The Ramsey Show - App - I Want To Keep an Inheritance a Secret From My Husband (Hour 2)

Episode Date: January 27, 2021

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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I am Dave Ramsey, your host. Thank you for joining us, America. Open phones at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. You jump in. We'll talk about your life and your money. Christy Wright, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. You jump in and we'll talk with you about your life and your money.

She, of course, talks with ladies all the time in all categories of life and was originally known for being the creator of Business Boutique, equipping women to make money doing what they love. Her latest bestseller is a devotional, 40 Days to Get Back to You, and it's called Living True. And so check that out as well. Again, we did a devotional. We didn't know it was going to be a bestseller, but it was.

Look at that. There you go. All right, CJ is with us in Denver to start off this hour. Hi, CJ. How are you? Hi, Dave. I'm good. How are you?

Better than I deserve. What's up? So I was just hoping to get your advice on a car situation. I bought a car eight months ago, ten months ago for cash, and the transmission is now going out. What did you pay for it? I paid $4,200 cash. What is it?

It's a 2011 Kia Rio. So I bought it with like 86,000 miles. Because based on my research, they're known to go into the hundreds of thousands of miles. So I figured it would be cheap. Kept me from, you know, getting a car alarm. And keep focusing on my baby step two. So what's the transmission doing? So it's not shifting. I took it into the dealership

and they told me it could go in a month or it could go in five years. There's no telling when it's going to go, but it's, they confirmed it's the early symptoms. It just, it doesn't, it doesn't know what gear to be in. So it shifts really hard from first in the second stop and go traffic in Denver. It will kind of glitch and almost, it almost feels like it's stalling out and then it catches. Um, so I'm going to drive it until it goes,

goes, but I don't know if I save to replace the transmission, which will be two to $3,000 or if I save to replace the car, which will be $2,000 to $3,000, or if I save to replace the car entirely. All right. Let's do a couple things. One is we need opinions and bids from people other than the dealer. The dealer is the most expensive place to get a car fixed. Okay.

So we need to find a quality independent mechanic in your area and go in, have them look at it and say this is uh what we do i mean tell me tell me what we've got to do here um uh you sound like you're single the way you're talking this through yes i am okay do you have family in the area no are you in a good church yes okay uh not because you're not capable but because sometimes people in uh car repair places will treat a lady differently than a man was that was that diplomatic it's just the truth i i would put a guy have a guy from the church or a guy from work just come hang out with you and just stand there while the guy is talking to you.

You can do all the talking. And that doesn't always happen, but you might get a different answer. And it's enough of a chance that I'm going to add that step to this, okay? Okay. And you're hearing me loud and clear. It's not because I think you're not going to add that step to this, okay? Okay. And you're hearing me loud and clear. It's not because I think you're not capable of getting to the bottom of this. I just want you to get the real story and not get somebody think they can take you, you know, take you. And so go get a couple of different people to look at it and give you a couple of different scenarios there you can do there's three possibilities brand new on the transmission rebuilt uh which is way less expensive than brand

new or worst case scenario and really might be a possibility here is to buy a transmission from a junkyard that comes out of a wrecked kia and they it. And that's probably going to be, you know, 25% to 30% of new price. Now, once you've gotten all those numbers, here's the formula that you use. You need one of the numbers. You need to try to figure out from somebody what you can sell that car for like it is right now. Okay? So you paid $4,200 for it.

It's got a bad transmission. They're going to drive it and they're going to go, oh, it a bad transmission so we will give you dot dot dot for it let's call that two thousand dollars okay if you can sell it as is for two thousand dollars and your repair is three thousand dollars that's five thousand dollars you're going to have in a thirty two in a forty two hundred dollar car we're not doing that we're going to have in a $4,200 car, we're not doing that. We're going to sell it as is, take the $2,000 and put some transmission money that you were going to spend on a transmission with it and buy another car. Do you follow me?

