The Ramsey Show - App - Life Happens — Don’t Let It Wreck Your Finances

Episode Date: August 14, 2025

📈⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Are you on track with the Baby Steps? Get a free personalized plan.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruze answer your questions and discuss: "How do I financially plan for a marital separation knowing my husband is an addict?" "Have I overcomplicated my finances?" "Am I holding myself back by staying with my boyfriend?" "Should I still be the co-owner on my 33-year-old unmarried son's bank accounts?" "Our landlord gave us 30 days to move out. Should we just finance a camper and live in that?" "Why is my company issued credit card showing on my personal credit report?" "We are underwater on our home by $45,000... what should our next step be?" "Can I pull credit reports on my kids due to my husband taking out credit cards in their names?" "My husband took the money from the sale of our home and won't share it with me. What can I legally do?" "Should I max out my 401(k) at the beginning of the year or spread it out?" "Is my dad right in saying I need a prenup to protect my house?" Next Steps: ✔️⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Help us make the show better. Please take this short survey.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 📞 Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 weekdays from 2–5 p.m. ET or⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠send us an email⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. 📱 ⁠⁠Get episodes early in the free Ramsey Network app!⁠⁠ ⛰️ ⁠Find out your Baby Step and get a plan for your money.  ⁠ 🏠 ⁠⁠⁠⁠Get organized and prepared to buy or sell a home. ⁠⁠⁠⁠ 💵⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Start your free budget today. Download the EveryDollar app!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ❓ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Will an online will work for you? Take this quiz to find out.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Connect With Our Sponsors: Stop paying more and start shopping smarter at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ALDI⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Get 10% off your first month of⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ BetterHelp⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Boost Mobile⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to switch today! Learn more about⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Christian Healthcare Ministries⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Get started today with⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Churchill Mortgage⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Get 20% off when you join ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠DeleteMe⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Go to⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ FAIRWINDS Credit Union⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for an exclusive account bundle! Find top health insurance plans at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Health Trust Financial⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Use code RAMSEY to save 20% at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Mama Bear Legal Forms⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Visit⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ NetSuite⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ today to learn more. For more information, go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠SimpliSafe⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Use promo code RAMSEY for 18% off at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Nokbox⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Get started with ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YRefy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or call 844-2-RAMSEY. Visit⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Zander Insurance⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for your free instant quote today!  Explore more from Ramsey Network: 💸 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Ramsey Show Highlights⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🧠 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Dr. John Delony Show⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🍸 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Smart Money Happy Hour⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 💡 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Rachel Cruze Show⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 💰 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠George Kamel⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🪑 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Front Row Seat with Ken Coleman⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 📈 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠EntreLeadership⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy⁠⁠⁠⁠

From the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey show, where we help people build well, do work that they love and create actual amazing relationships. Rachel Cruz, number one bestselling author, host of the Rachel Cruz, show and Ramsey personality. My daughter is my co-host today. Open phones at AAA 825-5-2-2-2-5. Mary is in Canada. Hi, Mary. Welcome to the show. Hi, thank you for having me. Sure. What's up? So I'm in a situation where I've been married and my husband lost his job about two years ago. and there's been a bunch of different circumstances that leading me to think that unfortunately this relationship might not work out. So in preparing for that, because we do have some debt that accumulated, especially in the last two years, I'm just kind of wondering, like, should I pay off some of this debt before we officially separate to make things easier or how to proceed with that?

okay so what's going on with him um well he was he lost his job two years ago um he took that very very hard and it affected his mental health significantly and he's been really struggling with that and we've been trying to support him um unfortunately in dealing with that um some of his choices have been not the correct ones, you know, going into substance abuse and things like that. So he's got, he's an addict. Okay. Yeah.

Okay. And sorry. I'm sorry. That frames up the whole thing a little differently. Okay. All right. And so what do you make a year? I make about 140 to 150,000 a year.

Okay. And how much debt do you go? have? So we have about 125,000 in debt and then our mortgage. And how much is on the mortgage? 155,000. What's the house worth? If we were to sell it now, probably 500, 540. So you've got substantial equity, and the 125 in debt is on what? So there is one vehicle that's there, and then... How much? There's about 50,000 on the vehicle.

Oh, okay. And then there's 7,000 on credit card, and the rest is a line of credit. Okay, all right. Okay, and do you have any money saved that's not retirement? About $1,800. $1,800? I have $1,800.

He has about $12,000. Okay. So you don't really have the option of paying off the debt if you're leaving anytime soon. So the debt is going to get divided up in the divorce, is it not? Yeah. But right now he has no income to. Understand. So that'll be his problem after the divorce.

These are based on the choices. he's made that's his issue it's not going to be your issue anymore right well no but i think legally i will have to give him some money uh monthly i'm hoping to do it in the lump sum yeah out of the house yeah so i would sell the house and clear the debt and clear him and start fresh that would be my strategy but that's all part of the divorce i think i have no idea how this crap works in Canada. Have you talked to a lawyer, Mary? I did, and

the answer is definitely we'll have to pay him something and, you know, selling the houses, like ideally I would like to avoid that because... You want to keep it?

Why? for the kids a little bit it's you know it's where my support is um you know but you got 125 thousand dollars in debt you don't have a way to clear i know yeah who's driving the 50,000 dollar car currently that's mine we had two paid cars and then that's that's that's going to be sold unless you'd sell the house. Yeah. Because you can't afford it. You can't do all of this, Mary.

You're going to have to decide where the pain is. And your support's in that neighborhood. It's not in that house. Right. So, I mean, go down the street and rent an apartment in the area. And that's got, because the kids, listen, the idea that you keep the home is going to make the kids okay. The kids aren't okay already. Their dad's an addict.

He hadn't worked in two years. The kids feel all of this in the air already It's already established in your household So the kids are already going through trauma And moving is the least of their traumas Especially if you just move down the street And keep them in the same school and so forth So that

I don't know what you're going to do I'm sorry you're facing this is awful But you need 125,000 And you need enough money to write him a check for him to go away And I only see one source of that And that all has to happen Simultaneously yeah for her to have a good life yeah i mean if she keeps all this debt yeah and keeps this house

and you know and and just basically boots him out and she takes all of this as her responsibility right that's going to be very difficult to do for sure for sure it's not and you know it's just to me it's not worth it i would want a clean fresh start after this tragedy that you're going through yes and you may still have some leftover from the cell of the home with everything Well, it depends on what we got to pay him. I mean, there's $350,000 worth of equity. And paying him one-time fees, what she's hoping, like a one-time loan. So if you pay off 125K out of $3.50, you've got two and a quarter left.

If he goes away for $100,000, you've got $100 and a quarter left, but he's not going to go away for $100 because he's going to want half the house. Right, right. So it's a problem. Yeah, and I understand, Mary, the wanting the stability of the least amount of change possible for the kids, right? I do understand that mindset of as much as we can keep the same. Yeah, but that drives you into a trap. What I was going to say is your role as a mom and a parent is going to help override a lot of that. Like I do think there can be a, not a false sense by any means, but an overreaching of a belief of like, okay, but if this stays the same, everything's going to just be a little bit better.

But I think you as an engaged mom, not as stressed out mom, not a mom that's panicked all the time because of money, but you have the margin emotionally because you've set yourself up financially for your kids. Like, that is as much of a gift than trying to create the same similar home situation. You're exactly right. If the kids stay in a home that is full of financial stress, it's not a net positive. Yeah, that's right. It's a net negative.

And that's what we run into all the time is this idea that somehow the home is going to make this own thing better. And it's not. What makes it better is for you to get in a place where you don't have, because you've been fighting demons for a while. I mean, they're coming at you from everywhere. And so you got, you got financial stuff coming at you.

You've got all this addict stuff. You know, all this conflict and anxiety with a husband. I mean, and have all of that gone? Man, it's a breath of fresh air. I'm sorry you're going through this, though.

Horrible. Carrie is in Denver. Hey, Carrie, how are you? Hi, I'm good. Thank you so much for taking my call. Sure. What's up? All right.

So about two years ago, I got a settlement from a car injury. And it was for quite a lot of money. It was for $350,000, which is like the most money I've ever seen or ever expected to see in my life. So I think I way overcomplicated it. I felt really weird about putting all of it into the brokerage account. So I split it up and now I've got like 10 different accounts. And my question is like should I combine a lot of these? What accounts are they?

Okay. So I've got a SEP IRA, a loss IRA, a traditional IRA, a brokerage account, two CDs and a high yield savings account. That's called diversification. didn't carry you do have a lot they're not all terrible though no everything everything's fine the only thing i would i would probably roll your cds into the high yield because they're paying about the same and the high yield doesn't have any penalties but that's a minor that's a minor detail but um okay overall they're not all different accounts they're all different um methods of uh i mean you've got

some retirement things you did which are wise you've got some short-term things that you did that you may use some of the money like to buy a house or something in five years that's the brokerage account and then you've got some money that's just sitting there liquid meaning it's not at risk

at all it's just sitting it's not earning anything hardly and that's the high yield savings and the CDs so it sounds like someone gave you some pretty good advice I've been listening to your show it's actually you guys oh wow okay well there you go

the people that advised you were geniuses just pat yourself on the back there those people Those people that helped you, they're just smart. I'm just saying, yeah. Right. Yeah, what I always tell folks to do, listen, you mentioned something that's very important. This is amount of money I never thought I would see.

So what that amounts to is I'm doing something I've never done, and so I feel intimidated and inept, which is normal. That would be normal to feel that way if you're doing something you've never done before, right? And so I would want to go on a learning, journey, more than just listening to our YouTube clips or something, to where you begin to say, okay, I felt that way at first, but now I, over the last three years, I've learned all these different things, and I've had these different experiences with these investments, and now I feel very comfortable and competent, and that should be, that's your big goal,

is to get the other side of the learning curve on this, and it's not a panic, but I want you to feel confident and I don't want you ever to wear five years from now three years from now you're not saying that anymore which also means you're not going to make any mistakes okay okay so yeah so I would tell you to go to a smart vester pro is what I'm saying get to go to ramsie solutions and click on smart vester find a smart vester pro in your area sit down with them and and have them look over what you've done and um you know and if they would do anything different or if you want to move the accounts with them that's fine and just begin to learn, you know, what we're doing and where we're going from here.

