The Ramsey Show - App - Making Financial Decisions When Under Stress (Hour 3)

Episode Date: March 15, 2023

Dave Ramsey & Dr. John Delony answer your questions and discuss: How to manage an inherited estate, What to do with a large financial gift, "Should I pay off my house or buy a rental?" Using savings to pay off student loans, "My kids are having a hard time after a move" Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET Want a plan for your money? Take our FREE 3 minute assessment: https://bit.ly/3nInETX Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6 Learn more about your ad choices. https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the pods moving in storage studios, it's the Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that you love, and create actual amazing relationships. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, number one best-selling author and host of the Dr. John Deloney Show, is my co-host. The phone number is 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225.

All right, Heather's going to start off this hour in Cincinnati. Hi, Heather. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave. Thank you for Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave. Thank you for taking my call. Sure. What's up? Well, long story short, I became the primary care provider for my elderly neighbor in 2018. He did an amazing job throughout his life of saving money. And he left me the sole inheritor of his

estate, which is valued about $300,000. Wow. Yeah. Um, we have, um, I worked really hard with him to, you know, make sure like when I started helping him with his finances and make sure his car got paid off, he was debt free except for his house and he was already retired. So we, about two years ago, we started putting an extra 400 down on his mortgage based on your principles. So now I have this estate and I want to make sure that I do justice to him and his hard work and being financially responsible with it. And I have a couple questions that I didn't know who to ask, so I figured I'd turn to Uncle Dave because Uncle Dave is wise and Uncle Dave is impartial,

and Uncle Dave is going to give me some hard truths that I might not want to hear. Well, we'll try to love you well. I'm sorry for what you've gone through. I would imagine you guys were close. Yeah, he was my best friend. I'm sorry for what you've gone through. I would imagine you guys were close. Yeah, he was my best friend. I hate that for you. And you're single.

I am married. Oh, you are married. Okay. Yes, I am married. My husband and I just went through a very rough patch over the past couple of years, and it resulted in our emergency fund is down to $1,100 from $12,000 last year. Went through a rough patch in your marriage or in your finances? Yes, sir. In our marriage.

Okay. How are you doing now? We are a lot better with a lot of prayer and a lot of counseling. Good. We are in a lot better spot. Good. So, very, very good. What can I help you with?

Well, I think the biggest question that I have is the house is valued about $189,000. There's $46,533 left on the balance for the mortgage. It's a 30-year fixed at $5.75. But again, we've paid off an additional $10,000 over two years by just adding an extra $400 a month. Our plan is to update the house and clean it up and rent it out. So, um, I think our biggest question on the house is should we pay off the mortgage with the estate or would we, okay. Cause I've, I've been given some advice from a couple of friends. We were like, no, keep a mortgage cause it's a business. And I was like, your friends are idiots. You had a good best friend because the other ones are not that great

no we're going to get rid of the mortgage and so the house has equity of about so how much other money is there in the estate um well we've got about $66,000 between checking and savings, $10,000 invested in a bond, but it's been invested for two years and hasn't done anything. He's made more money off of his savings account than he has this bond. So we were going to close out the bond. And then there's a $10,000 life insurance policy. So you've got $80, eighty thousand dollars cash give or take

yes and then we've got a 2010 buick lacrosse with less than 70 000 miles what are you gonna do with it sitting in the garage sell it okay what will it bring um between eight nine thousand okay so we got ninety thousand dollars cash and we have,000. Okay. So we've got $90,000 cash. And we have a $35,000 mortgage. We write a check and pay off the mortgage. We put some money in an account to do whatever minor renovations you do. Mistake number one brand-new landlords make is they build up a rental house as if they wanted to live in it. It's not your house. It's a rental house. Yes, sir.

And whatever you do, you're going to end up doing over in five years anyway, so don't spend more than is necessary to make the home reasonably appealing to the rental market in that price range. Okay. Don't overspend on the rehab. Yes, sir. As if you were trying to somehow make his house nice again with him having gone to heaven or somehow. first first two rentals i did i did in my 20s but the first two i did i fixed them up way too nice like sharon and i were going to move

in them or something you know and we you know that we weren't the market for that particular house so that's you know you fix it up nice enough to fit that market because you're going to spend the money again anyway so that shouldn't be a lot of money he was the house was in hab was habitable he was in it so you know coat of paint maybe some carpet some light rehabs through kitchens and stuff but don't go in there and start just completely gutting this thing and spend a hundred thousand dollars on it i would not do Hey, Heather, can I ask you a hard question? Yes. Let's pretend your friend was still with us. Were you and your husband wanting to get into the real estate business? We had entertained the idea, but given our finances, we were not going to be looking to get into the real estate business anytime soon. Do you guys have a bunch of personal debt that you all need to clear up?

