The Ramsey Show - App - I’m Begging You Not To Do This! (Hour 1)

Episode Date: April 20, 2023

Dave Ramsey & Dr. John Delony answer your questions and discuss: "Should I move after losing my job?"  Taking out a HELOC for a downpayment, "Should I use all my savings pay off debt?" Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: https://bit.ly/3cEP4n6 Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6 Learn more about your ad choices. https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the pods moving and storage studios, it's The Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Dr. John Deloney, host of the Dr. John Deloney Show, number one best-selling author of the fabulous book, Own Your Past, Change Your Future. I was trying to remember it there for a second. It was breaking me down. Open phones here at 888-825-5225. Let's start with Nick in Sacramento this hour. Hey, Nick, how are you? I'm doing great. How are you doing? Better than I deserve.

What's up? Such an honor to talk to you. We actually came and did our debt-free screen back in 2017, and you've definitely changed our lives, so thank you. Well, thank you. You changed your life. We just showed you how. Proud of you. Thanks.

So I just found out on Monday that I am being laid off as of next Friday. Awesome. Yeah. So we only have our mortgage, obviously, because we're debt-free. And I'm getting 12 weeks of severance, so that's good. Yes. And I've been with the company 19 years. So I was just, I had transferred out to California from Buffalo seven years ago and the guy that had recruited me here, he is in a different state.

He's out in Colorado and he's asked me if I want to move out there for a position. And I'm trying to decide if that's a good move. I'm a manager and sales, so it would be a sales position. So what do you make now? $77. Cool. So how much more is he going to pay you in Colorado? He said his lowest paid employee makes commission of about $110.

And I'm more, they're not half the salesperson i am so you're going to be sales or sales manager sales okay all right and does he have a base no there is no base is it selling the same kind of thing you're selling now? No, it's a totally different product. What part of Colorado? Denver. Okay. Well, Denver's a great city. Yeah, it is.

And we have family there. We have a brother there, but we had moved here because my wife's parents and sister and all the rest of the family is here. How long is it going to take you to get a book of business up and going? Is he going to hand you a client list or is he going to just point you to the door and say, go get them? Yeah, the leads are generated. So how long before you start making money, dude? It would be eight weeks of training, he said.

And then I'd be pretty much on my own eight weeks of training with no pay no eight weeks of training um with eight hundred dollars a week so they have a training pay okay what are you selling what would be you'd be selling in denver hvac okay um okay uh there's nothing here that sounds bad except the straight commission part and the part where uh you go out with the first girl that says you look good right after your divorce that's why i wouldn't do it that's just me you wouldn't do it 19 years and you got kicked in the teeth and the first guy the first person that looks at you and says you're handsome you go running that scares me okay uh so i want you to do some more shopping a comparative shopping as to what you're worth in the marketplace i'm guessing the reason i said awesome is when you've been in a job 19 years it's it's not unusual at all for you to get a job making more when you leave there.

You have 12 weeks to do that and end up with a net signing bonus because your severance turns into a signing bonus if you go ahead and get employed now. And they laid you off last Friday with no notice. They laid me off Monday, and I'm employed until next Friday. Oh, okay. Okay. So two weeks notice. Yep.

So I'll get my 12-week severance, five weeks of owed vacation time, plus So two weeks notice. Yep, so I'll get my 12 weeks severance, five weeks of owed vacation time, plus these two weeks that I'm working. Okay, alright. So the equivalent of 18 weeks. Yes. Yeah. Okay. Cool. Well, that's a lot of time for you to land on your feet making more than you

used to make. If you want to leave Sacramento, it doesn't sound like you're tied up there or anything and denver's fine i'm not down on denver and i don't necessarily hate the job it's just that you haven't really looked at anything else and i think you take a week or two here and just see what you're worth in the marketplace you might be really pleasantly surprised that somebody offers you a hundred and a quarter base with an upside of 200 that'd be pretty cool and that would be awesome do the

you're worth more than just following a job around and what i mean by that is take a minute and you've been doing the same thing for two decades take a minute just to say hey what i want my life to look like in five or ten years? Where do I want to be? What do I want to be doing? Are you married, you said? Yes, Sam. What's she saying about all this? She is very confused because she's a teacher and she's credentialed, but she has to clear a credential, and that's California,

and then have to transfer everything to Colorado. It would be a hassle. Well, to transfer it anywhere would be a hassle. Yeah, but maybe the conversation is sitting down with her and saying, okay, you and I, we have a magic moment. Somebody pushed us off a cliff, not great, but we have a long, nice parachute before we hit the ground. What do we want to do? Do we want to stay in California? She might tell you, I really want to stay here. But it's hard when a husband just got his legs knocked out from under him. He comes home and says, all right, I found a new job, pack it up, we're going to Colorado. It's hard when a husband just got his legs knocked out from under him. He comes home and says, all right, I found a new job.

