The Ramsey Show - App - I'm Afraid My Grandmother Is Being Manipulated by Her Caretaker (Hour 1)

Episode Date: January 28, 2021

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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host, Rachel Cruz. Ramsey personality, number one best-selling author, is my co-host today. As we take your questions and your about life and about money. Open phones at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225.

Aaron is in Gainesville, Florida. Hi, Aaron. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hey, Dave and Rachel. I'm so glad I get to talk to you guys. This is great. Honored to speak with you, sir. How can we help? Awesome. So I'm 22 years old, and I'm currently a graduate student. They pay for my tuition and everything, so I'm not taking on more debt. And I get paid $25,000 a year as a stipend. I have $37,000

worth of debt from my my undergrad and i do doordash on the side sometimes too so i probably made a little more than 25 last year but anyways what are you studying uh aerospace engineering good for you well done yeah yeah so um i have to clarify i'm not completely following your biscuit recipe to a T. I have been trading in the markets over the past few months, and I'm very lucky to say that as of this morning, I profited $47,000 in GameStop stock, and I cashed out of it completely. I currently have an ACH transfer on the way to my bank,

and I'd love to wipe out that $37,000 worth of debt. But I am a natural spender, and I've never seen this much money in my life. So I'd like your advice on what to do with the rest of it. So you don't follow my advice about investing, but you want my advice on what to do with the money you made when you got the luckiest hit of your freaking life. I suppose, yeah. Yeah, I definitely agree with you. How much did you invest to make $46,000 on GameStop? It was about $5,000.

I'm so glad for you, and I'm really glad you got out. I'm really glad you got out because the guys are going to take a spanking on this before it's over. Because obviously the capitalization at this current rate, the company's not worth anywhere near that. It's lost money for two years, as you know. You know the story. How many years left, Aaron, do you have in grad school? I'm just curious. I have, it's about three.

Three or more years. And you got this fellowship all the way through with the stipend and everything? What's that? You have the fellowship all the way through. You mean you have the stipend and the scholarship all set up all the way through? Yes, and there's a potential I get a raise but uh it's dependent on a few factors we'll see what happens okay my normal answer would be set the 46 000 aside let your student loans lay there to ensure that you finish grad school without any debt but with your misbehavior patterns, your tendency to spend and to gamble,

I'm probably going to just pay off your student loans, and that way it won't get away from you. Okay. And what I like to do is I like to look at myself in the mirror and say, these are my weak spots. What kind of system can I put in place to offset my weak spots? And I just called yours out. And the system would be paying off the student loans. So either one of those answers is going to be fine.

And, you know, you've got the same problem that Rachel had when she hit good on the craps table. She's addicted, you know. I'm not addicted. I do love craps, though. Oh, yeah. Once every three crafts, though. Oh, yeah. So once once every three years, people. Yeah. Once every three years.

But I mean, you know, and Rachel's mom hit with some quarters on the slot machine one time on the you know, and made 50 bucks on the on the cruise one time. And it cost me 500 before she quit putting quarters in there. So that's the problem. That's the problem you got, because 78% of the day traders lose money. And you just got caught in an iconic story and made bank. I mean, you made 10X. I'm really glad for you. I mean, I'm not wishing bad things on you.

Because you can use this and in a snap advance your future financially. I mean, you could be on Baby Step 4 because you used the rest to put in your future financially. I mean, like, you could be on Baby Step 4. I mean, because you use the rest to put in your emergency funds. So, like, look at this GameStop stock as taking you to Baby Step 4 automatically. Yeah. And then that's it. And then go back to the old school, okay, we're going to invest, we're going to be wise over the long term. Because that's what it is.

Okay, explain. Okay, so the deal is when you do day trading, eight out of ten people lose money. It's that simple. It's a high-risk play. It literally is walking up to the craps table and dropping four grand on there, five grand on there, and you walk away with $46,000.

Does that make that a good idea? No, it does not, just because you beat the system one time. And the danger is when you beat the system one time. And the danger is when you beat the system one time, you think you've got the recipe. I'm great at craps. That's what I believe. Yeah, that's what you believe. And it's a roll of a dice. Nobody can be good at it. It's not even a skill game. So there you go. Yeah. Hot hands with the dice. There's a way to hold the dice. Yeah, right. Yeah, that's, yeah. See, there you go. This is the problem with it right here. So what's happened with GameStop, for those of you that don't know,

there's a group of guys and gals on Reddit that do some investing, some day trading. And GameStop is a game company where you go and buy video games. Physically walk into a store and buy a video game. And most video games are now downloaded, and so their business model is blockbuster. After Netflix came along, they're screwed, and they've lost money the last two years, and they're projected to lose money for the next two years. In other words, they're projected to go out of business. Their stock was trading down around $20, and a bunch of big fat cats on Wall Street started projected to lose money for the next two years. In other words, they're projected to go out of business.

