The Ramsey Show - App - “It Felt Like I Was Getting Out of Prison”

Episode Date: April 19, 2022

Dave Ramsey & Dr. John Delony discuss: What to do when you disagree with your spouse about money, The value of a Roth 401(k), The logic of getting an expensive masters degree if you plan to stay home with the kids afterwards. Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: https://bit.ly/3nInETX Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6

🎵 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host, Dr. John Deloney. Ramsey Personality, best-selling author, host of the Dr. John Deloney Show, is my co-host today. Today is launch day for his brand-new best-selling book, Own Your Past, Change Your Future, a not-so-complicated approach to relationships, mental health, and mental wellness. We are, of course, taking calls on any of those subjects,

as well as people wanting to talk about doing work that they love or how to get wealth built or generosity, money questions. We're here to help you. The phone number is 888-825-5225. Starting this hour is Charlie in Dallas. Hi, Charlie. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hey, Dave.

Thank you for taking my call. Sure. And, Dr. John, good luck on your the Ramsey Show. Hey, Dave. Thank you for taking my call. And Dr. John, good luck on your book launch. Thank you, good man. Thank you. So I've been listening to you on and off for a few years, and I finally realized I cannot out-earn my spending. And I really want to reduce risk while income is good. And I want to do it fast. And I think I finally understand the gazelle intensity feeling. Um, but I'm afraid my wife isn't quite, um, feeling the same way. Um, I've kind of come up with a plan and she's not a hundred percent behind it. Um, what's your plan? We owe 35, well, we owe 35,000 in back taxes, um, from as far back as 2015. Um, I owe 14, seven this year. Uh, we owe 12,000 on both of our cars, uh, 12,000 each. And, um, I want to basically sell my car

and throw everything we have at the taxes. Um, think that we can be done, actually, in the next three to four months. How did you tell her this plan? Well, we started about January is when I really got serious. And I kind of just realized. Take me and Dave back to the, like, you sat down. How did you announce this plan? I've been asking her multiple times to kind of sit down with me and help me figure out how to create more room in the budget. And then finally we did that, and she got behind it.

And I finally kind of encouraged her. I was like, you know, I think you have some really good ideas usually when it comes to saving money, and you're really helpful in all these ways. And I think that if we can just get on the same page, you know, basically listening to you guys, that, one, I think our relationship will get a lot better. I think that we'll really make some headway here. I tried to tell her that I really needed her help. And, you know, from my understanding or the way I feel, I feel like she's just a little bit worried.

And I don't know if it has to do with past family stuff with her family and money or... How long have you all been married? I've been here with money seven years almost. How many jobs have you had while you were married? This one. How many different plans have you come up with while you were married? Well, and that is, to be fair, and it's never been to pay off the debt. To be fair. We make enough money.

We can do this. We can do that. Because I have a new idea every 20 minutes, and my wife is always like, you're scheming and scamming again, and it sounds like you were getting that speech. Yes. Pretty much. Have you tried this conversation? like you're scheming and scamming again and it sounds like you were getting that speech yes have you tried this this conversation because you came at your wife with a math problem and you came with her at her with an algorithm if we do this and this and this then here's the result everything's great and she's heard that before another way to have this conversation is to sit down one night over a meal and hold

their hands and say i am terrified we're not safe and i feel scared we owe the freaking kgb 35 000 35 grand we have two two cars that we can't afford we have a house we can't afford we're not getting traction terrified we're not getting traction i'm afraid we're going to be old and living on social insecurity if it's even there that's a different conversation than well honey cue up the carnival music i got a new one right that's a totally different conversation and i have been very excited about this hey you're talking to two guys you get excited for a little i mean you know what it's a good thing but what it amounts to is is you have a set of information that has informed

your emotions that there's hope she doesn't have that information yet and her hope button has not been pushed yet because you've got a head start on her you've been listening to the show you've been listening to other people do debt-free screams you've got you've got a legitimate information that has you in a different place than you than that and and so you know i run into that sometimes here in the business and leadership sometimes somebody will come in and sit down and they go okay here's what we're going to do and this person we have to this person here uh you know they're not going to make it we're going to let them go and i'm like whoa stop the train junior you know you got to catch me up you've been working on this for a month you gave me 35 seconds so you got to