No, sir. The only debt that we have to our name right now other than our mortgage is one car loan with about $7,500 left on it. Yeah, you're right. That check too. That's right. And how much is your mortgage balance? Our mortgage balance is currently about 96 000 um we refinanced in 2020 to a two and a half percent 15 year fixed rate you need to pay that off as soon as possible

too so whatever you don't spend on this rehab which should be the majority of this money so 30 40 000 bucks or so needs to go on your mortgage. Oh, wait a minute. We paid off your car. So 20 or $30,000 needs to go on your mortgage, pay off your car, do a light rehab, pay off the mortgage on the rental, and then let's get your house paid off as soon as possible. Okay. Um, so would it be out of line to fully fund our emergency fund before we do anything with our mortgage? No, that would be in baby steps that's perfect okay yeah let me tell you this heather um i've moved several times over the last you know 10-15 years and my granddad passed away and he left me this before he had died he'd given

me this really cool um like suit jacket and it didn't fit i'm a little bit bigger than him but i always kept it and i always liked it and it i would put. I'm a little bit bigger than him, but I always kept it and I always liked it. And it, I would put it on every once in a while, but usually I put it on when I was moving and I was like, I'm keeping this one. And this last time we moved to the house that we live in now, I moved it over to the keep pile and I'll never forget. I had, I was all by myself. I had a pile of clothes and I took that jacket and I looked at it and said, my granddad's not inside this jacket. And I put my hand on my chest and said, my granddad's here. And my son comes bebopping up the stairs.

And I said, and my granddad's there. He's not in this jacket. This jacket doesn't fit. And I'm carrying it around trying to preserve these memories. And that's not where the memories are. The memories are inside my heart. And I put that jacket in the giveaway pile. And so sometimes we keep stuff because we want to hang on to these people they're with us whether we got

that stuff in that junk or not hey guys if you're planning to move sometime soon that's awesome i'm excited for you but you got to be real too in most places around the country you'll still be facing high home prices interest rates aren't exactly returning to their record lows doesn't make home ownership impossible though if you want to buy or sell you know make sure you're financially ready and that you've got trusted and experienced real estate agent to walk with you through the process not some family friend who just got their license or some guy who does real estate as a part-time hobby. You can find a high-caliber, high-octane, high-protein, Ramsey-trusted endorsed local provider agent

through our endorsed local provider program. And since we vet the agents from around the country, you'll have the best support whether you're moving from Florida to Alaska or anywhere in between. RamseySolutions.com slash agent to find a Ramsey-trusted real estate agent today. RamseySolutions.com slash agent. By the way, if you were thinking about buying a home, interest rates went down this week. I don't know how long they'll stay down,

but it's a really good time to think about getting in the market at this second. One of the results of the SVP bank debacle is the bond market got upset and um went the other way for a change and rates dropped you know in some cases quarter half a point depending on that so good time to get a mortgage locked in with churchill mortgage good time to see an elp and uh get a house deal going um i don't know i i suspect these rates will settle back up to where they were that this is a temporary thing uh emotionally driven off of this bank failure but um i don't know hopefully they'll stay down i'd love for them to stay down but um good time to get in if you're sitting on the

sidelines for some reason or another this is the time drew's with us drew is in seattle hi drew welcome to the ramsey show hey there it's great to be on. Good to have you. How can we help? Hey, well, life's been extra special for me, and I feel like heaven's kind of opened up for my wife and I the last month or two. We've had a very gracious gift from our in-laws given to us with a big amount of cash. And so we're trying to just figure out just how to set us up for kind of the future in the best way. I feel like I'm just kind of getting different ideas, pulling, you know, whether to put it

towards part of it towards retirement, you know, get that going, you know, have a couple kids, you know, maybe start a little bit of their college fund. And we have yet to purchase our first home. You do not have a home? you do not have a home we do not have a home my wife and i were both 29 years old um we have two kids how much was the gift it was 150 000 which is i'm still kind of blown away saying that out loud. What's the basis for the gift? So they, both my mother-in-law and father-in-law, they retired the last year. During COVID, they were able to sell their house and downsize,

and they were able to sell it, you know, obviously for way more than they had anticipated, given the high inflation of the homes during COVID. And they were being more than generous to us. And so it was just a, hey, here's a gift, and if you want to do it towards kind of your mortgage or whatever you feel is best, you know, here you go. Did they do that in this calendar year, in 23?

