The Ramsey Show - App - If You Want To Win You Need To Submit to a Proven Plan (Hour 3)

Episode Date: December 19, 2022

Dave Ramsey & Dr. John Delony discuss: Dealing with an emotional family situation, Owing $10k on college classes, Knowing when to leave a toxic work situation. Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: https://bit.ly/3nInETX Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6 Learn more about your ad choices. https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the pods, moving, and storage studios, it's the Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. We help people build wealth, do work that they actually love, and create real, amazing relationships. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality,

number one best-selling author of the book, Own Your Past, Change Your Future, is my co-host today. Elizabeth is with us. Elizabeth is in Pensacola, Florida. Merry Christmas, Elizabeth. Merry Christmas, Dave. Thank you. And John, Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas. How can we help? Okay, thank you. I've been in a relationship for coming up on one year with a man who's loving and devoted father to his two girls. And I also have a daughter. And we started off so wide open and hopeful. And we were discussing the possibility and dream of marriage and blending our families and how that could work.

But little by little, issues regarding lots of things, including boundaries with the kids, have seemed to put a huge damper on our relationship. And due to his behavior and moods, my daughter's pretty much lost all respect for him and despises him now. And at this point, our relationship is unrecognizable from a year ago. Since I've retreated to where I felt I wouldn't step on any toes out of deference and respect. But I'm also struggling with the feeling I should walk away,

but also not wanting to abandon what we've tried to build. How old is your daughter? She's 13 and a half. They're perfectly capable of causing entire countries to cave in. They also, 13-year-olds, I was just talking about this on my show earlier today. Their sonar for not safe is often much more in tune than ours are as adults. Because like you just mentioned, you've got a fantasy. You've come from heartbreak. You want the idea of a family, and you meet this guy, and right out of the gate, it's going to be awesome.

And all of a sudden, the the picture y'all paint together looks incredible and then reality starts to open up over the last year and you have enough strength and fortitude and grit and determination i'm gonna marry this guy i don't care if he's the worst guy i i want that picture and your 13 yearyear-old saying, I'm not going to be around him because she's still in touch with, she hasn't lost that sense of herself yet. Here's my hard, hard question

for you. It sounds like you've already broken up with him. You haven't broken up the fantasy. Yeah, because I just like, and John, on your recommendation, I bought that book Facing Love Addiction

by Pia Melody and I I'm trying to look at myself and say is this just, you know, but I do, I love him and care about him so much and it's just hard to let go because Both of those things can be true at the same time

you can love somebody deeply and they're not the right person to connect to hit your wagon to for the rest of your life you can break up with somebody be devastated and still be the right thing to do those things aren't mutually exclusive and i'm not telling you to dump him i would never tell somebody to do that unless there's abuse or something so i'm not telling you gotta leave him what i'm just holding up a mirror to what you just told me and dave is you're done with this relationship you're not done with the idea of what could have been which bucket um your 13 year old doesn't know anything to do with him she's lost all respect for him is it because he called her out on her stuff and no one has lately and she's a little 13 year old but or is it because um she's seeing

stuff that you know is right uh it's it's a little both but i she's got an incredible sense about people and i've always you know tried to tell her hey why does she not respect him exactly um he gets kind of moody and she thinks that he's not acting like mature and i agree you know times where he gets like triggered by things and he'll kind of act moody or her or something and it's like i think she's looking just like i am for that leader and i've got the compassion to try to like oh i'll work with him i'll work with and she's just like nah you know when you say moody is it that sunday afternoon dad just that there's a bear over there on the couch watching football

you better not talk to him or touch him or is it is he ugly does he say ugly things he's ignore people what do you mean be specific about the behaviors um so like uh for instance sometimes um even specifically towards her like he kind of didn't give her the benefit of the doubt for something, let's say. And, you know, and he kind of acted like she wasn't, um, acting right when she was just being a normal kid or, or also, you know, just the way that she's seen him interact with, cause he's got a daughter too that's her age and so you know I'm sure they chat you know and so just seeing how soon as he reacts to her and then the daughter's reaction to that there's like I didn't even go into some things that she's seen that I also wasn't okay with over it his place where just there's some family dynamics there that I'm not like so let me put this both you and him have been around the block meaning y'all been through heartbreak y'all have had y'all have had other marriages before you've

