The Ramsey Show - App - Live Like No One Else So Later You Can Buy the Sports Car (Hour 3)

Episode Date: October 4, 2021

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Thank you. Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studio, it's The Ramsey Show, where America hangs out to have a conversation about your life and your money. I'm Ramsey Personality, George Campbell, and I'm joined today by Ramsey Personality, Christy Wright. We are taking your calls this hour, 888-825-5225. What do you want to talk about? What is the burning question on your mind? What do you need confirmation for? A little bit of guidance, a little bit of wisdom.

That's where Christy comes in. I'm here for entertainment. I'm just eye candy. We are happy to take your calls, and we are kicking off this hour with alessandra in mccallan texas welcome to the ramsey show hi good afternoon um so uh i just want to say i'm like a huge fan i listen to the show all the time and if anything dave ramsey's voice kind of feeds my crying baby. I'm known to anger babies.

I anger babies and Dave calms them. How can we help? Yeah, I'm calling because my husband and I, this past year, I believe it was right after COVID had hit, like around March of 2020 until this past November, right? So it's going to be about a year already. We paid off all of our debt. Like throughout the pandemic, like we just went at it hard. Like, I mean, we got rid of $47,000 worth of debt.

That was student loans. That was our car. Pretty much just student loans and our car. That was pretty much it. But we tackled it. We got rid of it. So we've been breathing just a lot easier since then. It's been really great.

We had a baby. Our pregnancy was awesome. Like we didn't have to worry about money, nothing. Like we saved up just to pay the hospital bills. All of it was taken care of. Now, my husband just told me that he has, and I've always known this, he's always wanted to go to grad school and become an engineer. And so I'm super supportive of his decision. We were crunching the numbers this past weekend, and now we have anxiety.

We currently make about, we currently bring home $5,400 every month. Our expenses are almost $3,000, right? And so the idea is if he goes back to school, I really want him to focus on school. It's a two-year graduate school program. It's going to cost us $20,000 and I want him to stop working. I would be our sole provider and our bills are about $3,000. So, I mean, what I make is $3,000 a loan every month and our bills are $3,000. So, it's like we're going to be living, like, being able to pay our bills and everything, but it's like, I don't, I'm, we're kind of nervous, you know, and we do want him to stop working. And see, the problem is that do I stop maybe putting into my 401k so we can make a little more or my dad has just offered to give us a credit card um and that's just it's very

I don't like any of these options so far I want to call out one thing in your question Alessandra because I think this is interesting the way that you set this up and I just want to dig into this a little bit were very much I statements I want him to stop working and I want to be the sole provider and I want him to focus on school what does he want in relation to school I mean I think he wants the same I know we shouldn't use I mean we're a team and everything and I just um I know he wants to stop working but I also know that for him it's hard to see me as just like the full provider just because he's like we have a new baby and I see him now he's just so like focused on giving us a better future which is why I think he wants to go

to grad school so bad like I think I just want to be as supportive as possible what I'm willing to be like full provider I love that you'm willing to be like sole provider. I love that. You're willing to be, but in your question, you pointed out that what you make is what your expenses are and it would be tight. It would be tight and you have a baby. It would be tight and there would be some discomfort there. So my question is, instead of these extremes of you're the sole provider, money is really tight and he works full time.

What if there's a compromise where yes yes, you work, and he also works? It might be part-time, or he extends the graduate program. I don't know if that's a possibility, but I'm in graduate school right now taking one class at a time. It's going to take me five years, but that's the time I can commit. I know all the programs are not the same. I understand that. But my question is, there are people that work during school all the time.

