The Ramsey Show - App - If You Remind Me of My Past, You're Going to BE in My Past (Hour 1)

Episode Date: March 18, 2021

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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studio, this is The Ramsey Show, where America hangs out to have a conversation about your life and your money. I'm Christy Wright, Ramsey personality, and I'm joined today by my fellow Ramsey personality, Anthony O'Neill. Anthony, I'm excited about this. Christy, you in the big chair today. Hey, we've gotten to host a lot together lately, and I'm excited about this. Man, I'm excited too, Christy.

This is going to be fun. So here's the thing. When you and I get together, we get feisty and get fired up, and we are answering your calls today, America. So give us a call, 888-825-5225. If you have a question about money, if you have a question about business,

y'all know I love helping you start a side business, grow your small business, lead a team. Or if you have a question just about life, maybe it's a difficult situation, you're not sure which choice to make, Anthony and I love to coach you, help you think it through, and make the best decision for you.

While we're at it, Anthony, tell them where they can follow you on Instagram and Twitter. Hey, man. Well, you know, you can follow me on Instagram, at Anthony O'Neill. I'm not really on Twitter that much still. Oh, it's Instagram. That's your favorite. Same. Twitter's for the old people.

I learn so much every time I get to host with you. This is really education for me. I also love Instagram at Christy B. Wright. You can send us some questions there. Maybe we'll have time to throw some of those in there today. We're going to be with you all day answering your questions about money, business, and life. That's 888-825-5225. Anthony, before we go to the phones, and we've got a few callers already lined up here, but I wanted to take a second to just recap for people, maybe some people that are listening today that are new, maybe some people that might have forgotten. Recap for people a little bit about what we do as Ramsey Personalities.

Everyone knows Dave Ramsey, the man. They know Ramsey Solutions. They know the Dave Ramsey Show. And now we're Ramsey Show, and we are really being able to help people in more ways than just money. And so I'd love to kick it off. And you tell us a little bit about kind of how you came here to Ramsey Solutions and who you love to help and how you love to help them. And then I'll do the same. Man, you know, my message, Christy, is within my brand here at Ramsey Solutions, I'm really focusing on having a real relevant and relatable conversation around your life,

around building true wealth by eliminating debt and really start preparing for building wealth and leaving a legacy. And then also healthy relationships, because when it comes to money, one of the main reasons why I racked up all the debt that I did and became homeless, Christy, was because of the relationships that I had.

I was trying to impress her. I was trying to impress them. And I was racking up all this debt, trying to hang with Billy and Jane, trying to impress the Joneses. But Billy and Jane and the Joneses, when I racked up all this debt, no one really came to help me. You know, no one came and offered me a place to to lay my head. No one offered me a place to eat when I was homeless. No one even offered me a place to take a shower. And so for me, within my brand here, I'm really having that real relevant and relatable conversation to help people make better decisions when it comes to just their life and building healthy relationships. And let's build true wealth. I think a lot of people get confused

here that we just want you to get out of debt and live like you're getting out of debt for the rest of your life. No, we want you to get out of debt so you can enjoy your life and go after your dreams and your goals. And if that's a dream car, a dream house, freedom, joy, peace, you name it. I want to help that happen. Specifically that younger age, though, you know, that younger 18 to about 34, 35 years old and just really have a heart for that generation. You have a great line that I quote you all the time.

The caliber of your future is determined by the choices you make today. And you're talking about money, but you're talking about more than just money. It's really everything. Absolutely. And you're having this conversation on your new podcast, The Table. So tell people where they can connect with that. Oh, man, I'm loving Christy right now. We need to have her host more often, James.

