The Ramsey Show - App - I'm Worried That My Fiancé is Lying About Making Payments (Hour 2)

Episode Date: March 13, 2020

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🎵 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions Broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Thank you for joining us, America. We're glad you're here. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Cecilia is with us in Boston.

Hi, Cecilia. How are you? Hi, Dave. Thank you so much for taking my call. Sure. How can I help? So my husband and I have around $250,000 worth of debt, most of it being student loans. I know, um, no mortgage because we don't have a house.

And, uh, we also have two lease vehicles. We just sold one. We have another one that is over around 2000 miles. So we've been trying to save up for a car in order to drive that and serve the leased car. And we have a family wedding that's coming up in August in another country. It's my husband's brother. And we've decided in order to help keep our gazong intensity up and not take too much of a hit to have my husband go and me stay. And the issue with that was that his family was not happy with the decision, and it was very upsetting, and we got called selfish, and it was tough emotionally to handle that. And we were just wondering, are we being too insensitive?

Should we both go? So we were kind of in a pickle with that. So is his family wealthy no so they're all broke but they're doing a destination wedding internationally well i don't know what his brother's situation is um and it's you know well i mean if you do a destination wedding and you invite all your family that's broke, it's kind of unfair. That's what I personally thought, right. Yeah.

So where's the wedding? Dominican Republic. Okay. That's not too bad. I mean, what will it cost you to get down there? So one plane ticket for their date is around almost $700 for a weekend. And what's your household income? We make around $60,000 a year combined.

Wow, and you have $200,000 in debt. I cry myself to sleep every night, yes. So how much of the $200,000 were these two cars? Well, I got rid of one of the cars. We got rid of one of the leases, so we don't have that $500 payment. That was the car payment. Was that part of the $200,000 in debt that you gave me? No. Oh, so it was in debt that you gave me? No.

Oh, so it was in addition to that. Okay. Right. And how much do you owe on the other car? The other car is a lease. So you don't have that in the $200,000 either? No. Okay.

And what is the $200,000? All student loans? So, yeah. So it's $100,000 his student loans, and it's $90,000, my student loans, and the rest are credit cards and bank loans. Okay, so what are your degrees in? My degree is in school counseling, so I took loans in my bachelor's and master's degree. And he started a nursing practitioner degree but didn't finish. So he took the loans for that. So now we have that loan or that debt without a degree.

Both of you work? Yes, we both work. And you only make $60,000 a year? Right. Okay. Wow. work and you only make sixty thousand dollars a year right okay wow so your master's degree and all of your work um was a really poor investment right based on the career field that you've chosen out of it anyway because i mean if we just take years alone you say a hundred thousand dollars in debt based on the career field that you've chosen out of it anyway. Because, I mean, if we just take yours alone, you say $100,000 in debt,

I mean, you're making, what, $30,000? No, I'm making, so I guess I meant after taxes. I'm making around, I'm making $50,000, but after taxes, I want to fix it. Yeah, you're making $50,000. What does he make? He just started working a new job. So right now, he makes around $50,000. He just started a teaching job.

But that wasn't, you know, that wasn't much. Okay, so that's like $100,000. $50,000 and $50,000 is like $100,000. Right. So you make $ hundred thousand dollars a year all right that's a little different um well i i um i mean seven hundred dollars one way or the other is not going to change your life to the positive or to the negative it's more the point of who runs your house your mother-in-law or you two. Right.

And that's what this comes down to. It's more of a boundaries issue. And, you know, I might be inclined to spend the $700,000, except that everybody wanted me to. And then that makes me not want to do it, because you're trying to tell me how to run my house, all of you. But, yeah, $700, if that's all it's going to cost you to get down there, that's really out of $100,000 of your income, and you've got a $200,000 mess,

the $700 is not the issue. I mean, you're going to find other stuff that happens that's going to be $700 one way or the other, and both of you need to get extra jobs, and, yeah, you've got to sell this other car. That's a lot more important than the 700 i think it's more of a boundary issue of you know you don't get to decide what i'm going to do that's not you know you don't live here and um and sometimes you do things not out of guilt tripping, but just because you want to be kind to someone. But as soon as they start guilt tripping me, I tend to go the other way. So I don't care if you go.

