The Ramsey Show - App - I'm 29 With 3 Kids and My Husband Passed Away (Hour 2)

Episode Date: July 14, 2021

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Thank you. Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studio, this is The Ramsey Show. It's where America hangs out. To have a conversation about your life, I'm Ken Coleman, joined by John Deloney. As we take your calls this hour, it is a free phone call.

Toll-free, 888-825-5225. 888-825-5225. We combine our forces. We're both Ramsey personalities. If you're new to the show or new to us, Dr. John Deloney's show is on the Ramsey Network, where he talks to you about life and relationships, mental and emotional health. The Ken Coleman Show, also on the Ramsey Network, where he talks to you about life and relationships, mental and emotional health. The Ken Coleman Show, also on the Ramsey Network, where I talk to you about discovering what you were born to do.

What is that professional purpose, that unique contribution, where you make the income you need and the impact you want? So we're here to help in those areas as well. We love to be together. We're having a blast. So let's go. Waiting on you. 888-825-

5225. Let's go to Houston, Texas where we start off with Rick. Rick, how can we help? I just had a question on when you go to a store, like a department store or a sporting goods store, and you make a purchase and they offer you a

discount to open a line of credit, how do you address that situation? No, thank you. Do you take credit? No, thank you. Never. Just say no, thank you. Yeah, never, never.

But, I mean, there's a discount. You know what I'm saying? Okay, so let's play that out. So you're super smart, Rick, and you decide to, well, I'm going to game these folks. I'm going to sign up for their sports stores R Us card and get 15% off on the bat and helmet for my kid. I know I'm feeling really good about myself. And then you've got to immediately go to the parking lot and cut the card up and call them and get out of it.

Is that what you're going to do? Right. See, there's a big temptation there. So we've been pretty consistent for a long time on this, John, and we're kind of adopting this from Dave, that now you've got yourself a credit card opened. And if you don't close it, there's all kinds of options there to get into a hole. Thoughts?

Yeah. He's not buying it, John. He's not buying it. This was the big revelation for me, Rick, and I'm with you. I love feeling like I'm gaming the system. It's one of my favorite things to do. I love it. I especially love it when somebody thinks I can't game the system,

and then I can show them I can. I love it, right? It's when I realize this. Those guys aren't my friends. It's not like, hey, bro, hey, help me out here. Open up this card and I'll give you this discount. They are willing to take less money on the front end because their data tells them that they, over the long game, are better at this than me. And what I realized over the long game is I canceled it, I canceled it, I canceled it, I canceled it, and then once I didn't.

And whatever that one was turned into another thing, and then I got an advertisement in the mail. I was like, oh, man, they're running a big sale over here. Suddenly I'm buying stuff. I've got money out there. And listen, people listening is like, I would never do that. Cool. High five you.

But no company gives away money because they're your friends. No airline gives you miles because they're nice to you. They're like, you know what? You've helped us out. We're going to help you out. They're doing that because they make money. The numbers prove it, Rick. So you asked, should you do it? We told you no. If you want to do it, you could be disciplined.

You're a grown-up, Rick. You can do what you want. You're a big boy. What I'm telling you is, you will lose the game in the long run, and they know that. That's why they offer it to you. We're not going to say it's okay for you, Rick, but not for other people who call the show because they fall prey to the trap. I think Rick, the Ricks of the world, I've got friends like this still ask me this question. I was a Rick of the world. Well, but I've got friends who are very smart financially, and they know I work with Ramsey Solutions.

They do this to me all the time. It's like a party trick. I'm not kidding. Yeah. It's like a party trick. I'm not kidding you. It's like, guys, listen. I didn't say you were morally wrong for doing it. I'm not saying that you aren't disciplined enough to do it. What we're telling you is the answer has to be no because so many people aren't.

So what are we supposed to say? You know what, Rick? You can actually do it. But the rest of you don't do it. Well, and that's the other side of it is when I, let's say I can't figure it out. I can be that one person, the one out of however many. That's it.

