The Ramsey Show - App - Is This a Scam? (Hour 2)

Episode Date: November 30, 2023

🎵 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's The Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. I am your host today, Jade Warshaw, joined by your other host today, Rachel Cruz, and we are taking your calls. So give us a call. The number is 888-825-5225. We would love to hear from you. And I think it's really great, Rachel, that we're both on the show together because the fact of the matter is we both have really great books out at this time.

Rachel, your first kids book ever, which is so exciting. I'm glad for what I have is available for pre-order now. That's super exciting. Or order now. It's not pre-order. It's out. Oh, it's out pre-order it's out oh it's out now out and about girl i'm reading this copy you're good no worries no you're good you're good yes yeah it launched beginning of november of this past month so yeah it's um it's been so great and talking to so many parents you know talking about contentment with kids is a really important conversation to have so hopefully this book kind

of launches into that conversation i've really enjoyed on your social seeing everybody like post them reading it to their kids. And yes, I love it. Love to see it. So if you haven't gotten your copy, get your copy today. It's out there. It's a great Christmas present. Now yours is pre-order. Yes, mine's still on pre-order until December 5th. Okay, it's coming soon. I'm so excited for you. And it's really great because if you do order it while it's on pre-order, the book that I came out with is called Money's Not a Math Problem. And if you order it now, you get three months of every dollar premium for free, which is our budgeting software that we talk about here all the time.

And most people are trying to get their money on track for the new year. So this is a great time to pre-order it so that you get every dollar premium with it. So that's that. Order it today. It's 10 bucks. Come on, $10. Go ahead and do that. Let's go straight to the phone lines

where we've got Brenda in Dallas, Texas. What's going on, Brenda? Hi. Yes, my dad, he's in his 80s and I have determined that he's been scammed out of thousands of dollars by a fake publishing company. Shoot. And so I recently persuaded him that it's a scam, but I still feel like he's very vulnerable because they'll just keep calling and keep calling with a new scam and all of those things. A year ago, he got a call out of the blue to republish one of his books, and so they asked for money up front.

And since then, they've even withdrawn without permission from his account once they got his account number. Oh, wow. So how much money are we talking? Right now, it's almost $20,000. Oh, wow. So how much money are we talking? Right now, it's almost $20,000. Oh, wow. Brenda, do you guys have contact information for these people? I mean, like, this is, they're stealing money.

This is illegal. Have you contacted the police? No, I haven't really known what road to go down legally. What I have been doing is, like, we canceled his cards and got new cards, and we put in fraud information with the bank, and he recently agreed to add me to his bank account. You know, I mean, he wants to leave a legacy for his family, and he's written these books, and they're wonderful books, Christian teaching books, and it's just hard for him. He's, you know, he's not a child that I can

tell what to do. He's a grown adult, and I don't want to take away that, but he's very vulnerable. He's easy to persuade, and they just keep calling with different tactics. Wow. So I guess my question really is, because he's written another book and they want, and he didn't tell them fortunately, but it, you know, it's ready to go and be published again. And he's basically told me, can you find me a safe place where I can publish this book? And in some respects, I want to just shut the door and say, don't do that anymore. But writing is his, his outlet. Well, sure. And when you say publishing, when you're saying publishing, Brenda, do you mean just printing copies of the book? Printing copies of the book and like making

it available on Amazon, you know? I mean, that would probably check all the boxes for him. Yeah, and all of that's not like crazy inexpensive. I mean, it's not crazy expensive. You could do that. I mean, it'll take some work on your end, Brenda, to help find a printer

and all of that, but if that's his wishes, yeah, he doesn't need to be going through a third party unless you think like, oh my gosh, it's like.s lewis's stuff or whatever that like he actually could get signed to a public a legit publisher and do this i don't think that's really what he wants to do necessarily well and i don't think i would trust it at this point yeah no no no i know i know so so yeah i think you guys need to print yeah some some copies and have a few boxes to give to the grandkids i think you can probably put it on amazon some copies and have a few boxes to give to the grandkids I think you can probably put it on Amazon I mean we do that kind of stuff here at Ramsey yeah and the

