The Ramsey Show - App - I’m Being Sued by a Credit Card Company (Hour 1)

Episode Date: January 3, 2024

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's The Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. He's host of the Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. He's host of the Dr. John Deloney podcast, which is ever so popular, and his brand new book just hit number one last couple months ago here, Building a Non-Anxious Life, number one bestseller again, twice over. So we're answering your questions today about your life, your money, your relationships. The phone number is 888-825-5225.

Alicia is with us to start this hour in Lansing, Michigan. Hi, Alicia. How are you? Hi, Dave. First, I wanted to start with the fact that you're one of my heroes, so this is one of the coolest moments right now for me to be able to talk to you, and so I appreciate you taking my call.'m honored how can we help um so a credit card is suing me um paying some of my stupid tax apparently um so it popped up out of nowhere it's um and i

i already answered the summons and i'm trying to figure out where to go from here. Okay. How much do you owe them? $8,100. Wow. Okay. Is that the actual balance or the puffed-up balance after they added a bunch of fees to it? The puffed-up balance.

What was the actual balance? I believe it was $7400, 7,500. So a little bit of background on this. The reason I don't know the exact numbers is it was actually my abusive ex that opened up the card in my name. And I never used the card myself. And I had to run away from that relationship with my kids and i forgot about the card and i'm sorry you knew about the card but you didn't sign for it correct okay how long ago was that um 2019 okay how old are you um i am 29. What do you make? So I run an in-home hair salon, and I make about $1,300 a month, plus I have child support.

Of how much? $1,500. And that's from the abusive ex? No, that is from my ex-husband. Not the abusive ex? Debatable, but that's not the ex-husband. It's not the one you ran from that opened the credit card? Correct.

Okay, that's what I'm trying to get straight. You have any money? So I have about $1,500 in savings currently. who's suing you what company is this what what credit card company jp morgan chase yeah okay all right and you have an actual summons to go to court an actual the sheriff brought it to your door correct well i was um served by a person not a sheriff yeah okay but you got an actual court summons okay yes and i answered the summons and then we i got a paper in the mail of the hearing okay when's the hearing um january 10th okay all right this um let me let's kind of walk through a couple things here, because information in these situations, I've found when it's me,

if I get more information, some of the cobwebs move away and some of the fear moves away. Okay. So to start with, your absolute worst-case scenario is you do nothing or go over to the hearing if you want to. You're going to lose at the hearing okay there's no no defense for this other than one idea i've got in a minute but uh if you just went to the hearing and just sat there you're going to kind of giggle when you leave have you ever gotten a

ticket and they say go to traffic court to get the ticket torn up um i think so yeah yeah i mean it's kind of a funny thing it's almost like judge judy but without the personality okay you know it's like it's kind of automatic it's boring it's not there's no drama there's no tv cameras or lights this is not oj simpson on trial it's a traffic ticket for god's sakes okay so what happens is this attorney that's representing JP Morgan is he runs a factory a large factory you are one of 10,000 widgets on the conveyor belt this is boring it's not like he personally is angry with you or even knows you freaking exist. He wheels a two-wheeler into the court or the equivalent of that with a computer download of a bunch of files. No one shows up and the judge rules and gives every one of them a judgment instantly. It's really boring.

Okay. Because it's really an open-shut case. You owe money. You didn't pay it you lose okay now they have a judgment lien against you which means they could try to attach your property if you own any or your bank account or if you had a job they which you don't they a traditional job they could go after and garnish your wages okay so to start my point is don't panic about january 10th okay okay it's kind of a yawn now we do have to deal with this mess because it's going to keep poking you in in the side of the head until you deal with it all right now

how are we going to deal with it well we're going to deal with it one of two ways. One is, I don't know if it'll work because you've waited around too long to deal with it, but basically you are the victim of identity theft, even though your husband at the time, a husband does not have a right to sign his wife's signature by marriage. That doesn't give you that right okay i if i sign sharon's signature that's fraud right if i have a power of attorney from her to do that that's different but he didn't so this is just like a criminal on the street signed your name up and got an eight thousand dollar credit card you don't owe the money because you're a victim of identity theft. Now,