Then I realized, wait a minute, this company makes their billions and billions of dollars on the backs of frightened people, scared people, exhausted people, people who are in a crunch. I don't want to support that. Right crunch i don't want to support that right i don't want to i don't want to contribute to that so i'm just going to opt out right and i'll pay an extra seven dollars on my whatever purchase at whatever sporting goods store because to not get into that game with them all right john i've got breaking news break it brand new on Generation Z, and it's got a relational component. Okay. Bring it.

So I shared it on my show today, but I want to get your take on it. Okay. Because I know you're going to have some great insight. Here it is. New data, new poll by Generation Lab. They researched a bunch of college students and recent graduates. So we're talking about Generation Z folks. Okay.

So these are people that are in high school, college, and now there's early 20s in the workforce. Gen Z. And you ready for this, John? A whopping 40% of college students and recent grads prefer to work in the office all the time. Not remote work. Okay. Now, this is amazing. Another 39% of those ages in Generation Z are okay with a hybrid. So they're in the office and some flexibility.

But I want to focus on the 40% because here's what they said. They said that they're concerned about missing out on relationships and mentoring. So community in the office where I make connections out of relationships, which gives me the opportunity, by the way, to move up the ladder, and mentorship. Those were the two specifics that the 40% who said, we want to work full-time in the office. Now, I'm going to get you to weigh in on this because I find this to be not shocking,

but this is with 12% of the current workforce, non-Gen Z, the rest of them, millennials and up, 12% are saying, we'll go back to the office full-time. The rest want to work from home or certainly hybrid. So this is coming out of the pandemic where remote work is now dominating. People are not wanting to go back to work when they're being asked to work. They're going, no, I'll quit my job and deal with the whole job hunt rather than go back full time.

But these young people, John, I was thrilled. Way to go. They're seeing it. Why do relationships matter, John? They're not seeing it. They're feeling it. Thank you. You see that, though?

They want relationship. I noticed this. I got pretty nihilistic in 2010, 2011. I was a part of a university where they were piloting. They were handing all these students iPhones and handing them all iPads. And I began to watch them staring at these. We watched it before it became what it is now. And it was remarkable to see in short order young people playing games when they would all go out to dinner and they would say, hey, everybody puts their phone over here.

The first person who grabs it buys dinner. They started self-solving this problem because they grew up 10 years, 15 years. For most of us, this is new, right? This is five years, seven years, 10 years old. This is their whole life. And what they realized is I am missing everything. More importantly is I sleep better. I'm connected.

I learn more. You stuck me in front of a screen, schools and universities, for the last 15 years, and I learned nothing. I got no relationships. I got nothing. Here's the other thing. They know that relationships are how they learn, how they move up. They want people to pour into them.

They also said in this study, John, that they want their leaders to give them feedback face-to-face, eyeball-to-eyeball. So there is a craving that is not new to who we are. Folks, we are relational human beings. I'm not poo-pooing remote work, but leaders, pay attention. Gen Z may save the in-office workplace, John. Shocking. They're going to go create their own is what they're going to do. That's great.

More of your calls coming up. This is The Ramsey Show. People all over the country are discovering a faith-based and budget-friendly way of meeting health care costs through Christian Health Care Ministries. Christian Healthcare Ministries, or CHM, is a nonprofit organization that helps members carry one another's burdens with healthcare expenses, and they have successfully shared each other's medical bills for nearly 40 years. See if CHM is right for you by visiting chministries.org. CHM is a proud sponsor of Dave Ramsey Live Events.

The Ramsey Show continues. I'm Ken Coleman, joined by my colleague, John Deloney, and we are here for you. 888-825-5225. Taking your questions about life, taking your questions about your work and purpose taking questions about relationships taking questions about money

I mean we're just talking about the whole thing and so we're here for you always excited to be with my colleague Dr. John Deloney and if you want to check him out the Dr. John Deloney show new episodes every Monday, Wednesday and Friday on YouTube and anywhere you listen to podcasts. His book is Redefining Anxiety.

