The Ramsey Show - App - Lose the Ego, Win With Money
Episode Date: August 6, 2025📈 Are you on track with the Baby Steps? Get a free personalized plan. Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruze answer your questions and discuss: "How can I get my wife on board ...with the Ramsey plan?" "My tenant isn't paying a plumbing bill, should I pay for it?" "I want to pay off my debt but my parents want me to put my extra money towards my mortgage." "My employer offered to pay the taxes on a leased vehicle. Is it worth it to take this deal?" "How do I address a business partner who refuses to work?" "How do we stop wasting money on silly material purchases, even if we can afford them and are responsible with money?" "I'm having a hard time budgeting my fluctuating income." "My husband passed away and I'm only getting half of his life insurance policy while my sister-in-law is getting the other half." Next Steps: ✔️ Help us make the show better. Please take this short survey. 📞 Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 weekdays from 2–5 p.m. ET or send us an email. 💵 Start your free budget today. Download the EveryDollar app! 🏫 Lead a Financial Peace University class! ❤️🩹 Get trusted insurance coverage that fits your budget. ⛓️💥 Tired of debt? Grab Breaking Free From Broke now! Connect With Our Sponsors: Stop paying more and start shopping smarter at ALDI. Get 10% off your first month of BetterHelp. Go to Boost Mobile to switch today! Learn more about Christian Healthcare Ministries. Get started today with Churchill Mortgage. Get 20% off when you join DeleteMe. Go to FAIRWINDS Credit Union for an exclusive account bundle! Find top health insurance plans at Health Trust Financial. Use code RAMSEY to save 20% at Mama Bear Legal Forms. Visit NetSuite today to learn more. For more information, go to SimpliSafe. Use promo code RAMSEY for 18% off at The Nokbox. Get started with YRefy or call 844-2-RAMSEY. Visit Zander Insurance for your free instant quote today! Explore more from Ramsey Network: 💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights 🧠 The Dr. John Delony Show 🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour 💡 The Rachel Cruze Show 💰 George Kamel 🪑 Front Row Seat with Ken Coleman 📈 EntreLeadership Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey show where we help people build wealth, do work that they love and create actual amazing relationships.
I'm Dave Ramsey, your host.
My co-host today is Rachel Cruz, Ramsey Personality, number one bestselling author,
co-host of the Smart Money Happy Hour hit on Ramsey Networks and my daughter.
We're going to be here and tell you the truth all day.
We're going to talk about you, baby, right in front of you.
The phone number is AAA-8-25-2-2-25.
You jump in, and we're here to help.
Herman is in Charlotte, North Carolina.
Hey, Herman, what's up?
Hey, Dave, how's it going?
better than I deserve.
How can I help?
All right, so my call is quick and simple, hopefully.
I am a married man, and I have a wife that is a spender,
and I just want to know what can I do to get her more on board with the Dave Ransy plan.
We went to FPU.
I watch a show pretty much every single day,
and I try to tell her things.
I send her YouTube shorts,
and I just feel like there's nothing I can say or do that makes her change her ways.
And I don't know what to do anymore.
I think we're going to phone a friend.
We're going to call Winston, Rachel's husband, and ask him how he dealt with Rachel being a spender.
Perfect combo to show Herman.
If we can do that, I'm cool with that.
Okay, well, my question is, do you, how are you approaching it?
Like, have you guys sat down and had actual real conversations, or has it been, not that it's
passive aggressive to send clips of the...
Are you throwing Ramsey or YouTube grenades?
Is that all you're doing?
No, no, no, no.
So we have had heart to heart.
And what's her rebuttal to you?
There is no rebuttal.
That's the thing.
The thing is just when the example is we, my brother's about to have a baby and she
decided to throw a baby shower and we spent about 700 on that and we're in baby step.
we're because of that we're back in baby step one and that's the kind where i'm like
you know i and she's super nice she's a great person super giving a little too giving
sometimes when we need to take care of our stuff you know but i i don't know how or what to say
to get her to do this dave ramsie plan well quit saying dave ramsie for one thing okay yeah you're
gonna turn me into a dad gum cuss word in your house man yeah yeah you kind of are already
Oh, yeah, it's too late.
Yeah, okay.
So number one, I'll let Rachel chime in, too,
but most guys make this more than gals make this mistake.
You talk about what to do rather than why to do it.
So you need to pan back and dream together about what life would be like
if we had built some wealth and didn't have the stress of money.
And you've got to get some buy-in in in this.
this high definition dream and then only then are people willing to do the hard stuff to get to
the dream right yeah and i would say i feel like i've done that yeah well what i'm wondering though
again is too for spouses especially with money because it's such a hot it's such a hot button
because it does it causes so much stress and conflict and so for
For you, Herman, I would want the conversations more so to go not pointing at her and saying,
you did this, you did this, you're doing this, you're a spender, you're out of control,
you spend $800, you, you, you, you.
What's going on with you, Herman, right?
And coming to her in a sense to say, hey, as your husband, I have some fear around this.
This makes me, when I look at the pattern, what I'm scared about is that we're not going to
have financial security.
We have a lot of debt.
if something happens, like, what is going on within you?
Because it can easily become, you don't mean it to be,
but it can become the blame game of she's the problem
and you're the savior in the situation, right?
And so for her to understand where you're going from,
what you were just saying, it's not the what,
we've got to get on a budget, you have to stop spending,
but it's why, what is going on with you?
And then at that point, Herman, you know,
if you guys talk through,
and it's not that she can never spend money,
because that's another thing.
Some people, not that you were this,
but some people, right, they go so extreme,
where the spouse is like, this is the most miserable life because you're giving me $150.
But when we have, we don't have $1,000 to our name and you spend $700 on a baby shower,
and I'm throwing a flag, okay?
Right.
She's out of bounds, okay?
Completely out of balance.
That's like sixth grade math violation right there, okay?
You just don't do that.
An adult knows that boundary, okay?
Yes, I hear you.
But also, I do want to make sure he's giving her the runway to really understand the reality.
Because sometimes people in his situation, they're running and doing all the logistics of it.
Yeah, I'm just saying, if we sit down and we say, this is how much money we have and then you go do that, that's a problem.
Yeah, 100%. No, I agree with that.
Yeah, so anyway, yeah, I'm going to pan back and I'm going to make this a conversation.
So here's the thing. Maybe we can go this far.
Hey, I'm worried about this stuff. This is bothering me. I'm terrified. Our current process is not working.
it's hurting our relationship and it's and I cannot see a prosperous future with the way we're doing
this so something's got to change now sit down here with me and let's talk about what we want
our future life to look like what my friend henry cloud calls our desired future and then you
have to ask yourself what must be true to get to that desired future and if if she's like yeah
I'm going to do whatever I want well you now have a wife problem you don't have a money problem you
Now you have a marriage issue.
You need to go to a marriage counselor.
But most of the time, you're going to get buy-in when you ask questions and pull rather than push.
And when you talk about where we're going rather than how we're going to get there.
Yeah.
What Simon Sennett calls the why.
Yeah.
And she, to your point, has to live in the reality of the numbers.
You can't live beyond that.
And when she starts to live beyond that, that shows a level of immaturity, honestly, on her end,
that she can't be an adult and do, you know, fourth grade math of like, okay, we have this.
we can't overspins here.
Like, right?
Like, there is a point of that.
So I would want to know from her what is causing this.
Yeah, and I think she is a sweet person, but she's got to be the adult.
That's right.
The second adult in the equation.
You're not a caretaker.
Yes.
You're not her daddy.
Yes.
You're her husband.
I am not.
I am a partner and that's what I want.
Exactly.
Amen.
And that's why she's got to view it, which means she steps up, puts her shoulder in the harness with you.
And together we pull this.
This is two grownups.
Yeah.
And my hunch is...
And then you can argue about what we spend on the shower.
Sure.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But my hunch is, from what he's saying
and from what we experience a lot on the show
with callers when it comes to money and marriage issues,
80% of it's usually a marriage issue
or an individual issue.
It's not just the math.
Yeah, it's a communication thing.
Yeah, so you're probably going to start to,
if you keep digging in
and you guys keep getting to that level of conversation,
it's going to start to reveal other things
within the marriage and the relationship.
which is great because this is the point
of where a lot of couples
separate everything and like this is just too hard
we're going to just do our own individual thing
and that's a disaster right
so even when it gets hard
continue to push in because
those places of struggle and conflict
that's where intimacy is built and that's where you build
a strong foundation of a great
marriage is when you get through those conflicts
so see it as a
as a relationship building opportunity
moments Herman that's what we could say
that was so sweet
It's an opportunity to grow.
It is.
Deep in the relationship.
But I know you're annoyed.
So we don't kill each other.
I hear that.
Sarah is in Georgia.
Sarah is in Georgia.
I'm a landlord, and I've had a tenant.
for a couple of years with no real issues until now.
According to the lease, she's supposed to report any maintenance problems to me so I can
take care of them.
But today, out of the blue, I got a call at work from a plumbing company saying they fixed
a water issue at the rental back in January and that the $660 bill had never been paid.
This was the first I had even heard there was a problem.
So your tenant authorized a bill for you to pay without you agreeing to it.
Yes, and it was actually a pretty simple fix that my husband could have taken care of
and not cost either of us much money.
Have you called the tenant?
I have reached out to the tenant, and her response was she just didn't want to bother me,
and she just hadn't had the money to pay the bill yet, but it's within January.
And is the bill the work under her name?
It is.
Oh, it's under her name, but it's on Sarah's house.
Yeah.
Plummer's not going to lean the tenant.
the plumber's going to put a lien on sarah's house and it's January six months overdue so this is a sweet person who's not very smart yes how long has you been your tenant and a little over two years okay and I mean I've never had any issues with her yeah how much is the rent and it's 12 50 a month and how much do you have a deposit 60 um one month's rent okay and how much is the bill
$6.50.
Yeah.
I'm going to pay it because you're going to have a problem if you don't.
But I'm also going to have a sit down with the tenant probably in person and really clearly explain because this lady's not bright and you're going to be real clear.
You don't have to be mean, but you need to be blunt.
Yeah.
Like this is $650 that I would not have had to pay if you had picked up the phone and call me.
Don't you ever do this again.
If you do, you won't be living here.
That kind of clear.
Oh, that's exactly how your husband would handle it,
because that's how I trained him, Rachel.
Well, I know.
Let me.
So, I mean, he's handling my rental property right now.
So if there's somebody doesn't,
because you need to be clear because this is a dumb but thing.
You do.
Who does this?
She may not know.
I know.
She's not bright.
So you're going to have to tell her real clear because she's not going to get it
otherwise. And, you know, Sarah, you're not going to, you're probably not going to be as nasty as
I am, but I want you to be very clear. I'm not trying to be mean. Being clear is kind. Right.
