The Ramsey Show - App - I'm Afraid to Step In and Help My Divorced Parents (Hour 3)

Episode Date: October 22, 2021

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Thank you. Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Ken Coleman, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. He is the host of the Ken Coleman Show, which is where you learn all about your career,

all about jobs, all about how to get them, all about how to find the work you love. And so if you have questions about career and work, he's here to help, and we're here to help you in general. So jump in at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. Kunal is with us. Kunal is in Columbus, Ohio. Hi, Kunal. What's up?

Hi. How are you doing? Better than I deserve. How can we help? I had a quick question about um self-banking with whole term life insurance um and whether it's worth it if you accrue a cash balance and borrow against that and pay interest to yourself or if you should stay away from that and keep using a bank yeah um it's an absolute scam it's a whole life policy it's not a term it's not a term policy

it's a whole life life insurance policy basically whole life life insurance is where you pay 20 times more for the same amount of insurance and so the extra 95 dollars out of the hundred dollars goes into a savings account and um that you earn very little on after you finally start to build it up and then one of the ways they're pitching it now is the self-banking concept where you use your own money which by the way when you have a checking account you are using your own money i don't know why they think that's magical okay perfect i guess i won't use it no i wouldn't use it i would stay completely away from the company that is offering it and any other offerings that they

have because it is a really really bad product and it is a scummy way to sell whole life life insurance which is a scummy product to start with but no one sells that stuff anymore except people no one believes in it or talks about it positively except people that are in that business. And this whole thing of you can borrow your own money. Why would I want to borrow my money? It doesn't even make any sense, Dave. But this is the power of marketing. I mean, the message here is really look into stuff.

I love that people can call and get advice on this. But really dig into stuff. And does it make sense? And if it doesn't make sense why doesn't it make sense but they've put some wonderful marketing copy on this yeah so money from yourself give you another one it just keeps it yeah didn't that great and you pay and you pay them interest right to borrow money from to borrow your money that you saved up in your savings you're moving money from your checking account to put it over there to them to not even get a good return on it to get it back.

It's mind-numbing. It's like moving a pile of rocks from one side of the yard to the other. Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And so here's the other one. Whole life life insurance, you can use it. Cash value insurance grows tax-free. Well, no, it doesn't. That's a lie.

But here's how they propose that you do this. You overpay for your insurance by 20 times for all of your life, your whole life. That's where it comes from. They take your money your whole life. And finally, you have some money in there. Let's just say you've got $50,000 in there. Now, if the $50,000 is in excess of what you paid in and you take it out, that is taxable because there's a gain.

Right. Yes. But not if you borrow it. And so you put money into this investment. Now you can borrow your money that you put in there back out and pay them interest, but it's tax-free. Well, no kidding, doofus. When you go to the bank and borrow $50,000, they don't charge you taxes on it.

It's a debt. Of course it's not taxable. Debt is not taxable. But it's not a tax-free growth on an investment like a Roth IRA or Roth 401K. It's not even on the same planet. It's the same kind of stuff that he's dealing with there. And it's this whole idea of, but, boy, I mean, you talk about, I mean, they're almost as scummy as the timeshare people.

They're almost that scummy. They're almost as scummy as the payday lenders. They're right up there. Well, that's straight up manipulation. What you just laid out for us, as clear as you could lay it out, that's manipulating people. Lying. Yeah. We could call it lying.

Dave Ramsey is giving bad advice because with whole life you could get tax-free growth. No, you can't. Yeah. No. can't yeah no you can borrow your own money and pay them interest right and borrowed money is always tax-free because it's borrowed right it's not an actual investment so yeah that's how that works but but i'm the crook and i'm the one that doesn't know what he's talking about according to that industry now if you want some people pissed off at you, that's a good group of people to have pissed off at you. The timeshare people are pissed off at me.

The car fleecing people are pissed off at me. The payday lenders hate my guts. And the whole life people, oh, my God, you would think I was. Have you taken on the rent-to-own furniture people yet? You know, they just don't do much anymore. Right, okay. I'm just trying to think of anybody else while we're taking store. We should just go ahead and get a full list of the scumburger products.

