The Ramsey Show - App - Money Doesn’t Change You, It Just Magnifies Who You Already Are (Hour 2)

Episode Date: November 30, 2021

Education, Debt, Saving, Home Selling, Retirement, Relationships As heard on this episode: Sign Up for a FREE trial of Ramsey+ TODAY: https://bit.ly/3rZTUAx Tools to get you started:  Debt Calculator: https://bit.ly/2Q64HME Insurance Coverage Checkup: https://bit.ly/3sXwUn5 Complete Guide to Budgeting: https://bit.ly/3utmVXi Check out more Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3fHhbVE    

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's The Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Thank you for joining us, America. Open phones this hour as we talk about your life and your money.

The phone number is 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. Prue is with us in Orlando. Hi, Prue. How are you? Hi, Dave. Thanks so much for taking my call. How are you? Hi, Dave. Thanks so much for taking my call. How are you?

Better than I deserve. What's up? So my husband and I have been trying to work on a will, but we have a disagreement on who would be getting our assets if both of us pass away. We don't have any children. If I follow the legacy journey principle, which I deeply believe in, it will break my husband's heart. But if we don't, then I have to work through my resentment towards his family. So could you give me advice as if you were my father?

Okay. I'm a little bit confused what you mean by the legacy journey principle. You have no children and you're saying that I said, or the legacy journey said to do what with the money? I believe that the assets or the money should be given to the people who deserve it. So it's regardless of whether those people are related to you or not. So let's say if you were to have kids and they don't deserve it, you don't give it to them. Or if you have a family member who are entitled. Yeah, I probably would use a different word if I can. I don't use the word deserve.

I use the word that I'm the manager of the money for God, and I'm not going to leave it to someone who's going to misbehave with the money, because it's part of my job as the manager to make sure that another good manager gets the money. That's different than deserve. I'm not sure any of us deserve. That's why I'm better than I deserve. So I'm not sure we deserve anything, but who's going to do a good job with it? So he wants to leave it to his family, and I take it you feel like they misbehave, but I felt like, I do see, um, why we have a disagreement now, because I don't think they misbehave with money. I think they, um, they, they don't want to spend. So, um, they don't, um, they're not generous, but they're not, you know, grateful. Of course, his sister is not grateful or generous, but I think she is a money saver. Okay.

Well, so she's partially good with money. She's good at saving but not good at giving. Mm-hmm. Okay. Okay. So, and obviously you guys, you know, you don't really enjoy her company. You don't like her much. Yes.

She say things like, whenever you are with a woman, meaning me, you forget about family. But they had a fight, you know, and then she never calls me or texts me when my dad passed away. But then she blamed him for that. And she criticized that I don't text her daughter. But, I mean, I don't think I'm responsible for texting her daughter. I give her daughter's birthday gift every year, or sometimes we skip it but so okay so do you do you have family that could be in the equation i do have family would you leave them any money i would but that's because we have different values, though.

They have helped us through thick and thin. So my husband and I both agree that we would like some of the money going to them. You do both agree that some of the money goes to them? Right. And the only disagreement is he wants to give some to his sister and you and his sister don't get along well actually he doesn't think that she deserves it but and he said that money should go to her kid because her kid is innocent which I would agree a hundred percent if his needs was constantly grateful and generous, you know, giving.

How much money are we talking about? Well, I feel like this is something, right now it's not that much. It may be like $200,000 because we're still working toward, you know, paying off the mortgage. But that would be something that would go on in the long run and our assets would accumulate. Okay. Well, I'll tell you what I could do. I mean, Sharon and I have a rule on this kind of stuff,

whether it's on giving or spending or disagreements of this sort. When we cannot come to resolution resolution we choose to do nothing and so um in terms of leaving money to his sister or his sister's kid um right now we're in disagreement because you don't agree with the way they live and the way that the relationship towards you has been and he feels some kind of a blood need based on blood only not based on relationship to leave her money um and so um what you probably need to ask yourself is under what circumstances would you feel good about leaving your niece or nephew the money because it's not really the sister and it might be that we leave it into trust for that person and when when they meet those circumstances, it is released to

them. For instance, I'll just make up something that I've seen people do, okay? This child needs to agree to give X number of dollars or X percentage of the trust away when the trust is released to prove their generosity. This child needs to be 25 years old or whatever number you make up. Okay. Some people would say something like they need to go through financial peace university. They need to learn how to handle money and handle money the way we teach. And so that we're in agreement with that and so on.