I'm not trying to be mean, but I do want this, I want it to activate a little bit of emotion in the
tenant so that they don't do it again. Yes. And then you need to pay the bill to me, because I'm
going to go ahead and pay it. And if you don't, it's, I'm considering an additional rent. And if you
don't, we're going to have another problem. So you need to get me paid. Now, how can you get me
paid back you want to pay half of it a month until for the next two months on top of your rent i'll
work with you on that i'll try to help you but but listen my husband usually does these repairs and
it wouldn't it cost us 650 would cost me 14 dollars in parts from home depot and my husband sweat
and that's what that's the way we do it darling and so next time you have a problem you do you're
not bothering me this bothers me that won't bother me so you know and just you can be go and i know you meant
well that's fine that's all good but we need to draw a line and go this doesn't happen again because
I'm not worried about this bill because worst case she never pays it you take it out of her
deposit when she leaves right right you're not going to be out of pocket but um but I I'm trying
to keep it from happening again because what's the next one she has a septic tank
replaced at $6,000 I mean my god what does it was this woman this like you know that people do
stuff I'm so yeah this is welcome to landlording yeah
I would, but you want to be very, very clear.
You're in Georgia.
I'm in Tennessee.
I learned with team members many years ago that I was trying to be nice,
Southern passive aggressive sweet tea.
And in the name of all of that, I wasn't being clear.
And I was getting frustrated and they didn't know because I was being so indirect and
working around the edges.
Now we have a saying around Ramsey when it comes to communicating internally.
To be unclear is to be unkind.
So you want to be kind to her by being very clear with her.
Because if this comes up again, it's going to be a real problem, isn't Sarah?
Absolutely.
I mean, I'm very aggravating to get a call like that.
She'll have some piss and vinegar in it.
I can hear it from you, Sarah.
Okay.
I'm just giving you permission as a fellow landlord to be very clear.
You don't have to be mean.
That's not what I'm saying, but that's not what we're saying.
But we are saying, it's more mean for this lady to not get the message.
She needs to get the mail.
She needs to open the email, read it.
It's only it's not an email.
It's in person.
And then I would follow it up with an email or a letter.
Sure.
You know, this has happened.
And we understand this time, but this is not to happen again.
All future repairs need to be cleared with us before they were done.
And then if you wrote the email, the next paragraph, would be like, or I'm kicking you out.
I'm evicting you
That's what you said
Your first response
I'm so
Man I got just this
I know you don't have a lot of patience
No
It just
I hear you though
I hear you
Yeah you need to understand
There's consequences
This is not how we're going to do this deal
Yeah that's great
And we're not going to operate this way
Rochester New York
Jeff's on the phone
Hey Jeff, what's up
Hi Dave
Thanks for taking my call
Sure how can I help
Uh, so I recently stumbled across your show.
I've watched your baby steps explained a couple of times and, uh, it's got me on fire to really
nailed down my finances.
So I'm on baby step two.
Uh, I've got a few, uh, I've got a few loans to pay off.
And I've got some savings.
Uh, I'm thinking of taking those savings and wiping out those debts moving on to
baby step three.
Awesome.
Uh, but my dad and my mother-in-law, both independently, uh,
suggested that I put the money towards my mortgage instead.
And I wanted to get their take if anything I'm not, I'm missing.
Do they, do you work for them?
No, I went to them for counsel.
I just wanted to get their advice.
Oh, okay.
So you ask them to vote on this.
Okay.
Yes.
Well, I mean, you've got to decide what you think is wise, what they said or what we say.
Okay.
I think their advice is stupid.
I think they mean well, but it's dumb, okay?
We have led more people out of debt into millionaire net worth
than any other organization operating in America today.
And neither one of them work for me.
Right.
So, I mean, it's, this process works, in other words.
It's a proven process.
If you follow it all the way through.
And you follow it in order, too.
That's another thing is some people go,
out of order and all of it, and you're not going to see the progress as quickly.
Yeah.
Jeff, if you paid off all of your debt today, how much of your income would you save per month
that would not be going out in payments?
About $500 a month.
Okay.
Okay.
And how much is your debt total, huh?
12.5,000.
Okay.
All right.
And so if you put $1,000 away, you're going to put $12,000 back in one year, agreed?
how much can you do how much can you put on your baby step three if you don't have any debt
to build your emergency fund back up because you're using your savings to clear your debt
how much a month can you put back into savings with no debt payments I'm thinking right around
a thousand dollars a month okay yeah I want you to crank that up to about 1500 and you know
get on beans and rice rice and beans and let's get that emergency fund rebuilt I need that for
your sake I want you to have what's your household income about 75k okay cool yeah I'm what
you have 20 grand set aside for emergencies grandma's rainy day fund and how much have you got in
there today in savings right now I've got about 22 and a half okay so you're going to take it down
to 10 by writing a check for 12 and a half correct that's right yep and then you got to raise it back
up to 20 and if you do that at 1,500 a month you're done in like seven months
And that would be my plan if I'm you.
Amen.
And then get on through and let's get the investing going and start paying off the house
and babysips four, five, and six.
But get that consumer debt cleared out, Jeff.
From a mathematical and an emotional standpoint, when you have no payments, it frees you up.
Yeah.
Now, the one vote that does count is your wife's.
And so the two of you need to be in agreement on that before you move forward.
But that's what we would tell both of you to do.
So, and again, your parents mean well, but their plan's dumb.
If you're tired of living paycheck to paycheck and feeling like you can't get ahead, join one of our free every dollar trainings.
There are new trainings every week this month, and they're all hosted by one of the Ramsey personalities.
When are you doing the next one?
Mine is in two weeks, I think, or next week.
Yeah, but we're doing two or three a month each of us.
You and George and Jade.
That's where you find them.
Now, we're going to show, they're going to show you how to stick to a budget.
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So sign up for free at ramsysolutions.com slash webinar.
Harrison is in Atlanta.
Hey, Harrison, what's up?
Dave, how are you?
better than I deserve, man. How can I help?
Amazing.
So, Dave, I'm trying to figure out my next move.
I have $34,000 in student loans on one loan, another $12,000 on another student loan, and then a $17,000 car loan.
And I'm, you know, getting help.
I'm also at the same time getting help with a down payment, and I was just hope, and I'm hoping to buy a house soon.
So, but the thing is I'm worried about, you know, all the costs that come with ownership, you know, and with my debt.
And so I just want to ask, you know, should I hit pause on buying and focus on paying off this debt first and keep renting with my high rent rental in Atlanta?
And if so, you know, how should I attack this debt and, you know, what, you know, should be my force towards that?
So you're single?
Yes, sir.
You're 24?
26.
Pretty close.
Okay.
Good guess.
All right.
What do you make?
I make $130,000.
year. Cool. What do you do?
Medical device sales. Good for you. Good career. Nice. Well done. All right.
Cool. So, so you don't have to talk anybody into this but you. Okay. And I think you already
kind of, you've got, let me tell you what I think I heard coming out of your mouth. And you tell me if I was
right. Yes, sir. I may be wrong, okay, because I may have missed it. But I think I heard a lot of people in your
life going buy house by house by house everybody's got a buy house by house by house crap man
you make 130,000 buy house by house wasting money on rents and you're throwing that money down a rat
hole buy house by house and then I think you're fairly analytical dude and you're a very detail person
and you started going yeah but if I take on all those expenses and I've got all this that doesn't
feel right to you correct did I reach your mail or not no I think that's a hundred percent
right you know I've just heard about you know four stories of someone buying a house you know
at this age and you have to replace the roof water heater you know whatever it might be and that
kind of worries me with the debt that I'm currently in we have found that home ownership is a key
to building wealth it's one of the two things that causes people to get their first one to five
million dollars of net worth so it's very important so we're big on you getting a house however
when you're broke like you are and you buy a house it will make you broker that's why they call
them brokers and so um yeah it's a mess and you know you got to have an extra bedroom for sally
may yeah yeah 100% yeah so if i'm you i'm cleaning up the debt and you the good news is
63 000 you make 130 if you don't have a life for a year you could be dead free yeah
Now, that's going to be really hard.
You're single in Atlanta-making bank, but I just put you in jail, okay?
I put you in the apartment jail.
You can't do nothing.
You're not allowed to go out to eat.
All you do is work and pay debt.
You know what it would make you sick, Harrison, considering how analytical you are.
If you go to Ramsey Solutions.com and pull up our investment calculator and just put in the amount of money you're paying towards your student loans and your car loan every month.
And instead, if you had invested that at 26 to 65,
it will be, I bet it'll be over $3 million.
Be five.
If you are paying yourself versus paying someone else.
So that's the mindset you have to have, that you're paying other people, your income,
where you could be paying yourself that income for a down payment and or even investing long term.
So have your income work for you, not other people.
So that's why getting out of debt is the smartest thing to do, especially before buying a house,
because you're exactly right.
Home ownership is very expensive.
And if you don't have savings, you have debt, you end up creating.
more of a stressful situation
because there's no margin.
And so paying off the consumer debt
first and foremost, getting some money saved
in an emergency fund and then saving for that
down payment. Then the house is a blessing
rather than a curse. When you move in broke,
the house can be a curse.
That makes total sense. And I guess
my follow question of that is
I do have a pretty solid,
I mean, for my age, a solid little
fun going on. Oh, good. How much is in it?
I'm going on. So I have
around $35,000.
awesome and and so my problem with it is I don't know which to pay off first I'd pay off the
$12,000 student loan the $17,000 car okay you're two smallest debts and then then you're
going to attack that other debt with a vengeance oh crap now you're out of debt like four months man
okay you're gonna be out of debt no time I should just you think I should just use the full
emergency fund down down to $1,000 I'm gonna send you a copy of the book the total money makeover
it's going to teach you the baby steps on steroids okay
And the baby steps are $1,000 saved is baby step one.
Two is pay off all your debts except your home, smallest to largest in that order,
only keeping $1,000 of non-retirement income.
We don't cash out retirement, but everything else goes on the debt.
We clear the debt because, as Rachel said, your most powerful wealth-building tool is your income,
and that investment calculator will make you puke if you don't do this.
And so go do it.
And so knock this stuff out like your hair was on fire.
Be prepared for family and friends to think you've lost your money.
mind.
Broke people will make fun of your wealth building plan.
Okay.
Count on.
Count on.
Because an interesting thing, one of the things we studied when we studied 10,000
millionaires, one of the things they attribute to becoming a millionaire is they
quit carrying what other people thought.
That makes sense.
That's definitely a problem with mine right now.
It's a problem with me.
It's a problem with every human that breathes.
We all want affirmation.
and we all want to be liked.
We all want people to think we're brilliant.
But when broke people are making fun of your financial plans,
like fat people making fun of your diet, okay?
I mean, come on.
So you just got to, you got to think about it.
That's how we get at it.
So Rachel's exactly right.
You get that debt paid off, build up that emergency fund,
then save up a down payment.
Dude, you're going to be there in two years.
It's going to be quick.