You can get it on Amazon, RamseySolutions.com, anywhere books are sold. His website, JohnDeloney.com. All right, let's get to the photos, 888-825-5225. Let's go to Bend, Oregon, where Tiara joins us. Tiara, how can we help? Hi. Thank you for taking my call. You bet.

I had a question about bringing in income as a single mom with three kids. My husband recently passed away. Oh, man. So sorry, Tira. How long ago? May 29th. Oh, my goodness. What happened, Tira?

He was diagnosed with colon cancer. And it was pretty quick. It was about um he was diagnosed last october and um and he passed away in may so yeah oh how old are your kids hon um five three and almost one. Do you have immediate family around you? I do. I'm actually staying with my husband's parents. Okay. So I just want to stop and just say I'm so sorry. This isn't supposed to be that way, and you know that, we know that,

and I'm so, so sorry. Thank you. Were you all able to have a service and a funeral? I know some parts of the country still haven't opened up completely. Yeah. Yeah, we were able to have a memorial service at a local church, and it was a real blessing. Good. It was help.

That time there was the hardest moments of your life, and I want you to rest assured that over the next few months and years, that time will become sacred. It will become holy time, and I'm glad you all did that. So what is the reality, the math problem here, the financial situation that you find yourself in? Yeah. So I guess the main – the issue that brings me to asking about generating income is really housing. We live in a red-hot market, as I know you know, and it's just crazy here.

And originally, my husband and I, we were saving for a house, and we don't have any debt, but we were camp hosting. It was a lot of fun, actually. And we were just putting money away and doing our camp hosting, and then he got his diagnosis, and that kind of turned everything on its head. So I am getting some money from social security. Um, and he did have a life insurance policy. Um, not a, not a massive policy, but, um, it is contestable. So I don't know if that will come through or not. Who's going to contest it?

Well, the, he got the policy, February, and he started experiencing some symptoms, some of his symptoms in May, which led to him looking into the doctor. But he had had some ongoing symptoms prior to that that weren't but it wasn't enough to drive him to sleep. Oh, gosh. So the insurance company is going to contest it. I thought you were talking about he's going to have a family member come out of the woodwork. No, no, no, no. Okay. No, I'm sorry.

But let me ask you this, Tara, and we'll get to your income stuff here, but this is so important. Do you have a sense? Are you just worried about this? Are you getting indicators that the insurance company is going to contest it, or are you just concerned that they will? They wouldn't give me a copy of his policy. Oh. Before I submitted the application, I would go see an attorney that was recommended by another attorney. And I wanted to have an attorney walk me through the process before I even sent them anything. Good for you. Good.

All right, so let's, from a math standpoint, let's look at this both ways. If you get the full insurance payout, what would it be, his life insurance? $100,000. Okay, $100,000. So we're going to look at variables here with the $100,000 and without because we've got to figure out the plan. What's the Social Security payment per month coming to you? $3,500, about.

$3,500. Okay. Yeah. And how much money had you all saved for a house down payment? Well, we had some for a house down payment? Well, we had some from a house that we had sold. So that would be not including investments, retirement accounts, and the emergency fund. Our savings is $110,000. Okay, great.

Okay. What's the situation? Okay, so income, I mean, with the kids being the age they are, have you even, and first of all, this is so fresh, so you don't have to have all this figured out, but how, I mean, you need to take some time on this, but we've got to figure out the child care situation. Or if you're going to work from home, even with you working from home, sweetheart, it's going to be hard with those kids that age. So we've got to be very realistic about the type of work that you can get that you can actually do. And so there's going to have to be some child distraction, is my point, in the form of child care. And I think you're going to have to figure that out because I don't want to put you,

go from extreme trauma and pain into tremendous frustration and desperation because it's going to be very hard to work at home with three little ones without child care. You've thought through that? Yes or no? Right. What do you have a solution there? Well, my mother-in-law, i'm living with my in-laws um at the moment and so um my they've been great by the way they've been really supportive really awesome um all of my family um immediate families in the area.