main thing that he's asked me is you know um can you find me somebody that can be kind of like my agent and and in respect to that I feel like if he had somebody that he knew was a legitimate trustworthy publisher then he would be less likely to fall into the trap of those that are untrustworthy and pursuing him constantly thought about getting him to change his phone number and everything. But what if he got around? It kind of sounds like he's trying to do a lot of this in a vacuum. What if he got around some clubs like and started getting to know a group of writers to where everybody's kind of looking at each other's stuff and everybody's kind of sharing

contact information. And it's a little bit more of a trusted environment where it's like have you used this guy yeah I've used this guy like you know how did you get your book on Amazon this how I did it and it kind of did a community approach as opposed to I'm just like going down the yellow pages and I'm gonna pick a publisher and I'm gonna like that does feel very you don't know what you're gonna get and he's 80 years old Brenda I mean what's your do you like like what do you think his his motivation like what do you think this is in him has he always wanted to do this it's not to crush his dreams there's also a reality that you're 80 and right you know this may not

be your big break right i mean i don't understand if there's a unhealthy part of him trying to be somebody is there anything like that or is it just genuinely he loves what he's writing about and he wants it available for people to read, right? Like, I'm like, I wonder what his motivation is in all of it. Well, and his first book that he wrote is a kind of a teaching book on Christian foundations. And the driving point behind creating the book was to use it in a church setting, and he did use it for years. And at some point, he wanted to take that material and put it together in a book form. And I think his desire now comes from all that happened with that years ago. And so now he's written another book that's similar to that and yet another one. And he lost his wife, my mom, in January. And he just really needs something to grab onto, to give him focus.

Yeah. So what I would do, Brenda, if I were you, is I would sit down with him and say, Dad, listen, here's what's happened. You have been scammed out of almost $20,000. We can't keep doing this. It's not wise, dad. So any big money decision that's happening, anytime you want to spend money, will you just run it by me? I just want to talk through it,

make sure that I can maybe like run course for some of this to be able to help you. Because I want you to, you know, if you have this dream and have this content that you want published and out into the world, we can get that done. We can do that. We also need realistic expectations of what things are in life.

And we don't want your legacy to go down the drain financially by making bad mistakes. And so I want to honor you in that and help you in that as your daughter. But also let's be wise in any big financial decision, dad. Like team up with me and let's be wise and any big financial decision, dad, like let team up with me

and let's talk it through together. You're listening to The Ramsey Show. I'm Jade Warshaw, your co-host today, joined by Rachel Cruz, your other co-host for today. Give us a call. The number is 888-825-5225. And if you are into Spotify, you probably received your like annual Spotify wrapped results, which is pretty cool, where it'll just basically tell you like what the top

things you listen to. If you're into podcasts, it'll tell you the top podcasts you listen to on their platform. And it's been really cool because since those results are in, we've noticed that we're number one on a lot of people's charts, which is really, really cool. So we want to know if the Ramsey show made your Spotify wrapped list. And if it did, let us know. That would be so great. Share your Spotify wrapped results and tag us on social for a chance to hear your name mentioned on this show. That's so cool. And a lot of you of you i know rachel i've seen you repost some i've reposted some yeah and so here are some of the you're on the like main image there could have three people and so it's dave jade and george right look luckily they got

my good side i'm so excited great picture here are some of the usernames of people who have shared uh that we were in their top podcast um so hopefully I get these right, guys. Okay, we have Nicole M. Licht. That's her username. This one is Jade Pettabrodbent. There we go. No relation to myself. Blake Permenter, Aaliyah Fitz,

Chrissy underscore 305, Katie Irene 183, which some people might remember her on the show from being the horse girl that george said she had to sell her horse um ally kens um i'm gonna try this one but it's not gonna be good toxic kitty toxic kitty looks i don't like the sound of that then we got here morgan roarer love it guys keep sharing your playlist we will say your names on the live radio podcast and hopefully we'll say them right so if i didn't get it right please believe me i tried still share them with us whether it's you know in the comments or you know the little paper airplane on instagram we'd love to see that

