The Ramsey Show - App - "Inflationships" Have Hit America! (Hour 2)

Episode Date: May 28, 2024

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, this is the Ramsey Show. It's where you get help to win in your life, specifically in your money life, in your relationship life, and in your work life. We are here for you. 888-825-5225. 888-825-5225. I'm Ken Coleman. Dr. John Deloney joins me, and we are here for you this hour. Let's get right to the phones.

Daniel is up in Syracuse, New York. Daniel, how can we help? Hey, Ken and John. Pleasure to speak with you all. How are you doing? Good. Hey, can you maybe move your phone a little bit? It feels like you might be a bit muffled

so we can hear you better. How about now? Oh, perfect. Daniel, what a lovely voice you have. What's going on? Hey, appreciate it. So I've got a question on my parents. They are pretty deeply in debt

and just wondering how I might be able to talk to them, but having some kind of walls come up as I'm talking to them about their debt, because they're in about $60,000 of credit card debt, and it's been a struggle. Is that the only debt they have? They've got their mortgage. They say that in about three years it'll be paid off. They've got cars as well. I'm not sure how much.

They've got pretty nice cars, like a Toyota and a Mazda, relatively maybe a couple years old. Okay. How old are you? I'm 30. 30. Have they called and asked you your insights and opinions on their credit card debt?

Absolutely not. It's been my experience and the experience of those of us who do this show, parents don't like receiving unsolicited feedback on their money or their sex life from their children, just as a general rule. Hold on a second. Just a quick question. Are 30-year-olds talking to their parents about their sex life? I got the money thing but you just

threw me for a loop there yeah it's just it's just it's the new it it's this uh it's part of the i'm best friends with my kid generation oh i see and we talk about quote unquote everything there's people in the audience sorry nope no no my body was waiting to release that one i just no but okay so here's the deal um You love your parents, don't you? And you hate seeing them struggle, right? Oh, yeah. It's the worst seeing them go through it. How did it come up, by the way?

The first time you made... Good eyes? Yeah, no, no. How did the whole conversation about their debt come up? I'm curious. He's been through it for decades, but I recently want to talk to him about it

because now, hey, I'm on the Ramsey plans these past couple months. I can actually see a way for my financial future. Like, hey, perfect for my parents. Let me try to help you guys out. So you called him up with the formula for cold fusion. You're very enthusiastic about it. Okay. I'm caught up, John hey man uh you're 30 and you're you've probably seen this before but and you'll continue to see this throughout your life one of the hardest things to experience as a person is watching people you love continue to make decisions that you know are hurting them and who they will not take your advice. They don't want your input. And it's just heartbreaking because you've got a plan.

You've got a plan, and they don't want anything to do with it. And they're choosing this to be where they are right now, and that's just hard. I think the greatest thing you could do is not judge them and not lob grenades at them, but you continue to um live by example and become a person so full of light and joy that they have to stop and go dude what what have you done yeah you could say i don't owe anybody anything i could do whatever i want and maybe just maybe you can sit down and have that conversation with them.

Daniel, when you brought it up, was there real tension? I mean, and we don't need to hear blow by blow, but I'm just curious. Has this been a very tense situation on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being chill, 10 being World War III? Where would you put this conversation? How would you rank it? I'm going somewhere with this. Yeah, I'd say 3 or 4. They're willing to talk about it, but as soon as it comes down to, hey, maybe we should look at income and expenses and talk about a budget, then that's, well,

let's change the subject. Yeah, of course. So here's, I want to run this by John, run this through the proper psychological process. If I were you, Daniel, I'd probably call him back pretty soon or sit down with him and just go, hey, listen, I've been thinking, I came on a little hot and I know you guys are adults and here's the deal. I had no intention of dishonoring or disrespecting you. So here's what I wanted you guys to hear me say. Mom, dad, you heard my two cents. If you want to hear it, you know where to find me. I did not mean to do anything other than just help, but I realized I crossed the line. Will you forgive me? And I would leave it at that because I think that that will give you the shot at them coming to you when they realize they need it. I just feel like they were just disrespected.