You're going to be sitting in a nice home in two years making by then 160,
because you're on an arc with this career of yours is not,
It's not going to get inflation raises.
You're going to see 10, 20, 30% hits on this thing.
So you're going to do great, man.
But I like how self-aware you are, Harrison.
Because he said, I do care.
But he says, I care about what people think.
So it's a good notion to remember the ego hates this plan.
The ego wants to say, I'm making $130,000 a year, and I'm 26 years old.
Look at the restaurants I can go to, go out with my friends, the car I drive, where I live.
because he even mentioned it's an expensive rent where he is in Atlanta.
Like, right?
Like, every part of your lifestyle gets shut down.
And so much of what we equate our success in who we are and what makes us feel good
and inflates that ego in us is this.
And so when you stop that, thank you.
What did you say?
I said, that's a good line.
Yeah, thank you.
I'll take that compliment.
Thanks, Dave.
Ego hates this plan.
It does.
It does.
So Harrison is, yeah.
So be on guard of that where your emotions are going to kind of
spike in that that you're not going to want this but I'm telling you it is going to be it's going
to release you from a lot because like you said though when you don't care what people think when
you're when you're doing busting through change change is frustrating yes learning by its nature is
frustrating because you're doing and taking in things you didn't know before and there's a level
of angst that goes with that and it's real easy to get an entitlement mentality and act like a
four-year-old on the cereal aisle and have a meltdown because it can't get fruit loops yeah
It's like, I deserve this.
I work so hard.
But you're 56 and you sound like you're four.
You know, it's like, I work so hard.
Like we all don't work hard.
I mean, give me a break.
That's just whining called the wambulence.
But you're exactly right.
That's good.
That's very good.
You're going to do this.
I can tell, man.
Hang on.
We're going to send you a copy of Total Money Makeover.
Make sure you get in gear.
And you call us back and tell us when you're debt-free.
You can do your debt-free scream right here, man.
It's awesome, Harrison.
Good luck.
thanks for joining us america cody's in wisconsin hey cody what's up
how are you thank you to take my call sure how can we help a quick question make a long story short
um about a year ago my mother passed away due to cancer i have two sisters older sisters
and me and my middle sister we we knew that the oldest sister was going to be a
left out of the will. My oldest sister, unfortunately, kind of stepped away from the family and the day
of the services. My oldest sister found out from a will that she had located that she would not be
receiving any inheritance. Needless to say, things have been tight or tough with the family. We
haven't spoke for a while. I'm feeling guilt that, you know, maybe some of my inheritance to bring
the family back together, I should give that up.
And I'm not talking a significant amount of money.
It's probably $50,000, $60,000 worth of liquid funds and maybe $100,000 of investments
where my share, you know, very significant, something that my family could use and benefit from.
But I just wanted to kind of get an outside perspective on what your thoughts might be for this situation.
Wow. That's painful. I'm sorry.
Well, your mother should have handled this when she was alive.
And I had that conversation, and I begged her to please put a letter in writing so that she understands why.
But things happened faster than we anticipated, and that letter was never written.
But she had not spoken to your older sister and not spoken to your mom in several years, apparently.
It was a while, and she was in.
Well, how long was a while?
They small talked, but she would never help out with.
with any doctor's appointments, medical issues, problems.
And there was certainly some problems that they had between the two of them
that they never sat down and talked.
But she had probably been away from the family for maybe 10 years.
Cody, what was your mom's reason to keep her out?
Because there just wasn't a relationship there?
Correct.
Yeah, there wasn't a relationship.
My father passed away from a stroke.
We kind of got back together.
The family was on terms.
My sister moved into my mother's house in the wintertime as my mother snowbird
into, down to Texas,
watched my sister realized that the house wasn't going to be given to her
because my mom needed to move somewhere smaller,
and then she wasn't involved again for numerous years until my mom passed.
So I understand that olive branch you're wanting to extend,
but I'm going to be honest,
it feels like she's coming back into the,
the family, not out of a relational
desire, she has to be
paid to get back into the family,
right? Like, that feels weird to me.
And I agree. That's just something
I don't necessarily want to admit to, but that's
certainly something on the back of my mind.
Yeah. Yeah, because if I'm, if I'm hurt
and I want a relationship with my siblings,
then you call up and have a relationship.
Yeah, to be motivated by the money is off to me.
I mean, this is a fairly
cut and dry deal. You didn't do this. Your mom did this.
so if your sister wants to be angry with someone it would be with your mom and so how can i can't
reconcile someone else's issues i can only reconcile my issues so if i have offended someone i can go
to them if i want to and reach out an olive branch but i can't reach out on olive branch on behalf
of someone else and that's it doesn't that's not how this that's not how relationships work and so
you can't make her okay you can't make your older sister not be mad at your mom right no matter what
you do because it's not your place i mean you don't you're not in that position only your mom
could have done that only that they're the only ones that could have reconciled while your mom was
still here it's so sad but it is and i don't think any amount of money too is not make her happy
no i mean it sounds like this lady's not your oldest sister is just not a happy person either
Right.
Am I right?
Or is that, am I overstating that?
No, I don't think so.
Okay.
All right.
So I think it's so.
So I would go to her and say, I would love a relationship with you.
Like, you know, right?
If yours is strange.
I'd be happy to have coffee with her and say, I completely understand that you're pissed at mom for cutting you out.
I completely understand that.
And I'm sorry that that happened.
And it wasn't because of me.
I didn't tell her to.
As a matter of fact, quite the opposite.
I told her to write you a letter.
I told her to tell you what she was doing
and she didn't do it
because it's hurtful and I'm so sorry for that
and I just leave it at that
I mean you can say the truth
the truth is you know
it's awkward it makes you feel bad
but you didn't cause it
so no I'm not writing anybody checks in this
no the spirit you know
emotionally
you know even spiritually
you don't think that there's a reason
there is a no
the inheritance is not an entitlement you're not entitled to money just because you hit the
DNA lottery and so you know any of you have a you know if your parents have money any of you
out there you are not entitled to their money morally spiritually ethically they can do with it
what they want to do with it it it's called their money they don't have to leave it to anyone
the only thing i tell people all the time is if you're going to piss somebody off in the will
have the courage to do it while you're alive.
And that way they don't leave people like you in this setting.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And Cody, again, just to reiterate, no amount of money is going to mend a relationship.
That's not.
It's not.
With your mom, she's in heaven.
I mean.
Well, no, but with the sister, like him wanting to give the sister money to.
She's not suddenly going to be okay.
Yeah.
That is not.
You could give her all of it and she's not going to be okay.
That's not what money's for, right?
It will not do that.
It doesn't have that power.
Yep, I agree.
But a gesture of saying of empathy, saying I get that you're hurt, I would be hurt too.
I understand that.
And I'm sorry.
I feel badly that you are in this situation.
I didn't put you here, but I understand that your heart is torn by this.
And I'm so sorry.
And then give me some money.
No, that's not what this is about.
This is about me telling you, I understand that you're hurt.
I didn't make these decisions and it's it is it is somewhat unethical to not abide by
someone's will right because you know it it is my will that you do so and so and that's
where the name will comes from it's your it's what your mother wanted it's what I want
it's my will and so and so you you know to not do what she wanted with her money is a bit
unethical. So, and I'm trying to use it to mend a relationship. And to Rachel's point, which is
really the core of the whole discussion, is money won't do that. If the only way money can build a
relationship, I mean, there's only one kind of relationship that money does, and it's called
prostitution. Oh my gosh. I mean, that's it. There's only one thing that you're buying love.
I was saying, a gold digger, you know. I don't know. Well, I mean, similar version. Yeah. But, but, but
You know, you're buying relationship.
And that's all, and what that is, is it's not a real relationship.
It's a counterfeit because it's not based on reality.
And so.
And I'm going to give you full permission, Cody, too, to have a discernment if you want relationship with her, right?
And if you do extend that part of you.
But also don't feel like you absolutely have to mend something right now because it does sound like, you know, there's a bit of a mess too.
But if you do feel that in your own conscious that it would be good for you to have a conversation with her, then do it.
Absolutely.
I would just be forewarned that I'm not part of the conversation is I'm not going to be guilt-tripped.
I'm not going to, you're not going to transfer your anger from mom to me.
Yeah, I'm not going to be a punching bag for you.
I'm not going to sit down to do that.
I can empathize with you, but I don't have to get beat up by you.
And so I don't need to do that either.
And I don't know this lady's modus operandi.
I don't know where she's coming from.
But sometimes when you're trying to help men things where things are broken, there's a little transference.
And so you get mad at the wrong thing.
Yeah.
And that could happen.
I don't, I mean, what do I know?
But it could happen.
So, yeah, that's a good question.
Everyone needs a will.
If you don't have your will, go to mama bearlegalforms.com and get it done.
70% of Americans die without a will.
70% of Americans are broke.
I wonder if there's a correlation.
People that take care of money, take care of money.
People that take care of their family, take care of their family.
There's a correlation.
Get your stinking will done.
All of you.
Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show.
We help people.
Build wealth.
Do work.
that they love and create actual amazing relationships.
Rachel Cruz, Ramsey Personality, number one bestselling author, co-host of the Smart Money Happy Hour hit on the Ramsey Networks.
My daughter is my co-host today.
Open phones at AAA-825-5-225.
Melissa is in Las Vegas.
Hi, Melissa, how are you?
I'm doing good.
Thanks for having me on the show.
Sure.
How can I help?
So my previous marriage was very financially abusive.
I've been divorced for four years and was able to build myself back up,
but I'm looking to get remarried the next year or two.
And sharing finances just feels really scary.
I know that's what you guys recommend,
but the jump back into that and sharing finances and doing all that feels scary.
So I wonder if you guys have any tips for me.
It should feel scary.
I mean, that would be, it's very obvious.
It'd be weird for you if it didn't.
You'd be a weird idea.
I mean, you got stung.
You got stung, so hanging out with bees.
should feel scary yeah i mean yeah yeah that makes sense now and then i but let's go a step further
okay handling money is not a department compartment it is woven into your spirit your soul
where you spend your money says what you value says what you fear yeah how you handle money says
what your value system is
and so you lose the ability
to create an incredible amount of unity
with this spouse by not sharing
and so
what you know I would go slow enough
that my wounds were healed enough
that with evidence of high communication
and cooperation I could trust
and not superimposed the other jerk onto the new guy, okay?
Yeah, I'm working hard to not do that.
Yeah, that's a hard one.
That's a human nature thing, and your self-awareness is a big deal on that.
So congratulations.
I think you're very wise, but I just go slow enough to say, in other words, if you can't
share your dreams in your fears through your money, you're not quite ready to do the marriage
thing.
yeah because you're going to share everything everything you know if you guys have kids together
I'm like if I don't trust the spouse that I'm marrying enough with my money how am I going to trust
them to raise human beings with me you know what I mean like it's it's an indicator of their
character and who they are and if there's a pause on that then then again I think that that's a
red flag to be like okay but but again your your pause may be coming from your wounds as
yourself aware enough to know.