So it is not a reward for being nice to me, though. That part I don't agree with you on. The little nicky-nacky stuff, I text somebody, somebody didn't text me or didn't call when my father died or whatever, that's not what this is about. This is about you were given this amount of money to manage and you're going to leave it to someone else who also manages it the way you would want it managed for good and in my case as a christian they're going to manage it god's ways and so i'm not leaving money to someone that's not walking with god in my case and so that's consistent with our estate plan and with our kids our kids can disqualify themselves from our will by not choosing to manage money or live their lives that way

and they get to choose that they're adults i can't tell them what to do but then the result is i can't leave money to you if you're a heroin addict because you'll buy more heroin. That would be dumb. That would not be an act of love. And because here's what happens when you leave people money. When anybody gets money, period, here's what happens. It magnifies who you already are. You're a jerk and you get money, you become a colossal jerk. You're kind and compassionate and generous and you get money, you become unbelievably

outrageously generous. You become more of what you are. It magnifies. Imagine a world where people never have to worry about money ever again. At Ramsey Solutions, our mission is to teach people how to get out of debt, build lasting wealth, and be outrageously generous. And that means we have to take on the toxic money culture that says you need debt to get ahead. Well, we're okay with that. We've seen millions of lives changed, and we will continue to create digital products and services to help people transform their lives. If you want to join me and the over 1,000 other team members on this crusade, we're currently on the hunt for web developers, UX designers, SEO and content marketing specialists, all kinds of digital help. Together, we'll disrupt the toxic money culture in America today. To get

more information on these open opportunities, text careers to 33789. Text careers to 33 789 text careers to 33 789 or if you want to learn about our other job offerings we'd love to talk, you don't have to live like that anymore, and you shouldn't have to. No matter how you've managed money in the past or how much debt you have, you can take control of your money. You need the right plan. Financial Peace University will teach you that plan. It's the step-by-step class that's helped almost 10 million people take control of their money and feel in control of their lives. You'll learn how to make a budget that actually works.

Get out of debt. Spend and save wisely. Invest wisely. Become outrageously generous. In fact, the average family pays off $5,300 in debt and saves $2,700 in the first 90 days of the class. We'll give you the plan, but it's up to you to get started. You can decide today that you're done feeling stressed

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All right, Daniel is with us in Vancouver, Washington. Hi, Daniel. How are you? Hi, Dave. I'm good. Thanks for taking my call. Sure. What's up?

So my question is, we are currently debt-free, and we are thinking about the college fund. We have a 21-month-old boy, and we have an investment property, and we were thinking to use that investment property for the same reason as the college fund. So we just keep it and whenever, like in 18 years or whatever, when the boy is ready to go to college, we just sell it and we use that money to fund whatever education he wants. I'm not sure if in like 17, 18 years, colleges will still be a thing. I'm a software engineer. I'm working as a software engineer without using my degree in college. I started like online stuff to get that job. So I'm not sure if college fund is still the way to go.

Well, it's certainly okay to have an investment for higher education. I think knowledge will always be a thing. Now, you know, does it have to have ivy on the side of a brick wall and be a four-year degree in German polka history? No, I think that's already not a thing. But can you get a degree in something that is actually applicable and valuable in the future? Oh, I think that'll always be a thing. Knowledge is always valuable, and I don't think that currency is going to change.

