The Ramsey Show - App - It's Time to Enjoy the Spoils of the Battles You Have Won! (Hour 1)

Episode Date: February 25, 2021

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Music Music Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, best-selling author, is my co-host today. He's also the host of the Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, best-selling author, is my co-host today. He's also the host of the Dr. John Deloney Show on podcast, and it is exploding! Hockey stick up and to the right. The numbers are scary.
Starting point is 00:00:58 It's probably surprising to some of your friends how popular you are. It's distressing. It's distressing. It's distressing. You are the answering questions about life and about relationships. And we'll throw those in with the money questions today, folks, since he's sitting here beside me. We both like getting into the boundary questions and the questions about spouses and relationships and crazy brother-in-laws and all that crap. And the phone number is 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225.
Starting point is 00:01:31 Let's start with Maria this hour in Chicago. Hi, Maria. Welcome to The Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave. Very excited to talk to you. Thank you so much. Sure. My question is this.
Starting point is 00:01:43 It's going to be, well, I guess I'll ask the question first, and then I'll give you the background. Sure. My question is this. It's going to be, well, I guess I'll ask the question first and then I'll give you the background. Okay. Is it financial, just financially speaking, not regarding how I feel about homeownership, just financially speaking. I'm 58 years old. I have no debt. I have fully funded emergency fund. I have fully funded retirement, both Roth and 401k. How much? I own my, how much is in it? There's about a million in it. Okay.
Starting point is 00:02:12 Good for you. Well done. Between the both. I raised my four kids. They're all out of college. I'm single and my home's worth about 350 and I paid it off. It's paid off. Okay.
Starting point is 00:02:24 Taxes are really high in Illinois. I heard the rumor. Okay. But anyway, so I think I want to downsize because I don't need my house anymore. Cool. And I'm not... So I would go to like a townhouse. Okay.
Starting point is 00:02:39 So just financially speaking, would it be a really bad idea for the next 30 years for me just to rent? And the reason why I ask that is because in my heart, I've had so much responsibility in my whole life, raising my four kids, keeping up with my house. I wouldn't mind just writing a check every month and just be done. But everybody's telling me, like, financially speaking, you could sell your house for $350,000, go buy something for $350,000 or less. I'm like, but then I thought, you know, then I thought I'd worry about the house again, the windows, the roof, the gutters, all that, you know? That question make sense? No, yeah, it makes a lot of sense. I understand.
Starting point is 00:03:20 So did you raise your kids by yourself? Are you a single mom? For the most part. I mean, I was divorced when they were very, very young. So for 20 years you've been a she-bear out here fighting, scratching, clawing, and you've cleaned the gutters. You've done whatever it took, and you're just tired. Yes, I work overtime every month at work.
Starting point is 00:03:40 I thought you were that girl. I thought you were that girl. You sound like that girl. you sound like a warrior a warrior princess um so uh well let's first answer your question then let's try to look for a solution okay the problem with your the good part about your theory is you don't have to screw with stuff because the landlord does so you get all this stuff out of your life the bad part about this is think about what rents have done in the last 30 years and think about what they're going to do during the 30 years that we're talking so if you rent instead of owning a paid for property going into retirement
Starting point is 00:04:23 you're destabilizing your life because every year your housing cost is going to go up. True. So that's why it's a bad plan. It's not a bad plan to rent for a short period of time while you're rearranging things or you're in a transitionary stage or something like that, but renting for 30 years means you are a victim of the real estate market instead of riding the wave. Can I throw something else at you?
Starting point is 00:04:50 Yep. Okay, so I put down on paper, because this has been stressing me out. I put down on paper my taxes versus all my bills in my house. Oh, I think you need to move. Okay, but I even projected costs if I was in a townhouse. Yeah, here's what I want you to do. Here's what I would do if you were my little sister and you're old enough to be my little sister, okay?
