The Ramsey Show - App - I’m Almost Done With My Debt Snowball but Hesitant To Finish

Episode Date: September 10, 2021

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Thank you. Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studio, this is The Ramsey Show, where America hangs out to have a conversation about your life and your money. I'm George Camel, host of the Fine Print Podcast and the Entree Leadership Podcast, and I'm joined today by my very good friend, Ramsey personality, Dr. John Deloney. That's not what you were saying off air, that I was your very good friend. Well, on air and off air, you know, I've got to be kinder in front of all the people. Well, I'm glad that I've moved up in the world and become your very good friend. You're moving on up. We'll hang out one day, John. We're having a good time here.
Starting point is 00:01:05 The phone call is free, absolutely free, and the number is 888-825-5225. Mia joins us from Sacramento, California. Mia, welcome to The Ramsey Show. Hi, gentlemen. My question today is two parts, but the first part is i have paid off all my debt except one debt um way to go five thousand dollars thank you um and um i just so it was five thousand so i had to save for that amount of money so what i did was i saved and i just kept saving. So I've saved $20,000. But I just can't pull the trigger and pay it off. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:01:50 So it's like you were running a marathon and you went past the finish line and you were like, I'm just going to keep going. No, it's not. You got to the sign that said, you got to the sign, Mia, that said last mile and everyone starts cheering and you just cracked open a beer and sat down. And you're like'm good it's gonna sit here for a while Mia what I'm like stuck in step
Starting point is 00:02:12 two if I do this I'll be in step four because it's twenty thousand dollars so you already saved your emergency fund my emergency fund okay so tell us about this debt. Is it beautiful? Is it cute? Is it sentimental? Do you love it? No, it's a repossession of a car that happened in 2017. And I'm just like, and it's with an attorney now because there's a judgment against me. I don't know if I'm scared to call the attorney. Like, I have the number. I've dialed the number, and I've hung up. I won't because it's a voicemail. It goes straightly to a voicemail. Um, and you're supposed to leave your number. Do you have
Starting point is 00:02:52 a judge? Do you have a judgment payoff letter in your hand? Um, yeah, I have the court documents where it was the, the judge granted the, um, you know, the order for me to pay, and this was in 2017. Are you afraid that that bill has tripled or quadrupled on you because you haven't paid it? Well, it started off at $2,300, so I'm guesstimating it's about $5,000 right now. Oh, so you don't even know. I added the interest. So you've got your hands over your ears going, I don't want to know, so you don't even know. I added the interest. So you're in La La, you got your hands over your ears going, I don't want to know,
Starting point is 00:03:26 I don't want to know. Exactly. Yeah, well, I'm thinking, it's about, I've done the math, so it's about between five and six thousand dollars. You hope, you hope. So Mia, what do you do for a living?
Starting point is 00:03:40 I'm a government worker for the state. That's another part of my question, but okay. So how much, I make about 67 a year. how much debt have you paid off? O-Off paid off $22,000, but all of it was smaller. It was credit card debt and stuff like that. You sound like you are brilliant.
Starting point is 00:04:00 Are you smart? Yeah, I'm just saying. Are you a hard worker? Very hard worker. Are you a person of integrity and character? Yes, very important to me. Would you date somebody that was like you? Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:04:20 So you're checking every box. You're brilliant, you're smart. You're a hard worker. You're a person of character. And yet, I just love my debt. You have marked every box. You are the kind of person we want in our communities. You want the kind of people out there leading things right. And so here's what I want you to do.
Starting point is 00:04:41 I want you to trust Mia as much as we do. I want you to think of Mia as highly as we do. Mia, you are worthy of being free. You have solved for freedom. And the last thing is that last little chain link is in those hedge clippers and you just got to pull them. Okay. Just got to do it. Why are you scared of freedom? Well, I'm just thinking, and I think about, because I listen to you, I think I might be catastrophizing.
Starting point is 00:05:20 I'm like, what if I lose my job and it all goes wrong, and it's $20,000, and I got rid of $5,000, and then how am I going to take care of me and my son, and it could all fall down, and I gave up $5,000 when I could have really held on to it. Or you have $15,000 in your fully funded emergency fund. You have no lawyers breathing down your neck, no ticker running in the background that's adding up more interest and more interest and more interest, and then you are free. You're free, and you're a hard worker. You'll have $5,000 more in a couple more interest, and then you are free. You're free. And you're a hard worker. You'll have $5,000 more in a couple more months, right? Yes.