spend a minute here catching me up to where i can join you in this or i'm about to put a quash on your idea and so i play the wife in that case in your world but because i don't have the same set of information or emotions that they do from having dealt with this person goofing off or whatever they've been doing inside the business here that they're trying to lead and so if they catch me up with those emotions i might get on board or i might have another idea but we got to get her you know so it's number one we got to get her caught up and just go i think it's a real good thing to go listen i don't have all this figured, and I'm a wee bit excited about this because for the first time I got some hope, and I was previously terrified,

and I'm afraid if we don't do something that is way different than what we've been doing, we're going to keep doing what we've been doing, and that's not going to work. And here's another, number two, I've thrown a lot of hacks at you over the last few years, a lot of schemes and ways to cut corners. My plans don't work. I found a guy's plan that does work for millions of people. over the last few years, a lot of schemes and ways to cut corners. My plans don't work. I found a guy's plan that does work for millions of people. Would you be willing to do his plan with me?

Or would you be willing to look at that plan in detail with me and see what you think of it? That would be okay, too. You're coming at her with humility. Let her get caught up with that. Yeah, because, you know, at least you didn't say, I'm going to sell your car. Yeah. I knew that wasn't an option. Yeah, but gently hey you were close though because you were like you know you got great ideas you would really look good in a uniform if you're out

working you got close man if you were a nurse you would be making some money it let her she'll get there she'll get there when she looks in the eyes of a man who says okay i've had all the plans in the world i've tried and this is me taking a knee and saying my schemes didn't work but i think this will work and it's not my plan it's not my plan and i'm excited about it and would you look at it with me we do with me yeah and um i'll tell you what we're going to help you with this um would you go through a couple of these would you look at it through a couple of these videos with me we're going to put you into ramsey Would you go through a couple of these? Would you look through a couple of these videos with me? We're going to put you into Ramsey Plus as a gift.

And that will put you into Financial Peace University and give you access to the EveryDollarPlus budgeting system, the premium system. And it's all very easy when you do that. But it's kind of like you hear some of these debt-free screams. And you're like, how did you get your spouse on board? Well, we drove to Florida and had to listen to your podcast all the way to Florida. For eight hours, right. And so it's like, oh, after that, they were on board. Who knew?

It's like, I'm trapped in the dadgum car. But they were listening to Dave and these other callers, not you and one of your schemes again, right? Yeah. Just hearing it from somebody else. Pull up some debt-free screams on YouTube and watch them together. Watch their body language. Watch those people's. Watch how light they feel.

How the different, how the position of their shoulders is different. Oh, so beautiful. So beautiful. It's called hope. And it's real.

It's very real. This is The Ramsey Show. In an uncertain world, being a good steward of your money is more important than ever. While some circumstances can't be controlled, there are items within your budget you can take charge of, such as your health care costs. For nearly 40 years, Christian Health Care Ministries, or CHM, has provided a budget-friendly means of sharing for medical bills when our members need it.

Learn more by visiting chministries.org slash budget. That's chministries.org slash budget. Christian's chministries.org slash budget. Christian Healthcare Ministries is a Ramsey Trusted Provider. Well, we heard recently that the pause on the student loans has been extended again. Why don't they just extend it indefinitely? That would be interesting. No, they're not going to do that. They're going gonna extend it until the midterm elections exactly either the midterm or right at the beginning of the four

year yeah this is now this is no longer about economics this is now about politics total politics yeah uh student loans shouldn't be a crushing weight in your life you can be rid of them with the right plan it's a perfect time to work on your student loans. Since they're not causing payments and interest, you can really crush the principal. This is not the time to ignore it just because they told you to. Instead, you should go after it with everything you got right now and get rid of the student loan. Use this wonderful respite from the interest to get some freaking traction. Good time to get into Financial Peace University.

Good time to do this. This course will teach you our proven plan to pay off your student loans and all your debt within just a few months or a couple years, not decades. Millions of people with every type of income, every amount of student loans have done it with Financial Peace University. You can. And when you don't owe anything to anyone, yeah, you will never feel that weight hanging over you again. You don't even realize how much you're carrying until you're not carrying it anymore. Start Financial Peace University for free

at ramsaysolutions.com slash FPU. That's ramsaysolutions.com slash FPU. Financial Peace University. Almost 10 million people have gone through that class now. It has changed a lot of lives. The information there, God's and Grandma's Ways of Handling Money. It'll rock your world. Check it out at RamseySolutions.com.