Pack it up. We're going to Colorado. It's hard for somebody to put up a roadblock in that scenario, right? Because she knows you're hurting. She knows you feel abandoned. These guys betrayed you, yeah? And so she's not going to say no unless you ask, right? So sit down and say, hey, what do we want this to look like?

Take her on a nice dinner. How old are you? I am 40, 41 in two weeks. So ask yourself, what do you want to be doing when you're 61? And let's aim at that. And then ask yourself, what has to be true for me to be doing that when I'm 61? And where do I want to be doing it? Because you followed the job to Sacramento.

So you're in Sacramento by default, not by plan. So you have an opportunity here to reset and actually plan where you want to be it's a tail wagging the dog not where they drag you to there you go you don't have to corporate gypsy you can get to pick I pick ta-da wherever I want to live and you may want to go someplace you know I don't know but and they may sit down and say you know it'd be awesome to go have an adventure in Denver that'd be great now there's nothing wrong with that you may circle back to that but I wouldn't pick it when it's your only option on the table. I would put like five other options on the table and make that Denver deal rise to the top.

I might also ask Denver Bubba to cover my base for a while. If he, you're easily the best salesman that I've ever seen. Well, then you got to, you know, it's an 80 base, and, you know, I've got to earn through that. It's a draw. I've got to earn through it. You know, put your money where your mouth is if you think I'm such a stud. And I need some help getting here, too.

Yeah. Right? Whatever you need. Yeah. Well, exactly. And so, yeah, let's do that. I want some more options. I don't want you to take eight weeks over analyzing this. I want you to take eight days,

and I want you to go on five job interviews by Zoom or otherwise. I want you out there poking around, finding what is out there. Nick, you're probably going to be surprised in this current environment where there is a labor shortage, that you are worth more than you are being paid at the other place and they did you a favor that's why when you said i got laid off i said awesome it probably means an awesome new adventure and more pay if you'll mess with this just a little bit hang on we're going to see you ken coleman's uh get clear assessment for free in his new book

number one bestseller paycheck to purpose to Purpose. All of that you definitely need to read in the next 24, 48 hours. This is The Ramsey Show. Hey, you guys. Health insurance costs are only moving one way, and that way isn't down. And if higher costs aren't enough, the wait times to see your doctor are longer, and it's harder than ever to get anything approved through the bureaucracy. So if you feel like the system is working against you, try a biblically-based alternative to health insurance, Christian Healthcare Ministries. CHM is a health cost-sharing ministry that's helped hundreds of thousands of families like yours take care of over $11 billion in medical bills since 1981. And CHM has also helped them stay true to their values

and avoid miles of red tape. And CHM support goes far beyond meeting financial needs. They'll also help meet spiritual needs. Members become part of a family who will pray with them and for them when they experience a medical event. So listen, y'all, there's no better way to take care of health care costs. CHM programs start as low as $98 a month. So learn more today and join at chministries.org slash budget. That's ch ministries dot org slash budgets dr john deloney ramsey personality is my co-host today the phone number here 888-825-5225 john these questions for humans cards are an unbelievable blockbuster hit. We can't keep them in the store. It's wild, huh? It's crazy. Yeah.

Yeah. So here's the thing, man. You have those moments when you're sitting next to somebody and you feel a thousand miles apart from them. I used to think that was a character issue or you weren't a good dad or a good... Now I just realized we've just grown up in a generation we don't have those skills.

And some of y'all are feeling that you're a thousand miles away from people that you care about right now. So we've got to put down our phones. We've substituted deep... For God's sakes,

put down our phones. Meaningful conversations for Netflix and scrolling. You deserve better relationships. And that means having better conversations. And that's why we created Questions for Humans.