Starting point is 00:05:13 Oh, I'm not your older sister? No, I'm 60, so I got you beat. Okay. But so I would tell you, you don't want to work on crap and you don't want crap breaking and you are a millionaire. So you need to go buy a brand new condominium where someone does all the exterior maintenance and every appliance and everything inside is brand freaking new. You earned it. You're a rock star and you need to enjoy a little bit of this money and it's like buying a really nice car that's in really good shape after you've been driving a freaking beater
Starting point is 00:05:51 and it breaks down all the time and you know my cars don't break down now back when i had crap cars because i was trying to get here they broke down all the time but you're a warrior girl and you need to you need to enjoy the spoils of the battles that you have won and that's a million dollars and a 350 000 paid for house you're worth a million and a half dollars i want you to sell this house i want you to buy a 350 000 condo you may want to move uh to an area that is that probably might feel a little bit like it's a little too richy-rich for you, but you need to live there anyway. Wow. Okay.
Starting point is 00:06:32 I'll think about this. Thank you. Very good information. Thank you. What do you think, John? Yeah, I think that transition, when you're a single mom, when you're raising kids, and you're putting them through college, and you're saving, and you're working, and you're doing overtime, it's kind of like being gazelle intense for 20, 30 years
Starting point is 00:06:46 and suddenly your identity is I'm a sprinter, I'm a fighter. That's what I do. Yeah. And how do you settle back down? You can hear it like, man, for someone who's accomplished what she's accomplished, the fact that this decision is keeping her up means it's not about this decision. It's about I've got to shift gears and become something else, right? That's a big big
Starting point is 00:07:05 transition yeah what do you do when you come home from a 20-year campaign on the road with alexander the great and you're one of his soldiers after 20 years how do you stop fighting and scratching you will pick fights with your neighbors, with your dog, with everybody. How do you stop it? And that's what she is. She's a warrior princess. That's right. And so, you know, these single moms, man, they get her done.
Starting point is 00:07:34 These are some of the toughest people on our planet. And so, yeah, that's who she is. And she's like, you know know she's kind of telling herself good things like I deserve a rest that's right and Dave we talk a lot about
Starting point is 00:07:49 people making decisions out of stress or out of anxiousness that's very similar to making decisions out of exhaustion I'm just
Starting point is 00:07:57 I'm done I'm out right I just want to I know the math is bad I know it's going to destabilize me 20 years from now
Starting point is 00:08:02 I'm exhausted I don't want to fix anything else. I'm exhausted. I don't want to talk to any more freaking repairmen. I've talked to people who get divorced because I'm just tired of it. Right? So I love your idea of, man, right now it feels good. It's not going to be good down the road.
Starting point is 00:08:17 No, it's a bad long-term plan. I would buy something brand. And investigate the builder and make sure it's an incredibly high-end high quality builder so you are living in a luxury situation in terms of the service you're going to be provided as well as the goods love it you've earned it you're a millionaire way to go this is the ramsey show This is the Ramsey Show. Folks, listen up. I know some of y'all are putting off getting life insurance because rates went up,
Starting point is 00:09:02 restrictions were added due to COVID, but it doesn't change your responsibility to take care of your family. Lucky for you, insurance companies are lowering their rates again, and there are more options than ever to let you skip the medical exam. Yes, it's actually easier than it was before all this mess, so now is the time to get it done. If you don't have term life insurance or not enough, you need to take the step, take care of this, and let the team at Zander Insurance help. I've used and recommended Zander for over 20 years because they shop the top term life companies to find you the best rates, and they keep coming up with new ways to make the whole process faster and simpler. Apply online or over the phone.
Starting point is 00:09:41 Sign with electronic or voice signature. No exams. It just doesn't get any easier. Go to Zander.com or call 800-356-4282. It really is time co-host today. So if you have questions about life, relationships, mental health questions as well, challenges even, give us a call. Anxiety, depression, all these kinds of things show up here they show
Starting point is 00:10:26 up on the dr john deloney show all the time as well it's got a wonderful best-selling book out one of our quick reads it's an 80 page quick read called redefining anxiety and of course you can email john if you want to have your question answered on the dr. John Deloney Show. If you want to be on his podcast, it is a talk radio type podcast format like this is. So email askjohn at ramsaysolutions.com. Askjohn at ramsaysolutions.com. Or you can leave a voicemail at 844-693-3291. Or you can get in by calling right now. 888-825-5225. The lines are full, but we'll get you in as quick as we can.