The delivery mechanisms are going to look differently. Higher education has stepped in the poo and uh and by continually raising the prices and participating in this disastrous epic student loan debacle that we have in america and um you know so i don't disagree with your summation or your or your general conclusion that things are going to change is it going to go completely away and there's not going to be a need to educate your kid no your kid's going to need to be educated in some form or fashion. I don't know what that's going to look like in 20 years, and I'm with you. I suspect it'll be somewhat different, but I don't think all colleges and universities

and four-year degrees are going to evaporate in the next 20 years. I don't think that's going to happen. But I think the market is going to force them to correct themselves and become affordable and relevant and they've made themselves irrelevant with the study of east czechoslovakian medieval art as a degree you know and bullcrap like that and this is just ridiculous and people are spending money big money to get degrees that are absolutely guaranteed to make you a barista at starbucks and that's all they're worth so yeah that they've made themselves irrelevant they've made themselves uber expensive but does that mean we throw the baby out with the bath water absolutely not education is important so if you

want to buy a rental house and keep it 20 years to fund your kids education whatever form that takes fine with me no problem with that no problem if you did it with a 529 either by the way either one's okay with me good question hey guys if you have not seen the most watched now documentary over a hundred thousand people have viewed it about student loans in america today it's Future. It's ours. It was produced by Ramsey Networks, and the Ramsey production team did a world-class job building this documentary. It is on Amazon Prime, on Apple TV. You can get it at borrowedfuture.com. You can get it on Google Play, and you can rent it. You know, it's gotten cold in a lot of your areas now, and people are watching TV a little more at night.

It's getting dark earlier. You're watching TV a little bit more at night. Hey, flip over and watch something that actually will teach you something, and you'll learn something. You got kiddos. You need to watch Borrowed Future. You know, and if you're a teacher, and you want to show Borrowed Future to your classroom,

we will let you do that free. Just get in touch with us at BorrowedFuture.com. Hundreds and hundreds of teachers have already shown it in classrooms all over America. We are totally causing a holy ruckus with this thing because we are calling out the out-of-control student loan industry and how predatory it is and how it has gotten just ridiculous. Just ridiculous. It needs to stop. It needs to be stopped. It's a disaster.

$1.7 trillion in debt out there. And it's just nutty. So, yeah, check it out. Borrowed Future. It came out back in October, and it's still going and blowing, man. Steam rising off of this thing. So good stuff. As a matter of fact, my good friend Mike Rowe of Dirty Jobs is in the documentary,

and he and another friend of mine, John Rich, had done a funny Christmas song about Santa's Got a Dirty Job, and it hit number one today. Knocked Adele off. So I was just emailing Mike a minute ago, Mike Rowe and John, congratulating them on having the number one song, Santa's Got a Dirty Job. So check it out. You don't want to miss that either. But, yeah, so Mike's in there.

And I was telling him he did a good job. He's a star, but he already knew he was a star. So you do need to watch Borrowed Future. You will thoroughly enjoy it. Sean is with us. Sean is in Philadelphia. Hi, Sean. How are you?

Good. How are you, Dave? Better than I deserve. What's up? So I have a question. I recently just got married, and we are trying to combine our finances. Good. are trying to combine our finances. We paid off our student loans as far as private student loans. The only loan technically that we have is through my wife's father. And I was wondering how you

factor that into the debt strategy. He said that he's not expecting it in a certain period of time. Doesn't matter. Put it right in there. How much do you owe him? So it's a lot. It's $150,000. $150,000? Yes.

What's her degree in? She's a doctor. Good. So what's your household income? We are currently making $250,000. Phenomenal. But that is going to go up when she finishes her education. So she's in residency? Yeah, exactly.

She's in residency, and she has until June she's going to finish up, and we're hoping we're going to average around $400,000. Wow, impressive. What other debt have you got other than $150,000 to her dad? So I have $40,000 on my student loans, which I'm going to pay off soon, and that's pretty much it. So you owe $190,000. You make $250,000 today.

