The Ramsey Show - App - I Work a Job Where I Don't Feel I Have a Purpose (Hour 2)

Episode Date: April 30, 2021

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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studio, this is The Ramsey Show. It's where America hangs out to have a conversation about your life, your money, your relationships, winning, being who you were created to be. I'm Ken Coleman, host of The Ken Coleman Show on the Ramsey Network, and I'm joined by my colleague Anthony O'Neill, host of The Table with Anthony O'Neill on the Ramsey Network, and we are your hosts this hour. 888-825-5225, 888-825-5225, AO, always good to be with you. Tell these people why doing work you love allows them to make more money, in your opinion.

I talk about this all the time. I want to know what you think about it. Well, I'm not as polished and expertise in this area as you are, man. You're an expert in it. You've done it. Hey, man. I think for me, when you are doing the work that you're passionate about, you put more energy behind it. You put more effort into it.

And when you put more energy and effort into it, if you're in a career space at a corporate America, your bosses will see you and elevate you and give you more opportunities. So I think for me, when you love what you do, it's evidence in your work. The money follows. Yes. And the right amount of money. It doesn't always have to be more money than anybody else. And that's why the baby steps coincide with the seven stages of meaningful work. So we're going to take some work questions.

If you're not happy, Ayo and I can weigh in on this. He's been in leadership at a large, large megachurch. He understands the dynamics. We'll also talk about your money. We'll talk relationships. My man's single over here. So when you talk about being single and money, he can bring it. So we'll take your questions about life, money, whatever angle you want to come at it,

888-825-5225. Let's go to Columbus, Ohio, where Adriana is on the line. Adriana, how can we help? Hi. Hi. I was calling because I purchased a new vehicle about two years ago now for a total of, I believe, $13,000 or $14,000, one of those. I still owe $11,000 on the vehicle, but my car note is extremely high. It's like $360 a month. So I have tried refinancing through a couple of companies,

and I just get generic denials even though my credit has improved over 200 points since I originally got the loan for the car. So I have gotten some suggestions that maybe I should consider selling and getting a cheaper vehicle, paying off the rest or whatever. But right now I feel kind of like my hands are tied. I've still got

two years to go on the loan and I would like to be rid of it ASAP. How much money are you making, Adriana? What's your yearly income? $36,000. $36,000. $36,000. Okay, cool. What do you do for a living? Construction

and call center manager. Okay. Okay, call center manager. Okay, cool beans. Any other debt outside of this car? Like student loans, credit cards? Nope. Okay, so the only debt that you have is this $11,000 on a car

which is about $360 a month. Yes. What's the Blue Book value on it? Have you looked it up? I'm believing $9,000 maybe. And you owe $11,000? Yeah. Okay.

Do you have any money in the savings right now? Maybe like nothing extreme like $2,000. Okay, $2,000. How old are you, Adriana? I'm 24. 24. You're a young lady.

Okay, cool beans. I like this. I like you calling and asking the question. Let me ask you this question too. Why do you want to refi? You want a lower payment? Yes, basically to free up some extra money because I am also a single mother. And yeah, I would like to have more money in the month.

How many kids do you have? Just one. Cool, great. Here's the thing. When it comes to refinancing, Adriana, I don't teach refinancing. We don't teach refinancing to get a lower payment so you can stay in debt longer. We teach refi so you can get a lower interest rate so you're not paying as much penalties. But your payment still is going to be as high as it possibly can so you can get out of debt quicker.

So the the solution to your problem is not refinancing. It's getting out of the car. If you're saying that you're living uncomfortably right now, that, you know, just paying $360 a month right now, which $36,000 a year means you're bringing home about maybe $28,000 to $29,000 a year. I can understand that. And so right now, if you have $2,000 in your savings, right now, you really need to talk

to Ken because we got to get your income up for one. We got to get that shovel bigger because even if you sold the car today how do we pay cash how much money and how much time would it take for you to save up cash to go buy a cash vehicle to free up to 360 a month and so my suggestion to you is not trying to refi to get down to 150 payment because you're just going to be in debt a lot longer, and you're going to pay so much more for this car than what it's actually worth. So your number one thing is get out of the car, get yourself a bigger, and go buy a cash car. Yeah, and I think we can get you out of this pretty quick. Ayo is exactly right.