Starting point is 00:11:09 Our question of the day comes from Blinds.com. Find out for yourself why Blinds.com is the number one online retailer of custom window coverings. You get free samples, free shipping, new promos all the time, and always use the promo code Ramsey. It's magical. It'll save you money. John, our question. Today's question comes from Josephine in Nebraska. What a great name.
Starting point is 00:11:30 We're on Baby Step 2 with about $20,000 in debt left to pay off, which will take about 18 months. I had an opportunity to pick up a side hustle that's in my sweet spot that would allow us to shave off at least nine months off Baby Step 2. When I told my husband about this, his first response, oh boy. Can you even, I can't imagine saying this to our wives. Can you read it? Can you even read it?
Starting point is 00:11:53 His first response was, then I'll have to do everything around the house. So in order to avoid an argument, I declined the job. Now the same opportunity has been offered to me again. I spoke to him about it and get the same response. How do I deal with this selfishness? Two before. I was going to say I think my wife would stab me in the
Starting point is 00:12:14 forehead. With a fork. I mean come on. Good God what a child. What an immature I don't know man. What a child. Little boy. Yeah. You're going to little boy yeah i you're gonna be miserable gonna be miserable dude until you wake up and learn how to serve other people our greatest joy comes in serving others it is a paradox right it doesn't sound like it but you're you're gonna
Starting point is 00:12:40 be most happy young man when you learn to serve. And by the way, this woman is not going to... You're going to be doing everything around your house in short order, my brother. Yeah, because you're going to be the only one there, buddy. The only one there. Or you may not be living. Yeah, one of the two. Ducked fork in your forehead. You've never been duct taped to something when you're asleep?
Starting point is 00:13:06 Oh, my gosh. Josephine, you got, I mean. Yeah. When you're dealing with someone this immature, this unwilling to hear your heart on a number of different things, man, because this is bigger than just paying off debt. This is about. It's bigger than housework. Yes, man.
Starting point is 00:13:21 This is about you finding yourself. Everything's about him. Okay. Okay. housework yes man this is about you finding yourself everything is about him okay uh here's now all now that we've vented and uh are mad at the little wuss um let's talk how do you actually fix this i would say if you're not in a good church and there are good churches and there are toxic messes but find a good church where the people are healthy mentally spiritually emotionally find an older couple and get them involved in your life and that guy in that older couple will take your
Starting point is 00:13:53 husband out in the backyard and splain things to him splain things don't you think yeah i mean or get a good pastor involved or even get to a marriage counselor. Now, Junior Birdman here is not going to marriage counseling because he's too cool for school. That's right. But you need to go and learn how to talk to him about how this is going to end up for him. Because my experience with this stuff, John, and I don't have the PhDs and all this other stuff. I've just watched it too often, even in our friends group over the years. You know, you go through the stages of everybody's getting married then everybody's having kids then everybody's getting divorced that's right and so you know and i've done a lot enough financial coaching over the
Starting point is 00:14:34 30 years that i see this ladies in particular and i don't know it's not sexist i think it's um they they they boil until they reach a point and then when the switch flips it's off they're done right you can't get them back you can't reel it back in guys will kind of go out there and then come back and back in right but um you know once she flipped once her switch flips uh junior birdman you're in trouble yeah because you will have lost her she will not be you cannot retrace these steps right because she will put up with this and i don't want first i didn't want to order our argument now she's out like saying it out loud how do i deal with this selfishness and then this just continues and he doesn't get better she's gonna have enough and
Starting point is 00:15:19 there's nobody can talk her out of it there's no amount of bible teaching about divorce that's gonna work she's just gonna be done because somebody for the second time has told her i value you and i'd like you to come join us right and somebody in her childhood didn't tell her that this guy surely didn't tell her that and this is bigger than a job this is somebody saying hey man i see something valuable in you so much come join us and that's what somebody says no to, right? That's what somebody says. I'm going to go towards where somebody values me, right? And so, Josephine, you've got to get somebody else that you can talk to about this, because there's bigger stuff here. But at the end of the day, you're going to have to have, Dave, you said it, I'll say
Starting point is 00:15:57 it in a nerdier way, you're going to have to have your or what conversation, and you've got to have somebody with some wisdom before you do that. Otherwise, you're going to react. I don't want it to build up i want you to get some tools to let this to to by incrementally increase the heat under him instead of you just increasing the heat inside of you and you finally just blow up and the switch flips and you're done right because that's that's what this is i i see this a lot. Yeah, and I don't, I understand when the switch flips, right? When you're dealing with this type of immaturity, I get it. I'm already done with it.