These are conversation starters that will help you disconnect from your screens and actually connect and have fun with people you care about. There's a deck for everyone. Dating, couples, girls night. By the way, we got some extraordinary, brilliant women to do girls night. It's not just me and my buddies

sitting in a room thinking this would be hilarious. Guys night, parents and kids, friends editions and more. They've been flying off the shelves and all these will get you spending time laughing together, learning something unexpected. Pick up one, two, or all of our questions for human starters and have fun together. You can go to ramsaysolutions.com slash humans.

It's possible that there is no human harder to talk to than a teenage child. It's very difficult. It's very difficult. So having a deck of cards that you just pull one out and you ask a question, and before you know it, everybody's laughing and telling stories and admitting to things they shouldn't and everything else. Yeah, it's pretty crazy.

And what's been fun is when these cards were first coming out, I would test them on my own kids, and my son was finishing fifth grade entering into sixth grade and now he's almost through seventh grade and his answers to the same questions are different now and it's been fun it's been cool and uh we were they're all they're growing with us and so anyway i'm loving it i use them in my house is all it is is the best uh advertisement i could give for them yeah and we can't keep them i mean we order them and they just go out of here like crazy so ramsey solutions.com slash humans questions for humans cards in the store at ramsey solutions.com be sure and check them out tina's in fort lauderdale hi tina how

are you hi guys appreciate your show i'm good thanks um my my question is around using a HELOC to put 20% down on a new home. Nope. And then selling the current home right after closing on the new home. Oh, that home. I got confused. Okay. Yeah. So you're going to close on another property before yours closes?

I would like to. That's pretty dangerous yeah okay what happens if it doesn't close you got two house payments and you know what you become after that we call them a motivated seller who sells their house cheap because they get stuck three times that happened to me whoa you didn't learn after the first one no no three times i have gone to closing or within a week of closing the deal has fallen through oh when i'm trying to sell a property oh yeah yeah i see okay and yeah we're going to close on the second one after the first one closes then we use yeah i just did that i just that. I am in my second real estate property now. And when I sold the first home to get into this new home that I live in now,

it was really stressful for me to not have anywhere to live, like in the interim. I happen to just... You know what's more stressful? Two house payments. Yeah, two mortgages. How long of a gap are you talking here? I mean, I would immediately, like when I would close, I would put the original home up for sale. I guess my idea of doing it that way is because, you know, this closing on this new, the sale that I did just now, it was really stressful for me to move. I was, I need to find a home.

Where am I going to live? You know, and I would have preferred to be able to secure a home for me first. So write a contract on the property you're purchasing contingent on the sale of yours and set the closings up on the same day. But if your current house doesn't close, you don't close on the new one because you're going to end up with two house payments in a market that has slowed down with higher interest rates, and you're going to be calling me two years from now going,

I've done the dumbest thing. I got two house payments. It's killing me. Can you help me dave okay and then aside from that so what if i could take out a heloc enough to pay for a home cash um because i have quite a bit of well enough equity equity in my current home. Listen, here's what, Tina, you be you, okay? You go be you. That's what you need to do. Don't take out a HELOC ever, ever. Period.

Ever. Sell your stinking house and move, and quit talking to me about stress. You're trading one kind of stress for another because you don't perceive the risk that after 30 years of doing what I do, I've seen people step in it up to their knees and i'm begging you not to do that i'm begging you all right trevor's up trevor's in fayetteville north carolina hi trevor how are you hey mr ramsey i'm doing well how are you better than i deserve how can we help so my baby's step one and there's some maintenance some some urgent, some petty, that needs to be done on my wife and I's car. Petty?

Should I go ahead? What's petty? Petty, just small stuff. Just small stuff. Like a filter, a cabin filter, and an engine air filter. Just kind of small stuff. It's like 30 bucks. Yeah, so that's my question that goes in

your budget that goes in your budget okay an air filter is not petty it's one of those things that your engines need to to run yeah but it's it's it's a petty amount of money gotcha there you go right exactly i don't know the cabin air filters are a couple of million dollars these days yeah i'm thinking not, but yeah. I would not. Yeah. You know, you're going to change. While you're doing baby step one, two, and three,