They're like, who are you, whippersnapper, John? That's exactly what it is. It's the powdered butt syndrome. I powdered your butt, so I don't want to hear your thoughts on money. And there's a little bit of shame, right? There's a little bit of, hey, how are you guys spending your money? Like, whoa, like whoa slow down and and daniel you don't know this but i remember when i was seeing um counseling clients in my practical man they would tell me

about their love lives about their intimacy lives they tell me everything they would not talk about their debt they wouldn't talk about their money because it's such a source of shame and so it may be that your parents are trying to protect you from how tough things really are and they don't want to scare you. They don't want to be embarrassed. And so there's just a lot wrapped up in that. And so I love Ken's wisdom. Call him back and say, dude, I was out of line.

I'm sorry. You don't even ask. And I'm here throwing grenades like I'm a 30-year-old know-it-all. This is working for me in my house. If you'll ever have questions, man, you call anytime, night or day, and I'll be there for you. But I'm not going to let this get in the way of how much i love you guys that makes sense and i was really hoping dr john you're gonna say hey just let them know how you feel how is this fucking you and maybe they might be willing to but sounds like that's not a good route to go if they ask you then yes i do think at 30

is the age when my dad and i and and again, my dad's a homicide detective, so we joked and talked about death way too much in my house and probably more than was healthy. But 30 was when we started talking about wills and where stuff was and where the insurance paperwork and the state of things in our house. And so maybe in that same conversation, you can say, I'm just nervous about, I want to honor you guys in the future. I did this wrong. I came off trying to tell you how to handle your money.

That's not my job. But I do want to talk about, do you have a will? Where is it? Let's just make sure we're all on the same page as I'm getting older. And that may be another entry point into the conversation. Okay. Yeah, I think, John, if he goes that route,

and you didn't give him that advice because it still can come across the wrong way if he's like, this is how it's affecting me. No. They didn't ask for it. They'll stop you like, I didn't ask you how this is affecting you. I could see my dad go, get over it. I don't know why it's affecting you that way, pal. It's very interesting.

The dynamic is really interesting. I was talking to somebody the other day, because I'm in that stage now where my parents are in their 70s, and you're beginning to see the slowdown. They're still quite there cognitively. But it is a really tough relationship scenario to start stepping in. At some point, you do have to take on the role of the parent yeah but boy that's never easy is it no and that's why i love um i mean i've just been blessed to see it done it's such a quote-unquote the right way with my family um

talking about it before there was any emergencies um talking about i know where the will is i got a copy at my house i know where the stuff is at my dad house. So just knowing before we get into some of those hard things. But, yeah, that switch is always messy, messy, messy. And the more honest and open we can be, the better. Tough stuff. We're rooting for you, Daniel. Hang in there. Just honor them and let it play out.

And I know that's harder to do than it is for me to say. This is The Ramsey Show. Welcome back, America. You're listening to The Ramsey Show. The phone number is 888-825-5225. 888-825-5225. I'm Ken Coleman. Dr. John Deloney joins me.

We're here for you. And we go to Denver, Colorado next, where Dane is joining us. Great, Dane. I love that. Why is that so funny to me? I don't know. Dad jokes.

Dane, if you were my friend, I'd call you Great Dane. What's up, dude? I would, too. I hear it all the time. How are you guys? We're doing well. Kind of deflated now. I thought I just made that up, but such it is.

No, no. So what's up? Every baseball coach since I've been a little kid all right um my wife and i are in a debate right now um should we hold off on building a second home until we can cash flow it i've heard y'all mentioned before that second homes are quote unquote toys but does this apply if my primary residence is already paid for? Do you have any other debt? No, I have zero debt. Yeah, and I'm a babysat millionaire.

My net worth is like 1.5. I save 23% of my income. How much money do you have set aside for this second home? Well, we've been cash flowing up to this point. Last four years, we've done $89,000, and that did the land, the septic, the well, the access road, the electricity, and a foundation. So my real problem, my wife wants to wait, just cash flow it all. And I do see the point in doing that. But my problem is a full rush for time.