It doesn't matter to me. I think you've got a lot bigger fish to fry than that one. So I'm not sure this is a sword I want to fall on. If it was $7,000, yeah. I mean, you're trying to fly. If it was $7,000, yeah. I mean, you're trying to fly me to wherever for $7,000. That would be different. But $700 is, I mean, you can work extra for a month delivering pizzas and go, right, which you need to probably be doing anyway to earn some money.

So it's just, you know, there's so many big numbers here, and that is such a small number that it's more about the relationship issues, the boundary issues for me than, than, than the actual dollars in this case. And, um, so that, that's, you know, the way I'd look at it. It's, it's so presumptuous folks for you guys any of you to do a wedding and i've run into this bunch of times over the years and you know it's fine if you do a wedding out of the country and do a destination wedding or something that's fine or do a wedding in your city and your whole family lives in new

york and you want to get married in la because that's where you live um but you don't have the right then to be angry if they can't make it over there that's presumptuous um and that's out of line you know if you're all worried about everybody making it go where they are don't put it in the freaking dominican republic you know that's just presumptuous as crud it's just you're presuming upon my money. You're spending my money, and then you're pissed I won't. That's just weird. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. For over 20 years, I've recommended Zander Insurance and their term life programs. I'm still amazed at how many families have no life insurance or not enough and would be financially devastated

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Hi, Laura. How are you? Hi, Dave. I'm great. How are you? Better than I deserve. How can I help? So my husband is currently active duty in the Army. We just started on the baby steps. We have our $1,000 emergency fund, and we are working on paying down debt. Our concern is when should we buy a home? He's set to retire in seven years, and he'll be 40 at that point. My fear is waiting until he's 40 to take out a mortgage and being behind the curve on everything else. Our thought is maybe we should save up for a mortgage prior to retirement

and purchasing a home. But we're just so kind of stuck. We don't want to get too behind. But at the same time, we don't want saving for a mortgage to take away from saving for retirement or a bigger emergency fund or anything like that. Well, what I would do is let's work on through the baby steps. Get out of debt. Get your emergency fund in place.

And then start putting 15% of your income into retirement. And then then i would say above that i'm going to start saving towards the purchase of a home and um you know so you've got a you got six five five six years at that point to build a really strong down payment to get into a home and uh and maybe even depending on what your household income is maybe even save up an entire amount to pay cash for home during that time um and you'll be fine then um because what what you know you're not really losing ground because you're building that fund to be able to buy your home fund is what we're saying you're going to have this separate fund above your emergency or above your retirement savings to do that uh to buy a home with and And so you just start chunking money in there like you were paying off a house. And so anytime you find any extra money anywhere, a bonus or an inheritance

or the sale of an item or whatever, you just throw it. We'll put that in the home fund. We'll put that in the home fund. We'll put that in the home fund. And you may look up that you may very well look up, depending on household income, and go, wow, I'm going to have to pay cash here at the seven-year mark, and you're going to be fine. You know, it's not ideal to start this whole process at 50 years old, but people do, and they make it. And you're starting it at 40, so you're not going to really be off. You're going to be fine.

Hannah is with us in Charlotte, North Carolina. Hi, Hannah. How are you? Hello, Mr. Ramsey. How are you today? Better than I deserve. What's up in your world? Well, I have a few questions for you today.

I've been earning money with babysitting, and it's a good bit of money for a teenager my age, and I was calling to ask if there was any particular book that you would suggest how to manage it. Okay, very cool. How much have you saved? A few thousand dollars. Good for you. Way to go. How old are you?

14. Wow, look at you. Well done. You're sitting on a lot of kids. So what do you want to do with the money? Save it and buy a car with it. A car, okay. So you've got a couple years to save towards a car,

and you've already got a couple thousand in that direction. I think that's ideal. So this does not have to be some kind of super complicated, sophisticated thing. It could be as simple as you have a savings account at the bank, and you throw a chunk of the money that you earn in that account because you want to buy a car with it in two years, and you just keep throwing it in there and throwing it in there and throwing it in there, and you've got a goal of hitting a certain amount,

and you divide that into how long you've got. You've got 24 months to get there. And how much do you want to have in there? And you say, well, that's how many kids I need to sit. And you just work your way into it that way. I think you're fine. I don't know that you necessarily need to have some kind of sophisticated investment strategy at 14 with your babysitting money to buy a car with.