People you don't get Christmas cards from. Yeah. Well, I mean, rent-to-own is actually, you know, they are taken on in a couple of our books and a couple of our courses over there. Yeah, yeah. But I don't really hear from them much. Yeah, it's not a popular model. The nothing down, same as cash, furniture people, they're not happy with me.

No. Best buy, screwing people with that stuff for decades. Yeah. This ain't the best buy, people. Yeah. You know, it's not hard to figure out. Yeah. The product protection plan people, they don't like either.

Yeah. Yeah. All the extras. Why is it that everybody makes you the bad guy because you're trying to save people money well i'm just trying to save people that's the point yeah you're hurting the big corporate scams and so that's why they come at you like everybody didn't already know payday lenders were a screw job like like all of america knows time everybody knows a timeshare is like the worst thing on the planet man and like

they're shocked that dave remsey said it out loud the timeshares are scummy yeah oh my god of course we said it out loud they were scummy long before i back when i had hair they were scummy yeah well when you offer all these free things just for a meeting which by the way i did it one time you didn't i did you went in the tiger cage yeah because the package was so nice and stacy didn't tiger for an hour well listen you get a free pass to the zoo for a year so stacy tiger hasn't eaten in four days but come in the cage and pet the tiger for an hour oh here's the deal i didn't pay attention to my wife this is a great story for yeah she's like you're gonna have to sit there and listen i'm like trust me i me, I won't. I'm the guy that goes, there's no chance.

Well, I went in just Mr. Stonewall, not going to do it. You're the only one who's ever done this. I know. And then sat there and just got worn out. I tried to be rude. I tried to get kicked out. I'll give the guy credit. He made me sit there for 90 minutes.

But I'll tell you what, I got all the stuff, too. But that was it. It was the last time I was able to do the last time it is not worth it it's our first year of marriage buy your own hotel room yes buy your own hotel room it ain't worth it no don't pet the tiger in the tiger cage yeah it's a good point eat your butt yeah you'll come out there with a 26 000 timeshare that's worth a dollar yeah you can't sell it for a dollar on ebay you can't get out of it no you is stocked baby you've been petting the tiger don't go in the tiger cage don't want their hen eating in three days there's nothing as greedy as a timeshare salesman oh my god this is the ramsey Hey, I'm Christi Wright.

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in your app store. It's free to download. Ken Coleman Ramsey personality is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. You jump in. We'll talk about your life and your money. Chase is with us in Dallas. Hi, Chase. Welcome to the Ramsey Show.

Hey, Dave and Ken. Thank you guys so much for taking my call. Sure. What's up? Well, first off, I wanted to thank you for last year. I called in February last year with a business question. I was looking at a partnership, and you strongly encouraged me not to do it. And I wanted to thank you because my business has about tripled in size over the last year.

It's been a banner year. I run an appraisal firm, and it's been very busy. Good for you. So I wanted to thank you for that first. I'm so happy for you. My question, thank you so much. My question today is, we are thinking about getting into a bigger home,

and honestly, I'm a little bit nervous. We are on Baby Step 4, five, and six. And we currently have a home that is, it's a very affordable home. I don't even think about my mortgage, but it is in a school district that we don't really love. I have four kids that are starting at ages three and go up to eight. So we have a lot of little kids at home and we've got them piled into the three bedrooms. So it's a bit of a madhouse. And we are looking at moving to a better school district, but the homes there are quite a bit more expensive than what I have. And we have an opportunity. We had not only did we find a house down there, we found a house on land that needs some repairs done to it.

But the houses down there range from kind of the 350 to the 475 range. And after repairs and everything, this thing would be right about 350. So it's kind of an ideal situation. My question is, should I wait and be a little bit more conservative because I'm a business owner, or am I in the right place to start moving up in-house? As long as the mortgage is on a 15-year fixed or less, and it's no more than a fourth of your take-home pay, I'm good with the move. Okay, okay.

