The Ramsey Show - App - Is Cryptocurrency a Good Investment? (Hour 1)

Episode Date: May 3, 2021

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🎵 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host, Ken Coleman, Ramsey personality and host of the Ken Coleman Show, where he talks about careers and finding your purpose. Your dream job is here to talk to you as well. So you got questions about money?

You got questions about a career? You got questions about your life? You jump in. The phone number is 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. Michael starts off this hour in Dayton, Ohio. Hey, Michael, how are you? Hey, Dave, how's it going? It's an honor to speak with you and Ken. You too, sir. What's up? Hey, so I've been looking a lot at cryptocurrency, and I know you guys are a little against it. it's pretty hostile in that

environment uh i have about 3 800 saved up from uh working my job and i just want to know what are the best investments to really look at and uh where to go about it um hostile what do you mean hostile, hostile where the validity of it were... The volatility? Yes. Oh, yeah, definitely. Okay. Well, I mean, you have to set your investment goals with what you believe is your best path to becoming wealthy. Otherwise, you wouldn't do the investment, right?

Mm-hmm. And so, how old are you i am 24 okay all right so when i was 24 i uh made a lot of mistakes buying things that i thought would make me wealthy quickly and easily um i bought a lot of nothing down real estate i went broke as a result i uh i bought gold futures once a buddy of mine had a stockbroker ken that friend of his it was a gold guy and he had he had the ticket he had it figured out he had the formula and uh he had hit uh buying on the way a future works when you purchase it at a price. And if it goes under that, if the price is under that, when you get to that date, you get zero. If it's over that, then you get a multiple of what you've put in. And so I bought a future, put $5,000 in that I didn't really have. That's about all I had.

Put the whole $5,000 in because this guy had hit 14 times in a row on his prediction. Wow. I mean, he was amazing. He was like a gold savant. He had it all figured out. I mean, 14 times he had hit and the future made. And so the rate we went in at, I put $5,000 in and it was a 10X. If it hit, I was going to make 50 grand.

It was his 15th try. And we all know where I'm going with this, right? Oh, yeah. You can see where this story's going. You know he missed on that try, and my little bitty $5,000 net worth was just evaporated based on my attempt to make $50,000 in 90 days off of $5,000. And, you know, Bitcoin's hot.

Crypto's hot. A lot of people are making a lot of money on it right now. It is, as you said, Michael, very, very volatile. And so it falls, for me, an old guy, under the heading of getting rich quick. And I have not found many people that get rich quick. And so I don't like losing money. I mean, just telling that story from 25, 35 years ago makes my stomach hurt. Yeah, I would think so.

I work too hard for the money that we get and that we get to keep after the government takes their share. And so I don't like losing it. So, Michael, you can certainly do what you want to do, but you called here, we do not tell people to invest in highly volatile, unpredictable investments. And currencies of any kind fall in that category. Bitcoin would be the most volatile among those. Crypto would be the most volatile among those. And statistically, you're going to probably get your, you know, you might get it. I mean, the GameStop thing, when the kids were running the GameStop thing off of Reddit and all that.

That was extraordinary. And they made, you know, one guy called here. He put in $3,500, and he made $50,000. His hit. I mean, he was playing. He was running a short on that thing. And, you know, with those guys, they took them to task. They took them to woodshed.

It was interesting to watch from the outside. But I've also got a friend that's invested in six restaurants, and I go over there and eat. Yes. I didn't invest in any of them. That's right. And I like the people that run them. But you know what the failure rate on restaurants is? It's like almost all of them fail.

