The Ramsey Show - App - I Want To Change My Family Tree (Hour 2)

Episode Date: March 1, 2021

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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's The Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, number one best-selling author, is my co-host here on the air today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. As we talk about your life, because Dr. John's here, we talk about your money, because I'm here, and I'll interrupt him anyway, because I own the show.

That's how it works. That's how our little interaction works. That's how most of my life works. At home, my wife owns that. I was going to say, I'm always interrupting you. What is that you own this part so it's good okay well everybody's gotta have a gift that's right open phones at 888-825-5225 let's start with cameron in los angeles hi cameron welcome to the dave

ramsey show hi dave thanks for having me on i really appreciate it you too How can we help? just to get out of it, you know, make some mistakes. And I didn't even realize that, you know, I was making them. But after hearing your show, you know, I really think that, you know, I want to get my life, you know, straightened out. And, you know, I want to aim for financial freedom. Okay. What kind of debt do you have? So I have it all broken down. Well, I have a home, and it's $525,000.

I feel better already. Yeah, for real. I just exhaled. I was afraid you had $745,000 of student loan debt or something. I didn't know what to tell you. Okay. But, yeah, $525,000 on the home. What's that home worth, by the way?

So right now it's about $700,000. Okay, cool. And what's the other $220,000? I have $150,000 in student loans. I have, you're going to get upset, but I have $20,000 in timeshare. And 30 personal loans, 10 in in car and 10 in credit card okay all right and who's the personal loan to the bank uh yeah okay all right and are you a doctor or lawyer uh neither nurse practitioner now oh no that's good. Okay, all right. I thought with that student loan bill, there may be something involved here.

So what are you making? So right now, I make $135,000. Good news. And you're what, 28? And I expect $30,000. $30,000. Okay, close enough. And I expect my time is going to go up to about 150 to 180 in the next year.

Excellent. Excellent. Okay, good. Well, you're not afraid of work. That's good news. Are you married? No. Okay.

Cool. So, what is it you want to accomplish here? I just, you know, I made a lot of mistakes, and I kind of just want, you know, the best way to get on track. You know, I'm the first in my family to, you know, to ever graduate college and even have, you know, some level of success with money. And, you know, I want to make sure I change, you know, my family's tree.

Well, congratulations. It's awesome, man. I already started on a bad note, and I want to just fix it. That's a wonderful start. Good for you. It's awesome, man. Well, the bad news is there's a mess. The good news is that the hole that you're in compared to the shovel that you have, 130 to 180 income, this is very doable.

Okay? So it just depends on how quickly you want to do this and how deeply you want to sacrifice. Obviously, the more deeply you sacrifice, the quicker you'll get out. Does that make sense? Yes. Because we'll use more of your income to clean up the mess, the more deeply you sacrifice, and or you sell that house

and you've gotten rid of most of it. So not suggesting you do that, but I'm just saying those are sacrifices. No life, no house, but the debt's all gone, and you start fresh. And you could do that pretty quick. I don't think I would in your case. I think I would if I were in your shoes. I'd hold on to the house, and let's plow through $220,000 worth of debt making $150,000 to $200,000.

Let's just play with some numbers. If you put $50,000 on it or $75,000 on it, it takes you three years which is $2,000 a month. No, it's not. I wish it was $2,000 a month. It's not even close. It's way more than that. It's $6,000 a month. No, it's not. I wish it was $2,000 a month. It's not even close. Yeah, it's way more than that. It's $6,000 a month. Thank you.

But anyway, yeah, if you do that, that's $75,000 a year, you'll be debt-free in three years. Translation, you have absolutely no life. You're working so many overtime shifts, your eyes are crossing. You are living on beans and rice, rice and beans. You are not going on vacation, and you're not going to see the inside of a restaurant unless you're working there as your extra job, which you shouldn't do as a nurse practitioner. You ought to be nursing as your second job. Okay.

I can do that. I can do that. I kind of think you can. I know you can. I think you're the guy. Did you follow the math with me? 75 times 3 is 2 1⁄4. Yeah.

But $75,000, $6,000 a month out of your income means you're working extra and you are living on nothing. And you're going to list these debts smallest to largest, and you're going to attack them with a vengeance. And your community, who has seen you as the guy that got out, the first guy to go to college, the first guy to get the big fancy job, the guy that works in the hospital, is not going to understand why you're driving a crummy car and working on the weekends.