Starting point is 00:05:51 And then you and your son can do whatever you want to. I like this. That's a great song. Hey, what's your favorite food, Mia? Thai food. Here's what I want you to do. I want you to make that call today, as soon as you're off the line, and keep calling until someone picks up. And I want you to get this debt out of your life this week. And I want you to
Starting point is 00:06:08 go get some Thai food with your kid and have the night of your life celebrating the fact that you don't have payments anymore. How great would that feel? That would be awesome. Can I ask you guys, I want to ask you the second question really quick. Come on. I'm 43. I have about 4k. I just started retirement. And I want to know, is it possible, hope for me to have a home? I have really affordable rent right now, but I've told myself either it's a home or it's retirement because I've waited so late to start building my retirement. Never too late. You're so young. You said 43? Honey, you're just getting started.
Starting point is 00:06:48 You are just getting started. Never too late. You can do both of these things. And at this rate, with no payments in the world and your income, which is only going to go up because you're brilliant, you can do both. You can get in a house, and our parameters, just so you know, I want you to put, I think you can put 20% or more down. You can do this with a 15-year fixed rate mortgage to where this thing's gone before you retire, and I guarantee you're going to do it earlier because you hustle, and I want you to do it to where the payment is no more than a quarter of your take-home pay. And you're going to invest 15% into retirement accounts, and in 25 years, you're going to be a multimillionaire with a
Starting point is 00:07:26 paid for house. Now, buying a house in Sacramento, that may be a taller order than buying one in St. Louis, Missouri, right? And so, yeah, you may be staring at the local Sacramento housing prices and thinking, I might not be able to do this. And it may be that down the road, you think I may take my brilliance and my character and my hard work and my debt-free life to another state, to another city. That's all very real, right? So, some of that's going to be dependent on where you're living, right? But don't box yourself into, don't become free and then box yourself into unfree thinking.
Starting point is 00:08:00 I'm free. Now, I'm just back to the, no! You got nobody chasing you anymore. And now it's a matter of where do I want to be? What kind of life do I want to build? I would love to live here, but I can't own a home here. So I'm going to move there, right? Or I would love to keep working here, but I can make double the salary over here. Now you are, it's a great reminder. In addition to going to Thai food, I want you to look yourself in the mirror the day after you pay this thing off and remind yourself, I'm brilliant, I'm a hard worker, I'm a person of character, and I deserve freedom.
Starting point is 00:08:33 And now, sky's the limit, because I have unhooked the last chain around my neck. I'm free! I'm inspired, John. You can take back control. You can do it. This is The Ramsey Show. People always say, when I get this promotion, I'll be able to make a real impact. Wrong.
Starting point is 00:09:02 When you make a solid plan on how you need to grow, you can become the leader you want to be. And that's why Ken Coleman, America's career coach and national best-selling author, wrote his new book, From Paycheck to Purpose, The Clear Path to Doing Work You Love. And it's available for pre-order right now. If you want to grow or create a legacy in your career, you need this book. It's not just a concept. It's a proven, clear path that will walk anyone in any industry through a step-by-step plan to take their career to the next level. Plus, if you pre-order From Paycheck to Purpose today, you'll receive our Get Promoted bonus pack for free,
Starting point is 00:09:42 which includes the audiobook, e-book, disc assessment, an exclusive talk from Ken, and access to our live event and more. Pre-order from Paycheck to Purpose at Ramsey personality Dr. John Deloney this is the Ramsey show if you haven't heard Christy Wright national best-selling author and Ramsey personality has been heads down on a project she's been passionate about for a long time because it deals with an issue that's affected her personally. How to feel balanced in your life. In the pre-sale of her new book, Take Back Your Time, the guilt-free guide to life balance is almost over. This book was born out of Christy's real-life struggles.