But if the sale as is is $500 and the repair is $1,500, then that gets you in there for $2,000, and at the end of this story, you've got a $4,000 car, then you would do that repair. So repair plus as-is value should not be more than $4,200 if it is sell the car as-is. Okay. You get the formula? Yep,200 if it is sell the car as is okay you get the formula yep i got it but you got it you in a car this cheap and this old you want to put the cheapest possible fix in it you do not want to this is not a you do not want to spend money on this fix you want the cheapest transmission even so like a kia that got in a car wreck and

totaled that had 20 000 miles on it they pull the transmission out of it at the junkyard salvage yard whatever phrase you want to use right and then they the local mechanics load sticks it in there for you um and now you got a 20 000 mile transmission in your car used transmission but that's going to be way cheaper, I think, than rebuilt, and I know way cheaper than new. The other step I would throw in there, CJ, is, and I'm sure you'll do this anyway, but just ask for referrals for those mechanics to begin with. Even if you take someone with you, ask for referrals because you're going to have a much

better chance of getting someone trusted, someone good, someone honest, someone that's going to tell you your options, shoot you straight, and not try to take advantage of you if you go from, oh, you've got a friend or family member, someone in your church says, hey, you've got to go to my guy down on this road because he's awesome, he's honest, I've gone to him for 20 years. That's who I use for my cards, someone that referred me and he's honest and I stick with them. If there's a guy at the church that's an elder or somebody at your workplace that's a person of strong character and they know that and they say what Christy said, then they don't need to go with you.

They can just call their guy and say, hey, I'm sending CJ down there. You take really good care of her. She's my little sister. I'm going to box your ears if you don't. Okay? That's the kind of – if you can get that kind of referral, then I'm fine with not taking somebody with you. But if you're going stranger to stranger, then, you know, let's just work this from every possible angle.

Can't hurt. Yeah, work this from every possible angle. And I think you're very capable of getting this done. I'll give you a prediction that you're going to sell the car as is and you're not going to fix it. But I want you to do the research to make sure I'm right because I'm not positive I'm right. And when you have all those numbers in front of you, you go, okay, I can sell the car today

for this. I can fix it for this, this, or this. The answer is going to be bing right there in front of you. Which one to do? And we gave you the formula on how to figure it out. You got this, kiddo. Thank you for calling. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Your number one wealth building tool is your income.

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Christy Wright, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Justin is in Philadelphia. Hi, Justin. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hey, Dave. How are you doing? Better than I deserve. What's up?

It's fun to get to my question. I just want to thank you for everything that you're putting out there. I found out about two years ago we were about $97,000 in debt, my wife and I. We're $8,000 away from paying that off. So probably around the springtime, it'll be. Way to go. Yeah. One of these days of my life, besides meeting my wife on the phone,

I'm going to be reaching out for that day to get here. Cool. So what brings me to my question is I have a state pension, and I can retire in about 12 years. And when I retire, I will get about $94,000 a year from that pension. Wow. My question is, how do I calculate that into my net worth? Because I hope in a few more years I can call you and Chris back

and tell you that I'm a millionaire. I love it. I hope you are. That years I can call you and Chris back and tell you that I'm a millionaire. I love it. I hope you are. That's the way to go. Well, I mean, there's kind of two answers to it. For purposes of the technical answer is it's not part of your net worth because it's not an asset. You don't own it. Okay?

But the real-world answer then, aside from the technical accounting answer, is that you're obviously going to get $94,000 a year off of it, so that's pretty cool, right? There's two possible ways if you just kind of want to track it for your own purposes. There's two possible ways you can look at that. Do they give you any kind of a cash value or a rollout number if you were to roll it over? Do you have a lump sum if you leave or anything like that that you can take? No, no. So if you leave after 10 years, you would get like 35%,

and then if you leave after 20 years, you get 50%, and then the max is 65% after 25 years. Okay. Okay, but that percentage is not the line is that the lump sum yes so you you would get that's of your income right base of your base salary yeah yeah okay all right no all right so that way doesn't work to calculate it um other than that we would be guessing uh i can give you a method to kind of guess at it so you're going to get 94,010 more years if you did that at uh seven percent uh that that would that would probably mean that you had a million five in there okay if you had a million five invested

at seven percent it would create 94 000 a year okay roughly i'm i'm doing this in my heads but that's pretty close all right and so uh if you wanted to calculate what it's worth today you would ask yourself you'd have to put into an investment calculator what a million five is a future value, 7% and 10 years. And ask the investment calculator what the present value of that is. And that's going to be $600,000, $700,000 is about what it's worth today. Okay. So that's a guess. But that's the formula you would use if you really want to back into it because most of their calculations are going to be done at either 6% or 7%.

So if you're getting 94, that's like having a lump sum that's paying you 94 on 7%, but that's not for 10 more years. So it's got to grow to that, and at 7%, it'll double about every 10 years. Well, I actually estimated up to retirement, it's going to be about 94. That's not what it is now. If I retire now, it would be about... No, I'm saying if you retire in 10 years, it would be 94. Correct, yes, yes.