Kelly is with us. Kelly is in Phoenix, Arizona. Hi, Kelly. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hello. Hey, Kelly. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hello. Hey, what's up? I've got a question for you in regards to a 401k that my employer offers, and it is a Roth 401k. So the question is, my tax guy this year told me that I don't qualify for the Roth part because I make over $75,000 a year.

Not true. Your tax guy doesn't know what he's doing. You don't qualify for a Roth IRA, individual IRA, if you make too much money, but the Roth 401K is available regardless of income. I do one. Me too. And we both make way more than those limits. So it'd be better to keep it as a Roth versus a traditional full, okay?

You bet. Grows tax-free. Tax-free is better than with taxes. Right. Make sense? Well, I always thought the roth you know glue you paid the taxes on what you put in and and uh you didn't so much on what you get out but he explained that you paid in your steer it comes off let me just tell you you're gonna put into your 401k the same amount whether it's a roth or a traditional aren't you correct okay so you did

you went ahead and paid the taxes on the portion you put in if it's in a roth and let me tell you how old are you 36 okay when you are 66 94 of what is in your account will be growth six percent will be what you put in almost all of it is growth when you get to your when you get to the end game and you don't want the growth to be taxed or the best way i could tell you to explain if there's four million dollars in your account two million dollars in your account almost all of that is taxable or not depending on whether you chose roth it's this is really not a hard math problem you simply do not want to pay taxes on it dude well and i i can't think of no better endorsement in in that this is what we do with our money yeah like this isn't a math problem my personal i'm, and it's a Roth because I probably will never touch it.

Yeah. It'll probably be left in an inheritance. I'll probably live out of other money, and I'll just let it continue to grow tax-free until old Dave pushes up a daisy. I mean, just let the puppy grow. And so if I'm 91, 30 years from now, I get tax-free growth all that time, and I don't have RMD. I don't have required minimum distributions when I'm 70 and a half. So you just don't want to do this, dude. You can do whatever you want to do.

And get a new tax guy. You can do whatever you want to do. But if your tax guy is telling you you can't do a Roth 401K, you need a new tax guy. He doesn't know what he's talking about. Eddie's in Philadelphia. Hey, Eddie, welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hey, Dave, Dr. John. Honor to speak with you guys.

You too. What's up? So my question to you is, I'm getting married in about a month and a half, and my fiance just started a very expensive master's degree program, but she also wants to be a stay-at-home mom. I'm not sure how to handle this. Well, why are you waiting until a month and a half before marriage to address something this serious? Well, we have been addressing this. No, we haven't.

It sounds like she has. You haven't. Well, we've both – this has definitely been a point of, I guess you could say contention since we – we've been together for six years. So this master's program started two months ago and we have had extensive conversations about it um but i didn't really want to be the person to hold her back from doing it especially before we were even engaged so i kept my opinion to a minimum because i didn't want to be that person who held her back from her dreams um but

so let me just tell you if you're if the person you love's dream is really a nightmare, you should say something. I completely agree. And we have had several conversations with my parents and her parents about the situation, and we're just not really getting anywhere. What's the program? It's a master's in nutrition degree. Okay. And what in her heart says this is what she wants to do?

Well, there were two questions there. I'm not really sure why it's so expensive, but it costs about $60,000 just for the tuition after her scholarships. It's expensive because people will pay it, but go ahead. Right. Yeah, it's definitely one of the more expensive institutions in the city. And, yeah, that's kind of where we're at. Why does she need this? Why does she want to do this?

Well, the way she was raised, there's always been high value on education and getting that next degree. There are a lot of different reasons why, but she obviously doesn't want to let her parents down. She feels like she's a very smart girl, which she is. And this will kind of be like a status elevation thing. And it's a topic that is just very interesting for her. Those are her reasons for wanting to. So are you all taking out loans for this thing? Are y'all paying for it in cash?

So not yet. That's kind of where the contention's coming to play because I've sat down with her and tried to map out a plan of, okay, who's paying for this? Are your parents going to help? Am I kind of footing the bill for the whole thing? And unfortunately, her parents recently had a split a divorce like two months ago so the age from that side is now kind of in a gray area we're not really sure if they're going to help but i don't really want to be put in a situation where i just get hit with a bill all right so there's two nowhere dave and hop in here there's two big issues here okay issue number one is you're about to marry somebody and y'all have not been able to have very basic low-level conflict agreement conversations i cannot think of a bigger red flag other than she's dating somebody else because this will be a conversation about what

home we buy what neighborhood what schools what, what kids. You'll have this conversation a thousand times. It just happens to be over a degree plan. And I personally, and again, Dave may disagree, it's great. If you have cash for this and you want to get a master's degree to learn about nutrition, knock your lights out.