Starting point is 00:10:38 For years, she was running on empty and was stretched way too thin. And as a mom of three, she realized something had to change. She took a long, hard look at her life and figured out why she she felt overwhelmed and she discovered that balance is about doing the right things at the right time and you get to decide what's right for you. This is not some productivity book or a book on just saying no. You're going to learn the step-by-step plan on how to be intentional with your time and how to finally prioritize the things you really want to do so they stop getting pushed to the back burner. Time is like your money and If you're not intentional with it, it's going to leave. So September 13th is the last day to pre-order. And I want you to pre-order so that you can get
Starting point is 00:11:14 over 50 bucks in free gifts that come along with this, including the audio book, the ebook, a ticket to her live stream. Go to the online store at ramsaysolutions.com and pre-order your copy of Take Back Your Time today for just 20 bucks, and you're going to get over $50 in free bonus items. All right, Jonathan joins us in Kansas City. Jonathan, welcome to The Ramsey Show. Hi, how are you guys doing today? Doing great. How can we help? Yes, sir. I was calling because four-year marriage, seven-year relationship, kids are involved, but I am not biologically their kid. And we are in the process of getting a divorce.
Starting point is 00:11:55 I'm sorry. And I can't really, I don't know how to handle everything because of how it all happened. So walk me through what happened, man. Everything was good, what you would call the honeymoon phase. Like I said, none of the kids were mine. Step in, got real good with the kids and got married, then fell off. A lot of things I didn't know. I didn't grow up in a household of marriage.
Starting point is 00:12:26 So being 24 and married to a 34-year-old who's already experienced, there was a lot of things that I needed to learn, a lot of bad things that happened between both of us. Wife went out of town. She kept going back out of town. And once we finally decided on a divorce, I found out she was actually engaged to another man. So sorry.
Starting point is 00:12:49 Man, that's heartbreaking, brother. I'm so sorry. So give me your specific question, brother. How can I help? What steps should I take in trying to get my life back? The reason why I'm asking is because one of the children is back with me with an agreement from their father to finish his last year in high school so he could still play sports.
Starting point is 00:13:15 But it's kind of hard for me to let everything go, and I really don't know how to push forward right now. How old are you, man? I am 31 now so jonathan i first want to applaud you because what our culture has taught heartbroken frustrated angry men to do is to get angry, grip the wheel even tighter, and get loud and puff our chest up and run off to the next thing. And the fact that you are being patient, taking this thing slow, and you're reaching out saying, hey, I don't know what next step to take,
Starting point is 00:13:59 tells me that you're wise and you are strong beyond your wildest imagination. So good for you. Okay? I appreciate that. Right now, when did she file on you? To tell you the truth, I don't see. I just went to visit a lawyer, and I don't see anything on there that says that I've had the divorce filed against me. We kind of argue because at first I told her I would pay for it,
Starting point is 00:14:29 but then I didn't pay for it because I really didn't want to get the divorce. When's the last time you all sat down, just the two of you, no lawyers, no people, no kids, and just looked at each other and said, where are we? I haven't seen her since around March the 12th. Wow. Okay. Yeah, she was only here when she missed my anniversary, came back the weekend of our anniversary after she missed her flight,
Starting point is 00:15:00 stayed a little bit after Mother's Day and left again, and that was the last time I saw her. When's the last time you all talked to each other? Not through text message, but on the telephone. Last time I talked to her was probably a couple of weeks ago when one of the kids was playing a joke and said that the dog was already gone, and she called me and asked what happened to the dog, and I told her that I didn't have anything to do with it
Starting point is 00:15:25 because they were the ones who were doing it. But we haven't had a big conversation with each other for a while. Okay. So I'm going to give you the pie-in-the-sky answer, and then I'm going to give you the possible reality answer, okay? Pie-in-the-sky answer is two people who adults, who've got kids in the mix, who have a, the kid's biological father is still in the mix. Two adults need to sit down and have an adult interaction. Even if that adult interaction is this marriage is over and here's what we're going to do next. But just, I mean, you can ghost somebody when you're dating them in middle school.