Starting point is 00:16:34 We got one sentence, right? And we're already through with them. We can't even get through the dead come email. Good for you, Josephine. But yeah, man, can you imagine Dylan sharing this? I'm just trying to think of St. Sheila. Oh, you don't even want to think about how a hillbilly
Starting point is 00:16:47 woman would react to that. That would not be good. I'm just saying. She would give you a look that would say, like, chapters. No, my skin would peel off like Indiana Jones 2. It would just all blow off. It would melt down. Your eyes would blow out of your head. Yeah, like when they touch the Ark
Starting point is 00:17:04 of the Covenant, man. Yeah, Josephine, I'm so sorry, man. And whoever this, guys, if your wife comes to you and says, hey, I've got an opportunity to help. I want to help, too. Let your first response be awesome. It's going to be some stuff we've got to figure out, but let's figure it out. We'll work on this together. It does mean I'm going to have to pick up got to figure out, but let's figure it out. We'll work on this together. It does mean I'm going to have to pick up all the houseworth,
Starting point is 00:17:30 but let's talk about this. You know, that's one way to answer this. It's like, I like sitting on my butt in the recliner. Man, I'll tell you what. We do have a manhood crisis in America. Real men know how to serve. And vacuum.
Starting point is 00:17:46 And vacuum. That's serving. I know. It's one thing. Especially when it's your dirt on the floor, moron. Golly, dude. I don't do the dishes. Yes, you do.
Starting point is 00:17:57 They're yours. William's in New York City. Hey, William. What's up? William. William hung up. William's married justine hi yes i'm here i'm sorry i was on mute oh that's okay my fault how can we help dave pleasure for having me i appreciate it um so just kind of sum it up i'm 27 i make about 7070K a year plus stock incentives. I contribute about 6% to a Roth 401K. I've been doing it since day one. I also commit 10% to stocks via our employee purchase program, which has a 15%ount, which is great. They all do. I have about 10 in private.
Starting point is 00:18:45 I had about 15. Sorry, I had about 25 in credit card. How much do you have in employee stock? Currently about 15 grand. Cash it out and pay off your debt. Cash it out and pay it off? Yep. Okay.
Starting point is 00:19:02 And, dude, I wouldn't be putting that much money into that. A 15% discount is not that much. Go back and pull your company stock and pull the charts on it and look how much it moves in a 12-month period of time. You'll see 15%. So your little discount could go away and evaporate in about 13 seconds. So I'm not playing single stocks, and I'm going to use that money and get out of debt, build your emergency fund. is my co-host today.
Starting point is 00:20:06 On the debt-free stage in the Ramsey Solutions Lobby, Tori and Kayla are with us. Hey, guys, how are you? Hey, how's it going? Welcome, welcome. Where are you all from? Dallas. Oh, welcome to Nashville. Very cool.
Starting point is 00:20:19 And all the way up here to do a debt-free scream. We got it. How much have you paid off? $140,590.88. Well done. How long did that take? Three years, 11 months. Wow.