Yeah, that's great. Well done. Very smart. Yeah. It's funny. All right. Lauren is in Ohio. Hey, Lauren.

What's up? Hi, Dave. Hi, Rachel. Thank you so much for taking my call. Sure. So I'm 30 years old. I have been following the baby steps for a little over six years, probably about seven now. I got out of debt.

I have an emergency fund. I was able to pay cash for a car last year. And I've been ready. Thank you. Thank you so much. I've been ready to start saving up for a house. I'm currently renting. But I've also been in a relationship with someone for eight years.

He's 49 and is not very financially responsible. And I think I need some advice on next steps to take. Dang. So your financial transformation happened. While you've been dating him, like you said you went, you did all of this. Okay. Yes. And meanwhile, he did nothing.

Pretty much. He cleaned up some tax problems that he'd had in the past. Good. He's now legal. Yes. But he's financed vehicles, and now he has one working vehicle and one non-working vehicle, and they're both financed, and he's very upside down. So exactly what is your question?

Exactly. My question is, do I need to take care of myself by getting out of here? Or is there something else I can do to help them, you know, see the light, quote, unquote? Well, have you guys talked about it? Had conversations over the last eight years about money? For many, many years. And you raise these concerns that it makes you nervous and kind of fearful with his financial patterns. And what does he say? he basically he either becomes very defensive like i'm i'm doing this and i'm doing that and

if i just change this one thing this will all go away and or you think i'm so bad with money and yeah no oh so now yeah i kind of do yeah i kind of do i just don't know where to go from here is it is it time to you know base the facts i mean a question and I always like to ask, Lauren, is do you look at him and think, what a winner? He is. Do you? Yeah. Yeah, there's that. Yeah, that's in there that's, uh, do you want to be married to that forever?

You don't, you don't respect him, do you? No, I don't. Yeah. I don't at all. It's not a matter whether he's holding you back. It's a matter of what do you want to spend your life with. Yeah. Yeah.

And I'll say this, Lauren, to me, it's not about the money, you know, a certain amount of that he's worth or whatever. It's the values and the patterns at which he lives his life. And when those are in conflict with how the value system at which you live your life, that's a really hard marriage to be a team and to enjoy life together. You know what I mean? You're going to make him miserable. You're going to make him miserable.

And he's going to make you miserable. But I mean, you need to understand that, you know, just standing beside him makes him, the reflection is not good. you know, I mean, it's, that's the truth. I mean, your very presence reveals his deficits. And so. I often feel like his mother rather than his mother. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, because you sound like the responsible one, the one that lives in reality. You know what you mean? I think you've already made your call before you called here, hadn't you? I might have. Yep. I'm sorry, Lauren.

That's hard. It's a hard decision. Yeah. do you guys live together or are you guys going to have to like separate okay yeah so it's going to be a big yeah this is a big a big breaking for sure absolutely and here's the other thing um it's been eight years and this is not and it has been discussed over and over and over and over he's not gonna change that's what i was afraid you'd say so when you when you announce this and he says oh i'll change he means it, but he still won't.

But he still won't, yeah. Do you think? I mean, the pattern is ingrained. I just know. Well, Annie's a 50-year-old man. Do you know what I'm saying? I'm like, it's not like you guys are both 24-year-olds, and he's, like, trying to figure out the world.

I'm like, dude, you got like 12 years on me and my husband. I don't know. Martin means, like, you're 50. 19 years old. Yeah, yeah. I'll tell you what I would do is I would pick up the book, Necessary endings. by Dr. Henry Cloud.

I think it will inform your intellect and soothe your emotions. Okay. As you decide to walk through this, because we're doing an emotional thing with an intellectual discussion, and that's a hard, you know, and then when you get into it, it's going to be emotional. And, um, because you're not a psychopath, so, and you like him, you love him. You don't want to hurt him. You're not a mean person. We're not trying to bully someone or gaslight them. or something like that.

It's just you're just going, this is just not going to end. I don't want to be sitting here 40 years from now. That's what you're saying. The trajectory on this sucks. And you just don't respect him. And it's hard to, it's hard to do in-depth, close relationships

with anyone you don't respect. And his response to you pushing a little bit of conflict when it goes defensive and you start getting blamed, that's going to be your relationship, not just with money, but other things, right? That's the value system and the paradigm he lives in. And, yeah, you don't want a partner like that, you know? If you're tired of living paycheck to paycheck and feeling like you can't get ahead,

join one of our free every dollar trainings. These are new trainings every dayings. month, and they're all hosted by one of the Ramsey personalities. Rachel, when are you doing the next one? Next week. Okay. I think maybe Wednesday. Coming up soon.

I did one this week. Yeah, they're great. They're really. We're showing you how to stick to a budget, and you find thousands of dollars of margin. Everybody that goes through it, we show you here. You can do this, this, this, this, and this. We give you a list of things. It's always thousands of dollars of things you can do to start turning the corner.

And so ask any question during the live Q&A. George was saying yesterday that the live Q&A is excellent. Oh, yeah, well, it's fun. It's like this show. I mean, you get to, yeah, people jump on. Except you can actually get through. Yeah, you're there. So, sign up for free at ramsysolutions.com slash webinar.

Free every dollar trainings. Free. Did I mention they're free? Chances in Sacramento. Hey, Chance, what's up? Hey, how you doing? Better than I deserve. How can we help?

Man, this is cool. So, I'm actually calling about, I'm calling on behalf of my mom. I'm a small business owner. She works for me. She's 62, and she was having a little bit of a tough time getting, getting laid off at different jobs she was working at. So now she just works for me, and it's pretty, you know, low stress.

But I'm just concerned about, you know, what I can do is a son to help her out with her future retirement and kind of where she's at right now I have a list of you know some of the different amounts that she currently has whenever you're ready okay um what do you make what's your income so I I bring home it's 83,000 but take home's about 73 and that's on this business on the business yeah okay and what are you paying her my 45,000 okay 20 40 hours okay all right you were getting ready to say something on the 83 you make profit in addition to that uh yeah that's just my salary okay so what's the what's the business make what's your profit that you get paid that you

pay taxes on oh these are this is good i'm getting in i'm getting a lot better at this So, last year was 1.5, 1.4, and we made a profit of about 100,000. Good. This year, we're going to do... You made a profit of 100,000 after you paid yourself 83? Correct. So you made $183,000 personal income? Correct.

Because you own 100% of the business, right? Yes. Okay. That tells me what you've got to work with to try to help her other than the 45. Okay, so what does she have? Does she have any money saved? Yes. So currently there's $97,000 in an annuity, an indexed annuity that's going to mature next year.

Good. And $91,000 in a individual brokerage account. $57,000 in a traditional IRA and almost $7,000 in a Roth IRA. Good, good, okay. What I would do is take her and sit down with a smart vester pro in your area, a broker that we recommend, and help them develop a plan to get all of this money working together. She's got about almost $300,000, there, $250, anyway, and get that all working for her, keeping her hands off of it,

let her build a sustainable budget on the 45. And if she just leaves it alone and keeps working, in seven years it will double. So, yeah, instead of 250, it'll be 500. Man, that's good news. Yeah. That seems a little bit better than the amount I was looking at. Yeah, because this is a little slim.

not enough but she's only 62 so I mean she can work as long as she can keep working you can keep paying her and then of course you know do you have many do you how many employees do you have so we have eight guys in the field and three of us are management with my mom being one of the managers okay well I mean if you can find if you wanted to start you can talk to the smart restor pro about that too what's called a simple 401k or a simple IRA. It's a 401K for small businesses. It costs nothing to get it started,

but you do have to match up to 3% what people put in, but she could continue to put money in that, and you can match her then. And, you know, you can help her that way and help her fund her Roth IRAs every year in addition to having this money invested well. So there's some things you can do here because you're making some money. Yeah, chance did she have an age that she was,

wanting to retire and you guys were trying to figure out if she was able to or is she great to work for longer to get this built up no my family dynamic is kind of um you know my my dad had an injury a long time ago so he's not in the picture um and my mom is kind of not looking at me for but like i just i want to be a good guidance for her so she i'm looking at her to work to seven Yeah, she's ready to work for as long as she'd like to, and even if she's not, I'm still going to pay her, you know, or take care of her, do what I need to do. Yeah. Well, I mean, be careful about that part of this. Let's develop a plan that has the dignity of sustainability on her own, where she doesn't have to be.

Is she going to be a problem in the workplace for 10 years, considering she's gotten laid off so many times? Or is it she good? She's good in her role and everything. Well, my sister passed away, and after that she left work for a while. And then when she came back, all of the, you know, the other admin ladies were younger, faster. I gotcha. Okay. Okay. Yep. Now that makes sense. I gotcha. And we don't have any property in our family. Like, she isn't on a home.

She's renting right now. And the rent is a little bit higher than, I mean, it's like $1,400. hundred bucks yeah it's a lot so I think you sit down develop a plan with a good smart vester pro and that will tell you what you're going to do and and also will inform her I think she's working a while and and I think I think that you know I think it's good I don't think that's bad there's nothing wrong with that I'm getting ready to turn 65 I plan on market and not because I have to but because I enjoy it and so this is what I do and I don't really have anything else I want do so that's perfect so um you know uh she's got that same situation she gets to work with her son who's got who's loving her and taking care of her and so forth and so she can stay right there

and earn an income and meanwhile continually putting some money in meanwhile investing this current money that she has better than it's invested now so that it'll produce more because it's not you know it's probably not doing that well right now so you do need to reorganize the money that she has and that's why i'm sending you to a smart vestor pro to help you figure every bit of that Now, Virginia's in Pennsylvania. Hi, Virginia. How are you? Fine, thanks.

I'm a new listener. Okay. How can we help? Well, my question is, is it make financial sense for me to continue to be the co-owner on my 33-year-old unmarried son's financial account? No. I opened these up for him when he was an infant. Yeah.

So. No, this is like a man. And he doesn't need his mommy on his account. I'm trying really, not that he's irresponsible, but I'm really trying hard. Well, he's 33. If he's irresponsible, it's his problem. He doesn't make a lot of money. I don't care.

So, okay. No, I mean, really. You cannot carry a 33-year-old around and change his diaper, honey. I mean. I don't. I was always told there should be a co-owner on bank accounts. I'm sorry. Say that again?