Maybe it's not full time to your point where it would really be, that would be exhausting, but I could see him working 10 or 20 hours a week. And just that amount of money that he would be bringing in, in a part-time job would give you a little bit of margin where you're not so stressed where, cause I'm just trying to get you out of that position where it's like yeah we're going to do this and it's going to be miserable when you don't have to be you guys have done a great job you can do this either at a slower pace or with him working a little bit or both by the way where you can enjoy the process he's still focusing on school and you're still super supportive but it's just not these extremes

george you know what i'm saying like where it's I'm saying? I think there's a lot more options here to Christy's point. Have you done all the research you can as far as what are the right schools for this? Does the education match the goals? Are there cheaper options? Are there more flexible options? What is driving you to this specific school? Mostly because it's cheaper. It's one of the cheapest schools that we can find in Texas, and we're going to pay for it. We're paying out of pocket. Our goal is $20,000 to save up $20,000 before he goes. We're right now at $12,000, so we're almost there. So you're saying when you get to $20,000, you can cash flow the whole thing, but he still has to stop working, but you don't

have the payment for school there. So your expenses, it might get a stop working, but you don't have the payment for school there. So you could, your expenses, you know, it might get a little tighter, but you may not need all that margin because you're not then saving for school. Yeah, like we're done saving. Like, I mean, ideally, like I want, well, we really, really want to like have that 20 grand set aside. And so it was like the semester start, we just paid in full, paid in full, paid in full. So that way we can leave work and be comfortable. But again, like I said, like Chrissy pointed out, like, I don't know, just that margin of like. Do you have an emergency fund in place?

Yeah, we have $15,000 set aside. Great. And I would not pause investing. I want you guys to keep doing this. You're not at a place where this is some emergency fire. You're so close to being able to cash flow this. Yeah, no credit cards. None of that. We can do this. You guys know the plan. You've done it. You've done so well. You've done so well. The only thing I think that we want to point out is we don't want you to make a decision that's so extreme where you're just miserable and so tight the next two and a half years. Is there a way for you to still reach the school goal and have a little bit of margin?

Yeah. Maybe he can continue working part-time. Maybe you can pick up some extra hours to create a little bit of that breathing room so that you guys don't have this anxiety looming in your life when every check is just so tight. But I think this is absolutely doable. You guys got this. I think you just needed a little bit of confirmation that you need to make the right steps here, not go into debt, no credit cards, don't pause investing. You're so close.

You're already at $12,000. You need $20,000, and you have the margin in your budget to get there really quickly and get him through grad school. The other thing that may just help is maybe you say maybe he stops working right when classes start and you give him two months to get into the program the learning curve learning how to be a student again there's some learning but once he gets the rhythm like okay these are the hours this is the homework this is the then now i know hey on saturdays i can take a full part-time job or on these evenings once he gets his his his bearings he probably can take on some hours and that will help but yeah maybe there's a period of time where he gets gets to being a student again. Yeah. And you guys have that conversation.

Get on the same page. No surprises. Set the expectations. Communicate regularly. And he'll get through grad school in no time. Awesome job. In an uncertain world, being a good steward of your money is more important than ever. While some circumstances can't be controlled, there are items within your budget you can take charge of, such as your health care costs. For nearly 40 years, Christian Health Care Ministries, or CHM, has provided a budget-friendly means of sharing for medical bills when our members need it. Learn more by visiting chministries.org slash budget. That's chministries.org slash budget.

Christian Health Care Ministries is a Ramsey trusted provider. This is the Ramsey Show. I'm George Campbell, Ramsey personality, joined today by Christy Wright. 888-825-5225. Call us with your questions about money, life, whatever is on your mind. Andy is on the line in Atlanta, Georgia. Andy, welcome to The Ramsey Show. Thank you very much. I'm a huge fan and follower of Dave's steps for many years since I, a while back, quit my job to gain ownership in a business and took like a 75% pay cut for a while.

So the envelope system got us through. Awesome. Cool to hear. How can we help today? Well, so I went through that period of time to gain ownership in a business. I've been able to turn the business around and grow it relatively significantly. So I'm no longer at the 75% pay cut level. And I've been a lifelong saver. We're debt free, have been for years. House has paid off. We could technically retire if we needed to.