Can we make that happen, producer, please? This is good for people to know what we're up to besides being in this studio. We love helping people through the Ramsey Show, but also you're helping people in other ways than that. I sure am, Christy. I love you. You can go to anthonyneal.com and you'll go to the show page and you'll see that we have a YouTube show that's doing very well

over there. About 200 plus thousand young people follow me on YouTube and we just launched my podcast last month and it's doing very well as well as as well there so come on over there and specifically to that younger age I mean it's all it's for everyone I don't want to sit here and say if you're older than 34 35 don't rock with your boy but what I am older than that don't worry hey yeah but what I am saying if you are older than that and I'm sure you know someone younger because here's the thing Christy we have to start

teaching our young people how to win early on in life yeah and so my brand is making it more attractive and I can say this with you because we won't be offended but I'm gonna make being debt-free the new cool sexy thing yeah you know what I'm saying yeah we're gonna be debt-free living good young cool sexy and hip so I love it that's my that's your brand I love it well so many of you are familiar with my back story of helping people start side businesses and small businesses, and now I'm helping them in their faith walk

and in personal development. If you have a question for Anthony or for myself, give us a call today, 888-825-5225. We will get you some advice and get you pointed in the right direction. All right, let's head to the phones. We've got John in Atlanta. Hey, John, what's going on? Hey, how y'all doing?

Good. How can I help? It's a little bit of a personal and finance question. About six years ago, me and my, I guess, girlfriend, we're living together now. We bought a house and we're living together now we bought a house and we're living together we have kids and everything and about six years ago when we first uh bought the house the the father well i guess to be my father-in-law he um gifted us some money to help us out pay expenses when we first bought the house and shortly like a year and a half later or about two years later the the mother-in-law we had like a little disagreement and argument over the phone. And she kind of threw that money at my face, which is clearly gifted by her husband. You know, so it's your money to help you out.

And she just kind of just threw it at my face and, you know, saying, well, you know, the house is mine, you know, because we gave you that money and all that. And now that I'm well on my feet, I pay the house off. I'm completely debt-free, and I have some money. I have about $70,000 money just sitting in the bank right now. And what he loaned me or gave me was $9,000. But I wonder, and should I pay it back, even though he's the one that gifted it, but she's the one that threw it in my face? And we're not in good terms with the mother-in-law uh we just recently found out we're having our next day expect another baby and um she didn't even tell my wife text her

she didn't even call her back or nothing and it was just kind of she's I guess she really doesn't approve of us so John we're about to go to brace let me let me help you out here real quick uh do you owe it to her uh no okay because that that was a gift but if i was in your shoes and i'm sitting with some money in the bank account and i don't want any headaches i'm just going to pay mother-in-law off uh just to just out of love just out of just just to avoid yeah avoid any future headaches. Because $9,000 is not going to hurt you and your family. You got $70,000 sitting in the bank and you're 100% debt free. So if I'm you in your shoes, I would just go in the head and say, you know what?

I don't owe this to you, but I'm going to step up. I'm going to be the bigger person because me and my wife and our family, we need peace. We don't need drama in our life. So with that being said, here you go. Be quiet. God bless you. Don't bother us no more. And bro, just don't accept any more gifts from your mother-in-law or your father-in-law.

Yeah. The one thing I would add on to that, John, just for your own peace of mind, don't think that paying her back is going to fix the relationship because the relationship is broken regardless of the money. If you want a good relationship, it's going to lead to you're going to have some conversations, some reconciliation. The money's not going to fix the relationship. It'll fix your peace of mind, but it won't necessarily fix the relationship. That's going to take a lot more work.

That's good. This is The Ramsey Show. It continues to amaze me how identity thieves keep finding ways to use our own identities against us. Not only did they commit crimes related to financial fraud, medical ID theft, and insurance benefit fraud, but now we have to deal with home title fraud. Thieves are using your own personal info to take ownership of your home so they can take out loans, and you end up with a pile of debt and foreclosure notices. Over 4,000 data breaches happened in 2018, exposing 3.6 billion records.