How quickly do you pay $190,000 making $250,000? Two years? Hopefully two or three years. Two. But we also want to save. No, you don't need to save. You need to get out of debt. You don't need to save for a down payment.

You need to get out of debt. You don't need to save for a down payment. You need to get out of debt. And that includes her dad. Okay. Yeah, so $190,000. So what do we need? We need $100,000 a year for two years. And you're done. Yeah.

And you're free forever. Let me just tell you what's going to happen. When you eat Thanksgiving dinner with your father-in-law and you don't owe him any money, it's going to taste better. This is The Ramsey Show. Thank you. Welcome back to the Ramsey Show. Jeff is with us in Phoenix, Arizona. Jeff, it says on my screen you're debt-free, man.

Way to go. Thanks, Dave. I appreciate it. Thank you. I love it. So good to be on the show. Thank you. Honored to go thanks dave i appreciate it thank you so good to be on the show thank you honored to have you how much do you pay off oh i paid off 140 000 very cool how long did that take it took me about 34 months good for you and your range of income during that time uh right around 95 up to about 100 good for you what do you do for a living i'm a pa physician assistant ah okay cool just talking to one of those and so 140 000 of what kind of debt i'm

guessing some student loans there yeah so the bulk of it about 120 000 was for the student loans and then about 20 000 there was some medical i had reconstructive jaw surgery actually so that was the other portion. Wow. Okay. How long have you been out of school? Just past three years. Okay.

And so basically your first order of business when you got out of school was attack this debt then? Oh, yeah. I mean, I was ready to hit the ground running. You know, I got super fired up before graduation, and then I was ready on day one. I wanted to go full on with the plan, so I did. Okay okay what made you want to do this and know how to do it and how'd you get connected to us yeah so my parents they were super early like VHS style financial peace university people um and then I you know I didn't know too much uh about you and then in high school actually I worked at a Christian bookstore and I think my formal introduction to you is there was a board game. I think it was called Act Your Wage. Yeah. And and we sold it in our bookstore. I think we used to play during our breaks.

We bought a copy. And and so I was like, oh, this guy. And then I listened off and on through the years. And then once I you know, and then when I was in school, seeing those loans go up, I just, you know, that constricting feeling, you know, sets in. And so I was like, I got to get, I got to do the full day plan. I can't, you know, I can't be Dave-ish. Yeah. Wow. So you, mom and dad were in the financial piece with the VHS tapes, and that makes you a financial piece baby. And then you get packed your wage in the bookstore

my goodness i don't know if i've ever had a debt-free caller that blamed it on the board game that's pretty i don't know if you played that you and sharon and the kids you know on your game nights i always wondered that but yeah we might have once to make sure the thing worked but um yeah it was uh and so we sold those things for years good for you man that's so neat thank you so you just plowed in man you've been beans and rice rice and beans you've been because there's not a lot of room in this budget here to knock this amount of debt out in 34 months no no i had uh i had a small amount like maybe like 8 000 saved up in my checking account uh that you know i had saved up as much as i could before pa school and so i was able to put you know a small amount of money on it

afterwards and then after that it was just it was super tight i mean absolutely no vacations I had saved up as much as I could before PA school, and so I was able to put a small amount of money on it afterwards. And then after that, it was super tight. I mean, absolutely no vacations. I didn't eat out except – I mean, I went over to Mom and Dad's restaurant. That's a really cost-effective way to technically eat out. Well, and they're cheering you on all the way, I'm sure. Yeah, yeah. They're here with me, actually. They've certainly been my biggest cheerleaders, that's for sure.

That's phenomenal. Okay, now that you did it, you paid off $140,000 in 34 months, what do you tell people the key to getting out of debt is? Because you are now a professional. Yeah, I mean, there's so many keys, Dave, and obviously everybody talks about staying focused and budgeting. I think to use kind of a medical analogy, I think you have to become, you know, severely allergic to excuses because,

you know, especially I think a lot of people, as you get, you know, midway through the baby steps or the, you know, baby step to the snowball, you really hit the mud and you hit the wall and you can get, you know, pretty fatigued. And I think that's when you start to, a lot of people derail because they start going after the excuses for, I'm going to finance a car, I'm going to finance this, I'm going to, and then sooner you're off the wagon, you're back to step one. So I think if you can just, you know, anticipate that you're going to have that temptation and then it's going to increase as you're going along the snowball, you can get out in front of it, um, and, and dig deep.