Yes. Good, okay. Please, as a sidebar, get in touch with them and make sure that they have gotten some tax advice because there is a way i'm sorry go ahead no what were you gonna say oh no i think yeah we did get a tax uh involvement with making sure everything's just reported correctly and that they have known um I guess, tax against them in the year 2024. 23. Yeah, reporting, I guess, for the year 2023.

Yeah, well, it won't be gift taxed if they did a unified gift tax exemption form. If they do not do that, they will get a gift tax on this of 50% or $75,000 tax. So, yeah, they really need to do it right. That's why I was concerned. And it sounds like these people are, this is their first rodeo on this type of thing. So just make sure that they've done that. Okay. You don't have any tax issues, but they could if they haven't done this right.

Now, what would I do if I were 29 years old with a couple of kids, a house i got 150 000 uh you have any other debt yes that's kind of i'm calling in i feel like i already know the answer um i do have 85 000 in student loans oh good lord okay well what i would do is um it's not it's not fun but i would be debt free and have an emergency fund and then the rest of it's a down payment towards the house yeah and so you know yes you got you got 50,000 to put down on a house is what amounts to you pay off yeah we have um we have some paid up on the side about 30,000 um since i came out of school a few years ago um and we have our emergency fund okay well drew you're fairly new to our stuff apparently we teach a process called the baby steps and it's the shortest right way from where you are to wealth it's not what you've been doing

but it's what it's how we teach people to get there okay and baby step one is a thousand dollars safe two is debt free but your house that frees up your income which is your largest wealth building tool larger than the gift you got by the way what is your income by the way um about ninety thousand okay great great income, so now what we're trying to do is get this income freed up to make you more money. So we've got to get rid of the student loans and any other debts that you have. That's the only debt you have is student loans? Yes. Okay.

So, yeah, you're debt-free when you get this check, and you put an emergency fund aside. That's maybe step three, three to six months of expenses. You start saving 15% of your income towards retirement, and you should have $50,000 or so left over to put as your down payment on your house. And that gets you into a house on a 15-year fixed rate where the payment is no more than a fourth of your take-home pay. Then you're putting 15% of your income away into retirement. You start your kids' college funds.

And then baby step six is we get this house paid off. And that's going to take seven eight years and that's you know so by the time you're 40 you should have a paid for house and you should have several hundred thousand dollars in mutual funds in your 401k and your kids college ought to be well underway if not taken care of by then you've got the money to do all of that if you follow this but it's not you know it's not like woohoo i got 150 000 let's do something cool with it i'll get you five thousand dollars in student loan debt so you don't get any woohoo moment with this i'm sorry you do grown-up stuff with this oh that hurts so man i hurt i hurt for you man yeah i might take uh five thousand dollars to go do something fun you know take the family on a trip or

something. I might do that out of this to have a little bit of woohoo out of it. But really, I mean, I'm just going to call on you to be a grownup and do smart stuff with it. Um, and because that's, what's going to put your family, if you live like no one else later, you can live and give like no one else is going to put you in the best position to win long-term. And, um, now you're going to have a whole lot of people tell you to do a whole lot of stupid butt stuff other than that but they're going to be what's known as wrong there's not anything else on the planet i know a lot about drew but this this stuff i got this down i'm the best there is at this and if you'll do this stuff it'll change your whole dadgum life in your family tree

so do it the way we're teaching hold on i'm going to pay for you to go through Financial Peace University, our nine-week course on how to handle money. You and your wife go through that, and it'll show you exactly what I'm talking about and why to do this. And we'll help you get not only the rest of the way out of debt, not only get this thing paid off, not only get this house paid off, but move in the right direction here. That's right.