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We both love helping people in their life and with their money. And we're taking your calls. So give us a call, 888-825-5225. Whether it's about money, business, or life, we are here for you. All right, we've got Austin in Portland. Hey, Austin, how's it going? Pretty good. How about yourself? Good. What can Anthony and I do to help you? Yeah, so pretty much right now, I'm in a stalemate with my parents. I got a good amount of money in the bank, and I want to invest it. I do have some invested in some moderately aggressive mutual funds. I want to put more in. My parents say I want to invest it. I do have some invested in some moderately aggressive mutual

funds. I want to put more in. My parents say I should save for college because I think I'll need the money for tuition. So what do you guys think I should do? Should I get them on my side, listen to them, or what do you think? It sounds like your parents know something that you don't, which is they expect you to pay for some college. Tell us a little bit more about those conversations and what your college plans are. Yeah, so I've gotten a pretty good scholarship at school. I still have to pay a little bit out of pocket, nothing crazy. But I do work a ton. I don't make pointless purchases.

So I want to get more money into mutual funds or something, get a retirement fund started, something like that. And they don't really want me to right now because they do know that I'll have to pay some for school, but I'm making enough that I can pay as I'm going. So I want to take that extra money and invest it. How much do you have? In cash, I have $30,000, and in mutual funds, I have just over $8,500. Okay.

And what's your income right now? You said you're working a ton. What's your income and what will it be if you even know when you're going to school? Are you still planning to work and that kind of thing? So I work whenever I'm not at school. And I'm anywhere from $10,000 to $12,000 a year. Okay. I'm going to let Ayo take this one,

but I will say that to have a savings when you go into this transitional stage of life is smart. So your parents are wise in that aspect. Now, you may not need to save all that for going into college and especially with your plan to work and your scholarships and all that. But you do need something to fall back on in case you have an emergency. Ayo, how do you help teenagers? I mean, what a great question, first of all. Austin, the fact that you're asking the question is awesome. I mean, let's call this out.

Austin, you have $30,000 in savings. So clearly you are a bright young man. So I want to start off with that. Your mutual funds of $8,500, are those covered in a retirement plan or is it just in some simple mutual funds? It's just in simple mutual funds. However, my financial advisor does want to move me into a Roth IRA in the next couple of months. Okay. Cool. So that's the next step. How much do you want to put me into a Roth IRA in the next coming months. Okay. Cool.

So that's the next step. How much? I do want to put more in. Cool. Great. You say you have some scholarships. So how much over the four years do you need to come up with to graduate debt-free? Like what's your out-of-pocket cost?

So actually, I'm in a five-year degree, but I'm in my fourth semester right now. So I have six semesters left, and I pay about $7,500 per semester. Okay, so we're looking at $7,500 per semester times that by four, correct? Six. Six, so $7,500 times six. So you need $45,000 just to graduate college 100% debt-free. And so let me help you understand this one. I love the fact that you have the energy

and the drive to start investing, I mean, to really start building some wealth. I love that. And I want you to keep that. But let me tell you, what's the number one wealth builder blocker for young people in your age is debt, student loans, man, specifically. And so what your parents are telling you right now is very wise. They're saying, hey, use this money to cash flow your way through school. And here's the thing, bro. If you graduate with $40,000 in your savings account at 22, 21 years old, you can take that money over to a financial advisor and get that properly invested and you still will be ahead of the game. Okay. A study just came out recently that nearly 58% of the people in America today don't even

have $300 in their savings account. You have 30,000. Okay. So you are already far ahead of the game. Let's keep you far ahead of the game by avoiding taking out student loans. So I know you're saying, hey, but Anthony, I can work. No, here's the thing. Life could happen.

And so you don't want life to happen. And then you would have had the money. No, keep the money in the savings account just in case you're going to use it for paying off school. If you do not use it to pay off school, you graduate debt free, still with the money in account. Go holler at your financial advisor and boom, invest it. But go in ahead and get that eighty five hundred dollars switched over to a Roth IRA right now before you start putting more into it. But go in the head and get that $8,500 switched over to a Roth IRA right now before you start putting more into it. So that way you can get the compound interest. And the way you're moving right now, man, within the next, Christy, 20, 30 years, man, this young kid would be a millionaire just by investing and saving up properly.