I was always told there should be a co-owner. Who told you that? My parents. Oh, okay. It's shocking. Okay. No. Let me just tell you.

Rachel's sitting beside me. She's my daughter. She's in her 30s. The number of bank accounts of hers that I'm on is precisely zero. Not even close. It's hard to let go, Virginia. That's a good boundary. It's a good boundary.

He needs to fly and be free. And if he makes mistakes, he's going to have to learn it as a man. Goody. I'm glad you're a first-time listener, though. glad you're here if you like the show thank you we could use your help click the follow button the subscribe button share the show send somebody a link click a share button if there's one on your platform we appreciate that oh those five-star reviews they're very helpful too thank you very much all that pushes the algorithms around and causes people to see the show on the

platform that you're on, whether it's Spotify or Apple or Google Play or YouTube or wherever you are, wherever you're hanging out. If you're on talk radio, just tell people about it. It's that simple. Thank you guys for sharing it. We appreciate it. Brianna is in Texarkana, Texas. Hey, Brianna.

What's up? Is it Brianna or Brianna? I go by either, but it's Brianna. Brianna, okay. How are you all today? Good. How can we help? I was giving you a call.

We're kind of in a pickle. We're currently renting and our landlord is selling the house. It gave us 30 days to move out. Okay. So we've got a couple of options. I'm in touch with contractors in the area because I work with them. We looked in a spot of house yesterday. That was $1,300 a month.

For rent? Which is, yes. Okay. what are you paying now 1150 okay cool that's good all right okay um we do have some debts right now we have um we have two cars that we are paying down a lot on and a discover card so total in debt is about 25,000 okay so i've got two options i can either um start paying a little bit more and rent and, you know, push our, we will eventually build a house, or we can, my sister told me we could go ahead and get a loan out of camper and live on her property so we can rat hole

a lot of money for a down payment on a house and start building. Take a loan and buy a camper. Well, take a, yeah, I know. Take a loan out for a camper Yeah, I got it You just said that out loud Yeah Well, yeah, I know

Oh, no Yeah So, no, we're not going to finance Something that's going down in value While we're trying to get out of debt To save up money to buy a house It's working against you You're swimming upstream

not only is it going down in value but you're paying interest for it to go down in value right oh and by the way you're living in a camper there's that too yeah yeah I'd go rent that $1,300 house in about the next 30 minutes for it gets away okay what's your hesitation Brian I'm just curious is it that I guess it's just You feel like you're throwing money away renting? Yeah, in a sense, yeah. Okay, what do you guys owe on the two cars? I was 17 on one and then 4,600 on the other.

Okay. And what are you guys, what's your house holding down? What do y'all make? Last year we did 125. Okay. Oh, that's great. So you should be able to clean this up a year. You beat debt free in a year.

Yeah, and also No, no, no, no, I meant No, you said that like you didn't believe it I believe it You made $1,000 and you only owe $25,000 Your rent's only $1,300 You should be debt free in a year You're not on a detailed budget

Y'all are still going out to eat and partying Yeah, we started doing the Every Dollar app as well Last week Right? Yeah, you're just getting started, kiddo Listen, don't worry about the every dollar app. But if you were organized, think about this.

If you make $1.25 and you pay off $25, that means you have to live on $100,000. Oh, my. Yeah. You could do that. Okay. Your cars are not out of control. They're not good. I want you to get them paid off.

The $17,000 is concerning, but you make good money. Yeah, what do y'all bring home every month? Do you know after tax? What hits your bank account every month? for income? Every month, let me think. I'm easily $1,700 every two weeks,

and he's at like $1,500 every two weeks. $6,400? Yeah. Okay, something's wrong. You guys got a big tax refund, didn't you? Well, not. It was about $2,000.

Okay, and how much is coming out for 401Ks? 6% out of mine, so 100. Yeah, okay. So stop that. And that pays for the difference of the rent. And we do have an 18-month-old, but she's in daycare. Yeah, but that's not causing you to be broke. You're making plenty of money.

Okay. So here's the thing. Here's what I want you to do. You're in talking to you for a few minutes, you are, you make too much money and you're too smart to be this broke. Okay? because if I run into somebody that's either dumb or they don't make enough money, I can't fix the dumb, but I can help if they don't make enough money.

You're not either one. You're smart enough to do this, and you are not, and you make plenty of money. So here's what I want you to do. I want you to pretend like I hired you for $130,000 a year to take over Brianna's budget and make it behave. Make every one of those dollars scream like it was your job. and if you didn't do your job, you were going to get fired. Okay.

And that's the every dollar budget. I'm going to take every one of those dollars that's coming in. I'm going to stop the 401k temporarily. I'm going to adjust my take-home pay by another $200 a month so that you don't get a tax refund, and that's the $2,000, because a tax refund means you gave Washington too much money, and then they gave it back to you in April. Santa Claus does not live in D.C.

That was your money. You got back. And so you lay all of that out. and you make those adjustments and then you take the money that's coming in which is now about $7,000 a month you pay $1,300 out of it, you buy some food, you buy some daycare, you put the electric bill on there, and then you got some money to attack this and you run the ringer on this debt, kiddo, and don't be talking about living in a camper, you make $140,000 a year.

Let's get this done. Okay. You can do this. We have paid off. We have paid off a lot, like easily $20,000 this past year. Good. Okay. That's great.

If you did it one more year, please. If you did it one more year, plus a little, you're done. Because the cars, we originally started with $16,000 on my Highlander and $9,000 on his car. And we've paid it. That's great. What's the Discover? Hey, what's the Discover card? How much do you guys owe on that?

$18,000. $18,000. Okay. Is that cut up? Oh, yeah. It's gone. Okay. Good.

All right. So you discovered freedom. Good. I'm glad. Yeah. All right. Hey, get on that every dollar budget. We're going to put you in with Kelly.

She's going to give you the upgrade where it connects to your bank and you can drag and drop everything automatically. And it's going to change everything. It's going to show you exactly how to walk these baby steps. And I want you to step on this money like it was your job. Yeah, get the $2,600 car paid off this month. Yeah. Find $2,600 out of that budget and do it. Like, extreme stuff.

And this is extreme. the grocery budget, your shopping in expensive places. No eating out and no vacations. And no campers. No campers. That's, no, no, no, that's going to set you back. It's going to cost you a year and a half to two years in this. Don't do that.

No, your sister's sweet. She's just not smart. Don't do this. No. She was generous to let you live there. I shouldn't say that. But that was nice. But no, if it led to her suggesting financing a camper, then I'm not going to, no, that's

dumb. that don't do that go get that other house you're going to be there two years because it's going to take a year to get out of debt build your emergency fund then you got to build a down payment you might be there three but that's it after that you're going to buy a house yeah and then you're going to move on and become wealthy this is what you're going to do because you make too much money and you're too smart to be this broke so you're heading out you're doing good stuff keep it up keep it up keep it up we're here to help you and we're going to hold you accountable hang on kelly's going to pick up we'll get you tied into that every dollar out it's interesting that's interesting that's interesting

I mean the camper what's interesting yeah I just I'm trying to think what what mindset well because it feels like rents I could see it I could that it feels like you're throwing money away and at least you have an asset but understanding of the asset ends up sometimes being underwater it's like a car like you borrow at the high end then when you try to sell it It's not, you can't even recoup it. So it's just, yeah, more details and research in it, Brianna. But good luck to you guys. Good question.

Thanks for calling you. Welcome back to the Ramsey Show. Rachel Cruz, Ramsey, personality, number one bestselling author. My daughter is my co-host today. Open phones at AAA-825-225. Amanda is in Wisconsin. Hi, Amanda. How are you?

Doing great, Dave. thank you for taking my call. And Rachel, it's awesome to speak with you as well. Oh, well, we're glad you called Amanda. Happy to talk. Thank you. Currently, my husband and I, with our four children, we are on baby step number three. And we've currently paid off about $125,000. Oh, my gosh. Congratulations. Yeah, it's been a lot of work.

But right now that we have more wiggle room in. the budget, we're struggling with momentum of trying to get that full on emergency fund filled up. And part of it has to do is we had a couple of emergencies this past year that weren't life-threatening, but they are big financial burdens that we are struggling to throw that money at it to save up to that large amount versus when we were paying down our debts, you know, it was easy, you know, throwing like, you know, three, 500, you know, things at a time per month. And watching that steadily go down. But we're just, we're kind of struggling with the momentum of needing to get that emergency fund up so we can keep going forward.

How much you guys have in the account now? 6,000. Okay. And your ideal number that you guys are shooting for? 30,000. 30. That's three to six months of expenses? No, that's just at least like a couple of months right now.

No, I'm saying 30,000 is three to six months of expenses? of expenses? What's your household income? Last year, we had 110,000. Okay. All right. Okay. It's pretty hefty. You may have a, that may be part of the problem. You may have such a big goal. You can't seek getting there. And you're throwing how much at it a month to build it? Or how much can you throw it? Right now, right now we're throwing about 500 a month. You didn't get out of debt at that speed. No, we didn't. It's, and that's where. What were you throwing at at what were you throwing at the debt a month? Oh, gosh, like a couple thousand.

Yeah. Yeah, at least. Listen, baby steps one through three are gazelle intensity, like your hair is on fire, scorched earth, no eating out, no relaxing, total focus, zero lifestyle, no vacations until you get that emergency fund bill. So it's $2,000 a month going in there, which is a 15-month schedule from the beginning, but you're 6,000 in, and so it's a 12-month schedule for you to get there. But you've got to, I mean, you've got to lay it out and look at it like that.

What happened was, is y'all got out of debt and relaxed. Yeah. You didn't keep your intensity through this. Once you get the baby steps done, baby step three done, then you can relax and start 15% be intentional instead of intense. Put 15% of your income into retirement and start towards the kids' college and those kinds of Yeah, what does it take a month to run your household, Amanda? It takes about $3,700 and change.

Okay, so let's call that $4,000. So three months is 12, 24 is six months. So I don't know if you need 30 or not. Yeah, you can go, yeah, you could lower that. You could call it 20 for now and just go get there. That's 14. That's seven months at $2,000 a month. Yeah.