So let's just walk through some possibilities. Let's try to create a plan based on your reality. Could you work a second job without, you know, creating too much more expense on child care? Could you do that if it is additional 15 hours a week or something like that? What's realistic for you? I could, potentially. I wouldn't necessarily say a second job, but I'm sure I can put some pressure to my commissions. Okay, so that's my point. So how much, and you don't have to answer this on the air, but I think the question you've got to answer before Monday, give you a couple days, you know, you're kind of walking

through this and kind of go before the next week starts, how much more money do I feel comfortable that I can create in my budget? Okay? And so what happens is, let's say, let's just run some round numbers. All right. Let's say that you could make an additional 500 a month. All right. And I'm talking net. So after taxes, let's say you could put an additional 500 a month towards that car. You've got 2000 in savings right now. So if you walk the baby steps out, okay. Baby step one is a thousand dollars. You've got 2000. So if you walk the baby steps out, okay, baby step one is $1,000. You've

got $2,000. So you could put $1,000 on the car today. So that takes it now to, I owe $10,000. Let's say that you could put $500 a month. And so let's say for four months, okay, you're just looking at the numbers, four or five months, and you're knocking that down several thousand dollars more. All right. So you go from $10,000 to in a couple, four months, and I could do it down to $8,000. And then if I, oh, I say, ooh, I'm making some ground here. And if I keep hustling a little bit longer, I get this down to $4,000. Let's say it's worth $9,000. You said it was worth $9,000.

You sell it, okay? You got $5,000 cash to go buy a decent car that will take care of you and your child. And guess what just happened? The $360 payment that you wanted to refinance goes to zero. I think that's what we want to see you do. Hustle. See if you can get some help with the child care. It doesn't cost you any money because you're casting a vision, A.O.

You're saying, hey, I'm going to bust it for six, seven, eight months trying to make as much money as I can to where I can sell that car and still buy something. Now you're free. Absolutely. Truly debt free. I love it. Watch you pile the money up. You've got this.

I love single mothers, AO. They're the strongest people on the planet. You can do this. Yes. This is the Ramsey Show. If current times have shown us anything, it's that the least expected events can and will happen, and we have to deal with it. That's why everyone who has a family counting on them needs term life insurance. For over 20 years, the only company I've recommended is Zander Insurance. Not only because they search all of the top term life plans to find you the best rates, but over the

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Thrilled to have you with us. I'm Ken Coleman, joined by my colleague, Anthony O'Neill, and we are taking your questions. 888-825-5225. You want to talk money? You want to talk your work and moving up in your career or making a switch? We are here for you.

888-825-5225 is the number. Chelsea is up next in Fayetteville, Arkansas. Chelsea, how can we help? Hey, so my 16-year-old is starting her first job this week, and the two of us have been trying to go over her budget. And so we are wondering if you could give us some tips on, like, what percentages to go where. Her and I are kind of butting heads about it because I'm the nerd, and I'm like, match your 401K, do your retirement. And she's like, I'm 16.

What are you talking about? Well, I kind of see both sides of this ao yeah i really do i really do what would you do man you you are a father well yeah i'll tell you so in this situation uh she's 16 and and so um i want uh her to get the basics but she doesn't have many expenses i don't know what you're requiring for her to pay what So let me walk you through because I know this. I'm going to make my kid pay for his gas. Right. Right.

I'll cover insurance. Right. You know, but he's going to pay for gas. What are you making her pay? What expenses does she have that are hers? Well, so up until this point, we have not made her pay insurance or car or gas because she's had a $10 a week allowance until this point. And now she's making $13 an hour working about 15 hours a week.

How many hours a week? About 15. Okay, gotcha. And so you want her putting money into a 401k account? Well, I mean, my goal, if I had my way, would be 10% to giving the match, whatever the company match is, 6% for a 401k, and then the rest of her savings would just go into a savings account for if she wants to buy a car. Sure, I get it. And what is she pushing back on?