They're not going to understand why you're not picking up the tab, and that's why they're broke. And this is the gut-wrenching moment when you change the family tree with the hard, hard stuff now. Honestly, Cameron, the people that have done this stuff that we've worked with over 30 years, the ones that are the most successful care the least about what other people think. Caring what other people think caring what other people think it will kill you on this so if broke people are making fun of your financial plan you're always on track okay i really appreciate it so really quick you don't think i should get rid of the house not unless you have to if you if you can if you can lean into it for three years if you if you want to move anyway okay that's fine but if

you want to hold on to a piece of california real estate which is not a bad idea and you want to lean into this and bust it then i think you can keep the house and still be done in three years or sooner um if i thought it was going to take you 10 years, I'd sell the house. Okay. But the math says it's not if Cameron says he can do it, and it's all up to Cameron now. But we'll help you. We have a thing called Ramsey Plus,

and we're going to give you a one-year subscription to that, and that puts you into the Financial Peace University class. It puts you into the every dollar premium version of the budgeting app. It puts you into the Financial Peace University class. It puts you into the every dollar premium version of the budgeting app. It puts you into the Baby Steps tracker. It connects you up with all the tools like the Death Snowball tool. It connects you with everything you need to be able to move to the next level and to cause all this to happen, including community and coaches and everything else. I'm going to give it to you because I just want to start this hour that way,

and you are on. I think he's going. He's going, man. He's going to do it to you because i just want to start this hour that way and you are on i think he's going he's going to do it he's going to do it i know he's going to do it call me back get that free scream man i'm smiling brother i love it three years from now i'll be sitting here waiting on you hold on kelly will pick up we'll get you signed up This time last year, we didn't know how our lives were going to change. We didn't have a clue that COVID, job loss, and homeschooling were about to take over our daily existence. And you may be feeling like last year got away from you. Maybe you lost complete control of your money. Or maybe you had to find a new job quickly to make ends meet.

The bad news is a lot can happen in a year. But the good news is a lot can happen in a year. Which is why now is the time to think about where you want to be this time next year. And if you're looking for a proven plan to get back on track, our number one best-selling book, The Total Money Makeover, will walk you through the seven baby steps for getting out of debt faster, creating a budget you can stick to, building real wealth, and becoming outrageously generous.

Get your copy of The Total Money Makeover today at the online store at DaveRamsey.com or call our Ramsey Concierge team at 888-22-PIECE. That's 888-227-3223. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. The phone number is 888-825-5225. Mike is in Tampa, Florida. Hey, Mike, what's up? Hey, Dave.

Hey, Dr. D. Thanks for taking the call. How are you guys today? Better than we deserve. How can we help? I need a little help with the tiebreaker for your favorite question. We are on Baby Step 2, and I'm debating on selling my vehicle. We saw the car came on my wife's car as well and student loans.

How much in student loans? Student loans is $30,000. What do you owe on your cars? I owe $12,000 on my wife's car, and I owe $32,000 on my expedition. And what's your household income? I make $140,000 on my acquisition. And what's your household income? I make $140,000 plus vehicle allowance, my mileage rate, and then my wife makes $50,000, and I have two side hustles that bring in about $20,000 a year.

So $250,000? About that, yes. Okay. And any other debt other than these three things on your mortgage? We actually rent. We don't have a mortgage. We decided to wait until we got out of debt. And no, we paid off all of our credit cards. We paid off all of the medical debt already. We are just now on to the vehicles and the student loans. Okay. And you're fired up about this, and she's not as fired up.

Yeah, I drive over 1,000 miles a week, so I work from Miami to Jacksonville. I'm on the road all day, and she's a little concerned that if I sell the vehicle or get something cheaper, it'll break down, and my vehicle allowance, my vehicle mileage generally covers the car payment and the gas. I'm on the other hand on the fence because I see debt going way faster. Okay. All right. Well, you get the vehicle allowance whether you have a car payment or not.

So comparing it to the car payment is a fool's trap. Don't get caught in that trap. But you can afford these cars and you can afford this debt. You can afford to pay off this debt. I mean, you got $74,000 worth of debt making $250,000. You ought to be debt-free in a year. That was the idea, yes. I figure under 15 months.