Okay. That probably feels more doable. Yeah, at $500 a month, you're going to get there in about 18 years. No, you can't, no wonder you lost momentum. Yeah, last year, one of our vehicles that we had paid off, the motor decided to die. And after crunching it, it's just cheaper to put a new motor in, which is going to be about 10 grand. We have a second vehicle that, again, everything's paid off that we're using, but it would be good to have the actual truck back on the road.

And then we had a huge flood, and the furnace died. So we're heating our house with a pellet stove, but we need a new furnace, which is like another 10,000. And I think that's probably why are that like 30,000 came from? Yeah, you feel overwhelmed, for sure. Yeah, you've got to take care of those things. So you may want to go with a used motor from a junkyard into the truck rather than a new one. Yeah, we've been to, like, multiple mechanics. It's one of those situations where it's a known issue with the vehicle, like,

around the 180,000 mile mark. Didn't know that when we bought her. But, you know, even if it's a used or refurbished motor, it's still around, like, the lowest was like $8,000. Yeah, yeah, okay. But, I mean, yeah, you're going to have to clear those and plow through this. Thank God you're out of debt. Yeah.

You'd be up a creek. You know, it's painful watching the vehicle sit there and, you know, in the furnace. And it's like, and it just felt like, oh, gosh, we lost their momentum because we were starting to stay up for the emergency fund. And I'm like, how do we get the momentum back? Yeah. Well, I mean, it's saying, okay, thank God, okay, with the same intensity that you used to get out of debt, and thank God I was out of debt, because if I wouldn't, I'd be really screwed right now. With all those payments going to be.

And so then you're going to be the other side of this and you're going to go, okay, I got the furnace, the car fixed, I get the emergency fund done. And thank God, I'm in that position because then something else is going to come up, 100% of us have things happen. That's what, well, and the hard thing is, too, I think we can kind of all live a little bit. in a fantasy world that life's trajectory is just straight up and it's not it goes up and down you know the trajectory is going up but there's going to be ups and down seasons like we've talked to many people that they were on you know baby step three and almost complete and then something happens and they got to drain it and build it back up i mean that that is life but the encouraging thing is i mean that you guys have a plan number one you know what you're doing and just take it one bite at a time when you

look at the whole thing it can feel overwhelming of like oh my gosh we still have to get 20 000 the emergency phone. And we have this 10,000, this 10,000. Just do one thing at a time and look at the numbers of it to know, okay, if we really sacrifice and keep at it, we can put 2,000 away a month, 1,500 away a month. And you just start building on that. And then also you think about, too, your jobs, you know, getting raises, like things happen to with income throughout this process. The good news is the other side of it and the other side of it looks like this. when you don't have any payments, the truck is fixed and the furnace is fixed, and you got $20,000 in the bank, it's going to be the weirdest thing.

Here's the weirdest thing that happens. What is defined as an emergency changes? Because when you're broke, a $30 item is an emergency. When you're doing really well and you've got margin in your budget, a $1,000 item is not an emergency. Because you just put it in the budget. so and and even later on it gets to wear a $10,000 item is not an emergency as you build some wealth and you just don't end up using the emergency fund because you know you're starting to get margin in your life and by the way you're moving up in a little bit better cars so they're not breaking all

the freaking time and you're staying ahead of the maintenance stuff on stuff so it doesn't break on you and you get more life out of things because you keep up with it all that so So the good news, and that's, I'm talking three years from now for you, Amanda, they're not today. Today, you've got another year of really tough. Roll up your sleeves. You've got a year of tough. And you're not done.

You're not done. You've got to get through this. And then, but that's the only way to get through it is to get, is to bust through it. And as you said, to regain your momentum. There's not a magic thing. But when you set a clear goal and you believe it's reachable, it gives you energy. When it's a vague series of things attacking me that I don't know how I'm going to handle, it steals your energy. So break it down, step by step. Here's what we're going to do

first. Here's we're going to do second. Here's we're going to do third. And we're going to crank it up again. No lifestyle, no nothing until we get this mess cleaned up. Amy's in Minnesota. Hi, Amy. How are you? I'm good. How are you guys doing? Better than I deserve. What's up? Well, I wanted to. call and ask about my company credit card. My husband and I worked really hard to pay off all of our debt, and we have our emergency fund saved, and we've been also saving to buy our first house sometime in this year. We went to our local credit union to get approved, and we did get approved for a loan, but the person that we spoke with there asked me about a $17,000 debt that was showing

on my credit report, and I realized it was for my company issued credit card. I'm a secretary and an accounting firm, and I was given this card when I first started working here, and I use it to book travel for employees, order office supplies, pay different company bills, but it never occurred to me that it would show on my personal report. Is it an American Express? No. Good, okay. because theirs are going to show on your report and they're going to try to hold you liable.

So I would go to your supervisor and tell them you need this canceled immediately. Okay. This is ridiculous. It should not be on your report. Did you sign to be liable for this company? No. And from what I was reading, you know, we're a smaller company, so I'm, like, listed as an authorized user. The authorized user should not, is not liable for the bill.

yeah so that's why i shouldn't show up on the credit bureau but your bank is a hook huckster so your your boss's bank is a huckster so you need to get away from this okay i was yeah i wasn't sure if i was getting the right information from the credit card or from the credit union person we talked to about the loan um well if it shows up on your credit bureau it's not something they've taken your social security number and put you on the account somehow yeah yeah i'm an authorized user i know authorized user is not liable but that doesn't It should not be reported. Sometimes they do that, though.

And so, yeah, you've got to be really, really careful. And so I would just tell your boss just to, you know, to shut it down, shut down the account, or shut your name down off the account. I don't want to be on the account at all in any way. If you want me to book your travel and stuff, you're going to give me your card to do it. I'm not putting my name on it. Okay. Okay.

Well, I will do that. I appreciate it. I don't want to be liable for it. And I don't want it reported on my credit bureau. Yeah. I worked hard to get out of debt. Now, I got a $17,000 death that's yours on my credit report. That's what parents are starting to do with their kids, putting their kids as authorized users so that it builds their credit, which is that same whole.

It's the same crap. And it's not supposed to show up. Yeah. It's not legal, but they do it all the time. So because here's the thing. What is reported on your Credit Bureau report is what you owe. When you're an authorized user, you don't. owe anything. Your name is attached. It should not be on it. It's just that her name's attached

to an account that does owe. Yeah, exactly. But it's the same thing as the kids. It's exactly why she's getting this. She's probably not liable on this account. They probably haven't screwed it up. But the best thing to do is just to get it out of her name completely and then you don't have to worry about it. That's not going to show up anymore. God, how how crazy is that? But you're like, we're out of debt, all this. And you go to your credit union and you're like, I'm sorry. You got $17,000. You're like, what? We can prove the loan in spite of that. And he acts like she owes the money. See how that happened? Yeah. See how that looks? That's the purpose

of a Credit Bureau report, but it's false. Right, right. You know, I just say, uh, these companies, man. Snakes. Kathleen is in Kansas. Hi, Kathleen. How are you? Hey, Dave. I'm good. How are you doing? Better than I deserve. What's up? Thanks for taking my call. So, pretty straightforward question. My boyfriend and I are going to be

buying a house together. And my question is, should I keep the town home that I currently own and rent it out for extra income, or should I sell it, take the profit, and stick it in investments? Kathleen, you're not going to like me. You're going to ask why we're not married. No. I'm going to tell you, I'm going to start. Maybe that too, Kathleen.

Well, that might come up in a minute, but we're going to start with the idea that buying a home with someone that you're not married to is financial freaking suicide. Do not do that. okay one of you decides to leave you can't get off the mortgage there's no protection one of you gets disabled

you can't get off the mortgage if he dies and he doesn't have a will if he dies and he doesn't have a will you own a townhouse with his mother yeah it's a bad idea it's a bad idea okay

these are the people that call us later after they do the thing you're going to do and then they call us going Dave I'm so screwed what am I going to do now please don't do this or the boyfriend leaves and doesn't it stops paying he just disappears and then you're on the hook for the whole thing or you're going to get foreclosed on or you don't even like it's just it's not not good no no no no no do not do this now then and then if you were married and you did and you did buy it together that would be okay obviously so if you're going to do this you got to get married um so i'm i'm really meddling now but the uh but then if you're going to do this you'd have to keep debt on one or the other in order to keep the old place and i

wouldn't do that i'd sell the old place okay but don't sell the old place and buy this with your boyfriend you're going to do it anyway she is she's going to do it anyway you're how i stay in business you're just going to keep coming back she's going to do it anyway everyone listening knows it oh bless your heart darling i'm so sorry please don't do this please we love you we don't want this for you're here kathleen if it goes south it's not a prosperity plan it's a poor person plan you're going to be poor people don't do this don't do this please don't do this it's not a matter of romance it's a matter of stupidity tim is in utah hey tim what's up hey dave um quick question so my wife and i were self-employed we own a business um and um um um um um um um um um um um um

We currently own a house in Utah that we bought in May of 2022. Long story short, our house has dropped in value like $85,000. Why? So the market just dropped. We bought the week before interest rates started going up, and so then interest rates went up. Where in Utah? I just south of Salt Lake. Bull.

Salt Lake is a boomtown. It's exploding in price. It's almost unbearably. expensive. Our whole, it is, it's still expensive. Our house was expensive, but our value, the value has gone down quite a bit since when we, since we bought. I'm sorry, I don't believe you.

I think you've got bad information. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, who gave you, who gave you the comp, who gave you the comps, um, our realtor works for, uh, your real estate agent came out and looked at the house and said the house that you bought in 21 is worth 80, $25,000 less in Salt Lake City. Yeah. And we have friends that just sold under contract and their house is under value. Yeah.

Yep. So here's my question, though. So we are, we don't have any other debt. Well, pretty smart financially, but we don't like how much our mortgage is. And the other aspect is we travel to the East Coast for work six or seven times a year. And so we're looking at buying a house. in the East Coast, buy some friends, and we'd be able to lower our mortgage payment about $1,200 a month.

Six or seven times a year? Yeah. For how long at a time? How long at a time? About a week at a time. So for seven weeks? So six weeks out of 52. That doesn't determine your domicile.

