The Ramsey Show - App - I'm Debt-Free but Feel Guilty Spending Cash (Hour 2)

Episode Date: June 3, 2021

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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's The Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, best-selling author, and host of The Dr. John Deloney Show, a very famous podcast and YouTube show

where you can join him there all the time author and host of the Dr. John Deloney Show, a very famous podcast and YouTube show where you can join him there all the time and answer questions about mental health, relationships, anxiety, all kinds of fun things. And the show is, well, it's moving and it's inspiring and it's entertaining. So be sure and check out the Dr. John Deloney Show. Next hour, I will be talking about America, continue talking about America's greatest legal fraud, timeshares. If you have a timeshare or you have been ripped off by a timeshare company or you want to talk about the scummy sales process that the timeshare companies use,

call in. Talk to Kelly or email us at daveAir at RamseySolutions.com, and you can be part of the show next hour. We want real people with real timeshare stories. I've certainly got my opinions, and they're right, but we would love to hear from you. If you want to know what it's like to work for Dave Ramsey, that was it. That was it right there. That solved it right there.

So, folks, if you're an employer, listen up. One of the things we've discovered here years ago, and we were one of the first to discover this, is the way that productivity with employees is affected by their personal life, and that includes their money. If your team member is struggling with money and they're getting calls from Discover Card and MasterCard, they are not thinking about work at work. In a manufacturing setting, that can even be dangerous. In the military, it can be dangerous because you need your eye on the ball there. Or if they're working for you and they are applying to every other job under the sun. Trying to get a raise.

In the mornings, at night. Money stresses everywhere. working for you and they are applying to every other job under the sun trying to get a raise mornings at night trying to yeah money stress is everywhere so we uh i think we invented the phrase we actually own it anyway uh financial wellness because there are all these wellness movements in corporate america and so we put financial wellness in there we own financial wellness.com money stress is everywhere and if you want proof we did a recent study with our research team that found half of all employers say financial stress has a significant impact on their employees but only 30 of companies have a financial wellness program well that seems counterproductive yeah so if your employee stress is hurting your company because it's hurting their lives, you can help them and help your company. And that would be like something that would be smart to do.

You get a return on investment there. Don't ignore the problem. This research paper is pretty incredible that we did on the details of this. And I know running a business has been tough. And I know the last year you're thinking about a lot of stuff. Financial wellness may not have been on the list of things you're trying to make payroll friday that kind of stuff right uh but you got a shot to help your team here and i think the shot is we hear this all the time it's bigger than teaching them money principles it teaches them intentionality

principles it teaches them hey here's how to get your life in order and man if you can get your employees to start thinking bigger about what they're doing and why they're doing it and how they're doing it and you start mapping out your day and your week and your month, you're going to see a more engaged employee, a more intentional human being coming to work every day. Yeah. Right? And we teach this stuff and we want to make sure our team

was not Ramsey-ish. Yeah. So we actually initiated some of our leadership team got really fired up about it this year and initiated a whole program internally here called Walk the Talk. If you're going to say this is what we do, maybe you ought to be doing it. That's exactly right. Don't be a hypocrite. And so we've got T-shirts and banners and everything all over the building, Walk the Talk, Walk the Talk.

We have Financial Peace University down here in our main lobby in the evenings. And, you know, 500, 600 people went through it of the 1,000 that most of them had already been through it before, but they're going through it again, and the amount of debt our team has paid off since the first of the year is pretty amazing. It's inspiring. So if you're in HR, you're a decision maker at your company, you want to hear about this stuff, about financial wellness, and you want to see what this study says, this free report, our 2021 Smart Dollar Financial Wellness Benefits

Study. It's real easy to do. There's a ton of information here. Text wellness to 33789, and you can get this free report. It is in-depth, our 2021 research paper, Smart Dollar Financial Wellness Benefits Study. Ton of great information. Text wellness to 33789. John is in Los Angeles.

Hi, John. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Thanks for taking my call. Sure, man. What's up? So I have an anxiety question. I'm happy that Dr. John's on the line as well. So I'm 28 years old.