Well, the only thing that kind of put a little monkey ring to that is that I know that you're not big into financing or doing any kind of anything for repairs on the house, and the house does need that. It would need about $70,000 of repair, but we could put that into the 15-year fixed-rate mortgage, and I would just have a fixed-rate day loan. Yeah, that's like doing a construction loan to build a house at that point, and I'm not against that. It just all ends up in your permanent is what it amounts to now what is your what is the years left on your current mortgage how many years left so i've got about we refinanced to a 15 year last year so i've got 14 years i only owe about a hundred thousand dollars on it the house is worth about a little less than two hundred thousand okay and you're going to throw that hundred in. Okay. And you're going to throw that $100,000 in the mix, and so you're going to finance $250,000, give or take, on a 15-year fix instead of $100,000.

So you're going up $100,500, and your household income is what? Well, my household income, I don't know if I should judge it off this last year, but, again, it was a big year, so it was about $250,000 this last year, and the year before it was about $200,000. Yeah. You're more than okay, dude. I mean, you're in great shape. my wife is going to laugh at this call she thinks i'm the most conservative person on planet earth i build our budget around 150 you're not but if they die you could be left

with that title oh no you're you're doing good You're just being very careful, and you're very wise. You're an appraiser, and so you're a numbers guy, and you're a detail guy, and you analyze things on the left side of the brain, and that's awesome. There's nothing wrong with any of that. It's gotten you to where you are, dude, so it's not a bad gig. You're doing a really, really good job. I'm proud of you. You're in good shape here.

The trick is to just not get in patterns that roll you into more debt all the time. And so this is probably a big move for at least a decade, and you're probably going to get this house paid off in about less than 10 years. That is the plan. You're in good shape, dude. Chase, one last piece of advice. It'd be good to go home and tell your wife that you talked to dave and she was right just get some bonus points there but you're still a good dude you're doing great you've done a great job analyzing it

and your your conservative nature has gotten you to where you are but it's also good to bounce things around and you're you're you're humble enough that you're open to input from her input from other people and just to kind of bounce things around. You're humble enough that you're open to input from her, input from other people, and just to kind of bounce things around, think it through with other people. That's very wise. Very, very wise. Good question, man. Thank you for joining us. Congratulations on all your success.

Very, very well done. Folks, if you're tired of feeling stuck with your money like you'll never get out of debt or you'll never save enough for the future, maybe you'll never be in control like that guy was, listen, it doesn't have to be that way. You can make progress with your money and you can make it faster than you think. The only way to make it happen is with a budget. And that's why you need a Ramsey Plus membership. You'll get access to the premium version of our EveryDollar budgeting app, which is world-class. You plan out every dollar you'll

spend. you'll save before the month begins connect your budget to your bank so you don't miss a transaction custom budget reports access to financial peace university access to coaching access to group discussions it is an amazing process to get into ramsey plus when you budget and you get intentional with your money you're going to make progress fast. And you can start budgeting for free today with a free trial at Ramsey Plus. Text TRIAL to 33789. Text TRIAL to 33789.

Our question of the day comes from Blinds.com. They have a 100% satisfaction guarantee. That means even if you mismeasure or you pick the wrong color, they'll remake your blinds for free. You get free samples, free shipping, and with the new promos they run every month, you'll save even more. Use the promo code RAMSY to get the best possible deal. Dave, today's question comes from Kendall in Kentucky. I will get my bachelor's in business management next year, and I have roughly $40 40 000 invested in the stock market

and three months expenses in my emergency fund i'm considering going straight into a master's program in data business analytics i don't think i will have the skills to confidently walk into a data analytics job with a bachelor's degree should i stay in school to get my master's or should i work full-time in a different role for a couple years and save up more money to go back to school for data analytics? Well, the first thing is let's get for sure. When somebody says, I don't think I'll have the skills, I hear a little bit of doubt. And the way we deal with doubt is we go get some facts.

And I think there are many entry-level jobs that will lead you into data analytics. And so I would do my research. You've got a school that can help you and get you a ton of information, plus you have relationships that allow you to talk to people who are winning in data analytics. That's the proximity principle. It says in order to do what I want to do, data analytics, I've got to get around people that are doing that work and in places where it's happening.