I'm trying to do this for us to enjoy with kids up in the mountains of Colorado. And it's going to take us about seven years to do that. My daughter will be 18. My son will be 15 at that point, you know? So that's kind of what I'm up against. I'm not opposed to waiting. It's just, it isn't what I want. Well, no, you are because, no, hold on, you are, you're opposed to it. And she wants to cash flow the rest of it. And you're like, no, man, I've sacrificed and waited long enough. And that's why you guys are having the debate. So you call us.

Correct. Hey, we're having a debate. And which way do you think we're leaning in this debate position? At least which way? I'll go first. Which way do you think I'm going on this one? I know which way y'all are going to go. I just thought I could be the exception to the rule.

You know, Dane, I will say you have an exceptional name, and we already told you how great it was. No pun intended. But you don't get a pass on this. Now, my question becomes, now this is the way I think, John. Dane, I understand completely how you feel. I mean, I get it. I completely understand that. I'm in the same situation on a pool and some other things that I want to do for the family, and I got my first one leaving the nest, and I've been through all that crap, and I get it. It's the wrong narrative, but I get it.

So my question becomes, how do you shorten that timeline with more income? That would be my immediate position. I'm going, all right, I'm not going to go into debt. I've been so disciplined at this point. I got the daggum foundation poured, right? So now how do I turn, did you say seven years? How do I turn seven into three? What's the number that would do that?

Well, I'm already stretched thin, man. I didn't ask that. I didn't ask that. I get it. I literally, I can't do anymore. I mean, I work, I have three jobs. I wrote some successful books that I gain revenue on. I'm working on another one. Okay, hold on. I'm with you, but I still asked you, what's the number, roughly, that would turn seven years into three? About 100,000. Okay. And how much are you bringing in with these three jobs and all these books? It varies. Book sales up and down,

but I'm at low-end, like 140, high-end, like 160. Okay, and that's all in, that's all the jobs, all the books. That's everything. What's your primary, what's your primary income? What, what, what field are you in? What do you do? Yeah. Um, I'm, I'm, I'm a land surveyor for the state of Colorado and, uh, I can do a lot of the work. I already have done as much as I can on the property myself. Of course. What are the other two jobs that you're spending all this time on? Yeah, I'm licensed across the country. So the state of Oregon is very low on licensed land surveyors. So I work part-time for some firms out there.

That pretty much takes up my nights, sometimes my weekends too. And what's the third job? I have two of those firms. Okay. So, yeah, I'm doing that for two firms. Then I got my normal state job. Is there a way for you to make more money than doing those two surveying things? It feels like that's capped income.

And it takes a lot of time. Yeah, I know it is. Right? Or is there a way for you to partner with your wife and say all right we'll cash flow this but i need your help getting a job over the next three years maybe even part-time and i i understand we want to keep the house free but also i don't want this thing to be built as our daughter's leaving the house to go to college.

Would she participate in that way? She does. She manages some Airbnb-style places for some people. She makes, I don't know, like $800 a month doing that. She has a full-time mother. Here's what I'm challenging you on. John, jump in here. I just think you guys are exchanging too much time for the money you're making.

If I was all in and I needed $100,000, and my guess is you don't need $100,000, do you? Do you need $100,000 from this point on to get there in three years? Or do you got some of the $100,000 saved? How much do you have saved? No. I could throw about $50,000 at it. So wait a second. But that's kind of like our emergency, emergency stuff, you know?

Well, no, no, no, no, no. That's not, we don't use the emergency fund for the dream home. Well, that's on top of the emergency fund. Okay, so if I'm hearing you right, Dane, you need to make another $50,000 and we cut this timeline in half. Yep, about, yes. $50,000 between the two of you? You guys are spending too much time doing the wrong thing. The question is, how do we make more money for our time?