My wife and I are on baby steps four, five, and six. And I grew up in a paycheck to paycheck household. And now I'm about two years out of law school. My wife and I have paid off all my law school loans together in about 13 months. Way to go man and so we're we're debt free now but now i have trouble spending money on anything and it's not like i'm scared of the future i trust that god will provide and i also are you on a speaker phone john can you hear me now, it's a little better.

Go ahead. Apologies about that. That's okay. Go ahead. I was saying I'm okay with saving a bit, and I'm not afraid of the future or anything like that, but I just feel real guilty spending money on anything. There's a lot of impoverishment and homelessness in Los Angeles where I live, and so I just feel a lot of anxiety and guilt about spending any money.

What do you do with the money that you don't spend? Save it. We give a lot. And that's it, really. I like spending money on my wife. I like buying her things. But she keeps trying to get me to buy something for me, and I can't seem to do it.

Who told you you weren't worth taking care of? No one, I don't think. Yeah, somebody did. Somebody told you that you come last, your oxygen mask goes on last, that it's all right to take care of everybody else, but the moment you start experiencing joy, man, you've done something wrong. You've stepped over into dangerous territory.

Who told you that? Probably someone at church. Okay. Yeah, they can be expert. What do you say, Dave, about guilt trips? Yeah, expert travel agent for guilt trips. Yeah, they can be travel agents for guilt trips there. That's right. Hey, listen.

Somebody lied to you, brother. I'm sorry. So, here's the thing. It shows a big heart of compassion that you notice the homeless around you. You also are able to do first grade math, and you know that you're not the Messiah, and you can't take care of them all.

Right. You can help with the homeless issue by making some donations to the local mission or other people that are doing good homeless programs. But even that is not going to fix the homeless problem because you didn't ever buy you a shirt. Does that make sense? Right. Right. Yeah. When I start doing stuff like this, my wife goes, hey, you ain't the Messiah. That's his job. The job's taken.

And it's good to have a big heart and be compassionate, but when it overwhelms you to the point that you are unable to do the normal rhythms of life because you see need out there, that's a Messiah complex. You're starting to think you're Jesus. That's not your job. That's his job. The job's taken. One of the questions I get all the time is, which life insurance company should I use for my term life policy? A valid question since there are hundreds of companies out there

with rates all over the place and riders and add-ons that are simply a waste of money. You need to get this done and make the right decision. That's why the only company I use and have recommended for over 20 years is Zander Insurance. Zander is a broker who shops the top term life companies for you and finds the best rates available from the only plans I recommend. They also save you time.

Whether you want to work online, over the phone, or via text, their team will cater to your needs and help you make the right decision. This is an absolute necessity, and Zander has made the process easy and convenient. Call them at 800-356-4282 or visit zander.com for instant online quotes. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. John is in Los Angeles. We ran him up into the commercial and crashed him. And he was talking about how to learn to enjoy money without feeling guilty now that he got out of debt.

Deloney, more comments on that? Yeah, here's what I want you to do, man. I want you to begin to consider yourself worthy of taking care of, too. Right, okay. Most of us have to, and it's going to sound counterintuitive because we think we just are born into the world knowing how to do this and we don't. But I want you to begin to practice. If you've got the money, I've paid it off, everything, you're in baby steps four, five, and six, you're a lawyer, you're doing okay, I want you to practice spending money on yourself.

What's an example of something you would buy that you would feel guilty about? Pretty much anything. Well, give me an example. Like going out to a nice dinner or something. Okay. So I think for a little while to learn to develop the muscle, John's suggesting you learn to develop this muscle. Put it as a line item in your budget.

John, that's the line item. And that money cannot be spent on anything that's in that line item. You can do an envelope. Put the cash in an envelope. Write John on it. It cannot be spent on anything except John. I had to do this, John, because my wife was doing the same thing. She's a classic Southern belle.