had other relationships is there an opportunity for y'all to sit down with adult like like in a very adult conversation almost like a like an accounting review um an audit and just say hey this last year has been tough. Let's either, let's agree that we're going to, we're going to start acting different. We want this thing to work and we're going to both begin to, or continue to invest in this thing, or let's, we're going to be heartbroken and it's going to be hard, but let's choose to move on. Could you do that? Could you have that conversation and for the the and say some of your needs out loud yeah and I've been trying to and it seems like he kind of like doesn't um I don't know if he's really very available to give me what I need which also and I even used

some words I heard on your show like I'm worth you know being loved for who I am or like I'm worth this I have a lot to offer. And like, I'm, you know, and he's kind of like, I don't know. He just, I don't, I don't think he actually appreciates my, my worth. And I'm trying to, I don't know. I think maybe that's also part of it too. You're done. Yeah. I mean, that's what you're telling us. You just, you just outlined somebody that's done. And I wanted, and Dave, I like want someone to treat me like how you treat Sharon. I want, John, I want someone to treat me like how you treat Sheila. I want that.

And I just. Your daughter doesn't because I would be dismissive of her if she was, if your household is kid centric and your kid thinks she's the all to be all and she's 13, I would be dismissive of her. So you really wouldn't want me. I think you would just like to feel like I'm on that pedestal, and I'm not like some diva. No, not you, her.

Oh, yeah, yeah. No, you get to be on the pedestal. That's your job. The 13-year-old doesn't. Right, right, and that's what I feel like. And I literally put my hand down on the ground. I was like, I feel like I'm down here, and let's let's say his, you know, mom and his sister and your mom and your sister are there.

Mama's in this. Mama's in this. Whoa. You should have left with mom. You should have led with mama. Led with mama. Yeah. Hey, here's what, here's what you're, what I think is going on here.

Your, uh, your body's gearing up for another breakup and it it remembers the last one, and it was painful and awful. So get some people in your life because you're about to enter into a hard season. Yeah. Get some hot tea and two good friends. We'll walk alongside you. This one's done. It'll be tough. It's done.

Stick a fork in it. I'm sorry, honey. I'm sorry. This is The Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. I got good news for all you guys and gals out there who are planners and are looking ahead to make big changes in 2023. The $10 sale is on! Yeah, it's our biggest $10 sale yet.

You'll find plenty to inspire and motivate you for the coming year. Some of the newcomers to the $10 sale are my number one bestseller, Recent, Baby Steps Millionaires, Ken Coleman's number one bestseller, From Paycheck to Purpose, The Conversation Cards, Questions for Humans by Dr. John Deloney, The Total Money Makeover, lots and lots and lots and lots, most of our books, number ones, most of them $10. So check it out, all at ramsey solutions.com do not

miss this this is the time to get the best deals and for most of you i think we can still get them to you for by christmas i don't know how this stuff's working all right john so uh before i get all the hate mail um you and i have talked about this several times, and let's get some clarity on it. How do you balance on that last caller as a single mom in that situation, being too kid-centric and putting a 13-year-old on a pedestal and giving them too much credit for wisdom that they really don't have and therefore empowering them to be little brats in a sense uh where like they're in charge of your adult relationship or something they can't carry that um how do we balance that with you said they've got a great radar because it's unfiltered

and they they do have a sense about things which they do so i'm not completely disrespecting or discounting the kids opinion but um you've said a lot of times and i've agree with you that we're a little bit too not a little bit we were way too kid centric way in this culture where everything revolves around a little child what tipped this conversation for me was mom's and mom knew mom knows this thing was a 13 year old was just the truth teller that's right the 13 year old was the unfortunately the oracle in that house and had said some things out loud that mom had been feeling and thinking all along and so it was mom saying this thing has has degraded over the last year it's not what we thought it's not who he's not who i thought he was he's immature and then

she we could have pushed a little bit more She would have told us some stuff that would have made our hair curl up. Well, we finally got to mama, but yeah. So in this situation, daughter was the only one with the courage to tell the truth. Yeah. So – Because usually the reverse happens. When somebody has met somebody new, it's going great, they respect them. Yeah.