I don't know if you're going to pull that off because you waited around. If you had reported it after you left the abusive situation and gone ahead and gotten a police report at the time, it might have worked. Right. So here's what I would do. I'd call the attorney on the summons and say, I'm in the process of filing a police report. I was in an abusive relationship, and I've just discovered that I am the victim of identity theft. I did not sign this card, and I am not liable for it. I'm putting you on notice of that. I'll be in touch with you and send you the police report, because you'll have to file a police report and sign an affidavit that says you did not sign for the card a criminal did someone stole your identity oh by the way his name is and his

address is and they will do nothing about it so never fear okay but that's that's what happened okay it's as if a stranger signs your name to a card you follow me yes since you did not sign it now the fact that you've tinkered around with it for three years and not done this earlier is going to work against you in proving the fact that you're a victim of identity theft but hopefully you can get it pushed through all right if that's the case you owe nothing technically legally morally you owe nothing practically i don't know if you're going to get through that or not. The second thing is if you can't get through that, offer them $2,000 to settle it, settle in full.

But that's after you fight with them for a while. Hold on. I'm going to have Austin pick up. We're going to put you in touch with the Zander Insurance Identity Theft people and see if they'll take your case and help you run this down and get this uh identity theft removed as a favor to us obviously if you were one of their clients they would take care of you but we're going to ask them to do it for us hold on dr john deloney joins me this hour he's my-host, although I didn't let him say a word last segment. It's probably better for America, Dave.

Hey, I did have a question. Can I ask you a question about that last call? Yeah, let's talk about that. So I've had this back in my credit card not paying my bills days, and I get this call a lot on the show. Walk somebody through the difference between the letter you get when the credit card company sends you a letter. It looks like it's from a law office and says you're being sued versus

actually being sued. One of those feels like a scam, like a strong arm technique. The other is an actual legal proceeding. Yeah. And even the actual legal proceeding is a walk through is pretty much like traffic. It's a traffic. It's a a bit of a joke so it's not like matlock or perry mason is going to be down there and there's going to be some intimidating person on the stand and there's going to be a secret witness none of that happens okay i was gonna say i did i did go to rural tennessee to take care of a traffic ticket and it was pretty exciting was it it was it was pretty exciting that's a little different yeah that judge is a little bored and he's it was exciting he saw a guy roll up with a phd or two no i just i sat back in the back and there was there was i i learned a lot about the community i was where i got the ticket okay more than you

want to do it's very different than whose cousin was dating whose cousin it was it was incredible. Incredible. Oh, it's fun. So the collections industry functions on one thing. The only effective tool they have is fear. Their job is to activate fear. And anything they can do in the whole process to activate fear, it is the best chance they have of getting the bill paid. It's not loving kindness. It's not working through the logic of your budget it's not hearing the story about your mom who has cancer they don't care it's all about fear and so cutting you off in mid-sentence uh one company One company even uses people from a different region to call. For instance, they might have northerners with a New York accent call southerners

because it's abrasive to a southerner or vice versa because it's abrasive. And so they'll do anything they can. They'll pull up a zip code on it and, you know, pull a different person in. They even give them names i had one calling me calling me her name was mrs baskerville as in the hounds of another one called me her name was mrs savage oh well done so um and i told her i said that's the greatest name ever she's like that's my real name and i said no it's not but that's great i gotta hand it to you because once i kind of got out behind the scenes and started studying the collections business i understood what they were doing it is a massive game they're in a it's a person that can't get a good job sitting in a cubicle with a headset all

day long yelling at people screaming at them trying to get them to do stuff so they threatened to file suit they say we're about to file suit tomorrow we have filed suit they send emails that say that all of that is a lie that's why i was asking her so many questions i wanted to see if she'd actually gotten served and actually had a date at a hearing which she did she has been sued okay but nine out of ten times people call this show they've not been sued they've been promised they've been sued they told they were getting sued i'm su suing you today. All of that, no lawsuit, none whatsoever, because a lot of that debt isn't even collectible. It's outside the statute of limitations or some other reason they can't get at the debt.