Starting point is 00:16:09 You can ghost somebody in high school and just stop returning texts when you're married to them or you've got kids you can't do that you got to be an adult now i understand that adults act like children all the time we wouldn't have a show if they didn't right so the other side of that is you're going to have to make some hard decisions about moving forward. Is this marriage over? That's what I'm asking you. Yes, it's over. Okay. So at some point, somebody has to do the hard thing,
Starting point is 00:16:39 but the next step and go get this cleaned up with the attorneys involved and then make some hard decisions about these children. And this isn't, you're going to have to be able to separate, I'm angry, I'm frustrated, I'm heartbroken. I love this woman. I gave this woman my 20s. I gave these kids. I was there. And she stepped out on me.
Starting point is 00:16:53 You're going to have to put that in one spot. And you're going to have to do what's right for these kids. And you're going to have to grieve. You're going to have to give yourself permission to be heartbroken for a season. That means getting with another group of guys that are around your age, a little bit older than your age, and sit down and be able to say, this sucks. Like, I feel like I'm underwater some days. I feel like I don't want to eat some days. I feel like I can't get out of bed some days.
Starting point is 00:17:22 You're going to have to let that process take its toll, right? And some days it's going to feel like you can't get out of bed. Some days it's going to feel like, man, that wave just hit me and I'm going to drown. You're not, you're not, you're not, you're not. But you're going to have to let that process happen. Otherwise, you're going to race out. You're going to find somebody else. You're going to get another job. You're going to move. You're going to flex. You're going to do all those things. And that grief is going to stay in there. And it's going to come out in all kinds of bonkers ways. And counseling, we used to say, it's a leakage issue. You can deal with it or it will find its way out.
Starting point is 00:17:54 And it usually comes out at real inopportune times. Okay? And you sound like someone who is so wise and so strong who knows, man, I've got to just deal with this. Right? And so I want you to do two things. I want you to get a group of guys in your life. And if you don't have them, I want you to find them, whether that's some friends you've got, some coworkers that you trust, whether you got a local pastor, whether you need to reach out to a counselor, you got to sit down and tell
Starting point is 00:18:19 somebody face to face, I'm heartbroken. A woman broke my heart. And then you're going to have to go sit down with an attorney. I would reach out to her woman broke my heart. And then you're going to have to go sit down with an attorney. I would reach out to her one more time and say, can we talk like adults on how we're going to end this marriage? You've clearly stepped out. You've moved on. We need to go through the mechanical detangling process. That's not even a word, but how are we going to untangle this? Our finances, our stuff, the kids, all that stuff. And if she says, no, I don't want to talk to you. I'm out. Then you're going to have to go see a lawyer and you're going to have to go through the X's and O's yourself. And then you got to make a plan and then you got
Starting point is 00:18:53 to move on. Right? Yeah. And Jonathan, one last thing here, I want you to advocate for yourself because you've been hosed emotionally and relationally. I don't want you to get hosed financially on top of all of that. So make sure that you're protecting yourself too because a divorce turns a marriage into a business transaction. And that's unfortunately where we find ourselves. And you seem like such a big-hearted, sweet guy. You want to be a good father figure for these kids. You want to do the right things. And that means advocating for yourself and doing the things that John is talking about.
Starting point is 00:19:20 I'm so sorry you're going through this, man. It's really heartbreaking, Jonathan. Listen, when we go through hard relational heartbreak, the temptation is to withdraw. It feels right, man, but that's the worst thing you can do. You got to make sure you've got people in your corner. Reach out to somebody today, brother. So great to talk to you. In the lobby of Ramsey Solutions on the debt-free stage, it's Dwayne and Jenny. How are you guys doing? Doing great. Doing great. Where are you from?
Starting point is 00:20:14 Thief River Falls, Minnesota. Yep. That sounds nice. What's the nearest big city over there? Probably Fargo. Fargo, North Dakota. Okay. I'm hearing a little of the accent.
Starting point is 00:20:23 It makes me happy. Very peaceful. So, how much debt have you guys paid off? You want to say it? Yeah. About $59,600 and about $4. Just about $60. About here and there.
Starting point is 00:20:36 About to the penny. Congratulations, guys. Thank you. Appreciate it. How long did this take? About three and a half years. Wow. Okay, and what was your range of income during that time?
Starting point is 00:20:45 It went from about $66,000 up to about $77,000, back down to about $66,000. All right. Was there some side work involved there? What was going on? Yeah. She had a photography business, and I switched jobs multiple times, got laid off, lost jobs, just kept at it, man. Wow. That's awesome.