But I think that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the important thing
what you just said is, I would coach him and, and ask him pre-marriage counselor to do this,
and you got, and you can say it out loud to him, teach him this if you want to, I don't
care.
But if he were talking to me, I would say, dude, you know, you've got to be hypervigilant
to, A, let Melissa's vote count in all decisions, B, everything is crystal clear
there is no side deals anywhere we are doing everything together and all the cards are face up
all the time because she's got tender places and if you touch one of those areas by
forgetting to tell her something she's going to translate that into you're a jerk and you've got
to be super diligent on that i'll give an example in our situation that's similar okay um
That was me talking to me a minute ago, okay, because when we went broke, my poor wife went through hell.
We had a brand new baby, a toddler, marriage hanging on by a thread.
She would have left, but she didn't have a car.
I mean, that's what we were doing, right?
It was nasty.
Water got cut off, lights got cut off.
She lived not, she wasn't afraid.
She was in terror that we were going to be homeless.
Okay.
That's the wound that she has.
now that was 35 years ago but we still have an emergency fund for the emergency fund
and I don't even walk near the drawer where the emergency fund paperwork is kept
Dave still has life insurance on them because mom wants it just in case like if Dave dies
mom is fine she's got several hundred million dollars in real estate but she wants some insurance
too you know and so it's not even logical but that is me being hyper vigilant to realize that she
has a the reality of a wound there that she was that that terror can rise up it can return even 35
years later yeah and that's that's your guy that's your guy's job here because he's got to
look at melissa and go she's worth me being super careful and tender on
this subject and with that Melissa for you feel so would you just feel so loved like would
that would just in my head that would raise him up even more of like you're an amazing guy
we don't mean like there's a level of trust and care that's really beautiful and I think
actually could be very flourishing for you guys in your relationship that could be really
one of the big things that actually unites you versus having to be divided you know yeah
absolutely but but if you
You knew everything, if you know everything that's going on, and I will tell you this, obviously, with 35 years of positive track record, there's a bazillion times more trust in my competency and my integrity than there used to be with Sharon, okay?
I've regained that, but that is, that scar is still there.
I've still got psychological scars from that experience.
So you will have that, but it'll get, it'll get healed over.
and they'll just be that, you know, that tender place where there used to be a scar.
In your previous marriage, Melissa, was there a specific thing with money?
What was the actual situation, if you don't mind sharing?
I'm just curious.
Yeah.
So it was always my job to fix the budget, but he would never change his spending habit.
And then he would rack up tons of money on the credit card and blame me.
And then we refinanced the house and we only put him on it, which costs us.
huge trouble on the divorce and he never wanted to save anything he said we'll save money
when I get out of debt which we never did gotcha um we left their marriage with debt and so have you
said all of that have you said all of that to a fiancee yet um not clearly no okay because I heard
I heard real clear messages there yeah you know you Melissa don't do debt Melissa does savings
Melissa don't do hiding money.
That is very true.
I mean, I got real messages out of that.
I have a kind of thing now. I have no debt.
Like, my financial life is where I want it to be, and I want it to stay that way once you get married.
And so that's where I'm like giving up that goal is hard.
This is not about you being greedy.
This is about you not being harmed.
Yes.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
And that's fair.
Yeah.
That's fair.
It should be that way anyway, but from where you're coming from, you guys have just got to be super clear and careful to make sure all of these things are addressed.
And I'm going to say, Melissa, if he's not on board on any of that, even if you combine or not, I wouldn't do, yeah, I mean, like, that is a deep part of your story.
That's not worth the gamble.
Even if you keep it separate.
It won't be fun.
It won't be fun.
You'll always be looking over your shoulder.
You'll be looking over your shoulder, looking for a dagger.
Yes, combine those values.
It's the values you're looking for with the fiancé.
when your values are aligned, it is a beautiful life you guys create together.
Buying or selling a home is a big deal, and there's a lot of drama out there in the real estate world,
especially if you do something like Instagram or TikTok, you'll find all the drama.
All the fields are out there regarding real estate.
But here's the truth.
When you got all the drama going on, there's a lot.
only one way to cut through it. Facts are your friends. When you get facts, it kind of lets
the air out of the drama. And we can help you with that. We've got a great U.S. housing market
trends page at ramsysolutions.com slash market. And so it'll have on there what is the facts
on the actual inventory, the actual median home price, how many days on the market, what are
prices doing what is interest rates doing not what your broke friend with too many beers at happy
hours opinion is what's really going on with real estate we can help you with that and it's good news
it's good news i mean there's a lot of inventory but there's also the median home prices are
steadily increasing not very fast not much but a little bit they're not going down house prices
there's not a bubble they're not crashing and they're not going to there's a million
82,520 houses on the market right now.
It's the highest inventory since 2019.
And there's a demand that's higher than that.
So demand is higher than supply.
Definition is prices will go up.
Interest rates drop and prices are going to go up quicker.
So be ready for that.
That's going to happen because there's people sitting on the sidelines.
They're all going to jump in there at once.
And so as soon as they,
since the bell rings, they're going to go.
And so this is a great time to,
buy by the way for that reason and you get a little negotiating power because days on the market
yeah there's not 83 people lined up to buy one house over the weekend like there was y'all remember
those days that's 20 minutes ago right and yeah so right now there's actually only one person
so you're actually having a negotiation like the old days and so it's a really excellent time to
have a fair conversation about a fair and it's normalized you've always said that about the market
the not good of like how you know the everything skyrocket all the craziness you always said
It just needs to, the normalization of the market is the best, healthiest market, not these crazy ups and downs.
Frenzy is not good.
Yeah.
It's not good for the market long term.
And we had that right after COVID.
Y'all remember, everybody came out of their houses looking for a new house like a Baptist with a casserole.
I mean, it was unbelievable.
So they were everywhere.
And it was crazy.
And drove prices straight up, and you're getting these crazy offers and all that.
So we're in a pretty calm.
It's almost kind of quiet, but it's a really excellent time.
all of that to say, ramesysolutions.com slash market or click the link in the show notes
and we'll help you with facts, ma'am, just the facts.
Rachel's in Canada.
Hi, Rachel.
What's up?
Hello.
I'm here with my husband.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, you're breaking up.
I don't know if you're moving your phone in circles or what.
Let's try again.
Speak directly into your phone.
Let's try one more time.
Okay.
I'm here with my husband and we don't have retirement set up for me.
that is ahead of me.
I have a 13-year age difference.
I will have Social Security.
We do have assets.
So we have a home renting,
and the rental just dried up.
So we've listed it for sale.
And we did finally lose you.
Okay.
We'll try to get it reset, honey, when we can actually hear you.
We're only hearing about every third word.
We're trying to hold our breath and understand what you're saying.
Rosie's in New York.
Hey, Rosie, what's up?
No, you hit Jaylen.
Oh, hit the wrong one.
I'm just going crazy here.
What am I trying to do?
All right, let me try out.
I'm doing the right thing.
There's Rosie.
Hi, Rosie.
How are you?
Hi, thank you for taking my call.
Sure.
How can I help?
My employer is offering a pre-tax benefit for leasing a vehicle.
So would this affect the financial, you know, advice comparison between
leasing, financing, and buying a vehicle outright.
No.
Leasing a vehicle is financing a vehicle.
You're signing the lease, right?
Yes.
No, don't do that.
No, no, no, no.
I'll take the money.
Just give me the money and I'll go buy a car.
Even though the lease would be pre-tax and if I buy the car, it will be post-tax.
Doesn't matter.
Doesn't matter.
The deal is this.
Leasing is the most expensive way to operate a vehicle.
mathematically it's a rip-off the average cost of capital quote interest rate is 14.2
percent and and you're buying a new car and it goes down in value like a rock and all of the
lost depreciation is built into the lease payment you're financing something you cannot afford to
buy and you're calling it smart because of some little quasi tax break no do not do this it's a bad
deal for you honey it's a bad deal everybody's trying to be sophisticated here
and you're going to step in a bear trap with it.
Don't do it.
Simply pay cash for your car,
and if they want to give you some more money at work, I'll take it.
There's no 100% tax break.
Okay?
So the only way this works is if you get 100% write-off.
Otherwise, you're trading dollars for quarters.
You understand how that works?
No, what do you mean by there's no 100%?
When you have a $1,000 tax write-off,
or you do something pre-tax,
thousand dollars you don't save a thousand dollars you save a quarter you save 250 dollars in taxes yeah
you save like 30 percent yeah yeah and so you're trading a dollar for 30 cents bad trade
for the extra you're paying on the lease is yeah yeah well you and you're in the process in the name
of sophistication or in the name of tax breaks or sophisticated tax breaks if we want to put the two words
together you're you're doing a really dumb but deal economically and mathematically
just to get involved in the tax thing.
And, you know, 100% of the time that you do something only because of the tax, it's a bad deal.
You do the smart things and get whatever tax break you can get on the smart things, and you move on.
That's the only thing you do.
And so I'll give you an example of that out there that's floating around right now into the big beautiful bill or whatever the flip they called it.
They did away with the tax credits, not deductions, for the solar units on your home.
Oh, yeah.
At the end of the year.
So a bunch of people are running out right now and financing solar units at 18% so they don't miss the tax break.
Stupid.
Mathematically stupid.
But it created this false scenario because the end of the year, it's over.
And now solar actually has to mathematically stand on its own without a false scenario.
tax prop-up.
And so solar's actually got to cost less than real electricity or the regular electricity.
You know, it actually has to work now mathematically without a false government prop-up.
And but people are going, oh, God, I can't miss the tax break.
And they're spending more than the tax break because they can't afford to finance it.
And they're buying solar panels like they're going out.
Oh, geez.
It's the same thing.
We're motivated by the wrong thing when you're motivated by taxes.
Same with people keeping their mortgage sometimes.
Yeah.
It's a great example.
92% of the people this year in America will not take an itemized deduction.
They will do standard deductions.
If you do not itemize on your tax return, you do not get the write off on your home.
The only way you get to write the mortgage off, the mortgage interest rate on your home is you have to itemize.
Only 8% of Americans do that.
But a whole bunch of that 92 that aren't actually taking.
the right off, go, well, I'm keeping my mortgage because it's saving me all my time.
No, it's not.
You're not itemizing.
That's just stupid.
God, man.
But it's just, you know, that's internet theology is what it is.
It's a problem.
And people just, you're exactly right.
So if you did actually do it, let's say you had $10,000 in interest.
And you're in the highest possible tax bracket, 37%.
Okay?
And you wrote off 30, so 300, or,
$3,000 in actual tax savings will come from you having a $10,000 interest bill.
So what people are saying then is, these are the ones that actually do itemize,
is I'm going to send the mortgage company $10,000 to keep from sending the government $3,000.
No, I need to say that again.