Oh, it's amazing too. But I think the good thing to call out, the fact that he's asking this question is impressive. He's going to be fine. He's got $30,000 in the bank and he's asking this question. The thing that I want to be fine. He's got $30,000 in the bank, and he's asking this question. The thing that I want people to remember that are in this age group that you love to help, from teenager to your mid-30s, you are in most cases in a transitional stage of life. You're talking about college, maybe secondary degrees. You're talking about buying your first home probably, having babies, getting married, honeymoon. These things cost money.

So if you have cash, we want you to hold onto that savings for any of those upcoming expenses that you may need that you can't see right now. And then when that season is past you or when you're able to cash flow it, you have the extra for sure. Talk about investing. But that's the reason the baby steps go in the order that they do, because we want to protect you, especially those of you that are listening that are young. We want to help you during those life stages when you've got those big expenses coming

up. All right. We've got a call from Kim in Tampa, Florida. Hey, Tim. Kim, how's it going? Hey, it's going very well. Thanks for taking my call. I have a question about entrepreneurship.

Okay. So I'm going to name off six things because I'm you know a rock star and an office and it's just really challenging to kind of find out um what direction to go as an entrepreneur because i do have a nine to five okay these are your six ideas is that what you're about to give me yes all right let's shoot through them quick what have you got okay so um i've been low-key mentoring since high school. I was an administrative person when I was in the military. I did talent acquisition, which is recruiting, and, you know, killed it.

And, you know, had awards. Right now, currently, I'm a program manager. And I have a weekly talk show. And plus, I love networking. I connect people all the time that do stuff. So, I mean, that's a whole basket full of stuff. It sure is. Let's back up for just a second, Kim. First of all, I want to commend you on your confidence because you are excited and you believe in yourself

and that is the first hurdle that so many people get stuck at. So I'm impressed with you. The second thing is I love that you are multi-talented. You have a lot of talents. You have a lot of interests. That's awesome. Here's what I want you to think about. And this is going to be something that you're not probably going to have the answer for

in the next couple minutes. But I want you to think about after we get off the phone. I want you to think about where you want to be in five years, ten years. What you want this business to do for you. What you want this business to do for you, what you want the money to do for you, what you want your life to look like. Do you still want to be working your nine to five? When you start to forecast out into the future and say, here's where I want to be in five years, or here's what I want, where I want to be in seven years, then you back out of

that vision and you're able to have more clarity about what you need to do today. You say, what must be true today to lead to that vision? So when you start thinking long term, it's no longer just, well, what am I kind of good at and I've done in the past and what's right in front of me? It's which of these six options, and maybe it's something you didn't even mention, is going to lead me to where I want to be in five years. So when I ask you that question, is there something that comes to mind or is that something you need to think about a little bit? Definitely have to think about it. Yeah. Well, here's the good thing, Kim. It just gives you a strategy for narrowing down your options. I don't want you to think short term unless your goal is, hey, I need to pay off some debt. I need cash fast. Then you start to

look at those six options and you say, which one's going to make cash the fastest? That answers your question. But if you're thinking, this is just fun. I want to use my gifts. I want to quit my nine to five at some point. I want to think long term. I want to get myself to where I'm doing what I love every day and it doesn't even feel like work. Well, then you ask different questions.

You say, what am I going to do today that's going to lead me to that five-year vision? And it's more long-term thinking. It's more long-term planning. And then maybe you come up with a different answer. You know, Anthony, one of the things that I tell people all the time when I'm helping them narrow down their business ideas, because I get this question all the time. I call them the Jane of all trades. They've got so many ideas, and they've got so many talents. I tell them to start with what you have, your skills,

your strengths, and your stuff. When you start with what you have, you make it so much easier on yourself to win. You're not having to get another degree, buy a bunch of equipment, learn a bunch of new skills. Start with what you have. Your skills, your education credentials, your strengths, things you're naturally good at, and your

stuff. What do you have around you to work with? When you do that, you lower the barrier to entry into the marketplace, and you make it so much easier on yourself to win and make money faster. This is The Rancy Show. I'm Christy Wright. Hosting today with me is Anthony O'Neill. You can follow us on Instagram at Christy B. Wright or at Anthony O'Neill. We love connecting with you online and on Instagram. We are taking your calls.