Starting point is 00:21:05 What do you guys do for a living? I work at DigiKey Electronics, customer service. I work in a CNC milling operation. Very cool. All right. I thought you were going to say a CNC music factory, and we were going to start singing. Right, right. But there you go.
Starting point is 00:21:19 A milling factory is good. So this $59,000, what kind of debt was this? It was most of mine. Two credit cards, student loans, a car loan, and then he had a car loan, IRS, and a lawyer. A little bit of everything. One party. IRS and a lawyer.
Starting point is 00:21:40 Just a debt party was going on. So what happened three and a half years ago that you guys woke up and said no more? Well, it actually started about a year before. I was going down to the Minnesota State Fair with my aunt and I talked to her about how I couldn't pay cash
Starting point is 00:22:00 for just a $10 meal. I had to put it on a credit card. She mentioned that there's this guy that teaches people how to get out of debt. And they do the snowball method. And she was explaining it to me. And I kind of thought it was sort of dumb and just kind of brushed it off and went on my way.
Starting point is 00:22:18 And then about a month later, I kind of sat down and thought about it and wrote down my list of debts and bought the total money makeover book. Didn't finish it, but I started FPU later in the January after meeting Duane. And then we kind of started off the debt-free journey art together. Right. Wow. And how did that conversation go when she sat down and looked at you, Duane, and said,
Starting point is 00:22:44 If you're going to be with me, we ride with Dee Ramsey. Right. Wow. And how did that conversation go when she sat down and looked at you, Dwayne, and said, if you're going to be with me, we ride with D. Ramsey. Man, it was actually real welcoming because before I even knew about Dave, I had been doing budgeting. Very similar, which I was surprised by, very similar to what he teaches. She came to me one day and said, hey, you know, I kind of got this down, but I see you're doing really well. Before we were engaged, and she's like, can you help me with this? So we just teamed up and got it done, and we battled through so many different obstacles. It was a battle.
Starting point is 00:23:19 Murphy definitely lived in our house. Yeah, kicked Sally Mayotte. What were some of those things that hit you guys where you're like, oh gosh, this again? You want me to take it? all right so uh she switched jobs one time to a far better employer better benefits better pay it was just an all-around better company uh me on the other hand i ran into a lot of struggles no joke uh bounced around from job to job from losing jobs or getting laid off. One company went bankrupt. Just never, ever stopped. Man, we had house problems because we bought a house that's like almost 90 years old. After we paid off the debt, the roof needed replacing. So it was just like, man, we could not catch a break.
Starting point is 00:24:04 Had we not had all the problems we had, we would have had to pay it off a year and a half earlier. But we just did not stop. Even being unemployed four or five months for me, we just stockpiled all that cash until we could get out. Once we got out, we just were glad we saved everything because the roof went. Wow. Hey. Yeah. Do you recognize what you've done? Yeah. Well, for both of us, we started this journey.
Starting point is 00:24:27 I know for me it was about just trying to get out of the hole to build wealth. The longer we've been on this journey, for me it's about leaving a legacy behind. What kind of legacy can I leave behind for her? If I go before her, and if we have kids, what kind of legacy can we leave for them? So it's like when her and i you know move on to you know the next life we have children that are going to have huge potential in front of them that we didn't have at that point so but you guys you found something out about duane and that's that duane is gonna i'm looking at you duane you found out stuff about duane which is duane didn't quit and duane keeps
Starting point is 00:25:04 going and the two of you found out that your relationship is stronger when y'all are together out stuff about Dwayne, which is Dwayne doesn't quit, and Dwayne keeps going. The two of you found out that your relationship is stronger when y'all are together and y'all are walking on the same road arm in arm, step by step, and you can get it done come what may. Nobody's getting between us. Look at you guys. You kept going and you kept getting up and you kept pulling each other up
Starting point is 00:25:22 and one of you get knocked down and get knocked down hard and you pick each other up and here you are, man. You are a testament. It sounds cool if you make half a million dollars, right, and you pay it off in four months. It's tough when you keep getting laid off and fired and then COVID and then up and then down and then the roof and you guys stayed after it and you stayed after it.