Their stock was trading down around $20, and a bunch of big fat cats on Wall Street started shorting the stock, which means taking a position, betting that the stock was going to go down, and they make money if it goes down, which is a pretty safe bet because the thing is imploding, and the company's not even worth $20 a share in its current state. And so these hedge fund fat cats are doing this. So these guys on Reddit, which are kind of, they're fun. They're a bunch of rebels.

And they decide, we're going to get together and we're going to screw over these hedge fund guys. And so they all start buying GameStop stock and run the price up. And they ran it up from $20 to five hundred dollars a share which screwed the fat cats because that short positions all those margin calls came in and they lost their butts probably lost a billion dollars on it uh the wall street fat cats and so these young rebel you know their little reddit revolutionaries is what they're they're fun but the the uh you know and they some of them have made some money this guy guy made money. Oh, yes. Made $46,000. Way to go.

That's awesome. But, I mean, just because you hit it, you know, you go into the market and you take a lotto ticket and you scratch and you make 50 grand, that does not make that an investment strategy. That means you were so lucky that, you know, you beat all the statistical odds and you don't want that to be your investment strategy. So don't follow this weird little moment in time and make it your new retirement, your new plan, a wealth building plan. You know how much money I put in GameStop? Zero. I know. I don't do this stuff.

Let's talk about single stocks and stuff when we come back, though. OK. Just for questions. So anyway, it's kind of fun to watch the little guys knock out the big fat cats and not get them. But some of you little guys. And AMC is happening right now. Yeah.

They're messing with some other companies. AMC's losing their butt because movies are so yesterday. AMC stocks don't. And so unbelievable. And yeah. So guys like Aaron got out in time. You guys are still screwing around with it. You're going to take a spanking if you don't get out of there.

This thing's going to give you a spanking. It's coming. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. 2021 is finally here, which means 2020 is over. And now you get to decide how this year goes. Rachel Cruz's new book, Know Yourself, Know Your Money, is also finally here. And this book will help guide you to faster progress with your money, no matter which baby step you're on. For years, we've taught you that personal finance is 20% head knowledge and 80% behavior.

This is the book for helping you grow and control your behavior. Know Yourself, Know Your Money goes beyond the baby steps and gets to the root of your money choices and mistakes. 2020 probably gave you a pretty clear view at what your personal money fears are. This book will help you channel those into a healthy money mindset so you can make 2021 a year worth celebrating. Get your copy of Know Yourself yourself know your money today at the online store at daveramsey.com or call our ramsey concierge team at 888-227-3223 Reginald Cruz, Ramsey personality, number one bestselling author and bestselling author of the new book, Know Yourself, Know Your Money.

Discover why you handle money the way you do and what to do about it. Jump in and check that out. It'll change everything on the way you look at things, and that's very, very important. So let's do continue that out. It'll change everything on the way you look at things, and that's very, very important. So let's do continue that discussion. We don't usually do that many teaching segments in a row, but I think it's good to do this because this is such a hot topic right now. The GameStop stock. But what it illustrates is whether it's the lotto, whether it's playing single stocks, whether it's gambling and playing the roulette wheel or craps or whatever, there's a thrill that comes with the risk that releases the dopamine and releases the proteins and the enzymes into your body.

And that's why gambling is addictive. Yeah. And because there's literally a, you know, a flood of. It's adrenaline. Your body creates a flood of drugs. Yeah. Adrenaline and other things and a physical reaction in your body when you're doing this. So these guys are having a rush right now, riding this little thing they've created. They really are.

And it's not a little thing. It's a big thing. Right, right. They are doing this but what you can't do is confuse that get rich quick thing with the mentality that you know get rich quick or get rich easy suddenly without effort uh with an actual plan to become wealthy because there's no evidence anywhere in any data that shows that people starting from you know nothing like i did and becoming wealthy did it using that mentality the get rich quick mentality instead leads you to buy nothing down real estate and you go broke. Yeah.