And if you calculate that on 7%, that means that would... In order to create $94,000 income at 7%, you'd need a million five or so. Okay. Now, would you do anything extra for investment purposes? Yes. A 457B. Yes. I would do a couple of Roth IRAs is what I would do on you and your wife and be loading those up as you go.

So you've got some money that's not just in the pension because you don't have any control over this pension, how good it does, whether they keep a solvent, you know, it's a state well run. Most of them aren't well run. Most of them aren't in trouble in terms of losing your pension, but they're really, most of them do a pretty crummy job of running the thing. So, you know, all of that to say I want some money in my name that I'm controlling in addition to this. It's a wonderful benefit if it all comes out the way it's supposed to.

And it probably will, actually. So, good stuff, man. Thanks for calling in. That was fun watching you do that. I was just sitting here, I was like, okay. And his mind is just calculating these percentages right here in real time.

And I may be off. I may be way off. Someone get me a calculator. I think I was getting pretty close. I think I was getting close. All right. Open phones at

888-825-5225. Jason's in Spokane. Hi, Jason. How are you? Good. Hi, Dave and Christy. Thanks for taking my call. Sure.

How can we help? So my wife and I are on baby step seven, and we have no debt, including our house. I've got three rental properties that are also paid for. Way to go. Wow. Thank you. We've got about $140,000 extra, which is in my real estate rental business. And I don't want to take on any debt to buy another property, but it's just kind of sitting

there. And our market here right now is so tight that I'm not interested in buying anything to flip. I want to buy something for rental, but I don't want to take on debt to do it. So the 140 is just sitting stagnating. I'm not sure really what to do with it and looking for some advice to invest it and maybe help it grow or what to do with it. When you said you're not interested in taking on another rental property, not ever or just not right now because it's just 140? No, I want to keep buying rentals, but I want to pay cash for it. So I don't want to use the 140 as a down payment right right now what's a what's a rental cost in your area uh i guess a decent one that's not a fixer it's going to be around 350 300 to 350 okay all right

so we got a little ways to go to add to that 140, and it'd be nice if it was growing during that time is all we're saying, right? Yeah. Yeah, that's exactly how I do it. And what I use is an S&P 500. It's a growth stock mutual fund, but it's very predictable. It's going to do exactly what the stock market does. You know what an S&P 500 index fund is? I do.

Okay. No load, so there's no commission. And if this money sits in there over a year, whatever gains there are will be taxed at your capital gains rate of 15%, not ordinary income. So will that be treated any differently? Because that money is held in a business account? And can a business invest in a mutual fund separately and is that treated any differently?

Yes. Well, now, it's in a business account, but it's an LLC, isn't it? That's right. Yeah. You can pass that out to you personally, drop it into the account, and put it in your name. And then when you pull it back out of that account to fund the LLC buying rentals, you'll be just fine. And that'll keep you from getting taxed.

You don't want to run the LLC on the capital gains, I don't think. Check your tax advisor, but I don't think so. I pull it out, do it personally, and then I throw it back into an LLC to fund the purchase is what I do. Hey, man, thanks for the call. Well done. Yeah. open phones at 888-825-5225 well 2020 was crazy and your 2020 taxes may be a bit more complicated because of that if you drew unemployment at any point last year, keep in mind you have to pay taxes on it this year.

Unemployment checks are taxable income. Another big thing to keep in mind is remote working. If you left your resident state to remote work in another state, you may have to pay state taxes to two states. It's not always the case, but you've got to have somebody help you figure that out so you don't get caught sideways with these guys. So you may want to use our new tax software if you have a simple return, Ramsey Smart Tax. And it's pretty stinking incredible. $17 will help you do your whole filing. Brand new.

We just launched that this week. And so if you've got a simple return, that's what you do. But if you've got crazy stuff going on in a crazy year, you may want a pro doing your taxes for you. So either way, you can text TAXQUIZ to find out what's going on with your tax situation to 33789. Take our tax quiz. That's TAXQUIZ, spaces, 233-789. Jean is with us in Lexington, Kentucky. Hi, Jean. How are you? Hi, Dave. Thanks for taking my call.

Sure. I have a question. I'm going to receive a nice inheritance, approximately $175,000. I would like to keep this in my name so that my children can be the beneficiaries. I'd also like to hold it in case my mother needs more money for her care in the next couple years. And I'd like to keep this just private in that my husband doesn't know a lot about this. What would you suggest I do? Jean, we got to dig into that. Why?