Very high, yes. You know, they just don't make it. But he's an investor, so he wants to do that, and that's fine. I don't. He called me and said, you want to put money in this restaurant i'll go over and eat i will invest in your food yes yeah well it's really true the way you teach investing and the way i live and the way you live that's right and that's how you based it there is risk involved of course but when you're talking about bitcoin or really volatile stocks like this, I think it's no different than gambling. I'm not trying to be cute with the words, but there's

investing, which is I'm going to invest. If you think about the way that word is. Then you talk about this kind of stuff, and it is a form of gambling. It really is. You're going, all right, I'm going to put it in and hope that it keeps going up, but this stuff could drop just like this out of nowhere. At a minimum, it's speculating not

investing that's what gambling might be on one side they're speculating yeah that's a bit of a strong statement investing investing might be but that's what investing investing implies the tortoise yes speculating implies the hair yes that's right gambling is the uh possum in the middle of the road okay but yeah that's what it feels like emotionally to me. It really does. Like, if I were to invest in Bitcoin, I'd just be a bundle of nerds. I think you got a better shot at Bitcoin than you do the lotto. So that's all I'm saying.

That is fair. But both of them are dumb ideas in my mind. And I didn't put any money in either one of them, by the way. I've never bought a scratch-off ticket in my entire life. Dave, you're no fun. No, I just don't like giving my money away. I can drive.'m gonna have fun that way i'm gonna roll down the window with a hundred dollar bills out and call the traffic jam you know we're going down the interstate that's more fun yeah well you're too competitive you want to have a shot at making some money not just just i'm

gonna throw it in the air and to see what happens and you know of course everybody that's a bitcoin genius right now thinks dave ramsey's an out-of-touch boomer which is probably true but i'm also uh worth several hundred million dollars so let's go figure that out but um yeah Everybody that's a Bitcoin genius right now thinks Dave Ramsey's an out-of-touch boomer, which is probably true. But I'm also worth several hundred million dollars, so let's go figure that out. Yeah, I'd say look at the scoreboard. Take Dave on all you want to, but the scoreboard is a scoreboard. And it does come down to your risk tolerance. Well, not just risk tolerance.

What is your goal? And what do the data points tell you? So, I mean, I've had people call this show investing in beanie babies really you remember when beanie babies were crazy i was a kid i remember my grandmother adam people invested they were like they were like a such a hot commodity people were investing in the calling calling them as a collectible calling in here saying i put my kids college fund in beanie babies i did that actually happened for me that's right up there with bitcoin yeah Yeah. I mean, you know, I got a lot. But the difference is I did buy Beanie Babies.

As a gift. No, Sharon got it. Not as an investment, but Sharon was collecting them as a hobby. Okay, that's good. Now the grandbabies in the shih tzu play with them. But that's all they're good for. But, you know, the thing is, Michael, you can invest in whatever you want. But the data points tell us that people who do get rich quick don't.

That's the bottom line. Out of studying 10,000 millionaires, the number of them that got rich quick is very, very, very small. The ones that were methodical and boring and didn't have a good story to tell on their golf course buddy when they're playing golf. It's a fishing story with some stock that they got into. They didn't have any of that. They just were methodical and they were boring. And that's what I've done this second time. And the second time I kept it.

The first time I lost it all. You do what you want to do. This is the Ramsey Show. Your number one wealth building tool is your income. For business owners, this comes as no surprise. As you're used to putting in extra hours and watching your bottom line. That's why Christian Healthcare Ministries or CHM is a great option for those who are faith focused and budget conscious. CHM is not health insurance. Rather, it's a health cost sharing program. It's not harder, but it is different. To learn if CHM is a fit for you or your business,

visit chministries.org slash budget. Ken Coleman Ramsey personality is my co-host today. That means if you want to talk careers, your guy is here. Open phones at 888-825-5225. We're going to talk about your life and your money. Lisa's in Louisville, Kentucky. Hi, Lisa. Welcome to the Ramsey Show.

Hi. Yes. Thank you. My question is, my husband and I recently, well, we don't have any debt except our first mortgage, which is $13,000. We got about a year and a half to pay. But we just recently bought, using our home equity loan, some land adjacent to our property, and it's $250 a month interest. And so my question, and it's just interest only right now, my question is, if we have extra money, overtime, stimulus money, do we want to put that toward the first mortgage, or should we be putting it toward the bigger home equity interest? Or not interest, principal.