Me. I did that. Okay. Or leads you to play single stocks or day trade or Bitcoin or that's what's driving this. A lot of these things are gambling, playing, you know, gambling on football games. Sports. Sports gaming is a huge mammoth industry now. Yep.

And it's all the same thing. I'm trying to find an easy way to make a lot of money quickly. And the problem is that not only the philosophy of that is bad, the theology of that is bad, but there's no data to back up your plan. There's no one that does it and it works out and that's what scares me yes people put all their eggs in that kind of basket right and they're thinking oh if i could just just figure this out it's all gonna be good it's all gonna be okay and the pattern shows over history it's not like building well it's not gonna work we say it all

the time it's boring the majority of millionaires in that study that we did here 8 000 millionaires or 12 10 000 millionaires they were millionaires because they had a paid for home and a great 401k they've invested over the long time over a long period of time so like none of them said they made it with options puts calls playing commodities right uh you know and it's not as exciting but it's okay so tell me this because people do ask a lot or ask me hey you know gosh i really i kind of want to like get into single stocks or or i do i enjoy gambling is that okay all that here's my philosophy tell me if i'm wrong when your mindset is hey i am doing the plan i'm going to continue to invest in my retirement like

my overall philosophy is this now if you want to take some money and think okay yeah i'm going to continue to invest in my retirement. Like my overall philosophy is this. Now, if you want to take some money and think, okay, yeah, I'm going to Vegas. I want to gamble some and having the mentality that that money, instead of buying a concert ticket or instead of doing an experience that comes out of your entertainment envelope, not your investment category. I was going to say though, is that you have the emotional capacity to say, if this money is gone, it's fine because I'm just doing it for entertainment. Yes. I'm not doing it to build wealth.

Yep. But would you say the same with single stocks? If someone's like, I just want to take a few hundred bucks and kind of just like play around with single stocks because it's fun. The problem is there's what is, you know, it's OK to do it, but you just got to guard your mind and your heart to say, why is that entertaining? What is it? And so what's happening inside of me that makes losing money entertaining? Because that's what you're going to do. You're going to come home with Rachel in Vegas.

You're going to come home without the money. Yeah. Yeah. Nine times out of 10. Right. And that's why we're calling it entertainment. Right. Because it's not a legitimate investment vehicle.

Okay? Because it doesn't have any data to back up people building wealth using it. Now, do people get rich quick occasionally? Yeah, but they almost never keep it. So, in other words... Because it's a greedy, almost a greedy... Well, here's an example, okay? What if you said, okay, I'm going to buy some lotto tickets because that's fun.

And I'm going to buy that out of my entertainment envelope instead of my investment category. OK, and, you know, you're one of the rare people that actually do that. And you emotionally protect yourself and you spiritually protect your heart so that you don't really think you're going to win. And you hit a million dollars. The divorce rate among lotto winners is tenfold the national average. The bankruptcy rate within ten years of hitting the lotto is tenfold the national average. Ten X. Now, why is it that people at the lotto get bankrupt and divorce divorce more often than those that don't?

Ten times more likely. What's going on inside you? Yeah. And the very thing that caused you to think that that was a valid process is the same thing is going to cause you to be stupid again and call it a valid process. And so you just it's just dangerous territory. It's thin ice and so i mean uh i i it is not entertaining to me to lose money so i don't grasp the concept personally but i'm not such a snot that if you want to go to vegas and lose some money at the crap tables i'm not

gonna be mad at you and you call that entertainment with your girlfriend trip or whatever okay but the the what you really can never allow to happen is for your brain to start to tell itself that this actually works yep because if you ever start to tell yourself this actually works you are screwed you know you're in trouble so yeah single stocks included i mean yeah here let me give you a statistic interesting wall street Wall Street Journal did this years ago. They took a monkey and blindfolded it and handed it darts, and they had all the stocks on the wall, and the blindfolded monkey threw darts and picked stocks wherever the dart hit. They got three of the top guys on Wall Street to pick any single stock

or any three single stocks that they wanted to pick to compete with the blindfolded monkey's dart portfolio. Of the three top guys in the world on Wall Street, the blindfolded monkey beat two of them. He beat two of them. Now, that's how ludicrous the idea is is that you're going to screw around with single stocks and actually win okay i know a lot about this subject i intellectually academically been licensed in all this stuff and i don't screw with it because i know a lot about right so you know you can do it and call It Fun, and you can put it in your entertainment envelope if you want to.