Starting point is 00:20:34 And your range of income during that time? Started at about 90, and we got it all the way up to 175 that last year. Wow. That's impressive. So what kind of debt was the $141,000? Mostly student loans. We had about
Starting point is 00:20:51 120 in student loans. The rest was just miscellaneous credit cards, car, personal loans. The normal stuff. You're just normal. How old are you guys? I'm 32. I'm 30. How long have you been married? Four years. Almost five. Okay. were just normal how old are you guys i'm 32 i'm 30 okay how long you been married four years almost five years in june okay so faster than that man so this started this started uh
Starting point is 00:21:13 right after you got married then yes right after yeah so what was the story what got you going well back in college uh one of my roommates he gave me your book. And so I read it. It's the fastest book I ever read. And I was just fired up after that. And so I come to her. I can't remember if it was immediately after I read it, but sometime I came to her like, man, look at this. We got to do this. We're going to do this. And she's kind of like, duh.
Starting point is 00:21:43 I always planned on doing that. So after that, we just got started. A couple months after I read the book, put a plan in place and got started. So you got married and went after it. Yep. And really didn't have to talk anybody into it. Didn't have to talk anybody into it. She was just waiting for you to come to your senses. I guess so.
Starting point is 00:21:58 Yep, exactly. Man, well done, you guys. My college roommates didn't give me books. They gave me all kinds of other stuff and not books. Good for you, man. It's funny because when I opened the book, he had question marks everywhere as if he was questioning everything you said. He was studying finance, so I guess he was. Ah, okay.
Starting point is 00:22:17 Yeah, well, finance professors either love me or they hate me. Yep. And so they, well, anyway, we'll move on from that. So what do you guys do for a living? I'm a speech therapist. Awesome. Yep. And during that four years, I was a teacher, but now I'm self-employed.
Starting point is 00:22:31 Okay. Very cool. I love your sweatshirts. Did you have those made, or is that a thing I don't know about? Be intentional. Yeah, my mom made them. Be intentional. Yep.
Starting point is 00:22:39 Okay. Because it's all about this journey you've been on then. That's it. Yep, intentionality. No one wins by accident. Not at all. It's an intentional series of steps, and you've been doing it for three years and 11 months. Yep, and that's just poured over into everything in our lives, you know, from work to our marriage, just doing everything on purpose.
Starting point is 00:22:59 You've got to do everything on purpose. It's just been our motto. I like that. Yep. Do everything on purpose. Wow, that's so good. It's just been our motto. I like that. Do everything on purpose. Wow, that's so good. I just saw a thing flash up on YouTube.
Starting point is 00:23:10 You've got several of these t-shirts. Yeah. I saw a picture fly by. Okay, there it is. Yeah, good. You may have a whole clothing line going here for you. I'm going to go buy one after the show. I like that.
Starting point is 00:23:21 There you go. I like that. Very cool. Well done, you guys all right how many of your peers your friend group coming straight out of college getting married thought you were nuts and how many of them are cheering you on they didn't really say if they thought we were nuts they weren't that brave they didn't but but't. But I don't think it was that. I think, you know, everybody, for the most part, was very supportive, which helped us out because we wanted to do the things they were doing and, you know, buy the house straight out of college and things like that. But, you know.
Starting point is 00:23:58 But you didn't. We didn't. We rented. We're still renting. We're in the process of buying our first home now. Yeah, good for you. It was hard, but, you know, I think for the most part, they were pretty supportive. They didn't tell us if they weren't. What about you, Kayla?
Starting point is 00:24:13 You got any good stories on that? I don't think so. Yeah, everyone was really supportive. Yeah. There's no one who was like, what in the world? We don't think this is the right thing to do. They were all supportive. Yeah. There's no one who was like, what in the world? We don't think this is the right thing to do. Okay. They were all supportive.
Starting point is 00:24:26 Did either of you ever have moments where the other one had to pick you up because it was getting hard? Man, I really need another car. I really want to go out tonight. Oh, my God. Our cars. Our cars. We just started on those cars, man. It got to the point where I was like, man, forget this.
Starting point is 00:24:41 That's part of the story where we had the one of the most important things i think was you know we have to really define our why because our why is what really kept us going and what's your why our why you know change our family tree when i read that book you know i saw what could be and it just sparked hope and like you said hope deferred makes the heart sick and we were we once you have hope anything's possible and i feel like we're unstoppable we're unstoppable now we can do anything i feel like we can do anything you definitely are you know so wow well done way to go you guys very cool excellent work excellent work okay what's the story on this income going from 90 to 175 in three years yeah well we were
Starting point is 00:25:21 like i said we were teachers i was we were both in education. And I started, there's an online platform for freelance work. So it's an app. You can just go on and hire anybody you want for anything. So I started doing everything you could on there. Like Tackle or something like that? Exactly. It's like that. It's called TaskRabbit.