What is your home equity loan balance? $125,000. Good Lord. Okay. And what's your house worth? Probably about $225,000. $225,000. Yeah.

And what's your household income? Oh, let me think about that. I think our, gosh, $75,000 possibly. Mm-hmm. Okay 000 possibly yeah i think so okay this home equity loan is not going to be paid off anytime soon and so it scares me home equity loans have uh variable interest rates that are based on the bank's decision meaning they just get up every morning they make up what they want to charge right now we have three percent yeah right now um and if they decide tomorrow it's four if they decide the next day it's two if they decide the next day it's six it's up to them to decide it's not indexed to anything like an adjustable rate mortgage is it's just up to the bank freaking whim the second thing they have is most of them

have a call provision meaning if they look up and they don't think that you're credit worthy anymore they can call the entire loan this is a very dangerous loan so i would refinance and get one new first mortgage um maybe it's your credit union maybe it's your same bank but not a heloc uh helocs are very dangerous if this does not have a direct call provision or a balloon, I'll be shocked. Almost all of them do. And that means they can just put you in foreclosure if you can't pay them the whole thing. If they decide they don't. I remember the balloon issue coming up, and I didn't think that was part of the deal. Okay.

It may not be a direct balloon. There may not be a set call, but they have call provisions in them, and they're very dangerous. So I would get rid of that mortgage, but you don't have the ability to pay it off really fast unless you've got some cash laying around you didn't tell me about. Well, we have some saving. I mean, we've saved a lot. How much? Well, I don't really know off the top of my head. I'd say $30,000 possibly in the bank.

Yeah. That's not enough. You don't have enough money to pay this off. No, no, definitely not. Okay. But I'm just wondering, what about, well, we have some IRAs, but we have a mutual fund that's $72,000. Would it help at all to take $25,000 out of that and put it toward the principal?

No. I would put everything I could get my hands on that's not in a retirement account. How old are you guys? 50s, late 50s. If you can scratch up the money to pay it off, pay it off. If not, I mean completely pay it off. Get rid of it. I would pay it off if not i mean completely pay it off get rid of it i would pay it off but other than that

i would go to your credit union and get a fixed rate 10-year mortgage no closing costs no points fixed rate fully amateurizing no balloons no calls 10-year mortgage and pay this thing off that's what i would do in this because i'm worried about what's going to happen to you here. In 30 years of coaching, I've seen people come into my office and somebody loses a job and the bank deems you're not creditworthy and they exercise one of the call options in these things and you just can get screwed. And it doesn't happen often, but it happens often enough that it scares me for you.

So I would get it refinanced or I would scrape together $125,000 out of the corners of the couch and get it paid off without cashing out retirement. So, yeah. Yeah, I mean, right now with rates where they are, if they can do that refinance and then really start knocking this thing down, that's the way to go. Stephanie's with us in Tampa, Florida. Hi, Stephanie. Welcome to the Ramsey Show.

Thank you, Dave. Hi, Ken. How are you guys doing? Great. How can we help? Well, I'll just get right to it. I am about $45,000 in debt. Some of that is owed to the IRS.

Some of it is in collections. Most of it's in student loans. And then the other half is through credit cards, with two of them being with a credit, I think, consolidation company. So clearly I'm overwhelmed because I am self-employed. I work from home, but my income per month is around $700, maybe a little bit more if I'm lucky. So I do have $1,000 put aside. I did read your book a few months ago, and that's done thanks to a car that I had sold. But with the money I make now, I'm just wondering.

Stephanie, you're starving to death. $700 a month? You're living way below the poverty level. Yes, there is a reason for that. I do live with my parents. I was living with my fiancee. How old are you? Before.

I'm 29. Why don't you get a job? I'm actually doing that right now. I actually have an interview later this afternoon, which I hope if everything goes well, I'll get it, and I'll be making doubles than what I am now with four hours. She'll be waking more than that. 1,400?