But I guess I would want to factor the cost of child care into the equation because I wouldn't want to just completely be dumping my kids on family all the time, if that makes sense. Oh, I totally get it. So let's back up for just a moment. You're getting $3,500 a month in Social Security payment. And if I understood this right, you were living in a camp, kind of hosting a camp. So you have little to no expenses right now other than food and clothing, insurance, stuff for the kids. So I really want you, you know, I don't know how long you've been listening to the Ramsey Show, but you really putting together an operating budget

based on the $3,500 and just a quick snapshot. Do you feel pretty comfortable that's going to take care of basic expenses for you? I would imagine that it is while you're still living with family. Right. Right. Oh, yeah. It will more than take care of any expenses. I have no debt or car payments or anything like that.

Yeah, I got Dave in my head, John, and I know you said this is too soon to make a big decision like this. Let's see how long we can camp out with family in the area and not worry about job and income. Let's get that figured out. And then the job, whether you work from home or you go back out of the workforce, you've got time. You've got $110,000 in the bank. I'd take your time. Was your plan to be a stay-at-home mom? Yes.

The original plan has always been, and I'm committed to homeschooling our kids. So here's the thing. Here's the thing. This is what Kim is talking about with time. You need six months, nine months. Here's the deal. Those commitments and those plans have absolutely changed. And you can stick to your principles.

You can stick to your guns. But everything in your home is different now. And that's what time the next three months, five months, six months are going to get you is understanding that you're going to get there. You're going to have some family support. Then you can start deciding what comes next. Take your time. Stay with family. Healing will come. You're going to have some family support. And then you can start deciding what comes next. Take your time. Stay with family.

Healing will come. Now we're so sorry, but you're in good shape. Breathe. Welcome back, America. You're listening to The Ramsey Show. I'm Ken Coleman, joined by my colleague Dr. John Deloney. And, Doc, this is fun. I've been hearing the news around the office.

It's popping up all over social. You've got some fun stuff coming up. We've got a fun event. Are you and Ray ray teaming back up again yes me and rachel cruz so we're six months after the end of what was 2020 and everyone said now we'll just quote unquote get back to normal and our marriages are going to go back to just the way they were and if you're like me i don't know know how y'all are doing. We all just tried to get it all back in one month or two, and it's just turned to an exciting time for marriages. That's one way of putting it.

That's the nicest way I can say this on public radio. So, Rachel Cruz and I, this Friday night, July 16th, join me and Rachel for a Money in Marriage livestream event. This is all new content, all new stuff. We're going to teach you how to navigate the top challenges married couples face today when it comes to money, relationships, sex, what to do next. You'll learn how to get clear on what you need from your partner, how the two of you can have better conversations, what y'all can do next.

For all you Ramsey Plus members, you have access to this event as part of your Ramsey Plus membership. If you're not a Ramsey Plus member, the Money in Marriage live stream is on sale for 30 bucks. That's a date. That's it. Go to RamseySolutions.com slash marriage.

Y'all can have a great date, learn about each other. I'm going to give you some tools. Rachel's going to give you some tools. It's going to help your marriage get over where it's at now and really accelerate into awesomeness down the road. Now, I'm glad you mentioned that it's a date because I want people who are hearing this to go,

okay, a marriage event on a Friday night? No, no, no. This will be fun. Yeah. No, it's a blast. It's hilarious. You and Rachel, great fun personalities. I know these folks personally.

They're a lot of fun, and it comes out in the event. It really is fun and, of course, very practical and hopeful. And, guys, can I just speak to dudes for a second? You're an idiot if you don't do this. This is a great way to win with the wife. Hey, babe, I signed us up for a great, fun event. Does it want to do better? Hey, that's a win.