Okay, now let's pretend you're there. So that's probably what you ought to do, by the way. Okay, I think your wife wins the argument. As long as you're both on board with doing beans and rice and getting out of debt in a year. Yes, sir. Okay, now the second thing is this. You need to drive because you are destroying the value of whatever vehicle you drive.

Mm-hmm. You need to drive the least possible expensive car for purposes of your business that will get the job done. Now, let's put that in air quotes. Get the job done. The definition of getting the job done when i make 250 000 a year i don't need to be driving a freaking smart car i'll be in a chiropractor's office as much time as you spend in a car you don't need to be driving a piece of crap and broke down on the side of the highway okay so get the job done is a nice comfortable reliable, knowing that whatever I spend on it, I might as well pile that up in $100 bills in the front yard and light it on fire because you're going to destroy the value of whatever you drive. Agreed?

Yes, sir. Agreed. And so next time I buy a car, it's probably not going to be a $40,000 car to destroy. Yeah, absolutely. Dumb decision. Yeah. yeah no i'm not picking on you i'm just saying going forward that's what i would do because you just say i'm a road warrior even if you want a nice car in the driveway and a road warrior car for driving that i'm destroying i'm okay with that yeah that's what i that's thought of. I thought I was getting like a smaller car, and she said that I would be miserable, and I agree. You said the same thing.

Yeah, I just don't want you in a piece of crap that's not reliable, and I also don't want you in something that's, you know, you spend a lot of time in a car. It needs to ride good. It needs to drive good. It needs to be, you know, it's a road car. I mean, but you don't, buy a $100,000 Mercedes and turn it into a $10,000 Mercedes every three years. Because that's what you're doing. So that's the balance here.

It's a business decision what you put on the road. Now, you may reach a point with your income and your wealth that you have a road car and a weekend driver. That's your cool car that's at home. That's a $40,000 or a $50,000 car that's paid for sitting in your driveway. And then you get a brand new, what, Camry or Avalon or something to drive? Well, a two-year-old one. There you go, yeah. And just get you a two-year-old Camry and a nice Honda Accord loaded up or whatever.

I don't care what it is. I mean, old Caddy. Those Caddys are pretty nice. They're doing good. Just knowing you're going to burn the depreciation off that sucker to the ground. Whatever it is. And what you're looking for there is you're looking for gas mileage, too. Because you're running the wheels.

You're just running up and down the road 1,000 miles. You start putting 50,000 miles a year on a car, pretty much gone. Right. I mean, even if you take care of it, you can get a lot of life out of it. But my point is the value goes away. Right. Quickly. Yep.

Because nothing destroys value like mileage. So that or, you know, driving it up through the field. Yes. Jumping creeks or, you know, stuff like that. That's the John Delaney way of doing cars. Might be some rednecks sitting here that have done something like that. I don't know anybody like that personally, but they're in this room. All of us.

Okay, Josh is with us. Josh in Springfield, Illinois. Hey, Josh, how are you? Dave, what's up? Hey, man, how can we help? Hey, my wife and I are having a good hearted disagreement. We've got all our debt paid off except for a semi-truck and our house. So I was wanting you to kind of break the tie here.

What do you want to do, Josh? I want to pay the big truck off because it's a liability. What's the balance? $93,000. What about the house? $60,000. Woo! How much money you got in savings?

Now, last year, Dave, I put 160,000 miles on this semi-truck. How much money you got in savings? Oh, $35,000. And what's your household income? My 1099 last year for 2020 was $170,000. Yeah, but that's before expenses, right? The only expense taken out of that would be fuel, so $170,000 to my bank account. My truck payments are about $2,100 a month.

What's the fuel? The fuel, I would say, was around about $50,000 or $60,000 in fuel. Okay, so you made $120,000. Does she work outside the home? No. Okay, so if we have $120,000 and $35,000 and we have $150,000 in debt, how quickly can we pay both of them off? I think we pay the house off in less than a year.

Both of them should be gone in three years. Agreed? Agreed. Okay, so we're really not arguing about much, except just which one's going to be in the third year and which one's going to be in the first year. Correct. So which one does your wife want to do first?