Well, no, but if we moved to where we're looking at, our mortgage payment would also be $1,200 a month. Oh, you would move. You never live there. No, but you're moving there full time, you're saying. No, no, no, no. We're talking about selling our house in Utah and moving. And moving to the East Coast. The whole year.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. So what's the six or seven times got to do with it? That's just the reason why they're moving. We don't like traveling as much. The reason they want to live on the main reason is. So are you working in Salt Lake City while you live on the East Coast?

We own a company and we work remote. So we can work anywhere. So my question was, though, for us to move to sell our house, we'd owe our mortgage company a little bit, and then moving costs and closing costs and everything, it would cost us probably about $40,000, which we have in the bank to move, and it only saved us about $1,200 a month in payment and mortgage payment. It doesn't make any sense at all. So we're trying to decide, so we just take that $40,000 and to put it towards our house, that's the only debt we have. I would just sit there and let the thing come back in value. You've got no reason to move. You don't have no reason to move.

You're only over there six times a year. You can get a hotel six times a year. Or nothing. I mean, it's nothing compared to. So wait until the house gets the value. You're going to go $85,000 and $40,000 to move. So there's a $120,000 swing. You'll never recoup.

Salt Lake City is the 10th hottest real estate market in 2025 in the U.S. It's up 9% year over year in prices, and it is 35% higher than the national average on median house prices. Okay, this is such a... Just to make sure. Just a classic Ramsey move. No, I'm serious. This is just... I'm too.

This is exactly what happens when we debate at dinner as a family. We're always pulling up Google to prove our point. Well, I mean, it wasn't like I made this up. That was my point. I know, I know, but you proved it. I did. Proved it. Lock that down.

Christy's in Indiana. Hey, Christy, what's up? Hey, so my, lots happened over the past year with my family. Me and my husband has been married for about 14 years, and we're deciding to move because of the job from Indiana to D.C. And we're deciding to consolidate my mother's house also and move her in with us. She owns her house outright. We still carry a mortgage.

But I'm just trying to figure out how to protect her money in this whole process. That's something where to happen. Divorce, death, what may. I just have no clue how to walk into joining our household and making that happen. Why are you? um i'm the only child that looks out for her so her husband had a stroke a year ago he's in a facility he's he's like a three-year-old and a grown man's body um she lived with my 92 old grandma who passed away about two weeks ago oh i'm sorry so there's there's just no one here

how old is your mom um 72 okay so why does she need care at 72 too? She just doesn't get around good. She uses a walker, probably could use a wheelchair at this point. She was looking into a town home here, and I'm like, you can't even go care. That doesn't make sense if you've got a wheelchair in your future with a walker. Yes, I know, I know. And, you know, there's some family close, and I said, if she needed help, would you help her? You know, right now she lives on an acre. She has a, like a seven or eight bedroom house. It's just too much.

So we've been taking care of it. I don't, what I'm trying to figure is why she's moving in with you. Because I have a conscience. No, that's not the point. She doesn't even need you. I mean, she's only 72. But she doesn't sound like she's in great health. Yeah, she's not.

She does need us. She does need us. All right. All right I don't know why She panics You know even She had help with her husband

And how many brothers and sisters do you have Um I have One sister My brother I have a brother also But we haven't seen him And

Okay so What's the house she's going to sell How much money is she going to put into this deal Um Probably Maybe 700,000 And I have some other cash things that were moved around annuities and stuff.

We had hired, prior to all of this going down, we had hired an estate lawyer when her husband had a stroke. Yeah, yeah. And they moved some of her money around so that she wouldn't lose it. Why would she lose it? Applying for Medicaid. She put him in a welfare nursing home, and she has $700,000? Well, no, that's going to be what we're going to get from the house

because she owns the house outright, and that's something they said that the government wouldn't take with the house. I know, but this is Medicaid. This is Medicaid is welfare. She put him in a welfare nursing home. Wow. And she had the money to not do that. No, we used all of our cash assets initially, and he was not in there for about a year. Okay, so she's broke other than the house.

Yes. Does she have any income? other than what she gets from Social Security now. Okay. What's your house going to, what's this proposed purchase going to cost? We actually made an offer on a house for a little over a million. Okay, you need to see an estate planning attorney, and the house would be purchased in an LLC, and she owns a portion of the LLC.

and you own a portion of the LLC Okay, and then here's the tricky part You have to do a bunch of legal work To determine what happens to her portion of the LLC Upon disability or death Or if you guys just want to sell Because otherwise you're going to get trapped And your siblings are going to be pissed

And your brother will just reappear at the most inopportune moment looking for his part of the 700K that is called your house this is really messy it's going to be very difficult to do this well and it not end poorly that's why I was asking all these questions

about her care it would be one thing if she just moved in with you and you took care of her but when you put her money in this house she's now your partner she's 72 and she's in ill health and she dies. Is that going to force the sale of the house that you live in in order to give your sister her part of the inheritance? Are you going to save the money to buy her out?

Yeah. You've got to have $350,000 or is it going to be $350,000 plus what the house has gone up in value? So now the house is worth $2 million and your mother's share is now worth $1.4 million. Mm-hmm. And that means you owe your sister $700,000. and this is not going to go well if y'all aren't real careful she was planning on giving the whole portion to us and her initial offer was for her sister feel about that um she doesn't want to take care help her out she doesn't want to help her out

700 grand worth yeah yeah this isn't going to go well okay you guys are you know you haven't thought this all the way through. And so it can be done, but you're going to have to lay out every possible negative scenario and have in writing in the LLC documentation, what's going to occur? Your mother gets dementia. Your sister says that you are signing checks illegally for her. Who's got health care power of attorney? What happens in the event of death? At what point do you have to liquidate to pay your sister out? What does the will say about your mother's portion of the LLC because she owns over 50% of the house you live in and that that that tail is going wag that dog you following all this yes it's messy that's why I was begging you

have figured I way not do it and I and I wasn't being in compassion are you are you married christie with kids and stuff yes okay yes so here would be a question for me because this sort of what she did. The house she lives in now, my grandma did the same exact thing, sold her house, built on to my mom's, and they didn't have any paperwork. So, my grandma, you didn't have any errors that questioned it. Well, you know, she did just pass away two weeks ago, but they knew that that was sort of like the cost of taking care of my grandma and letting her live there. Does your mother have any siblings? Yes. And that was your grandmother's house that just died?

Not technically, no. Whose names are then? My mother's. You sure? Yes, because she built it in 1974. They just remodeled it. If your mother puts all of this money in this house and this house is in your name 100%, you've duplicated that family mess.

But yeah, it'll, that'll work. It'll keep your sister out of it. But I think your sister probably never going to speak to you again when this is over. because you took $700,000 to care for an elderly lady for a few years. It's a pretty heavy pay. A lot different than the Medicaid nursing home she put her husband in. So, man, this is messy. Your sister's going to be pissed.

I can see it coming a mile away. I'm going to get a call from her. That's what's coming next. Y'all got to work this through and everybody's got to talk about it and it's got to be documented and you need some legal advice. It's a lot better than I could give you. Because all I can tell you is it's going to be a dead gun. mess.

The Ramsey Show question of the day is brought to you by Y-R-R-R-FI defaulted private student loans can wreck your peace of mind, your finances, your relationships. Y-R-R-R-R-E-F-Y-F-I offers hope with custom refinancing based on your unique situation and ability to pay. Visit Y-R-R-R-E-F-Y today. That's the letter Y, R-E-F-Y, dot com slash ramsey not available in all states today's question comes from Alexandria in Texas I'm currently going through a divorce and recently found out that my

husband has taken out credit cards in our children's name he racked up significant amount of debt and emptied his retirement account to pay it off he keeps telling me it's not possible to pull credit reports on our kids but I don't believe that that's true because now he wants me to sign paperwork it absolves him from any wrongdoing regarding our kids no good not happening your husband is scum anybody that would

screw his own kids over is scum I mean who takes out that that's just absolutely the I mean to start with identity theft is illegal it's criminal fraud okay so your husband is a criminal oh and who do he steal from his children what a jerk no i am not

signing any paperwork except paperwork puts him in jail that's that's that's the paperwork we're signing on him so no go talk to go talk to your lawyer darling and tell your lawyer to send him back a little note that says hello hello hello hello hello hello you've got to be freaking kidding me you're saying Oh, L, L-L-L-O-L-L. I know, but it's, it's laugh out loud, you fool. Okay, so you've got to be kidding me. Oh. Yeah.

And you can freeze your kids credit, which is what you should do. You can pull kids' credit reports and you can freeze them. We know this because we did it when Rachel was a, when they first started allowing freezing, Rachel was still a minor. And all of our children entered their adult life with a frozen credit report. Nothing had ever been on it. Kids too. Nothing could get on it.

Well, and you do it too to protect them from ID theft, just in general, like with their internet, you know, the internet and scams and frogs. You need to freeze it because their father is scum. Okay. And that will keep him from, if they actually check the credit before they issue the credit card, they won't issue it if it's frozen. Next time he tries to do this. Because there will be a next time. This guy is a serious con artist. Sorry.

Man. Okay. This is interesting, listen to the verbage. He keeps telling me it's not possible. Put credit reports on our kids, but I don't believe that's true. So here's, let me help you with this. Anything this guy says is not true. If his mouth is moving, he's lying.

This is a guy who would steal his own children's identity for his own personal benefit. So nothing that comes out of his mouth can be trusted. So the only thing that can be trusted are the actual facts and the behavior, not the verbal wishes. So no, you can pull credit reports on your kids. You can freeze credit reports on your kids. I have done it. And I would to make sure, I mean, if he says he paid it off, who knows? You know, so I would pull those credit reports to see what the status is for your kids. I would file a criminal on him. I'd have the police. I'd set him up to say, hey, somebody stole my kid's identity. Oh, it was him. Absolutely. And then let him figure that one out.

definitely so because i don't want this guy near them again this is unbelievable carlo is in miami hey carlo what's up i hope all you doing are well we are so um i wanted to ask your opinion um my mom in february late february she passed away from her 10-year cancer battle i'm sorry and i appreciate it on and in her passing um big family squabbles with the scraps left behind. Long story short, I have $110,000 sitting in my bank account. My wife and I tomorrow are going to go get a biopsy for her. They think she possibly might have cancer.