You're always talking about this, Rachel Cruz, and I want to learn how to be a better husband. I thought, and guys, I'm going to set you up to win. $30, John. I'm setting you up to win. Just trust me. Yeah. Would you just show up and take notes? Yes.

And wives, just say, hey, we're doing this. Just say we're doing this. $30. I can't guilt the wives. I can guilt the dudes. That's right. You don't need to guilt the wives. It's good stuff. This is an easy win. Lots of laughs. Lots of fun. It's going to be fun. We're going to have a blast. It is't guilt the wives. I can guilt the dudes. That's right. You don't need to guilt the wives. It's good stuff.

Lots of laughs. Lots of fun. It's going to be fun. We're going to have a blast. It is going to be fun. Alright, let's get to the phones, John. The phone number is 888-825- 5225. That's 888-825- 5225. Mike is in

the home of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Am I right about this? Cleveland, Ohio. All right, Mike, what's up? Hello, Mike. Hi, Dr. John. Hi, Dr. John and Ken. How are you?

Well, we're having a blast. What's up? Very good. I'll make this quick for you. I'm 32 and my wife is 31. We're in baby steps four, five, and six, and we have an annual income of 220,000. We have one child and currently have one more on the way. And over the next year or so, we'd like to buy a new car for myself. So the current car I've been driving has been paid off for the last

10 years that I've owned it. And I would like to get something bigger. So we've been saving on the side milling that we'd like to make this purchase and can obviously be able to pay cash for it. But the vehicle I'd like to purchase used is still about $50,000 to $60,000. It doesn't break Dave's 50% rule, but I'm still having some heartburn about writing a check for that kind of money towards just a vehicle and not putting it towards that 4, 5, and 6. How much do you have saved?

Probably about 45 already. So you're really close. So you got your emergency fund funded. You don't have any consumer debt. Yes, we funded emergency fund and no consumer debt whatsoever. And you met Dave's ratio of the percentage. So, John, this is psychological here. I'm going'll turn this one over to you what kind of car do you want uh a gmc denali or a cadillac escalator oh man these are fine machines john he's balling and

shot calling with 20 inch blades hey so what do you do for a living man uh i work in government service and my wife is a human resources manager okay buy the car so i i'm a bad guy to ask and here's why the car i drive an 06 right now i love it it's just putting along um my wife drives a 2010 she actually said the other day for christmas could we for god's sake please my son is about eight feet tall now and he looks like fred flintstone in the car um so i'm not a great person to ask. I'm like you. If I've got $40,000 and I'm sitting there staring it down to ride it, that would be hard.

On the other side of it, yeah, the ratios work out in your favor. You make a great salary. You have no debt. You're working four, five, and six, and you've saved up cash to buy this car. What's holding you back? The thought of the interest and next 16 to 18 years of what that money put towards putting the kids through college could do. So just do a thought experiment. So what's it like buying a 4Runner?

Do you feel like a failure or a loser? No. Are you going to need a car eventually? Let's say we don't buy this now and you put that money in a great investment portfolio and it's making all that interest that you're laying awake at night being guilty over. At what point do you need to get a car anyway? At some point, you're going to need another car, yes or no? Eventually, but what I have now, I could probably ride out easily for a few more years i get it so i said this is one of those things john where this is there's no right or wrong here yeah go

with your heart man don't feel guilty if you go buy a nice car don't feel guilty for a second if you hold on to that money don't feel guilty but you know what though i'm gonna have some fun here with mike of course the other day mike you're not doing anything wrong here you saved up for this you're really really close but why don't saved up for this. You're really, really close. But why don't you meet yourself in the middle for one more scenario? You've probably done this. But I'm going, let me look at what 25 is going to get me, and then I take the other 20 and I invest that.