She wants to do the house first. She wants to pay the house off. I want to pay this because this is depreciation. Yeah, but you get the depreciation either way, and either way they're both done in three years. Okay. So the only thing you're losing is not the concept of getting it paid off at all. The only thing you're losing is whether it's done in the second and third year

or whether it's done in the first and second year. Does that make sense? Yes. So this is now marital advice. So now I want you to go home tonight. I want you to, hey, Josh, I want you to take a knee. I want you to say, honey, I was wrong. I was wrong, and I love you, and you're beautiful,

and we're going to get this house paid off for you. And as long as we can both agree that we're going to play all the way through and be done with both in three years, I'm with you. Let's do the house first. You didn't really lose much. You just lost a little bit of time on your argument. You lost the argument, but that's okay. It's better to lose the battle and win the war, my brother.

You know, she's sitting right next to me laughing at me. The good news is you guys have a great marriage, and you're having a fun discussion about how many different ways you can become wealthy. These are lots of discussions couples never get to have. I'm so proud of y'all. That's impressive. That's cool, man. And I love the sense of humor about it all. If you can keep that about some of these conversations, man, that's cool man and i love the uh the sense of humor about it all if you can keep that

about some of these conversations man that's so good and we're having a discussion about how fast we're going to get everything paid off right and all of it is within three years there's no negative in this discussion nobody loses if yeah your your mortgage is paid off in three years or 12 months yeah yeah that's a cool place to be actually you're going to take some of that 35,000 well you got to have that as emergency fund probably. But if that's not your emergency fund, if that's extra savings, only $60 on that house, you're probably going to be out of debt before Christmas. He owes her a nice dinner tonight too.

Ooh. That's what happens when you lose the bet. Sharon used to say, I'll bet you a pizza. And we both got pizzas. Everybody wins. I take'll bet you pizza. And we both got pizza. Everybody wins. I take that bet every time. In the lobby of Ramsey Solutions on the Dead Free Stage, Nazeem is with us. Hi, Nazeem. How are you? Good. How are you, Dave?

Better than I deserve. Where do you live? I am from Mesa, Arizona. Oh, cool. Welcome to Nashville and all the way over here on the other side of the continent to do a debt-free scream. Yes, sir. Love it. How much you paid off? I paid about $45,000 in 23 months. Good for you. And your range of income during that time? I went about from $31,000 to $75,000. Wow. How did you double your income in two years? So I graduated with my degree from Arizona State, and then I had an opportunity to go work for a great company where I moved up in about a year.

Wow. Yeah, I was a supply chain major from Arizona State. Oh, very nice. Yes, sir. Good degree. Good degree. Well done, dude. Thank you.

Thank you. Appreciate it. Very fun. What kind of debt was the 45? So it was really, I was a normal person, I guess, I would say. So I had a lot of credit cards. I had about six credit cards. And my car loan, I had a big car loan.

And then my student debt as well as tuition. So it kind of started from there. My biggest debt was probably school and my car. What happened? What turned you around? So I had my dad actually pass away about three months ago. He's the reason why I started all this. When I was doing school, he introduced me to you, Dave, and he's like, here's to read a book.

And I said, no. I thought I was too cool for that because I was in college. He's like, no, I'm not going to read no book. I read enough books already. And after that, he just kept asking me, hey, did you read the book? I said, yeah yeah sure I did he's like okay what did you learn

oh you know nothing so I didn't really I didn't really I didn't push it until towards you know end of my graduation

where I really you know figured out okay how do I want to live and do I want to keep you know having a lot of debt and just live for everybody else

or do I want to live for my family myself so that was kind of my fire essentially wow wow very cool very cool else or do I want to live for my family myself? So that was kind of my fire essentially. Wow. Wow.

Very cool. Very cool. So what do you tell people the secret to getting out of debt is? The biggest secret, honestly, is the way I look at it. You say why, but mine is that I kind of changed it a little bit and I figured out what is your fire? When you camp out, if you don't put the tent to your fire, it goes out. So for me, I had to get, you know, for me, I'm a little Lee Bloomer, so he was like, okay, where's my gas?

Let me dump a bunch of gas, start the fire, keep it going. So by doing so, I just had to kind of accept the fact that, you know, my mom and I moved to the States when I was nine. So I fell into the norm. I said, okay, so what do I do from there? Do I want to live for somebody else or do I want to live for myself and build a future? So that was essentially my fire and go from there. And now I'm kind of blessed.

