The Ramsey Show - App - I Want To Be Able To Provide for My Future Family

Episode Date: May 30, 2022

Dave Ramsey and Dr. John Delony discuss: Using a gifted money to pay off debt, How to change your family tree financially, Navigating a move while your family is expecting. Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: https://bit.ly/3nInETX Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6  

🎵 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Thank you for joining us, America. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. We'll take calls from you because we help people build wealth,

do work that they love, and create real relationships. By the way, that's done in the middle of a fake world, so there you go. It's God's and Grandma's ways of living your life. Again, free call, 888-825-5225. Devin is with us in Montana. Hi, Devin. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave. Hi, Dr. John. Thank you guys for taking my call. How are you today? Better than we deserve. What's up? So back in early 2018, my grandparents had run into some money and they decided to give it to a lot of the grandkids. I was given $3,000, but attached with it, he wanted it to be used, my grandpa wanted it to be, well, both my grandparents, for education or investment only. I chose to invest it in some ETFs, which have grown about 50% since then.

But so my wife and I, we have started our debt-free journey at the beginning of this month, and we're already in baby step two. And I'm wondering if I should use this money towards paying off the debt, but I'm kind of torn because I feel like I'd be betraying the reason that I was given this money for. So I was curious on your opinion about it. When you get out of debt, what is your plan for money? Well, our first plan is obviously to build an emergency fund three to six months. Then what is your plan for money? Well, I would like to eventually start a family with my wife and move to a larger house.

Okay. You're going to follow the baby steps and start investing 15% of your income into retirement? Yes. And then when you're 100% debt-free, you're going to follow what we've been teaching around here, which is unbelievable generosity and continuing to invest? Mm-hmm. Okay.

So are you not investing the money then well you're going around the barn to get there but my point is your most powerful wealth building tool is not your grandfather's gift it is your income and by getting out of debt you're going to honor your grandfather's wishes because you're going to be an investor what your grandfather didn't want you to do is go buy something stupid right yeah and that's why it came with that stipulation yeah and what did he how long did he expect you to invest this for um you know he didn't really say yeah to never be used for anything ever to never use it when you never use it ever when you need it for anything to buy a house to do anything smart with he was just trying to keep you from doing some stupid butt something with it.

My granddad passed away several years ago, but I guarantee you this. He's a World War II vet. He was an engineer. He was meticulous. And if I had come to him and said, hey, I invested a gift you gave me for X number of years, it's grown to this, I'd like to use it to become debt-free. So that I can invest more. So that I can build wealth he

would have hugged me right your grandpa would too dude yeah is your grandpa gone no he's still around okay all right are we putting words in his mouth or not uh no yeah so i mean you're listening if you want to take the money out and try and and cruise around the world and end up 25 years old and broke later i'm not going to tell you to do that and because your grandfather would wring your neck and so would i okay but that's not what we're discussing here we're talking about using the money to further your wealth building so that you can enjoy your life be outrageouslyously generous, and change your family tree, which was ultimately his intent. He was just trying to keep you from doing something dumb.

But, I mean, if you just go up and go, hey, I paid off all my debt, and he thinks you're going to go right back in debt, he's going to think that was dumb. Right. So if you want to have a conversation with him, it wouldn't be too bad. How much debt do you have? So we have about $40,000 in debt. What has this $3,000 grown to? It's grown to about $4,500. Okay.

Okay. So you're not talking about cashing out a $50,000 plan either and paying off $50,000 worth of debt. I mean, you're talking talking about cashing out a fifty thousand dollar plan either and paying off fifty thousand dollars for the debt i mean you're talking about a small amount yeah just to kind of take a chunk out of it so um you know i i don't know how he'll react i have no idea but i'm guessing this guy's just a common sense guy and he just didn't want you to do something stupid you're not doing something stupid very much as as long as you follow through on this, I think it's in the spirit of the gift. If you follow through and you're not consuming the money irresponsibly,