Yeah. Yeah. You're right. I know. You know what I would be doing if I were you? I would be running an exercise on how much am I making per hour just for fun. How much am I making per hour as a surveyor outside of my day job? I get why you went that path. It makes a lot of sense. And then how much money is she making per hour? Start

looking at that. Am I right, John? And then you lean it up against $22 an hour for throwing boxes at Walmart or $21 an hour working at McDonald's. And it's not sexy, but man, if you're surveying and she's um cleaning airbnbs or managing airbnb properties for less than what you can make at a local arby's i'm gonna have some hard conversations with myself grand i just don't understand how you came up with seven years from now having 50 grand unless i misunderstood something well yeah i mean y'all y'all are right when y'all say, I've heard Mr. Ramsey say all the time, this is what you think a house is going to cost to build, multiply it by four or two, that's what it's going to cost. What I'm saying, Dane, is I'm working off your numbers, but I know you're, but my point is, is that if what I heard is that you only need 50 more grand

to get to that 100, that would allow you to finish this house bro that's that's that's just a shy above four grand a month you guys could figure out a way to do that yeah we could yeah you're right so i i gotta be honest with you man this is i don't get what's going on here. You're the one holding up your timeline. Don't say it too loud. Well, here's, Dane, it's a common thing that we all experience, which is we pretend that the fences that we've built in our own lives are concrete. They're just not. And sometimes it takes a third party like Ken to go push on it,

and the whole thing falls over, and you're like, oh, I don't have to do that. I don't over you're like oh that i don't have to do that i don't have to do that i don't have to do that and often it feels like either we have to borrow money or we're going to send our kid away to school and they're never going to get to see the vacation home neither of which are true what's a third and a fourth and a fifth and a sixth option maybe we cut the timeline in half maybe she stays at home and does a year. Whatever. We can go down a rabbit hole there. But it's always, anytime you feel boxed in, ask yourself,

all right, hold on. I'm going to invent three or four more options and see if we can make those come true. But Ken is right on. You're too smart and too savvy and you work too hard. You can find 50 grand, you and your wife together. No question about it. Man, I'm ready to build a house now. Ugh, it's exhausting. I feel bad for him, but you've made it this far. Stay the course. Stay the course.

Thanks for the call, Dane. We're rooting for you. And you are in fact, sir. Great. This is The Ramsey Show. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show, where we help you win in your life. We help you win with your money, win in your relationships, and win in your work. I'm Ken Coleman. Dr. John Delaney joins me. And boy, oh boy, I don't know what we did right or wrong to deserve this. wrong uh the article in my hands folks is another exhibit that the apocalypse is coming soon some of you're going what are you talking about well here's the headline this is a new york post article which should warn you um i want an inflation ship I want to make sure the audience hears me,

that I've enunciated properly, an inflation ship. Let's live sexless and financially free in the same bed. Now, this is a headline. This is a real headline, John. This is apparently a story about a cash-strapped millennial who has recently made a mass plea for a platonic soulmate to move into his bed, split expenses, and live with him fiscally ever after. This is a guy by the name of Ben Keenan, who's 31, from Seattle,

and is a travel influencer. Make of that what you will. And the post, of course, is on TikTok, which has become the gutter of our mental society. It's just garbage. All right, here's a direct quote, John. Feel free to jump in at any point. I'm looking to date somebody. This is a direct quote. I'm looking to date somebody so that we can sleep platonically next to each other and I can have the rent that i pay for a one-bedroom apartment he went on to gripe about paying two thousand dollars a month in rent for five thousand excuse

me a 500 square foot apartment that he lives in alone um rent is not created for single people this is a real person saying stupid things like this This is a real person saying stupid things like this. This is a real person saying real things. Bills are not created for single people, John. Hold on, even better. This is my favorite part. My groceries are $200 a week. Let's talk about the fact that it could be $100 a week

because I'm throwing out half my food because nothing is created for single people apparently neither are storing devices such as tupperware no tupperware he's throwing out half his food i know this is a real genius here um so this gets better i need a platonic soulmate who's going to be sleeping in my bed for the next 100 years so this is a complete utter moron who's gone on TikTok and gotten unbelievable amounts of traction because the article goes on to say that people are responding and going, this is so true. Adult platonic life partners is the move, chimed one supporter.