You can pay for it. It's going to be a joint decision. It's something we're going to do together. And I'm going to use the nutrition info for the kids great if it's for a status symbol then you might as well be buying a porsche that you can't afford and you don't know how anybody's going to pay for right this is the whole thing feels gross and then you don't know who's going to pay for it this whole thing's a mess man and the fact that you guys had to discuss it with both your parents is a weird thing you're about to get married you're grown-ups. But we're not married yet. Well, you're about to be.

You're about to be. You're way down close to the altar to be having this discussion this late and not be in agreement on it. You guys need to sit down with an emergency session with a marriage counselor today. Today, today, today, today. This is like stop the wedding type stuff. This is about communication, less about the degree. It's not about the degree. It's not about disagree with the stupidity of the degree, which, today. This is like stop the wedding type stuff. This is about communication, less about the degree. It's not about the degree. It's not about disagree with the stupidity of the degree, which I do, but that's a side issue.

Yeah. The issue is that you guys do not know how to have a discussion without you ruining her dreams. Let me just tell you, after 40 years, Sharon Ramsey has no trouble ruining my dreams. Thank God, right? If she thinks that they're a nightmare. Right. She has no trouble calling stupid butt ideas stupid butt ideas because she doesn't want to go down with me next time I go do something. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today.

His brand new book on sale today, Own Your Past, Change Your Future, A Not-So-Complicated Approach to Relationships, Mental Health, and Wellness in the lobby of Ramsey Solutions on the Dead Free Stage. Glenn is with us. Hey, Glenn, how are you, man? Hi, I'm good. How are you? Better than I deserve. Nervous.

Where do you live, sir? Cherry Hill, New Jersey. All right, cool. Welcome to Nashville. Thank you. And all the way here to do a debt-free scream. That's right. I've been waiting for this day for the last two years. Well, we're honored to have you, sir. How much did you pay off? $182,272.

Whoa! And how long did that take you, sir? 19 months. Whoa. And your range of income during that time? I started at $135,000 and I'm currently at $220,000. Well, there's a nice jump. What do you do for a living? I'm a video producer for a company in California. Okay. And you went just crazy? How'd you double your income, man? I have a great manager who fights for me and my teammates, and I got two great pay raises, the second one being a promotion. Wow. Good for you.

Congrats. And also, obviously, side hustles. Yeah, you're obviously good at what you do, and you work your butt off, too, huh? I did. I do. Good for you, man. So what kind of debt was the 182 000 oh god uh 9 000 was on a credit card 17 000 was on a stupid car stupid butt car as you would say

the dumbest decision i've ever what was it it was like oh my god i'm so embarrassed it was a chevrolet camaro don't laugh oh it's It's awful. It's a wonderful car to get messed up in. It's Chevy. It's a car for high school tight ends. Go ahead. Yeah. And then the rest, just over $150,000 of student loans, so $58,000 on federal loans and just under $100,000 with Navient.

Oh. You got rid of the evil Navient. Oh, evil. Man. 19 months, man. Yes, sir. I mean, you have lived on nothing and worked all the time. Yes. But you've been, like, completely game on.

Yes. Laser focus intensity. These numbers are amazing. Thank you. You really have been on beans and rice. I'm so proud of you, man. What got you so freaking fired up? Beans, rice, and ramen, I have to say.

I love ramen. Okay. All right. Ramen loves you, man good this is good so what got this whole thing started with you yeah um from 2015 to 2020 i was living in california you know pretty expensive state and then this little thing called the pandemic happened and in march of 2020, my company told everyone to work from home. And so I got scared that California would ban out-of-state travel. So I booked a flight out of California and to New Jersey. And then two weeks of work from home turned into a month. Then it turned into two.

Then three. And eventually I'm still in New Jersey. And I just got cleared to work remotely. Luckily, I travel a lot for my work. So they justified my working from home. And from March to September, I was still sort of Dave Ramsey-ish. I wasn't paying rent anymore. And so I was like, oh, I had all this income.