She is pushing back on the total percentage of savings. What does she want to save? She wants to save maybe 20%. And you want her to save how much? What I would love would be to see 40%. And that's what we do with her allowance right now. 10% goes to tithing, 40% goes to savings. I get it.

And she's on board with the tithing, correct? Yes, she is. I get it. And she's on board with the tithing, correct? Yes, she is. Okay, great. So, Ayo, you can speak to the budget and the formulas, but as a father, I'm not going to let this be a big battle. I'm not going to die on the hill versus of 20%. She's willing to save 20%. You want her to save 40%.

I'm going to go, I think you should save more and here's why but this is your money it's your job if you think 20 is the right number okay and chill out mom you're practically driving a stake in the ground for her on 20 by i just don't think i'd fight that hey yo i really wouldn't either um and i definitely want to say uh chelsea your heart is such a it's just so amazing that you you want to teach your daughter how to win financially there's three things that i teach when it comes to young people how to give how to save and how to spend give save spend give give you 10 to your local church or give to you know to the needy needy uh teach our young people how to have a generous heart so you're already doing that with their local church then not that

it's safe um i agree uh with the saving part as far as in 401ks and i see that but what i didn't hear and correct me and and make sure you tell me this here my this i didn't hear anything about saving for college saving for her first car saving for prom saving for you know things that she's going to be experiencing um i heard save 401k they're going to do a match save for this save for that that's cool that's great but let's make sure that we're also teaching her to save for the things that she's going to have to experience and saving for college is more important than saving in a 401k saving to contribute towards her first car even if you all have the means to pay for her first car is more important than contributing to a roth ira that's correct and so i would definitely teach that part

have that conversation let her get into some part of ownership of her life and then spend let her enjoy her money you know because she's working hard for it let her go out there and and and and you know get her hair done get her nails done and buy something cute so when she goes to school you know her girl's like girl i like that new hair you know i mean so you got to figure it out you know give save spend so those are the three things there's really not a percentage um that we teach we just want to teach the overall method then as she gets older then of course we'll dive deeper into but right now at 16 those are the three things you should be teaching her and i just say one last thing mom and this coming from, I'm figuring this out right now with a 15 and 13 and 12. Learn how to coach a little bit. And the way you coach is you let them go out and try that sport, right? And then you give them some notes

and you say, let's go out and play and then let's teach you how to do the fundamentals. So, you know, let her come up with a plan as she begins to make the money and then spend the money and save the money. Then you kind of coach a little bit after you've watched it. You don't expect a kid when they try a new sport or learn a new instrument to just get it right away. What do you do? You let them practice. You let them play it.

And it is the act of practicing and playing and performing by which they really learn how to do it. And I would just take a chill-out approach and let them feel that responsibility and the sting, by the way, of making a bad purchase. Because right now is the time. If I want my kid making a dumb purchase, it's when they're 16. Yes. And they're not homeless, and if they run out of money, I go, great, you're not going anywhere this weekend because you can't put gas in your car.

But it's not a crisis. I think it think it's hard for i'm struggling with this i i seem to admit on the air i'm a control freak as a parent i'm learning how not to be but it's because of our fears and coma's a control freak yeah well i know that's no surprise to you but you know but it's like hey you know i gotta let them learn ao you do and see you've come at it from a youth pastor like you've been partnering with parents and going, oh, we don't want them to make any mistakes at all because we don't want them to suffer any pain. And yet, it is that pain, albeit very small for a 16-year-old financially, that actually teaches the best lesson. And you're absolutely right, Kent. I am not a parent, so I'm not a parent personality, but I spent 10 years of my life

being a big brother to thousands and thousands of young people. And one of the biggest things that I saw wrong within homes, again, not as a parent, but as a youth pastor, was parents forced their kids to do something. And then I think the problem is when you force them to live this lifestyle, the moment they become free, they want to leave that lifestyle. Rachel says it's best. More is caught than taught. And I believe more is caught than forced. And so it's like, hey, just just give your kids that option. Give your kids the opportunity to say yes and to say no.