I'm 54. But anyway, we're to a point where, I mean, our kids' college is all funded. I got two in college. And I'm wondering, at what point is it okay to, or how do you get over the guilt when you want to buy yourself a toy? I've never done it. I've always put the money in the bank. I've always saved it. I've always been the responsible one. But darn it, I want a mid-engine Corvette. There we go. Say it out loud, Andy. So you guys have been so diligent for so long that now you're like, I can't seem to let go of this money, even though I saved, I worked so hard. It just feels

frivolous. I love how Andy said, how do you get over the guilt? I was like, what guilt, Andy? I've never felt it. Where is this guilt coming from? I'm a spender, Andy. The fact that you said that shows that you're just such a saver, which is what's led to your success today. So well done. Yeah. Well, you know, what helps me is taking some of the emotion out of it, taking the guilt out and just looking at hard numbers. And we've got some parameters to help you, you know, make a wise decision here. So what is your annual income? Well, all right, I'll say it varies, but it's going to be between $275 and $350.

Wow, fantastic. And how much does this car cost? About $85 out the door. Okay. And do you have any other vehicles right now? Anything with a motor in it, boats, any other toys? Yeah, one other vehicle. We actually just gave our senior in college our older car for his great success in college. So we're down to one Kia that we paid cash for. Wow. What's that Kia worth?

Probably about $20,000. Okay. So if you got this $85,000 Corvette, that leaves you with about $105,000 worth of cars, and that's it? Nothing else with motors in it? No, no, no. And you make up to $350,000 a year? Yes. Andy, it's an easy decision for me. You're fine.

You know the answer. The answer is yes, you can buy the car. But the real question is, how do I get over the guilt about buying this car? Well, the other thing is, and believe me, I went over the numbers with my wife. Because I just did the profit sharing for the business. And, I mean, that alone pays for the car. But I did this with my wife. But my wife, if you think I'm a saver, you ought to see my wife. She's a bigger saver. Well, our general parameter –

She's on board, but – Okay. She's on board. Our parameter is that we don't want more than 50% of your income tied up in things with motors in it because they go down in value. And so sometimes it helps to look at this from a give, save, spend perspective. If you want to make this a more wise decision, make you feel better about it, go ahead and give a portion of that profit sharing and be generous with it. And then you'll feel a little more free to spend some of it.

And you already have plenty of savings, it sounds like. You guys can retire early. You've done so well. Now is the time to enjoy this stuff. A lot of people, they go through life and they work so hard. Their fists are closed. They're just clenched working their whole lives. And you guys have earned this. This is not a frivolous purchase. Now, if you were calling me and you were a 22-year-old who had student loan debt and said, hey, I want to buy an $85,000 Corvette, I'd smack him upside the head. But Andy, I want to give you a high five and take a ride in that thing. Here's the other thing, Andy.

If you're like my husband and how he's wired, he's the saver in our relationship, and he hates spending money. Even if we have the money, even if we budget it, we're on the same page, it's something we want, we need, whatever. I remember we moved in our house, and we wanted to get a TV for the bonus room, and he wanted to get this big flat screen TV. We absolutely had the money.

We budgeted. He still was torn up about spending his money. But after we got it, he loved watching football games on his TV. I think you're going to love having it. This is something you want. You've worked really hard your whole life to save and be wise. You're debt free. Your home is paid for.

You have an incredible income. Yes. Yes, you can enjoy some of it. And that's part of it. So maybe for you, because you're such a saver, Andy, maybe you start to anticipate the reward, anticipate, man, this can be so fun to have. And to your point, George, you have worked for it, Andy. You have worked for it, you have earned it, and you should enjoy some of the fruits of your labor, some of the fruits of your hard work. Way to go. Inspiring stuff. That is so cool. It's so funny how different people are wired differently of the savers and the spenders.

The savers, even if they have the money, they struggle to spend it. The spenders, even if they have the budget, they struggle to save. So it's in our wiring. But, hey, it's what he values, and he's worked really hard for it. Yeah, so cool. We love to see it. All right, Tony joins us in Los Angeles, California. Tony, welcome to The Ramsey Show.