And her father that lives with us, his cancer came back and we're dealing with that. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, it's been a rough 2025. but we're still blessed to be here and making decisions and trying to make things better. So I assume you and your wife have health insurance. Yes, sir. Yes. Does her father have health insurance?

Does her father have health insurance? Yes, sir. Okay. All right. So my biggest dilemma is this. I've always been a saver. I believe on baby step number five, if not six, we're doing rather well. We just turned 40 this year, and I'm trying to balance keeping funds in the reserve for if things go south and living life now.

We had a hard time with that with my mother. You know, traveling with her at the end was very difficult, but we made it happen, and we made our memories. Okay. I'm sorry, what an amazing amount of challenges. I would just throw that in a high-yield savings account for six months. Because in six months, you're going to have a lot more information on both of these situations. Okay? You know, how expensive a fight have we got?

How long a fight have we got? And how much are we going to look at alternative solutions that our insurance won't cover? Okay. And that would be true in either case, but certainly true in your wife's case, right? And then with her dad, does he have money and how much is he going to, you know, above it, is out of pocket after insurance? And then is he going to try or do anything other than that that is going to be expensive, okay? Well, he doesn't have much. He lives with us.

We have in-laws quarters. And he has Medicare and Medicaid, so most of, and all of his treatments have been. you know, covered from that. Yeah. It's just, you know, I want to do right by him. He's been a workhorse, much like my mother, his whole life working. Yeah, but I don't think that, I don't think you're going to have $100,000 of medical bills with him. No, no, no, no, absolutely not.

Okay. But, you know, I don't know what the future holds. So, you know, I have the monies right now in a Schwab account. I could put that in a high-yield savings. Yeah, I just put it in high-yield savings. And just forget it's there. It's just sitting there. And then as soon as you actually can quantify these situations a little bit in terms of how long is this going to, how long are we going to be in this fight, and what's the actual out-of-pocket expense from these two different fights, then that tells you if you can invest and begin to do some other things with some of that money.

Well, let's pretend, let's pretend that it's a minor issue with your wife. Okay. Okay. And it's nothing. We're done. Six months from now, it's way in the rearview mirror. The biopsy was benign, no problems, no issue. We're done. Okay? We had a few hundred dollars and deductibles or whatever. Some co-pays. We're done. Then you don't have to worry about this $100K for that purpose. I'm not going to leave it around for vague worries, but I'm going to leave it around for specific worries. Well, one of the reasons why I've left it there in that account also is she's attempting to do a career change, which is drastically going to change her income. She currently makes about $100,000 a year, and her career change could drop us about $30,000 a year. So it's a pretty big shortfall.

Can you not live on what you make? Well, in Miami, it's a little... Can you not live on what you make with her career change? Yes. If you can't, she doesn't need to do the career change. Yeah. I mean, it is a luxury, and she wants to do it to be home more. Luxury is fine, but if you can't live on it, you can't do it.

Yeah. Because if you've got to feed your household $30,000 a year, in three years, this money's gone, and then you're screwed. You've got a burn rate on this, man, so you don't create sustainability from savings. That's a completely different subject than you called with, but, yeah, you've, you've, You've got to create a budget that you guys can live on. So if you can afford to live on without touching this money, her career change, she can do it. If you can't, she can't do it. Or you guys change lifestyles.

You got to change something. Yeah, but this $100,000 is not going to save you on that. I'm not even going to come close. So, no, that won't work. But having it set aside to make sure you turn the corner on some cancer diagnoses, until you turn the corner, I'd let it sit there. Welcome back to the Ramsey show, Rachel Cruz. Ramsey Personality number one bestselling author is my co-host today.

Open phones at AAA 825-5-225. Melissa's in New Jersey. Hi, Melissa, how are you? Hi, how are you? Better than I deserve. What's up? So my husband and I have been married for 18 years. We have a separate accounts.

I'm a teacher. He was a construction manager, a project manager, for a long time. Now he's got laid off from two jobs within the past two years, and now he's self-employed, and he's building a business on his own. In that process, we had our rental property that we originally lived in when we first got married. We had two kids, two family home.

We bought it together after we got married, and the down payment was, an account that my husband had, it was $50,000. His dad died when he was around nine years old. And the mother put all of the father's social security check into an account to help it grow. And that's what he wanted to use that account for to put the down payment on that house. Then we remodeled it with our wedding money. We lived in it for about 10 years. And then we bought a single family home, but we kept it as.

rental. So our only joint account was where the house rental income was going into. When I was not working because I was a stay-at-home mom for 10 years, we also had a joint bank account that was originally his and he just added me on. Gotcha. What's your question, honey? My question is, is we sold our rental property and we He told me it was going into the joint account, and I was sitting at the Starbucks signing papers, and the $475,000 that we made on the house was going into his only account, his sole account. Why did you sign the paper? Because he told me that we would lose our house, we would lose everything,

because we have no money to live on, which we didn't. We would have to sell our house. Well, you wouldn't lose everything. If he just changed the account and put it into the joint. account? Well, he didn't. No, I'm just saying. I wouldn't sign the papers until he did. Why didn't you say that? Because our dynamic is based on a lot of intimidation and fear. And I, so when is the divorce? I know. Well, I trusted him to take care of our finances because he's very financially savvy and that's, you know, we kind of have our roles and we kind of let each other take care of

or, you know, what we, our strengths are. But now he won't let me see the money. He told me the money is his and his mother's money. It's not my money. He did all the remodeling on the house. He's confused. So I don't know what my rights. I don't know what to do.

The only rights you have are in divorce court. Okay. Okay. That's the only place you're going to get, that's the only place you're going to get a legal right. Yeah. You have moral and ethical rights, but he's ignoring those. Yeah.

But New Jersey will take half of that money and give it to you. Yeah. I mean, I don't know what he did with it. I have no access to anything. He has stock accounts, investment accounts. Divorce requires discovery, and if he hides any of that, it's a criminal act. Right. Well, he says that I am a teacher because I put myself through school.

Did you not hear me? I know. Half of this is yours. I know. Okay. Then quit acting like you have to go do all this. What he says doesn't matter. I know.

When the law tells him what to do, it's going to be interesting for him. You're right. Yeah. I mean, you know, it's up to him. Does he want to? I mean, this is a marriage issue, Melissa, obviously. You got, you guys do not have, you have very little marriage left. Absolutely.

It's hanging on by threat. Are you? Are you wanting something different? Like, what are you thinking? Do you feel? I want a divorce, but I'm afraid that I'm going to have nothing. We live a very, very nice life. The only way you would have nothing is if he hides at all and your attorney's so weak,

he lets him get away with it. Yeah. Yeah. Are you working now, Melissa? Probably a million. Yeah, yeah. I make, he was, when he was a project manager about two years ago, he made about almost $218,000 a year, and I, um, right now make about $80,000 a year.

I'm a teacher, but the, the bills that I, my bills that I pay toward the house and whatever random needs my, I have two teenagers, whatever they need, by the end of the day, I don't have much money to put a way to save for myself. Okay. Here's what he says, you know, you, you have a job. You can pay for it when I ask him for money. That's exactly what he says. Yeah.

He says, he's not a pleasant human being to be around, yeah. Yeah, he says you should be giving me money now. You know, let me take, here's, when you, when you're overwhelmed, what you need are, is information and facts, and information or facts that are coming from him are not information or facts because we know him to not be a reliable source, okay? I'm not a lawyer in New Jersey, but you need one. So if you go sit down with an attorney and say, okay, here's what I do know.

I know we had this 475, I know we had this stock account, I know we had this, how can I be protected in this process, and the attorney will explain it to you what the laws are in New Jersey. You can have a consultation with an attorney, a divorce attorney, and it probably won't cost you a dime to do the consultation. and gather information because you're functioning in fear, not on facts. And when you're in trauma, when you're in a dramatic situation like this, your emotions are making the decisions and they're not making good decisions because they're not based on facts. And so if you just cut through all that and go, facts are my friends, facts are my friends.

The way he makes me feel is not a fact. That's a feeling. Right. the way I the fear of he may stole all this money I may never get any of it I may be broke I may be homeless that's not a fact that's a fear okay the facts are you have a teaching job it's really good the facts are that New Jersey requires child support to be paid when you have teenagers the facts are that New Jersey will require some kind of property disposition probably around 50% each those are the facts now once you have those facts and you can you go, gosh, half this money is mine. The law says that. Now then you can go back and say, Bubba, if we're going to keep this together,

we're going to have to go see a marriage counselor and everything in this house is going to change. Otherwise, we're not going to be able to keep this together. I've spoken with a divorce attorney and I have an appointment with a marriage counselor. Which one do you want me to go to? Yeah. Yeah.

I'm going to do that, yeah. But you do all that from knowledge, which will make you much calmer. Yeah. Okay? Yeah. Because all these things are spinning out in your head, and he's activating a four-year-old version of little Melissa who thinks she's going to be on the street. Yeah. You're not, honey.

You're going to be okay. And I hope you don't have to go through this. I hope the guy can be woke up and you can save your marriage. That would be neat. But at this moment, you don't want to be married. to him, I can hear it. And nobody does. Nobody wants to be married to the guy you've described for the last few minutes.

So I'm so sorry. But yeah, go get some actual information, and that gives you power. Coordinating a Financial Peace University class is a great way to stay motivated on your own baby steps journey while you help other people. When you lead a class, you get access to the, P.U lessons, the premium version of every dollar, and additional content and perks all for free for an entire year. You also get support from a community of other coordinators and our team of experts, resources to help you lead the class. So far this year, we've seen over $100 million in debt paid off and money saved in FPU classes.

If you have a passion for serving other people, this is a great way to do it. Go to Ramsey Solutions.com slash FPU. Get your first class started now. Brian's in Minnesota. Hey, Brian, how are you? Hey, I'm doing good. How about yourself, Dave? Better than I deserve.

What's up? Yeah, I've got a quick question for you, I guess. So I'm in a predicament. It's not necessarily a bad one. So I am 26 years old. About household five years ago on the market, it was pretty cheap. I have $130,000 in savings doing nothing for me. I only have $95,000 left on the mortgage.