And when they say no, just OK, cool, great. You're going to fall in my house. I'm going to let you fall and feel a little bit of that pain. And while I'm helping you get back up, I'm going to educate you on why you fail and why you feel the pain. And then when they feel that pain up underneath loving up underneath wisdom up up underneath care more than likely they're not going to want to feel that pain again true story so i know we're about to go to break here but i remember man i was uh like three four years old and my parents used to always tell me don't touch the stove don't touch the stove well one day i went to touch the stove my dad saw me going to touch the stove so he let me walk towards the stove

went inside of the refrigerator took out the butter followed me to the stove so he let me walk towards the stove went inside of the refrigerator took out the butter followed me to the stove and as soon as i went up there to touch the stove my dad already had some butter in his hand and before i can even really scream as soon as i touched it he grabbed my hand rubbed the butter on my hand and i'm looking at my dad that hurt and he said do you see why i told you to not touch the stove while i am in pain while my dad is educating me and while he's making sure that i am okay you know to this day as a grown man i do not want to touch the stove i'm sure you know because it's like i i know what it feels like but i know what it feels like because my father allowed me to feel the pain up beneath his care wisdom and judgment and I think that's what parents

need to do be willing to allow your kids to feel a little bit while you're there to educate them because if they feel it in the world with no education they'll keep doing it folks that right there that'll teach and that'll preach. And it works. Good stuff, A.O. I feel like I didn't call your dad during the commercial break. Tell him how awesome that is. Seriously, as a dad, I'm going, man, that's beautiful.

That's so, so good. Love it. Tell you what else I love. More of your calls, and they're coming up. This is The Ramsey Show. I'm Ken Coleman. I'm joined by my colleague, Anthony O'Neill. And our colleague, Dr. John Deloney, is

in the control room. He has found his way to the control room, and he's he came to talk to Anthony O'Neill about the topic we were talking about in a previous hour, about how much money you should spend on the first date. You said

$50. And this is the reason why John Delaney is not a money personality, because he said I should spend $1,000. He did not say that. You two will be on air together soon, and James, we will let them continue that ongoing debate in a future Ramsey show. All right. Hey, when it comes to making big money or life moves like buying

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All right, 888-825-5225. That's the number. Let's go to Kayla, who joins us in Louisville, Kentucky. Kayla, how can we help? Hi, guys. Thank you for taking my call. You bet. What's up?

So my husband and I, we have been married for almost a year, and we bought a home, and we needed to renovate it. And so we loaned $50,000 from my husband's father to kind of finance the renovation. Hey, Kayla. Kayla, I'm sorry to interrupt. If you could try to get that phone and hold it right on your mouth, you're coming in and out, and it's making it hard for us to hear your question. Could you start over and try that? Yes.

I'm sorry. Is this better? A little bit. Let's see how it goes. Okay. So my husband and I, we bought a home about a year ago, and we financed our renovations through his father, and we borrowed about $50,000 from him and I have in some mutual funds about $54,000

should we cash out those mutual funds to pay his dad off or should we just continue to make payments to his dad and just let that money kind of sit in the mutual fund? Man, borrowing money from family let that money kind of sit in the mutual fund. Oh, man.

Whew. Man, borrowing money from family is, to me, that's worse than borrowing money from the bank. Are you feeling pressure from him to get it sooner? Is that why you're considering using your mutual fund? Which, by the way, the answer is unequivocally no, you're not going to touch your mutual fund. You're not going to pay him back that way. Let's get that out of the way.

I'm just curious why you're even thinking about that. We are kind of trying to do the debt snowball, and our mortgage is the last thing that we owe money on. And so we weren't really sure if his loan to his dad qualified as part of our mortgage. So we were just trying to get that paid off so we could say, okay, we're done with that. Yeah. Let me ask you this question. What other kind of debt do you have right now? We just have our mortgage and that.