and you're living on a tight budget, you're probably going to change your oil and buy gas for the car. And you're probably going to put a filter in it. So that's all just part of your budget, though. It doesn't really interrupt, other than it slows down the amount of extra cash you have to throw at debt anything you spend on obviously can't go towards the debt but you have to buy food you have to pay the electricity i mean you have to keep the car operating and so some basic stuff like that's fine but yeah you know i want to do a petty home remodel i want to paint three rooms no you wait on the room you wait on painting your

rooms until you get out of debt or i want to jack my car up or get new shocks or something hang in there yeah i want i want new wheels no your spinners will wait or like james he put a special thing muffler on his car so it's really really no he didn't okay so it makes a loud noise when he drives down the road oh mine just came that way from the factory it says redneck on the we can hear you coming man redneck on this window sticker but there you go if somebody in the parking lot says hey is dave here everyone just gets real quiet yeah there it is right there yeah a new raptor has got a great voice it really does open phones at 888-825-5225 dr john deloney ramsey personality is my co-host today john um let's talk through for in the one minute we got going into the break that what causes someone from a psychological perspective to have a stressed

out situation like the lady a few minutes ago on the double move thing she didn't want to move she had a stressful move and she's trading that for another kind of stress and ignoring the risk her body put a gps pin in the distress she had last time and said let's never do this again and at any cost at any cost and so it's the stress she knows stress she remembers the devil i know and then there's this other amorphous thing that probably won't happen except you and i wouldn't have a job if it didn't happen all the time and so it's it's it's why people go gamble and they gamble and they gamble and they gamble they've been broke so they don't

want to be that but because they one time one time it hit yep yeah that that time god sharon put a quarter when we were like 20-something years old. We were on this little horrible cruise line. Put a quarter in a slot machine and won like $130 in quarters. They were going everywhere. She put $600 in those machines before we got off that boat. Trying to do it again. That's exactly what it is, isn't it?

It's the same thing. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, it's 25 or 28 years ago, and I've never let her forget it. And it works in the reverse with pain, right? So just don't do it, man. Just don't do it.

This is The Ramsey Show. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, number one bestselling author, is my co-host today. In the lobby, Ramsey personality, number one best-selling author, is my co-host today. In the lobby of Ramsey Solutions on the debt-free stage, Todd and Rebecca are with us. Hey, guys, how are you? Doing great. How are you? Better than we deserve. Where do you guys live? We live in the panhandle of Nebraska known as Scott's Bluff.

All right. Welcome to Nashville. That's a bit of a haul down here. Yeah, 1,200 miles one way. Wow. Amazing. Welcome. How much debt have you guys paid off? Paid off $62,000 in 13 months. Wow.

And your range of income during that year? We started off at $101,000 and towards the end we finished at $125,000. Good for you. What do you guys do for a living? I'm an elementary teacher. Awesome. What grade do you teach? Fifth.

All right. And I'm all kinds of things, but I am a maintenance supervisor in a small school district south of Scotts Bluff. Ah, okay. And started hitting on one of the teachers, huh? Exactly. Well played, Todd. Well played. She's the reason why we moved out, huh? Exactly. Well played, Todd. Well played.

She's the reason why we moved out there. We're originally from Wyoming, so. Yeah, it was underhand pitch, dude. Sorry. All right, what kind of debt was the $62,000? Well, we were pretty normal, Dave. We had car loan, student loan, credit card, medical debt. I mean, we had just about everything you could have

absolutely how long y'all been married five years now okay sure this track after yeah y'all looked at each other this much fun this much fun how the uh so after about three years of marriage you look up and say something's got to change how'd you get on this ramsey stuff oh boy well it's it's kind of a funny story dave i hope you don't get offended by it i'm very seldom offended um you uh you came across the radio station there in town and uh your commercial said you know getting getting money on on credit is bad and debit's good you know and i thought man what is this southern man gonna tell this mid Midwestern man how to spend his money? And sure enough, I was out there working in the bus barn on Friday night, 6 o'clock, trying to get work done.

And I started saying, well, you can get out of debt. You can get out of debt. And just like Beetlejuice, you just kind of started appearing all over the place. I mean, it was nuts. The next day, my dad comes up to me, and he goes, you know what that crazy Dave Ramsey man wants you to do? He wants you to take your bank account down to $1,000. I was like, oh, man, that is way too crazy for me.