So I guess my question was, what's your opinion on what I should do is if I should pay it. off earlier with the money I have saved. Should I invest in something or just keep it in a high-ed-old savings account? Where'd you get $130,000? I'm very frugal. I'm a good stayer. I've worked for every penny of it, and nothing's been handed to me, and, yeah, it's good to save the money, I guess.

You're single? I know I get married actually next December. Oh, congratulations. Does she have any debt? No, she's got no debt at all. She makes $80,000 a year, and, Yeah, I guess we don't know what to do right now. Sounds like a match made in heaven.

I'm saying, but it's kind of too good to be true. It's kind of what now. So I don't want to be sitting there wasting money, but my mortgage is only 3%. And at the bank, I'm getting 4% on my money. Yeah. So I'm like, well, I could tie my house off and live pretty generous seriously with my life. I obviously have some kids and go from there. Yeah.

But I guess I'm kind of stuck on what I should do. Okay. if I woke up in your shoes after doing what I do for 35 years I would write a check today and pay off your house and I'd have no payments take your shoes off walk through the backyard you'll find the grass feels different I thought about doing it yet I just got out after the past week and now the nightmare and a half something like the biggest gamble I've been through before and I'm like you know I just want me to be done with this alone I'll just be done but each month you know I've been telling people to pay off their mortgages in situations like this for 30 years I have never had someone call me back and say, gosh, I really regret doing that.

That was bad advice. That's like six then, right? I've never had somebody tell me it was a bad idea. And by the way, Brian, if you hate being debt-free, you can always go get you into the mortgage. So I would write a check and pay it off today, hon. Amen. How old are you? Well done, Brian.

Yeah, that's very cool. Good for you. Rick's in Las Vegas. Hey, Rick, how are you? Hey, Dave. Hey, Rachel. Thanks for taking my call today. I appreciate it.

Sure. How can we help? So I have a 401K question for you. I'm just trying to plan for next year. I maxed on my 401K every single year, not only as an individual, but from the company contributions as well. This year it was 23,500 for individual and I think 46,000 from the company, so 70 grand total. My question is, next year, I'm debating on whether I want a front load at all by February. we get a huge profit-sharing check every single year, and I max it out in February.

Is it better to do that, or is it better to spread it out throughout the year? Well, we have taught in our world dollar cost averaging for so long that people sometimes avoid the lump sum, and that's kind of what brings your question to bear. So what I do is I fully fund mine in the first month. the year. Okay. And the reason is this. Okay. The only reason you would spread it out throughout the year is if emotionally you can't handle the stock market going up and down and you're going to freak out. But that doesn't bother me a bit because I don't even look at it. I just put it in there and I'm thinking I'm probably never going to touch it. I'm probably putting it in there for Rachel's

kids because I'm not probably going to use that money anyway. But the, um, and Denise and Daniel's kids. but anyway, it's not just Rachel's kids, but the Rachel's kids are like, woo-hoo, yeah, Papa Dave, yeah, but anyway, the, yeah, so the point being that mathematically, even if the market goes down right after you put it in, by the end of the year, it will have gone up more than it went down 90% of the time. That's the history of the stock market, okay? Okay. And so, you know, sometimes you get a bear market that lasts over 12 or 14 months, but very seldom.

You know, if you go back and look at the track record of the stock market, look at the S&P charts, okay, and, and, you know, look at how many times, you know. So what ends up happening is, is the entire lump sum is earning money all year, or one-twelfth of the lump sum is earning money, then two-twth is earning money, then three-twth is earning money, then three-12th. is earning money and then four twos is earning money so the point is i'm making those s mp returns for 12 months while someone that's spreading it out is not getting the same dollar result that i'm getting that makes sense sure yes it does so i lump summit for that reason but you can't do that if you can't emotionally handle two months later trump burps and the market goes down you know or he throws a tariff on some bizarre country that we never heard of and the market goes down you know or whatever it is right and so you don't know what's going to happen out there on the

short term and so you can't be freaking out all the time if you're doing that yeah but you lump some ears at the first don't yes and depending on age for sure that your mindset should always be long term right i mean if you're you know 61 and you're looking at retiring next year you know there's something there yeah so i mean like it's it's there's not really a point unless you're 58 that's right 49 and a half or whatever, yeah. In my case, I could touch you if I wanted to because I'm 65. Which would be, I could see that having a different psychology. But when you're younger than that, you know, when you're in your 40s, 50s, 30s, all of it, you know, it's long term anyway.

If you're not thinking in five-year blocks of time or longer, you shouldn't be putting in a 401. That's right. That's right. Even at my age. You need to be thinking long term. And so I'm thinking past my death because, again, I'm probably not going to ever touch that money. I've got plenty of other stuff generating income without touching that. And so that money probably is all in Roth too.

So it's all going to pass completely tax-free. It's awesome. So, yeah, that another reason I won't be touching it. So, yeah, that's the thing, which also kind of, we can sobbar on that for a second, Rachel, it's a good teaching point. And I didn't think about this when I was your age and teaching this stuff and I was your age in doing this stuff and building the wealth. but now that I as I'm hitting these milestones 65 and all that I'm starting at 72 and a half

you have if you have traditional IRAs or 401ks that have not yet been taxed you have required minimum distributions that are beginning you have to begin to take it out because the government wants their tax money if it's in a Roth it is growing tax free and there's no RMDs no required minimum distributions. I have moved over the years 100% of ours into Roth and paid the taxes on those lump sums as I did that. Even the matching portion at Ramsey where I match myself has to be, it's required to be traditional. But each year, I roll it to Roth. Yeah. So I don't have anything that's not Roth now at my age. So this is really beautiful. Not only is all that growing tax free for me, but then also I don't have RMDs. I wouldn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't

What are they? Yeah. It's just a required number. No, no, no. What's the dollar amount? The dollar. It's a chart. It's a percentage.

Percentage of what's in there. It's more each year, okay? Because they want to get their taxes. Yeah. They're going to require you to begin to cash out traditional. But if it's not traditional, you're not required to take it out. And it's continuing to grow tax-free. And with the new Biden Secure Act, the legislation was passed under President Biden.

If you do an inherited IRA and it's a traditional. All the taxes are due within 10 years. You have to cash it out over 10 years. If it's a, there's no taxes due on a Roth, none of that applies. So when I do leave it to you, the kids, as an inherited IRAs, a beneficiaries, then that there's zero tax on it. None and no required distribution. So getting that stuff moved into Roth as you get old. If you can pay the taxes, if you can figure out a way to pay the taxes, it voids all that stuff.

I didn't even think about all that stuff when I was in my 30s. I was just chunking money in there, like crazy. And now I look back and go, man, that Roth stuff's freaking genius. Seven out of ten Americans die without a will. Listen, if you hate your family, make a big old pile of money, make it real complicated, and die without a will. They will fight for the next 15 years, and they'll hate each other. you will completely shut down all their productivity because they'll be screwing with your stuff.

Unbelievable. Howard Hughes, one of the richest men in America at that time, died with $2.5 billion in 1979. It took almost 10 years to settle. 600 people filed a claim. 22 of his legal cousins ended up with the money. We split among 22 people. The judge finally decided almost a decade later.

Guess who got most of the money? the lawyers. That's how that works. So if you want to do that, that's fine, but that's called dumb. Okay. Get a will. I love it. In less than five minutes, you can find out if an online will works for you at

Ramsey Solutions.com slash will quiz or click the link in the description if you're listening on YouTube or podcast. It is your job to love your family well. Make sure you have life insurance and you have a will. So when you go, we'll knock 25% off a will. If you want to do one online, we'll help you do that. And you'll use the promo code, Will Month, because August is created a will month. Will month.

Michelle's in North Carolina. Hi, Michelle. What's up? Hi, guys. Thank you so much for taking my call. I'm honored to be talking to both of you. You too. How can we help?

My boyfriend and I started dating in April, and we're really in love and thinking about getting married this October. he's in about $60,000 worth of debt, and I'm out of consumer debt. I just have my mortgage. I have about a $500,000 net worth with my house and my retirement. And my parents helped me buy my house as a gift. And my dad is saying that I should get a pre-up before getting married, especially because we haven't been dating that long. So I'm wondering what your old's thoughts would be on that.

I mean, yes, you started dating and we'll get married within six months. months is that right yeah seven but yeah okay yeah yeah how old are you 34 okay um wow well the thing is your dad just doesn't trust the situation yeah that I get yeah and if you don't trust the situation you should get a pre-nup but if you don't trust the situation you probably should be engaged a little longer until you trust the situation. Yeah. Yeah, one thing I'm worried about is this would be his second marriage and he has a child from his previous marriage and he's been having some custody issues there.

So I'm definitely worried about what could happen with my finances and my home once we combine everything and, you know, if his ex-wife takes him for a long time. That's what you're marrying into that. Yeah. And so if he spends, you know, y'all, if you have combined finances and you all have to spend some money on custody, that's going to affect your income and your savings and your investments, right? It's not going to cause you to lose your home, but it is going to, you know, that's what

you're getting with the package. Yeah. For better for worse, for richer for poorer, and sickness and health, unto thee all my worldly goods, I pledge. That's the old marriage vows, remember them? Mm-hmm. Yeah. So, okay, our rule of thumb, when I first started, I told nobody, no one should get pre-nups

because you're planning your divorce, and if you like your house more and you like him, you shouldn't get married. And that's what I used to tell everybody, okay? I don't say that anymore exactly that way. I have said that a couple times on weird things, like one lady called up and her boyfriend, her fiancee wanted a pre-nup because he had a vintage sports car that was worth $100,000. And I'm like he likes his car more than he does you you don't need to marry him and so that that I'm willing to say okay I come down on your dad's side almost on that so but what I where I have

um where I am trying to keep things moving is is not it's not assuming that you really feel a thousand percent about him that he's okay and he's aligned on getting out of debt staying out of debt living like you live you're going to live on a plan we're going to combine our finances we're going to make life together we're going to make decisions together in unity if he's completely trustworthy on that then the only reason i would do a pre-nup and if he's not by the way it's not ready to get married yeah okay and that's up that's something you got to solve and i'm not going to put you on the spot and ask you that here because i don't think that i don't think that's the case i i sense this guy's the way you're describing him is solid okay it means got outside issues the with the child

support possibly that kind of stuff but um so anyway uh uh the reason we tell people to do prenups these days is if there is an extreme difference in net worth okay he has negative he has a net negative net worth and you have 10 million dollars or five million dollars okay you don't you've got 500 thousand so it's not extreme, but it is enough that I get your dad, okay? I understand him thinking that. And your dad actually gave you the money to get this starting. So I get that too, okay? I'm not, I'm not mad at your dad on this. But so yours is not extreme, but the reason we tell people to do that when it's extreme is actually not the person you're marrying. I'm not trying to protect you from them.