We owe him about $40,000 we've made. We're making about $2,000 a month payments to him. What's your household income? So that's all we have. We make about $100,000. That's combined? Yes. Okay, cool, great. And then you only owe him about $40,000

from what you're saying, correct? Right. Cool. How much money do you have in your savings right now? We have about $10,000, $10,000 or $12,000. Okay, $10,000 or $12,000. Okay, cool, great. So one thing that Ken said earlier,

which, uh, there's, there's different kinds of mutual funds. You have mutual funds that are covered in retirement. It's like via, uh, like a Roth IRA or traditional IRA,

um, that is covered and invested into a growth stock mutual fund. And then you have mutual funds that are not covered with retirement. So to be clear, are these mutual funds covered from in retirement or are they just regular mutual funds standing on their own? These are just regular mutual funds. They were actually, it was actually funds that my parents had like saved for me growing up. Okay, so they're not your 401k retirement stuff and Roth.

Yeah, we have separate like Roth IRAs for that. Oh, okay. All right, well, correct me on that one then. Yeah, it's good. It's good IRAs for that. Oh, okay. All right, well, correct me. Correct me on that one, then. Yeah, it's good. It's good. It's good. Team players here.

That's why we're both here. Yeah, I assumed those were retirement accounts, so let me clear that up. Yeah. So we would not want you to touch your retirement because you're going to take a tax hit on that. Exactly. But if these are separate from retirement, which you've cleared up, then yes, you can do that. For an example, because I actually put money into a mutual fund now to say to build up my dream home. And so whenever I get into that season, I will I will pull from that. And that's OK.

And so for yourself here, here's what I'm going to recommend. I'm going to say you have two options here. You could take the 12K and put that towards your dad's stuff right now. Or you can go ahead and cash out the mutual fund and pay off your debt entirely and keep the $10,000 inside of that. If I'm you, I'm going to cash out my mutual fund and go ahead and pay off my debt entirely and keep the emergency fund there of the $10,000 to $12,000 a month right there. Not a month, but the $10,000 to $12,000 in my savings account. So that way you can get out of debt. You all are 100% debt free and all the money that you have now is going towards building your wealth. You're investing it into your 401ks and into your Roth IRAs and even into your kids' college

future down the road. So that's what I would do. I wouldn't play with it. I would go ahead and just pay off my dad, pay off my father-in-law, and keep on moving. Yeah, good stuff there. You cringed when she started the call and said, I borrowed money from her. We did borrow money from my father-in-law. There's a deeper issue there. Yeah, I mean, borrowing money, period, is a no-go. And we've all made that mistake. But with family members, man, you know, i've had to tell family members in my own

family no i can't i can't loan you that money uh because if i can't afford to give it to you i just can't afford to give it to you at all loan it to you at all um because i've i've seen within even within my own family money it just it just doesn't do it doesn't go well yeah um so friends family members if i cannot give it to you i i just i won't do it and and honestly man growing up in my young 20s before i started this philosophy man i've i've i've i don't have current relationships right now right because how i did them right without giving them back their money on time so and that's why you're and that's why you're going let's go ahead and cash out the non-retirement mutual funds because we're going to get that relationship.

We're going to take care of that, not let that fester. Right. Yeah, I get it. Right. Yeah, it makes a lot of sense. It makes a lot of sense. Yeah, because it's one of those things where it's like you never know. She didn't really directly answer.

You don't know if it's getting sour. She kind of said, hey, we want to knock it out, which I get. But bottom line is that it is something that they can actually do and save that potential tension. Yes. And that's good. Yeah. My mic went out there for a minute. Oh, you're good, man. Yeah, you're good.

Yeah. And I think that that's important, too, because it's like we all have these opportunities to maybe make some progress if we get money from family. Because it feels right. Yeah. Right? So, okay, now I can make some progress here. Yeah. I can jump ahead, and all I got to do is, well, I'm not getting it from a bank.

Right? Yeah. And so it feels right, but that's a trap. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. And it feels good. It's better. I get it from my mom, my dad, my brother, my sister.

Oh, they'll forgive me if I don't pay. No, man. No, no. Listen. No, no. That's not the case. it's better i get it from my mom my dad my brother my sister oh they'll forgive me if i don't pay no man no no listen no no that's not the case and so for me just borrowing money period man don't do it from family and don't loan family money and in her situation anyone listening right now if you have the means of paying it off for the love of your family for the sake of your family pay it off for the love of your family, for the sake of your family. Pay it off. Yeah. Bottom line. Yeah.