all right rachel should we go to the phone lines yes Yes, let's do it. We got Jake in Cincinnati, Ohio. How can we help Jake? Hey, thanks for taking my call. Follow the baby steps. Everything's great for people that are listening first time. They definitely do work. So follow them, of course. Question, I'm a school teacher. So we're at the point now we're looking at the investing of the baby steps and 14% of my income goes straight into like our school's pension plan. We don't really have a choice through the state. And I was wondering if the advice changes to people like me that don't really get to control that. Do I just do an extra 1% outside of that or what your guys' advice would be? Yeah. So with a pension, we usually say that you want to take that percentage and just cut it in half. So 50%,

so 7% of it's fine. I would then fund my own 7% because the thing with a pension is you don't have really a choice on where that money's invested. And the powerful thing about retirement investing is that you have the ability to look and to choose the mutual funds and all of that. So we want more of that on your side. So Jake, yeah, with your, that 14%, yeah, drop it in your head, 7%. So that means you'll have 8% that you're going to want to invest to get to that 15% in retirement. So that's what I would do. Does that make sense for you, Jake? Yeah, perfect. Just 8% into a Roth IRA, max it out. Yeah, that's right. All of the steps from there. It's perfect.

Yeah. Great job, Jake. Awesome. Well done. Thank you so much for the call. All right. Let's move on along. We've got Andy who's in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

What's going on, Andy? Thank you very much for taking my call. I'm calling today for some advice, help with my 25-year-old daughter who a year ago had $30,000 in the bank and her own business, but she walked away from that and went to another state to join a fellow that she had met up with. And unfortunately, two weeks ago, she came back home. The relationship went poorly. She's down to $1,500 to her name. She has broken a lease at an apartment, which she's going to owe $6,000 for, and a credit card that she has $6,500 balance on, both in her name only, because he had horrible credit. But those we're just going to deal with.

We're just going to deal with those. Yeah, he talked her into putting everything in her name alone. The worst one is at age 25, a major car company gave them a car loan. They bought a car for $66,000. They ran it up to $80,000 by adding on warranties, etc., etc. They borrowed about $70,000 from this car, again, in her name only. And she's stuck with this thing. She doesn't have the money. She can't take the apartment on her own. She can't own this car on her own. She simply doesn't have the wherewithal. It's an 84-month loan at 9.59%. And the total amount is $80,000?

It was purchased for $80,000. There's a $70,000 owing on it and unfortunately i booked it and the kelly blue book on the car is about 35 to 40 as a private party so yeah horribly upside down as her dad i'm saying look take your lumps pay the apartment pay the credit card but let's turn this car back into the bank and just take the hit on your credit report. Like a voluntary repossession? Is that what you're suggesting? That's what I'm thinking. It'll be one event, not many.

And she can explain it and she'll just have to live it down. But there's no earthly way. She can even sell the car for Kelly Blue Book value and then make up the difference. Like I said, a year ago she had thirty thousand dollars and now she's down well before we do a voluntary repossession because that that is an atom bomb like let's be honest about that that's that's going to follow her around in a similar way that even a bankruptcy would for quite a while so seventy thousand i mean the other debt that she has a six thousand6,000 lease thing, the 6,500 credit cards, that's not something she can't easily overcome.

And the $70,000 car is a lot, and there may be some other options there. But let's talk about her income, because I know she got out of this relationship, but she's still able to earn an income. So what does that look like for her? What's her profession? Can we get some numbers in that area? So a year ago, she had her own business doing eyelashes, eyebrows. And at one point she was earning more than I am. But she walked away from all of that.

And to be perfectly honest, I have no understanding whatsoever how these two are making money they do they were doing online um coaching uh for training for physical training and fitness and nutrition etc so just like okay like influencing and stuff okay right and i clearly doesn't work okay so she's not earning anything right now she's not earning anything right now so andy what um and where's the guy in all of this she left town but is he so she left yeah so she's come back home now two weeks ago um it was it ended up abusive both mental and physical um wow i'm sorry so there's there's that side of it yeah for sure which is real he's, he's back in the state that they were in. Um, but I heard he's mobile. I don't know. He's gone to the wind. Okay. Okay. So he's out. Yeah. There's,