Hi, thank you so much for having me. Sure, what's going on? Well, it's a relationship question. I've been with my now-fiancee for about 11 years. Off and on, we broke up for two and got back together three years ago. We've met, we're now engaged. And so now in the process of getting ready for the wedding and everything, I come to find out that asking questions about money. And I come to find out that he's living paycheck to paycheck. He has no money saved.

And I just don't know if I should continue in this relationship. I'm really scared of not being in a stable relationship. And I don't know that. I just don't know that if I can continue. I'm really scared now. Tony, I want to ask a question that's not a money question. Why are you getting married? Why are you marrying him?

I do love him, but this really, it made me scared of, like, what our future is going to be like. Because, I mean, I'm already older. I'm already 44. He's 48. And love doesn't pay bills. I'm sorry. I sound really mean, but I just, I don't, I've already been married once before and I don't want to, I don't want to struggle. Yeah. I don't blame you for that. I'll tell you

in your question, the thing that concerns me, yeah, there's the, how he handles money to me. That's secondary, George. Um, it's the fact that y'all have been on again off again for 11 years that's always a red flag to me why are we off why are we on why are we off and on and on and off and i don't i don't know about that to me i don't know about that it's only it's only happened one time um we were together for close to seven years and then we broke up for two years and then we got back together recently. And that's where we've been together now for three years. But why were y'all together for seven years and never got engaged when you're in your, what would that be, 30s?

Yeah, and that's exactly why we broke up was because I found that there was no end goal. And to me, if I'm going to be in a relationship like we need to ultimately get married I'm not going to just be your girlfriend for the rest of our lives so then why'd y'all get back together because he had committed to me that that was what our that was going to happen we were going to get married every you know he had made it seem like financially he was doing better. He was starting to earn more money. And so I thought, okay, well. And, you know, he had a big temper, and I saw a change in him actually fixing his anger issues. Yeah. Tony, Tony, let me just tell you what I'm hearing in this.

I'm hearing 50,000 red flags. Anger, money, noncommittal. You can go to a counselor if you want to. I don't think you you're ready to marry him i don't think he's ready to marry you maybe ever but certainly not right now if he wanted to get his act together maybe i'm a kind of person where i'm like you've shown me who you are you've shown me for the last 11 years that's me but if you want to work out talk to a counselor i definitely don't think you're ready right now i got i got red flags going up everywhere right now on this one people always say when i get this promotion i'll be able to make a real impact wrong when you make a solid plan on how you need to grow, you can become the leader you want to be.

And that's why Ken Coleman, America's career coach and national best-selling author, wrote his new book, From Paycheck to Purpose, The Clear Path to Doing Work You Love. And it's available for pre-order right now. If you want to grow or create a legacy in your career, you need this book. It's not just a concept. It's a proven, clear path that will walk anyone in any industry through a step-by-step plan to take their career to the next level. Plus, if you pre-order From Paycheck to Purpose today, you'll receive our Get Promoted bonus pack for free, which includes the audiobook, e-book, disc assessment, an exclusive talk from Ken, and access to our live event and more.

Pre-order from Paycheck to Purpose at Ramsey Show. I'm George Camel, joined by Christy Wright. Christy, before the break, we took a call from Tony in Los Angeles. And she just got engaged after being with this man for about 11 years, off and on. And she's worried because he's not good with money. He's living paycheck to paycheck and this is all coming out very recently yeah and here's the other thing and it was interesting as we dug into her question and right as we were going into the break she gave us some more

information that i'm like uh that's gonna be a no but we didn't really get to dig into it and she said his anger issues and so that was one major red flag on top of all the other ones but here's the thing i think i just want everyone to remember, and this is true for anyone in any situation. If you have a circumstance where you feel like, hmm, this doesn't feel right, it's because it's not right. Tony called us and she already knew that this is not a good idea. Now she's calling with a money question. It's wrapped in a money question. Hey, he's not good with money. We started digging. He has a commitment problem. He has got anger issues. There's so many layers to this that are so bad. And in my opinion,

anger issues way worse than being bad at money. You can fix the money thing. The anger issue is majorly concerning. And so I just want to encourage people, whether you're a person of faith or not, as a believer, I believe that is the Holy Spirit in us that guides us. It's like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, avoid that. Hey, hey, hey. It's to protect us. Even if you're not a person of faith, I think you would acknowledge we have intuition, whatever you want to call it, a conscience, a feeling.