America, 888-825-5225. If you have a question about money, starting or growing a business, or just life. Maybe you're faced with a tough decision and you want an outside perspective. We are here to help. Give us a call, 888-825-5225. Now, Blinds.com, 100% satisfaction guarantee, means that even if you mismeasure or pick the wrong color, they will remake your blinds for free. You get free samples, free shipping, and with the new promos they run every month, you'll

save even more. Use the promo code ramsey to get the best deal today's question comes from ryan in fairmont i've been making positive changes in my life but my friends still see the old me how do i get them to change their opinions of me ao i want to hear what you think on this one and then i want to jump in i'm curious this is going to be good christy you don't want to hear what you think on this one, and then I want to jump in. I'm curious. This is going to be good. Christy, you don't want to hear my opinion. I do.

I do. I do. I do. Let's have it. I don't care what my old friends think. New friends. Time for new friends. I'm just getting new friends. I mean, even Jesus wasn't accepted by his friends and his community.

So for me, I'm just like, hey, I'm not going to allow someone to prevent me from moving forward. If you're going to always remind me of my past, you're going to be in my past. Yeah. That's just my philosophy. That's good. Such a simple but really profound answer because I think sometimes we feel bad. We feel like, oh, should I do something? Even the question is, how do I get them to change their opinions of me?

And man, we get this confused so often, Ayo, where we think we can change people. How do I get them? How do I get my husband on board? How do I get my parents or in-laws to behave I get them? How do I get my husband on board? How do I get my parents or in-laws to behave with their money? How do I get someone to do something you can't? You can't get people to do something that they don't want to do. All you can do is be you, the new you, the new and improved you, if you're going places,

making positive changes, like you said, Ryan. And it's their choice if they want to go with you. Yeah. And here's the truth. Let's be real. Some of the decisions in our past have hurt people. And so some people cannot get over that hurt. And that is okay for them. As long as you know, you are getting better, you are maturing, you are progressing forward and you are growing. Forgive yourself of the decisions you made in your past and proceed forward. If they cannot do that and see that you are a new man, a new woman, that is their fault.

It's not yours. How many people are listening right now that have gone through the same exact experience when they start their debt free journey? How many friends and family are going? You're weird. What do you mean? You're using coupons. What do you mean? You're not going on vacation.

What do you mean? You won't go out to dinner with us? And they don't understand and they make fun of you and they tell you you're stupid and they tell you who is this Dave Ramsey guy and all that. But the reality is, kind of like you said, Anthony, if you surround yourself with people that are modeling the kind of life you want to have, people that are wealthy, people that have great marriages, people that are great parents, then you're going to have this awesome input and influence of people that are leading you in the direction you want to go. But I will say one cool thing you might find for all these people that are from your past

or even in your present reminding you of your past, if you keep just being you and you keep going places, they'll make fun of you for a while some of them may drop off some of them fate may fade into your past some of them might change their life because of you yeah they might stop making fun of you and say hey can you can i borrow that book yep hey can i can i can you tell me how you did that thing i know i made fun of you but i'm sorry because i really want what you have yep i want that marriage you have i want i want that family you have i want that uh wealth that you have, whatever that is. So I just, as an encouragement to you, Ryan, I love the advice of if they're not coming

with you, don't let that hold you back. But at the same time, your light might just inspire them to change their lives as well. So good. All right. We've got a call from Stephanie in Louisville, Kentucky. Hey, Stephanie. How's it going? All right. How are you guys? Good. How can Anthony and I help?

Well, so my husband and I have a unique opportunity. We live at the end of a cul-de-sac, and on one side is our house, and on the other side is this undeveloped land that's actually owned by a land developer that's trying to put in a bunch of houses. There's two ways to access this place. Either he can put in a half a mile of private road and go in through the back, which is going to be really expensive for him, or he can extend the road that we're on, which would be a lot easier.