so there's, we're, we're starting clean slate without him. Um, so yeah, Andy, I think for her, I think one of the best gifts that you could give her, especially considering what she just walked out of is any level of confidence that she can have back in herself because when you're in a relationship like that for I mean she was in there for a year I think you said I mean that just that that tears down who you are as a person and so there's something about this is not the fix-all but for her to go back to something she knows she's good at so the eyelashes that you know everything the cosmetic stuff that she was doing um if there's a shop if there's a um you

know some some type of business that she doesn't own i don't think she's in a place to start her own thing that she could go and just start working you know even if it's 30 hours a week but that there's some consistency in earning an income and we're not going to be in a rush. All these numbers are here. We're going to work on, we're going to work through them, but there's part of her building back that dignity and that confidence in who she is. And I think her living with you guys for a bit, I think is a really wise thing. Um, especially from what she's just come out of. I'm okay with that. I'm 100%. And so, yeah. So I would say, like Jade said,

the atom bomb of the car repossession, I almost would just try to sell it for that $40,000, take that $30,000, and so she's going to have a loan of that. She's going to have a lot of debt here. Yeah, she's got to get a loan for that difference. Yes, but then there's going to be some years of working through this, but

obviously I'd rather be in this situation than where she was. That's right. But there's just some things that she's going to have to really slow walk financially. But I also think it's possible for her. I mean, I really do. I think it's going to be a long road ahead, but I think that there is a way.

You're a good dad. This is The Ramsey Show. Hey, what's going on, everybody? You are listening to The Ramsey Show. Hey, thanks for listening to The Ramsey Show. And if you like this show, we'd always love it if you like, subscribe, and share it with somebody who you think could benefit from it. I'm your host, Jade Warshaw, and I'm joined by Rachel Cruz today as we take your calls, give us a call. The number is 888-825-5225. And we'll talk about the things that are concerning you, everything that relates to your life and your money. It could be relationships with your kids. It could be your career. It could be the holiday season that is upon us, Rachel.

And I was talking to James during the break because I saw a article that said 25% of Americans are still paying off Christmas from last year. Oh my gosh. While simultaneously plan on spending more this year. This year just keeps going, keeps going. And so I find that to be very interesting. So Rachel, I'm going to hit you with a couple of facts. Okay. And I want you to react and let's get into this.

So the stats say that on average, Americans are going to spend $875 on Christmas. And that kind of shakes out to a little over 600 on like gifts for like immediate family co-workers then another around 200 on like decorations like miscellaneous things and then another hundred on just kind of like random okay oh like that guy over there needed a gift kind of thing okay what do you think about that number uh it doesn't sound like terrible to me it doesn't sound i thought it would be more yes i would have thought at least 1200 in my head i thought it'd be over a thousand for the average thing yeah like but also all of that that's not just christmas gifts this is like the whole holiday season holiday season yeah and part of me goes okay 875 couldn't we have like stacked up a little money throughout the year to make that

happen i know that's right that's right think about that guys okay so then i read this stat 48 of americans start shopping before the end of october so oh wow people get started early and i'm like okay like that spreads it out a little bit right through at least three months yeah but they're putting on credit cards yes it's going into going on to debt okay so this is the kicker here's the kicker 60 61 percent of people have said and this is very current like as of october 61 percent of people have said hey we're living paycheck to paycheck um four out of ten people are saying man we are worse off this year than we were last year so basically they're saying life is hard right now. Finances are hard right now.

But when asked, they still plan on spending more this year than last year. That for me. And I'm like, wait a minute. Wait a minute. What's happening? And then they come through with the stat that says 74% of Americans say they feel stressed about their money. I'm like, what is happening?

You're making this choice. Yes. Oh, my gosh. See, that's what's funny is I'm like, and it's such a human behavior thing that it's like once you have your mindset to something, you're like, oh, I'm going to do it. Regardless of what the other numbers are saying, I'm going to choose to continue following this plan. And you're just like, wait, no, no, no.