And when people really got the Jones for a single stock, they work for a company, the company's doing real well, and they want to buy stock in their company, I always tell folks, never have more than 10% of your net worth in single stocks, with the caveat that I don't buy single stocks. I don't own any single stocks, not one. I had some given to me, and I sold them. You know? I just, no.

So if you want to do it, no more than 10%. Why? Because you're probably going to lose it, and you're still going to have 90% of your wealth after you lose it. Yeah, yeah. Or it's going to underperform at a minimum. Whatever your little day trade. You know, I have a trading account with my broker, so I can talk about it when I go golfing.

You know, what a bunch of crap. You know, I bought a little Cracker Barrel today. Well, I ate at Cracker Barrel today. That makes us equal. Oh, my God. It's unbelievable, you know? So it's just, that's what's going on. And it's just dangerous as crud because of the way your brain chemistry works.

It's addictive. I mean, it's, yeah, it's all of the way your brain chemistry works. It's addictive. I mean, it's, yeah, it's all of it. It's exciting. It doesn't make you feel any better that when I went to Vegas on my girls' trip a few years ago, I had an envelope with cash that was the amount of money I was going to spend gambling. And once it was gone, it was going to be gone. And I wasn't worried about it. And then I had another envelope that any time I won, I put it in the other envelope.

And then when that ran out, by golly. You came home with your winnings. My airline tickets. See what I mean? My airline tickets. This is the case study of what I tell you the problem is right here. I evened out, and then I got a little bit more. You did the worst possible thing that could have happened.

You have the idea that you beat the system. I'm kidding. Oh, my gosh. But I had an envelope. Made it better. Yeah, that's solved. That makes it all okay. As long as you got the system. I'm kidding. Oh, my gosh. But I had an envelope. Made it better. Yeah, that's all. That makes it all okay. As long as you got an envelope.

And you're right. Okay. Obviously. Okay. It's all good. It's all good. Have fun. Have fun, boys and girls.

This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Over the years, I've heard countless horror stories from listeners about being harassed by debt collectors, receiving calls at work on their cell phones, and some even getting yelled at and threatened. That is not okay. There are laws against this, and there are people, attorneys, that can help make this stop if they are in fact breaking the law. Go to collectionbully.com to learn more. Fill out a quick questionnaire that will identify if you are a victim of this type of illegal harassment. That's collectionbully.com. Before we go to our lobby guest, I was just scanning through Twitter, something I hardly ever do these days. But I thought after our little GameStop discussion I would see.

And it went down way before we even started doing discussions. So it's pretty funny. All the guys are saying stuff like they're making hedge fund manager jokes that how they're going to pay off all their debt that they've lost their money. Dave Ramsey's going to tell you to sell your car. Dave Ramsey's going to. It's really pretty funny. It's cute.

Very cute. And some idiots thought that I would actually come out on the side of the hedge fund managers. Why would I come out on the side of hedge fund managers? I'm actually not on any of your old side. I just spent 30 minutes telling you not to do what any of you were doing so but um it's still fun to watch the whole drama unfold and i'm glad some of you little guys made money that's awesome i never against somebody making money i'm just against you doing it in a way that causes you to lose it later and continue in bad systems kenneth and libby are with us in the lobby. Yes. Speaking of winning. Yeah.

Right here on the debt-free stage to do your debt-free scream. Where do you guys live? Amarillo, Texas. All right. Welcome to Nashville. How much debt did you guys pay off? We paid off $105,694 in 32 months. Good for you. And your range of income during that time?

Between $65,000 and $85,000. Very cool. Good for you. What do of income during that time between 65 and 85 000 very cool good for you what do you guys do for a living i'm a hairstylist and my husband is a supervisor for a check distribution center in amarillo cool very good what kind of debt was this 106 000 it was a $106,000. It was like three cars and 12 credit cards and just personal loans. Just really bad stuff. You're kind of just normal. Yes, sir. Just like three cars. You got a teenager or something?

Well, we did. We did have one at home when we first started. Okay. All right. Very good. So what happened to you guys 32 months ago that put you on this journey? Well, at the beginning

of 2017, I had a client give me the Money Makeover book. And so I read it and I'm like, oh, this is probably my answer because I did have, we had 12 credit cards. 10 of them were mine. And he didn't know about it.

Oh, wow. So I read the book. I told him about it. And he's like, I don't think so. So I was like, okay, I'm going to make the change. So I got another job. Like I said, I got full clientele. And so I got a job for a salon manager at a place.