And then my brother, my younger brother, went on his own debt-free journey and became debt-free in September of 2020. And when he became debt-free, I said, oh my gosh, this is it. It's my turn. And so I became really intense starting September 2020. And the next month, I flew back to California. I moved out all of my stuff from my apartment that I was living in. And that car, that stupid car, I sold it to CarMax gleefully. I sold it.

It was the best feeling it had been sitting there it had been sitting there yeah oh and i was paying for it you're using public transportation in jersey i i i had no car i still don't have a car i've been sharing a car with my parents and um i've been biking to the gym i i really lived on nothing and i lived luckily i lived rent-free with my parents as well so they're they've been great and you make $220,000 a year so now you can go buy whatever you want to. That's right. I love it!

But I'm going to pay for it cash. Absolutely. I know. I know. And I know you are. I know you're done. After this, you're definitely done for life, right? When you're making $220,000 and you have to say, hey, mom, can I borrow the car to go

to the mall? Then you know I'm never doing this again. I wanted all my income to go to my debt so i got i didn't have a car so that meant no gas payment no insurance payment i had the privilege of living rent-free i lived bare bones love i followed your plan and so from september to last month last march i just worked my butt off and not only did i work my main job i worked side hustles i i had a my my mom's friends were ordering cakes for me. I baked in 2020.

I made $3,000 baking. I door dashed in 2021. I did video editing side hustles. I put myself on Fiverr, Facebook, Marketplace, Craigslist. My friends referred me to jobs. And yeah, that's how I made extra income as well on top of my regular job. You just worked all the time. All the time.

So, okay, now you're completely free. Way to go. Thank you. I'm so proud of you, man. Thank you. So what's the next step for you? Now that you're free, you're going to get your own place now?

Yeah, I'm going to get my own place. Obviously, save three to six months of expenses. I'm still on the Baby Steps plan. I have the Financial Peace app, and I follow that religiously. I love it. Well, you're an incredible young man. How old are you?

33. Wow. How's it feel to be free? Oh my gosh. I've never been to prison, but I feel like it's like getting out of prison. That's what it feels like. And I've never had cancer,

but I feel like it's like listening to a doctor say like, you're cancer free. Like it was like financial cancer. Yeah. Wow. Have you had the moment where the paycheck deposits and you don't have any other bills to pay, you keep it all? Well, that technically happened on the 15th of this month, April. But I actually owed taxes.

So April 30th will be my first one where I have literally no payments, and I get to keep all of it. So I'm so excited for that next Friday. Yeah, wow. That's so cool. Good for you, man. Congratulations. Thank you. Very, very powerful.

Very well done. Okay, your little brother did it, and that got you going. And he was doing Ramsey stuff, huh? Yeah, he's an avid listener of yours. He was listening before I was. Okay. Yeah, and that got you turned on. stuff huh yeah he's an avid listener of yours uh he was listening before i was okay yeah and i got you turned on and plus if your little brother does it that's kind of like calling you

out i mean it's like yeah game on so you got you got to do it you can't let a little brother beat yeah he's younger than me but i feel like i follow in his footsteps like he got into weightlifting then i got into weightlifting he got into working out we were both like chubby kids in high school and he started lifting then i started lifting he got out weightlifting. He got into working out. We were both like chubby kids in high school. And he started lifting. Then I started lifting. He got out of debt. Then I got out of debt. Even though I'm older, I fall on his footsteps.

I love it. That's good. Good stuff, man. Well done, brother. Well done. So proud of you. Well, we've got a copy of Baby Steps Millionaires for you. How ordinary people built extraordinary wealth.

You can, too. I think you're definitely going to be a millionaire. Not a question in my mind. And your parents have got to be proud of you. Who were your biggest cheerleaders as you went along? You can too. I think you're definitely going to be a millionaire. Not a question in my mind. And your parents got to be proud of you. Who were your biggest cheerleaders as you went along? Definitely my parents. Every time I paid off a loan, I would show them my Navient app like, hey, this loan's paid off. And I would show them my Financial Peace app. My brother, Kevin, and his fiancee, Melissa, and also my friends, Nadia, Carissa, Katie, Susan. Hey, what was a $150,000 degree in?

A useless communications degree and a film minor. I went to a very expensive private university. Gotcha. I don't even want to say their name. That's okay. We don't want to advertise for them. No. That's right. Well done, Glenn. Good work their name. That's okay. That's fair. We don't want to advertise for them. No. That's right.

That's right. Well done, Glenn. Good work, brother. So proud of you. Incredible. Good stuff, man. And all the way from Jersey to do your debt-free scream here in Tennessee. Very, very, very well done.