I think you're doing fabulous. I will send you a copy of our book for high school seniors, and I think you'll have no trouble grasping it because you're obviously ahead of your years. It's called The Graduate Survival Guide, and it's mistakes to not make in college. And so I think it'll give you some ideas as you're saving towards your car. But you're doing beautifully, beautifully. I'm sure your parents are very proud. They should be.

Chet is with us in Chicago, Illinois. Hi, Chet. How are you? Good. How are you doing today, Dave? Better than I deserve. What's up? I'm going to be debt-free next month except for our house.

Good. Because I'm getting a decent bonus check. And I contribute the max to my 401K right now. And I just wanted to know how much of that should be Roth versus traditional. Right now I do about $7,000 a year to the Roth and about $11,500 to the traditional side. 100% should be Roth. Okay. Because, yeah, and my employer matches

10%, which obviously goes traditional side as well. Yeah, and you can convert that to Roth if you pay the taxes on it once a year. Right. Oh, okay. I didn't realize that. Inside the 401 401 you can roll the uh contribution the employer contribution into your regular uh and pay taxes on it i know because i do that here with mine um then uh but here's the thing we want you putting 15 of your household income no more

than 15 of your household income into retirement uh than 15% of your household income, into retirement at baby step four after you're debt-free, except your house, and after you have an emergency fund of three to six months of expenses. So you've got some of this running out of order here. If you're going to be able to fix it out pretty quick, that's fine. But if it's going to take you 12 months to get that order straightened out, you need to stop your retirement savings temporarily until you get out of debt and have your emergency fund but if you can do that real quick by just continuing go ahead and do it but that's the

order we usually tell folks to attack this then i would you have children yeah two kids and we are saving money towards college as well okay you got you got that started. Yeah, so you got all these things going out of order then. Okay. And then anything else you find above 15%, no more than 15% going into retirement, above 15% goes to pay off the house early, and that's what we'll show you to do. The reason for the Roth 100% is real simple. 100% of what you have in your account is tax-free when you get to retirement and almost all of what is in your account when you get to retirement

traditional or Roth is growth 90 to 95 percent of what is in there is growth and either that is taxable or it's not taxable so first three million dollars in a traditional or in a Roth in a Roth the three million is tax-free if there's three million million in a traditional or in a Roth, in a Roth, the $3 million is tax-free. If there's $3 million and it's put in the same amount into a traditional, you end up with the same $3 million, and it's taxable. It's going to cost you a million bucks, taxes. That's why I say quickly and easily without even thinking about it, 100% Roth for the portion. And when you do start with the retirement, when you get to baby steps, I hope you get that straightened out pretty quick there. All right. Julie's with us in Greenville, South Carolina.

Hi, Julie. How are you? Hey, I'm good. Thank you. Good. How can I help? Well, my question is, we just started your class last night for the first time. And I've heard about the snowball effect, paying the debt off. My question is, my husband

is had cancer five times. And so we've gotten some money from the insurance company. And I want to know what to do with this money because we also have a credit card that's racking up like $100 a month interest. And then we have a ton of medical bills that, you know, some of them need to be paid and some can wait. And so I just want to know what to do. How's he doing? Right now he is cancer-free. Yay. And he finished up some radiation treatment a few months ago.

He's cancer-free. He goes back to have blood work done at the end of March. Wonderful. Such good news. Yes. Thank you. That's a beast you've been fighting there. Okay. Oh, gosh. Yeah. So you. That's a beast you've been fighting there. Oh, God. It's hard.

So just list your debts, smallest to largest, and get your budget going. If you're part of Financial Peace University, you've got every dollar. You should be using it for your budget connected to your bank. Lay that out. Make sure your bills are paid. Everybody gets minimum payments except the smallest debt. And if you've got a chunk of money, you work it down smallest to largest right down that list so you start clearing off all those little ankle bite or medical bills real fast and then you'll start pounding that credit card then that car loan that student loan whatever else is there list them smallest to largest i love talking about companies that know how to do business right.

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that gives the strength and support of a belt without even knowing you're wearing one. I'm really proud of these guys. Check out this month's special offers from my listeners at GRIP6.com. Well, this real estate market is white hot, isn't it? I mean, I think a monkey could sell a house right now. I'm not sure they can get it to closing, but I think they'd get you a contract. Ooh, ooh. I think it would work. And, you know, the real estate business is so funny.