And so I was working both jobs. And then in October, our friends were hosting FPU at the house. So I'm like, okay, I figured he's going to do it because it's our friends, right? Well, he kicked and screamed until we got there in our first class. And when you hit us with scripture, Dave, he was hooked. Wow. Yes. Wow. So. Wow. So what changed in you?

So you, I thought you were going to be more the nerd, but like the way you said the numbers, I was like, you know, every single dollar. So I thought, oh,

he jacked her. But the spender, with 10 credit cards, you were the one that like, okay, we got to clean this up. So, so what hit in you?

Scripture, obviously, I know, but like, what was it? Was it a level of, obviously, I know. But like, what was it? Was it a level of, yeah, was it a level of conviction? Or what was that feeling? It was a feeling of not living scripturally.

You know, we were more being the borrower, slave to the lender. We were tired of being slave to this system here. We wanted to be more godly and more Christian-like. So we knew when you first started talking to Scripture, we had to make sure that we were living that type of lifestyle. Yet God's lifestyle. I mean, as Christians, we're supposed to be like Christ. So to be like Christ, we do his word.

We're obedient to his word. That's powerful. That's interesting. So you were, Kenneth, you were like me i guess you were probably just suspicious that this whole thing was like some kind of scam or something yes sir i mean i would be that's how i am yes i immediately assumed the worst i have the spiritual gift of cynicism yeah i just uh to me sometimes if it's too good to be true yeah it usually isn't you know true so i was real skeptical and then as we were going through it there was just times that I just, to me, sometimes if it's too good to be true, it usually isn't, you know, true.

So I was real skeptical. And then as we were going through it, there was just times that the light bulb would just hit on, you know, especially we were talking about the banks and that their house was bigger. And I work at a print shop, and literally I could look out my window of my work, and I could see, you know, the big old banks out there. And I realized I lived in a $40,000 home, and I had debt, and they lived in these big old 12, 20 story, you know, buildings. And it was just, it just all came. It just clicked. I realized I was serving this world instead of helping the kingdom of God.

So at that point you guys left the FPU class. So you got in the car and you're driving home and are you both just kind of game on at that point? Like, all right, we're going to change. We're going to do something different. Yes, ma'am. Yes, our first budget meeting when everything came out, the truth came out, and how much we really had is when he's like, okay, well, this is not on. And he did. He said, this is not on you. This is on me because I am the leader of the house.

So we're going to do this together. And we've never looked back. We've coordinated two FPUs at our church you guys are probably rock star coordinators this is incredible we hope so

we hope so we want to be an example we want to be the example for those who do take it I think we're going to start a class from Kenneth on how to be a husband. He's a pretty incredible dude. He's pretty incredible. He is awesome.

So Libby, so you had some hidden. So talk to people out there because this is a very real thing. A lot of people do. They hide their spending because they don't want to confront and have the conflict with their spouse. They don't want their spouse to judge them. I mean, that's a very normal conversation, sadly, in America today. So what would you say to a wife or a husband out there that's listening that has hidden credit cards?

They hide purchases from their spouse. What encouragement would you have to say, oh, come clean and come together and work as a team? Yeah, just that. I mean, get yourself a Kenneth. First of all. But it's so much more freedom when your other spouse knows that you do have all of this hidden stuff that you're shopping and you

shouldn't be shopping. Oh, that's new. No, I just haven't worn it before. Just come clean. It's so much free. Jesus comes to set us free, right? So why are we bounded up in chains? Yes. So a lot of people we talk to that go through FPU or they work this plan and they get out of debt,

they say on the other end, yeah, we're debt-free, we have no debt, and our marriage is even better. And we're like, well, it's not a marriage class, right? It's a money class. So talk about that aspect for you guys. As a married couple, what did it do to your marriage? I would say it strengthened our marriage. It took away the division, you know, the secrecy of it. Like for me to step up and say, hey, I'm the spiritual leader of the home. That was on me because if I'm the leader of the home, then I should have known what was going on to finances. And she had her own business, which, you know, was a hair.

So we had two different bank accounts, but that still wasn't any excuse not to be engaged in that. So as a husband, you need to learn to be more engaged and have that open communication so that when things did come up like this, it was easy to handle. And for me, when we did the classes, I just told everybody it wasn't her fault, it was my fault because I didn't take accountability of what was going on in the home it's amazing amazing you guys are powerful that's so gentle so strong uh very very powerful very powerful well done so when you're leading the class you paid off 106,000 in 32 months i'm so proud of y'all. Thank you. Well done. What do you tell people the key to getting out of debt is?