So they're just yelling, screaming, making a big, loud noise to try to get the little child inside of us to be fearful and send them a check. Even people will pay bills they don't owe sometimes like they'll call a mother an elderly mother of someone and intimidate her yell at her that her son's going to jail if she doesn't pay his bill and she'll pay the bill i've had them i've had them call it is a nasty business that is outside of the law at most of the time federal fair debt collection practices act prohibits almost all of the activities they do on a daily basis it is an out of control nasty industry there is a small percentage of the collections business that is

a local hometown collection agency that's collecting for the local hometown pest control or doctor and they are usually pretty good people but they're like two percent of the people in the business the rest of them are just scum all right so their job is to yell and scream at you flap their arms and act like that the you know we're coming to take you away haha you know and all this and so that's what you've got to do is get the other side of the fear and just go really this is i'm one case in 10 000 this guy's dealing at this that day there's probably five to ten thousand cases going through there there's also as you're talking i keep also having this nagging other side which is

pay your freaking bill well this money doesn't go away right yeah i got a single mom there that's been abused that's right oh yeah she's making. Oh, yeah. She's making $1,300 a month. Yeah. Okay. So, yeah. If she told me she had $8,000 in the bank, I would have jumped on it. Or in her situation. She didn't even owe it because it was identity theft. And that's scary.

And I know there's a whole piece to that. Here's the problem with her situation. And it comes up, too. It goes under that same heading, though, though is folks when you have something like that in the closet a hundred percent of the time it's going to come out of the closet and visit you at the exact wrong moment right five years from now two years from now just after you got married to that sweet little thing and you're getting ready to buy a house oh crap back when i was in college drunk all the time i never dealt with this car wreck and i still owe fourteen hundred dollars to freaking state farm and they finally find me now that i'm acting like a legitimate citizen a hundred percent of the time you don't deal with this crap it has a high rate of resurrection it

will come back to life in the zombie form and at the worst possible time, and it's harder to deal with then. So when you have a problem, deal with it right then. Right. Because it's a lot harder for her to clear this up four years later. Right. If she dealt with it after she moves out from an abusive criminal theft, identity theft boy, if she had turned turned him in instantly filed a police report then

and been very proactive but that's hard to do for someone it's super hard in an abusive situation i get that yeah she's not feeling really confident and cocky right she's not or still scared all that's real all that's real but still if you can find any kind of something down inside of you to bust into it and deal with it at the moment right then but when you wait two years it's hard for the judge to look at you and have sympathy or when you wait three years here's the hard truth you will have the conversation about hey he stole my card you can do it now or you can have it later or you can do it four years from now and then not be believed you can pay a bill you don't know right because you're still living because you're still sitting in fear absolutely still sitting in brokenness from

that abuse right and so our job is to give you courage due to knowledge and due to inspiration to go ahead and deal with everything right now and we're only telling you if you're finding yourself if you're you've exited an abusive relationship if you're over your head and you just haven't been able to pay we're telling you this because we love you it's gonna come if even if you have to find a buddy that will sit with you and make that call with you or will help you do whatever you got to do because you're gonna have those hard conversations the earlier you have them the better runway you have to deal with it yeah it's it is so much easier to clean up before it grows right but it gets tentacles it grows it grows all inside the closet and you have to deal with it yeah it's it is so much easier to clean up before it grows right but it gets tentacles it grows it grows all inside the closet and you have to put yourself

in the eye that i mean in the in the seat of that judge how many people of those 10 000 people say i didn't that wasn't me 999 i mean 9999 of them right and you know i gotta tell you her going and filing a police report on an ex-boyfriend that was our ex-husband that was abusive that's an act of courage on her part that is she's poking the beehive that is super super scary yeah so she's either gonna do that or she's gonna pay the bill you pay eight thousand dollars yeah and does that suck all the way around absolutely everything there sucks the whole thing does yeah so but the deal is don't let these people intimidate you they're an idiot in a cubicle 500 miles away that couldn't get a good job okay cleaning septic tanks is much more honorable at least you're doing humanity some good hey those guys that clean my septic tank and you don't and you don't have to lie to do your job