Starting point is 00:25:41 You are heroes not wearing capes. And I'm proud to know you. It's incredible, guys. I mean, yeah, it was just a heck of a journey. We've had people come up to us even on the airport yesterday. We had a guy come up to us. He's like, I know what show you're going on. How did he know?
Starting point is 00:25:58 Well, we could tell he was from the Midwest like we are. How do you tell someone's from the Midwest? This is a whole other one. Like he said, the accent. like we are how do you tell someone's from the midwest this is a whole nother one like he said the accent you know okay you can pick it up sure and uh he's he's like what do you guys you know what's the trip for we told him like oh cool you going on there i said yes we are that's incredible he's like oh i met a couple celebrities yeah very cool so what would you guys say the key is to getting out of debt? Sticking together. I'm the free spirit. He's the money guy.
Starting point is 00:26:28 And it was a lot of no's and a lot of maybe later's. But it's just sticking to the budget and sticking together and just seeing the end goal was a really big part for me. Have you guys ever been debt-free in your adult life? No, but he has been. I was debt-free before I met her. And then he bought a car. Then I went stupid. You forgot to pay old Uncle Sam, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't do that anymore. Yeah, there you go. You guys cleaned up a whole big mess and you fought and fought and scraped and clawed to get to where you are today.
Starting point is 00:27:05 How does it feel to be debt-free? It feels amazing. Yeah, it's definitely like a weight lifted off your shoulders. Has the check cleared where you had no bills? Yeah, we've had that several times. And you got to feel what it looks like to think, where does it go? Yeah. Well, yeah, we were – I mean, just even having our family members, they're just like, wow, you guys did something really amazing.
Starting point is 00:27:26 That's incredible. I've gotten comments from people halfway across the world that have commented to me and just been like, man, wow, that's pretty incredible. Good for you guys. You guys are an impressive bunch. We're so honored to have you here today. We've got a copy of The Legacy Journey for you. That is absolutely the next chapter in your story as you now build wealth and give generously
Starting point is 00:27:46 and outrageously for the rest of your life. We also have a copy of the Total Money Makeover that you can give to someone else so they can say, this is dumb.
Starting point is 00:27:53 And they go, wait, actually, this might work. I might try this out. So we have a copy of both of those books for you. And we are just honored to have you here today.
Starting point is 00:28:01 Congratulations on debt freedom. Appreciate it. Thank you. You ready for this? Yes. The moment we've all been waiting for, John. Let's do this. It's Dwayne and Ginny from Fargo, North Dakota area.
Starting point is 00:28:11 They paid off $59,000 and some change in three and a half years, making 66 up to 77, back to 66. And now they're here to do a debt-free scream. Count it down. Three, two, one. We're debt-free scream. Count it down. Three, two, one. We're debt-free! Dwayne and Jenny. They brought the power on that one, John. They're not fooling around.
Starting point is 00:28:35 Oh, now they're hugging. That's so amazing. I love the hand-in-hand. It gets me every time. When the interlocking hand on the debt-free scream, there is just like nothing's going to stop these people. Can't pull it apart. George, there's – man, I say this every time.
Starting point is 00:28:49 It's my favorite part of the show is to get to take the theories and the hypotheses and the math problem out and see two people who said six months ago, two years ago, three and a half years ago, we're putting a stake in the ground and we're never doing this again. Let's change everything. And they fall down. They scrape their knees. They get hit in the head. They get punched in the ground and we're never doing this again let's change everything and they fall down they scrape their knees they get hit in the head they get hit punched in the mouth they keep going to keep going to keep going and they show up here accomplishing a goal together saying never again and their grandkids aren't going to know the struggles that they endured because they said no more it's amazing it's amazing what the human spirit can do when it realizes this can take control. And you can too, America. You can become debt-free and scream on that stage just like Blaine and Jimmy.
Starting point is 00:29:32 Congratulations, guys. This is The Rain. Our script for the day comes from Habakkuk 319. The sovereign Lord is my strength. He makes me as sure-footed as a deer, able to tread upon the heights. Christopher Reeve said, So many of our dreams at first seem impossible. Then they will seem improbable. And then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable. Love that.