And, you know, well, we'll say we'll have plenty of money for the children's clothes, and I'll just wear the drapes like she's Scarlett O'Hara, right? Martyrdom, right? Martyrdom. And so I finally had to set it aside, a separate clothing online, Sharon's clothing, kids' clothing. You cannot spend Sharon's clothing money on anything except Sharon's clothing. Right. Then that takes all the guilt out of it.

So after years of practice? It's budgeted. Years of practice. Has she come around? She has no trouble now. She has no trouble whatsoever now. She's completely healed. She is healed.

She's healed. It's a miracle. She's a professional. All right. Allison is in Phoenix, Arizona. Hey, Allison, what's up? Well, I am debt free. Love love it how much have you paid off 120 000 in 46 months 46 months making what kind of money range during that time so i started my base salary with my full-time position, started with $57,000, and I am ending at $80,000.

But with my side hustles that I did multiples of, my one year was $106,000. Way to go. What kind of debt was the $120,000? So the vast majority was my student loan for my doctorate degree, which allowed me to then have a side hustle. That was a pretty significant add. What does your doctorate do? It's in education. Very good. Very good.

So what started the journey to get out of debt 46 months ago? Well, it was looking at myself that I should have, had I stayed in another position, I could have been retired by now. And I had a lot of challenges. I went for four years where I was unemployed and underemployed. And I went two full years unemployed and then two more years making $20,000 a year trying to make things work. And then lots of life in between. And I came back, found my passionate job here in Arizona and realized I could be retiring in 10 or 12 years,

and I don't have any money to do that. And I said, I need to retire with dignity because I'm not going to put my children through taking care of me as I took care of my parents. Hey, Allison, it's easy to focus on the money part, but I want to spend two seconds on being out of work for four years, making $20,000. That is a psychological beating. That's a spiritual beating. What brought you back to your feet and said, you know what, I'm going to take this one little step and another step and another step,

and you took off down a road of really trying to reconstruct and take an ownership of your future. What motivates you to do that? To side note, I asked for a call when you would be on, Dr. Delaney, because I love you. So I've been a single parent for nearly the entirety of my children's lives. And my parents were gambling addicts. And I grew up in a household.

I know this is like a long way to your answer, but I grew up in a household that didn't take care of money. And so I learned how to really be good at being in debt. And in 2006, I discovered a different person who said, debt proof your life. Don't debt free, but I didn't believe in Dave Ramsey until I lost my job and my house and my ability to take care of my family. And then my mother passed away and my father moved in with me and also I took care of him. And so it was it was hard. It was my... You found yourself out of options, huh? I didn't know what to do. I thought, I've gotten debt-proofed before.

I can do it again. So the first two years, I was kind of okay. And I was like, I've done this before. I can do it again. And the debt just kept growing and growing and growing because I didn't follow the baby step plan, right? I didn't have the rest of the plan. I got out of debt, but I didn't follow the whole plan. And then after two years, then depression set in and I didn't believe in myself.

And then I gave up. I was like, well, you know, hack, who cares? You know, I can't take it with me. My parents didn't take it with them. I can't take it with me. And, and so what does it matter anymore if I'm in debt? And then I came back to Arizona. I had moved away and came back and found my passion job. I love what I do, and I love where I work.

And I finally started healing my sense of self and my sense of self-worth. And that's when I was able to then turn around and say yeah that's foundational it's foundational to be able to get you here yeah yeah so proud of you you're way to go allison that's all of you very very well done thank you we've got a copy of the legacy journey for you that's the next chapter in your story for sure uh you have changed your life but now you're going to change your legacy. So continue with this. We're very, very proud of you.

You have really, you're a superhero. You persevered without a doubt. That's awesome. Absolutely amazing. Very well done. Also, a copy of the Total Money Makeover for you to give away and get somebody on their journey and teach them the baby steps that it took you a while to learn there. So proud of you, kiddo. Very well done.

All right. you a while to learn there so proud of you kiddo very well done all right it's allison in phoenix arizona 120 000 paid off in 46 months making 57 to 80 to 106 she's hustling and grinding count it down let's hear a debt-free scream three two one Three, two, one. I'm back free! Yeah! Woo! That's how it's done. You know, it is foundational to be able to do the baby steps to get to ground zero. Yeah.