What I don't want people to to hear you say is it because you didn't say it is a belligerent arrogant teenager is not the oracle no in your house they're just being a teenager but that's hormone induced and they don't have the position of power that's right to decide what I get to do. I'm the dad. And on the other hand, they also, you know, but that's assuming then that I'm also big enough as the dad or the mom to listen to what they have to say and that they do actually have feelings.

Absolutely. Absolutely. And I want to teach a – I'm not going to put the weight of all the responsibilities in the house on a teenager because they can't carry that weight. It's not fair. It's cruel to do that to a kid. To ask them all the time, where do you want to eat? What do you want to do? And where do you want – a kid can't handle that.

And also, I want to begin to teach them, let them practice autonomy. So, hey, we're going to go eat one of these two places. Which one do you want to pick they get to pick from those two choices that i put out there right so we're going to slowly teach them that but in this situation that kid was just telling the truth well maybe let him do that last night the seven-year-old pick between ravioli and tacos there you go and that that seven-year-old is going to flex all week being like i i told me what we were having for dinner yeah yeah okay that's cool all right that that i mean because mimi what we were having for dinner no no okay that's cool

all right that that i mean because there's a thing happening here that's um that we're we're not like some kind of old school dinosaurs where we're saying that the child does not have a voice and you're not trying to teach them that because my friend andy andrews said we're trying to we're not trying to raise kids to be great kids we're trying to raise kids to be great kids. We're trying to raise them to be great adults. Adults, that's right. Which is approach an adult conversation with someone else's relationship with humility. Right. That's how you do it as an adult. And it's how you do it by God when you're 13. That's right.

You know. So. And there's the mistake I made early on with one of my kids was they would say something and I would say, no, you don't. When it came to, I'm scared or I'm, this hurt. And I would say, no, it doesn't. No, it didn't. Well, that's not, I'm teaching you not to trust yourself.

That's dumb. What I should say in those situations is, I'm sorry that it hurts. We still have to go. Or I'm sorry that it hurts. We still have to go. Or I'm sorry that you're scared. I'm going to put a light on, but you still have to sleep in this bed, right? So it's both and. It's not a dismissal of you, and it's also not – we still have responsibilities. And I'm teaching you, I don't want to get up and go to work today, but I got to, right?

Yeah. Sometimes there's grown-up stuff to be done. That's right. All right. Bonita is with us in Lansing, Michigan. Hi, Bonita. How are you? day but i got to right yeah sometimes there's grown-up stuff to be done that's right all right bonita is with us in lansing michigan hi bonita how are you um pretty good how about you better than i deserve what's up um so i've been listening to you for a few months now and i've been trying to pay off this um little bit debt I have, and as well, I got my boyfriend listening to you and paying. We paid his debt off and everything, and things

have been going good, but then I, you know, I'm taking a gap year from school this year. I'm in college, and yesterday I found out that I didn't unenroll from the classes in time like I thought I did. And now I'm on the hook for about 10 grand that I need to pay, that I wasn't expecting to pay. And I feel like it just kind of put a wrench in my plans. That's a lot of money for me. And I just, I don't know. I don't really know. I would go down and meet with the registrar's office and let them know exactly what you did. And you say, I had a lot going on and I screwed up and I didn't withdraw from these classes.

I never attended these classes. I haven't been a student here. Can you help me out? I don't have $10,000 to write you a check right now. And I will tell you, I've worked at universities that would say, absolutely, we'll take care of you. And I've worked at universities that would say, sorry, we have to go by the policy.