Oh, yeah. Again, I hurt for but there's there's not another way yeah you got you just it's the hard you know we're talking about it in another segment it's the hard right that's right the right hard whatever it is i can't ever get it right hard right the right thing to do that's hard and that's just you know the kids call it adulting but it's just grown-up land i mean it's just and there's also going to be some private conversation with with their in-laws who might feel like well i didn't know you're going to pay off your student loans with this i thought we were gonna right and i just may be part of it they gave you that money and that is what it is yeah but that's that's what you should do with it regardless of whose opinion

uh is cross purposes with that it doesn't really matter to me. That's exactly what you should do with it. When we were kids, Dave, like $100,000 felt like it would solve every problem on earth. $100,000 will just get you started on creating problems. Right. It's like, well, that'll mostly get done

with your student loans, and it's like, oh, that hurts. with your student loans and it's like oh that hurts it hurts but you gotta act like an adult man yeah this is the ramsey show dr john deloney ramsey personality is my co-host today open phones at 888-825-5225. You jump in. We'll talk about your life and your money. By the way, if you guys have been blessed by this show, we could use your help. And many of you have been responding to this request based on the numbers we're seeing. So thank you.

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the algorithms that cause the listenership to go up and cause us to be able to help more people, and that's what we're here for. So thank you. Thank you for that because we're seeing our numbers rise dramatically this year. All right, Valerie's with us in Sacramento. Hi, Valerie. Welcome to The Ramsey Show. Thanks for taking my call, Dave.

Last time I heard you speak, I was with my 12-year-old son, and he has been frugal ever since he saw you. So thank you for that. And I'm calling today. I'm selling my cabin that is currently buried in snow in Tahoe, and I'll be making about $388,000. My question is, should I take the proceeds of the cabin and pay off my mortgage, which is $200,000, and I have roughly $50,000 in other debt, or take that money to buy another similar place, a place with no snow, where I could collect about $1,500 in rent. If your home was paid for, would you borrow on it to buy a rental property i would probably do that yes wow hey listen listen i gotta if you were standing here i'd high five you most people

lie to dave and you didn't so congratulations at least you told the truth. It's insane what you said, but you told the truth, and so that's good. Oh, no. The shortest distance between where you are and a high-quality financial life, including wealth building, is to get your home and your debt paid off. Then use the cash flow that's freed up and the increased peace of mind to rapidly pile up cash and buy rental property since you like rental property. But no, I would pay off your home and your debt. And then I would wrap, you know, whatever's left beyond that, make sure you have an emergency fund.

And then beyond that, if you want to start saving aggressively to buy rentals since you love rentals, that's fine. I don't have an issue with that. That's what I did. I've got a bunch of real estate, but I pay cash for everything. I do not borrow money. And Valerie, I'm going to ask you a question, but I'm actually asking it to Dave. Valerie, how much is your mortgage every month in your primary home?

It's $1,400 a month. I have about a 3% interest rate on it. So let's throw the interest rate and stuff all that out. You are willing to mortgage your home, your primary residence, for $1,500 a month in cash flow. By paying off your house, don't you hit that exact benchmark

by freeing up $1,400 to $1,500 a month in cash flow? Yes. Now I know why you're sitting next to dave but you do you get the exact same dollar amount and you have zero none no risk yeah you don't have to worry about the rent or not paying or snow falling in san diego or whatever happened this year yeah Yeah. Okay. That makes perfect sense. Yeah. So take, you know, what I did in your situation was I said, okay, 1500, 1400. I just said, all right, that means that I can set up a mutual fund for 3000 a month where I used to have a house payment and I don't anymore. And I had a little slop in the budget. Right. And I'm going to see how fast

that $3,000 a month becomes a million dollars in a mutual fund uh it never made it to a million because i bought real estate for it got too big but i used that my old house payment mutual fund is what i called it to see how fast i would build wealth as a result of being debt free you see what i'm doing and then that that got me there really quickly. And then you buy rentals with cash as you go, and that moves everything along. So well done. Very done. That's a cool thing. You made some money in Tahoe.

You know, dig the closing papers out from under the snow and get your check, and let's go. Works for me every time. Dan's with us in Orange County. Hey, Dan, welcome to the Ramsey Show. Thank you for having me. Sure. How can we help? Yeah, so I'm currently in Southern California. I'll be graduating soon this year, and will have my first job in Northern California while I have to move. And I have about $5,000

saved up in cash and some investments as well. And I was wondering if I should save that cash in order to move to Northern California, or if I should start paying down the debt that I have in student loans, which is about 90,000. What are you graduating in? I have a master's in business management. Good for you. And you've already gotten the job lined up in Northern California? Yeah.

We'll be starting this summer. And making what? 150. Good for you. Well done. Well done. in Northern California? Yeah, we'll be starting this summer. And making what? $150,000. Good for you. Well done. Well done. You said and other investments. You drove by there pretty quick.