Starting point is 00:30:20 Open phones this hour, 888-825-5225. Ethan joins us in Phoenix, Arizona. Ethan, welcome to The Ramsey Show. Hi, how's it going? Great. How can we help today? Good. I'm so glad you guys took my call.
Starting point is 00:30:35 It's crazy that I'm even talking to you guys. So I decided to do... I'm calling because I'm getting married in two months. Woo! Congrats, brother. Awesome. Yeah. Thank you. Woo! Congrats, brother. Awesome. Yeah. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:30:46 Thank you. Thank you. And my, I guess you can say girlfriend's father-in-law, he has a little bit of trouble with money, and it makes me really sad because he makes pretty good money for being, he makes good money and whatever, but I just wanted to know boundary wise and where's my standpoint like how can I help him being his son-in-law help him
Starting point is 00:31:12 with his money like do I say something or what do you guys think never under any circumstances ever not your circus not your monkey not your job your job is to take care of your wife to to love her, to co-create an incredible home and financial legacy and create a remarkable household that's going to make you good neighbors and good community members and good citizens and good church members, whatever you're all going to do with your life. But your father-in-law's life is your father-in-law's life.
Starting point is 00:31:47 If he ever takes you out for breakfast one day and says, hey, man, tell me about this way you guys are doing this, great. But no, it's not your job, man. The best thing you can do is live your life publicly in such a way where he's like, whoa, you guys did what? You can pay cash for cars? How did you do that? That's the only way he's going to take any advice from you. Okay.
Starting point is 00:32:10 You were about to say something. What were you about to say? The reason I ask is because he is going through like a divorce in his life. He married someone who was keeping on the books. But I'm expecting the question to come up pretty soon because recently in my adult life he's seen the way that i treat money in the way that i save up and stuff and we're really open with money but to him so he sees the way that we you know live our lives with money i sense a question or a concern from him coming soon about how he can do the same thing because he
Starting point is 00:32:45 talks all the time about how he never has enough money or he just lives paycheck to paycheck and whatnot. So I was just wondering when the question does come from him, I would never really just be like, hey, you got to do this with money. I was more wanting to know when the question arises from him, what can I say or what can I do? For a wedding present, Ethan, we're going to send you a copy of Total Money Makeover, and I want you just to hold it. And if that question ever comes up, I want you to tell your father-in-law, read this book, and if you have questions after this book,
Starting point is 00:33:22 you and I will go grab coffee, and you can look at him and smile and say you're paying and um i'll talk to you about how we do this and for sure let um let the book it's a step-by-step process and we're going to give it to you for a wedding gift um and let that book be the entry point because what you don't want to do is create a well i know what you should be doing with your father-in-law. He's already going to have enough problems with you, man. You're marrying his daughter, for crying out loud. So keep the peace. It sounds like you're anticipating something because you want him to ask you.
Starting point is 00:33:57 And you have what you think is the right answer, and you can't wait to give it to him. And what I want to tell you, brother, let that go. His money is the way he's chosen to handle his money that's it that's his circus man and as guy to guy as um husband to almost husband to about to be new family members he sits down and says hey let's talk hand him that book and say we'll we'll follow up later but man stay out of that business man because you're – like George said, you proselytize to the world by how you live your life. That's going to be the loudest, most beautiful way you can communicate this message. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:34:33 And I think once it is solicited, it's a different conversation. You can do that with grace. You've been invited in, right? Yeah, and you're not going to do it with judgment. I can hear it in your voice that you really do want to help him. And so I think once that day comes, absolutely grab coffee and show him how you did it. That's it. And you don't have to say you're doing terrible financially and I can help. You're just showing him the tools that you used as well. I just can't. I'm trying to just imagine
Starting point is 00:34:55 if I'd called my father-in-law a week after my honeymoon and been like, hey, all right, so here's a couple of things you're doing wrong with your money and that wouldn't have gone well. Yeah. And it's so hard with your money. That wouldn't have gone well. Yeah, and it's so hard with family. They still wouldn't have found my body. Yeah, you want them to win. You want to love them. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:11 And that's not your circus. Yep. All right, we're moving on to Larry in Long Beach, California. Larry, welcome to The Ramsey Show. Yeah, hi. How are you doing? Great. How can we help?