Thanks to you, my dad, my family, good friends of mine. A lot of people don't understand what we go through because they're in a different path and they'll constantly want to see, okay, let me get this new car to show off or let me post this on Instagram and et cetera. But at the end of the day, you're not going to meet them ever again most of the time. What was the hardest thing you had to go through? The hardest thing, honestly, was working two jobs. I was working over 100 hours a week. Wow. Yeah, I was bartending slash serving after my job.

So I wake up at 5, go home at 5 in the morning, get off at 5. Right after that, I go bartend, come home at probably 2 o'clock, 1 o'clock, and then repeat again. And I had to do that for a whole year. Wow. Yeah, a lot of coworkers didn't understand. And it wasn't my job to really tell them exactly why I'm doing this for me. So they'll ask.

I had a little portrait of my car and highlighted every time I hit the goal. I told my dad, I was like, hey, scratching that line. He said, all right, keep going. You're not done. So that's that. And then I have a really good friend. His name is JT. I kind of preached him about you a little bit.

He avoided it like I did, and then now he's on his path. He's going to be debt-free by January. All name is JT. Kind of preached him about you a little bit. He avoided it like I did and then now he's on his path. He's going to be debt free by January. Alright. Very cool. Exactly. So I'm really excited and I want to share my story and help everybody I can that really wants to learn and kind of send them your way. Like, hey, read this book. Sometimes

if they take it, they take it. If not, you just go on at that point. So were you out of debt by the time your dad passed? Did he get to see that? Unfortunately, no. I finally got out of debt after he passed away, like maybe two weeks after. Oh, my gosh. Yeah.

He had to be very proud of you. I hope so. I really do. He was my fire. And it's really hard to lose somebody, especially when you share a lot with them and through your journey and he just, he couldn't make it. I'm glad that this is, you know, not just for me, but for him as well

because he was pushing me. Absolutely. Hey, are you a father? No, no, sir. I have my sister here. She's my little sunshine, I guess. So I want you to look at me and Dave. We're both dads

and you said something I hope he is. I'm telling you right now, speaking from two dads, he was. Very proud of you. He watched his legacy grow in you, and he watched the roots of a tree get deeper and deeper, that he planted seeds that he's not going to get to eat the fruit of, but you are, and that's what every dad wants for their son and for their daughter. So he was proud of you.

Don't ever doubt that for a second. You got it? Yes, sir. That's incredible, man. Congratulations. And we are, too. We're proud of you. Well done, man.

Thank you. Well done. It's very cool. And you've got a great degree, a great field that you're in. Your future is bright. Well done. What do you tell people the key is now? Focus.

The fire. And what else oh and just stay focused you know don't compare yourself to anybody else you know everyone has their own journey yeah and um just focus on yourself that's the that's the key point is just i think i think you're right when when you get fired up about something enough you find a way and um you know you push through you push around you push you crack stuff, you blow stuff up. You find a way, you know, when it matters enough. And that's exactly right.

Well done. Very, very, very well done. Good for you. Well, we've got a copy of Chris Hogan's book for you, Everyday Millionaires. That's your next step. Yes, sir. You're going to be one, man. That's the plan. How old are you? I am 27. I just turned 27 in June. Yeah sir you're gonna be one man that's the plan how old

are you i am 27 i just turned 27 june yeah you're on your way man you are totally on your way well done all right it's nazim's hear a debt-free scream. Three, two, one. I'm debt-free! Yeah! This is how it's done. Wow. Awesome.

That is very cool. Very cool. Awesome. You know, a lot of you out there listening right now are going, you know, I would love to help a guy like that and coach him and help him get moving. And if that sounds like you, you need to consider working with a financial coach or becoming one of our Ramsey Preferred Coaches. We've got Ramsey Preferred Coaches. If you need some help, you can get in touch with them. They're trained our Ramsey Preferred Coaches. We've got Ramsey Preferred Coaches. If you need some help, you can get in touch with them. They're trained the Ramsey way.