That is your number one homework assignment. Let's get very clear on whether or not you must get a master's degree in order to do the work you eventually want to do. Anybody that gets out of college has got to jump in at entry level, and I don't think he has to do that. You're not going after this master's degree because you need a master's degree. You're going after this master's degree because you're scared to be a grown-up. Yes. You want to hide in education because you're afraid of stepping out there in the real freaking world dude throw your shoulders back son and go get you a job and get into data analytics

data analytics is the hottest yeah i mean that and and and security cyber security right now two of the hottest fields out there you're going to make so stinking much money and you're going to learn on the job because data analytics is moving at light speed faster than the professor is teaching at the master's level he already doesn't know what you need to know a month from now yeah you can't keep up by going in and doing formal education in that field son you're going to have to get in the field and you're going to get out there kick the can can and cause stuff to happen. Don't be scared. Go do it. Throw your shoulders back and step into it, son. You can do this.

You're just trying to hide behind. People don't want to go out there. They just keep going to school. It's time to quit. Time to go do it. And listen, they're training you on the job, as you say. And they'll pay for your master's if you need it, but you don't need it. I got data analytics people all over this building, and they're smarter than smart than smart than smart than smart.

Almost none of them have a master's. Yeah. That's exactly right. And they're running freaking data for Ramsey, I can tell you that. And we are data bonkers around this building, man. They're teaching me stuff every day. I'm so impressed with them. They're very smart people.

But they are not master's degreed. That's absolute BS. A BS is all you need. Not the degree. See what I did there? I like what you did. This is The Ramsey Show. Thank you. Ken Coleman Ramsey personality is my co-host today in the lobby of Ramsey Solutions on the Debt-Free Stage. Lee and Heather are with us, along with their daughter, Sophia. Hey, guys, how are you?

Hey, Dave. Hey, Vasek. Welcome. Where do you guys live? Franklin, Indiana, 20 minutes south of Indianapolis. So, Indianapolis. Very cool. Now, how much debt did you pay off? $91,251.95. Love it.

How long did this take? 25 months. Good for you. And your range of income during that time? We started at $143, went up to $162, and I actually just got a promotion last week, so we're at $171 now. Wow. What do you do for a living? So we both work for the Department of Defense.

I'm in HR. And I'm in IT. Very cool. Good for you. Good careers. What kind of debt was the $91,000? My student loans. All of it? All of it. The only debt you had. The only thing we had. Oh my gosh. So what's your degree in?

HR? Yes. I have an MBA in HR. Good for you. Good for you. That what's your degree in? HR? Yes. I have an MBA in HR. Good for you. Good for you. That's a great degree. Yeah. That's a great field. Good for you.

That's so fun. So how long have you guys been married? Yeah, almost 10 years. All right. Good. Good. And what happened two years ago that set this on fire? Well, it actually started about 14 years ago.

No, it didn't. You've been getting out of debt for 25 months. I first heard about you then, and my life was a mess. I had credit card payments and medical bills and everything else. Listened to FPU and thought, this made sense. This is smart, biblical wisdom. Started getting out of debt and met this handsome guy here, and he was completely on board. Yeah, see, one of the stipulations to being together, she said you've got to read this book.

And so it was total money makeover. But you've been married 10 years. Yeah. So what happened two years ago? I thought you got out of debt in 25 months. We did. I'm so confused. So we decided, you know, after we were, we actually were both laid off for a year and a half.

After he came back from Iraq, he was injured and couldn't work. I lost my job at the same time. So we kind of had to stop everything and rebuild our careers and all our assets. And then 25 months ago, we said enough on the student loan. We're sick of it. We need to get rid of it. And we went nuts. The first year we paid off $25,000 and then the last year we paid $66,000. Amazing. That's impressive. Okay, so you went through a career downturn and a reset of your whole lives, and following that is when the 25 months started. Right.

Now I'm getting my story straight. I got a bachelor's degree in the time because I couldn't do my job, so the VA paid for it, and I was like, what do I want to do that I love? So that's why I chose IT. Good for you. That's smart. Good choice. I got a promotion, like a $20,000 promotion in 17, and then we're like, you know, we're barely paying on this debt.

So we make money. Let's pay the max. Yeah. And so that's when we're kind of like, yeah, what are we doing? Let's get that book back out now. Right. Okay. All right. Cool. So you were in the military then? Yes, I, what are we doing? Let's get that book back out now. Right. Okay. All right, cool.

So you were in the military then? Yes, I was. Okay. And how did you get injured? Overseas, my back. Oh, yeah. I just kind of messed my back up. So I had three back surgeries, one hip surgery.