instead you're using the money to invest, to ultimately become a better investor. But if you don't follow through on it, if you pay off the credit cards and then you turn around and run them back up again, I mean, he's going to box your ears and so will i and deservedly so right yeah or maybe maybe you make this the last 45 you pay off not the first 45 and it can be the you know the little light here at the end of the tunnel yeah but i don't know it's okay to have a discussion with him about it um but um it's not his money anymore by the way yeah he gave that he gave uh he you're trying to be kind by honoring his intentions and that's good and i appreciate the honor that you have in

that uh but you're under no obligation you can do whatever you want to do with it i mean you can go blow it i wouldn't recommend that but because i think you'd feel bad for the rest of your life about it so i inherited five thousand dollars from my grandmother when she passed away years and years and years and years ago. She had eight bazillion grandkids, and they sold the big farm, and we each got like $4,800 or something. And I have no idea where it went. No idea. And so you don't want to live with that taste in your mouth the rest of your life,

because I have to sit here and say that out loud because that's what really happened. And so, you know, in this case, you know exactly what happened, but the trick is that makes this an honorable move, if you used it to pay off the debt, is to follow all the way through, and the net result is you're investing more. And so, but if something short of that happens, then you've not honored him, and that's not what we would advise you to do then. So, good question.

Thank you for joining us. It's a powerful thing, honor. Yeah, it's hard. Honor is a good thing. Yeah. And it's in short supply so when you can find a young guy like that particularly that is um concerned about honor that's a good thing it's the best thing yeah if you if you say i'm a person who is honorable it will frame a lot of your daily actions and choices yeah it's a there's a beauty to it oh yeah there's a beauty to it. Oh, yeah. There's a beauty to it.

This is The Ramsey Show. Growing your business starts with growing your leadership. If you want to take your business to the next level, you need to attend our largest and most epic leadership event of the year, Entree Leadership Summit. I'm excited to announce we'll be back in my hometown, Nashville, Tennessee, on May 30th through June 2nd, 2023 at the Gaylord Opryland Resort. We always bring together the best minds in business and leadership for this event, and next year is no exception. I'll be speaking along with our very own Ken Coleman and Dr. John Deloney. We've also got Jordan Peterson, Willie Robertson, James Clear, Patrick Lencioni, Amy Cuddy, and more. After these four incredible days at Summit, you'll leave feeling refreshed, recharged, and re-energized to go out and lead with excellence. This event sells out early every year.

So if you want to reserve a seat for you and your key leaders, go right now to ramseysolutions.com slash summit. We can't wait to see you at Summit next year. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today as we talk about your life and your money. If you've taken Financial Peace University, you know it's life-changing. It's hard to watch your friends and family struggle with money when you know there's a way. You know there's hope. Now you can actually help them change their family tree just like you did when you give them a Ramsey Plus gift card. It bundles everything that they need to win with money into one gift.

It includes Financial Peace University, a year of the premium version of EveryDollar. The EveryDollar app connects to your bank. And now we've also added unlimited group coaching from our team of financial coaches. So coaching, EveryDollar, Financial Peace University. Wow. A Ramsey Plus gift card. Listen to this. All of that. That should be like 500 worth of stuff 99 bucks and that's a year's access 99 bucks that's a deal that's a hookup man that's a deal i think we've made a mistake but okay but it's really it's it

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Gift card, $99. Get some everything. And here's the thing they can't throw it in the um back closet and not get it out for five years because it's only good for a year so they got to go do it and they can't buy something stupid on amazon with that gift card so get them a gift card it's actually going to change their life you mean they're stupid stuff on amazon i've bought my share of stupid stuff it goes like every you know once a year this morning here's what you bought this morning. No, not this morning.

But it says, if you don't want to buy stupid stuff on Amazon, the best thing to do is stay away from Rachel Cruz. Here's what you bought last year. And I look at it and go, oh, man, I really needed those special fishing hooks. I don't even know what that does, but I hit the button and got it delivered. Oh, all right. David's in Dallas. Hi, David. How are you?