Starting point is 00:25:39 So I was scrubbing toilets. I was helping people move. I was painting. I was doing everything I could. What was the thing you did that made the most money for the shortest time? When I first started, it was cleaning, which I wish it wasn't, but that's what it was. But now, I do a lot of mounting TVs. A year and a half ago, I didn't know how to do any of it.
Starting point is 00:26:00 My dad, he's got his own home repair business, so he's taught me a lot on YouTube. Okay. If I didn't know how to do it of it. My dad, he's got his own home repair business, so he's taught me a lot in YouTube. Okay. If I didn't know how to do it, I YouTubed it. Okay. And then you go in and act like you knew how and did it. Exactly. All right. I like that.
Starting point is 00:26:13 That's gutsy, man. That's exactly right. And I know you've missed being in the classroom this past year, huh? Oh, my gosh. Wow. It's been a tough year for teachers, huh? It's been tough. Some of my teacher friends, they just told me, you got it at the right time. It's been a tough year for teachers, huh? It's been tough. Some of my teacher friends, they just told me, you got it at the right time.
Starting point is 00:26:26 It's been real tough. And speech pathology, that's a tough gig, man. It is. Working with little ones? Elementary. I've got the, kind of like a teacher, basically. It's also rewarding, though, isn't it? It's very rewarding.
Starting point is 00:26:38 You're changing family trees there, too. Absolutely. That's so important. I miss my kids, but, you know, I think I'm going to stay where I gonna stay where i'm doing yeah well you're killing it you guys are doing so good so what do you tell people the key to getting out of debt is you did it you paid off 141 000 in three years and 11 months be intentional basically i like the shirt dave yeah i think the main thing is you gotta you you know we we talk we dream all the I mean, our date nights was riding around neighborhoods and houses that we wanted to live in. And we still do it to this day.
Starting point is 00:27:10 I like that. You know, so. Dairy Queen. Who was our date spot? That's our Dave Ramsey date. Okay. Hey, dip cones, baby. All day.
Starting point is 00:27:19 There it is. Dip cones. So, but yeah, just I think having your why, like I said earlier, you've got to have a why. And it has to be defined in HD, like Chris Hogan says. And I've got to put it on the fridge and just reminding yourself all the time. Because if it gets hard, when it gets hard, it's going to get hard, very hard. I'm not going to lie, it sucked. Winning is not hard.
Starting point is 00:27:42 The price you pay to win is what's hard. Exactly. It sucked. That's excellent. You know, we you pay to win is what's hard. Exactly. It sucked. That's excellent. You know, we just kept reminding ourselves of that why and stayed with it. I love the driving around looking at houses you want to be in someday. Yep. The together.
Starting point is 00:27:54 Together. Doing that together. And that's a big deal. That's kind of like, you know, like Chris Hogan talks about dreaming in HD. Yep. That's it. And there it is right there. 3D HD in front of you.
Starting point is 00:28:04 You know, it's real. It's really happening. So, well done. We got a copy of Chris's book for you, Everyday Millionaires. That is the next chapter in your story, without a doubt. Absolutely. Very, very well done. Tori and Kayla, Dallas, Texas, $141,000 paid off in three years and 11 months, making $90,000 to $175,000.
Starting point is 00:28:23 The key is be intentional. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. Three, two, one. We're debt-free! We're debt-free! Love it! Yeah, baby! Man, so cool.
Starting point is 00:28:42 Coming out of school, the first thing they do, the first order of business, is set this pattern in their relationship that's going to work in every other area of their relationship going forward. They set a success pattern up here. It's unbelievable. And I did the exact same. I got out of school and was in more debt after my first year of working than before because I wasn't intentional, I was an idiot,
Starting point is 00:29:06 and I was trying to keep up with the Joneses. I don't even want to talk about it. I got you beat, so there you go. Not these guys. These guys were rock stars. Not Tori and Kayla. On purpose. Boom! This is The Ramsey Show. Thank you. How would you like to work on something that causes Toria and Kayla to be able to change their lives?