And on and on the support goes for some of the most illogical moronic statements i've ever heard in my life and dr john has now pushed himself away from the microphone i'll tell you what i'm upset about please break it down i'm surprised you made it this far here's what i think is ridiculous in the 21st century all right where's the miniature unicorns ken it's ridiculous well okay can i just throw something at you why do you have to share the bed with the person this sounds like a roommate to me how privileged are you because you don't understand what it's like to live in these humongous cool hip metropolitan cities and the expensive uh rent on these teeny tiny closet size apartments no i do understand but have the roommate why does it get creepy I do understand. But have the roommate. Why does it get creepy?

Why do you have to have the person in the bed with you? Can we just do like Dick Van Dyke and Mary Tyler Moore? If we had that kind of space jerk. Oh, so you're saying they have to. It's because we only have enough space. For a queen size bed. For a queen size bed. Yeah. Okay.

I'm just curious. Are there any women out there that find that to be creepy i i find it to be creepy if some dude's putting that out there i need you to be my platonic partner well so there's another 36 year old entrepreneur from australia recently recently revealed she rakes in 600 bucks a month via hot bedding or renting out the unoccupied side of her bed for extra cash. Folks, I'm not kidding you. I am not an alarmist, but today it starts. If we don't have a meteor crashing down on us inside of six months,

then I've missed it because this kind of thinking, I'm not even trying to be irritated. I just don't understand it, John. People are renting out the side of their bed? I got to tell you. So basically, they made a movie once called Friends with Benefits. It was Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis. Mila Kunis.

Thank you very much. And this is Friends Without Benefits? Yeah. Otherwise, a roommate that we sleep in the same bed because we can't afford two beds. Is that what you're telling me? I feel like you really got to this. That's the whole proposal. Yeah.

How long before people start proposing that they buy a house like this? Renting, by the way, this genius, and this is why you shouldn't be paying attention to any influencer on TikTok. This genius has said a couple of things that I need, that bills are not for single people. Bills are not for single people. Food is not for single people. Well, that's great. Then I guess if they starve, the bills go away.

And it makes it a little bit easier for the rest of us. This is natural selection, folks, what this is. This is Darwinism at its finest. Am I right? Yeah. Take it it away i don't have anything to say this is the longest i've been speechless i think in my adult life but i have no words to say because this is the absurdity of it all um yeah things are super expensive but if i don't have anything to add ken this is just insanity and madness and more insanity and more madness. Yeah.

All right. Yeah. Because there's always get a better job, get an actual roommate. Or move to a community that you can afford to live in. And here's what's – can I also say this? I'm not trying to be unkind to the folks at the New York Post, but this is the kind of crap that makes the media what they are. This is all clickbait.

And we just played into it, but we did it to do a public service. Stop clicking on this crap, folks. Inflationship? Really? That's the word? I mean, man, let's move on to real stuff, shall we? Mark's in San Jose, California. Mark, please pull us from this distorted world we're in.

Mark, how's it going? That was hilarious. Thanks for having me on. I'm a huge fan of the show. Yeah, I'm married with three kids. I'm 38 years old. I work in tech, and I'm making about $400,000 a year. Wow.

We had what we thought was a really smart idea to move away, get off the hamster wheel in the Bay Area and move to Ohio. And in doing so, move closer to family and also wipe out our debt entirely. No mortgage, no school loans, no nothing. And so we enacted this plan, and I'll be getting a 25% pay cut for cost of living. But then right as we're getting ready to leave, I just got another job offer for $600,000 a year. And I want to know, it was a smart idea to move away for a 25% pay cut, $300,000 a year, but now is it still a smart plan?

What are your opinions on this? To stay, is the $600,000 job staying in your area? Yeah, exactly. It would be still within the Bay Area. Okay, hold on. Plot twist. Have you thought about moving to Ohio and renting out the middle of your bed? That's a very good point.

Maybe you could get an entire family to all sleep with you guys. I'm just saying, relationship is real. I think that's a good point. I think you could make up the other gap. You know what? I stand corrected, John. There you went,

and you just totally disproved my entire theory. There you go. Mark's a smart guy. Mark, here's the question. Can you not pay everything off with this new $600,000 job in a pretty short amount of time? I mean, I guess, yeah. My mortgage was about $860,000.