Why do we not want the husband to know? Just a precarious relationship. There's never been any respect for my family, and I really don't want him to have any part of this should it happen. So, you know, that's the way it is. Been that way for a long time. How long have you been married? Over 50 years okay um

i don't think it is i don't think it is healthy to hide things from spouses i don't think it's healthy for you i don't think it's healthy for him if you want to set it aside where uh he doesn't have any access to it, that's very possible. And, you know, not telling him about it, that's not good. That's deceiving, and you don't want to be that person. And I'm not going to participate in helping you do that because I think that's wrong. I know that. going to be that person and i'm not going to participate in helping you do that because i think that's wrong but um i know oh that i just knew that um um you know i don't think he would let me handle it or you know have it he doesn't have a choice in my yeah this this language is what's concerning gene i mean i know y' you've been married a long time, and it sounds like there's been layers of problems for a long time,

but he won't let me with this money that you're getting for your family. How old are you? I don't. How old are you? I'm over 70. Okay. All right. Well, what I would tell you to do is to contact an estate planning attorney and talk about how you can put this into a trust of some kind that you are in control of. And it's really not up to him. He doesn't have a let you part in this, except that he emotionally rules over you it sounds like

um but you know what this is pointing out is that you don't have a precarious relationship you have a horrible relationship that's what this is pointing out you don't trust your husband and you don't feel safe with him yeah i mean that's that's not trying to exaggerate it but you don't feel safe to tell him something that is happening in your life. And for fear that he's going to, quote, take over. He's not going to let you take care of your mom or your kids. From a legal and an account perspective, he doesn't really have control. It comes, the check would come to you.

You open up an account. You set it in a trust. You can put it in a simple bank account if you want to. But it's in your name. He has absolutely no access to it. Now, you're going to want to be sure you have a will so that the money goes to your children, as you said, and that he doesn't get any control of it. And that's one of the reasons to set it up as a trust.

Then the trust can transfer to your children um and there's you know it's almost impossible for him to break into that with a will if you have a will and a trust and the money's in trust and it's you know you're the trustee it's in control you're in control of it or somebody's the trustee you're the beneficiary whatever however your estate planner tells you to set it up but you need to go see an estate planning attorney and you're going to spend three to five thousand dollars on documents a will a trust and you're going to get some legal advice on how to do this uh in a way where it all stays in your name where you're in complete control of it but he doesn't have any legal access to this money unless you give it to him. And so, but honey, you got other stuff going on here.

There's a lot of fish frying on this one discussion. And, you know, this is not really about the $175,000. This is about the quality of your life. Well, that's what I was going to ask. Would you recommend counseling? I mean, they've been married 50 years. Like, it's kind of like, not like it's's too far gone, but it's like, do you think he would even be open to? I have no idea.

I mean, it couldn't hurt. Right. It couldn't hurt. To your point, I mean, you don't need to live your life this way, Gene. You don't need to live in fear, whether it's about an inheritance conversation or anything. You don't need to live like that. There needs to be these issues i would love to see you get help with them get him to get help with them yeah doesn't matter if you've been married if you're in a good church you ought to sit down

with your pastor and have this discussion yeah with or without him yeah and and then but as far as the you know uh you shouldn't have from a legal perspective, he has absolutely no access to the money unless you give it to him, if you do what I'm talking about. Now, if you just go open up a bank account, you know, you can get into all kinds of different issues then. So I'm going to say, let's put it into trust, and let's have a will, and then that'll dictate what happens to the money. Yeah, Gene, I would, yeah. If there's something you didn't say where you don't want to tell him because you're scared to tell him, you need to have some help, some support through this. If there's something where you're scared to tell him for other reasons,

you need to have some extra support through this. Amen. In case there's something you didn're scared to tell them for other reasons. You need to have some extra support through this. Amen. In case there's something you didn't say. Yeah, absolutely. So, yeah, you need to sit down with your pastor this week, and let's get some people around you and figure out what the flip's really going on here. Ouch.

Joel is with us in Omaha, Nebraska. Hi, Joel. How are you? Hey, I'm doing good. Thanks. Thanks for having me, Dave and Christine. Pleasure. Sure. How can we help? Hey, I'm a self-employed carpenter contractor in a small rural community. I started this business about four years ago, and so far, I haven't hired any employees. I'm just looking for some advice or wisdom on making that jump. I'm sorry, say that again.