Starting point is 00:30:00 That's what we do here at Ramsey Solutions. We transform lives. We want to transform so many that disruption starts spreading like wildfire across our country. Imagine a day where it's weird to have a student loan, where it's weird to borrow money to buy a car, where the credit card has been declared the cigarette of the financial industry, where you do work that you love, where you know how to get along and do relationships because Dr. John Deloney has intersected with his information, your life, and it's changed everything.
Starting point is 00:30:33 Imagine being part of causing that level of disruption with the work you do. Well, that's what we do. We got about 1,000 folks here. We are adding 360 this calendar year. We're just finishing up another building next door to put everybody in. And if you want to join this crusade, we're currently on the hunt for software engineers, Ruby on Rails, Java, C Sharp, front-end technologies, UX designers, SEO folks, content folks, marketing specialists, digital marketing specialists, and a lot of other stuff.
Starting point is 00:31:03 If you are a senior developer, I can promise you we want to talk to you. We want to talk to everybody, though. If you want to find out about the jobs that are available, and you want to do work that actually matters, and you want to actually go home at 6 o'clock or 5 o'clock rather than work 80 hours a week, we don't work 80 hours a week. We go home with our families. Find out about the jobs available at davramsey.com
Starting point is 00:31:25 click the dave's hiring tab on the right hand side of the page that just reminded me man when i was a kid in college they used to tell us you know 80 of the jobs that y'all will work one day don't exist yet all those things you just rattled off you don't know what they even are right and i only know what they are in the last 36 months so because i've had to learn as the ceo otherwise because i was like we're paying 225 000 a year for what exactly for something exactly what do they do you know and so you start finding out oh that's what they do yeah okay i Okay, I get that. That makes sense. Wow. Open phones here at 888-825-5225. John is with us. John is in San Diego.
Starting point is 00:32:12 Hi, John. How are you? Hi, how's it going, Dave and John? It's a pleasure to talk with you guys. You too. What's up? So, my mother is getting a, what would you call it? A, um, a gift from my grandmother selling her house and she's about to receive probably around $150,000 and she wants to use that to
Starting point is 00:32:37 buy a house here. And basically the problem is my father's kind of hesitant because he's been burned in the past. We lost our house back in the 08 crisis, and he's just afraid of, like, basically something happening in the future and not being able to hold on to the house, basically. That's understandable. So what's the question? So he actually wants me to co-sign with him because my mother is actually getting back to work. He feels that his credit isn't up to a certain amount that would get him the loan, even with the 20%. Yeah, no. Yeah, no way.
Starting point is 00:33:23 No, you don't co-sign for anyone ever think about what you just asked you asked my dad is so scared that something bad's gonna happen again that this time he wants to attach me to it right yeah that's why i wasn't sure about doing that yeah no you're super sure you know it's just hard when your dad says hey man i'm so scared that i'm going to drown i want to chain myself to you so if i drown you drown too how about that and i know that's not what he's saying at all but it is actually what he's saying that's what he's going to do yeah it's not what he meant so the answer is no yeah it is not good for him
Starting point is 00:33:59 and it's not good for you to co-sign if they are not in a position to buy a home they need to do the things they need to do to get in a position to buy a home now we can alleviate your dad's fears of buying a home and something bad happening you're not going to lose your home your own it's very rare for you to lose your home if you have an emergency fund of three to six months of expenses and you have no other debt but the home and you buy a home where the payment's no more than a fourth of your take-home pay on a 15-year fixed rate now those are ramsey guidelines on buying a home and if he does all of that which i suspect since his credit sucks that he has debt and he has some outstanding bad debt doesn't he actually he Actually, he's getting out of Baby Step 2. I think he only owes about $3,000 on his car.