If you want to become one of the Ramsey Preferred Coaches, we will train you the Ramsey way, show you what to do and how to set up a business and the whole bit. It's time to stop trying and start winning with your finances. Get in touch with a Ramsey Preferred Coach. Your money goals can be turned into a reality. Talk to a coach by texting RPC, for Ramsey Preferred Coach, RPC to 33-789, 33-789. Text the word RPC, and we'll get you in touch with those. And just check online at our coaching section if you have an interest in becoming a coach as well.

Very, very cool stuff. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host on the air here today. There is something about, I mean, when he mentioned fire and why, in Simon Sinek's book, Why, it was mentioned in another hour with a different debt-free screamer. And very few money struggles are noble in and of themselves. But why you do them is really noble. Right. And what you said about his dad being proud is absolutely true.

Absolutely true. And when you can add an element to your idea like I'm doing this to change my family tree, it's big. It's everything. Right. It puts everything in perspective. We get so focused on shiny things and not things of legacy, not things that are going to last. And so coming up with that Y, coming up with that fire, that thing you're going to fuel every day. If it goes out, you're going to get cold, right?

So I'm going to make it a priority to keep fueling it and keep fueling it and keep fueling it for a year. He went on four hours of sleep. So now he's got a changed family tree and he gets to sleep a full night, man. There's that. That's helpful. Right. You're sleep a full night, man. There's that. That's helpful. Right. You're worth a full night's sleep. Amen.

This is The Ramsey Show. We'll be right back. Our question today comes from Blinds.com. They have a 100% satisfaction guarantee. It means even if you mismeasure, you pick the wrong color, they'll remake your window blinds for free. Free samples, free shipping, new promos. Always use the magic word, the promo code Ramsey. All right, today's question comes from Matthew in Illinois. My sister is going through a divorce.

She's asking my wife and I to lend her money for a new house down payment. When the divorce finalizes, she could pay us back through joint assets she has with her soon-to-be ex. I don't like lending family money and friends money because it changes the relationships. I was wondering, how would you gently tell her no? This one's hard, Dave. I'm pretty strong when it comes to these boundaries. I'm interested. You've had this question for 30 years.

Rabbi Daniel Lappin wrote the book Thou Shall Prosper, and he has a great line in there when it comes to people asking for your time, people asking for your money. His response in writing, like a letter, for instance, he's writing a letter response is, I would if I could, but I can't, because my commitments to this, this, and this are going to prohibit me from being able to attend this meeting, whatever it is, right?

That kind of a thing. And so maybe that phrasing will help us here a little bit. And it might even be I won't in this case. This is my sister. I'm going to look at her and say, I would if I but i won't i could but i won't because i don't think you should right buy a house right now you're coming out of a divorce i think you should rent for a little while heal a little bit i think you're going to make a wiser decision a year even two years after the trauma of the lost marriage is behind you a little further

than you're going to make in the heat of the moment. And so I don't want to assist you in doing something that I think is going to be bad for you. Right. And if you know anything about how the liquidation of joint assets, it's a mess. It's never what you think it's going to be on the back end of this. And I think you're right. You can come stay with us for a month. Come stay with us for a few weeks, months along.

Or not. Or not. I'll pay for your hotel room. But, yeah, I'm not loaning you money. At the end of the day, I wish there was an easier way to say this, Matthew, but you sit down and tell your sister you love her, and either you can't or you won't. I'm not going to do this.

I love you. I don't think you should do this because I think it's unwise. I think you're going to make a much better decision a year after this is all over. You'll have your own money to do it then, and you won't be making a decision during the worst week of your life. That's right. And I want to walk through this with you. I want to love you as my sister. Yep.

And not... I'm your cheerleader here. Yeah, put strain on yet another relationship of somebody close to you in the hardest moment of your life. Yeah. And she's not going to hear it, and it's going to be like,

I needed you when the chips were down, and you didn't come through for me. And at some point, you've got to be okay knowing you're doing the right thing for the preservationist relationship long term. Yeah. Henry Cloud says that when you set a boundary with someone that doesn't have one, they seldom react well. That's right.