I'm going to send the government $10,000, I'm going to send the mortgage company $10,000 to keep from sending the government $3,000.
and I'm going to strut around like I'm smart
when I traded a dollar for 30 cents.
No, you're stupid.
That's it.
Maricio is in New York.
Hi, Maricio.
How are you?
I'm good.
And yourself?
Better than I deserve.
What's up?
So here's my situation.
I have a business and I have three of the partners involved in it.
And one partner really hasn't been pulling his weight for probably two years out of the three that we've been open at this point.
And we've already had talks and we've had all this other stuff.
And he doesn't seem, he promises he's going to do it, he doesn't do it.
Ultimately, I don't think I can work with him anymore.
I don't trust him anymore.
How can I go about going to the next step?
Well, what should that be?
Well, this is one of the reasons we say the only ship that won't sales a partnership.
Um, the, uh, because very few of them make it for this is one of the reasons they don't make it.
Um, I'm hoping and I'm betting not, but I'm hoping you guys have detailed partnership agreements.
We do.
Okay.
Does it not, does it address what happens if one of the partners isn't, isn't falling in line with the other three?
How do you, how do you remove someone?
It does.
How do you remove someone?
So it's basically a buyout, uh, whatever.
those terms are in terms of money.
So basically what it was was you get, you get, hey, here's 30-day notice.
You're not doing what you're supposed to do.
You get 30 days to fix it after the 30 days, basically, then you're out.
And whatever the terms that we had.
Do you have the money to write him the check that the document requires?
Yes.
Okay.
What are the other partners saying?
The same.
They're done working with them.
Okay.
So y'all are all in agreement.
Yeah.
So I guess you just execute what the plan says, don't you?
Why would you not do that?
Sit down and say, you know,
my concern.
Our document says that you have 30 days to fix this to all three of our satisfaction.
And so, you know, you've been sitting on your butt,
and we can't see you're sitting on your butt anymore.
We're done with it.
And we don't think you're going to turn it,
so we'd rather you just not even work the 30 days and just take the check and go.
Right.
The problem, here comes the kind of the fly in the ornament.
and so to speak.
Okay.
I was waiting on.
I knew there's a new issue.
What?
Right.
There's always something, right?
Last year we did a lot more.
And the terms are a percentage of year-to-date revenue is your buyout, right?
So from last year to this year, we're about 60% down of what we were at the same time.
So he wants to try to drag this thing out as much as possible.
That'd be awesome because these bad numbers are going to be the ones you calculate on.
Right.
And that's why he's kind of like, I think.
Should I get a lawyer involved?
Like, oh, oh, this is just enough.
If you write him a check today, what is the check?
Have you calculated it?
I would say probably right now, probably close to like $20,000.
That's it.
Oh, geez, man.
Write the check.
Yeah.
Get rid of the dude.
I don't think he'll take it.
That's the problem.
He don't have a choice.
And I don't want.
He don't have a choice.
The formula's in the document.
And then what?
I'd have to go to a lawyer after that.
The formula's in the document.
if he wants to argue with the document he's going to lose in court right but then i still
right i have to take him to court that's what no you don't have taken to court he has take you to court
you're throwing him out i'm taking his keys in his computer by the terms of the day off all the like
bank stuff and all that stuff do what yeah take him off of everything yeah if we're going to be
adversarial then let's get to it but if we can be kind about this and go this thing just
didn't work, and you're going to wander off on your way with a $20,000 check,
then we can be kind and easy about this.
But either way, he's got to be taken off of everything.
Someone leaves Ramsey on good terms or bad terms.
That day, their fob no longer works to get in the building.
Hello.
That's just normal stuff, man.
Well, partnership, I don't think they allow me to take them off on the bank stuff.
Why not?
The concern is.
Why not?
Of course you can.
You've executed the document.
You're saying that he has to be, he has to sign off is what you're saying, on the bank
stuff.
I would assume so.
As far as everything that we've done, since we're all of your partnership documents that show that you have removed him.
And he can take it to the bank.
You take those down to the bank and you say, guys, you take him off this account or I'm closing, I'm pulling all the money out of this account and I'm going to another bank and open one with the three guys.
Right.
You're not going to hold me hostage over here.
It's not happening.
So you just got to tactically work through the different details.
And, you know, if he's got other stuff that's proprietary, you've got to get it out of his possession.
and you've got to shut down his passwords and stuff, man.
Passwords and stuff.
So you think this is going to go sour?
Oh, I know it is because he's been spiteful up until now.
So a lot of the times it's like, hey, I'll go.
He's a great guy, spiteful and lazy.
Wow.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, really great.
And the problem is it's like, listen, I'm walking in my third daughter into this life right now.
I can't have this guy hanging over my head if he's not going to pull his weight.
and I don't want to make it tough because
I'm not it's not I it's we
all three of us are sick of him
yes no you're right we're done dude
here's your $20,000 check
and here's how it's calculated
how many conversations have you guys had with him
a lot this would probably be the fifth
one in two years
and it's a character issue the guy's just lazy
he's a lazy hound dog in the sun on the front porch
he ain't getting up but is he a good
well he's spiteful you said
I don't know. There's a book called Ideal Team Player, and he could be, what is it, the lovable slacker?
There's like the guy who's the same. I don't know. Yeah, he may not be lovable, though, so that may not be him.
No. No, you know what it is? It's also the position that he had or he has is the fact that it's not really super important to the company.
And when asked to grow was when the problem started. Like, hey, you have to take on a little bit more responsibility like the rest of us had.
And he's like, no, I just want to stay in my lane.
And the problem is, because of his lack of trying, I feel like it directly correlated to the fact that we went, you know, from over a certain amount to less than what we had, you know.
So if it were me in this situation.
I'm working at the hour as you work in 10.
Okay.
Yeah.
You don't want to get into who shot anything.
Okay.
When we let someone go at Ramsey, it's a 10-minute conversation because there's been a bunch of conversations before that.
Lots of warnings, lots of discussions.
We've talked about the different issues.
It's written down.
And now we're done.
Documented.
And so it's, hey, today's your last day here.
I'm sorry, this didn't work.
We tried everything.
You know that.
We love you and we want you to succeed somewhere else.
And we're, as of right now, none of your passwords or your computer doesn't work.
We'll need to catch your cell phone and your past and your computer.
If you want to go to your desk and get your stuff, that's fine.
but if you'd rather not do that walk of shame and come back tonight after hours, HR will meet you,
and you can just go the car and go home and have the rest of the day and talk to your family and everything,
tell them what happened.
And we, you know, it's about a six-minute conversation.
And that's where you are.
Yeah, but this guy's an, I mean, it's a partner.
I know, but the three of you sit down together in a room in person with the check in front of you and say,
and a document that says that this is our separation of your attorney draft a one-page separation.
And he signs that, he gets the check, he turns over his stuff, and we're sorry it didn't work, dude.
We thought when we started this, it was going to be a good thing, and it hadn't worked out.
We tried.
We talked about it, and this is the end of it.
This is your last day here.
Well, I don't care.
I'm going to get a lawyer.
I know, but you can do whatever you want to do, but this is your last day here.
Well, I'm going to be pissed.
I'm sorry, but this is your last day here.
I'm sorry.
I'm going to cry, and I want to start again, and let's give me one more chance.
I'm sorry, but this is your last day here.
The decision has been made.
The decision has been made.
Right.
Can we continue working if you want to get lawyers involved and all that?
If we can continue on, we don't have to stop to wait for anything.
No, no, no, no, no.
No, wait on anything.
You go on as if he left the building happy,
and then you just got this side issue that's going to burn some calories and some money
called defending your position.
But it should be an open and shut case based on what you're.
you're telling me. I'm not an attorney, but you're telling me the document clearly gives you
the right to let this guy go. Yes, yes, yes. That's how we signed off on it, all four of us.
Yeah. And there's a clear formula on how the payout is done. And here's another thing. Here's a cool
thing. All right. Let's say you run the calculation is $22,422, okay? Right. Make it $25.
Yeah. Yeah. Be generous. Okay. And go listen, there's a little bit more on here.
And just because here's the actual calculation, here's what you're due.
We're going to put a little mayonnaise on here on the bun.
And this is your last day here.
Today's question of the day is brought to you by Y. Refi.
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Today's question comes from Olivia in North Carolina.
She said, my husband and I earn close to $500,000 a year with no debt except for our home.
The mortgage payment is $2,500 a month.
We max out all of our retirement accounts.
Kids' college funds are on track.
We have expendable money every month that we find ourselves spending on silly purchases.
For me, it's purses. For my husband, it's electronics. We don't live in a mansion, and we can afford all these items, but we do recognize it's a waste of money. And frankly, they can just create clutter. Neither of us enjoy eating out or traveling, and we are very content with our lives. How do we stop wasting money on silly material purchases, even if we can afford them? And we're doing all the right things already. That's a great question.
Olivia yeah I mean I think understanding why you're buying these things in the first place
what is it just because you just feel like we just have the money so we're we need to enjoy
and spend it and that's that's the motivation is it because you're bored and you need
excitements right so finding that motivation of why you're making the purchases in the first
place will help you determine and set some values around extra money that you have and I mean I
I didn't hear any giving in this equation, Olivia.
Maybe you guys are, but I would probably up your giving.
It's amazing what you could do.
If you could find, you know, people in your lives, a single mom or someone who's working
the baby steps and giving, you know, a $500 spa gift card to the wife or, you know,
giving them gift cards to go out to eat, like spend the money in the way of giving while also
enjoying it.
But I wonder the fulfillment on that end.
is so much greater than just buying stuff to buy it.
So enjoy some of it, but I would be upping your giving
because I think that's going to bring you
a longer-term level of contentments down the road.
The word I heard in the whole thing was clutter,
which meant it's not satisfying.
You know, I do this, and then it's not satisfying.
There's just regret.
It feels like a financial hangover after I do it.
So I would pick up our friends, Joshua and the gang,
at the minimalists.
Won't you start watching some of their videos
and check out some of their books?
I've got a couple of documentaries on Netflix
and the minimalists, the idea is
is that we don't need as much stuff.
And not that stuff is evil,
but that just collecting stuff for the sake
of collecting stuff is ridiculous.
And that's kind of what she's saying
in a sense here.
So that's one thing I would do.
The second thing I would do is you guys need a written budget.
You're not living on a budget.
And a budget is simply
being intentional with every dollar.
You don't need a budget is not a chokehold for people that are broke.
A budget, you're telling your money what to do.
That's all it is.
And if you have a line item that has a certain dollar amount in it for these types of
purchases, then you don't go over that.
And you set that and you go, okay, you can set it high when you start and you go,
well, it's still too much.
I think we're buying too much crap.
And then you could lower the amount.