Starting point is 00:35:22 Yeah, I'm sitting there. I've got a question. I'm sitting there, I've got a question. I'm sitting there, I've got a low interest loan, 3%, and I've got about 15 or 16 payments left. And I also have the money in my savings account right now that I'm getting next to nothing for the interest. And so I thought about taking the money and just transferring it over, paying off the mortgage.
Starting point is 00:35:43 But that means I would go from basically my emergency funds from six months down to three months. So I was calling to see what you guys would say. Okay. So you've got a mortgage that you're only debt. Is that correct? Yeah. Yeah. I have no other debt. And you're wondering if you can... I owe about $24,000 on it. $24,000. Okay. What is your financial situation outside of that? Your income stable? Do you have a spouse? Yeah, my income's stable.
Starting point is 00:36:12 I make about $120,000 a year. And I've got about $57,000 in the bank right now. Hey, Larry. So it's like, okay, yes. Congratulations. You'll be debt-free by the end of the day oh cool this is incredible this is a great spot to be how much is left on the mortgage yeah 24 000 yeah 24 200 and change and you've got 57 in your emergency fund so you're cutting in half down to
Starting point is 00:36:39 three months but guess what your expenses just got lower didn didn't they? Exactly. That's right. So you're going to push this back to six months. I was talking to my wife about it, and she says, okay, let's see what Dave would say. Well, we'll be Dave's proxy, and he would say the same thing. He is way better looking, and he's done this a lot longer. But if you're going to hang on to that three-month emergency fund, man, you're going to be debt-free by the end of the day. Write them a check, and then you all go out to dinner and celebrate tonight because you good folks are are officially debt-free house and everything this is huge i'm excited for you guys do you feel it yet yeah thank you yeah i mean i'm in that spot right now that i'm like hey go either way but yeah we've been leaning that way in fact last night i had the bank on the phone oh my gosh okay what's
Starting point is 00:37:21 my payout balance you know? And so they told me. And so we have everything set up for the 8th of October. And they go, yeah, if you stick with that, then fine, you follow through. And I'm like, okay, fine, because I already made the September payment. So I'm okay with a little bit, a few more days. Yeah, basically, I know what I need to do from here. What is this house worth? I would say $750 to000 to $800,000. Woo!
Starting point is 00:37:48 Oh, my gosh. Are we talking to a millionaire now, Larry? 100%. Yes. Brother, congratulations. In Long Beach, California. People can't pay off their homes in California, John. It's impossible.
Starting point is 00:37:59 It's impossible, Larry. You can't pay off your house in California and have an emergency fund. And listen, so you're going to take your $120,000. You're going to pay this off in what? In four months, you're going to have this emergency fund back up, right? Right. And you're going to have a fully funded emergency fund. You're going to have a million dollars plus in what's your retirement?
Starting point is 00:38:21 What you got in retirement accounts? Well, I have two retirements coming in, one from a company I've been with for 25 years and another for a little over five, plus the money I stuck on the side. So I've got 401ks in a couple different locations. What's the amount? Currently, right now, I'm at about $750,000. Larry!
Starting point is 00:38:41 Let's go, Larry. Congratulations, man. Baby steps millionaire. Just like that. Larry, I just want, Larry. Congratulations, man. Baby steps millionaire. Just like that. Larry, I just want, as we close the show out, what advice would you give, inspiration would you give to another guy out there who may be wanting to be where you are? It just needs to be a priority.
Starting point is 00:38:58 I mean, I've kind of set myself there. I knew about Dave for a long time. I've listened to him forever. I took his classes. And you knew about Dave for a long time. I've listened to him forever. I took his classes. And you knew about him. You took his classes. And he did it. And you did it with priorities and intentionality. Way to go, Larry. I love it. That puts this hour of the show in the books. I want to thank producer James Childs, associate producer Kelly Daniel. Spend wisely, save intentionally, give outrageously.
Starting point is 00:39:24 This is The Ramsey Show. Dave here. We just launched a brand new listener survey. We want to know what you think about the show. You'll be entered to win a $100 Amazon gift card. No purchase necessary. Take the survey at ramseysolutions.com slash survey or text survey to 33789.

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