This is impressive. Yeah, like I said, I mean, to be Christians, we're supposed to be Christ-like. So what does the Lord say about money? What does the Lord say about debt? You know, we're not supposed to be slaves to the lender. We are supposed to give and not, you know, we don't need everything that we think we need. You know, the best car is the best. He wants us to have good things, but not where we go into debt.

Amen. So, I mean, being obedient to the word. That's the key for us. Yes. We wanted to be better Christians. Yes, ma'am. I do, too, after meeting them. We have a strong foundation

our church is awesome and our pastor actually wants to do I don't call it momentum anymore church wide though and so he is we are in the process of doing it for Ramsey Plus our kids called us

my youngest son has a wife let's do that free scream I'm about to run out you snuck up on me coldest. My youngest son has a wife. Oh, let's do debt-free scream. Yep. Okay, sorry. I'm about to run out. I just snuck up on me. I love talking to y'all. Alright, $106,000 paid off in 32 months making $65,000 to $85,000. Kenneth and Libby, count it down.

Let's hear a debt-free scream. 3, 2, 1. We're on debt-free! Yeah! Well done, you guys. Man, they're powerful. Wow, what a neat couple. So great.

Amazing, amazing. Yeah, if you want to be them when you grow up, we'll help you. Wow. Yeah, way to go, guys. And leading financial piece in Ramsey Plus still. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. so many many years ago i was invited to be on the oprah winfrey show back when she still had her show and it was a big deal because if you got on oprah and she extended her scepter to you and gave you the nod your book would sell a million copies i mean it was she had an amazing power in the publishing world for selling books.

And so getting on there was like a dream come true. And so we worked for weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks working with their team, and they laid out a 52-page script, and we were going to work with three different couples on three different money problems on the show. And, of course, I got with them ahead of time and learned a lot about their stuff and then i was to come on the show and give them advice on the particular situations and you know it went pretty well through the first two um or through the first one and then the next one was a guy his wife had hidden uh seventy eight thousand dollars in student loan

from him that he didn't know she had. And my contention was, obviously, it's bad for her to lie and have hidden and deceived her husband. No question about that. You should never deceive your spouse. That's not a thing. But I said also, you know, part of this is on him because he's not engaged enough in his own household to know that $78,000 had gone through your house and you didn't know what happened. You know? And she was in charge of the money.

And he was just making money. And so she did whatever the flip she wanted, including this. And so it was in the script. And Dave says, you know, and Oprah reads that and she goes off on me she just she got pissed she's like that is absolutely not right it is not his fault she shouldn't have lied and he delegated the the handling of the money to her and then she just misbehaved and i said well that that that is that's a lot of that's true but on the other hand in a marriage you're supposed to be engaged enough in your life to know what the flips going on as the husband or the wife. Yeah. Either one of you need to know what's going on.

Kenneth just talked about that. That's what made me think about it. And and she just went on and on and on. And I said, listen, this is not a joint venture. It's not a business. It's a marriage. Yeah. And now you are one.

Well, her audience clapped. Well, then she even got madder because they took my. It didn't a business. It's a marriage. Yeah. And now you are one. Well, her audience clapped. Well, then she even got madder because they took my side. It didn't go well. It didn't. I didn't sell any books. Because I question Mother Nature. Oprah's pretty powerful. I'm not going to lie.

But no, but it's amazing to me how many women I talk to long for their husbands to care. They want their husbands involved. They're like, oh, how do I get my husband on board? Or how do I get him to care? How do I have him start helping me pay off debt? And the husbands say this about wives as well. It goes both ways. But I do hear that for women.

And so there is a call to you men out there, you husbands out there. Kenneth, man, he's going to teach a class on manhood. Well, just stepping in and just stepping in. And that's loving your family so well that both of you have a say. It's not that one doesn't have the other, right? You're a team in this. You both lock arms and you say, okay, we're in this together. But when there is a level of unity, and I can speak as a woman, when a husband comes in and says, okay, let's do this together.

There's just a safety there. There is. And so, gentlemen, it's a challenge to you. Step in if you're not. Step in. Because your wife probably longs for it. It's exhausting and it's lonely if you're doing it by yourself. Well, even if you're the one that's the administrative one who's actually probably going to do most of the actual money work just to emotionally and spiritually carry the weight together.