But you can set an amount.
in the cool of the evening when the two of you are sane and you're sitting at the kitchen
table, then when the insanity kicks in later, whatever this weird motivation is, it's driving
all of this, then you can look down and go, wait a minute, the calm, logical me told the
crazy me not to do this. Yeah. And that's what the budget is. It's telling you what to do when you
were, and you told you what to do your future self not to do this. Yeah, and I think it's a good
practice, maybe for you guys, and it sounds kind of extreme. But what if you're
like for one month you said you know what we're not gonna we're not gonna we're not gonna buy stuff
for one month and no spin yeah and no spend month and just practice it we did that with our kids
this summer because our kids were like we want this and this and i have money i have two dollars
can we please go to target can we please go to target so i can spend my two dollars and it was just
i mean they were just like these ankle barter conversations constantly and i was like you know what
we're not spending money this summer you guys i'm once than i did but for the kids you're not spending
money and whatever you have at the end of the summer we'll double it we'll match you for
but you have at the end of the summer, but you're not spending.
And it took about, I'm going to say, six days-ish.
It was a little less than a week because they would ask and ask,
and then they stopped asking.
And they just were content with what they had.
But you kind of have to put in this practice, even as adult.
I mean, I do this sometimes to myself where I'm like, I'm just buying Amazon stuff.
And I don't need to buy it.
I don't need another box of earrings, right?
Like it just kind of gets to this point.
Even if you can afford it, there's something about practicing that contentment of just kind of just shutting everything off.
And not forever, but just to get a baseline.
back to a level of just, I don't know, that contentment and that steadiness.
Yeah.
So maybe that's what you guys do.
It's a good practice.
Do something extreme for one month and see what happens.
That's fun.
I like that.
Jalen is in Toledo.
Hi, Jalen.
How are you?
Hi, Dave.
Thank you for taking my call.
Sure.
What's up?
So the reason I'm calling is, is I'm having a hard time building my savings with a fluctuating
income.
What's your total income?
So I've got two separate, I've got a primary and a secondary source of income.
So I'm actually a 100% T&T disabled veteran.
So I get about 48.5K a year, non-taxable.
Uh-huh.
And then my secondary income is I'm a live streamer on a live streaming platform.
And I bring roughly about $2,000 a month from that.
Okay.
All right.
It's about $6,000 a month-ish.
Yeah.
Just about there, yeah.
Okay.
So what's irregular?
Just the variation in the 2000?
Yes, the variation in the 2000.
So what's your, do you have a month, you get zero on that?
I'm sorry?
Do you ever have a zero month on that?
A zero month?
What do you mean by that?
On the streaming, do you ever have a month you make zero?
Oh, no, absolutely not.
What's your worst month streaming?
Um, my worst month streaming this month is actually, I can pull that up for you. Um, my worst month
streaming was two thousand, no, sorry, $1,85. The most I made was $7,200. Okay. All right. And the
average is $2,000? Yes, sir. Wow. So that $7,200 was a mammoth month.
It was from my birthday. So I did like a special event for my birthday. And I don't have that money.
anymore. I got married about a little over a month ago, so all that money went towards the
service and everything. Okay. Congratulations. What does she make? Thank you. She makes about
30k a year. She's a data analyst. So your household budget is around 9,000, or you guys aren't
bringing in on average 9,000. Do you know how much your monthly expenses are to run the household
entirely? Insurance, rent, mortgage, electricity, water, clothes, everything. Do you know?
I know a few
those.
So my mortgage
just recently
got lowered
from $6,000.
You have a total
of what it takes
to operate
to run your household.
How much would it
cost a month?
The whole thing.
Probably around
maybe $2,500,
I'd say.
Okay.
So your number one problem,
Jalen,
is you don't know
what your expenses are.
So that's what I would do.
I would do a very,
very detailed budget
tonight
with your newlywed wife.
It's going to be very romantic
and very wonderful.
Sit down and you're going to do a budget
and
you guys are going to look at the line on we'll give you every dollar premium and it connects to your
bank but you guys sit down with that app and fill it out and if there's categories in there that are
part of your life that is not in the every dollar app add them there's areas that you can add
go through to a very detailed budget and you need that total of how much it's going to cost so let's
say it costs $3,000 a month to run your household well then that's great that means you know you
guys have $6,000 of margin, which is amazing. So there's some savings. I mean, that would be
incredible. So your premise that you're having a hard time budgeting because you have a fluctuating
income is false. And the reason it's false is a very small percentage of your income is actually
fluctuating. Like that's none of it. Okay. And so, because you've got her 2,500, you've got
your disability. And then you've got a baseline of probably close to 2,000 on the streaming that's
every month. And so the only volatility is what above 2,000 that you're going to make
and what to do with that. That's your only volatility. And that's not keeping you from
laying out a plan like Rachel's saying. So you've got to sit down to the discipline of
spending your money on paper on the app before the month begins. And when you give every
dollar an assignment before the month begins, as Rachel said, then if you get a windfall
and you have a $6,000 month instead of a $2,000 month, you quickly will know what to
do with that other 4,000 because you'll have it already laid out a game plan for everything
else. And it's easy to make your adjustments on the fly on the minor amount of your income
that is actually fluctuated.
Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey show.
But we help people build wealth, do work that they love and create actual amazing relationships.
I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Thanks for joining us,
Rachel Cruz, Ramsey Personality, number one best-selling author, host of the Rachel
Cruz show, and my daughter is my co-host today. Open phones at AAA-825-5-2-2-25.
Jessica's in Illinois. Hi, Jessica. How are you?
I'm good. How are you guys? Better than I deserve. What's up?
Well, I was just calling, I guess, with a question. So my husband passed away unexpectedly
earlier this year. We're both in our upper 30s.
I'm sorry. What happened?
Thank you. He had a heart attack.
Wow. In his 30s.
In his 30s.
How long have you been married?
We've been married just shy of two years when he passed.
Oh, my. I'm so sorry.
Yeah. Thank you.
So I guess I'm just calling with, I guess, looking for advice,
looking, you know, morally, just to see if the angle
I'm looking at as a right angle.
We had talked about previous to getting married or engaged after getting married
in regards to changing our beneficiaries on everything.
We were very set, I guess, intellectually, like with, on our morals and values
and what we wanted in life, our future goals.
We are in the process of building a home that actually we just got the occupancy
approval yesterday.
I have a daughter of my own as well prior to our marriage.
But I guess what I'm looking for is when we had discussed life insurance and beneficiaries,
we both agreed that we would update with everything that we had going on.
We were trying to have children of our own, like I said, building a home.
And then we both had conversations after marriage to, I guess, confirm that this had been done.
And I recently found out in going through my husband's estate that his life insurance,
policy, he has a term life and then a supplemental. And I found out his sister was the beneficiary
on the term life still so that had not been switched over as we had discussed. So I am only getting
half of the life insurance. So now having to finagle his estate, all the debts, so he did have
assets prior to us being married that I am now the heir of his estate. So I take on all debts,
including any credit card debt.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's not true.
Only if you want the assets.
Only if you want the assets.
Oh, right.
Yeah, only if I want the assets.
So how much in assets did he have?
Sure.
So he had about $155,000 worth the assets of what's owed on the assets, I should say.
That's the debt he had.
So what is it?
A rental property or something or what?
Nope.
So he had a decent size plot of land.
And then a building on the land.
And then we also built our home on that land as well, which the home is in my name and his.
But everything else is just in his name.
So the house is on a different plat than the rest of the land.
Yes, we separated the parcels.
Got it.
Okay.
So the land, the rest of the land that the house is not on was in his name, and it is worth what?
I'd say the land and the shop are probably worse.
between 250 and 300,000.
Okay.
And there's 155 owed on it.
There's a little under 100 owed on just the land.
Oh, and then 55 and other stuff.
There's separate assets.
Okay.
Yeah.
So you are correct.
The land, the equity in the land stands good for his debt.
You do not take on the debt unless you want to keep the land.
Yes.
And so, and that's what you're saying.
You want to keep the land, so you're willing to take on the debt.
but you don't get the debt automatically.
When someone dies, what they own stands good for what they owe.
Assets minus liabilities, okay?
Yeah.
And so let's pretend for everybody listening that he had assets of 30,000 and debts of 100,000.
You would turn the assets loose.
You're not going to take on these debts because you don't inherit debt in the United States.
Okay.
Okay.
You follow the difference?
So, in other words, you're willing, and I think you're wise, you're willing if you're able financially to accept the $155,000 to get the $300.
And it's adjacent to your new house, you know, so all of that.
Okay.
Now, then you're leading all to another question, so how can we help?
Well, I guess I was just leading more or less to give a little context in regards.
You know, my husband and I have been together for five years in total.
Our families, both very close.
I made it in with his family immediately.
I felt in love with them.
They fell in love with me and vice versa for my husband with my family.
They no question.
What's your question?
Loved them.
So my question is with my sister and he, for whatever reason, didn't change his life insurance policy over like we had discussed.
And now I'm only receiving half, which is not enough to pay for our home.
Okay.
So now I'm being forced to sell our home.
I guess. So my question is, is just looking for advice morally.
You know, I need to have conversations with her and how this has made me feel it's emotionally draining.
I'm going through probate.
You feel like she should give you the money.
Right.
As his wife.
I hate because it sounds selfish, but it's a life insurance policy, the purpose of it is so that we're not going out of phone.
Your husband didn't change the beneficiary, so it's not your sister-in-law's fault.
She didn't do anything wrong.
And she does not have a moral obligation to do this.
He had a moral obligation to fix it before he died.
Right.
But she does not have a moral obligation to give you this money.
Okay.
And it's not yours.
You don't have any rights to it, morally, ethically, certainly not legally.
If she wanted to give it to you because it was the intent, then that would be a kind thing to do.
Right.
And, but she's not obligated to, and I don't think you have a right to be mad at her if she doesn't.
No, and I understand.
that I'm I guess I was just looking to see an outside perspective yeah and I mean I hear you
Jessica that sucks that you know you your husband's life insurance is going to his sister and you're
like oh my gosh but we have a life here I mean that that's not fun I want to cry with you but I'm
kind of mad at your dead husband okay yeah you know because he should have done this you know
and and you are too really if you admit it but I'm sorry I mean but it's just that because it left you
a lurch. So now you're going to have to sell the whole kitten for Boodle. Have you talked to
this? I'm just curious if you've had any level of conversation of like the obvious. I don't
know. We've had conversations in regards to it because like I said, I was completely shocked by
what did she say? Well, she had asked for a death certificate and I was kind of shocked by it and I had
asked what do you need it for and she just said some time sensitive paperwork. And so then I
gave the death certificate and then I just I said can I just ask? Can I just ask?
ask what it's like what you you would need it for I guess and she's just like well life insurance
I was a beneficiary and I was like well I knew you were prior to marriage but once we got married
Drew told me that he had changed it so I said can you just call to verify with his insurance
company if you have a claim number and just verify that you are for sure before you go and send in
for this and it gets paid out and you're really not because based like I said based off my
conversations with my husband and she said had changed everything and what did she say
And she just said, I'm sorry, I don't know, I'll just say.