Cleans it all up. Yes. Everybody feels better. Yes. Everybody's excited. Yeah. Got the stuff done, and they're in a great shape. And again, I want to point out that we do believe in the process of the baby steps.

Yeah. And so they want to knock it off, but they had $10,000 in the bank. Right. And technically, folks, we want you to just do $1,000 in that emergency fund, put the rest of that towards the debt. But they're in a situation where they can take a big chunk out of this and knock it out completely, so that's a good thing. All right, good stuff. Good advice, Anthony O'Neill.

All right, don't move. More AMC Show coming right up. This is the Ramsey Show. I'm Ken Coleman, joined by my colleague Anthony O'Neill, and we are taking your questions. We'll take your questions about your life. That means your money. That means your profession, the kind of income you want, the impact you desire to make.

We're going to take it on for you. 888-825-5225. Open phone lines. It is a free call. Let's go to Jacksonville, Florida, where Kim joins us. Kim, how can we help? Hi. Thank you for taking my call.

Sure. I've read both of your books. Thank you. I my call. Sure. I've read both of your books. Thank you. I've learned a lot. And, yes, and I just most recently read your book, The Proximity Principle. Okay.

And there's a lot of good information, but my thing is, like, I work because I'm a single mom. I have three kids, and I don't love my job. Like, I don't feel like there's really any purpose. Yeah. Um, like, no, like I'm not contributing anything really, you know, um, for the good, you know, it's basically survival. And I feel like I've been in survival mode for so long. Like, I don't even know what I would like to do.

Like when I read all of your great tips you know about okay find what you want do this do that i'm like i don't even know where my passion even lies because like i said it's survival mode yeah but um i mean i want to get there like i want we're gonna get you there and of course of course my kids you know they're number one um and you know they're turning out great. You're doing such a good job, Mom. Hey, Mom, listen. You're doing such a good job.

And I can hear the emotion in your voice. And I want to address something real quick. Just because you don't see any worth in your work doesn't mean that you aren't making a difference all right right but i understand that's why i do the show that i do for ramsey solution right because once you get to a point where you don't have any juice any passion for the job there's no connection to the work it becomes a very slippery slope to where you feel like well my work doesn't matter to me and then all of a sudden you start to feel like I don't matter, and that's where you are right now. But let me tell you who you matter to beyond me and Anthony O'Neill right now. Those three kids think you're the sun, the moon, and the stars.

Don't you ever forget that. You hear me? Right. All right. So real quick, I want to get into this, but when you say survival mode, are you talking financial survival? You're just barely making ends meet? Yeah mean it's been a struggle um and i did i was i read dave ramsey's book for the first time i don't know why i've heard of him for years but i just actually got it for my kids

in the fall and um but i ended up reading it and so it's given me a lot of hope even though i'm like when i read it i'm like we're the single moms in this book so it's given me a lot of hope, even though I'm like, when I read it, I'm like, where are the single moms in this book? Like it's a different situation, but it has given me a plan and I do feel hopeful, but yes, it's been a huge financial struggle. So what do you do now? What do you do now? And how much do you make? Um, last year it was 37 and, um, it's an accounting for, um, like a for like a distribution company. So it's not my passion, it's not my degree, but it's a great work environment and, you know, positive people. Good, all right.

Not my passion. And so do you have a lot of debt? No, I'm actually, I paid off my last credit card a couple months ago. Hey, way to go, Kim. Now listen, how old are the kids? We're going to get to this. I want to figure out what you want to do because I think you know you're afraid to say it. But we'll get to that in a second.

All right, but how old are the kids? Okay, the oldest just turned 18, and Anthony should be going to college debt-free. She got a full-tape scholarship. How about that? Debt-free degree right there. Yeah. All right, so they're not littles. And so what are the other ages, the other two?

15, well, almost 16 and 13. Okay, good. That's good news. That's going to help me with some advice here in a second. All right. Okay. So what was your degree in? Journalism.