Yes. In your case, Winston is the nerd. He's the one that runs the stuff just because it's his nature and it's not your nature. But, you know, another household might be a different way. And so, you know, either way, no one needs to be carrying this stuff by themselves. It's not fair. It's not efficient. It's not practical.

And it does not give you the result you want. And to that point, just to extend it, to clarify, and that means it's the emotional, it's the conversations you're in. Now, who actually writes out the bills or takes the bill and takes out the checking account? That doesn't matter. Yeah, the logistical side, whoever wants to do it can do it but the fact that we're making decisions together we're talking about money we have unified goals i mean all of that agreeing on budget no nothing is hidden yep all of that a lot of this is covered in rachel's new book know yourself

know your money and you can get in there and know what your tendencies are what your spouse's tendencies are and it gives you a platform to have a discussion and increase this communication they were just a beautiful couple oh they're wonderful yeah their spirit was just incredible yeah i mean both of them and wow just powerful all right elizabeth is in huntsville hi elizabeth welcome to the dave ramsey show hey dave and rachel thank y'all so much for answering. Sure. How can we help? So my father passed away in June of 2019, pretty suddenly. And he was an only child. And he took care of my grandmother, who is widowed, took care of pretty much all of her finances. And in the process of all of that, he kind of got himself into some financial trouble himself and was kind of,

I hate to use the word stealing because she knew about it, but she didn't want to say she knew about it using her money because he was attached to her bank account um so he kind of had that kind of ties into the story but um after he passed away um she was two hours from us so she kind of um was alone um i've got two small children. My sister doesn't live here. My brother's a teenager. So she kind of ended up with this caretaker who we don't really know where she came from. She's super sweet, seems genuine as good as gold. But my grandmother has a lot of money. And she has this woman who kind of takes her around, takes her to her doctor's appointment.

How old is your grandmother? She is in her late 70s. And what's a lot of money? I don't know how much. $10,100,000. I would say between $2 and $5 million. Okay. All right. That's a lot of money.

I'm just making sure I knew what that meant. Okay. So what are you going to do about it? I was the executor of my father's estate, and so I kind of, of course, I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, but somebody's got to do it. Amen. I have kind of talked to my grandmother. Like, she has made comments, you know, about it being our inheritance, and I hate to think of it as my money.

I did not work for that money. That's not the point. The point is you don't want her to get messed over by somebody who snaked their way into an old lady's life. Right. And so she has actually said something to me about being the executor in passing. Well, I waited again until we were alone and said, so were you serious about that? And she said, well, yeah, I would like for you to help such and such with those kinds of things. So I found out that this woman was on a date.

Elizabeth, you're running out of time. You're going to have to get to the point. What's your question? I'm sorry. What do I need to, how should I approach her? Like, without making it seem like she's making a terrible decision. Number one, grandma, I don't need any of your money. I'm just worried about you, and I smell a rat.

I love you, and I want to walk with you and help you in any way I can. I think this lady may be okay but i also am very very worried about her having an undue influence over you and i don't want you to get taken advantage of i don't need any of your money you can leave it all to a charity you don't but i just don't want you to be taken advantage of so how can i help you prevent that because granny i'm worried about you okay yeah i've got that's not anything that no i mean i mean i think being open and honest elizabeth and as straightforward as possible in a loving way is going to be effective because and and see how she responds see what see what

she says and it may take her a day or two to chew on it yeah i think people in your family are classic southern wonderful people like me, and we think being nice is necessary to get into heaven, and it's not. You're too dadgum sweet. You're going to have to get to the point. You're too sweet. You're trying to make everybody happy, and you're just like sweet tea. You're just like sweet tea, honey. You're just the nicest person, and you don't want to make everybody happy And you're just You're just like sweet tea You're just like sweet tea, honey You're just the nicest person

And you don't want to make anybody mad You don't want anybody to be Have their feelings hurt And that's you That's me That's me I'm the same way I'm just the sweetest little thing

Sweetest little I'm just the sweetest little thing Sweetest day That's me Sweetest day Now you're going to get to the point Hurt somebody's feelings For their own protection

That's me This is the Dave Ramsey show. Have a friend or family member that needs a daily dose of Ramsey advice in their life. Let them know about the Ramsey call of the day podcast. It's a quick hit of advice about life and money in under 10 minutes. Check out the Ramsey call of the day podcast, wherever you listen to podcasts.