okay and so the don't let these people set the tone you set the tone just. Just laugh about it and go, oh, you're cute. You're just so cute. And listen, if you don't calm down a little bit, I'm going to just let you talk to Mr. Dial Tone. You're going to hear a little click, and this whole thing is going to go away. A little click. You ready? A little click.

Here we go. Okay. I just started messing with them, man. I reached the point that I'd studied them so much that it was like a fun game. It's like the guy calls up to sell you the... Andy Andrews did this the other day. A guy called him up to sell him one of the auto... What do you call the...

Extended warranties on a car he didn't own, right? And he acted like he was 85 years old. Yeah, I got me one. I don't even have that car, but you sound like a nice young man. Could I sign up for this anyway? You know, he messes with them. He just had a good time.

It's a great YouTube video. You ought to pull it up. But, yeah, you got to do it. You got to have a way of looking at it that's where they don't own you emotionally. It's your only shot at getting your arms around this and winning. And that's what we're here to do is to help you do that, not to not pay your bill. The idea is if you owe the bill, we're going to help you pay it too. But we also don't want them to be in control of your life.

Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Rayanna is in Lynchburg, Virginia. Hi, Rayanna. Welcome to the show. How can we help? Hello. Hi, Rayanna. Welcome to the show. How can we help? So, my husband and I, we've been saving up money for about a year and a half now, looking to build or buy a home. And we're trying to decide if that is the right thing to do,

because I still have student loan payment. Or not payment, but student loan debt. How much student loan debt do you have? About $40,000. And how much money have you saved? So far, we've saved about a little over $15,000. Okay, and what's your household income? Together, we make about $86,000.

Good, good. What do you all do for a living? So I'm a high school teacher, and my husband is an admissions counselor at a local university. Great. Very cool. Okay. All right.

Well, you're apparently fairly new to all this Ramsey stuff. Is that true? Yes. Okay. All right. Well, what we have discovered in 30 years of helping people become wealthy is the shortest distance between where you are and wealthy, which home ownership is a good step in the direction of becoming wealthy,

the shortest distance is to be debt-free, have an emergency fund of three to six months of expenses, buy a home, then start getting your retirement plans going, and then get the home paid off. And that's like a five or a 10-year plan I just laid out right there, okay? What we have found is that when people buy a home with forty thousand dollars in student loan debt that it activates every negative thing that can happen in your life because sally may is living in the spare bedroom student loan has its own bedroom and the heat and air unit goes out the roof leaks and the hot water heater goes out, and you have no money. So what we've taught people to do, and it's very unpopular with people who have house

fever, because buying a house is a good thing, but buying a house when you're a broke person is not a good thing. That's why they call them brokers. So you need to get a house, but you need to get one after you get rid of your student loan debt is what we would tell you. And that's so that the house is a blessing to you and not a curse. Not what you wanted to hear. I do agree with that, and that's ideally what we would like to do.

However, I think our situation is kind of what makes that a challenge. We live in a one-bedroom apartment with one son. We want to start growing our family soon, and the apartment that we live in has – People have families that rent all the time. Move. Yeah. Hey, Rayanna, I did what you, what you're talking about.

My wife was a teacher and she had about $20,000 in student loan debt. And lucky for her, she was married to an associate Dean of students at a local university who had about $88,000 for the student loan debt. So combined we had six figures and I had to have a house because we were having a new baby and i went stone mad because the math never worked and we ended up selling our house and i moved into a residence hall with a two-year-old and a wife to get out of debt to get out of debt and And so with all of my heart, please rent.