Have you done that? I have, yeah. I haven't looked too much, but I've thought about the same thing. All right. Point is, there's no right or wrong here. Yeah, you can't lose here, man. Follow your heart. You're a good man. By the way, congratulations.

Let's not move too quickly past the fact that you make really good money and you're in baby steps four, five, and six, and you've saved $45,000 for a replacement car. Mike, relax. Stop beating yourself up. Dr. John, there's got a replacement car. Mike, relax. Stop beating yourself up. Dr. John, there's got to be something else here, man. I think there's more than just the interest. I think he's worked so hard to save up money and walk through the baby steps,

and he's looking at that check and he's going, if I write a check that big, I just feel like a jerk. Yeah, well, it's that. We see this all the time. Absolutely. And, man, I'll tell you i'm not good i struggle with it get it you're like who am i to be driving a car with x y and z somebody who freaking earned it and somebody who paid for it saved up and struggled and sacrificed that's

right what about that part john for those of us who uh who practice self-flogging on a regular basis we don't we don't think about the positive side, right? Well, true. And I think there's some of us that may be a little tougher. Boy, am I the worst. I mean, I'm rough. We've talked about that. But I also think this isn't just self-flogging. This is also discipline. And then he's going, if I spend

this on a really nice car, I think he feels frivolous as opposed to frugal. And he's going, the frugal call is to invest all this money. It messes with the identity he's cultivated to protect himself, which is, I'm disciplined. I don't need. I've got a 10-year-old car. That's beautiful.

And it's hard to roll out of that, right? Say that one more time. I said that identity he's cultivated protects him from himself, which is, I'm frugal. I don't have to do those things that those people do. And suddenly you look up and you're making $250,000. And uh-oh, you're one of those people. It turns out those are good people too. They're great people also.

The reason I asked you to repeat that, that was haunting. I think that's right on. When you get gazelle intense, you do take on an identity. You have to. You have to. And then the shedding of that identity when you get out of there, boy, that is tough. We hear it all, but I've never heard you say that. I've never heard it put that way.

But boy, that is tough to take off that one mask or that hat, if you will. We're not implying that you're not being authentic. But this idea of I've been in this, this is who I've been, and all of a sudden I can be this other person. That feels wrong. It reminds me of my childhood. We didn't have a lot growing up. My parents worked their butts off, but we didn't have anything. I agree.

I created an identity, which was I would never be that person. I would never buy a car like that. And now suddenly, why have I spent my life judging those folks? Quick question. If you could afford it in the ratio, everything that he could, you almost have to do it to shed the old identity. Yes or no? I'm not saying moral imperative. That's what I would tell somebody if I was coaching them. I think you have to. You will go do it. Yeah. You have to do it to shed the old identity, yes or no? I'm not saying moral imperative. That's what I would tell somebody if I was coaching them.

I think you have to. You will go do it, yeah. You have to. Yeah. And, of course, this is said with the fact that he can do it. That's right. That's right. He's done it the right way.

Don't forget that. All right. He is John Deloney. I'm Ken Coleman, and you're listening to The Ramsey Show America. Thrilled to have you with us. I'm Ken Coleman, joined bysey Show, America. Thrilled to have you with us. I'm Ken Coleman, joined by my colleague, Dr. John Deloney, and we're taking your calls this hour. Of course, about your life and your money,

but we kind of specialize in our area. John is in relationships and life and that mental and emotional component to the journey, and I'm helping you figure out what were you born to do? Why are you just working if it's just for a paycheck? I want to help you go from paycheck to purpose. So we'll take those calls if you've got a toxic situation, a leadership situation. It's kind of nasty.

We love to take on those together. And so we'll take them. Whoever you are, wherever you are, whatever you've got going on, we're here for you. 888-825-5225. 888-825-5225. 888-825-5225. John, I know you and I are both super proud of our colleague, Christy Wright, who's a national bestselling author and, of course, a colleague as a Ramsey personality. Oh, man, she's been working hard on an awesome, awesome new project.