I'll also tell you that the reason I'm in this seat right now is because I was taking a master's level counseling class as an administrator. And I registered for that class like in April. It was a summer class. I completely forgot about it. And I went to register for the fall classes. I was just taking a class here and there and I had an F on my transcript. So I called the, I emailed the professor and said, Hey, I never went to the class. I got an F. Can you fix that? And she goes, no, you didn't show up to my the class I got an F can we know you didn't and she goes no you didn't show up to my class you got an F and then I went up across campus and I said hey I can't have an F

on my transcript and she said I will take care of this but you have to go to my child play therapy class at that time I would have rather set myself on fire than go to a child play therapy class and I went and then we ended up she said what are you doing getting a master's degree you need another degree and she ended up being the reason i'm in nashville tennessee so i tell you that to tell you this if you made a mistake own the mistake somebody might help you out and it may be the best thing that ever happened to you and it may be that you just got to pay 10 000 bucks and move on i sure hope you don't but uh in person in by email in person not text message talk dm or whatever the crap tiktak or whatever you don't just go in there in person sit down like a human and don't blame them blame yourself take all the

ownership yeah humble what we used to call hat in hand i messed up please give me mercy i'm begging for mercy i'm here to fall before your desk and ask for mercy. That's right. And I goofed up by three days or five days or whatever. I thought I did it properly. I was stressed out. I'm taking a gap year because I'm broke, and I'm certainly so too broke to pay $10,000, and so please help me.

One other loophole might be can you at least give me incompletes on these grades so i could take them again when i get done with my gap year and that may be a way not to get your money back but to preserve so you have to pay for those classes twice that might be something you can do also but hopefully they'll give you your money back. You can probably get that. Hopefully they'll just say, yeah, we deal with college-age people, and sometimes they mess up. Because all people mess up. This is The Ramsey Show. are you sick of planned obsolescence you, when companies make products crappy so you have to buy more of their crappy products? Well, me too.

And it's why I love companies like Grip6. Grip6 is all about quality products meant to last forever. That's why their comfortable, bulk-free belts, slimline wallets, and lightweight wool socks all come with a lifetime warranty and simple returns and exchanges. So check them out at Grip6.com today and get up to 20% off with the promo code RAMSEY. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, number one best-selling author, is my co-host today in the lobby of Ramsey Solutions on the debt-free stage. Will and Kendall are with us. Hey guys, how are you? We're good. How are you? Better than we

deserve. Where do you live? I live in Memphis, Tennessee. Very fun. Welcome to Nashville. Merry Christmas to you. Yeah, Merry Christmas to y'all. How much debt have you paid off? $28,000. All right. How long did that take? About five months. Good. And your range of income during that time? Went from about $40,000 to $72,000. Very cool.

What do you all do for a living? So I'm in nursing school, so I graduate in May. All right. Yep. And then I work at a content creation agency in Memphis and we just specialize in commercial photo and video and then on the side I'm a Ramsey certified financial coach oh wow look at you well done cool cool cool what kind of debt was this 28,000 so it was a car loan and then student loans that she took out earlier and uh so we would knock those off and now

we're just cash flowing the rest of her school i love it good nursing is a great degree well you got five months more of being the breadwinner dude and then yep she's gonna take the keys that's fine with me that works for me exactly it's all good how long y'all been married uh six months yeah we got married in June. Oh, gross. How's it going? It's going good. It's great. Six whole months.

How old are you guys? I'm 22. And I'm 21. All right. Way to go, you guys. And you're a 21-year-old Ramsey financial coach. Yes, sir. My goodness.

That's impressive. Okay, so you get married. And, I mean, Kendall, you signed up for this. I mean, you signed up with a Ramsey financial coach. God help you. Exactly. You know, so you get married, and, I mean, Kendall, you signed up for this. I mean, you signed up with a Ramsey financial coach. God help you. Exactly. You know, so you get married. What's the first thing you got to do?

We got to get rid of these debts. Exactly. And I'm guessing that, Will, the car loan wasn't even yours. It actually was. It was yours? It was. Oh, good. We can spread the guilt around there. Yeah, we can.

I like it. We can. Good. That's good. Awesome. Okay, so tell me the story, how you guys started talking about like it. Good. That's good. Awesome. Okay. So tell me the story, how you guys started talking about this and then what you did to get out of debt.