Please don't add this additional strain to a young family trying to start new careers, especially as one as chaotic as the world your husband's in. College admissions right now, my gosh. Start tutoring. Start doing side work. And rent as cheap as you can and get the $40,000 paid off in one year. Live on beans and rice, rice and beans. Don't eat out.

Don't go on vacation. Get the stinking student loan debt out of your life and then save up and go buy you a house. I want you to get a house, but I don't want you to be cursed by the ownership of this house because you justified it in the name of a baby. Don't do that. If you don't want to live in a one-bedroom, fine. Go rent a two-bedroom. Whoop-dee-doop-dee. I mean, lots don't do that if you don't want to live in a one-bedroom fine go rent a two-bedroom

whoop-dee-doop-dee uh i mean lots of people do that i want to say it as directly as possible the math doesn't care what you want and we're in a one-bedroom apartment with a one with with a toddler i can't imagine how scary that is but dude um we want to start growing our family well you can't afford it yet or you can't afford a a house. You're going to have to start renting. You're going to have to make some hard choices. Pay that debt off, man. Yeah, just because I want a bigger house for my family doesn't mean math takes a break.

Right. Jen is in Des Moines, Iowa. Hi, Jen. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi. Hey, what's up? All right, so I've got a question for you. My husband works in the tech field currently,

and we have about $80,000 in stocks that are vested, and I was wondering if it would be a good idea to pull those out and to put that amount onto our mortgage to pay it off faster. Yes. Today. That was easy. Hooray. That was easy.

You want to know how I did that so fast is i just reverse engineer everything they call it sunk cost analysis i say if uh what do you owe on your home today we owe 184 000 okay if you owed a hundred thousand dollars on your home today and didn't own stock would you go refinance your home and borrow an extra 80 000 to buy stock no no well it's the same thing we're just doing it backward okay yeah that's that's incredibly easier than i thought it was yeah that's that's how i did that so quickly but and that's why i wanted to teach it to you too so you can do that with anything if you have a boat in the driveway that's worth eight thousand dollars

you say if i had eight thousand dollars in the kitchen table and i didn't have that boat would i go buy it no well then sell the boat okay you know or yes i love the boat then keep the boat that's okay but that you just do a reverse analysis of where you are today and pretend there's that many benjamins sitting in the middle of your kitchen table and go would i buy stock or would i pay off my well i'd pay down the mortgage where that gets dicey is when my wife looks at me sitting at the kitchen table and she says would i do that again no then i'm kind of stuck man hey i will say this when you when you start cashing out stock at your company his co-workers will look at him weird or the people ask him hard questions they just don't get a vote i'm not even telling it's another business it falls under the nunya yeah but it's a nunya

you know i don't have to talk about it this is like you know in the old days people didn't talk about their money yeah they do now i know they talk about everything now i know i mean a certain generation grew up there they didn't think their parents had sex or money. Turns out they had both. Had both. Because they never talked about it, right? Just little bits of each, Dave. Just little bits, the bare minimum. The bare minimum. Steven's in Dallas, Texas. Hey, Steven, how are you?

Hi, I'm doing really good, thank you. Good, how can we help? So I'm just trying to perplex on how i'm going to pay for a doctorate loan my girlfriend who i'm engaging in the next month is um going through doctorate of chiropractic school here in august and uh i just need to know the best way to kind of save up slash you know how should i how much debt is she going into to be a chiropractor? About $200,000. Holy Jesus. Just don't.

She's already done it? No, she leaves for school in August. As a guy who worked in higher education for 20 years, please don't do that. And I know you don't get it. We're not going to talk you out of this. Yeah. But, dude, the ROI on this, the average chiropractor makes $60,000. Okay.

I mean, it doesn't make any sense. What should we do in that sense? It's not worth $200,000. Y'all need to do some research into chiropractic and actually understand what's going on out there. I've worked with broke chiropractors for years. They're everywhere. Man.