Hey, Dave and Tom. It was great to talk to you and pick your brains on something today. Sure, what's up? Well, I'm 56. I've got $228,000 in six different debts, including two student loans, my wife's undergrad, and then my Parent PLUS loan for my kid, who has on your show doing a day debt-free screen back in 2018 um and then also uh master's work that i did and y'all are educated up around there i hope you're making money what's your household income uh about 150 that's good okay actually about now, come to think of it. Okay. So what I'm trying to figure out is, given my age, given the debt level,

is it wise for me just to stick with Baby Step 2 or to go ahead and start putting some into Roth to start making some headway there? What do you and your wife do for a living? We both work in education. She's a teacher, and I work in IT. What do you do in IT? I'm a director. I manage email, voicemail, telephone systems. My group handles everything that all the end users touch.

So you're making how much of the $160,000? About $102,000. Okay. Are you allowed in your current contract to take any side consulting gigs? Yes. Good. You need some. So here's what, number one, the answer to your question is no,

you don't need to go get a Roth IRA. Instead, what you need is a vision for paying off this debt very, very quickly so that you're not panicked about the fact that you have no retirement. So what if I said, let's go completely out of our minds bizarre for two years and be debt free? You guys both are high intellect. You're both very intellectual people. And if you're not careful, you're going to think yourself out of a visceral response to this problem, which is the fastest way out. I want you to get so pissed off that your eyes are bleeding and your brain quits thinking.

And all you do is go make money like a maniac and get your income up at two and a quarter and live on beans and rice and you don't need to see the inside of a restaurant unless you're working there and if you even get on amazon again i'm going to throw your computer in the dadgum trash and oh by the way you're not going on vacation you need to get your butt in gear and get this mess cleaned up that kind of emotion instead of using intellect to fix this problem because you use intellect to fix everything because you're so freaking smart. Well, if I were that smart, I wouldn't be in this. Hey, man. We've talked to a lot of doctors.

You are both highly educated, very analytical people. Am I right? Pretty much. Yeah. And so you're trying to figure out a way around this is why you called. And instead, I'm throwing dynamite in the middle of this thing. Hit it in the mouth, man. Blowing you up, man. much yeah and so you're trying to figure out a way around this is why you called and instead i'm throwing dynamite in the middle of this thing blowing you up man well i mean i do pick up uh stuff that's primarily in the fall um it goes basically from august through january ish and

and i'm trying to add to it for the spring. I mean, I end up picking up additional stuff through work, working games where I pick up, you know, $4,000 to $6,000 a year additional. I'm talking about $50,000. Yeah, that's $50 a pop. You've got to make more than that. I'm talking about $50,000. You're in an industry where you can contract out and manage it from your home while your wife is asleep and go bananas.

And I don't want you to do this for very long, but I want you to have no life so that very quickly you have a life again. Because here's the thing. Let's pretend that you lost your mind and people thought you were crazy like I'm describing, and you guys just went bananas. You scorched earth on the lifestyle, and in two years you were free at 58. How rich are you going to be making by then probably $180,000 a year without working crazy and having no payments in the world for the first time in your recent memory?

You're going to have so much margin that you're going to be able to throw so much money. You'll probably be worth in excess of a million dollars by the time you get to 65 starting at 58 but you have this barrier in front of you and you have two years of hell to bust that barrier can y'all do that you know the only challenge we have is our daughter, single parent of an infant, and having to care for her sometimes and my wife having to juggle working late sometimes. But we can figure that piece out. It can also be a really challenging conversation sitting down with your daughter saying,

we're going to be able to, we've got this plan, which is going to benefit you and this young granddaughter in the long run, exponentially more than scattershot babysitting here in the current? Well, no, it's not that. She works 7A, 7P, and there is no daycare that we found. We found inexpensive daycare, 45 bucks a day while she is at work and while we're at work. But when we get home, one of us is there watching. That doesn't mean that I can't go ahead and work, you know, doing IT stuff, et cetera. So here's the thing.

Yeah, there's a lot going on, and you have some barriers. The truth is, though, the best way to get where you want to be. See the path, not the barriers. The best way you – well, there are obstacles. There are things you have to work through, whatever it is. You can call them whatever you want to call them. But the best way to be where you want to be nine years from today is what I just described. Go think about it and go get it done.