No, no, no, no, no. It would be like right now my hours are not that much. I would say maybe it's like 20 hours a week. Stephanie, what are you applying to do, and what is it that you really want to do? Answer those two questions. So what I'm applying to do is it's a, I guess, administrative system. It's like a scheduler, which would make about $20 an hour

with full-time hours. What I wanted to do, and the reason why I'm actually living with my parents now, is that I was actually supposed to move to Japan for a teaching job. Honey, your phone's cutting in and out. Can you speak directly into your phone, please? Yes, is this better?

Yes, ma'am. So where did I leap off that you couldn't hear me? What you really want to do. What's the big goal for you professionally? What do you want to do? So I really want to teach, and I actually was supposed to go to Japan to do that job um my fiancee's already there um but thanks to the pandemic i i wasn't able to go before the borders closed but you're

qualified to teach here in the u.s presumably um the my degree isn't in teaching it's something that i found out after i graduated that I wanted to do. So right now, I wouldn't have the qualifications to teach here. Okay. Well, you've got to get yourself stable financially, and you're living with your parents, so obviously that allows you to keep your expenses low, but you've got to work the debt snowball. You just read Dave's book. You got your $1,000, and now this is about getting hired.

And this is two and three jobs. I mean, you're young enough. You're not married. This is no life at all. You're working like a maniac, and then you're knocking this stuff out. You can actually do this, but you're going to have to go at it like you've never gone at anything in your life. And as you're doing that, you're going to get stable, and you can take the steps necessary to be a teacher, whether it's back in Japan when that opens up, which I think will be sooner rather than later.

But you've got to get real serious right now. You've got a good situation with the parents. So now it's work, work, work, work, work, pay the debt off. Yeah, 20 hours a week isn't your answer. 80 hours a week is your answer. And minimum wage is not your answer. So, yeah, go to the Ken Coleman website, KenColeman.com, or RamseySolutions.com slash Ken Coleman, and get a bunch of Ken's downloadable

for free tools on getting hired and getting into a different role. You need to go make some money, kiddo. You're living on nothing. You're starving to death. You have an income crisis. Ken Coleman Ramsey personality is my co-host today open phones at 888-825-5225 Jeff's in Boise Idaho hi Jeff how can we afternoon. First of all, I just want to say thanks to Ken. I love his show. Glad he's a part of what you guys do.

I've got a lot of great tips and advice from him over the time. Thank you, Jeff. Appreciate that. My question for you today, Dave, I recently found out I work for a great company. It's an ESOP company, but I just discovered they're not matching my 401K, which is fine. The ESOP more than makes up for it. But should I be investing differently? I'm 56, and I would like to retire by the time I'm 65 to 67. I'm flexible with that.

But according to using your calculator, I'm going to have about 1.3 by the time we retire. I currently have 404 in our retirement. I'd like $404,000 in our retirement. I'd like to get that number up double about that. Should I be investing differently than my 401k? Well, the first thing we try to do is get a match. The ESOP gives you payment whether you get a match or not, whether you put anything in or not, correct? That is correct.

So your first thing is get a match. You don't have a match are you married does your wife have a match uh she she does she works for um the university here and they they match i think they do okay we're going to look into everything the best thing you can do but is to make 100 return on your money that's a match right that's kind of a no-brainer regardless of the taxation issue the the best thing you can do is do a match with a roth actually so if she has a roth or you have a roth 401k or she has a roth 401k or 403b with a match we'll do the match first we're going to 15 of your income till your house is paid off if you're in baby step four. You know that, right?

Which we are. Okay. So using the 15%, we do rock, paper, scissors, except only one direction. And so it's matches first, beats Roth by itself, beats traditional. So does your 401k have a Roth? No, and neither does hers. Okay. Then we're going to do her match first. We're going to do two individual Roths with a SmartVestor Pro next.