And when you're struggling through so many holes, you're down in a hole, you've got to get up to ground level to start. And it feels like a war to get to zero. To get up to ground level. Yeah. To get past the addictive behavior in their home of origin, to get past the hopelessness, the worthlessness, to get up to there. And then all of a sudden, when you're standing on that base ground, even at zero, and you can see your way up, the light comes on.

It's like hope. Yeah. Yeah. Man, that's powerful. What a stud. Well done, kiddo. Well done. This is the Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today in the lobby of Ramsey Solutions on the debt-free stage.

Alan and Ashley are with us. Hey, guys, how are you? Good. How are you, Dave? Welcome. It's a pleasure to have you. Where do you guys live? Charlotte, North Carolina. Very good. And you're here to do a debt-free scream.

How much did you pay off? Oh, you're looking at weird people, Dave. You paid off your house? I paid off our house. Woo! Yeah! $393,000 total.3 000 total all right wow how long did this take you uh close to five years or four to five years good for you and your range of income

through that five years it's like 90 to 260 wow what do you guys do for a living uh we work in transportation i'm a freight broker dispatcher okay cool is that how y'all met no um believe it or not i was a salesman in new york we're from new york connecticut area and um she was one of my customers and i kept hitting on her and she wasn't interested and then i moved down to charlotte and eventually i reeled her in you know that's a good salesman well played charlotte charlotte was a good move yes good for you so what inspired you five years ago to get house and everything paid off well we just didn't want to be a part of the rat race anymore for me i would always complain to my friends and co-workers about hated work and like a day job and doing the nine to five and

just had to find a way to get out so we decided to just do nothing but work for four or five years, doing side hustles, full-time jobs, managing around the kids' schedule. Yeah, I'd work a full-time job Monday through Friday, and then once my son went to bed, I'd go out and I'd door dash or grub hub or whatever side hustle I had to do. Wow. And then on the weekends, I'd go during his nap time and bedtime and just whenever

we could to make the extra money. I mean there's no fun right now but we'll be there. Yeah, you can have any kind of fun you want now making a couple hundred and no payments, no house payment or anything. How's it feel to be completely free? Great. Great. It feels like a huge relief. Was it worth

all the sacrifice? Absolutely. We don't even know how to get out of it. We talk about that. Like we don't need to work all the time, but we're still working seven days a week around our kids' schedule. And it's like, how do you break that trend after doing it for so long? You feel unproductive when you're not working. So it's like if I'm on the couch for like an hour watching TV, I feel like I should be out working. She's the same way.

Interesting. Cool. Well, you need a hobby. Yeah, we do. There's these two magic words I want to teach you. You ready? I quit. You can use them on the way home to whoever they apply to.

Congratulations. Thank you very much, John. Very, very strong. Way to go, guys. So what do you tell people the key to getting out of debt is? You paid off $393,000. How's in everything? What do you say?

Dedication. Just stick with it. Keep going. And then at the end, it will be nice not to have to worry about, you know, when the utility bill comes in, am I going to pay it this week or am I going to wait until the next paycheck? Now it just comes in and you can just pay it right off. For me, it's just I want to make sure that the rest of my life, my son doesn't have to grow up the way that I grew up.

For me, I grew up poor in a very wealthy neighborhood in Connecticut, and everyone around me was rich, and I was far from that. So I just tell people to stick with it, and the grass is always greener on the other side. How old are your kids, man? I got a three-year-old. A three-year-old? Yeah, a three-year-old and a 15-year-old.

Wow, that's perfect. What's this house worth? Probably around, well, with this crazy white market we're in now, our realtor's telling us about $450. Yeah, I love it. Way to go. Thank you. Yeah.

So you've got to feel completely different. It does. It's just nice. Again, I always tell my boss all the time, like, this is the last day job I'm ever going to have. I like working here, so I choose to work here. But, like, I don't feel like I need to work 40, 50 hours a week anymore. It changes everything. Yeah.