Oh. I have a service dog, actually. He's at home. Mm-hmm. So, yeah, I was a mechanic, and that's what I was doing. I injured myself, and I just couldn't do it anymore. So their VA said, well, pay for your degree. So I chose IT because I loved IT, and so I really loved that.

Very wise. Very wise. Thank you for your service. Yes, sir. Very neat. I want to point out something really quick here for folks that are listening. Lee had a physical change, and so he had to make a career change as a result of a physical thing. That's not something you pick.

But that mechanical brain tied in beautifully to the IT, fixing problems, the way you can break stuff down. Is that right? It was a really nice, easy transition for you there. Oh, yeah. It was still technical and stuff. That's right. It was just a different kind of technical. Yeah, good for you, man.

Great transition there. Just the heaviest thing you have to lift is a keyboard, though. Yeah. That's good. I like it. That a keyboard, though. That's good. I like it. That's smart, man. I love it. You guys are incredible.

You're heroes. How does it feel now that you're finally free? I don't know. Unbelievable kind of feel. Still kind of new. So maybe after we scream, we'll know. I don't know. Yeah.

We're just like, okay, we're just going to go continue. We're just like, nothing's changed. We need to do our savings. We need to save up for things. So we don't want to lose that momentum. We went out to eat. We said, hey, we deserve it. Let's go out to eat.

And so, yeah, then we did that, and then we're just going to continue to go moving along. Yeah, finish up Baby Step 3 now, get your emergency fund in place, and then become wealthy. Very well done. Good job, you guys. What do you tell people the secret to getting out of debt is? I'd say the budget, communication, and prayer really works. Yeah. Amen.

Yeah, I would say just stick into it. You can have a budget and you can have your blueprints, but if you just put walls wherever you want, then nothing's going to matter. So you just got to stick to your budget. And so that's one of the key things. I notice people, they're like, oh, yeah, we have a budget. And they just spend and spend. And you just got to really keep to the budget. If it's on paper, this is what we're going to do.

And just keep them going. Heather, you really focused on prayer for a moment. You really locked in pause there. What did you pray about specifically? What prayers were answered in this process? Strength. There you go. That's a good one.

Just intentionality and just understanding that this is a season and that God has so much more planned for us as a family and how much we can contribute now that we don't have this chain around our ankle anymore. Wow, that'll preach. I think our jobs, too, because we were in a situation where we didn't know what we were going to eat. We had to go to the food market pantry to get some food sometimes. Wow. We were unemployed, and the VA was paying me to get a degree. That was were unemployed and i just had my the va was paying me to get a degree that's the only thing that really helped us and so it's like you know we

thank the lord every day for our jobs our house our cars all these things yeah and so it's just amazing how like to reflect on that amen very powerful good for you guys. Way to go. I'm so proud of you. Who were your biggest cheerleaders outside the three of you? Well, I facilitate financial peace at church, so I'm constantly doing that. We just wrapped up our 10th class. Yeah, so you've got to do it when you're leading it. You've got to do it. Yeah, when you're leading it, that's ultimate accountability, right?

Right. But the class is cheering you on too, right? Yeah, absolutely. So they know you're here today? They do. I leading it. Yeah, when you're leading it, that's ultimate accountability, right? Right. But the class is cheering you on too, right? Yeah, absolutely. So they know you're here today? They do. I love it. And we've met so many friends through the class. And now they're in our small group

because of that class. And then they become like our best friends because it's just this class that we taught. And so it's amazing how the Lord works in that way too. Amen. Amen. You know, some of the very first people that I taught years ago with a bad suit and an overhead projector, I still stay in touch with them. It's pretty cool.

And that was 30 years ago. Way to go, you guys. Woo-hoo! Got a copy of The Legacy Journey for you. That's the next chapter in this story, to live like no one else. So now you can live and give like no one else. Leave that legacy. Well done.

And an extra copy of the total money makeover for you to give away sounds like you got lots of places you could possibly do that and pay it forward get somebody else involved and that's good stuff so congratulations all right lee and heather and sophia from indianapolis 91 000 paid off in 25 months, making $143 to $171 recent raise. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. Three, two, one. We're debt-free!