How much is in and other investments? Yeah, I have about $10,000 in a Roth right now. Okay. All right. Stop doing retirement and have the money to make the move. The $5,000 to make the move is wise because you're going to make the move and you need the money to make the move the five thousand dollars to make the move is wise because you're going to make the move and you need the money to do that and then when you get moved um let's finish you know let's tear into the student loans and knock them out really really

fast because you're used to living like a broke college student why don't you just keep living like that and pay this loan off in a year okay in a year yeah how much do you make this year um relatively low just had two part-time jobs what did you make this year uh around 25 okay and orange county is more expensive than where you're moving to uh i will be moving to the bay area oh no it's not oops okay you got me so you're basically earning minimum wage with your 150 000 yeah no i'm sorry i think it's cheaper to live in space right now than to live in the bay area the uh okay so yeah but what i want you to do is live on as little as possible and pay this off in, let's call it, 12 to 24 months then. Okay.

In other words, you lived on $25,000 this year in Orange County. You moved to the Bay. Let's call it $50,000. You make $150,000. That leaves you $100,000, not counting taxes. Definitely. Okay. And so that's an 18 to a 24-month plan to pay off $90,000.

And listen, Dan, this doesn't get talked about enough, man. You're going to show up there with a bunch of young folks who are recent grads, and they're all making six figures, and there becomes a flex contest on whose Tesla looks the best and whose shoes. Don't play that game, man. If you can hang in for 36 months and pay your student loans off and get yourself – 24. Or 24 months, get yourself a head start financially.

If you had no payments at all, no debt at all, and you make $150 and you're single just out of school, dude, you're going to be set up to make so much money and build up so much wealth. It's going to be incredible. But if you carry that student loan around like it's a pet because somebody called that sophisticated, then you're not sophisticated you're just straight up stupid or you want to buy some fancy depreciating asset that sits in a parking garage most of the day just don't do it man don't do it a battery with wheels yeah exactly yeah there you go i mean yeah that that's what happens

so yeah i i good good call there good call out but damn be careful be careful to not fall into the trap of what everybody else that you're running with is doing because they're getting ready to make classic mistakes that I've watched happen over and over for 30 years. John's making a good point. Dude, I graduated from college, and I drove an 88 Tercel Easy Hatchback the size of a large roller skate, and I wanted to get the biggest truck. I left college, got a great job my first year, and I ended that first year way more debt than I left college with.

Just being an idiot, man. Just trying to keep up. Well, just trying to exhale. That's right. Yeah, after holding your breath in school. Hold your breath a little while longer and get out of debt. This is The Ramsey Show. Psalms 37 and 4,

Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Chuck Norris said, People need to realize what real happiness and success are, because success as an actor is fleeting. You can be up there one day, and gone

the next. Success in general is fleeting, as far as that type of success goes. All right, Mary is going to join us now from Idaho Falls, Idaho. Hi, Mary. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi, thank you for taking my call. Sure, what's up? So I'm trying to figure out kind of like my next move on what I should do for myself for work.

Just to give you a little background, I worked in corporate America, and then I became a doctor. We have no debt except for what we have have on our house a medical doctor md yes sir okay um six months we have like the six months expenses um i have uh we have 1 million 60 000 in like 401k roth ir I also, cause I worked with corporate America also have, um, when, when I, when I will draw on it about a thousand months pension. And so I don't have any med school loans, no, you know, nothing except for just the, yeah. So we moved from a really blue state to Idaho. Um, I was traveling back and forth. My husband moved up with the two kids so they could start school. And I was traveling back and forth until December of last

year. And I don't currently have a job right now. My oldest is having a little bit difficulty with the transition because we moved in the middle of high school as opposed to starting freshman year. He's taking advanced classes and was having a lot of trouble with school, and so that's been a lot of my main focus. How many kids you got? Two. One in junior high and one in high school. What's the nature of the trouble he's having? My two, one in junior high and one in high school. Okay. What's the nature of the trouble he's having? Oh, just electronics.