Wow. So what actions are you going to take when you get home to plug into this three-year-old instead of more DoorDash? Well, we try to do family time on the weekends. She's always home to put him to bed and read him a bedtime story. But for the most part, we've got to spend more time together with him, which seems to be the problem. It's like one of us is always working all the time. So our schedules kind of build around him. But you're right, we do need to figure that out more.

That's exciting. Yeah, we both work from home, so that's a plus side. Oh, okay. So, I mean, he gets to stay home with us at all times, and he's never seen a daycare in his life. Yeah, that's wonderful. And you've got all these goals set. Yeah.

That's very powerful. Good. All right, well, let's get him in the shot. What is his name and age again? Austin, and he's three. life yeah that's wonderful and you got all these goals set yeah that's very powerful good all right well let's get him in the shot what is his name and age again austin and he's three austin three year old austin alan and ashley from charlotte north carolina they're weird people they paid off their house and everything in five years 393 000 paid off and of course we've got a copy of the Legacy Journey for you. You have changed your legacy. You've changed your family tree. I'm so proud of you all.

Thank you, Dave. Appreciate it. Very well done. Excellent, excellent work. Good job. And a copy of the Total Money Makeover for you to give away to someone as they head off in the right direction as well. So good stuff. All right, Alan, Ashley, and Austin, let's hear a debt-free scream.

Three, two, one. We're debt-free. Yeah. Look at the smile on his face. He loves the applause. Yes, he does. Well, that's what happens when your mom and dad are studs. That's amazing.

Wow. Very powerful stuff. See, if you make, I mean, let's just say they quit a whole bunch of their jobs and they only make $150. Yes. And you don't have a house payment. You become very wealthy real fast. If you just invest the house payment. Right.

If that's all you do, take your house payment, round it up, have it automatically drafted out of your checking account, that account alone will become a million dollars so fast. It will take care of you. It will blow your mind how quickly this thing turns in the other direction and the momentum that you've pushed for so long to try to get that rock up the hill, finally it goes over the top and it's rolling down the other side. Yeah, and then you get to find a new, and you spent four years cranking on that Y, and now you get to sit down and do what I think is a lot of fun, is dream and create a new one. Yeah. What's next, right?

It's that little three-year-old right there, right? Exactly. That 15-year-old at home, that's awesome. What's the next big push? Yeah. That's the thing. Very, very cool stuff. Well, one of the things that happens when you get all of your debts paid off

and you don't have any debt of any kind on your FICO, on your credit report at all, your FICO score becomes zero. Dave, doesn't that mean you're dead? No, it means you have a lot of money. I can buy anything I want to buy and I don't have a FICO score because I have money. And I have money because I don't have a FICO score. Because the only way you get a FICO score is go in debt, stay in debt, and pay it all the time. And the same is true when you teach your kids.

So they teach that three-year-old. It's teach your kids to be countercultural in a culture that worships at the altar of the great fico oh great fico you are our provider oh fico good old fico so we just dropped prices up to 80 on our best-selling kids products so you can have fun and education this summer for the kiddos the adventure pack is a family favorite that includes the new Storytime Collection, Financial Peace Junior, the Smart Saver Bank, and more to make learning about money actually fun. And the best part is you can add an extra kit for each sibling.

Or if you've got a teen that's wanting to earn some extra cash, the Teen Entrepreneur Toolbox is the perfect, safe, and flexible way for them to create their own summer jobs. They'll turn hobbies into real businesses, and they'll learn hard work, leadership, and responsibility. Teach them the right way to handle money while they're young. Save up to 80% off by shopping the Kids and Teens Sale at the online store at RamseySolutions.com. RamseySolutions.com. So you're teaching the kiddos in the Deloney household?

Yeah. In fact, I was just thinking last night. Actually, I thought, man, I can't get away from Dave. I was laying down reading my daughter a story to go to sleep. And I looked over and saw her Ramsey – it's like a piggy bank, but it's divided up into those three sections. So she gets a representation, a picture. Man, her and Hank are working hard this summer. And Hank's starting his Hank's Handyman service, taking care of some of our aging neighbors, their farms and places. And, man, watching them put it in the save and in the spin, watching him work hard and then buy a Lego set he wants.