That's how it's done. Interesting how much adversity they came through and how the entire time they're talking about they're smiling. Yes, absolutely. There was no sour, you know, not weaned on a pickle. It was like, yeah, we did that and we did that and we did that. And I'm like, my God. And you're still smiling.

You're smiling about it. I mean, it's pretty impressive. You know, it's a result of the sun comes out after the storm. And they're in the sun right now. And that feels really nice when you've been through the wind and the hail and the tornadoes and the hurricanes and all that to come out on the other side. It's sunny. And joy comes in the morning. That's what we see there.

Amen. This is the Ramsey Show. Our scripture today is Psalmm 136 1 give thanks to the lord for his good his love endures forever zig ziglar said be grateful for what you have and stop complaining it bores everybody else does you no good and doesn't solve any problems. Wow, Zig's getting it. Yeah, he was a little feisty there. He's Mr. Positive all the time. Straighten up.

Doesn't solve any problems. Quit your griping. I almost do my Zig right there. All right, this is Jennifer. She's with us in Philadelphia. Hi, Jennifer. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi.

Hi, Dave. Hi, Ken. Thanks so much for taking my call. I really appreciate it. Sure. How can we help? I have a question about, like you, I do better than I deserve, but my brother and his two adult kids are not doing quite as well financially. And I just bought copies of the Total Money Makeover for all three of them, and I'm going to send them to them soon. And I wanted to offer, uh, to help set up some IRAs for all three of them, like feed it with a little bit of money and then maybe offer to match if they're willing to contribute to it as well. Um, for a set period of time, just to see how it goes, because I know they don't have any retirement savings. The problem is they haven't

even, they don't even know about the baby steps, so they don't have, they're definitely living paycheck to paycheck and they don't have the emergency fund yet. So would my doing that, first of all, is it a good idea? How can I do it? And is it, would it be taking them out of order of the baby steps so it doesn't make sense? Or that doesn't really count if it's something I'm gifting to them and it's out of order is okay. Trying to think what I would do. No, I would not. It's not about the order. It's about, it is about the order because they need, you need to see some movement from them before you start throwing money at them and um uh because here

let me give you an example all right let's say let's say you put um six thousand dollars each and start a roth ira and they do nothing then you did nothing yeah that's why i was hoping if i offered to like pay for three months or six months i'll You did nothing. Yeah. That's why I was hoping if I offered to pay for three months or six months, I'll match. If you can put $10 out of every paycheck, I'll match that. Maybe you do that towards the debt in baby step two, because if they get on this train, that'll lead them to be able to invest later without you. Right.

Yeah, I was just thinking to take advantage of the two adult kids that are in their 20s, and I was thinking to take advantage of their youth. That's just you getting it out of order. That's all that is. Because, see, you think that compound interest is going to solve their problem. I think their behavior change is going to solve their problem. Right. Which will lead them to compound interest. But compound interest without behavior change

is not going to solve their problem. Okay, so just give them the book and say, read this and then let's talk and maybe I'll, you know, and if you guys want to start this, I might match you on some of your debt snowball stuff after you read and figure out what a debt snowball is. Call me up. Let's talk about it.

Because, see, if they can get out of debt, they've got control of their most powerful wealth-building tool, which is their income, not their aunt. Right. Yeah, that's true. Have you talked with them about this before? Have you sat down and had any kind of conversation about how you do things and how you'd like them to do this? Or is this sort of a new thing you're inspired to do? No, it's actually a new thing.

I'm a new listener, actually, and I got very fortunate that I married someone who did have a good financial education. So we ended up kind of following the Ramsey Method without knowing we were doing that. Yeah. And I'm just now discovering, like, because we're very fortunate. We're debt-free except for our mortgage, and we don't have any kids. Well, maybe you talk about the times that you were scared and the times that you did something dumb with money and i used to do that and when i quit doing it now i'm able to invest and if you guys want to walk down the path i used was this path

in this book and if you guys want to walk down that path i'll actually participate with you um y'all call me and we'll talk about it. But don't talk about, like, I've got it all figured out and here's a book. Instead, talk about the times when you failed and make a connection. I think Ramsey Plus is a great recommendation, Jennifer. Get them in. They get in it and maybe help them stay in it for a little bit. They experience every dollar and all the incredible content uh within uh ramsey plus i i just think that that's a great suggestion because you're

talking about it like this awesome resource you have people tend to go for more of that oh you really love it why i think that's a good idea yeah and talk about the time that you know i used to do this and i was screwing up and now i'm'm doing that, and not wagging your finger going, you need to straighten up kind of a thing. That's a different spirit is the way you're going at it. Erica is in Portland, Maine. Hi, Erica. Hi, Dave and Ken. Thanks so much for taking my call.