Yeah, you're not getting this money, hon.
So, I'm so sorry.
You're going to at least sell the piece of land.
You may be selling both things and restarting your life with what you have,
because you've been through a tragedy and a horrible situation.
So sorry.
And the paperwork wasn't done properly.
Gosh, I'm so sorry.
Are you staying on?
on track with your baby steps you can take a quick quiz to check your progress and receive a
personalized plan just for you that's why we call it personalized simply head to the show
notes click the link titled are you on track with the baby steps and complete the free
quiz that i mention it's free all right atlanta's calling korena hi korena how are you
hello good how are you better than i deserve what's up i guess sir i wanted some advice on
what to do or um i have two teenagers i have a 16 year old boy and a 19 year old and in regards
to purchasing their own vehicle i've heard you say before um that you would have them saved
and you would match um but because we obviously were not very good with our money before and i wanted
to know if if it's okay we're in baby step three now if it's okay to help them um
purchase a vehicle even though they're not going to put as much down or as much towards the
vehicle or is there any other way that they can have their skin in the game if we're able to
purchase like a $3,000 car for them well do they have any money saved no no they do have they just
started a job this week but it's part-time because they have school sure yeah but no they do not
Okay, your own baby step three, which means you worked your way out of debt,
and then you just asked me a question about putting your teenagers into debt.
That's inconsistent.
I don't want to put the, none of the way.
Well, you said I'm not down.
You said down.
I did, but there's no down unless there's a loan.
She didn't mean alone, though, did you?
Correct.
No.
Yeah, I think she just met them contributing money.
$1,000 car.
What, them contributing money?
That's what she meant.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yes.
What?
You misunderstood.
No.
No.
You didn't.
You didn't say down, but.
All right.
The, um, uh, um, all right.
So what's your household income, hon?
We're at 135.
Okay.
All right.
And so give me a scenario under which the 19 year old would buy a car and how you
would participate and how they would participate.
Tell me what that might look like.
Yes, sir. So I was, what we had spoken about is that, like, the example you give that they would save up like $2,000 and we would do the $2,000 and then find a $4,000 car.
Right.
But right now, because they need their vehicle to move around, and we do have another vehicle in the household, I just don't know if, like, gifting it to them and then find another way how they can.
No, so they, so you have three cars.
You have three cars, right?
We have two cars.
Two cars.
What's the extra?
You don't have a vehicle for the teenagers.
You have a car, your husband has a car.
My husband drives a company vehicle.
And then I have, I use one to go to work, and then they're using the other one.
Okay.
So then they can share that, you don't have to give it to them, but they can use it.
They can use of it.
It's your car.
And then save up the money.
and then when they have money saved.
If they want their own car, they need to save some money and go get one.
Okay.
But they can use your old car until they do.
Okay.
Yeah.
That makes sense.
That's all you need to do.
At 16 and 19, it's too late to start any kind of a matching program.
I would just tell them, kids, y'all can use this as long as you're living here.
But when you get ready to go out on your own, you're going to need a car.
So you need to start saving for a car.
And if you want to not drive this car, you need to start saving for a car.
car and there will be no car payments while you live under my roof.
Hey, yes, they understand that.
Okay.
I know, I just want to tell them again, yeah.
Okay, so Carino, I would be okay with you still doing the matching program, you know,
I mean, not until they're like 26 or something, but while they're still living in your home,
if they work, if they're working and sharing that car and they save their own $2,000 and
you and your husband have that to spare and you guys want to still match that.
Well, that's okay.
If you want to do that, you want to do that.
But there's just not a lot of time.
and so really if a 19 year old does this and they're living at home they got no overhead
they got no rent they got no food problem then all they got to do is go make a big pile of money
and stack cash so get your butt to work yes sir you know and you know he can make enough
by Christmas to buy a car hello yes sir that that's our plan that's her goal because we did
have a conversation i just didn't know because they were like older yeah if you want to help
them a little bit that like rachel said is some match that's okay
but yeah some level of match is fine and but the good news is I'm really helping you you get to use
this car for free you get to live here for free so you got no use for money except stacking it
to buy a car so stack it don't spend it and go get you a car by Christmas and you know go you know
you're 19 try working 40 hours a week let's see if we can't have four or five thousand dollars
by Christmas you should be able to you don't have any expenses so um that that's but
I'll if you want to put two more with it and help them get a seven great I'm that's fine
there's nothing wrong with that but that you're right that the inconsistency with our story is
that that we started that when our kids were really young that discussion and so that matching thing
has a whole different set of lessons to it that you don't get the benefit of the lessons here
because it's just a short term the lesson here is work hard stack cash buy something with cash
that's the lesson and and it's going to be a very short microwavable thing rather than a crockbot
thing. And that's the process. But yeah. And just, you know, because the culture and all of their
friends are telling them to go get a car payment, don't be afraid to repeat yourself a lot that we don't
do car payments for people that live in this house. But can a 16-year-old go get a car payment on
their own? I just, everybody needs to thoroughly understand what we do here. And 16-year-olds oftentimes
times don't hear something the first time you say it.
She said down early on, and you have attached, attached to that.
I am just saying, be real careful here.
I don't want anybody making assumptions.
This is how this works and this is how it doesn't work.
So that's the whole thing.
That's what we're doing.
All right, Mark's in Virginia.
Hey, Mark, what's up?
Hey, I'm getting ready to retire.
Cool.
And trying to figure out how to go from a saver mentality to a,
a spender mentality.
How much of, what's your net worth?
Seven or eight, something like that.
Seven or eight dollars?
Million.
Okay, good.
I was hoping.
Dave likes to hear that word.
I was hoping.
Good.
Way to go, Mark.
Well done, Mark.
Congratulations.
We did good.
So, Sharon and I, most people who do what you've done, you've probably started
from nothing and you've worked your tail end off and you've saved like a maniac and that's how
you got here. Congratulations.
Your success, you're a stud. Well done.
But now what you've got to do is, as you said,
you need to learn to enjoy money more than maybe you ever have,
and you've got plenty of margin to do that.
Because if your mutual funds are earning 12%, 11%, and you pull 10,
you've got 700,000 a year to do something with without touching the nest egg.
Okay, if you, if it all made, if your portfolio average 10% on 7 million,
And you follow me?
So you've got a $500,000, $700,000 income off of your investments without messing up your investments.
So Sharon and I have done two things to learn, to develop, to get past the emotional part of spending money because it feels weird when you spend money and you've been working so hard saving money, which is your question.
So two things we did.
One is we increase our generosity.
We're very intentional and look people in the eye like crazy.
crazy tips, crazy, catch somebody doing something right, just walk up and buy, put a set of tires on somebody's car that you're looking at them, they look like they need some help at the gas station, and let's go over there, the discount tire, I'm going to spend $1,000, put tires on your car.
And just start doing some weird stuff like that, just pocket money, random.
I have been doing that, and it feels really good.
It does.
I'll tell you what.
The interesting thing is it's the same muscle, generosity is the same muscle as a spending muscle.
Yeah.
It loosens up the spending muscle if you're generous.
because it's the same thing because you're letting go of money in both cases where with saving you're holding on to money both of these are learning to hold with an open hand the second thing we've learned to do is we just have the burn the money in the middle of the floor question if we're going to if you buy something for $70,000 and you burnt that money in the middle of the floor would it change your life not a nickel nothing would change so if you go buy a $70,000 antique car that you've always wanted whoopty doopty.
doesn't change anything.
Now, if you go spend $800,000, you could put a dent in this thing.
That'd be a problem.
The money and marriage getaway here on the Ramsey campus is a hugely popular event.
It sells out every time we do it.
Dr. John Deloney and Rachel Cruz here with me are the hosts, and it's a weekend-long event
at our Ramsey event center here on our campus,
and it is incredible.
It's life-changing.
They get into the details.
I can tell you that.
Tickets start at 7.49 a couple.
The next one is in November,
and then we're doing one in February around Valentine's Day,
February 12 through 14.
So you can get your tickets for the lowest price
before they end at Ramsey Solutions.com slash getaway
or click the link in the show notes.
And Rachel, this thing is with you and John doing it,
to start with people need to know that's like stand-up comedy it's going to be really funny
uh and there's a lot of awkward stuff that makes it really easy to be fun yeah well we do dive into
the two topics yeah in a lot of depth i talk obviously about the money side and how do you do this
as a couple what does that look like because there's so many different angles and approaches and
topics around that and then john dives into the marriage portion and so it is uh yeah it's a really
fun weekend and it's at a very impactful weekend because we want you to
come and leave, not just overwhelmed with, oh gosh, I have so many things to do, but really
a plan and an awareness in your marriage that you may have not have had. So that's our hope for
you. Yeah, some inspiration to do something even bigger and better. It's very cool. The money
and marriage weekend. Again, November and February, they sell out every time. And so if you want
your tickets, jump in there right now and get them done. Andrew's in Florida. Hi, Andrew. Welcome to
the show. How are you? Better than I deserve. How can I
So I have a, I got a truck paying. I'm 21. I got a truck. I financed 25,000 with a 23.8% interest. I know I'm done for that. And I owe 21,086 on it right now. And I pay on it for two years. And I can't refinance it because at the time of I got the first, the truck loan, I had a car loan out. And that car got totally.
and Gap didn't pay for it all, so I paid it out.
I have a letter from the finance company saying it's a paid off,
but they put a repo on my credit, and they won't take it off,
and I'm like $10,000 upside down on my truck, and I just don't know how to get out of it.
Who said the truck's worth 12?
The dealerships and Kelly Blue Book.
Well, dealerships buy it wholesale, honey.
So you looked at Kelly Blue Book for what you can private sale it,
or what it wholesale is?
Private sale.
posted right now for 15,000.
Ah, there we go.
And I was just going to use, use my own money.
You got some money?
You got some money?
My fiance does.
She's going to help me out.
No.
No, you don't, you don't take money from somebody you're not married to, honey.
That's another bad plan.
You're going from one bad idea to another.
Yes, sir.
So you don't have any money, you personally?
No, sir.
Okay.
Do you work, Andrew?
Yes, so I'm an electrician apprentice, but I just broke my
foot so I'm waiting on that to heal so I can go back I'm in a real tough spot how much how much do
you make a year when you're working full-time uh in between I'm gonna say 30 to 50 a thousand a year
it depends on the job and where I'm at with okay yeah when will you be back to work uh I'm not
sure I got a see I got a dog's appointment tomorrow to go over my race and how long ago did you
break it uh about a month ago okay so you'd be back
pretty quick.
Unless it's really some kind of...
You in a boot or like a scooter thing?
I'm in an air-cast boot, so yeah,
the construction sites don't like you on the job site.
Okay.
And when are you guys getting married?
We were hoping for December,
but we might have to postpone.
Why?
Financial reasons and just some stuff between us.