He's trying to decide whether to hire employees in his carpentry business. Yeah. And hiring the first one. Yeah. Are you maxed out? What's the demand like right now? What's your business like? It fluctuates with the seasons, of course.

But physically, I know I can't do that by myself forever. But on the other hand, I've got a small market, so I don't know. Emotionally, hiring your first employee is the hardest, and financially it's the hardest. And obviously, whatever you're going to pay this person you need to have some money stashed back to make sure you can honor your word and that the paycheck's clear and on top of that you need to be looking at it and say if i'm going to pay this person you know thirty thousand dollars a year i gotta make more than thirty thousand dollars a year extra because they're around and that's called a return on investment on your payroll.

And so that's the hardest one to do is the first one. The second one's easier. The third one's easier. The fourth one's easier. And so on. Because, you know, you get better at the whole process. This is the Dave Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225.

So we took the call about the gentleman wanting to hire his first team members, but I'm still stuck with the 70-plus-year-old lady in Lexington who is in, obviously, a very dysfunctional marriage yeah been married 50 years yeah like this is not like this is a new thing yeah and and i think um so anytime i can find somebody that is in a a bad, particularly late in life. What I want to learn from that, if I'm in this audience listening to this, is how to not end up there. Like, I mean, if you talk to somebody who's in their 70s, they have zero money.

It's a bad situation. Right. They're living off Social Security, social insecurity, right? Starving to death. because that's no picnic then i want to learn how not to be that person so how do you not end up there yeah where she is yeah you know i think what's interesting and you've talked about this before in any area of life life choices that type of thing i don't think it's this um i don't think it's an overnight thing i don't think it's one of those things it's some tragedy or some you flip a switch it's by degrees by degrees we make bad choices by degrees we settle by degrees we compromise by degrees we let someone have power

over us by degrees we let things go don't set boundaries don't communicate by degrees and you wake up one day i'm just guessing here on this call, for example. And you make a statement that sounds totally normal to you. I can't tell him because he won't let me do that with my money. And that sounds normal to you. Because by degrees, over 50 years, there have become these grooves in your relationship of what has been allowed, what has been acceptable, what has been permitted, that you are in this very unhealthy dynamic, very unhealthy roles. But I don't think it started that way.

I don't think they were like that when they walked down the aisle. I wouldn't imagine, you know. But, you know, some things, you know, your wealth, your health, your relationships, your leadership, your business, your career, there is no such thing as status quo nothing stays the same it is growing or it's dying and typically if it's growing it's a matter of you've been intentional about it if it's dying it's because you you know your garden if your garden is full of weeds it's because you let it go no one said oh let's intentionally fill the garden full of weeds right but you just let it go right you didn't you didn't

do anything if you want a a beautiful rose garden you know you've got to put the manure down you got it you got to do the trimmings you got it you got to do the cuttings you have to uh prune the dead wood away and you have to weed and so a series of constant incremental intentional acts cause you to grow and become better and better and better and better in a given area of your life or relationships not doing that it just deteriorates. So as you said, it didn't start out in the place she is. But, you know, so what I want folks to take from that call is we used to have a guy work here. He said sometimes people like that are an anti-mentor. They're the opposite of a mentor. This is what not to do.

Okay, so what not to do is to 35 years ago not have dealt with it whatever it is right and um you know it because you know i you know i'll just i'm just not gonna worry about it well then your guards are gonna have weeds do you think there's something do you think there's a generational thing i'm sure there's a value thing with this maybe it's personality style whatever where it's this idea of like i'm going to sweep it under the rug because that's the be the bigger person i'm going to take the higher ground it's the polite southern godly christian thing to do i've told matt before when we have conversation like i don't sweep anything under the rug my rug is clean you can lift it up anytime because i just air things all like i'm very open communicator but i think some people think that that's the open communication is almost offensive where it's like

well let's just sweep it under the rug let it go that type of thing but your rug builds up if you just sweep things under the rug for years and years and years you get to the point where you've got so much built up resentment and such an unhealthy dynamic because you didn't to your point deal with things when they were happening, and it becomes very unhealthy. Well, we talk about, and you help teach this too when we're teaching in Entree Leadership, is with a team member that's misbehaving or that is not performing or whatever, if you, in the name of being nice, sweep it under the rug, don't deal with it, eventually it's going uh you know it's

going to explode because it's going to get bad enough that that and you finally get so frustrated they don't even know you're frustrated right that you just walk in mad and fire them didn't you tell didn't you tell us every one time that you got fired you still don't know why yeah i did i probably deserved it dig into that i probably deserved it you know yeah but into that. I probably deserved it, you know? Yeah. But I'll never know. The guy's dead now. It was a long time ago. It was just out of college, you know? Yeah.