I got a feeling. Something doesn't feel right. You might not be able to put words to it, but I just want to encourage people. You listen to that feeling. You listen to that intuition. You listen to the Holy Spirit. You listen to that because when you have a feeling something's not right, it's because it's not right. And that's just – I just couldn't stop thinking about Toni after we went into the break of just what a concerning situation that is that she's in. And just pay attention to that.

Pay attention to the red flags. Pay attention to that feeling. It's there to protect you. Yeah. And there are things like premarital counseling and Financial Peace University, which can be great tools, but at some point,

things may be too drastically different and jarring to try to repair, especially after over a decade. Well, if someone was just calling and they just said, hey, my fiance's not good with money. We discovered this in premarital counseling, for example. We haven't talked about money quite that much up to this point.

We're engaged and it turns out he's bad with money. That I'd be like, hey, people can learn. Maybe they don't know. Maybe they need to take a class. There's lots of wonderful people that would be wonderful spouses that just need help learning. That's what we help people do is learn this skill. But on and get off again for 11 years. wouldn't commit to being married after seven years and anger issues. The anger issues got me, George. I'm not gonna lie. The music started coming in

my ears and I was like anger and I didn't have time to dig it. But I was just like, no, no, no, not right now for sure on the money side. But with the anger issues, I'm like, not really ever, not really ever. You've shown me who you are. Um, I just, I just wanted to circle back and remind people if you have that feeling inside you that something's not right, it's because it's not right. Pay attention to that feeling. And Tony has that feeling. You could hear it in her voice when she called. Yeah. I hope she listens to it. It's a hard conversation to have to try to end something like this after 11 years. There's a little bit of that sunk cost fallacy where, you know, she's built her life with him.

She's 44 and he's 48. And you go, it's too hard to restart. But I'm telling you, Tony, it's never too late. And it's going to be worth it because you're worth it. It's better than the alternative, which is committing to a relationship that has some major problems at best and scary at worst. And, yeah, I'd rather start over than sign up for a life of that. So I hope she does. Yeah.

I hope she listens to that intuition. Our question of the day comes from Blinds.com. Find out for yourself why Blinds.com is the number one online retailer of custom window coverings. You get free samples, free shipping, and with the new promos they run every month, you'll save even more. Use promo code RAMSEY to get the best deal. and restrictions apply today's question comes from jennifer in tennessee lately when i buy things online i see that there's an option to break the cost up in payments rather than paying in full i'm not sure if it's a good idea to take advantage of these offers is doing this the same thing as putting something on layaway at the store this is an

interesting question i'll be honest george i don't know i don't know the terms around this i'm sure you do this is fine print material this is your specialty this got me riled up so yeah ready we just we just did a recent episode of this on the fine print it's called after pay affirm clarna should you buy now pay later say that again you lost me what these are the names of companies after pay affirm clarna these are the names you see below the Add to Cart button. Should you buy now, pay later. And we dug into this. And let me tell you, it's not good. I can tell by your tone that it's not good. First of all, their marketing is hilarious because they say they want to create financial freedom for their customers by chaining them to payments. And here's the company, Klarna,

here's what they claim to retailers because that's who their target demo is. You'll spend 45% more if you use a buy now, pay later service on your website. So every retailer in America is going, absolutely, you can be on my website and we'll give you a cut or we'll pay the fee, whatever that looks like. So to your question, Jennifer, no, it's not a good idea to, quote, take advantage. They are taking advantage of you. So we tell question, Jennifer, no, it's not a good idea to, quote, take advantage. They are taking advantage of you. So we tell people to budget, save up, pay cash. I know it can be tempting when you've got $100 in the cart and they say, hey, what if you just paid $25 today?