We want to be ready.
Okay.
Well, I would not take money from her
until you guys are officially married.
And so it would be you doing this all on your own.
And have you gotten any interest with it listed at 15?
No, not really.
Okay.
Yeah, I mean, that's going to be your best bet and to be saving up some money.
Because you're right.
I mean, I doubt you'll be able to get a loan for the difference.
That's usually what we say when it's upside down.
But with your credit and having a repo, it may be tough to get a small loan.
But that would be.
What can you do right now while your foot's in the boot to make some money?
I know a guy he owns his own company, and he's starting on another branch doing RV repair, but it's still very new.
So he's just paying me, I think, $16 an hour to watch YouTube videos to learn.
So I have some type of income, but it's not everything I need right now.
Why is he paying you to learn to work on RVs if you intend to go back to being an electrician?
Because he's really trying to just help me out
He would go to church together
And he's on a tough spot
And I just like learning everything I can
Yeah
And how many hours a week are you getting paid to do this
Right now?
Right around 40
Wow
Okay
That's a bright spot
Yeah he's a very generous man
Okay
Yes sir he is
Being very kind to you
So what I'm going to do
If I'm in your shoes
is exactly what Rachel said.
If we can't solve the issues that are keeping you from getting married and advance the
marriage date, I would not wait to get married based on financial problems.
I would wait to get married if there's other problems.
And you mentioned two things.
But you don't need to save up and have a wedding.
You're two broke children.
You don't have any money.
You're 21.
You've got no money.
So you don't need to wait.
two years and save up $20,000 to have a wedding.
Just go get married, for goodness sakes.
People do that all the time, and 40 years later, they tell the story.
And so, you know, that, but if you've got, if there are relational issues that you need to
solve, then do solve those.
I'm not telling you rush into something that doesn't look good.
But if you go get married, then that solves the problem because you've got the money then
to cover this.
And I wouldn't marry her just for that reason, but don't take money from somebody you're not
married to. It's going to put a strain on a relationship. And if there's already
problems, it's going to make it worse. Because the borrower is slave to the lender, even
your girlfriend. Every time, that's the way that works, a hundred percent chance that it changes
the relationship when you borrow money from somebody. Every time. So don't borrow money. Now,
if the relational issues are minor and you're waiting on some kind of weird financial thing,
put that to the side go ahead and get married if the relation issues are a reason to wait
then rachel's right i would tell you to wait if that is not the case then what you've got to do
is do nothing but work all the time until you get enough money to get out of this ridiculous
truck deal 25 percent interest in 25 thousand dollars for a 21 year old whoever sold you
that should be beat with a stick that's just immoral
it's just thievery they just completely saw you coming and screwed you but we can't do anything
about it now except learn our lesson and never go back on the property where you bought that
truck the rest of your life those are not good people get away from them stay away from
them and then let's get this stinking thing paid down and get it sold get you a $3,000 truck
and get your life back because this thing owns you right
now. Man, I'm sorry. I've been trapped. I felt that way. That's why I'm kind of angry right now for you
because I know how you feel. And you can get there, but that's our guidelines. Get you some money and
get out of this truck and or get married and get out of this truck. But the moral of the story is
get out of this truck. Get this thing sold, dude. Yeah. I mean, on some years, this is cost
in half of his annual income. I mean, it's just, yeah. Yeah, it's just no, more than that. I mean,
He's making 30 some years, yeah.
So you feel it, though, Andrew.
And it's a good list that.
I mean, learning it now.
The good news is you never have to do it again, the rest of your whole life.
This is one lesson you have learned.
And so with me, I do stupid stuff all the time, but my goal is just to not do the same
stupid stuff.
And so if you've got a whole list of stupid things that you never do again, people start
calling you wise.
And this one's on, this is on your list.
Look at what I did.
When I was 21, I did this stupid thing.
and I'll never do it again, and you get the whole rest of your life to live with that lesson
and be smart, and not let somebody ever tattoo you again on a car deal.
Oh, my gosh.
Our scripture of the day, Deuteronomy 7-9, know therefore that the Lord your God is God.
He is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love.
to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments.
Ronald Reagan said,
I've wondered at times about what the Ten Commandments would look like
if Moses had run them through the U.S. Congress.
Oh, my gosh.
Reagan, oh, man.
Jake is in Washington, D.C.
Hey, Jake, what's up?
Hey, how's it going, Ramsey, Crew?
How's it going today?
Better than we deserve, sir.
How can we help?
Hey, so, I'm getting married.
In 18 days, and me and my fiancé were in an incredibly blessed situation, and we're wondering
what to do with all of our inherited money that we have, and, you know, how to be responsible
with it, and how to, you know, just give back to the community and make a positive impact
on the world, so.
Phenomenal.
So who's inheriting money, you or her?
We've both already inherited it.
Oh, okay.
How much did she inherit it?
She inherited close to 4.4.5 million, and I inherited close to 300,000.
Oh, a little different. Okay. Cool.
Wow. What did hers come from?
Hers came from her. Both of ours actually came from our grandparents.
They just worked extremely hard and made sure to stash away a lot of money.
A lot of it's in trust in the stock market.
So, yeah, that's how they passed it over to us.
Wow.
How old are you, too?
Well, we're both 27.
Okay, cool.
What do you do for a living?
I work as a technology consultant for a big four.
What about her?
And she's a lobbyist in D.C.
Okay.
First thing I would do is establish a sustainable life on your income without touching the money.
hundred percent okay that you don't need this money to live on and don't become dependent upon it
that makes you a trust fund baby and you're not that okay you're both you both think gainfully
employed you have great careers you're obviously professionals congratulations and all of
that happened um out of your grandparents inheritance as well you inherited their character
their work ethic they're smarts and all of those things not counting their money and so let's
honor that by creating a sustainable life where the two of you build
wealth independent of this 4.3 and this 300k that's thing one thing two is you need to lay out a
very clear detailed itinerary our schedule of what we're going to do with this money
and both of you be in agreement with it because where people mess up is when they if you spend it
in your head or you invest it in your head you'll end up doing about eight million dollars worth
and you've only got four million.
So if you lay it out line by line by line by line,
and there are only three buckets that these lines can land in,
the spending bucket, which is okay to spend some wisely and carefully,
the investing bucket, obviously wisely and carefully and slowly,
and the generosity bucket.
You mentioned giving to the community, okay?
And so I'm going to allocate portions of this $4.6 million to those three buckets and say, okay, we are, we're going to live on this income, but we are going to use $300,000 or $800,000 of it to buy a house.
Okay.
Or something like that, but we're going to live on our income, all right?
And that pay cash for a house at 27 years old, that's a good investment, or whatever the number is, but it doesn't need to be a $4 million house.
make sense in your situation, but we're going to lay down, this is how much we're going
to put on this.
This is how much we're going to put on, this is how much we're going to give, and we're
going to do an annualized giving of this off of the income that this money creates.
And then we're going to look at the investments that are currently there, that you said
the money's invested in trust in the stock market in somewhere.
I'm going to learn about that.
I want to know what it's in, and you need to make clear, careful decisions about what the
money is sitting in.
if it's in a bunch of single stocks that scares me we're not moving it's a freaking bitcoin
okay we're going to be boring your grandparents were boring and steady and it worked and it
worked so follow their lead and then the last thing the last the third guideline i'll give you
so guideline one is creates sustainable life without the money guideline two is
lay everything out line by line in those three buckets generosity spending
or enjoying money, whatever we want to call that, and investing money.
Line item, then the third thing to remember is that you don't put money in stuff
you don't understand.
So you don't invest because your friend said to.
We're not trying to get rich quick.
We're trying to be the tortoise, not the hair.
That's what grandpa did.
And a good way to remember any of the stuff, the generosity, the investing, or anything
is ask yourself, if I do this with this money, is Grandpa in Heaven smiling?
Am I honoring his legacy?
Am I honoring the man or the woman that made this money by doing this?
And if you would go, my grandpa would kill me if he knew I was doing this.
Well, he does know you're doing it.
So be, you know, beware, right?
And so, you know, let's just, let's just be the guy that is honoring to this
because the opposite of that is somebody that goes crazy.
and acts like they won the lotto and you're not that guy I can already tell by talking to you
that guy doesn't even call the show and ask this question yeah yeah Jake I mean like yeah I think
totally agree with everything you said and I think the the detailed plan is super helpful
because it does take ideas and numbers that can kind of get foggy and there's obvious ways
that we're going to handle this and it's written plain as day right there
And, you know, to another element, I'm like, this is so fun that you and your wife get to set up a legacy that you guys then get to build upon your lives, which then can be passed down to your kids.
You understand your grandkids are going to get $400 million because of this.
Yeah, 100%.
That's the way this money works.
If you don't blow this, it's, I mean, your old man, or your grandpa was old man Vanderbilt.
And you're like the second or third gen.
I mean, this is a huge mathematical opportunity.
Yeah, no, I appreciate all their advice.
I think both of us are feeling the responsibility of this all, and we listen to you guys
a lot, and I think something that resonates with us a lot is just going slow with it
and learning along the way.
Like, there's no reason for us to, we don't need to make a huge purchase right now.
We don't need to, we don't need to, like, add that extra pressure.
We can be methodical about it.
We can be practical about it.
And as life starts to evolve and change, and after the wedding, we can make a decision.
And it's good to have options.
It's a positive thing.
But it does add stress.
And I think that's why I just wanted to call you guys and just think that that reassurance
that we can do this.
Let me tell you, the fact that you're feeling the weight of this means you're wise.
That's a wise position to be in.
That means you actually understand that wealth is a responsibility.
uh it is not a celebration it's not a thing it says oh i get to do anything i want to do now
that's childish but when you say this is a responsibility to future generations this is a
responsibility to generosity to the community this is a responsibility that we do this in a way
that we honor grandpa's legacy this is a response you feel that weight um it doesn't have to be
stressful but that just the sense of that that's the positioning of that in your spirit uh
really, that says a lot about you.
It says you're very, very mature.
Congratulations.
I'm very proud.
Your grandpa's proud of you.
I can promise you.
I can promise you.
We're proud of you.
Yeah, there's something, too, that it doesn't take the dignity of you all away because of setting up
your life as just you guys, almost pretending like you don't have it for a second as you're
like, okay, here's our life, here's what we make.
We're going to live within our means.
And there's something in that that also gives you.
that dignity piece that it's not just completely stripped because I think that's the other thing is it can feel so
you can feel so numb if you get this money and you're just like oh we're going to just travel the world and spend it forever and ever amen and that's all we're going to do
there's something about having purpose specifically for you in your own story and same with your wife of having purpose and you guys
make that there's dignity in that that's the right word you pick the right word I agree that puts us out of the ramsie show and the books we'll be back with you before you know it in the meantime remember there's ultimately
Only one way to financial peace, and that's the walk daily with the Prince of Peace.
Christ Jesus.