You can stop right now. You can stop and pivot. Ross on Friends with the couch. Pivot. And he's like, pivot. We can all pivot our plans. If your numbers are not adding up like this, and if you're still paying Christmas from last year. Yeah. Let me tell you what I'm hearing in my heart that I know that I know someone is saying I know someone is like Jade the year has been so hard I feel like I can't spend money on anything I just need a little joy I just need a little joy Rachel like I I can't give up Christmas too like I can't let me just go hard on Christmas and then when January 1st comes I'll get back on track and please Rachel don't take Christmas from me i gotta get my gifts

come on i gotta get and what's funny is the gifts let's just be honest some i'm sure really great sentimental things yeah probably a lot of crap for the kids that they're lots of crap they're gonna play with for two days and then they're moving on to the next thing as you pointed out yesterday jade adults don't need gifts shipping gifts around to aunt rita who if aunt rita quote jade needs the blender aunt rita can buy the blender that's right so so really i'm like it's either obligation uh it's because you just always have done it yeah uh i mean like right there's a lot of this in play when you could actually say okay let's just stop let's just stop and reassess what's

what's really happening and we can get our kids some things but it doesn't have to be that much it doesn't have to be that what would happen if you got like a family gift that like the whole like a ping pong table like something that it's one gift like you don't have to spend four and five hundred dollars but it's one gift that the whole family can truly enjoy it brings everybody together like what would that look like especially if you're in debt and you're really trying you know you're still paying off christmas from 2022 right right or beyond like i just feel like there's ways that we can pull back and go like do we want to stay on this hamster wheel that's it yes keep creating debt and or do we want to just do because really usually it only takes one year to like put

that stake in the sand and be like all right this this year is going to be different and you can get so much traction yes from just one time drawing that line and be like this year we're not doing there's something about lived experiences that i think bring us back to what we've always done right it's like it's we know it we're comfortable with it it's just what what we do and so we just go back into what we do and to your point if you change something different this year for christmas like you pull way back or you stop giving gifts out to aunt rita whatever it is and you live through it it gets to be february march and you think oh okay everyone's okay yeah everyone's fine that's right we all survived and i could repeat that again right so like it's almost like you have to go through the actual action of it to assure yourself

you're gonna be okay. Yeah. And everyone else is gonna be okay. That's a word, Rachel, because it really is like, it's like a news cycle. Like when something is really big in the news and it's like the only thing anybody's reporting on and then two, three weeks later, it's crickets.

You never hear about it again. Yes. And I feel like Christmas is that. like right now it's like christmas there's only two paychecks till christmas and by the way there is only two paychecks till christmas and it's like the only thing we can think about but you're so right on december 26th no one cares i know it's over yep yep december 26th it's over and you can go wow okay like that is over now and honestly and call me cheesy but i'm being for real i'm like even just past thanksgiving i'm like and i know thanksgiving doesn't have gifts and all of it but i'm like when i look back with my kids i'm like the memories we have we took bikes to an empty parking lot from a high

school down the road road bikes around the parking lot because caroline can now ride her bike um you know we went on a hike. We did puzzles. I forced my kids to puzzles. Cause I'm 80 years old and I love puzzles. So we did like Christmas puzzles. We watched home alone too. We saw my family.

We had a friend's giving. Everyone brought appetizers and stuff. And we all, you know, had a great night and played a game. And you know what I mean? I'm like, you look back and it's like,

that's the good life. 100%. It's not all the crap that you clean out of your playroom 18 months later. You know what I mean? So that's it. So there's something to be said. Yes, stuff is fun. We are not against stuff on this show. So yes, Santa's going to be bringing a new bike for

one of the children. We're going to be having some fun stuff this Christmas. But yet, what do we all remember we remember the time the time spent and i don't want to seem like a hallmark movie but she's of it but it's just true you guys it's true so that is true don't go into debt like it don't stop just stop it's unnecessary go ride bikes in an empty parking lot with your kids and have an afternoon i mean it might be the first time you've ever done that because Rachel, what you're describing, that is a mindset. And for many, that is a complete mindset shift. Like I was on a webinar the other day about budgeting. And we were talking about, look, if your Christmas budget doesn't allow for it, you may have to cut back. And some of the people

in the chat were saying, oh, we're not having Christmas this year. And like, oh, I guess that does it for Christmas this year. I guess we can't have it. And I'm like, because it equals gifts. Because yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's a mindset shift. Because for a lot of people, Christmas is gifts. And we've never had it any other way. We don't know what it looks like to not have a stack.