Free up that budget. Free up the money in the budget. Way wiser. No. This is payments. This is debt. And it's even worse than layaway because you get it now. And so there's this element of urgency that's just like, well, I already got it, and I'll just be stuck with the payments for another four months.

And so it just – I want to rally against this culture of consumerism that says I want it now, prime now, two hours now. I don't care if I don't have the money. I want it now. So stay away from buy now, pay later services. Only pay for it if you can afford it in cash with a debit card. That kind of thing. The thing that I think is just so important for people to remember behind any of these, whether it's credit card points, flyer miles, rewards, buy now, pay later, break it up in payments.

Guys, you just need to remember these people are not trying to help you. They're not your friend. They are not doing this out of the goodness of their sweet little hearts because they're just so generous. No, they're doing it because there's something in it for them, which is usually interest,

which is usually spending more, which is usually something that helps them and hurts you. They are not trying to help you. And so I just, it's good to remember that credit card companies are not in these giant buildings

spending billions of dollars a year on advertising because they're just losing money on the deal here. You're the one losing money. You can go check out that episode of The Fine Print wherever you listen to podcasts. All right, let's go to the phones here. We've got William in Dallas, Texas. William, welcome to The Ramsey Show. Hello.

Thank you for taking my call. Sure. How can we help? Okay. show hello thank you for um taking my call sure how can we help okay um i just changed jobs and um i'm looking to go back to school and i'm i'm um got a question or what should i prioritize um what should i have as as my focus well what what what give me the why. What's the back story there of why you're changing jobs, why you're going back to school? Well, I was in landscaping for a long time, and I kind of don't like working out in the heat, in Texas heat anymore, and I want to have a bigger impact than just working and wearing myself out.

Yeah, I totally get that. Here's what I would love to do for you, William. I would love to get you a pre-ordered copy of Ken Coleman's new book, From Paycheck to Purpose, because his very first step in his path to doing work that you love is to get clear. And he actually walks you through how to do that. He talks about this frequently on his show, The Ken Coleman Show. You can tune into that every single weekday as well between now and when your book arrives. He's got an assessment, William, where you can take this assessment to understand what are your

greatest talents, your passions, what is the impact that you want to make specifically. There's lots of ways to make an impact. And so if you'll stay on the line, what I'll do is I'll have Kelly get you set up with Ken Coleman's assessment that you can start now. I'm pretty sure, right, George? You can take it today and get your results and see what those areas are for you to give you clarity in the meantime. And then when his book comes out in just a few weeks, you can read that book. You can listen to a show in the meantime, and he will walk you through how to get clear because that's one of those things that needs more time than we have today to be able to dig into this with you.

But I think he's going to help you discover what are you really good at? What are you excited about? And what results do you want to create? When you know that information, you're getting clarity about all the ways that you could live in that, all the different jobs you could do to do that, and that will show you what your focus should be, what you want to go to school for, and obviously getting qualified is a step in his path as well,

which you were talking about. So stay on the line. We'll have Kelly get you set up. William, what are you going to school for? Chemical engineering. Very nice. Big shift, my man. Well, that's awesome.

Well, we're cheering you on. If that's your passion, that's what you want to be doing, we can help you get there. Ken's book is going to be crucial along that journey. we're cheering you on. If that's your passion, that's what you want to be doing, we can help you get there. Ken's book is going to be crucial along that journey. We're cheering you on, man. This is The Ramsey Show. Our scripture of the day comes from Psalm 104. Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise. Give thanks to him and praise his name.

G.K. Chesterton said, I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder. Love that. Doubled by wonder. Love that. Doubled by wonder. Good quote. Kevin joins us on the line in Phoenix, Arizona. Kevin, welcome to The Ramsey Show.