Yeah. So we actually took foundations in high school, but at the same time, it really never clicked for either one of us. She took it as a sophomore. I took it as a senior and it wasn't until COVID I just was working and started binging the podcast and the YouTube and I obviously heard of you from high school and honestly I just started binging it and I really started to understand what the mission and uh y'all's values here at Ramsey, like what it actually means. And so that really,

for both of us, we were like, we don't want to live like we see in the world from people that are close to us. We didn't want to live and be normal like that. So we decided, obviously, when we were getting married that we weren't going to do that. And so from then, obviously, when we got married, we started doing it. I started coordinating FPU. So in January, I'll have my fourth class. My goodness. And so we're just fired up. Honestly, we're just excited. So how much grief do the old people in a class give a 21-year-old coordinator? Yeah, it's always funny. I'll walk in, and I'll be greeting people, just kind of casually walking around, introducing myself.

And then they have no idea who I am until I get up at the front and start saying, like, greeting everyone. And it's always funny to see everybody's face when they see that I'm actually teaching the class. Now you can show the video to start the class of this interaction. That'd be great. Yeah. And so that was one thing that we really wanted is that we're not just someone that's putting the video up and playing it. Like we're in,

we're doing it with y'all. And that's what I tell everybody that we come into contact with. Like we're on this same journey with you. We're doing it as well. Right. So Kendall, you had a picture since for years of your first year or two of marriage. Yes. It probably included fewer beans and rice than you've eaten in the last six months.

That's very true. We were talking about this on the way here. Like, I mean, when you get married, like you get married, we just moved into an apartment. We want to furnish it, get it all cute, but we had to be okay with, you know, we got a free couch from the church. We just furnished it how we could because we were paying off debt. We didn't have the money to go buy a couch and a table and all that. When you get a free couch from a church, that means they got the free couch from someone else this is third generation what you're talking i thought there's so many butts that have been on

that couch exactly and it's not a very pretty color either but okay this is good because we had we had a call in the earlier segment is your marriage somehow less than no not at all if anything it's better um it's brought us closer together i mean we're on the same page financially and so when y'all already say when you get on the same page like things start to just it's just building up and you're going in the right direction and i feel like we're closer because we've done this together. We both, it wasn't just me that wanted this. She wanted it as well, which was really cool, and I was thankful for that we have the same values

when it comes to money and marriage, and so it's been really cool. How does it feel to be free? Amazing. Amazing. Amazing. And you've been able to cash flow the rest of nursing school? Yes.

Yeah, well done, y'all. Yeah. You guys got such an incredible start. You're going to be able to be unbelievably generous and unbelievably wealthy both. Very, very cool. Very cool. Okay, now you're leading the class. You're debt-free.

You paid off $28,000 in the first five months of marriage. And someone says, okay, hot hot shot what is it you do to get out of debt what are the what are the things you got to do if you're going to get out of debt what are the keys um honestly obviously the budget but we talk about this a lot just being content like with what you have like all of our friends you you know, our friends that also get married, um, you know, may have a new couch and a new this and that, but us just being content knowing like, this is our plan. This is what we're going to do. And it was five months. Like I know people have longer journeys than that. And so we knew for five months we can do this. And then, you know, now we, we did get a new couch. So our apartment's coming together. Yay!

Yeah, it's a lot better. Only our butts have been on that couch. Yes. Yeah, and I'd agree with that. You always say, get on a plan and stick with it. And that's what I always tell people. During FPU, if you will submit to this plan and give it 110%, it will work for you. It doesn't just for low-income or high-income families. It's for anybody that's willing to submit to the plan. And that's what a lot of things in life. It's not just money. If you are willing to put the work in, submit to the plan,

like your life can change for the better. All right. Closed circuit to all you people in Memphis. If you want to go to the best possible financial peace class, I think I just found the coordinator. Wow. That was incredible. Very well done. If you want to coach in Memphis, I think we just found him. Excellent job, dude.

Very, very, very well done. Powerful stuff, you two. And if you want a nurse to jab you with needles, I want a nurse who wants to be there, not who has to be there. Yes, sir. Exactly. Very cool. I do.