Mark, what do you want to do? Yeah, what do you want your life to be, dude? Yeah, this is pretty simple. No wrong answer. What's your heart telling you? I think having my kids grow up closer to their family. Go, done. Go, go go you have our

permission to not take a six hundred thousand dollar a year job it's an awesome you're a talented guy you're always going to have opportunity you get you get to decide like few people do what kind of life do you want to have and this is the kind of life you want to have that's it you'll make it you'll make it up i i don't think that's a pay cut that stays very long. I love this decision. I agree with John 100%. This is a classic. Essentially what John and I do when we coach people, it's a wrestling match between the head and the heart. And the head's going, turning down $600,000. Are you crazy? You're a moron like the guy who wants an inflation ship. That's your dad's voice. No, you're not. You You're genius. Take the life change that you know you guys want.

Dr. John is absolutely right. Thanks for the call, man. Congrats. You're getting out of the Bay Area. You won the lottery. This is The Ramsey Show. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. Thrilled to have you with us.

888-825-5225. 888-825-5225. 888-825-5225 is the phone number. Thrilled to have you with us. I'm Ken Coleman. Dr. John Deloney is with me. And speaking about something we're thrilled about, you know, every once in a while, you know, when you do stuff that we get to do at Ramsey Solutions, which is make products and services to help people, you see something catch fire because it hits a nerve. And it feels like the marriage and money event, excuse me, money and marriage, I said it wrong, the money and marriage event is certainly that. And they got another one

coming up. That's right. And good news and bad news. The bad news is we have one coming up in October and it sold out in record time. Oh, wow. So it's gone. Congrats. The good news is we added another one for Valentine's Day 2025. You're welcome, gentlemen. We've taken care of everything for you. Valentine's Day in the bag, 2025 here in Nashville, Tennessee. You can spend a weekend in Nashville where you and your spouse can get away from the insanity of home life and focus on your marriage. Two and a half days, you can hang out with me and Rachel Cruz and others in Nashville, so you never know who's going to pop in and hear expert teachings on communication, sex and intimacy, get on the same page with money, emotional connection, and more. Tons and tons of Q&A with me and Rachel. If you don't get your question answered it's

because you didn't ask it there's tons of time to just hang and we also throw a rad rad party ken do you need a dj it was kind of off the hook i'm not gonna lie yeah the party they threw last year was pretty incredible. Tell me about the party. Are you allowed to? Or is this like you only experience it? We're not going to tell you about it? Yeah. Okay.

All I can say is the next morning when the conference continued after the party. Uh-oh. A lot of ibuprofen going around? No, it wasn't that. It was a lot of very happy people. There was lots and lots and lots and lot of very happy people there was lots and lots and lots and lots of smiles oh i see what you did there boy is it warm in here is it just me the glow of the auditorium okay it was warm okay i see how did i walk right into that i'm just

telling you it was quite the party by the way if you want me to dj i've got a ton of chicago and peter satara stuff stuff that I think the crowd would love. It would slay. All right. It's a little side hustle. Oh, dude, it'd be so good. You're the meaning in my life.

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you go to get those that's right slash events there it is it's gonna be fun all right I'll work on the DJing situation I don't think it's's going to happen, but I'm going to try. We'll see what happens. I know a few people. Let's go to Las Vegas, Nevada, where Brian is joining us. Brian, how can we help? Hey, guys. How are you?