It is her latest book, Take Back Your Time, The Guilt-Free Guide to Life Balance. And it is now available for pre-sale. This book came out of Chrissy's real-life struggles for years. She was running on empty and stretched way too thin. Why? Because, wow, she was a mom of three, is a mom of three, and she knew that something had to change.

So she dug deep and figured out where she was being overwhelmed, how she was overcommitting, and she discovered that balance is about doing the right things at the right time, and you get to decide what's right for you. So this is not a productivity – I can't say that, John, so it's certainly not that. It's not a productivity book. I didn't turn my microphone on. Yeah. It's not one of those lame, how to get balanced, find the right circles or triangles. This is a no BS, no bull crap. This is like how to get your time and your life back.

Step-by-step plan for intentionality where you really do feel like you are in control of your time. We all have way more than we realize. So we want you to stop living burned out and feel balanced. Go to the online store at RamseySolutions.com. That's RamseySolutions.com. Pre-order your copy of Christy's new book, Take Back Your Time, today. And when you do, you're going to get over $50 of free bonus items. We're really proud of Christy.

This is really, really good stuff. So dudes out there, you got the wife with the multiple kids one kid it doesn't matter do you do you do yourself a favor by doing your wife a favor get it yourself it works this is i've got to read this book this isn't a female no it's not a female based book but guys hey trust me i got listen we got three kids summer is busier than the school year oh man because the wife is driving the kids all over the place so you, you know, there's so much goodness in this for men, for women. It's just really, really great if you're feeling like you're not controlling your time very well. So congratulations to Christy on that.

888-825-5225. Let's go to Elijah who joins us in Traverse City, Michigan. Elijah, how can we help? Hey, thanks for having me on, guys. You bet. What's up? I'm having difficulty with an inconsistent income. Hey, Elijah, sorry to interrupt you, buddy. Can you just maybe adjust that phone a little closer to your mouth

to see if we can hear you better? You're a bit muffled. Is this better? Not really. Let's try one more time. How about this? We'll try to make it work. John's younger than me, and his ears are better, so we've got that going for us. What do we got for you?

As a teenager, I have an inconsistent income right now, and I'm having trouble budgeting it. You're a teenager with an inconsistent income, and you're having trouble budgeting. What are you budgeting for? Just saving, spending, giving. Okay. Tell us what this is. Give us a range of income. How inconsistent is it?

Maybe give us a top-end, low-end in a given month. Given month? I make at least $1,000 a month, but, I mean, it could go anywhere. I mean, I work for myself i mean um auto detail did you say auto detailing yes sir okay so i'll tell you what i think we got enough here having a hard time hearing you uh so as a teenager john i mean he doesn't have many expenses other than what i heard saving for probably maybe future car, college. And he's got some spending expenses.

Making $1,000 a month, yeah. So the advice I would give on this young man is you've got to base it on what I would call a median, and I'd go to the low end of the median. So let's say over the last three to six months is where I would start, and you know your auto detailing business. And I would go high month and look at a low month, kind of average them together. You know how to do that. And we go, okay, this is probably a moderate projection, and let's go on the low end. So let's just say it comes out to be $1,000.

Is your average over the last three to six months? I would budget off of that. And that, again, is adjustable, my friend. So if you have a month where you only bring in $600, it's not the end of the world. Your mom and dad are taking care of all your expenses. You just adjust the budget each month. And I love that you took the time

to call the show. That tells me you're a very earnest young man. You're very serious, very disciplined. This is a great experience for him if he eventually becomes an entrepreneur where you have, if you're a straight commission salesperson. We've coached people on this

for many, many decades here on the show. That income is fluctuating, and so you have to kind of ride the wave a little bit by being very, very disciplined for a while until you get stable enough. In your situation, stability is not the issue. You just want to be smart. So you get a low month, adjust the spending percentage. You got a higher month, you want to spend a little bit more, great. Be very consistent on the saving, though. There you've got a low month, adjust the spending percentage. You've got a higher month, want to spend a little bit more, great. Be very consistent on the saving, though. There you go. I like the consistency on the saving. Yeah, and then everything else kind of rolls around that. But hey, thanks for the call,