Our pleasure. How can we help? So it's actually funny because my question is on the other side about where do I put saving for my parents' retirement in the baby steps? You don't. So a little bit of backstory. You don't. Okay. You don't save for your parents' retirement.

They need to save for their retirement. Yes, but I just know that that's not going to happen. My parents split up about four years ago. One of my parents is a great saver. One of my parents is not. Okay, so all you can do is go build wealth. And if you've got some money, if you've got a million dollars in your 401K and your mama needs some food, you can buy her some food.

Okay. But you don't need to open a mutual fund and call it mom's mutual fund because mom's too trifling to manage her own life yes you just go build wealth okay does that make sense yes it does i guess um it's out of a fear base because I'm watching one of my parents support their parent in retirement because they relied on Social Security and that is a bad thing. Yep, and you may have to do that, but the best way to do that is for you to have money. Okay, so that's in Baby Step 7. Yeah, you're just going to get rich.

You're going to be an everyday baby step millionaire. And then you can reach over, and if mom needs $500 to go with her social security check to eat, you can take care of it, right? Right. But you don't need to set up a separate account that says, oh, this is for my mother. Now, you just go make some money, build your wealth, and be in a position to be a blessing to a lot of people. Hopefully, mom will find her way, and it sounds a position to be a blessing to a lot of people, hopefully mom will find her way. And it sounds like dad is the saver, mom's not.

But hopefully mom will find her way through the process. Because you don't ever know where you're going to end up with these things. And, you know, there's a lot of different things you can do with money to be a blessing to people you love once you've got some money. Yeah, I loved your advice, Dave, because I think that's also not just the best financial advice. I think that's the best relationship advice. Here's what happens.

If you put your money goals and your wealth building on pause to deal with a fear that you have for your parents and you're trying to do what's right as this really, really great daughter, and it doesn't work out or it slows you down. There's tremendous opportunity, Dave, for resentment there. So the very person you're trying to help becomes the object of your resentment. That's not the way you want to end the journey with them. And so by doing it your way, by getting wealthy, and then when they are in a desperate situation, you have the means to be able to help them and take care of them as opposed to try to change their behavior well the it's the same exact math it just has it just has a different it just has different options of what you do with

the account that's correct i mean you're putting a thousand dollars a month in mutual funds and it's got mom's name on it you're putting a thousand dollars a month in mutual funds and it's got my name on it then um you know when it's mine and there's money in there and there's a million dollars in that account, then I can look back and go, oh, or I can look over here and say, oh, mom needs some help. But if it's all kind of got mom's name on it, then it feels weird for you to do something else with it when it was your money all along. Yeah. I just got to be careful.

That's your point. It can set up resentment. There's emotion there. Oh, there is. And you can't fix mom. But it is a good thing to want to be a blessing to people. Absolutely. To be generous.

Absolutely. Not to be an enabler. No. But it is a good thing. Her heart's completely in the right place. Oh, she's got a sweetheart. There's no question about that. But you just don't, you know, you don't have to take adults to raise in that sense. And then, you know, there may be all kinds of situations around mom later

that you don't want to participate in. You never know. So you just got to, you just got to, it keeps your options open when you just, I'm just going to build wealth and then I'll decide if I need to do something with it later. Yeah. Ken Coleman, good show. Thank you, sir. James Childs, Kelly Daniel in the booth.

I am Dave Ramsey, your host. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus. Have a friend or family member that needs a daily dose of Ramsey advice in their life? Let them know about the Ramsey Call of the Day podcast. It's a quick hit of advice about life and money in under 10 minutes. Check out the Ramsey Call of the Day podcast wherever you listen to podcasts.