And even though we're pretty tight on that, but just not doing his score, not turning it in. He has all advanced classes, so it's not a brain issue. He currently has, like, a 3.8, but it is with me, like, really, hey, did you turn this in? You know, just, like, really on him. And so my concern is that where we live. Why did he drop it into neutral? Oh, just trouble making friends up here and just yeah so not like no drugs or anything like that so mary one of the one of the operating guidelines that i with my own two kids and

with folks who are struggling with kids is um relationships connectivity, and kids absorb tension. They absorb the adult's energy in a room. That sounds super woo-woo, and it's more sophisticated than that, but parents wondering around, what should we be doing? Do we make the right move? I don't know about this. What am I going to do? Kids absorb that, and it comes out all over the place.

And, man, it makes perfect sense. I wouldn't think twice about having a upset high school kid that was in the middle of high school and then got uprooted and moved across the country. That in and of itself doesn't bother me. What bothers me is what's the plan for reconnecting next? And I personally, as a parent, especially a parent with as brilliant as a mom and dad is the your kids have,

I would concede a couple of GPA percentage points for friendships and connectivity and choosing relationship with my kids reestablishing that over winning homework arguments on certain occasions. Does that make sense? Yeah. Oh, it's, I don't think, we're not arguing in that way. Okay. You know, it just, it just, like, I mean, things have turned around. I'm not, I mean, I don't, he's doing sports right now. It's just, he goes to a larger school.

Sure. And it's just harder to make friends okay if it was him i would just tell him like hey you're awkward or let's work on this but it's just you know it's not he really has a good personality he's got a lot of good things for him things are going better um because he's playing sports but it's just been a really long haul so so how can we help yeah right um i was kind of feeling guilty not going back to work right now. Why? Why not going back to work or why feeling guilty?

Why are you feeling guilty? I don't know. I've worked really hard to get where I'm at, but my family is most important. Agreed. I make the most out of between the two of us. I make way more than my husband. We're fine with just him working. And this is not necessarily a permanent decision?

No. Okay. If you take six months and get your family landed in a new city and you concentrate on 100 mom duties for six months with the game plan we're going back to being an md after that then i don't i mean it's not like you said i'm gonna walk away from all the work i did to become an md do nothing. You didn't say that. You said, I've got to help this kid make the turn. Yeah.

Are you using the kid to help you make the turn? Because I don't think you've made it. What does that mean, make the turn? Oh, I just got here in December. I know, but are you settled into the new town personally? No, we're moving. We just bought a house, and we'll close in about a month. So, no, we're living kind of in a glorified hotel apartment.

I mean, it's an apartment, but it's like transition. So six months from today, the nest needs to be made. New connections and friendships need to be forming. A church is selected. We're plugged into community. We're starting to build new community. We've had people over to our house for dinner. You and your husband get settled.

That'll help him get settled. And, you know, in six months, all of that should be well underway, and you can go back to work without hardly any stress. I would have zero guilt about doing that. None. Okay. Okay. The intellectual firepower you have in that heart for others you have, it's okay to aim that at your family for a season.

Yeah, this is a transition time. It's not required that you work 60 hours a week because you're not broke. That's the other thing. I mean, your family's not going to be in bankruptcy because of this. No. Not even close. You're millionaires. Yeah.

So, I mean, you know. I just never not work, so it feels weird. Yeah. Oh, you're working. You're working real, real hard. you've got to. I just never not work, so it feels weird. Yeah. Oh, you're working. You're working real, real hard. You're exhausted. You're just not getting paid. Yeah.

Yeah. You've been getting somebody pat you on the back in the check deposits every month, and that's been your validation. And it's hard to get validation from how hard you're working from a 17-year-old who rolls his eyes at you. But the work you're doing is real and very, very challenging and very, very worthy. Yeah. So I think if you said, I'm going to allow myself to feel guilty after this many months. But until then, I have a guilt-free zone. And give yourself a deadline.

I don't care what it is. It could be nine months. It could be six months. It could be nine months it could be six months it'd be 12 months uh you know but but i think at some point you're going to want to re-enter the workforce because that's who you are and um you don't want to it sounds like you you get uh enjoyment from it and uh but you you know uh there's no guilt at all on taking a little time little downtime and getting the family settled. Yeah, and that may be a signal that the work has wallpapered over an idea that you've got value in and of itself

to your kids and to your husband and to your family. And maybe this break might be the best thing that ever happened to you. I'd recommend having coffee with people who work at the local hospital or that work in businesses that stay connected there the intellectual stimulation will be good for you i miss that like man i i so i think it's important to hang on to but man take your break take your break take your break i think he's saying he doesn't get intellectual stimulation here i think i just heard that i mean i'm just saying i think i heard that. I mean, I'm just saying. I think I heard that.

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