Hi. How are you doing? So my question is, my wife is trying to launch her dream photography business um and uh and i want to be supportive and help her but um i know that i'm overwhelming a lot of the time like i throw too much at her to try and help her get the business out there and i just wanted to know if you had any advice on what i can do to be more supportive and helpful without being as overwhelming well i love that you're asking kevin that is just so cool it shows you are supportive by the fact that you're even asking this question. So well done.

Tell me a little bit about your wife and tell me a little bit about what you mean by overwhelming. Are you asking lots of questions? How will this work? How will you pay taxes? Is it that kind of stuff? Or what's overwhelming her? So I've ran a photo business in the past. So I kind of realized what I did wrong in the past

and I'm trying to just tell her like, hey, where is your logo, design? What are your business plan? What is your, you know, I just like throw all of this at her, I think at once and it just kind of overwhelms her. So I'm just, you know,

and she's just trying to start this business because we're expecting our first baby and she really wants to kind of work from home more. Yeah. And work on her own schedule. And I really want that to happen. So yeah. Well, that's awesome. Congratulations on your little one. Tell me a little bit about your wife. What's her personality style like? Why does she want to do photography? Give me some of the backstory there. Because I think that'll help me maybe advise you on how to support her. Because, you know, different people are motivated by different things.

So tell me a little bit about her. What's her personality like? She's very outgoing. She loves helping people. She's very, I don't know, when we first started dating, the first thing I noticed was she lights up a room, and really people gravitate towards her, and they really like being around her. Is she creative? That's helpful. Yeah, super creative.

She comes up with solutions all the time that I never think of. I love that. Okay, I want to give you some advice that I heard from a friend forever ago. Okay, Kevin? And this has been, George, this is some of my favorite advice when it comes to people that are married, any relationship, but specifically in couples. Because we often tend to marry someone

that's our opposite, you've got a saver, you've got a spender, you know, in a relationship. Well, the way that this person outlined this advice to me that I want to give to you, Kevin, is in most relationships, you have a wow person and a how person. The wow person is typically the creative. Wow, this is amazing. Wow, isn't this awesome? Wow,

I have a bunch of new ideas. Wow, I'm so, you know, all these creative things. The how person is the more logical, the planner, the well, how will this work and how much money will it cost? And how will you do your logo? And how will you market yourself? And how will you find the time and all the how questions so here's the here's the tough part when you're a wow person and your how person starts asking all the how ideas which are valid it feels like they're raining on your parade it does feel overwhelming i have not thought through this details details this is matt right right he has 100 questions for me i'm like i'll figure that out later right don't rain on my parade so here's the rule here's the advice that this person gave me kevin that i think might help you the advice is this when the wow person comes home with a new wow idea which is every day

then the how person is not allowed to ask any how questions for 24 hours okay now this can be hard for you kevin but you're not allowed to. No how questions whatsoever. If the wow person, in this case your wife, is still thinking of that same idea the next day, 24 hours later, which is highly unlikely because they probably have 400 new ideas, but if they are,

this idea really means something to them and then you can gradually, slowly, in a sensitive way, start asking your how questions. So it sounds like your wife has been talking about this for a while. So what I would encourage you to do is just space out your how questions. The how will this work, how will the follow through. Instead, ask more creative questions just in the beginning to show your support.

Speak her language. Say, how do you visualize this? What are you most excited about? What do you think will be your favorite part? What type of pictures do you want to take? Do you want to do newborns or like wedding photos? You know, some of those more creative to engage her creative mind.

And when you start speaking her language, I think she will light up. I think she will start rattling off. Oh, my gosh, I thought about doing this and this and this and so on. And you can sprinkle in somehow once you can sprinkle in like, well, what about? OK, let's think about this. How much money do you think we need to get the camera that you really want to be able to execute on all those fun ideas?