Yeah. And here's the thing. She'll barge up against it, try to knock that boundary over, see how firm it is. And you can become a travel agent for guilt trips. Tell her you love her. Tell her you love her. And she doesn't need someone else to judge her. That's hard when you say. I'm not judging you. I'm just saying. No, I'm telling you. Yeah. does she's gonna she doesn't need someone else to judge her that's hard when you say i'm not judging you i'm just no i'm telling you yeah

but she's gonna feel it right you're saying hey you're this this decision's a bad one i know better than you she's gonna hear that that way and i get that and it's hard um but man i'm not gonna hand you gasoline in the middle of fire and um here's some matches to get burned some matches light yourself on fire yeah you know and I gave you the matches. So now I, if you'll slow down and make a better decision, I can help you more. Yeah. And it's not that you're dumb or something like that. It's just you're, no one, when they're in the middle of extreme trauma, makes great decisions. That's right.

And if you think that divorce is not an extreme trauma, then you. It's one of the worst, right? One of the worst. Well, we went through a good divorce. I always want to go. Oh, so now we know why you got divorced. It's the lying. But I mean, off the air, you and I were just talking about, man, when you are in it, you

won't think clearly. Your brain has some mechanisms to take care of you, so you're not thinking clearly. It just wants you to run or fight, and that's when Matthew, you as her brother, can step in with some hard love and some hard truth and keep her from making a tough, wrong decision here in the middle of a hurricane. Kathy is with us in Milwaukee. Hi, Kathy. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show.

Thank you, and thanks so much for taking my call today. Sure. How can we help? I'm hoping you can help settle a disagreement that my husband and I are having. Yes, I love this. I've got the whistle, and I've got the referee's shirt on. I'm ready. I love these. I'm team you, and Dave will take your husband.

Let's go. All right. So we're very fortunate. We are debt-free. I follow Dave Ramsey. My husband, I would say, is Dave Ramsey-ish, but we've managed to work together over the years. We recently sold a business with a sizable profit, and with a sizable profit comes capital gains tax. We have had much information from friends and others sharing their advice to us. One advice that my husband

is entertaining is that we would take out a loan from a financial institution that we invest with at 3%, invest the entire amount of our profit for a presumable greater than 3% gain and pay off the loan with the profit over a series of about five years. I said, I don't think that's a great idea. I do not want any debt. And he said, well, what do you think Dave would say? And I said, let's call and find out. Ooh, Kathy Burr.

He doesn't really know much about Dave because you you completely you completely got him girl i mean you snagged him yeah that was tricky on your part that you're sly i try i try how much how much is this dadgum business how much money did y'all get it was um multiple millions multiple millions Multiple millions. Multiple millions. Over 10? Mm-hmm. No, nope. Okay. Still a fairly nice day, huh? Good. A very nice day.

Yeah. Listen, I'll tell you what I personally do in these situations. I pay my taxes and take what's left over and'll live my life with it, investing it and giving it and enjoying it and whatever else I'm going to do with it, okay? So it's real simple. There's not a chance under the sun Dave Ramsey's going to tell you to go borrow the money. And I'm going to go further. Whoever this investment company is that's suggesting this is suggesting it so that they

can make more commission because you're going to be investing more because you borrowed money to not pay your taxes. And not only is their advice wrong, it's self-serving. And so I would not only pay my taxes, I would get a new investment advisor. I love it. I love it. You validated everything i said to him yeah kathy i can i can feel your smile from milwaukee all the way to nashville

it's coming through the phone yeah that's right you're absolutely right it's it's a it's a fool's errand i mean to run around borrowing money in order to invest. And essentially that's what we're doing here in this discussion or what's being suggested to you. And it's a fool's errand to listen to friends who have never had a multi-million dollar liquidation event where they had that money laying in the middle of their kitchen table like you do so you need that i mean i've had this happen i've made that kind of money on a transaction and i'm sitting there looking at the taxes and so i haven't so tell me that's that's got a sting right oh god no it doesn't sting like i'm talking about multiple days it takes me to get over being pissed off, having to send a check that size to those idiots in Washington, D.C.

I was going to say, man. It melts my brain down. Yeah. Yeah. So now you just got personal, Dr. John. Now we're going to do a counseling session. For those of you not listening, the whole room just got real hot. Real hot.

Well, I mean, you think about it. Let's just say they got $4 million. All right? Yeah. That means they're going to be sending $800,000. More money they've ever seen in their life, they're about to write a check. It's their freaking money. Because they ran that business.

That's right. Not some toadstool in Washington, D.C. That's right. God, so maddening. But the rich ought to pay more in taxes. Oh, shut up! Way to go, Kathy. Now you got me in trouble.

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