Good stuff. As I said, we got a copy of those books for you. We'll get those out to you. Glenn from Cherry Hill, New Jersey. $182,000 paid off in 19 months. All he did was sell everything and have anything that cost him anything, he got rid of it. No more payments, no more insurance, no more tags, no more taxes. Nothing.

No more nothing, and got rid of everything, making $135,000 all the way up to $220,000. Took every job he could get his hands on. That's gazelle intensity. Boys and girls, this is how it's done. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. Three, two, one. I'm debt-free!

I'm debt-free! That's how it's done right there. I love it. Yes! Woo! That's how it's done right there. I love it. Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Excellent job. Man. Powerful.

I do not want to get between that guy and the goal. That's $20,137,000 paid off so far this year with Debt-Free Screams alone. That's a lot of lives changed, Dave. Pretty incredible. So proud of all of you. You people out there are doing it, man. You're the heroes. We're so honored to walk with you.

It's a gift. We're so honored to get to talk to you, to get to meet you. This is The Ramsey Show. Thank you. Our scripture of the day, Ezra 10.4. Rise up. This matter is in your hands. We will support you, so take courage and do it. Babe Ruth said, Yesterday's home runs don't win today's games our question of the day comes from blinds.com find out for yourself why blinds.com

is the number one online retailer of custom window coverings free samples free shipping and with the new promos they run every month you'll save even more use the promo code ramsey to get the best possible deal all right today's question comes from kristin in new york i'm a 25 year old college graduate and i'm employed full-time i grew up in a very affluent family during adolescence it was great but moving into adulthood i've realized that everything i have is because of my parents and their generosity my parents literally pay for everything gas food, food, clothes, phone, insurance. I have no idea how to manage my finances or grow my wealth. In the next year, I want to buy my own home and set myself up for a successful future.

I want to be able to provide a future family with everything my parents provided to me. Where should I begin? It's a great question. would tell you you've already begun because you recognized it the number of people who are 35 or 40 who haven't put this together yet is staggering so good for you for even recognizing whoa i'm out on an island here i don't even know how i got here i love it yeah um it's a little overstated. Everything you have is not because of your parents. You graduated from college, and you're employed full-time. So the last batch of food that went in the refrigerator, you went to the grocery store and bought if you're employed full-time, unless you live with your mom.

Or unless they're just having things delivered or whatever. Wow. Well, I would stop any income coming from your parents. You're 25. You need to financially separate from them. Would you? If you haven't already, but I kind of sense she has. She just means that they set her up. No, I think that she's probably still getting some money.

You think they're still buying her gas? Yeah. What would you think about this? She says my parents literally pay for everything. Yeah. Still, I guess. Yeah. Oh, stop that. You're 25. Think about the conversation of sitting down with your mom or your dad, whoever runs the money, and saying, it's time for me to start learning the lessons.

What are the principles and the rules by which you steward and manage your money? Because I want to learn those. I wonder if that'd be a good – I guess if the response is, don't worry about it. We're taking care of you. Then you know that that's not going to be a good gate in i guess that the response is i don't worry about it we're taking care of you then you know that that's not going to be a good source of wisdom and information but they might sit down and say i'd love to teach you i don't know that's probably where i would start yeah i would do that i'd jump into financial peace university and i think you need a 90-day plan to be completely financially on your own you're 25 and you're full-time employed yeah i love that idea too like start at the baby steps yeah you're 25 and you're full-time employed yeah i love that

idea too like start at the baby steps yeah you're going to be able to expedite them but learn the principles but go ahead and learn how to handle money learn how to do a budget learn how to pay your light bill um and you know you're you're but um you're being treated like you're 12 right not like you're 25 and so in that sense your mom and dad are a little off kilter i bet there's some heavy not strings i bet there are some ropes attached to these relationships it might be or it might be they're just getting tremendous personal satisfaction out of providing everything without thinking about the harm that it is doing because you haven't got any uh muscle tone but to say if i lift all the weights for my son,

then he never feels the pressure of the bar, which is fine, but he never grows any muscle either. Yeah, and so let's pretend that this is an absolute best-case scenario and there are no ropes or strings attached, and your dad and mom are simply just very sweet and very generous people. And that's an absolute best-case scenario. And they're not really drawing some kind of sick psychological income from doing all of this. Okay, that's an absolute best-case scenario.