You know, everybody posts that stack on Instagram where they're all like stacked up the wall and all the wrapping paper is the same. And'm like whose life looks like that but did i tell you my story about this last year no tell me we i did okay i did that okay i saw everyone posting their pictures i thought it was sweet and we were going to bed that christmas eve you know uh i think santa had come and you know the christmas tree was all it just like it was a sweet picture for me and i took a picture and i did put it on Instagram. I just said, happy Christmas.

Yeah. Merry Christmas Eve, everyone. Hope you're having a great time. Happy Christmas. Yeah. I hope you're having a great Christmas with your family. Jade, the amount of comments underneath that was like, I'm so glad you practice a minimal, a minimal Christmas, Rachel.

Minimalism is at the, all this stuff where I was like, no. Oh, I didn't think we did. Oh my gosh. Winston, did we? So obviously we did oh my gosh Winston did we so obviously we did good it made me feel good that's great because there wasn't a ton but I feel like we got good gifts for our kids anyways it just made me laugh because I was like Winston who knew it we were minimalists didn't even know it and it was a great Christmas so you don't need gifts to have a great Christmas. This is The Ramsey Show.

This is The Ramsey Show. I'm Jade Warshaw, joined by Rachel Cruz. Give us a call. The number is 888-825-5225. Let's go directly to the phone lines where we've got Monica in San Jose, California. Hey, Monica, what's going on? Hi. Thank you for taking my call. So I'm calling because my husband and I bought our first home in the Bay Area in September. I can go into the financial details of, you know, how it all went down, but essentially it was for $1.19 million. $1. what?

$1.19. Okay. Okay. We were able to put $550,000 down. Wow. Nice. Yeah. So, again, if it's helpful, I can go into all the financial details of, like, what the mortgage is, all of that. What's your question?

The question is that we hate the house. Oh. What? Yeah. What changed? Oh, no. Yeah. We're really unhappy.

Shoot. Why? It's just, it's not a great layout for our lifestyle. Not a lot can be done to change it. It's a townhome. So, you know, there's restrictions on what you can do with an HOA. And not only that, it's a three-story townhome. So it's just a big issue around layout primarily. Did you know that going in? Like you didn't buy it sight unseen. Yeah, I know. We did know it, but we, first time homebuyers and I think we really didn't spend enough time on thinking about the home. We were really concerned about whether it was a good financial decision this is like a very competitive area for real estate. So we just we really wanted to be homebuyers.

And like at the end of the day, the question is, you know, we're already here. It's already done. Is it worth it for us to take a loss and try to get out of it as soon as possible? Or should we try to stay? Do you feel like it's going to be a loss and try to get out of it as soon as possible or should we try to stay? Do you feel like it's going to be a loss? Well like my husband is particularly very unhappy here and like I just feel life is really short and it's causing a lot of stress and like financially if you sold it why would it be at a loss well the the the um value of the home is already dipped since we purchased it what's it at now and also of course the seller fee for you know working with a realtor all of that is going, we would definitely take a loss. It's a

matter of how much of a loss. So we're just trying to think through, does it make sense to stick it out? Like how long should, should we try to stick it out before trying to sell it? I gotta be honest, like part of me, like I'm hearing what you're saying and I can tell that it's really bothering you. It's bothering your husband more than you, and that's my that's a little bit of my question is that he's unhappy and he's short and he's not but like I the reasons and look feel free to elaborate but like people calling and they're like oh the guy upstairs is smoking weed or you know my neighbors are violent or there was a murder and, you know, across the street. Like there's, those are the reasons that I'm like, yes,

you need to move immediately. But when somebody is like, oh, I just bought a $1.19 million house and I just don't like the layout. I'm struggling with that. I'm not going to lie. Is there something else that we're, is it far from work? Is there a big commute? Like, is there something else that's really weighing into this that you're not saying? Well, you know, we moved from a home that was in the same community that we were renting and it was fully upgraded and we missed the opportunity to buy that home, like without realtors being involved. So we, you know, it could have been like a directly buying from the owner situation. And so I think like that's really weighing on us and comparing this home to that is really hard

because that was an upgraded home. This is not. And we're going to have to put some money into this home to make it as comfortable as that home was. It's also on a busier street, so it's really loud, and we have a baby, and she's often being woken up due to the... Well, a sound machine can solve that. We can just get one of those white noise machines.