Starting point is 00:34:48 Okay, then he had some old bad debt. He did. He had some back taxes and other debt. And that's all paid now? Yes. Good. That's great. Well, let's get six months of expenses built up
Starting point is 00:35:02 or hold that back out of the $150,000, one of the two. And it's okay if he sits there and rents for six months to a year with absolutely zero debt except that rental. His credit will start to heal. But I would never tell anyone to co-sign. I have co-signed for people and had the opportunity to pay the bill. The reason a bank wants a co-signer is because they don't think the main signer is going to pay. It's always a signal to me when a business tells me I won't take your money. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:34 Right? I love loaning money, but not to this guy without your help. Right? Instead of it being an insult, it should be a signal. Right? There you go. That's it. And you're not being disloyal to your dad.
Starting point is 00:35:47 As a matter of fact, quite the contrary, you're being loyal to him. Because here's what's going to happen. You're going to move on with your life five or six years. They're going to move on. Everything's going to be okay. You're on this stinking loan, and you decide it's time to buy a house because you got married or you and your wife currently go decide to buy a house. And guess what?
Starting point is 00:36:02 You can't because you have this contingent liability called a co-signature on his it's going to bring you down keep you from buying a house or every time he pays late you know what it does it dings your credit or he gets sick and can't work and suddenly you are having to work to pay his house payment because it's your house payment because you signed for it too proverbs 13 or it's not proverbs 13 17 proverbs 17 18 says one lacking in sense cosigns for another that's the new king james version if you read the contemporary english version it says it is stupid to cosign it's exactly what it says i thought that was the dave ramsey no it's a contemporary version. It's a real version of the Bible. It says it's stupid to co-sign.
Starting point is 00:36:48 Huh. Yeah. Because of the whole premise is you're going to end up paying it. I don't know a family that doesn't have some sort of discord in it because somebody signed for a student loan, somebody co-signed for a car. Somebody borrowed money from grandpa whatever i mean this is this this in this incestuous handling of money is uh it's it's just a disaster please don't do it john i know you're i know i know you want to do good by your dad but just smile be kind be loving to dad i love you i love you and i want good things for you i'm and and me being on this
Starting point is 00:37:23 loan is not a good thing for you or me um i'm going to be your biggest cheerleader i'm so proud of what you've done getting these debts paid off and being on baby step two encourage him but don't co-sign for him and parents that would agree that would be the same thing for your children kids in that situation no but the opposite is don't co-sign for your kids no no a house. No. You know, I'm trying to help my little baby get a house. Yeah. Leave your grown children to be grown. Yes.
Starting point is 00:37:53 It's a novel idea, helicopter. And so you have heard this term. I'm speaking. Coleman and I were talking about this yesterday, I guess. I've got a friend that works in the education field, coaching school administrators and teachers and so on. And she said, we were at dinner, and she was telling us, she said, you know, there's all these new terms now. She said, you know what a helicopter parent is?
Starting point is 00:38:19 Oh, yeah, I definitely know what a helicopter is. They fly in, you know, pick up, you know, take care of everything. Take care of everything, yeah. She said, do you know what a lawnmower parent is? Do you? No, I do not. I've not heard that. What is that? I have not.
Starting point is 00:38:29 It's a true thing, though. What is it? They cut the grass out in front of them so that they don't have any hard times. Assuring that they will never know how to handle hard times. Not if, but when they come. Assuring they never know how to walk through tall grass. Wow. No, I've never heard that before.
Starting point is 00:38:45 Lawnmower parents. Lawnmower parents. Lawnmower parents are the next step after you're a helicopter parent, and it's continuing to deteriorate. So the greatest... These are all these great phrases for codependent! The greatest parenting thing was my wife. I went to help Hank. I told him to fall down, and she said, he's going to fall down. Once. And that was my wife. I went to help Hank. I told him to fall down and she said he's going to fall down. Once. And that was the greatest. Like, let
Starting point is 00:39:08 him fall. Then he won't climb back up on that anymore. She's so wise. She's tough. Tough. That puts this hour of the Ramsey Show. You can listen to all our shows with the Ramsey Network app on your smartphone. Browse by topic or even send clips to your friends. Download the Ramsey Network app in your favorite app store today.

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