Two days later, I looked it up, found FPU, came home to my wife, and I said, hey, I'm gonna spend 100 bucks on or whatever it is on this class to get us out of debt and uh long story short I ended up having a 10 hour round trip down to Kansas to pick up some equipment for the school and I listened to every single video of FPU there and back and I came home that night ready to go. I was all in, man. Rebecca, he didn't take you on the ride. He did not.

He did not take you on the ride. Nope. I could see this coming a mile away. Yep. Yeah, we – You're that guy, aren't you? Yeah. That's how it works.

He brought home Tupperware. He brought home Avon, and now he's got Dave Ramsey. Yes, exactly. Yeah, yeah. So what did you say, Rebecca, your nutty husband? I was a little concerned about him at first. I just, I had no idea about anything that he was talking about. And so when he bought it and said, let's watch this together, I said, to do together that's wonderful and i started watching it and to be very honest with you dave

i was not into it at first i was very scared to take that risk because i always wanted a safety blanket sure but i stuck with it i trusted my husband and the things that he was doing the research he was doing and it definitely paid off in the end okay so you guys leaned into it together but it was a little weird start there yeah it was yeah okay that's fair that's fair she had to pick between two nutty guys and she went with that one yeah thank you good choice you know we how's it feel to be free? Oh, it's, it's fantastic. It's life changing. I can't imagine anything better for our family. This is the life I wanted to live for a long time.

I came from a family that never believed in debt, but had a hard time getting out of debt, you know, and now that we're here, I never going back again. You guys live in a part of the country that I mean it the whole farming cycles is is all dead everybody you live with and work with live in this thing yeah we are surrounded by dead I mean when you got a $300,000 tractor and somebody that's making 35,000 a year right I mean that's that's what we're surrounded by and a lien on your thousand dollar I mean thousand acre property I mean that. I mean, your neighbors can't breathe, right? Oh, yeah. It's kind of heartbreaking when you look at all the poor guys around us that are trying to supply us food.

And they're just straddled with all these loans. You know, it's hard. They feed the world. Exactly. But they're amazing farmers. Yeah. And they work like crazy. Yeah.

Way to go, you two. All right, now that you did it, what are the keys out there to pay off 62,013 months? What do you do to get out of debt? For me, it's discipline and perseverance. You have to be willing to do the hard things to get the return in the end. I had to be very disciplined with my budget.

I had to, oh, I have a little bit of money here. I can move it over here and go get my nails done. No big deal. Well, as you can see, my nails aren't. Me and Dave were just talking about that before. Our nails are looking rough. Deloney, it's been a while for him. Well, if you have it in your budget, then absolutely.

It's not easy, but it's worth it in the end, the discipline, the perseverance, and because of the decisions we made. If you live like no one else later, you can live and give like no one else. There's a price to be paid to win. Exactly. Well, we had a couple prices to pay. I mean, three weeks after I took FPU, I went home and sold my GTO, my race car. Four months later, I came home again.

I told my wife, look, if we want this to go faster, we're going to have to get rid of the SRT8 Jeep for an Impala. Yeah. That was a hard blow to the ego. Then you knew he was serious, huh, Rebecca? I did. I did. What did the GTO sell for?

We ended up selling it for about $39,000. Goodness gracious. Yeah. It was one of only 700 in the world, so it was really hard to get rid of. You chose your family's future. That's right. Yeah. I figured, you know what

when i'm out of debt i can go get whatever car i want drive whatever i want and do whatever i want so yeah so let me just help you people out there in america if a guy sells his 39 000 gto for the good of his family's future he's what's known as a man not a boy that's very manly pretty impressive thank you pretty impressive dude i'm so proud of you so cool to meet you guys you're amazing you too very very well done we try you brought the kid you brought the kid with you uh and let's bring the child up age and name and all that stuff give us an introduction here yeah this is uh malia may she's two years old all right malia may very good hey we've got the live and give bundle for you which is the number one bestseller the baby steps millionaires book on your next step where you'll be a millionaire and then of

course total money makeover book which you guys are plugged into and the financial peace university you plugged into so you can give some of these things you can live with some of these things they're gifts for you to say thanks for coming down here very very cool very well done i'm so proud of y'all thank you good work good work you are heroes and people that make decisions like that selling that car that's that was not an easy call man that's pretty serious right there that's that impressive. Very impressive. All right, Todd, Rebecca, and Malia from Scotts Bluff, Nebraska. $62,000 paid off in 13 months. Make it 101 to 125. Count it down.