And it helps when you have people to cheer you on, or if you're, you know, if you got, if you're doing it with a spouse, I'm not, but you know, if you've got people to cheer you on, that helps you get through that. Yeah. The encouragement and the accountability, you don't want to look at them and say, I failed either. Right. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, you know, certainly when you've kind of set out for this and I've had I've been so blessed. I mean, God's blessed me. Absolutely. And then I've just been so blessed with family that's cheered me on from day one. And so I certainly I wanted to follow through. And, you know, I, you know, committed to do this for myself, my family. I want to be a man of my word on that. Yeah. Well done, sir. I'm proud of you.

How's it feel to be free? Oh, great. It was interesting, Dave, when I made the last payment. We actually had a family tragedy a week before then, lost a close relative. And so actually making the final payment, it took a long time for that reason, for it to actually set in. But when it finally did set in, it felt like it took a couple months. It just felt amazing to have finally um to have finally been there it's just incredible yeah you sit down with your check and it doesn't have to go back out to somebody else exactly you have a moment right there yeah i had the muscle memory i wanted to log back on the delnet and make another

student loan payment but uh it just kept saying zero so yeah you gave sally may her official official eviction notice well i did she's out she's gone kick the old woman into the street i like it well done man exactly well done good for you good for you thank you well jeff we've got a copy of the baby steps millionaires book that comes out in january we're going to send you an early release copy because we fully expect you to be a Baby Steps millionaire. That's the next chapter in your story. First chapter, get out of debt. Second chapter, be wealthy.

Third chapter, be outrageously generous. So just keep it up, man. And you picked out a wonderful career field to get into, and you've been very diligent to live your life well as a grown-up adult. Adults devise a plan and follow it. Children do what feels good. And we got a copy of Total Money Makeover for you to give to someone else.

Maybe you can inspire them the way that old Act Your Wage game inspired you years ago. Who knew? Who knew? Maybe. I may give them a board game, too. There you go. I like it. That's fun.

All right. Jeff from Phoenix, too. There you go. I like it. That's fun. All right, Jeff from Phoenix, Arizona, $140,000 paid off in 34 months, making $95,000 to $100,000. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. Three, two, one. I'm debt-free! Yeah! Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Love it! Well, that is exactly how it's done, ladies and gentlemen. That's the thing. So here's the deal. People do not get out of debt because of their incomes. People do not get out of debt because of mathematics. Personal finance is 80% behavior. It's only 20% head knowledge.

The formulas here a sixth grader can grasp. Live on less than you make. You are not in Congress. Live on less than you make. You are not in Congress. Live on less than you make. When you take in more than you put out, you have margin, you have spread to be generous and to reduce and get rid of debt. But you have to quit spending so much.

You have to quit buying things with money that you don't have to impress people you don't really like. You have to quit living a life that is bigger than your income. You need to do what that board game said, act your wage. You need to live within your dadgum income. That's being a grown-up. You're not entitled to squat.

Well, I feel like I'm due. You're not due anything unless you save up and pay for it in cash. That's the only way. When you earn it, that's when we know it's right that you should buy it. Until then, you shouldn't be buying it. And even then, you might not should be buying it. Dave Ramsey wants me to work on minimum wage and live and have no life. No, Dave Ramsey wants you to be wealthy, duper.

And I'm going to show you how to be wealthy, but it requires paying a price. No one wins at anything without paying a price to win. You weren't struck by lightning and made God. You're just you. The principles of gravity and of getting out of debt apply to you. They're called the truth. And when you decide the person in my mirror has got to behave, only then will you begin to begin to get out of debt so that you can build wealth. But if you want to be a millionaire, I can show you how. A hundred times out of a hundred, it works.