Wow. Hey, we've got the Live and Give bundle for you. It includes the Baby Steps Millionaires book. It includes the Total Money Makeover book and a one-year membership. Probably some gifts you'll give away. And maybe you can enjoy at least the Baby Steps Millionaires book. You're going to be those before you know it, no doubt. You guys are an incredible, powerful young couple.

Wow, excellent job. Well done, well done. All right, it's Will and Kendall, Memphis, Tennessee. $28,000 paid off in the first five months of marriage, making $40,000 to $72,000 when she graduates from college and becomes a nurse. Watch out, watch out. out here it goes count it down let's hear a debt-free scream three two one we're dead free oh if i had had one ounce of that much since when I was 21, just one ounce. When I was 21, I saw the deep hole I'd already dug myself, and I was like, let me borrow a shovel.

I can make that deeper. Let's go see how deep we can go. I kept digging until I was about 36 years old. Way to go, you guys. You're impressive. Awesome. Hey, that's the power of that high school curriculum right there. This is The Ramsey Show. so Our scripture of the day, Romans 15, 13,

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. C.S. Lewis said, Joy is the serious business of heaven. Love it. Nick is with us. Nick is in Salt Lake City, Utah. Hi, Nick. How are you?

Good. How are you two? Better than we deserve. How can we help? Perfect. I'll try to make this brief. I'm trying to figure out if I should leave my toxic work environment and go to my old... Okay.

Tell us about your toxic work environment. What's toxic about it? A little your story. What's toxic about it? So a little back story. I had to come here to get benefits because my previous place didn't have any benefits. And so my family had a major crisis in our lives where my wife tried to take the lights. Sorry. That's okay. So you had to take this job for the insurance

so she could get the care that she needed? Correct, yeah, because she had to go. When she was in the care, she was recommended to go to a psychiatrist, a therapist, I'm sorry, for a minimum of two times a week. And we got it down to one time a week, but paying out of pocket was just going to be where we would have been homeless. And we have a one-year-old, he's about to be one, and we just didn't see a solution for it. How long ago was that? In 2020, last year,

around November. So a little over a year ago. Hey, can I just stop you right here and applaud you for being a husband who loves his wife enough to do whatever it takes? Thank you. You're an impressive, brave man.

And I'm proud to get to share a conversation with you, man. You quit a job that you liked in order to take a job that you had to take so that you could care for your family, and that's what people do in hard times, and I'm proud of you. Thank you. So it sounds like this new job provides medical benefits, but also is pretty awful, too. Yeah, so I took it because it was a higher paying job and when we got the medical bill it was very high where we're obviously in debt right now and so now the main reason for the benefits to pay for therapy as well as be able to pay for the medical

bill just to get out of it and what do you make? It's about a year's worth of salary. At this new place, I make about $78. Doing what? At the old place, engineering. You're an engineer? Yes. Okay. And how old are you? I am about to be 28.

So you've been licensed three years, four years? No, no. So I just started working about two and a half years ago. So we didn't know about you guys until... No, I'm asking how long you've been an engineer. Oh, yeah, for about two and a half years only. Okay. All right.

And what's the problem at the new place? Define what toxic means in this case. So any time I get yelled at on a weekly basis and there's been times where i've been yelled at in front of my colleagues and have been threatened that if i don't get get it right then i'm going to be out of here the next day okay let me stop you a second okay are you being confronted about performance or are you being yelled at with actual volume you know that with actual volume okay or yeah here's this is i'm gonna ask this directly and kind of i mean it's hard is this you being like it's hurting my feelings or is this no dude this dude's like getting all up in my face like if we were outside, there'd be a problem, kind of yelling at you.

Yeah, if we were outside, there'd be a problem. And that's where I'm not sure what to do because I can handle it and I can take it, but it's to the point where it's just becoming... I would think there'd be a lot of engineering jobs in Salt Lake City that included medical benefits. Have you looked yet? Yeah, I've looked at a couple of different areas and tried to apply to a few different places. And a lot of them are hiring, and I've had a couple of interviews with them. However, we're in a small town where if I were to go there, it's about a 45-minute commute to an hour commute for me to get to the other places that I'm interested in.