Let's hear a debt-free scream. You ready, Malia? Three, two, one. We're debt-free! Yeah! Wow! All right! That's amazing.

The first time I ever saw that was many decades ago. I was sitting in a small group in Financial Peace University. I was leading the group, and this old boy from Kentucky came in, and he was a big old guy like that guy. His wife was a tiny little thing. Tears started running down her face, and she said, I've never felt as loved by my husband in our 10 years of marriage as I do right now. And I said, what?

He sold his unbelievable knife collection he had for $10,000 to get his family out of debt. And it was one of his most prized possessions. And he put his family ahead of that. Of stuff. And, boy, she felt loved. Wow. It was pretty impressive. This is The Ramsey Show.

Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. If you're a new listener, and we know there's a bunch of you based on our ratings and rankings out there, and you don't know what we're talking about half the time around here, if you want to learn about the inside talk, like baby steps and debt snowballs and all that kind of stuff, There's a bunch of you based on our ratings and rankings out there. You don't know what we're talking about half the time around here. If you want to learn about the inside talk, like baby steps and debt snowballs and all that kind of stuff, hit RamseySolutions.com. Click on the Get Started button. It's a free process. We'll help you identify where you are and what your next best steps are,

and you can join in this whole conversation. Get started. Free service at ramsey solutions dot com ray is in boston hi ray welcome to the ramsey show hey ray uh uh hey dave thank you so much for having me on how's it going better than we deserve sir how can we help yeah so i'm wondering um yeah so i've been listening to you for a um for a few months now i was just wondering, yeah, so I've been listening to you for a few months now. I was just wondering if it was a smart idea to dip into my savings to pay off all the debt I want, just, you know, rip the Band-Aid right off.

Generally, yes. Why would you not do that? Just because, you know, in industry I'm in right now is going through a lot of layoffs. I'm just weary of just like, you know, should I just get rid of all my, you know, get rid of a big portion of my savings? What if I get laid off in like two months or something? What industry are you in? Tech. What do you do?

I'm a software slash data engineer. You can get a job in 20 seconds. Yeah, but... If big tech lays you off, that's what's known as a blessing. And there's people hiring. I mean, I can hire 10 data engineers this moment. We got job postings right now, and I'm not the only one. Man, you're sitting in the catbird seat.

You can get a job in 30 seconds. If you're any good. Are you good? Yeah, of course. Okay. There's that Boston. And humble. Yeah. There's that Boston.

I mean, yeah, you're fine. No. I mean, have they announced that your particular job is going to be alleviated in the next six weeks? No. No. Then quit whining and worrying about what might happen and go live your life. Yeah, so my question is,

so I make about $135 a year, and I have a 20% bonus coming up. Should I just take that bonus and just... Yeah, you also have money in savings. Yep, I have about $85,000 saved up. Okay, and so how much is your bonus? Bonus is about... After taxes, I'm not sure, but it's about 20% of my entire salary. Okay, so about another $25,000 or $30,000 on top of $85,000.

Am I getting this right? So you've got like $125,000 cash laying around. How much debt have you got? I've got about $23,000. Oh, good lord. It's a shame about Ray. Poor Ray. Pay it off.

Poor Ray. He's only got $100,000 left over after he paid off his debt. How's he going to make it? I don't know how he's going to make it. He's going to starve. Raymond, pay off your debts today. Ray. Do you hear what you just said?

Yeah, I don't know. I'm just very sort of like i like i like what i'll be like okay listen you're using your emotions to make financial decisions yeah because your math is sucks you have 125 000 and 25 000 in debt and so after you pay off all your debt and you're 100 debt free this is not even a question you should have to ask yeah so you're living up in the worry zone dale carnegie one of the great minds of another century said that 80 of what we worry about never occurs and their percentage of the 20 that we worry about we don't have any control over anyway so quit spending all your

energy and burning calories worrying you spend a lot of time fretting it's good to get a piece of paper and just do the facts of your friends exercise if you pay this debt off you have no bills you have 80 percent of an annual income so you got what 10 months of of pay and cash you're fine too much you're good and cash still wow yes jeff jeff jeff jeff jeff is in atlanta hi jeff welcome to the ramsey show hey good afternoon dave good afternoon john um my question is a little bit different than the prior prior caller i'm looking to make sure i'm not being so detached and only looking at the numbers. The opposite end. Okay, I got you.