But he just walked in and cussed at me and threw a box on my table and said, get your blankety blank stuff and blankety out of here. And I'm like, what'd I do? You don't even want to know. Just get out of here. And I'm just like, my God, man. Well, I don't know. I still don't know.

But I know he's a jerk i know that part but i i but that doesn't mean i wasn't right that doesn't mean i didn't deserve it but the point is you let things build up and so we always use the saying when you're dealing with team members or in and it applies in these other other parts of this discussion too to be unclear is to be unkind to not uh deal with whatever there is there and put it out there and go this is this is what's going on yeah and this is the way this is what i would say to anybody listening right now that they is something's coming to mind whether it's in their marriage or in their job or whatever and they're going oh yeah i really you know i really hate that i don't even want to deal with

it i don't face it fast forward 30 years what's that gonna look like if you don't you know what i mean that it's not gonna go away it's not gonna magically things don't magically just get better they get better with a lot of hard work and intentionality it was kind of like what you're talking about a minute ago because there's this gap between our intentions that we have and the outcomes that we get and what fills the gap is discipline or not you're either working on it and growing like the garden example or it's dying. And so if you don't have

that intentional discipline to act on your intentions, not just, oh, I know I should read a book. Oh, I know I should go to counseling. Oh, I know I should work. No one does anything. It's not the thought that counts.

It's what you do that counts that leads to the outcomes. If I intend to send my wife flowers and I don't, I get no credit for that. Sharon is not bragging about what you thought about doing for her

and y'all's anniversary. It's what you actually do that counts. This is reminding me because Sharon Palusa is coming up. Her birthday is in, our first date was in February. Her birthday is in February and so is Valentine's Day. So February is pretty much Sharon Palusa. Get it together. I better get my act together.

I better get some stuff going right now. It's not the thought that counts. Yeah. It's what you do. It's the thought that counts. No, it's not. No, it's not. Nobody cares what you thought about doing.

I intended to send you flowers. You get no credit for that. No. I intended to dot, dot, dot. You get no credit for that. You're not bragging about what your kids thought about getting on the report card. No. It's what they actually get.

And so I think there's a great message here. There's a great message of this intentionality. You know, I'll give you a real, a true story example. So the beginning of this year, Dave, Matt and I sat down. We worked on all of our goals. What are our priorities for the year? What do we want to focus on? What are the trips we want to take?

You know, who do we want to be? How do we want to just improve individually and separate, whatever? Well, one of the things I wrote down, this is me being real honest right now. I just want to be kinder. You know, I want want to be kinder. You know, I want to be just kinder in general. I want to practice kindness. And so- Not me.

I'm going to add that to your- Kelly's like, really? I'm going to add that to your list for you when you're not looking. Okay, all right. So I wrote this down. So true story. I wrote this down and I'm like,

yes, this is my intention, okay? I want to be kinder and here's the things. Here's what we're're gonna focus on. So next day I was getting so frustrated about something and I just felt like the anger rising. It was something at the house, something with the kids. And I found myself just like getting real frustrated and I felt the Lord stirring me. Are you just going to think about being kinder or are you going to actually take this moment to practice doing what you said you wanted to do?

Are you going to give up your right to be right do are you going to give up your right to be right are you going to give up your right to be angry and instead of stomping downstairs and having a big fit about whatever you think you have the right to be meta are you going to actually do something about what you said you're going to do and it was like this moment of because in in in theory everything sounds good but in real life of having to walk out some of the things having to deal with those things that were sweeping under under the rug, act out kindness. It's hard. It's hard.

But that's what produces the results. That's what produces the marriage. That's what produces the outcome. So project the current trajectory of that section of your life out 50 years and see where it's taking you. You may need some adjustments. I think we all might. That's my reminder from that. That's the reminder I got out of that.

The anti-mentor. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. Hey, it's Kelly, associate producer and phone screener for The Dave Ramsey Show. This episode is over, but if you heard about an event, product, or service and didn't have a chance to write it down, don't worry. We list everything you've heard about during this episode in the podcast show notes section or head over to DaveRamsey.com and click Dave Recommends. Thanks for listening.