Elijah. Really proud of you. I hate that we couldn't hear him very well. I'd love to know more about what he's doing. I love when we get calls from teenagers. These are the, they're raring. They're like, I want a little bit more. I worked really hard as a teenager with the one goal of spending it all that weekend and then starting again the next weekend.

And I dare not ask what you were spending that on. Let's go to Jordan in Columbus, Ohio. Jordan, how can we help? Hey, guys. Nice talking to you today. Thanks for taking my call. You bet. And my question has to do with relocating.

I am wondering, is it wrong to move to a different state just because you don't particularly like the state that you're living in? No. No. Move. All right. That's a good answer so far. I've been in Columbus now for about five years. I grew up around mountains and around the ocean and kind of wanted to get back to an environment more like that

for a while now. But I do have three kids, and I'm married, and there's the relationship aspect and friends and family. Jordan, if you are miserable at your home, the people who wear that the most are your wife and your children. And so you can say, hey, you can be a martyr and say, I'm just staying put for them. Or you can sit down with your wife and say, I miss the mountains.

I miss the ocean. I miss living in a place where I feel alive, where I can take our boys fishing, where I can go hiking, where I can do all these things. And I would love to create a plan that doesn't have to happen today, but a plan the next six months, the next year, the next two years, that will get us back there. Jordan, have you sat down and had that conversation? Yeah.

And what is your wife's position? Well, my wife is more about the relationships than the place, and I understand that. And I wouldn't say I'm miserable. I'm okay. Does she have family in Columbus? Yes. Do you have family in Columbus?

No. Ah, now we're getting into a marriage conversation here. Yeah, listen, this is a marriage conversation. You've got to cast a vision. John, I'll let you come in, and the finer points here, we only this is a marriage conversation. You've got to cast a vision. John, I'll let you come in and define your points here. We only have about a minute, but you've got to cast a vision as to why she's got to get on board with your vision. You can't force her into this. That's not a good move.

Absolutely not. And you've got to be willing to be vulnerable and open and honest. Crazy vulnerable. And that's like, I want to be here. Maybe that's you two taking a vacation to a place. Maybe that's you looking at some real estate, y'all going to visit. This is a longer-term conversation. But I'll tell you this, your martyrdom, I guess is the way to say that,

you just saying, well, I'm just going to be here, turns into frustration, and that frustration turns into anger, and that anger turns into resentment, and everybody loses. I would also say beyond the family ties, I would sit down with your wife and show her you're willing to listen to her fears. There are some other fears associated with change. Absolutely. And leaving your family. I've got three small kids.

You've got to honor that. So don't just all be about your vision. I didn't add the second part, but you better find out what she's afraid of, and to that end, answer the fears. But even then, if you got the answer before she has it, you better be patient, my man. But you live in a snapshot of history that you can move where you want

to live in the United States. So if you want to move somewhere, move somewhere. Hang on the line. Let's get you all some tickets to Money in Marriage this Friday. That might help things get started. Kelly will do that. That's going to all some tickets to Money and Marriage this Friday. That might help things get started. Well played, Ken. Kelly will do that. That's going to be a great event.

You better show up. All right. Hey, I want to thank John Deloney, my colleague. Always fun, pal. I want to thank our producer, James Childs, and Kelly Daniel. But you, America, is who we thank the most. It's your show. This is The Ramsey Show.

This is James Childs, producer of The Ramsey Show. Did you know The Ramsey Show is one of the most popular podcasts in the world? Subscribe or follow today wherever you listen to podcasts.