I see what you're saying, Jeff. Okay. No, that's okay. You can do either one. We'll just tell you the truth either way. So what's up? How can we help? That's what I'm good with.

So a couple of years ago, I went through a divorce, and I've got three kids caught in the middle. I wound up getting remarried last year, but my ex-wife moved about an hour away. So we went back to the court system. The court system ultimately decided that even though I retained the marital home so that the kids could stay in their schools, that there's no reason why she's not allowed to leave. So there for a while we were doing 50-50, and it would take me about an hour and a half to get the kids to school in the morning and another hour to get home. Ultimately, this is not sustainable.

It's not good for the kids to be in the car that long. Not good for anybody. My financial question is, do I sell my home that i have at a three percent rate and buy something on that side of town so i can see my kids more even though it's going to increase my monthly expenses after the court cases my where's your where's your work i work from home oh okay what about your new spouse? Are you remarried? I am remarried. She would then have, you know, she works 10 minutes down the road now.

So if we move, she'll be commuting an hour to work. So it's kind of, I don't know what to do because basically if I sold this house. About halfway in between. Yeah, halfway in between. Here's the deal. Ask yourself this question. What's the percentage rate your kids are worth? because basically if I sold this house... About halfway in between. Yeah, halfway in between. Here's the deal. Ask yourself this question. What's the percentage rate your kids are worth?

Well, my kids are worth anything. That's right. So does it matter that the interest rates are 6%? I don't care what the interest rate is. It doesn't matter. I'm going to be around my kids. And it doesn't even matter financially. Mathematically, it's not that big a deal. But what you...

Because here's the thing. You're not going to prosper financially, maritally, or as a dad in a situation that's not sustainable. And so when you get yourself in a place that's sustainable, you'll make more money. You'll have a better quality life. And so landing 30 – drop a GPS pin 30 minutes between each two of these things so 30 minutes to the kid 30 minutes for your new wife to work and we got a pretty decent life now that's not that unusual commute crap in atlanta that's a short commute that's my that's my commute to the office every day and i'll tell you this she would have to be a very special human being

to be 10 minutes from our house have this new life and then suddenly have to commute an hour for what will the quiet voice in her mind will be for somebody else's kids that's going to be tough long term so keep that what dave said it's really important to sustainability sustainability yeah the relational sustainability the physical sustainability that commute is just overwhelming so yeah i'm probably moving closer to them i don't know exactly what that looks like in your situation but we're moving that direction uh to where we can do this and here's the thing too um i don't know how i didn't ask how all these kids are but i'll bet you in 10 years most of this problem's gone

right that's when when parents get divorced and they are asking questions about their kids i always tell them you just switched from an annual game to a decade game you're playing a long connection you want your kids to be able to look back and say that guy my dad never stopped pursuing me my mom never i don't care what the court said i don't care we have a crazy parent i've got a box full of letters under my bed that my dad wrote me every single week yeah my dad always he sold his house and moved out you're playing long playing long game yeah it's all long game it's a 10 it's a 10 year 10 year and also i mean you know like stuff like child support and stuff like you know your need to be physically present in their life on a quasi-daily basis. As much as you can, yeah.

When they're 18, you don't even have that option because they leave. They're gone. So most of the time, or they should. There's that. So, yeah, you know you've got to do that. And you're not being cold and detached. You're just trying to be wise. There's so many things pulling at you, Jeff.

I mean, you've got a new wife that you want to honor and serve. You've got this. The next wife that bailed on the agreement y'all made. Yeah, and the court that went along with it. And you need to try to do your job and eat. The new wife's got to do her job. I mean, there's so many things pulling at you here. And not a single part of your question was selfish.

Nope. Good guy. It was all duty and service, which means you're a great guy. Yeah, so you're right on track and you're not being cold or calculated. It's not an interest rate thing. Do make the move. It'll be worth it. You'll probably make it up in gas savings. This is The Ramsey Show.

Hey, it's Dr. John Deloney. If you love the show and want a deeper dive on your money journey, we have a weekly newsletter that gives you trending and helpful articles and tips on following the Ramsey way. Just go to ramseysolutions.com today to sign up for our newsletter. Again, that's ramseysolutions.com to sign up for our weekly newsletter.