I would tell you as her boyfriend, I would not start coming up with a plan to pay off her student loans yet. Unfortunately, I know in your situation, everything's going to be perfect, but we wouldn't have a show if people didn't have great plans that didn't work out. Our whole show is made up of people who got engaged and then started taking care of something for their new husband or wife, and then it goes sideways. And so I would hold off on making up a plan to pay off her student loans until you are married. Well, and I also would like to start having some real serious discussions if you're getting engaged as to whether she's going to go $200,000 in debt to be a chiropractor. Yeah. I've got to tell you, I strongly recommend you don't do that.

If you want to go into chiropractic, fine. But don't go $200,000 in debt to do it. There is no math that says that's smart. None. Nowhere. I mean, you can get an MD for $200,000, for God's sakes. You can actually ROI that. This is The Ramsey Show.

Our question of the day is brought to you by Neighborly, your hub for home services. The holidays are over, but your house may not look like it. How'd you know? So, you need Junk King for that that dying tree toys that have broken already and the boxes they came in go to neighborly.com slash ramsey and contact a junk king near you to get that post holiday stuff i am calling ramsey right now because my wife's birthday is coming up and i said what do you want she said i want one of those bins to show up in the back of our house to get rid of this old crummy boat you bought off craigslist and so i'm calling them today today's question comes from taylor in

indiana taylor writes this is a question for dave and deloney i recently paid off a hundred thousand bucks in student loans during the last three years way to go i'm proud of myself for the personal discipline and fulfillment for my financial commitments towards repaying the loans. Good. I used my education to have a successful professional career and want to encourage others that the same is possible and worth it for them. I feel a great sense of relief, but I'm afraid to tell my family. My mother feels entitled to be, quote unquote, paid back for being a parent and has actually stolen thousands of dollars from me in the past. I genuinely feel sad that I'll never hear that she's proud of me and wishes the best for my future without her handout expectantly. Is it wrong for me to lie about my accomplishments

and pretend to be broke in order to financially and emotionally protect myself? Also, would you mind sharing what you might say as a parent since I'll never hear it from my own. Wow. I'm going to answer this in a couple of different ways, Dave. Hop in. I don't think lying is ever a good idea. I also think there's a middle ground between entering into conversations, parading around. Here's the deal. I don't want you to bring down your sense of dignity and your sense of character and your sense of respectability by choosing to lie.

Take the low road. At the same time, no. This mother who's stolen from you, who is actively looking to steal from you again, who expects to be refunded for her parenting um she has no claim on your life right none none and so um i don't think you talk about it how's work works good um where why are you driving that car well that's that's because i wanted to that's the car i was able to buy well Well, where's my car? Well, I paid for that one in cash.

So that was my car budget. And where's my car? I don't know. When you go get one. Yeah, when you get one. When you start developing boundaries, what you're going to find is it's like a muscle and you get real strong real fast.

Exactly. And when you tell somebody no and they start to hem and hawn and jawn and you get rid of, you stand tall through that first initial wave, that assault that comes up against your gates, then you realize, oh, I stood. And it's just going to be that way.

So here's the deal. As long as you have to hide from her, she still has power over you. It's not, she no longer should have power over you. Yeah. And so it's just, because all you have to over you yeah and so it's just because all you have to do just say no just you know mom i love you i'm not gonna do that if you're gonna keep talking like that we're gonna opt out of this conversation and i'm gonna have to walk away i'm walking away now it's all you can do you just have to set a boundary. But you don't have to lie, and you don't have to let her have power over you.

But it's also smart and wise on your part, which you have done, to recognize this is not a person who is going to celebrate with you your incredible accomplishment for which any parent should be very proud, but your mom's messed up. I'm sorry. It's sad when your mom's messed up. But sometimes moms are messed up. And so yours is, definitely. I almost 99% of the time, and I'll tell you this, Taylor, I would sit down and write my mom three different letters that I'm never going to send her.

I'd write her a letter, and this one's going to be be hard to tell her how grateful you are for what she gave you. And she may have given you some really thick skin. She may have given you a bunch of hurdles that you had to figure out a way over, but there is some good that is in your life because of this interaction, this relationship. I want you to write a second letter that says, it starts with dear mom, you should have done a better job. You should have loved me. And I want you to write a second letter that starts with, Dear Mom, you should have done a better job. You should have loved me. And I want you to mine your soul for that stuff. It's heavy and it's hard.