The highest probability of you getting there in the shortest amount of time is what i described from all of my 30 years of doing this i don't know a better way and it and it is not a better way to limp into retirement with three different kinds of student or four different kinds of student loans hanging around your neck and you've got a half butt roth ira right and that's where you'll be nine years from now if you try to just short circuit this system instead of punching this thing in the nose and but there's something that has to happen inside of your deep down where you growl that's not your brain yes it's the i've had it moment and you're just howling at the moon and you're going no more i've worked my butt off i got this stupid parent plus loan i've got this kid

single with a single mom one of my grandbabies and i love them dearly but dad gum what a mess and oh my gosh and i gotta fight through this and there's something you're just going to double up your fist and just get after it and that's the best way out of this it's the fastest way out and i don't know a better way a modified version of that to tell you. If I did, I would. Because what I'm prescribing is a horrible two years. I want you to have a miserable two years so that the next 25 are excellent. There you go. This is The Ramsey Show. Thank you. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host.

Thank you for joining us in the lobby of Ramsey Solutions on the Debt Free Stage. Larry and Kamisha are with us. Hey, guys, how are you? Hey, Dave, how are you? How's it going? Welcome. Where do you guys live? We currently live in Fayetteville, North Carolina, and we just moved there from Tallahassee, Florida.

Tallahassee, Florida. All right. Fun, fun. Well, welcome to Nashville. All the way here to do a Debt Free Scream. How much did you pay off? $60,563. Love it.

Not that we're counting, right? How long did this take? 20 months, Dave. Good for you. And your range of income during that time? When we first started this journey, it was $84,000, and when we ended, it was $116,000. Wow, nice jump. Good job.

What do you all do for a living? I'm a program director working with people with intellectual and developmental disabilities. And I'm a business analyst at a university. Okay. Very good. Good for you guys. What kind of debt was the $61,000? Credit cards, student loans, car payment, a car loan.

We had a college loan. Well, it wasn't a loan. It was parking tickets. Oh, no. And such. That's classic. On the college campus. Well, it wasn't a loan. It was parking tickets and such. Oh, no. That's classic. On the college campus. I love that. There you go.

Man, they'll get you. Every time. That's an extra tax on the university. Yeah. So you guys were normal. Oh, yeah. How long have you been married? Be four years in June.

Yep. All right. So what happened two years ago, halfway into this marriage, and you went, uh-uh, something's got to change. What happened? What was the deal breaker that got you on this Ramsey stuff? The deal breaker? I think on our honeymoon, we had the biggest argument ever. Oh, no!

We hadn't talked about money much, and so it just came out, and we just had a huge money argument. And it was just like, man, it was a wake-up call. Like, man. Who was wrong? I wasn't. Clearly. Clearly. That is a warning.

You are wise. He's wiser than fighting on his honeymoon. Wise. He's learned. Yeah, all right. Yeah, I had to, you know, just make some decisions. It was the war to end all wars. There you go.

So what happened 20 months ago got you on this plan? So I've been talking with my pastor for a while in Tallahassee, and he kind of introduced me to Dave Ramsey and the plan, and it just woke me up. I'm like, man, we can do this. So just trying to get her on board, like, let's do this. This is going to really help us and really help change our lives. But she was already wanting to do it back at the honeymoon yeah not at all no no no it was the

wrong oh oh oh okay i was i was the free spirit i wanted to spin spin spin okay oh no did she call you chief on your honeymoon yeah it's my fault yeah. So, Kamisha, how did he get you to consider this whole new way of handling and looking at money? Well, he brought it to my attention, and I still was not impressed. I bet. And then one of my coworkers, she actually went through your plan, and her and her husband became debt-free, and she shared the story with me. And I said, okay, Lynn just told me about this. You know, Larry just told me about this. Larry just told me about this. Let's give it a try.

Eight months into it, I still was not convinced. I still wasn't convinced. Yeah, we took FPU in February of 2020, right before the pandemic hit. You are a hard sale. Absolutely. You're a hard sale. Absolutely. Eight months of the 20.

But what happened then? How did you become convinced? We paid off our credit cards. She started seeing results. Started seeing the results. It was worth it. You started seeing it was worth it. Yes.