I'm just being flat-out honest with you. I don't know that this is a reason for you guys to move. I think this is a bit of a... And I'm not saying you can't move eventually, but to take a financial loss, does it make sense? Yeah.

Yeah, it doesn't, Monica. I mean, you call it into a financial type show. And so we do look at the numbers of this. And yeah, I mean, it's not. I mean, if you guys have the money and you find something better and you guys just shake hands with each other and say we're gonna take the loss we're gonna call it stupid tax we shouldn't have bought in the first place we're gonna go find something we want you

guys can but financially it's not smart and what's what you have to understand too monica is that there's a there there's a level with this discontentment that can be legitimate. Like, I get that. But also, that level of discontentment and who you guys are still moves with you. And so that is one conversation I would make sure to have with you and your husband to say, OK, we're moving because we don't like the house. And no house is going to be perfect. And the next house we come to is not going to solve all of our problems.

It's not going to be the thing that fixes everything in our lives. And I don't know, does that make sense? Like there's a level of that discontentment that I'm hearing and that can follow you. It's just, it's more so that when someone is deeply unhappy like every single day and it's impacting your well-being to the point that it's that's it though monica why should it be doing that it shouldn't be impacting him because there's three stories like do you know

what i'm like that like that's where i'm like oh there's some stuff happening that's probably more than just the house in his in his life and what's happening I mean like if you're really that unhappy because of a layout of a house then you're you're an unhappy person like there's something else going on yeah I second that I think there's some I mean my husband and I moved from South Florida to here Monica and before we moved we had done everything we had completely renovated our house made it exactly the way we wanted. But then we moved for a job and we moved here. And our house is nice, but it's not upgraded.

It's not the way it was. And I could easily be like, oh, man, like that other house was so much better. And now we're going to have to, you know, renovate this one. And $1.1 million, you know, like there's just some part of that where you do have to take a beat and be like well we have a great home and it's gonna take a while to get it where we want it or we're gonna have to live in this home until we can afford to move to the next home yeah so i guess the question is how long do we need to hold it before it makes sense to sell it our rule our rule of thumb is five years for a house

to kind of ride through the market. Well, we tell people to buy, if you're going to buy a house, make sure you're in it for at least five years. That's usually a good average amount of time for the market to kind of go up and down, all of that. But again, and we're in a weird market, you know. And Monica, hear us say like,

and I always give people this out on this show. Like you're grown. You're a grown up. Like if you're grown. You're a grown-up. Like, if you guys decide we're going to go take a $80,000 hit, then we're going to do that, right? Because you're the one who has to sleep at night. But just hear us say, though, there is other stuff happening that's causing this unhappiness that will follow you. And that would be more of my concern. If we can't be content as a family of where we are.

And again, I understand like, oh, the cabinets are old. Like I get that things aren't upgraded. I understand that. I understand that. But the environment of the emotional environment of the family and of the home, the fact that it is so tilted right now because of a layout in three stories, that worries me. I don't like that so there's a part of me that kind of wants y'all to stick it out and figure out what the real problem

is to have to deal kind of what's with with with where you guys are and I know that's stressful as a wife and all of it um yeah you're in a hard spot Monica and I'm so sorry so again if you guys choose to you know I pulled eighty thousand dollars out of the air i don't know what it'll be then y'all can and you can move but um but if you're asking up from a financial standpoint five years is usually a good rule of thumb from a time frame perspective well it also makes me wonder i'm like okay if they sell this house at a hit they're not gonna they bought what they could afford so what are the chances that they're really going to be able to get anything better than what they already have now yeah you know what i mean so they could afford. So what are the chances that they're really going to be able to get anything better than what they already have now? Yeah.

You know what I mean? So they could, I mean, a better layout maybe, maybe, but it might not be fully upgraded. I don't know. I'm sorry,

Monica. Oh, deeper issues are involved here. 100%. That does it for this hour of the Ramsey show. Join us for the next hour.