I'm trying to protect you from his ex-wife thinks she can keep you guys in court forever because he married a girl's got some money. I don't want to send her that message. And he could just look at her and go, I don't have any access to this, I got a pre-nup, and shut her little emotions down because there's, or the crazy relative of whoever that comes along and thinks, oh, hey, this guy hit the jackpot, and you go, no, he's got a pre-nup. So that kind of helps the outside crazies more than the two of you. Does that make sense? Yeah, it does, yeah.

And so I, it's probably, it's probably a short timeline. Yeah. That's probably because, you know, if you had told me a little bit more lengthy engagement and you guys went through Financial Peace University together, you were completely aligned and you go through good, strong, pre-marriage counseling, I would probably say no. I'm on the bubble with yours, though. I might, I might in yours. I'm not, I wouldn't be, I wouldn't think you're stupid if you did it one way or didn't do it

the other, okay, if you do it or don't do it. So, I mean, if your dad thinks you're just crazy, I would disagree. of your dad okay but he if he's just saying this is a wise suggestion you should consider it then i would agree with him on that okay and if and also a wise suggestion is for you to you guys to spend some time in pre-marriage counseling and deal with okay what comes up when we got a 20,000 legal bill to fight the crazy X on the kid can you handle that emotionally and when you guys get married Michelle like to the point that you're so unified that the 60,000 dollars of debt is yours too. Yeah, you get it paid off immediately. Yeah, and you guys solve it together. And you get it paid off

immediate. That I'm on board with. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so if you guys can work through that kind of stuff, the length of the engagement becomes less stressful for me. I will tell you this. The data tells us, and there's lots of data on this, that a six-month engagement period and a three-to-four-month dating period prior to that, marriage within 12 months, being with it with in 12 months of meeting is has a very high probability of success and as you short as you shorten it statistically the probability of success goes down and as you lengthen it dramatically five-year engagements are bull crap okay painter get off the ladder right and so you know as you lengthen it it doesn't make sense because the relationship gets

strained for all these other reasons then we're just playing game so but anyway that's the data that we have on marriage stats and so you're you're a little bit short on that data it's not a deal killer but you know because that incorporates hey I met you last weekend let's go to Vegas and we're married you know those don't those only make it in the movies okay and because they wake up from the hangover and like oh what did I do they get an annulment like Rachel and Ross sometimes it works Rachel and Ross we have a friend's reference in the movie proud of you know that yeah so anyway all of that all end of speech Michelle so I hear what your dad's saying you hear what your dad's saying because you're you're not a child you're 34 years

old yep and so it's not you know I I think you solve for those concerns for you not for you not for your dad and if you can get to where yours a thousand percent solid if you want to not do one I'm okay and if you got a little itch and you want to do one that's okay but it's also an indication you probably need to do some more work before you go to the altar. Our scripture of the day, 2 Corinthians 1-4, he comforts us all in our troubles so that we can comfort others. When we're troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. Margaret Thatcher says no one would remember the Good Samaritan if he only had good intentions.

He also had money. Josh is with us in Arkansas. Hi, Josh. What's up? Hey, Dave. Thank you for taking my call. Sure. How can we help?

Well, my wife and I finally sat down yesterday evening and filled out the every dollar budget. And upon doing so, figured out that we have roughly $87,000 in consumer debt, auto loans, credit cards, secured loan, that kind of thing. That was an old crap moment. pay. Yes, you could say that. And we pay about $4,000 a month towards that debt. And we visited a little bit this morning about it. And she kind of seems to want to just like keep chipping away at it. And I'm of the opinion that we could get rid of the truck payment, get rid of the secured loan, which together are about $69,000 worth of that, and be in a much better position. And how would you do that?

What's the secured loan? So the secured loan is $32,000. It's in a private credit union. And one of the reasons she wants to keep it is they still pay us interest on the full amount, regardless of whether we borrow. Oh, so you have enough savings in there to cover it, and that's what's securing it. So you borrow your own money? Correct.

Yeah, okay. All right. So how much you guys have in savings total, Josh? Roughly $10,000? No, you got $30,000 over in the credit. In the savings total, in that account, 36. Okay. And you owe $32 on that.

Yes, sir. And then you've got a $69,000 truck that I guess you're driving. Well, that's the $37,000 truck. Oh, $37,000. Honestly, it's a part-time vehicle. I have a work truck that I drive most days. Okay. And your household incomes, what?

About a $160, $165. Okay. Our experience with this process is that people come to the right, right conclusions at different speeds. You went straight to, here's what we do, I'm going to fix this. She's still processing all of it. And so when she, I'm going to interpret her, I might be interpreting her wrong. Okay.

I think when she said, I want to chip away at this, she said, I'm still thinking this through. And for now, let's just kind of do our budget. like we just figured this out scary enough 12 hours ago yeah i've had a whole 12 hours to process this okay so i'm more wired like you josh isn't that i can make a decision in about 30 seconds if it's a wrong one i'll just make another one uh my wife on the other hand uh likes to cook for about three days before she comes to the same conclusion but if i if i try to get her there faster than she gets there things don't go well at the ramsay house and so um i've learned to slow down a little bit on that. The other thing that we find a lot of times with folks

that are brand new on this stuff is that it's real easy, again, for people that are wired like you, and you're not wired wrong, but it's just the difference in you and your wife. It's real easy to go straight to the tactical before we've clearly and thoroughly discussed the why. Well, to be fair, I'm part of the why. So I'm buy and sell vehicles. I mean, I don't know, why are we, no, no, no, no, why are we cleaning this up? Sure. Why does this matter? We want to build wealth.

Okay, good. Why do we want to build wealth? We want to build wealth so we can change our family tree. We have three precious kids. We don't want them to be broke. We want to leave an inheritance to our children's children. That's what a godly man does. Why are we doing this?

We want to do this so the stress is off our marriage. We want to do this so that we can be outrageously generous. We want to do this so that we can travel. And if you get those things all dialed in, in high definition and both of you are excited about where you're going then it's easier

to endure the pain to get there sure so you guys probably didn't spend enough time dreaming yet well I think kind of what I was getting at is she is probably concerned that I'm going to go you know two months

from now I'm going to go you know what I change my mind I want to get another truck yeah because I've done this before okay that's that's fair And, you know, if you say that out loud to her, they would probably give her comfort. Yeah. And that's fair. Yeah, the awareness of the patterns of what it was. Yeah, that's fair.

That I am aware of that patterns there, and I understand how this is not, I don't have credibility to talk about this. But here's the difference, honey. The difference is I was doing that in those days for one reason. Now we've got this big why that we've both agreed on. Okay. And in our case, we went broke, and for Sharon and I, we were very unified. on yelling at the mirror, never again. I will never be in a situation again

where some butthole banker puts his foot on my neck ever again. Redneck mad 35 years ago and I'm still pissed. You follow me? That was my wife. That was my wife. It drove me through this stuff. And Sharon had been so terrorized by the whole process that that was a fair why.

Other families that stand on the debt-free stage, they say it was for the kids. We had to change this for our family tree. It wasn't for our kids. Our kids just got the benefit of eating while we were doing it. I mean, that was it. We weren't like, who are the little children? We weren't that way.

We were like, no more freaking bankers. But other people are like the little children. I'm doing it for the children, you know. And it's okay. I don't care what your why is. It just needs to be big and noble. And to get you through the hard times. And that you're both aligned on it.

And so that if you went to go buy another truck later, she would go, yeah, but we agreed on the why, and that truck's messing up my why. We're not doing that. And she could call you out on the Hawaii, not the truck. Okay. And if you guys, so I think if you'll let her cook a little, number one, number two, you hide definition in detail, write it down, put pictures up of the trip we want to go on, we want to do a worldwide cruise. I don't care what your why is. It just needs to be a real driving reason to get the mess cleaned up so that we can get to do that thing or be that thing.

Okay. Okay. And when you guys do that together, then she's willing to sell your truck. Then she's willing to give up the thing. But yeah, if she both of her not wanting to do both of those things probably easily could go back to, she's worried you're going to want to go back and get another truck. For sure. She's trying to keep money in the credit union, even though it's secured against it.

Yeah. Just to keep you from getting another truck. So the more time that passes, the more intense she's going to get because the more she's going to trust, you're not going back to your own ways. Yeah. Yeah. And Josh, have a really detailed plan out of like, okay, how per month, what do we think we can put at this debt? If we sell this, this, this, like start to map out some actual plans very tactically, very detailed. And I think that helps too, because conceptually, if it's like, we'll just cut our lifestyle and the grocery budget needs to be cut and how.

half and you know, you start thinking through these things, it can be way more difficult because you almost can't even see the end or the process of how to get there. You're just kind of like looking at today and you're like, oh gosh, that's going to be hard. So the whole plan has to be fleshed out. And the end of the plan is the why, exactly what you're saying. And then if you get off that plan to go do something stupid, you can call each other out. Or if life happens, you pause the plan to figure out life and then you go right back on. We do that together. We do that together. You don't get to go, oh, I changed my mind. I'm not doing this whole thing we laid out. Well, the only reason I agreed to the whole thing was we laid it out and we're

sticking to it. And so then you've got a thing. It's a plumb line. It's your guidance mechanism and you're sticking to the whole thing. Rachel's exactly right. But the encouraging thing though is that 32 out of the 87 is going to be cleared up because you have 36. So that's four and then you have another 10. That's 14,000. And you get rid of 37,000 truck, the whole thing. I mean, you could really make a bunch of progress real fast. Yes. Yeah. So I don't disagree with your tactics, but I'm trying to help you understand, and I'm trying to understand with you why she's tapping the brakes here. And I think we, I think we discovered that. So that's a great call, Josh. And you guys are going to do great. You're going to be fabulous. That puts us our

The Ramsey Show in the books. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace Christ Jesus.