It's just so great. That's powerful. Yeah. It's cool, man. Good stuff. That's how you change the family tree. This is The Ramsey Show. show. Dr. John Deloney Ramsey personality is my co-host today. Coming up at the top of the hour, we're going to do another hour on the timeshare industry,

America's largest legal fraud. If you want to comment on that, you want to be part of that hour, you can call in. The phone number is 888-825-5225, or you can email, and Kelly will get you set up, at DaveOnAir at RamseySolutions.com. We have room for you to tell your timeshare horror story. Or if you know someone that has one, get on the phone with them and tell them to get in touch with us right now, and they can be part of this. So in the lobby of Ramsey Solutions on the debt-free stage is Danielle from Colorado Springs with a question.

Hi, Danielle. How are you? Hi. I'm actually from Colorado Springs with a question. Hi, Danielle. How are you? Hi. I'm actually from Austin, Colorado, and I'm doing great. And thank you for letting me ask my question today. Sure. What's up? Well, my husband and I recently reached Baby Step 7, and we're both teachers.

Way to go. Yeah. We're struggling with our will because while we completed the journey very successfully, our children, we did not change the family tree. And so we're struggling with knowing how to put this all in our will while including what we've started as our legacy and how to talk to them about it without alienating them or without trying to change who they are.

So what does that mean, who they are? They didn't, we live the baby steps out loud it's in my classroom it's in the community i'm a financial peace university coordinator so it's no secret we even threw a party for my husband's truck when it turned 30 so it's no secret that we are living the steps out loud and they didn't choose to follow us because they were older when we got married and so um we're we're doing all sorts of crazy things that we're really excited about. We want to include it in our will, but we don't know what it looks like for people that don't understand where we're coming from. We don't want to feel like we're judging them because it's their life, their adults. But we wish that we had changed the family tree of our four children.

One of them is doing well. one of them is doing ish, and the other two is like, who's Dave Ramsey? That kind of thing. And we don't want to alienate them, and we don't want to judge them out loud. We wish that they would take the journey, but we're really passionate about, we have a memorial scholarship in my brother's name. It's really taken off. It's really doing great. We're going to put that, that's going to be in our will.

But we disagree on what to say, when to say it, and what we should do. So I'm going to let Dave talk through the will. I wanted to let you know that judging a family tree while you're still here is often too soon. And so right when you said that, I just wrote a note and I wrote yet, right? And what I'll tell you is kids often, especially when they get to see an example, not just hear words, they get to see it, they often loop back around, right?

And there will come a moment when they go, oh, I don't have anything. That's why mom and dad, and then they come crawling back and say, tell me about this Dave guy, right? So don't wear that baggage yet, okay? Dave, what do you think about this Will situation? So here's the thing.

Let's say that someone was working here on our team, and I'm giving them my money to do work. And they're not doing a good job. Not talking to them about that and calling that not being judgmental is inaccurate. It's also unkind. Because

I owe them the feedback to be able to change their lives to become a good team member. To become productive as a team member. That way they get to keep their job. Otherwise, I just walk in and they randomly get fired and they don't know what happened because I refused to judge them because all along I was judging them. You're supposed to judge people, by the way.

You're supposed to judge them. This idea that, oh, you can't judge people. Yeah, actually, you're supposed to and you need to. You don't have to be a jerk about it. You don't have to be judgmental, but it is unkind to share with those that you love the most a better way of life. It's unkind. To not share with them. Yeah, to not share with them. I mean, to hold back and go, well, that's just the way they're made. No, they're not made that way. I mean, you know, not saving money is not a character trait. It's a decision. Well, that's what makes it hard is because they don't understand or support the decisions that we've made, which is fine.