And you can do $7,000 each because you're over 50, right? I am. She's not. She's 13 years younger than I am. Okay, then we can do $6,000 and $7,000 there. And that's $13,000. If,000 there, and that's 13. If those two numbers, her match plus those two Roths, does not get you to 15%, then I would go to either hers or your traditional 401ks, whichever one has the best mutual fund options in it, the best performing mutual fund options in it the four types of mutual funds we

talk growth growth and income aggressive growth and international so if we look at say uh your 401k and they're like yeah they're decent and we look at hers and they're like those are really good funds then we're going to go with hers with the match and hers after the roth with the third step back to traditional 401k. But if yours has got better return than hers, then we'll just do hers match, individual Roths over here, and then bounce back to yours to finish up to 15% because you've got good options in there.

Okay. Match beats Roth beats traditional. Okay. Awesome. And we're always looking for those types of mutual funds, those four types with long, long track records. And that is the number one key we found in the millionaire study to becoming wealthy, is that track record right there, that path, that clear path. Megan's in Owensboro, Kentucky. Hi, Megan. Welcome to The Ramsey Show.

Hi, Dave. How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up in your world? Okay, so my husband and I, we just sold our current home, and we have met with some builders, and we have plans to build a home, but I've recently started channeling in with you and listening to all of your advice and all about the baby steps. We have well over 20% down, but we still have some vehicle debt. How much do you owe on your vehicles? How much do you owe? $45,000. Holy crap.

What are you driving um well that's kind of another story but my husband had a rough year last year and he actually bought two different vehicles without telling me um a toy so this is the way this is the way he medicates he goes and buys cars yeah it seems that way ouch it just spends spends money in general, cars and clothes and just different things, yeah. Okay. So if we get on a good track and get rid of the vehicle debt, unless we fix that, you're going to be right back into a mess, aren't you? Yeah. So I think we start with him.

Does he want to work a system to build wealth, or does he want to continue to be a freaking child? He says he's on board with this plan that I'm wanting, you know, basically your plan. Good. Sell the trucks. And I know you say not to modify. No, just sell the trucks. Sell them.

Sell the cars. Yeah. Let's see if he's on plan. He's not on plan. I don't believe you. No. And you don't believe you. No, not really.

I'm sorry, baby girl. Yeah, you guys got to work through that stuff because these trucks and financial problems are the symptom. They're not the problem. Right. So, Ken, if they dig in and get on the same page really, then it – what's your household income, by the way? About $115,000. Okay. And which two vehicles do we buy?

What are they? A brand-new Toyota Tacoma and a vintage, like, 1960s Mustang. Okay. How old is your husband? We're both 31. Okay. And we have about $ 000 right now um saved that's good you know for the for the potential well you guys can decide what you want to do you're both um walking around in 30 year old bodies and so it's legal for you to do whatever you want to do

as far as these issues go what would i tell you to do if you were my kid, and my kid is your age, okay? My grown kid. Yes, I watch her show, too. The Ramsey, Rachel's 33, okay? So what would I tell you all to do if Winston and Rachel sat down in front of me with this? I'm going to tell you what I have done to myself in these situations. I would sell the vehicles not because it's necessary, but because you need to prove to yourself and he needs to prove to himself that we're going to start being grown-ups.

And both of these cars were impulse medicated purchases, is what you described. He was medicating having a bad year in air quotes um and um uh uh you know you need to break i i when and if i can do something and pull it off and it makes my dumb decision earlier go away then it makes me more likely to go back to the dumb decision versus if i amputate these vehicles, I have to feel it then. And let me tell you, I'm a car guy, and getting rid of a vintage 60s Mustang makes my stomach hurt right now

just telling you to do that because I wouldn't be able to do it. I mean, I could do it, but that just makes my – that's awful. I'm hurting. I'm hurting and cringing. Ken's got a great Karmann Ghia he's redoing right now. I love classic cars. Yeah. Look, I just want to say this, Matt Gale. You've got to break the cycle of this, and the spirit of this is more important than the actual math.