Absolutely. And believing you were actually going to make it. Yes. Clearly. We were so busy because we're both in school. So we're both in school getting our masters. And we have a three-year-old. And just trying to balance everything.

We're both graduating this semester. What are your master's in? I'm getting my master's in public administration. And autism spectrum disorders. Oh, yeah. Beautiful. Hey, there's nothing like a pandemic to pucker up a university business analyst, right?

There you go. Wide open. I've got some buddies that were still sweating, right? sweating right like hey we should probably get out of debt absolutely so it was definitely a wake-up call and you know we were on on the track uh ahead of time and then you know when that pandemic hit it was like our last two classes of fpu we we did remote and so it's like man this we have to really pay off this debt. Wow. And go full steam ahead. So I'm guessing that neither of you had a picture growing up of what debt-free living looked like.

Absolutely not. No, not too much. I know my parents, you know, we were in a good position and really prepared us. But really not, you know, for this debt-free journey was something new for us but i knew it was you know it was our purpose what do you think man you got a three-year-old what tell me about what you're thinking about having a three-year-old that will never understand that level of stress will never understand not being completely and totally free we look at her with so much gratitude we were just talking about her today and we said she's so blessed. She doesn't know

the things that she won't get to experience that we were able to protect her from just by going through this journey. Absolutely. Changed the family tree. So will you ever go back in debt? Oh no. Not at all. Not a chance. No credit cards. We actually when we took the FPU class, he was the only

one to cut up his credit card like first day and we cut the credit card, like, first day. And we cut the credit card, and we have not used credit cards since. Did you hit him on the way home in the car? No, no. I was impressed. Yeah. And we just finished leading FPU as well.

We just finished. Our week nine was on Sunday. Wow. Thank you. We just finished leading our class. Shout out to Steve. At the new place in Fayetteville. Yeah. Wow.

Very cool. Well, thank you for doing that. Well, you guys are star pupils. Noading our class. Shout out to Steve. At the new place in Fayetteville. Yeah, wow. Very cool. Well, thank you for doing that. Well, you guys are star pupils. No question about it. I'm proud of you. Thank you. Very, very well done. Absolutely.

Now that you're 100% free and you're on the same page, how does it feel? It's gratitude. It just feels, I'm grateful. I'm so grateful just to be able to lead my family and to green a pasture and to know that I'm really walking this thing called life, that God really designed us to walk it the right way and to not be a borrower anymore, never again. So we're on this journey together. Woo!

I love it. Making it happen. Yeah! Preach it. I love it. Yeah. Preach it. I like it. What's one thing you can give us that a husband can tell his wife when she's like, I'm eight months in, I'm not doing this. Give America one line.

Be patient. Be patient. And to the wives, I would say, you know, trust your spouse. I was so afraid. I had FOMO, fear of missing out. I didn't want to let go of things. And I had to just let go and just trust him because he was trying to lead us in the right direction. But I was worrying about my status and, you know, wanting to get my nails done and wanting to go out to eat.

But it was bigger than that. And so he had the vision from the beginning. And I just had to trust him and trust the process. And now you can get your nails done and go out to eat whenever you want anytime you want you got no debt I love it absolutely live like no one else later you can live and give like no one else all right now when you're teaching the class what do you tell them the key to getting out of debt is for me it was just really losing your reputation I think I really had to lose my reputation of, you know, having this status of having these things. And it's not about that anymore.

And I had to really figure out a new reputation. My reputation was to, you know, lead my family in the right direction. Also, I just had to stop listening to broke people. She doesn't like me to say that. But I really had to stop listening to broke people. She doesn't like me to say that, but I really had to stop listening to broke people. Like, if I didn't want to trade places with you, I'm not listening to your advice. So really, you know, just studying God's word and listening to, you know, your podcast every day really kept, you know, keep us motivated and staying on track in the right direction. You guys are amazing.

You're an absolute power couple. We're so proud of you. Thank you. Well done. Well well done we got a copy of the baby steps millionaires book for you that's definitely the next chapter in your story you are on your way thank you very well done and a copy of total money makeover you can give that away to somebody and stir up a holy ruckus oh yes i like it i like it all right it's larry Kamisha. They paid off $61,000 in 20 months. Quite an adventure. Making 84 to 116. Count it down.