Yeah, they don't have to do that. But they do have to start behaving in such a way that they're going to receive my money, or they don't receive it. Okay. And it's unkind for you to have, because here's the thing. If they're misbehaving, and you give them money, you are now funding the misbehavior. That's the ultimate in enabling. Right.

And so an extreme example of that is they're doing heroin, but they hit the DNA lottery, so there happened to be my kid that's a heroin addict, but I can't judge them. Oh, yes, I can. You're a heroin addict. I just judged you. And I'm not giving you money upon my death to further damage your life with your misbehavior. You'll die of an overdose. That's an extreme example, but this is a minor example where a series of choices

going unaddressed by them or you, funded with a big pile of money, is going to magnify the negative. That's what I was worried about. Because what money does is it doesn't heal things. It magnifies the good things and the bad things. And we've all got some of both, by the way. You are spending a lot of energy judging you and your husband. What do you mean?

You have these values. And it's almost like you're ashamed of them. Yeah. No, I'm not. I'm very, I'm sad that they didn't. When you ask people what the hardest part of the journey is, I would clearly say that they didn't join us. Yeah.

So. Yet. Yet. Yeah. And so I think I would just sit down and say, listen, you're adults. I am not in a position to tell you what you have to do to live or how to live,

and I am not going to do that. But it would be unclear of me and unkind of me for you to not understand that as long as you're not handling money in a way that I view reasonable, I can't leave you money. So you won't be in the will. Right. And I don't want to get off the stage without saying that we love all of our kids equally.

I didn't. I know you didn't say that. I just don't want them to hear this and think, wow. We just wish better for them. Yeah. Think of it this way. If a truck was coming and they're in the middle of the road, you would shove them out of the way, right? We would.

And it would be unkind to say, well, I don't want to judge your behavior. Yeah, they're dancing. I don't want to get in the middle of that. They're dancing and doing tequila shots and dancing in the middle of the road. I mean, it's a problem. It's a problem. But, you know, I can't make you do anything, but I can not give you money for the tequila. I mean, I cannot fund the misbehavior.

And it's just a loving thing. You know, be very brief and very kind and very gentle, very low. And don't get into a bunch of your disappointment. I won't. It's just I need to give you the information that we're not going to be sharing wealth with people who don't share our value and can't handle it because I'm afraid it's going to bring you harm instead of a blessing.

And I love you too much to give you anything except a blessing. And so you have my spiritual blessing. You'll always have my love, but you won't have my money. It'll be left to something else, unless you guys want to learn how to do this stuff. And anytime you do, we're here to help, but we're not going to interfere in your lives, your adults. Right.

Does that sound balanced? It does. You've reached a point where you have to pick your heart. Do you want to live in distress of you're going to violate your own values by giving money to people that you don't think is going to be a good steward of it? Or are you going to live in distress? Are you going to have a hard season of here's our boundaries and we're going to hold firm to them?

You've got to pick your heart right now. It's not an emergency or anything. But our will is very detailed on this stuff and even further controlling than what we're discussing right now. Because we're Christians and we believe that it's not really our money, we're managing it, and I can't leave God's money to an unrighteous or an incompetent manager. And so if you're going to be doing a bunch of crazy stuff. Normal stuff.

Yeah, doing cocaine on the back of a yacht and thinking you're shooting a reality show because you're a trust fund baby, you're confused if you're a Ramsey because you're going to get zipped. I'm not funding that because of your lifestyle decisions and because I love you too much to fund your cocaine habit. And the important thing is that you told them that up front. Oh, yeah. They know.

It's all clear in the Ramsey House. It's a responsibility of management that you're losing, not hitting the lottery. That's the difference. It's a different viewpoint on it. Thank you so much. Thank you for sharing that. Very nice. John Goodhour.

Thank you. Well done. James Child. John, good hour. Thank you. Well done. James Childs, Kelly Daniels, up next, timeshare hour. Yeah, call in, people. Hey, it's Kelly, associate producer and phone screener for The Ramsey Show. If you would like to do your debt-free screen live on the show, make sure you visit theramzshow.com and register. We would love for you to come to Nashville and tell Dave your story.