They're just sweet, generous people. In which case, somebody in this equation, in this story, needs to wake up and go, you're an adult. And that's going to be you. So what she's done. And that's going to be you sitting down with mom and dad and going, guys,'m going to go through this class financial peace university i'd love some input from you guys on how i can be as good as you are someday um and we need to develop a plan where i uh am financially uh sustaining myself that we sever the ties and you quit giving money you quit paying for anything because really within 90 if if you

got a reasonably good job you should be able to pay your own freaking bills absolutely and part of wealth management and legacy management is sitting down with mom and dad when you're 25 and you have your own job and you're all grown up is saying where are the wills and what happens when and who's where's the trust and who runs this stuff, and being able to learn. I've learned from you. You have some hard conversations with your kids and family. Yeah, yeah. But they're not, well, the good news is. They may not be there.

I don't know. I mean, this is just, there's so much, this is so mushy and soft in a bad way. There's no muscle tone. Yeah. Everything's atrophying. So, yeah, Kristen, you've got to call this off. It has to end. And you've got to do it as gently and kindly and firmly as you can.

You're not trying to be disrespectful. It's been a wonderful thing, and I'm very grateful for all you've done. Well, you're just not grateful. No, I'm very grateful, but I'm also 25 i'm like grown and stuff and stuff so i need i'm going to start paying my own light bill and uh surely god their electric bill is her electric bill is not in their name but maybe they bought her a house and they just went ahead and have their name on the deed of the house and they pay the bills she may not be she may be living with them yeah no i want to buy my own home she may you may need to get an apartment that's what your first step and learn

to live on your own learn to buy your groceries learn to pay your bills learn to set the electric bill up on the draft on your checking account learn to do these kinds of things um and you know get all that done before you buy a home i bet she's still living at home yeah that's what's going on so you need to make plans to move out too asap asap as soon as possible because fun things will happen to your uh psychological emotional spiritual development when you're on your own um i mean i noticed that when our kids were no longer under our umbrella that they walked different absolutely there's a dignity to being your own person and you probably noticed they skinned their knees a few times and twisted an ankle that's part of walking on your own right yeah they blew a tire and they figured

it out that's right you know um i don't mind helping them but they figured it out and uh you're not you're not 12 you're 25 it's a different thing so it's good it's a good discussion so hey thanks for thanks for writing this is the first uh reverse debt snowball i've heard you take fpu so you can learn how to deal the money the other way yeah that's right you learn how to handle all this money you got don't know what to do with it heather's in Los Angeles. Hi, Heather. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi.

Thank you for taking my call. I have to say this is an honor. I've listened to you since I was a teenager. Wow. Thank you. How can we help? It was a big deal for me. My husband and I are expecting and also looking to move out of state here in the next six months or so.

When is the baby due? November, the beginning of November. And you want to move right as the baby is due? I know, we're crazy. We're looking to move maybe around September to Arizona, so hoping to miss the really hot part but move and stuff before the baby comes. And you're going to move in the third trimester. This is your first child, isn't it?

Yeah, I know. September's real, real hot in Phoenix. I know. Why the urgency? Well, we live in Los Angeles, which I feel like speaks for itself. We want to get the heck out of Dodge if I'm going to be completely honest. Go now. What about in 30 days? Well, my husband, uh, has not been approved to work remotely yet. And so that's part of what we're waiting for. Also, I'm a swim instructor, so we're

hoping that I can crank out a bunch of swim lessons, make ton of money and then we can move after that um my hope is to be a stay-at-home mom if that's possible um but we want to buy a house and so i'm looking for some insight as to whether or not you think now with the economy is going to be the right time we would have 10 to put down uh which is not as much as I'd like. Yes, we are on Baby Step 3B. If you're buying a home financially and you're debt-free and you put down a reasonable down payment and your payment is no more than a fourth of your income on a 15-year fixed, that's okay.

However, most people don't make really, really great decisions in their third trimester. And moving in your third trimester as a father of three sounds like a really dangerous idea. I might wait until January, first of December. Up to you. That puts us out of the Ramsey Show and the books. We'll be back with you before you know it.

In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace. Christ Jesus. Hey, it's John Deloney, co-host of The Ramsey Show. Did you know over 18 million people listen to The Ramsey Show every week? A lot of those people listen on one of our 600-plus radio stations across the country. To find a station near you, go to RamseySolutions.com slash show.