I can show you exactly how, but it's a hard journey because it requires dealing with that guy or gal in your mirror. Then they got issues, just like my mirror does. This is The Ramsey Show. I'm David S. Diego is with us in Phoenix, Arizona. Hi, Diego. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave. How are you doing?

Thank you for taking my call. Sure. What's up? First-time caller, first-time listener. Honestly, I just started listening to you since probably about Sunday. Oh, wow. Okay. I'm wow. Okay. I'm honored.

How can I help? I'm in about $100,000 in debt. And I purchased a home about 2016. And I purchased it with my brother-in-law. And him and his wife lived with me, my wife and my daughter. And I don't know, it's just been getting too much for me already.

I just want to do my own thing with my family and just live us on our own already. But part of that $100,000 I'm in debt is to him. He's been helping us a lot. He has his job. He's the owner of his own company. He makes about over $100,000 a year. I just started truck driving, and I'm barely making... I just started making $50,000 a year, $51,000 a year about two months ago. Before that, I was a phlebotomist and just making

$30,000 a year. And I don't know, what would you recommend? Having us just sell the house and give him his part of whatever we profited of it, and then whatever I've profited, just pay him off and pay all my debt off and start fresh with my family

and try to get into another house, or what would you recommend me doing? Well, if you did all of that, you won't get another house. You've got to get out of debt first, so you'd be in a rental. So the home you're living in that you own with him, is there a mortgage on it? Yes, there's a mortgage. Are you on the mortgage? Yes. I was the one that got the loan. Me and my wife, my wife doesn't work, so I'm doing one that has income at home for us. Okay. And how much do you owe your brother-in-law? I owe him about, man, almost $15,000. Okay.

What's the other $85,000 that you have in debt? About $40,000 at school. Like I said, I'm a phlebotomist, but I was going to school to be a laboratory tech. I stopped going just for different reasons, and I became a phlebotomist, and I never went back to school. So I pretty much have a semester left before I actually have my degree. different reasons and i became a phlebotomist and i never went back to school so i just want pretty much have a semester left before i okay so you got 40k student loans 15 to your brother-in-law what's the rest of it and then um about 10 000 in credit cards and then 35 000 or so in a vehicle

okay on a single car you owe 35 000 thousand dollars yeah it's a brand new car does your wife work outside the home no she just to stay at home mom okay well when you make fifty one thousand dollars a year a thirty five thousand dollar car loan is what's called insanity yeah yeah you got to sell this car okay it's ridiculous it's killing you've got to sell this car. Okay. It's ridiculous. It's killing you. You've got a $700 car payment, don't you? $600. Yeah, almost like I've done this before. Yeah, and so, man, oh, man.

Yeah, no wonder you're drowning here. So what is the house that you're living in? What's the house you're living in worth? Well, I just looked it up on Google and on zillow and stuff like that and it's showing about 300 and it was like 370 000 already and we only owe 175 okay so there's about 100 equity and there's about 100 equity in there and when you're selling your car, you could be debt-free and have a little money in your pocket living in an apartment or a rental house. Yes. Making $51,000 a year, and you'd be debt-free. You would pay him back, and you'd be rid of the vehicle.

Yeah. Yeah. And that's just for the next three months. By March, I should be, because like I said, I just started truck driving, and the company I'm at, I'm going to be a junior driver. So within three to four months, I'm going to be making $62,000. Yeah, still doesn't work for a $35,000 car loan. Yep.

That car is out of control, so it's gone. It's got to go. Now, so when you guys bought the house together, did you have an agreement on at what point this would end? No. Honestly, my father-in-law and my brother-in-law. You thought you would live with him until you're 80? Not me, honestly.

My brother-in-law, his wife is my wife's older sister. Yeah. But you thought you were, all of you, you didn't have an end date to this or a way of getting out of this deal. You guys just signed up and thought you were going to live there forever. Until for now. Until I don't know who knows when. Yeah.