Real estate agents come into the business like crazy when times are like this and they go out like crazy when times are bad you thought about selling your home you think you could win doing that yeah you could sell a home right now home values have increased nearly seven% nationally in the last year. Inventory is the shortest it's been since 1999. Biggest seller's market I've seen in I don't know when. So if you're thinking about selling a house, this is about as good a time to sell as ever. If you don't like your current home, you want to make a move,

da-da-da, you know, that kind of stuff. Now, you do not want to list your house with your Uncle Henry who just got his license, I mean, really. Well, I need to support Uncle Henry. Why? With your largest asset that you own on the planet, you're going to give it to a novice? Well, that makes you dumb. Don't do that. Our real estate endorsed local providers close three times the properties that the average agent closes,

and customers who use ELPs are 49% more likely to say they had a great home selling experience than ones who didn't use our ELPs. And not only that, our ELPs average getting up to 16% more for your home. These are high-octane fire breathers, baby. They get it done. So if you're thinking about selling a house, get a pro. Get somebody that does some volume on your team. Not somebody that got their license 20 minutes ago. I mean, really. Go to DaveRamsey.com slash elp for a high octane real estate agent click elp for real estate on the front page it'll get you there alex is with us in wilmington delaware hey alex how are you uh very good mr ramsey thank you for taking my call sure what's up uh i work as a career fireman and it's a job that I love.

I was injured on the job, and a couple surgeries later, and back in and out of full duty, I'm being retired on disability. I'm sorry. And thank you. So one of the options that they offer with the disability process is what's called a Social Security adjustment option. And so if you take that, they give you approximately $375 a month-ish until you turn age 62, or a little bit less if you wait until age 65, and then they reduce the benefit that you're receiving by what they calculate out for Social Security at that point versus not taking that adjustment

option. And then from there, you would just, you know, in addition to your disability pension, then you get Social Security on top of it. And so i've done the math it's about four years of difference i i'm thinking if i'm doing the math correctly um i got lost there so you said 375 that's not the total benefit no that's the uh so they they give you the the benefit and then they give you an additional 375 the difference is 375 if you agree to do social security offset when you turn 65 correct or 62 62 okay all right gotcha okay and so you're 58 uh no i'm 48 i'll be 48 this year okay so it's gonna it's gonna be uh a lot longer than four years difference i don't understand understand. Oh, so, well, I tried to do the math myself, right? So if I take the $375 minus, I think that's a taxable benefit, right?

That extra $375, and then, you know, the offset, you know, once I turn 62, and the payback or the break-even point, I I think is about four years, if I'm doing the math correctly, in terms of not taking the adjustment or taking the adjustment. Okay, so you're running your Social Security number at what? At 62, and I think the offset's about $1,500 a month. Okay, so you're saying the assumption you're using to do your calculation is that the drop is going to – you take $375 from 48 to 62, so 14 years, right?

Correct. And in return, you lose $1,500 for the rest of your life starting at 62. Right, but then you do apply for Social Security, and you do get that. Yeah, but you're going to get that either way. Correct. Okay. Yep. All right.

So $375,000 a month, $12,000 and $14,000. Oops. I've got to put it in here because I've got to look at it. I'm just curious. This is an interesting one. I haven't seen this before. All right. So that's $63,000 total that you would receive now, and $18,000. And so you said you got about a three-and-a-half-year break-even.

Is that what you figured out? About that, yeah. Yeah, that's about right. I got that, too. Not counting the present value of money. Okay. Now, there's a financial theory, not theory, but a financial formula that says, would you rather have $1,000 today or $10,000 25 years from now?

And the answer is you'd rather have $1,000 today because the present value of that $10,000 is less than $1,000 today, given that you take that $1,000 and invest it, it'll be more than $10,000. So if you take this $375,000 and invest it, it's a lot more than $63,000. To run the financial formula properly, that's what you do. Okay. And so if we took the $375,000 and invested it for 14 years, let's just do it. I've got just a second. This is interesting.

I'm going to put it in the calculator here, okay? All right. That's our payment. Okay. We're starting with nothing. I'm going to put it in the calculator here, okay? That's our payment. We're starting with nothing. I'm going to put it in the mutual fund. I'm going to do 14 years, and what's the future of it? Okay, try again. 375. So that's the problem with doing stuff on the air, right? Right, right. On the fly. And 14. Present value, all right. Yeah, 162,000 is what we're dealing with.