I can do that more than I can be yelled at because my yelling button is fairly low. Mine too. Like one time. I also can consider moving communities if I have to move a little bit closer to where I work. Are you all locked into this community that you're a part of right now? Yeah. So we have a house. We bought it a couple of years ago.

And so we do have a house. And the reason we're living where we are right now is because we have parents that are close by that can watch a little boy, especially right now since she's working part-time. So we can try to pay off the debt and go into therapy. We're just both trying to pay it off as fast as we can try to pay off this debt and go into therapy it's we're just both trying to pay it off as fast as we can sure i don't want you to lose your relationship or your sanity in the process okay okay yeah you gotta you gotta you're gonna have to do something else we just gotta find out what and it may be it may be pick your poison uh i'm picking i'll make a commute

before i get yelled at. I'm picking I'm going to keep looking and looking and looking and find something very soon because it's not going to be long before I tell this guy to take this job and shove it. Yeah, okay. I mean, like 30 seconds. Because I'm a redneck, it's hard for me to put up with that stuff. I mean, I get all hillbilly on you.

That ain't going to work work i don't do yelling you know you're just thinking about you experiencing that can you imagine you know we actually had a team member a while back a few years ago yell at one of our leaders here and he fired him on the spot and it's like he goes why are you firing me it was like because we like are civilized human beings in here you you know you're done you belligerent little twerp and so oh my god yeah man i your your instinct and your guts are right i'm with dave i would rather come home with integrity 30 minutes later every day and what i mean by integrity not brow beating down and not exhausted and not hating my life but i but i do think that you know don't put too many constraints on this there's no way to do this except in this other bad way right there's you know sometimes if the only options i've got

are two bad ones that means i don't have enough options right and so i want you to go keep looking and poking and looking and poking and looking and poking and find you something or open up your own engineering thing on the side and drive uber at night i don't know but um you know let's do something different very very quickly like i like the end of january you have a new job nick that's what i'm prescribing i'm telling you to go do that okay perfect does that make sense and yeah you know don't care. It might be that you buy your own health insurance and you get paid $100 at the other place instead of $70. Okay, yeah, that makes sense. I'd do that one too. I mean, I don't, you know, benefits are good, but they're not worth $60,000 a year.

So, I mean, if you can make more money someplace else and you don't have a commute and you've got to buy your own health insurance, have at it. That's right. But your dignity doesn't have a price tag, brother. Yeah, and just, you know know boy i mean it's dignity it's also just humanity i mean it's just you know we're just not gonna act like these what are you who yells in the and i mean it's not like this is a a ditch digging firm or something i mean this is an engineers who thinks they can get i mean this is here's who thinks they can get i mean here's who thinks they can get away with it high paid white collar job somebody who's gotten away with it yeah nobody ever hires brand new newly uh certified engineers and just and overpays them so he can abuse them

or possibly underpays them and runs them into the ground and gets what he wants they leave and then he has his bad attitude and starts it over again. Where are you going? Don't have any payments. Not here. That's right. That's right. Somewhere else. Not here.

Not today. Bye-bye. You are a confused individual. Oh, man. But, hey, kudos, man, for doing the hard thing and quitting a job. You're a stud, Nick. Loving your wife and loving that little one-year-old. Throw your shoulders back.

Step into the next thing because you're good at stepping into the next thing. You've done a good job with it. And, yeah, that place is not deserving of someone with as much character as you have, sir. That's right. That puts this hour of the Ramsey Show in the books. Thanks to Austin, Ben, James, Zach, and Andrew in the booth. They're known as the booth dudes. They make this happen. We'll be back with you before you know it.

In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus. Hey, it's John Deloney, co-host of The Ramsey Show. Did you know over 18 million people listen to The Ramsey Show every week? A lot of those people listen on one of our 600-plus radio stations across the country. To find a station near you, go to RamseySolutions.com slash show.