Problem is, something like 40 years ago, the land survey are messed up, and the road is not wide enough, or at least the public area is not wide enough for him to put in those houses. He needs about 10 feet of the end of our driveway and he wants to buy it from us. But the problem is we don't really know how to come up with a number. If you look at just the amount of land and how much land out here is worth and do the calculation with the square footage, it's a couple hundred square feet it's not very much um but it allows this guy to to come in build 25 houses and have probably a

pretty hefty profit um so he asked us how much it we should sell he we would sell it for um we didn't really know how to come up with a number other than, you know, we thought of the increased property taxes as our house goes up in value and just the inconvenience of having construction noise for a year or two. But is there, you know, are there any other factors we should consider when we're coming up with a number? I don't know. We've asked a contractor that we know, a land developer that we know, and neither one of them had any idea how to come up with a number either. Yeah, Stephanie, well, I'll tell you, I don't know the details of

even coming up with a formula for that, but I do have two questions about that. Do you want to stay in this house long term? Are you planning to stay there? We're planning on it for at least the next few years. We go back and forth about whether we're going to stay on this particular piece of property or end up going somewhere else and renting out the house here. Yeah. And then the next question, do you want them to develop this land? Do you want those homes? Like, what's the implication of you at the... I'm just picturing you at the end of this sweet little cul-de-sac and it's so quiet and secluded and nice and there's going to be all these houses coming in. Is this something that you are okay with to begin with? Before we even talk about a number, is this something you're okay with them taking part of your driveway?

Yeah, I think we are because we've actually... we own our property and the one next to it so it's actually like kind of a large area um that even if there were houses next to her which most of our street has um house like duplexes um and we've got quite a bit of land we've got more land than pretty much any houses around here um so we'd still be fairly fairly secluded so um stephanie have you talked to a realtor? No. Yeah, so if I was you, I would talk to a realtor, okay, because a realtor can come out there and do comps in your area,

and not really comps as far as in the housing market, but he can come out there and say, all right, for this amount of land at the Navy driveway, we can play around with some numbers, kind of take away some things, and he can throw out a ballpark figure. This is not something that is common, but I do know that a realtor can come out there, okay, look at your square footage, look at what you're going to lose on the land as far as in part of the acreage of the home. And he can say, okay, this, or she can say, for this much, this is what is the ballpark figure. So I would definitely reach out to one of our real estate agents and see and get them included into the process

because you will have a contract, you will have an agreement, and that real estate agent can help you negotiate the price and also help you find more research on the price. Now, the builder, the developer is not going to like that because they're going to have to pay some some type of commission but right now you need to make sure you have the proper research and a real estate agent can help you out with that and then too you need to have to make sure you have the proper documentation to cover you and yourself and your family down the road so i would reach out to a real estate agent and have him or her do the research for you and present those numbers to you and then for me i'm kind of like dave if he comes back and says, hey, it's worth 50 grand, I'm going to tell him I want 100 grand because if they really want it, they may give you 75.

And whatever it is, it's probably less than what their other option is, which is going in the backside, like you said. The other thing I would add, and I love what Anthony said, this has been done before. So you're going to have to do a little bit of digging, a little bit of research. Maybe the contractor you talked to hasn't dealt with this before, but some contractor somewhere has. Absolutely. So just keep digging. You want to find people that have gone through this before so that you are getting as much information as possible on your side to be an advocate for you

and take everything into consideration, not just the actual square footage, the inconvenience, the property tax, everything that goes into it when you come up with this number. And remember, just like Anthony said, it's a starting point for a conversation. It doesn't mean it's this hard and fast number, but it's actually going to protect you in the process if you do your homework. This is The Ramsey Show. We'll be right back. I'm Christy Wright with Anthony O'Neill. We're taking your calls, America, about your life, your money, your businesses, things you're working on, things you need help with. Give us a call, 888-825-5225. We've got a call from Yashika in Raleigh, North Carolina.