Okay, entered 1,500, divide. That's 108 months, so it's almost 10 years break-even when you do a present value calculation, assuming stock market rates of return of 12%, okay, which you can argue about that. It could be less. It could be more. I'm just running a formula. Okay. Okay. Okay. So would I do that 62 and 1072?

I have a tendency to do this. Even if the math comes up sort of on the bubble, I have a tendency to take my money as quick as I can get it. Okay. Because once it's in your hands hands it goes to your heirs as long as it's in this other stuff it dies with you right okay and so i you know like for instance social security i'll go and take it early and invest it right and that invested money this hundred and hundred and sixty three thousand dollars that the 375 becomes if we put it into a mutual fund every month, give or take,

it might be $150,000, it might be $200,000, but somewhere in that range, that goes to your heirs when you die. It isn't lost at your death. Right. This stream of income that we're comparing it against dies with you. Right. So if you're not going to buy a truck with the $375, if you're going to invest it, I'm going to go ahead and take it. Okay. But that's the way my brain works.

Do you understand what I was doing there? No, I do. I do. Okay. So I heard you on Focus on the Family about 20 years ago. Wow. It kind of solidified in my mind a lot of the things that I was thinking at the time, and I've been completely debt-free, including the house, for 10 years now.

Good for you. So you're in great shape financially. You're only 48, and this just keeps you from being a fireman. You're not disabled to the point you can't do anything. So you have an encore career. You may go make $100,000 a year doing something else. That's part of the problem. I don't know yet.

The second surgery for six levels of fusion is not going well. Oh, the back. It's the back. Ouch. Yeah, neck is, so it's maybe going back again for more surgery. Well, you may have that, but that doesn't mean you can't do anything. It just means you're not going to do anything physically. You're just going to use this good mind of yours for your own core career.

But right now, you're still facing back stuff hard. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm sorry you got injured on the job as a fireman. You're protecting everybody else, man. That's hero stuff right there. Hey, thanks for calling in. This is the Dave in North Carolina.

Hi, Shaday. How are you? I'm fine, Mr. Ramsey. How are you? Better than I deserve. Welcome to the show. How can I help? Sorry if I kind of sound a bit nervous.

No troubles. We're renting a house. We've been renting for the last two years. And the owner wants to sell the house soon. We're not sure exactly when. We're expecting maybe within a year or so. They're willing to work a deal with us where they're going to basically give us credit towards the house from what we've been paying in rent. Wow. And we don't know if it's something we should do. So it's going to be within the next, we told them we'll give them an answer within the next four to five months, which will be about $30,000 in credit.

And we're on baby step number two and we have about $3,000 left. We're going to finish half of that this month. So we have like one more month, one more month left in baby step number two, and we have about $3,000 left. We're going to finish half of that this month. So we have like one more month left in baby step number two. And then we were planning to build our emergency fund within that four to five months. Good. And we take home about, what, $3,600 a month or more. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Okay. And I'm expecting to, so we're not sure what to do oh congratulations okay so what is the house worth it's worth one six they bought it for 160 90 but they that's what they want to sell it for the market value is 159 155 the market value is 155 and they're going to give you a $30,000 credit? Yes, but they're going to give us the credit on what they paid for it for $160,900. Okay, $160,900? Yes, sir.

Okay, so $30,000 off of that is $130,000, and the house is worth $155. Yes, sir. And where did you get the information on what the house is worth? Like just Zillow and all those things. Okay, Zillow is not reliable enough for me to buy a house from, so I'm going to go get a good quality real estate agent to look at it and have them do a comparative market analysis for you. If it's truly worth $150,000.

We're speaking with one. I'm sorry? We're currently speaking with one. Okay, good, good. Well, so if you can buy a $155,000 house for $130,000, that's a good buy. You're out of debt. You got your emergency fund in place before you do the transaction. Then there's nothing wrong with that.

The only question remaining is, is this is the house you want? Yes. Okay. If you like the house and it's a good buy. We don't have the emergency fund yet. Okay. You're not going to close it and you're not going to buy it until you have your emergency fund and you're out of debt. We've already established that.