Let's hear a debt-free scream. Three, two, one. We're debt-free! We're debt-free! Woo! Yeah! I don't care who you are, that's fine Oh man Stop taking advice from broke people

If I don't want to trade places with you I'm not interested in what you have to say That will preach, Larry About my parenting, about my marriage About my money I don't want what you have No thank you. I will pass on that.

I like it. This is The Ramsey Show. Thank you. Our scripture today, Ezra 10.4. Rise up, this matter is in your hands. Our scripture of the day, Ezra 10.4. Rise up. This matter is in your hands. We will support you, so take courage and do it. Babe Ruth said, Yesterday's home runs don't win today's games. Our question of the day comes from Blinds.com. Find out for yourself why Blinds.com is the number one online retailer of custom window coverings.

Free samples, free shipping, and with the new promos they run every month, you'll save even more. Use the promo code RAMSY to get the best possible deal. All right, today's question comes from Kristen in New York. I'm a 25-year-old college graduate and employed full-time. I grew up in a very affluent family. During adolescence, it was great, but moving into adulthood, I've realized that everything I have is because of my parents and their generosity. My parents literally pay for everything, gas, food, clothes, phone, insurance.

I have no idea how to manage my finances or grow my wealth. In the next year, I want to buy my own home and set myself up for a successful future. I want to be able to provide a future family with everything my parents provided to me. Where should I begin? It's a great question. I would tell you, you've already begun because you recognized it. The number of people who are 35 or 40 who haven't put this together yet is staggering. So good for you for even recognizing, whoa, I'm out on an island island here i don't even know how i got here i love it yeah um it's a little overstated everything you have

is not because your parents you graduated from college and you're employed full-time so the last batch of food that went in the refrigerator you went to the grocery store and bought if you're employed full-time unless you live with your mom or unless they're just having things delivered or whatever wow well i would stop any income coming from your parents you're 25 you need to financially separate from them would you if you haven't already but i kind of sense she has she just means that they they set her up as well i think that i think she's probably still getting you think they're still buying her gas? Yeah. What would you think about this?

She says my parents literally pay for everything. Yeah. Still, I guess. Yeah. Oh, stop that. You're 25. What would you think about the conversation of sitting down with your mom or your dad, whoever runs the money, and saying, it's time for me to start learning the lessons?

What are the principles and the rules by which you steward and manage your money? Because I want to learn those. I wonder if that'd be a good – I guess if the response is, don't worry about it. We're taking care of you. Then you know that that's not going to be a good source of wisdom and information. But they might sit down and say, I'd love to teach you. I don't know. That's probably where I would start.

Yeah, I would do that. I'd jump into Financial Peace University, and I think you need a 90-day plan to be completely financially on your own. You're 25 and you're full-time employed. Yeah. I love that idea, too. Like, start at the baby steps. Yeah.

And you're going to be able to expedite them, but learn the principles. But go ahead and learn how to handle money. Learn how to do a budget. Learn how to pay your light bill. And, you know, you're being treated like you're 12. Right. Not like you're 25. And so in that sense, your mom and dad are a little off kilter.

I bet there's some heavy, not strings, I bet there are some ropes attached to these relationships. It might be, or it might be they're just getting tremendous personal satisfaction out of providing everything without thinking about the harm that it is doing because you haven't got any muscle tone. But to say, if I lift all the weights for my son, then he never feels the pressure of the bar, which is fine, but he never grows any muscle either. Yeah, and so let's pretend that this is an absolute best-case scenario, and there are no ropes or strings attached, and your dad and mom are simply just very sweet and very generous people. And that's an absolute best-case scenario. And they're not really drawing some kind of sick psychological income from doing all of this.