Yeah, and after the discipline, he's going to have to get a vision. You two are going to have to come together. This is a marriage thing, and you guys at 31 have got to get a vision. What do we want for our lives? That isn't just stuff. He's going after stuff. We've all done stuff before to make things feel better. But what's the big vision? And it'll help

him with this, as Dave says, car amputation if he's got a big vision that you two hopefully are on the same page for. What do we want for our lives? What does it look like 20 years from now? This is a big decision. And to the best of your ability, I'd get with a counselor is what I think. I think

we need to get on the same page about this money thing because it's coming out of another place it's going to get us in big trouble so either you put $40,000 down on your house and you keep these cars, pay them off or you sell them and you put $80,000 on the house

and you have proven that you're moving in a different direction emotionally and spiritually away from this stuff addiction. That's what I would want to do if I were looking in his mirror and I was him. That's called manhood, baby. This is The Ken Coleman of The Ken Coleman Show is my host today, my co-host today. Folks, there's a ton of underrated holidays, and this is one of my favorite. May 2nd is National Wife Insurance Day.

You've got to be kidding me. It may not sound like much fun. Well, it's because it isn't. I'm going to just get me a confetti cannon for National Life Insurance Day. We should have had hats for that segment right there. Yeah, or not. But as silly as that sounds, life insurance isn't silly at all. It protects your family when you pass away, so they're not dealing with money stress on top of losing you.

And you need the right kind of life insurance. And, of course, the only thing we recommend at Ramsey Solutions is term life insurance, 10 to 12 times your income on you in 15 to 20-year level term. Our free coverage checkup tool will help you find the right term life policy, plus other types of insurance you do and don't need to protect you and your family. To get the results, it's free. Text CHECKUP to 33789. Text CHECKUP.

It's free. Don't put in it's free. It is free, but text CHECKUP to 33789. Candace is with us in Sacramento. Hi, Candace. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi, guys. Thanks for taking my call.

Sure. What's up? So I'm having a bit of a moral dilemma that I'd love your advice on. My son, he's 19 years old, and we have decided as a family, including him in the decision-making process, that he's got to be out on his own on June 1st. We are a month away and he has no money saved. And his plan is to go live on a friend's couch in the bad part of town where the two bedroom apartment that has five people already living in it. So my husband and I are debating, do we give him more time um he's shown no motivation to do anything more than to save um so

we're trying to figure out uh what to do and he's our first teenager so we need some help wow that's some hard discussions isn't it yeah yeah it is you know what we he's a very unmotivated teenager, just works at the drive-in, making $1,200 a month. You know, he could probably pay to rent an apartment with some friends, but he's done nothing to save. He's making dumb, stupid kid decisions. So we feel like maybe he won't go do anything if we don't kick him out. So, yeah, what are your thoughts? Coleman, what would your dad have done uh well i i feel like there needs to be some some details here on the backstory sounds like there's been some behavior that's violating some values and some house rules that are just at this point you and your husband are saying this is non-negotiable

and i guess he's admitted to this and that's where we got to the agreement of June 1. Yes. Is that a quick – okay. Well, my dad would have held to the June 1, despite the fact that I would have been woefully – in this scenario, if this is, and I'm trying to put myself into this situation, Candace, but I think that failure in my life has been the greatest teacher. And there's all different types of failure here, and it's really hard as a parent. I don't have it figured out, but in this situation, I hold to it. You and his dad and him are in the discussion, right?

Yes, uh-huh yeah and we've been we we decided this back in february after he got fired from like his third you know little minimum wage job um and we were like come on dude you gotta you gotta start doing something and he was just you know partying a lot uh coming home at all hours't, you know, and he was paying rent to us then. And so I was doing what, you know, AO has had his dad do back in the day, which was, you know,

he'd pay us rent and we'd save it. And then one day when he moved out, we were going to give it to him, but then he got a speeding ticket. So, you know, we were like, well,

luckily we had this money safe for you. Uh, we, he, he hears you in my office every day, day so he knows the baby steps but there's you know there's nothing to get his life together so well um you know i'm going to take a page out of dr john's book that i might not have a year ago. Um, and I'm probably going to write all of this down as a letter for him to have and physically carry with him.