Okay. until you have your emergency fund and you're out of debt. We've already established that. But if you can buy a $155,000 house for $130,000 and you like the house, why would you not buy it? I don't know. Okay, then buy it. I mean, you're at the right place, and that's the right thing to do then. Heath is with us in Jacksonville, Florida. Hi, Heath.

How are you? Hey, Dave. I'm nervous. How are you? Hey, Dave. I'm nervous. How are you doing? No troubles. What's up? I'm kind of worried that my fiancee is lying about payments and this and that and the other thing. The problem that I'm running into is that she's, she's a financial manager, making about $70,000 a year, and I'm making $20,000. And we bought a car recently before I started getting serious into your book and um we've made three payments and all three payments there's been issues um

with because it was the understanding that she would make the payments her car that's not noticing i just had to like co-sign for um and makes more money than you and you had to co-sign for why did you have to co-sign for if she Wait a minute. Why did you have to co-sign for her if she makes three times what you make? Because she had a Chapter 7 bankruptcy three years ago. Mm-hmm. And it apparently dropped her credit down to... Nothing. Yeah. That's what a Chapter 7 does.

Yeah, exactly. Destroyed her credit. Okay. Right. She didn't have any credit. She got bad credit. Okay. So how expensive is this car? My credit's gone up to like $640.

Okay. How expensive was this car? $20. Okay. And when are you guys scheduled to be married? We want to get married in June. Okay. And so have you sat down and said said okay you you've had three payments

we're oh for three on the payments which means as a financial manager you're not very good at it and uh what's going on are you broke what because the money's in the bank she's made the payments i've seen the payments like for example this last payment um i visually saw it i've seen her physically make the payment three times and i saw it on the regional acceptance website um she made it like a week ago yesterday it wasn't on their website anymore i don't understand that doesn't make sense um yeah it doesn't make any sense unless she's making a payment i don't know if she's truly making the payment or if regional acceptance is being strange for some reason i don't know i don't either but i would want to get to the

bottom of this because let me just tell you dude when someone will lie about anything, they'll lie about anything. And so if she's lying about this, this is time to tap the brakes on getting married. Because somebody that'll lie about that will lie about anything. Right. And so integrity is a deal breaker in an engagement. So we need to get to the bottom. I didn't know how to get around, how to get about to find out. I think you just go, listen, I'm really, really, really, really not okay with the way this

is going right now, and we're going to have to get to the bottom of this. I've got to understand how in the world I can see a payment going in, and then it is turned around and removed. That does not make any sense sense and i'm not going to just accept that oh that's that they screwed it up i really have got to understand this you've got to show it to me i'm not okay with this situation this is a major problem in our relationship are you calling me a liar not yet but i've got to know that before I can move forward. I have talked to her about it, but I haven't asked for it.

I did ask for a bank statement, but she's got two different banks. So let me just tell you, listening to you talk, there's other stuff that's gone on where she's jacked around and not told the truth and told little white lies. And that's why you're fishing so deep in this pond. Am I missing something there? No. You got a problem, dude. You got a problem.

The two of you need to be sitting in front of a marriage counselor for pre-marriage counseling and get to the bottom of this. And you bought a car with this woman. Oh, my Lord. You got a problem yeah because you're you you know stuff you're not telling me right now that's what that's what's happening i can feel it so i'm not going to dig any further the same in my deal but um if you were my son i would tell you what i just told you and that's get in front of a good pastor get in front of a good marriage counselor and start doing some in-depth pre-marriage counseling and drag all of these issues out on the table.

And let's really, you know, the other times that she didn't tell the truth, the other times there was a, quote, white lie, unquote, these are deal breakers. This has to be solved because you're going to spend the rest of your life questioning everything the woman says if you don't trust her about anything. When she goes on vacation anything when she goes on vacation when she goes on a business trip when she's when you're out on a business trip and she's home when she's at the grocery everything is in question when everything's in question and that's just life is too short so you've got to get to the bottom of this and feel good about her

character to move forward in the relationship that's's just man-to-man talk, and that has nothing to do with finances. As far as the finances go, if this thing bottoms out, you're going to be forcing the sale of a car here. I hope your name is on the ownership of the car, not just co-signed it. And I hope you didn't get messed over to that degree. But, yeah, you've got a mess. You've got a mess, and you need to dig into it before you put a ring on her finger. That's going to – this is an issue.

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