Well, I know when, next week. So, yeah, you guys need to sell it. Sell it? Yeah, so that you can get out of debt and so that you can pay him back and so your family can be on your own and renting. You're broke. Yeah, because that's, to me, my biggest argument all the time, that there's no money.

No matter how much we do, we're still living there and more and more and more. Exactly. And that's due to two things. That's due to two things. You have a house loan that you can't afford and a car loan that you can't afford. And you've had some job problems, but now you've got the job thing straightened out. Yep. Okay, so if we get the income going and we've got the outgo, the spending going down,

because we get rid of this house deal and we get rid of this car, suddenly you're going to have a great life. Can you imagine what it would be like to have no payments in the world and be renting? Yep. That can be yours. Sell the car, sell the house. Okay, let me see my next question, which is renting. Like I said, we want to do stuff on our own.

My parents own a little ranch. They have a guest house in the back. It's a total private house. It's not connected to a stuff on our own. My parents own a little ranch. They have a guest house in the back. It's a private house. It's not connected to a main house or nothing. It's a one-bedroom, one-bath, small living room. How many kids have you got? I just have a little four-year-old daughter. She's going to be four in December.

I don't think this is probably going to work because I don't think your wife's going to be real thrilled with this. Yeah, she's not. I think if you have no debt, listen, listen, listen. If you have no debt, no car payment, no house payment, and you rent something conservatively, you guys can spend the next two years getting on your feet and saving up a down payment and buying a home. Okay. But you're going to have to clean up the dadgum mess to get started.

You're underwater right now. You've got a car that's a mess. You've got a house that's a mess. You've got a living situation that's untenable. And so you're exactly right. I mean, you know what to do. You just wanted me to tell you. Sell the car.

Sell the house. Pay off your brother-in-law. Pay off your student loan. Pay off your credit cards. Cut them up. Never have another car payment again, never have another credit card again, rent something inexpensive, get yourself on a budget, and turn things around. You can do all of this, and I can show you how.

I can show you how to do every bit of it. So hang on. I'll have Laura send you a copy of the book, The Total Money Makeover, and show you and your wife exactly what to do. And if you like that and really want to get into it, you can get into Financial Peace University. But for right now, I'll send you that book and show you and your wife exactly what to do and if you like that and really want to get into it you can get into financial peace university but for right now i'll send you that book and get you started elizabeth is with us in lincoln nebraska hi elizabeth how are you hi i'm doing well thanks for taking my call dave sure i'm a little short on time how can i help right quick

okay well um short answer or the short part of the story is my parents have no annual income, and they are not willing to go and get other forms of employment. And so my husband and I are concerned that we'll end up paying for their retirement and for my younger sister, who's a teenager and has Down syndrome and will likely be dependent for the rest of her life. So they're going to go get jobs when they get hungry. Well, that's what I would assume. But for the past 10 years, they've been living off of government aid and loans from family members. Okay. So from you, as long as those people, I've loaned them $10,000 and I haven't seen a penny of that come back. and loans from family members. Okay. From you? As long as those people. I've loaned them $10,000, and I haven't seen a penny of that come back. Are you through doing that?

No. Are you through loaning them money? I'm through loaning them money. Good. Good. That's an excellent start. You can't make mom and dad behave, hon. I'd like to, but their locus of control is theirs. They get to control

this. You can't even make them behave on behalf of your sister who's facing disability. And gosh, I wish you could. I wish we could make them behave. And all you can do is go become wealthy, and then should you choose as an act of generosity or grace to participate somehow in their future, that's going to be completely up to you. You're under no obligation to do that, though. None whatsoever. And they need to know that. This is The Ramsey advice in their life?

Let them know about the Ramsey Call of the Day podcast. It's a quick hit of advice about life and money in under 10 minutes. Check out the Ramsey Call of the Day podcast wherever you listen to podcasts.