If you just space it out where you're speaking some of her language, it's not just your language. I think that will show her that you are supportive. It will get her excited. And the hard part, Kevin, is for you to discern when to give advice because you've done this before and you should give advice and your advice is valuable. But when to maybe just bite your tongue on that one, when to let her figure that one out, when maybe she's not ready or doesn't want to hear it. You know what I mean? Because there is a creative process where there's some of it that she wants

to figure out herself and that's okay. And so I think for you, it's speaking her language, asking lots of open ended creative based questions and, and, and maybe sprinkling in those how questions throughout. And I think that will show her support. I would love to also, while we've got you on the phone, Kevin, if you would stay on the line,

I would love to give your wife a membership to my Business Boutique Academy. My coaching group is open this week for new members. Today through Thursday only. And I will be walking with this next group for the next six months where I do training and coaching every single month. So if you'll stay on the line, I'll have Kelly give your wife a membership. She can join my coaching group.

I would love to walk with her, help her answer her questions and, uh, and help her get that business idea off the ground. So if you'll stay on the line, I'll have Kelly, Kelly, words are hard today.

Uh, Kelly, give you that as well. I love that. Kevin, I see a lot of myself. Yeah, that. Kevin, I see a lot of myself. I'm sure she'll love it. Yeah.

That's awesome. I see a lot of myself in you, Kevin. I'm that guy. You're the how. And I'm helpful. I'm just like, well, I'm being so helpful, aren't I? Sure. Matt Wright is being helpful.

Yeah. What I found, my wife wanted to start doing clay earrings during the quarantine. And I was like, oh, I can help you make a logo. And I can help you make a website. And I realized that she needed more ownership. and it kind of got less fun the more I got involved. So sometimes I had to learn to just step back and go, this needs to be her thing. And unsolicited help is rarely helpful. That's what I found. So Kevin, are you running into that a lot? Yeah. It's something that like, yeah, she'll ask me a question, and then I'll just throw a bunch at her, and I can see it in her face where she just kind of, like, oh, and, like, you know, I didn't think about that.

And, like, I don't mean to be down her. I'm trying to, like, help her, like, get an idea of what it's going to take. But sometimes I see it, and I'm like, God, I should stop talking, but I can't. Kevin, I can relate. This is marriage. I can relate. I love that. But I totally get that, that you feel this urge to go, well, what about this?

And she deflates her. And you go, well, I'm not being a pessimist. I'm being a realist. This is what it's going to take to get the business off the ground. But a lot of times that can stifle the progress that she's making, that she's feeling towards this. And I think once she owns it, she'll bring you in because she's going to find the things that she isn't good at or doesn't want to do and say, hey, Kevin, can you help me with this?

I really am not great at logos and design. I'd love your brain on this. And then it's a partnership instead of this, hey, do you think about this? It's like a devil on the shoulder. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and the other thing, Kevin, is it'd be good for you to weed through, of all your advice, weed through what is necessary that she really needs to know and you really are

helping. Like, hey, you really need to have a cancellation policy because if not, people are going to cancel last minute. I'm making this up. But whatever you really feel or like, she's got to know this. And what are the things that you did it that way, but she doesn't have to do it that way. They're optional. You could even offer it that way.

Like, well, hey, I did it like this when I did it, but I don't think you have to. I think you could do it this different way. Or what do you think? You can turn it back on her and ask questions like, hey, what do you think? So I think maybe even just weeding through that. What does she need to know? And what is kind of like you did it that way, but you don't have to. Yeah.

And even let her fail a little bit. Yeah. I think that's going to actually motivate her more to go, okay go okay i gotta figure this out on my own and she'll bring you into it but i think that's so awesome to have a supportive husband like that way to go who's eager to help instead of going oh i don't care yes oh my gosh the fact that you're calling and asking just shows how supportive you are great job i love it hey it's been a fun show christy my thanks to producer james childs associate producer and phone screener kelly daniel my co-host christy Wright, you America.

It's been a good time, and we'll be back with you before you know it. Until then, spend wisely, save intentionally, and give generously. This is The Ramsey Show. Hey, it's Kelly, associate producer and phone screener for The Ramsey Show. If you would like to do your debt-free scream live on the show, make sure you visit theramseyshow.com and register. We would love for you to come to Nashville and tell Dave your story.