And the letter also includes not only the things that, um, he's not done, but it includes the fact that, um, any time that you want some help, anytime that you're ready to move in the direction that are consistent with the values that we've taught you, we will help you do that. We are not carving you out of our life. As a matter of fact, we are heartbroken.

Mm-hmm. I mean, my heart's broken just listening. Mm-hmm. And I can't imagine anything harder and sadder. But you run the danger if you go the other direction of being an enabler, and he'll be 29 and still doing the same thing. Right, that's what we're afraid of. Yeah, because there's no progression and no pain to move him off a dead center.

So it might be that that's what his wake-up call is. And you've heard A.O.'s story. His dad kicked him out. He lived in his car. Yeah. Because he was a smart ankle and smart off at his mother. And, you know, run up a bunch of debt and got kicked out of school. And they threw him out.

And he lived in his car for a year. But his dad checked with him every week and made sure he was okay, but let him live in his car, you know? And so, and, you know, A.O. would tell you that's the best thing that ever happened to him. But when he did say, all right, Dad, I'm ready to straighten up and come home, first thing he handed him was a Dave Ramsey budget, and he got on it by God then, you know, because his little tail was ready. But that's A.O.'s story in a nutshell. And so I'm thinking the thing you don't want to do with this is just abandon him to himself. I still want to keep as much love and influence over him as I possibly can by constantly extending not help that enables not help that causes him to continue on the same path but any sign that's positive I'm going to meet him on that sign

and you know he goes and gets a job dad I want to try to get out of that good if you start working on your debts I'll pay some of it I'll pay you know I'll match whatever you put on your dad or mom I'm going to start doing a budget and okay come over here and sit down we'll have dinner and i'll show you and i'll coach you with this and i'll meet with you over coffee once a week and you're not abandoning him that's my point okay and that that would make this the only way it's tolerable for me emotionally it It's real hard. Yeah. Candace, I like Dave's idea of the letter.

I would add a section in there on what you and your husband have noticed about him, his brightest moments in life, whether it's been on the sporting field or in the classroom or at a science fair. This is when you're your best. Yeah, and this is what we see, and you've got all this potential. This teacher said in the sixth grade about you. I would remind him of his tremendous value, and I would also say, hey, we believe there's a unique role that you were put on this planet to fill, and we will help you get there. But this is an agreement, and I wonder if you want to put it in there, but I would show a lot of value there and let him see that. And then I think I love Dave's point of checking in on coffee.

When he wakes up in his own vomit after partying all night, that letter's laying there. That's right, and he remembers the value. He remembers his value. I'm just curious, real quick. Has he ever shared a dream with you for his future? Yeah, he has a, well, I don't know if I necessarily 100% align with it, but. I didn't ask you that. What did he say?

Yeah, his dream is he wants to go into business in the dispensary business because in California, you know, marijuana is legal. So, but he likes the medicinal purposes of it. And so he wants to go into that world. But you have to be 21. So for him, his dream is on hold. Actually, he just wants a way to get free pot that has nothing to do with that's really what it is that's bull exactly that's complete you know i've been encouraging him to um you know he you know he a lot offered a job to work

um as like an activity director for you know uh old um people home. Yeah, are you guys in a good church? Candice, are you all in a good church? Yeah, I am. My son, hate or miss on if he goes. No, your husband too? My husband does not go, no. I think you ought to get some people in your corner that are walking this out with you, because you're going to have idiots say this is tough love, and it's not tough love, it's just love.

Tough love is no different than love. Love has boundaries to it. And as for me and my house, we don't do things this way. And so you can't live here if you're going to do this this way. That's what you're saying. And because you love him, but be there for him. Don't abandon him in this process. Have a friend or family member that needs a daily dose of Ramsey advice in their life?

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