Interesting. Okay, so Kim, when somebody tells me on the Ken Coleman Show or here on the Ramsey Show that they have no idea what work they're passionate about, I know that that's ultimately not true, but they're having a hard time saying it, getting it out of their head. So I want to test you on something, okay? But I want you to promise me that right now you're going to turn your brain off. You're not going to think about how you get there in the form of getting qualified,

how much that would cost, how long it would take. I want you to suspend all of that disbelief, and let's assume you're in some fantasy movie that you went to, and you're just enjoying the movie even though you know it's not realistic. Does that sound good? Right. All right, here we go. I want you to answer with your heart.

If you knew you could not fail, you did not have to get qualified, you didn't have to worry about the money, the money was what you needed and then some, and you didn't have to get qualified, I'd just start you on a Monday morning soon. And you knew you couldn't fail, but you also didn't have to commit to it for the rest of your work life either. What would you try?

Okay, I've heard you ask this question i've tried to answer it's not one specific job i guess what my passion is just talk just talk don't okay you're already making excuses what is it okay um travel um helping others um and culture like those are my passions i don't know how to make money combining those things. Hold on, hold on. That's my job. Hold on. All right. So when you say helping others in culture, describe those people you want to help and

the problem or the challenge that they have because I think you know that. So describe the people and the problem. Okay. Okay. Mostly women and children, like refugees, you know, mission type work, which I used to do in college. All right. Now stop. How would you help them?

How would you help them? Now I know the people. How would you help them? What's the solution you'd want to help them with? What is it? Well, that's the thing. My first thing that comes to mind is offer comfort. Be someone to listen to them because I think, okay, I don't have medical skills or construction skills, like the typical things you think of when you go to do these things. Hold on a second, Kim.

Kim, let me ask you a question. Are you really good at connecting with people? I think so, yes. Do you love listening to people? I do, yes. Do you love listening to people? I do, yes. Do you love giving people advice and encouragement? Yes, I do. Interesting. How did I know that?

Kim, we've never talked before. So, Kim, here's the deal. You've been overthinking this. The fact of the matter is a person who goes into journalism has got verbal skills. You just do. You're gifted at communication. You're gifted at connecting with others. You're a single mom.

You've been through so much. And there's a reason why refugees and women, there's a reason from your past. Am I right or wrong? You know, I think it's more of, mean yeah my not so distant past you know just you know when going through a divorce and it's humiliating it's it was very public you know you lose your reputation your privacy all those things like it changes who you are and i feel like that's what has changed me and made me more empathetic, more understanding, less judgmental. That's it. So there it is.

If your why doesn't make you cry, it's not your why. And, Kim, your why is all over you. You're just having a hard time articulating. I think the real issue is you're dealing with doubt. You're going, I don't know if there's anything I can do to help those women. That's garbage. You know it. You can help those women.

And if it's a mission field then get after it so here's the deal your homework assignment is to look for all the ways just real jobs whether it be on the mission field or working in a government local or state agency that's helping women that are battered uh or are single moms and they and they're they're behind the eight ball and they're on welfare and government benefits or whatever and they feel like they can't ever get out of this hole. Ministries that are helping those women. Your job is to just do the research and say, who's helping those women that I want to help? And then go, what am I qualified to do?

And if there's something that you want to do you're not qualified for, you figure out how to do that, and you ask these questions. What do I need to learn? What basic certification do I need? I got news for you. You probably won't need much. You already got a four-year degree. And how much is that going to, how long is it going to take for me to get that qualification they want? And then how much is it going to cost me? And then based on that, how long will it take? Those four simple questions will come up with a plan. You have raised three kids largely on your own. There's no stopping you, Kim.

Nobody can stop you. And your heart is full right now because you know who you want to help. Now all you got to do is find out how you can help them. And I'm telling you right now, you can make the money that you want to make, 37 and more. Go figure out how to help those women now

and go do it. That is what you're supposed to do. Kim, I'm so proud of you. Don't you dare quit. Your heart's on fire. Let it stay on fire. Hey, I want to thank my colleague, Anthony O'Neill. I want to thank our producer, James Childs, our associate producer, Kelly Daniel, and you, America.

This has been The Ramsey Show. Hey, guys. This is James, senior producer for The Ramsey Show. Did you know over 18 million people listen to The Ramsey Show every week? And a lot of those people listen on one of our 600-plus radio stations across the country. To find a station near you, head to theramseyshow.com.