Hey, Yashika, how's it going? Hi, how are you? Good. How can Anthony and I help? Thank you. So my dilemma is I'm currently, when my marriage ended, I moved into a rental and I'm currently still in that rental and I guess my question is

if I ultimately know that I'm I want to build a dream home like in the near future, if I should do that, even if I would like to do that with a spouse with the intention of remarrying in the future. So in the meantime, do you think

it would be wise to just continue renting or maybe just buying something with the intention of selling it? Or should I just go ahead and build the home, you know, on my own? This is a really interesting question. I'm so curious what Anthony has to say about this because here's my,

what you're asking is not really just a financial question. You're asking about, I mean, this is a life question and I'll tell you my right my personal beliefs and this is this is my personal beliefs I don't want you to put your life on hold for a potential spouse that you can't control the timeline of I mean it'd be different if you're in a serious relationship and you're gonna you're gonna see a ring in the next six months that's a different conversation but if if that's not you're not sure when that's going to happen, then I don't want you to put your dreams on hold if you're ready to and have the money to. So let's talk about that.

Do you have the savings to be able to start working on this house or is that far off as well? No, I'm in a position where I can do it on my own right now. Yeah. If I may ask, you don't have to answer. How old are you, Yashica? I'm 37. 37. Alright, cool.

Are you dating someone seriously right now? No. Okay. Alright. Alright. You have any kids? I have one daughter. She's nine. Alright. You see, I did a video on this and I I have one daughter. She's nine. She's nine. Okay, okay, okay. All right, all right, all right. You see, I did a video on this,

and I... All the guys are looking at me like, don't mess up, Anthony. I'm so ready for this. I'm like, I am on the edge of my seat. Dream home, Yashika? No. No. I don't think you should do it.

Should you go buy a nice condo or nice townhome yes you're young you're beautiful you're bright you're intelligent i believe you're king you're you're your provider your man will find you what i would hate for you to do is to build a home again this is personal beliefs this is not dave ramsey this is not ramsey solution it's not christy right this is anthony o'neill just saying what i would say to one of my lady friends or to my sister um is go buy you something nice if you want you know so that way maybe you can rent it out down the road when you get married but to go out there and invest into your dream home what i would hate for you to do is do that and then you have to leave that dream home

because your husband is in you're in Raleigh, North Carolina because your husband's in Atlanta so that's just my two cents buy something but dream home here we go let me in here's the thing one thing I want to call out

and this is I would say that Ayo and I might agree on this part of it I don't think that you have just one dream home i think you have your idea of your dream home right now at 37 with your daughter that you can see you may have a completely different version of a dream home when you're 55 and married and so i would i would take the pressure off that there's only one dream home for the rest of your life that's a lot of pressure and a lot of commitment. 55 is a long ways away, though. Can her dream home be different at 40?

Yes. That's what I'm saying. Like, take the pressure off that you have to have your dream home only one time in your life. And so you can't have it now because you want to have it with your spouse. I would say you may have a dream home now that's like, this is right for me right now. And then in three years, you get married and y'all have a new dream. And it's in Atlanta or it's somewhere else. And you have the right to change your mind, change your plans, change your dreams, change your house.

And that's okay. And the thing that I would add, and this is fun because we don't agree and that's fine. I don't think you need, you don't need to settle for a townhouse, Yashica. You don't need a man to have a dream house. You don't need a condo. You can have a house. If you got the money and you want to build a house, small house, medium house, whatever kind of house you want, you don't need to settle for a townhouse. But why does a single woman or even a single man like myself need a big old home paying all these light bills, paying all these different things, Christy?

You're telling people about how to secure the bag. This isn't based on need. If she she has the money she has the right to have what she wants do you need it i don't need half my earrings but i wanna okay why does she have to wait on a man i love this conversation we're just gonna camp here what time do we have to be out why does she have to wait on a man to have her dream house? I'm not saying it ever comes. Christy, what I'm saying, I'm not saying, America, that she has to wait on a man. I'm just simply saying, hey, while you are young and single, continue securing the bag. Lives somewhere nice. Is the townhome the bag?