Okay, that's an absolute best-case scenario. They're just sweet, generous people. In which case, somebody in this equation in this story needs to wake up and go, you're an adult. And that's going to be you. So she's done. And that's going to be you sitting down with mom and dad and going, guys, I'm going to go through this class, Financial Peace University. I'd love some input from you guys on how I can be as good as you are someday. And we need to develop a plan where i am financially uh sustaining myself that we sever the ties and

you quit giving money you quit paying for anything because really within 90 if if you got a reasonably good job you should be able to pay your own freaking bills absolutely and part of wealth management and legacy management is sitting down with mom and dad when you're 25 and you have your own job and you're all grown up is saying where are the wills and what happens when and who's where's the trust and who runs this stuff and being able to learn you've i've learned from you you you have some hard conversations with your kids and family yeah yeah um but they're not they're not well yeah the good news is they may not be there i don't know i mean this is just there's so much um this is so mushy and soft um in a in a bad way there's no muscle tone yeah it's everything's

atrophying so yeah you kristin you got to call this off it has to end and you got to do it as gently and kindly and firmly as you can. You're not trying to be disrespectful. It's been a wonderful thing, and I'm very grateful for all you've done. Well, you're just not grateful. No, I'm very grateful, but I'm also 25. I'm, like, grown and stuff. And stuff. So I'm going to start paying my own light bill.

And surely to God, their electric bill is her electric bill is not in their name but maybe they bought her a house and they just went ahead and have their name on the deed of the house and they pay the bills she may not be she may be living with them yeah no i want to buy my own home she may you may need to get an apartment that's what your first step and learn to live on your own. Learn to buy your groceries. Learn to pay your bills. Learn to set the electric bill up on the draft on your checking account.

Learn to do these kinds of things. And, you know, get all that done before you buy a home. I bet she's still living at home. That's what's going on. So you need to make plans to move out too. ASAP. ASAP. As soon as possible because fun things will happen to your uh

psychological emotional spiritual development when you're on your own um i mean i noticed that when our kids were no longer under our umbrella that they walked different absolutely there's a dignity to being your own person and you probably noticed they skinned their knees a few times and twisted an ankle. That's part of walking on your own, right? Yeah, they blew a tire and they figured it out. That's right. I don't mind helping them, but they figured it out. And you're not 12.

You're 25. It's a different thing. So it's good. It's a good discussion. So, hey, thanks for writing in. This is the first reverse debt snowball i've heard you take fpu so you can learn how to deal the money the other way yeah that's right you learn how to handle all this money you got don't know what to do with it heather's in los angeles hi heather

welcome to the ramsey show hi thank you for taking my call i have to say this is uh an honor i've listened to you since i was a teenager wow thank you Thank you. How can we help? It's a big deal for me. My husband and I are expecting and also looking to move out of state here in the next six months or so. When is the baby due? November, the beginning of November. And you want to move right as the baby is due? I know. We're crazy.

We're looking to move maybe around September to Arizona. So hoping to miss the really hot part, but move and stuff before the baby comes. And you're going to move in the third trimester. This is your first child, isn't it? Yeah, I know. And September's real, real hot in Phoenix. I know. Why the urgency? Well, we live in Los Angeles uh which i feel like speaks for itself

um we we want to get the heck out of dodge if i'm going to be completely honest go now what about in 30 days well my husband uh has not been approved to work remotely yet and so that's part of what we're waiting for also Also, I'm a swim instructor, so we're hoping that I can crank out a bunch of swim lessons, make a ton of money, and then we can move after that. My hope is to be a stay-at-home mom, if that's possible. But we want to buy a house, and so I'm looking for some insight as to whether or not you think

now with the economy is going to be the right time. We would have 10% to put down, which is not as much as I'd like. Yes, we are on Baby Step 3B. If you're buying a home financially and you're debt-free and you put down a reasonable down payment and your payment is no more than a fourth of your income on a 15-year fixed, that's okay. However, most people don't make really, really great decisions in their third trimester. And moving in your third trimester as a father of three sounds like a really dangerous idea. I might wait until January, first of December. Up to you.

That puts this hour of the Ramsey Show in the books. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace. Christ Jesus. Hey, it's John Deloney, co-host of The Ramsey Show. Did you know over 18 million people listen to The Ramsey Show every week? A lot of those people listen on one of our 600-plus radio stations across the country.

To find a station near you, go to RamseySolutions.com slash show.