Hey, doing good. Thanks for taking my call, Ken and Dr. John. Dr. John, love to hear you sing some more. No, no, no. Did you know that's the first time that sentence has been uttered in the English language? Just then. It is true. Well, real quick, before I get to my question, I just wanted to thank you guys, all the Ramsey

personalities. My wife and I, well, I drive that bus every day while we're sitting there eating lunch, and I'm constantly listening to the show. So, um, we're like diehards. We've, we've taken care of almost all of our debt. We're moving into baby step six. Um, getting our house, uh, is going to be our next thing on our, on our list. So we've just been totally stoked over everything that you guys do. So thank you for that. My question, I've got a 20-year-old son who is living on his own. He's been on his own since he graduated high school. And he has managed to go to electrical school to become an electrician, which we were all for. Super excited for that. He had a job in the electrical field for about nine months and said it was too hard. And now he's

delivering pizzas at night. And so he fell behind. He's got a paid for car. He's got his apartment and he's got a $6,000 credit card bill. Now to his credit, he handed over the Discover card to me and said, this is out of control and I'm not making good choices with this. And I'm like, no, you're not. And so when he went through that transition phase between his electrical job and now he's doing deliveries at night, he's just like, I just don't think that's for me and whatever and whatever. I just don't know what to do to,

I feel like we're behind, he's behind the eight ball a little bit and he's got this awesome career decision he made and now he's not doing anything about it. And I, to give you a little bit more context, he went through a very, very difficult mental health break when he was about 15 years old and recovered from that. And he's much better in that respect. So I have to be honest, I've kind of wanted to treat him as a kid a lot and supplement help to him. And I'm just afraid he's going to get to this point. He's moving in two months to another apartment. So that's cheaper, right? Because he moved two years ago in the middle of the pandemic. And I'm just, I told him I'm not co-signing for you. So you

better get your stuff together. And I just don't know what to do. He just does not seem to be taking this too seriously. Well, man, John, I want to turn this over to do. He just does not seem to be taking this too seriously. Well, man, John, I want to turn this over to you. We have such limited time, but I just want to address one thing on the work piece very quickly. I want to get out of the way because I think there's a lot going on here. On the work piece, Brian, as his dad, I would actually take the pressure off, and you may have already done so. I would be sitting down if you were my son, and I would just be learning more about the comment that it was really hard. I wonder if there's more there that it just, it wasn't that it was just hard as far as physically hard, but it may not have been his thing. He may have been struggling to do it at a level, and maybe he had lost confidence. I would dig into more, a very safe, encouraging conversation. I'm going to give you the Get Clear Assessment and the book,

Find the Work You're Wired to Do, for him. And I want you to be the dad where you go, hey, no big deal. You're young enough to turn this around. I don't think he's behind the eight ball. I really don't. And I'm going to leave it at that, let John talk about the history of the mental health and what's going on here. But from a work standpoint, I would say I love the fact that you hand me your credit card, and I love that you are at least delivering pizzas, and I'm going to support you. Here's a resource, and let's talk through this, your results, and let's figure out what direction he does want to go. But by digging into why it was so hard, let's just see if it was hard work or if it was very, very difficult and he's not really wired to do it

and then help him reset and see what else is out there. But, John, I want to bring you in for the bigger part of this call. Yeah, Brian, you're young. Your boy's lonely, isn't he? Yeah, actually, yeah. He doesn't have very many friends he's probably got he's probably got and this is a very common thing for young men to start to spin out because they got nobody are you do you live close by him yeah okay starting tomorrow i want you guys i want you

to set up a breakfast at 7 a.m. with him twice a week. No agenda other than you got to come eat with me and I'm picking up the bill. And here's what I want you to seek to do. I want you to seek to get to know your son. I'm going to send you a bunch of questions for humans just to give you all something to do at the table. You can bring a game. You can bring whatever. No agenda.

But I want you to get to meet your son. like ken it's going to come up hey man when you said it was hard tell me about that and what his body is desperate for right now is human connection he doesn't have that and so everything feels overwhelming and everything feels hard and your dad sirens are starting to go off because you remember when he was 15 right right? Yeah. That's right. So we're going to double down, not on a plan. He's going to be fine, dude. Me and Ken didn't start our jobs here until our late 30s, early 40s, right? Like he's going to be fine in terms of being behind the eight ball.

He's not going to be okay if his body continues to deteriorate into loneliness. So you could double down and connect with him, and we're going to start there. Hang on the line and we'll get you hooked up. Yeah. You're a good dad, Brian. You're a good dad. I promise it's going to be okay. This is The Ramsey Show. Thank you.