I mean, she's going to secure the bag by getting something that doesn't have a lot of electricity, a large electricity bill, a large overhead for. So that way, when she gets married again, Chrissy, watch this. She's coming to the table with a lot more. So, hey, I want to build this, but I'm not just coming saying you have to do it. I've been praying. I've been a good steward. And here is two hundred thousand dollars go towards his dream home, because if she goes and she does that right now, Chrissy now christy again my personal opinion she's not coming to the table with that kind of bag she's going to come with hey i have my dream home i'm gonna have this large mortgage you moving in

with me or you're doing this rather than it's like hey i've been praying i've been faithful i bought a nice town home or i bought a nice small home for me and my kid. But it wasn't the ultimate dream home. And maybe I could be off because when I hear dream home, I hear something differently from myself. You know, I hear I hear a big home. Yeah. And I could be wrong. OK, no, no, no. Let's just let's say you're right. Let's say that's fine. Let's say I believe that she is going to get married again.. I do too. But what if she doesn't? Or what if that's 10 years from now and then she waited 10 years for a man in a townhouse? No, no.

I'm not saying wait 10 years. I'm saying give it to 40. I think she'll find a man. I think a man will find her this year. He will love her, love her daughter, get married by the end of next year and they can dream off together. I would tell my little sister to do that, and she did just that.

She stayed with my parents. She met my brother-in-law, Glenn, and now they are multi-successful millionaires doing great things. Totally, totally. I would say it's not mutually exclusive that you have to not have a house, not build your house, or have a successful marriage. I think you can do both, right? I totally agree, and I'm going to just buy out on this one.

Yes, you got options. Ayo and I have given you options. That's why we're here. We're here for you on the Ramsey Show to give you options. I believe you'll get married, and I think you'll do what's right for you. It's a fun conversation, though, because it's not just

a money conversation. It's a values conversation that we're talking about. Hey, take a second to explain to people what securing the bag means. Yeah. For everybody listening

that is like me and didn't know When I say people, I mean me. what secure the bag is. Our producer wants to know. Tell people what secure the bag means.

What secure the bag means. Secure the bag because some of y'all are probably wondering what in the world is going on james everyone is not just some people james and madison um and everyone in the studio and america securing the bag just simply means that you're you're making money you're getting money you're saving money and so that's just a new hip term a more cool and relevant term for making money saving money uh flipping money just really getting more money. Is it is that different than building wealth or are those kind of the same thing? It's the same thing. You know what I'm saying? I mean, building wealth is, you know, you know, that definition is and securing the bag.

It's just something that the hip hop generation has added to that term. You know, you get a bag, secure a bag and secure the bag simply means get the money and you keep the money. Yeah. You're not getting the money and going out there and spending it. Yeah. You're making money. You're saving it. You're investing it.

You're building true wealth. I'm so sorry, America. I'm sorry, James, for confusing y'all. Actually, I didn't bring that one up this time. Christy did. I did. My sister from another mother. If you're going to tell Yashica, she needs to wait.

We need to know what we're waiting with. But I think it's good. I think this is a really important conversation because the reality is, Yashica is not the only person dealing with this situation of going, I have dreams for my life. It may be a baby. It may be a different job. It may be something else.

Some of those dreams I can control the timeline of. A lot of them I can't. Yeah, I agree. So how do I make decisions today with the money i have based on what i know and the make the best decision for me this is a good conversation great and we should follow up on this we should i did not say she should i just said she had to i just said she should okay all right that's what makes it actually that's clear i want to thank producer James Child, associate producer Kelly Daniel, and you, America, for listening. This puts the first hour in the books. This is The Ramsey Show.

This is James Child, producer of The Ramsey Show. Did you know The Ramsey Show is one of the most popular podcasts in the world? Subscribe or follow today wherever you listen to podcasts.