The third letter should be one of freedom and relief and a little bit of grief is, here's who you're going to miss. Here's what you're going to miss. And you begin to teach your body that it wasn't okay, that like Dave just said, she had power over me, and I'm letting that power go. Here's what you're going to miss. And I'm not going to diminish myself, and I'm not going to be a person of lesser character to try to avoid you anymore.

As Dave said, you don't get a vote anymore. Yeah. You opted out. And so I just really, the point is I wouldn't lie, but I wouldn't expect a celebration. I just wouldn't bring it up. It's just something you get to do for yourself. And, you know, one of the things I did, Taylor, also, is years ago,

gosh, it's 20-plus years ago now, and I attribute it as one of about five things that caused uh this organization to be inordinately successful was i got uh the first group i called them a group of eagles because eagles don't flock you have to pull them together and i got a group of men that were strong spiritually strong in their marriages they were successful very successful in business or in their marriages. They were successful, very successful in business or in their chosen career. Two of them were pastors of huge churches. One of them was a multi-time best-selling author and so on in the room. And we met every Wednesday morning for a Bible studies, what we first started calling it. Then we started just reading books and that went on for 14 years.

And I'm telling you all that to say one of the rules in that room was that's a group of guys that were high achievers and we wanted to be a safe place to brag you got to be able to tell the good stuff because there's not everybody you can't brag in front of that's right because it's bragging but you need to be able to come in and go just freaking won the super bowl by god yes you know and you got to have somebody that loves you enough in the room that's going to own that with you that you respect their opinion that you can share that with especially since your mom's not one of them they didn't they don't feel threatened by it yeah they're not threatened they're there to celebrate with you and that's one of our rules and it's it we want you to we want you to come in here and brag when something really good is going on or when you do

something really good for your spouse once you come here and brag about it and that really lasted and i've got another group of guys i run with today and that's one of the rules in that group too and so when something good happens or something super bad happens you can bring it in too but um yeah taylor you need to have some guys around that can celebrate with you because your mom's not ever going to be able to do that. She doesn't have the capacity. She's too broken. And she should have.

But she doesn't. You should have a mom that celebrates you, and you don't. I'm sorry. Everybody should. And, dude, by the way, our lady, I don't know what kind of Taylor it is, man, woman. It could be either one. Taylor, you paid off a hundred thousand dollars you have a successful professional career we're proud of you

we think you're amazing big time way to go big time way to go do the snoopy dance man nose up ears out dance here we go have it baby enjoy the ride do it and don't let her steal that and you don't have to go into someone's presence and cow meaning they have power over you and you have to bow down by lying or by enabling or participating in their dysfunction you just have to smile and kind of shake your head and go gosh that's awful sad it's awful sad that's just really sad mama can't do that that's sad no not doing that sorry sad i um david took me a long time let's go this is the reason we're going on with this is because it's almost everybody out there everybody i know um we have a generation i heard

this recently dave someone's saying i'm talking about kids and it was really a brilliant response it was uh an older psychologist who was pretty frustrated he said i don't want to hear it again that the kids of this generation have changed kids are kids it's the parents of these kids that have changed you know i was at a i was at a fca banquet with bobby bowden one time years ago and i asked him i said so how much of the kids changed since you've been coaching you know 500 years since the 1960s he said the kids hadn't changed the parents are mom and dad that's right the kids are still doing the same exact stupid stuff the kids have always done. College football players are doing the exact same stupid stuff,

but the parents are nuttier than fruitcakes, man. That's right. Because used to, the parents are somewhat of an anchor, but they've lost their dadgum minds. That's right. Find somebody you can tell the positive stuff to, please. Yeah. Share it. Share it with them, and don't with her, but don't lie. She doesn't have power over you anymore. This is The Ramsey Show. you