The Ramsey Show - App - Moving Forward Means Leaving Other Things Behind (Hour 1)

Episode Date: October 12, 2021

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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Ramsey Show. Where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. Number one best-selling author Ken, is my co-host today. Ramsey personality sitting along my side here.

He is host of The Ken Coleman Show, where they talk about careers and purpose and jobs and getting one, a purpose and a job. And how about mixing them together? That'd be a good idea. Well, he can help you with all of that. So you got questions about jobs and careers in this crazy world we live in right now? Well, we're here to help. You got questions about life and money? We're here to

help. The phone number is 888-825- 5225. You know, Ken, our ratings on the show have gone up substantially during these wacky times because the and I have a i have a theory on this have you noticed that the world has gone nuts yes yes lost their minds out there

what is wrong with you people yeah so i mean, it's just a thing. And so, and like we're still sane and stuff. Oh, yeah. Like, you know, like we believe in like the truth and the law of gravity still will cause you to hit the sidewalk when you jump off a building and stuff like that. There are some things you can believe in that are true and safe and calm and kindness does matter, not just anger. And our pulse rate hasn't changed. So people are like, how come they're not scared over there at Ramsey Solutions? How come they're not? Lost their minds!

Because we actually believe in solid things and teach solid things. And so the great news about the stuff we teach here, whether it's in the career area, the mental health area, the marriage area, the money area certainly is, it works in crazy times and it's in the career area the mental health area the marriage area the money area certainly is it works in crazy times and it works in regular times and so i guess everybody went you know i need some calmness in my life i need some stability in my life i need an anchor that is based on actual facts not people just making up crap which seems to be a thing like you know the old joke was 88 of the statistics are made up on the spot, right? And so...

I think it's 98%. But it's like, right now, 88% of the science is made up on the spot. So... Aw, geez. There you went and did it, Dave. I did it. I did it. I went there, didn't I?

He just did it. I did it. So, but I mean, it's just... And people are lost. They're dead, God, I'm never loving minds. Yeah. And, you know, we could have said this exact same little rant right here about 18 months ago, and we've still been accurate, but right now it's just, we have the second wave of crazy coming through.

We went through the pandemic, and now we're going through the economic tsunami that is the delayed, you know, where does the tsunami come from? An earthquake way out in the ocean. So the pandemic was the earthquake way out in the ocean. Now we've got supply chain, labor shortages, product shortages, hyperinflation. You know, stinking. Have you noticed the price of your gasoline going into your car? $5 a gallon today in New York.

$5 a gallon. And I saw another headline that said... And they don't even drive there. No, they don't. They don't. You know, it's interesting. What we talk about here at Ramsey Solutions, whatever category that you just listed out, the reality is that when you've got discipline, when you've got a plan, when the crazy times

hit, and they will, you don't have to go crazy. But everybody else is going crazy because they weren't ready for it. They don't know what to do. They don't know how to get out of it and you're right it is a very interesting time right now where there are some people dave that are trying to elongate the panic i got my existential crisis out of the way about 30 years ago so i'm kind of i kind of got that one in my rearview mirror i went ahead and had my midlife crisis early and so um i was always an overachiever so you raised the bar so it's like

i was 27 years old so i mean i went broke lost everything the kids you know i couldn't feed the kids and i lost my mind and i didn't know what i was going to do and so that's all kind of back their ways and so i'm kind of like some of this other stuff hits i just yawn now i'm like oh is that all it is here's something i've i've never asked you on the show and i want to ask you because it's really relevant do you notice a difference between the headlines and what you see every day we travel the country uh still uh we live here in tennessee i just see a huge disparity between what we're being told is going on versus what i see every day do you sense that well i've been in five states in 15 days just recently i mean in the last 15 days i've been traveling we were doing stuff with radio i was doing stuff with uh when

i spoke at liberty university and so um yeah i i and i'm sad to say that both sides of the media because there's not like a media anymore there's the right media and the left media and uh they both lie all the time uh if it bleeds it leads you know and so i you know the right hand media is telling you that you know that if you go to california it's all shut down and the governor is a you know whatever and the whole the whole thing i went out to orange county it was like nothing going on that's what I'm talking about. Walking around normal. And I went to restaurants and a couple of the servers had masks on. But, I mean, it was about like it is here in Nashville.

And, you know, fewer rednecks. But, I mean, it was just, I mean, it was like I expected based on the news media to think I was going to Russia. Right. You know, the right-hand news media. And, of course, the left-hand news media would have you believe that we're all going to die tomorrow. And so you might as well get, you know, whatever living you have left out of the way because Friday's coming.

And so, I mean, you know, and I don't see that out there either. That's my point. I just, I quit watching them. A lot of them are friends of mine. That's good. And I just had to turn them off because my old friend Zig Ziglar used to say, he said, I get up every morning to read the Bible, read the newspaper, so I can tell what both sides are doing.

That's so good. Classic Zig. Classic Ziglar. But he's right. It's like if you took a week off. Inputs will screw up your mind. Yeah. And you join the crazy.

You join the fray. Right. I got a friend of mine watching CNN and Fox. Right. We're going to have to put the boy in a rubber room. He's going to lose it. He's going to. It's just going to.

Well, it's a good point. His brain is draining out of his ears. So what you watch, what you listen to, who you listen to, who you hang out with dramatically affect our decisions. So some of this crazy is a result of we're paying attention to the wrong things. Crazy people. Listening to the wrong things. Yeah. It's like step off the merry-go-round.

Oh, God, crazy people are in charge. That's the problem. Oh, no. Well, see, that's the myth, too. They're not in charge. I mean, there's all kinds of nonsense going on in D.C. right now every day. Well, that's nothing new. Ask yourself, how does that affect your day-to-day life?

That's nothing new. Get off of the crazy merry-go-round and realize you have a lot to do with you a lot more than you realize it it affected me when i went to the gas pump sure of course it affected me a few other times but overall other than that it didn't really affect me except to the extent i chose to cram this trashy input into my brain every day and then try to exist in a normal world. The only time I got nervous, Dave, was when the toilet paper got dicey. That was a little scary. Got up to the old neighborhood grocery store, couldn't find any toilet paper.

I officially got nervous. That was the only time. Shook me for about 10 minutes. And then I realized, eh, we'll adjust. And then I got over it. Aren't you glad I shared that with you? Yeah, and you have to know that if the biggest crisis that you've had in your life was TP, You're blessed.

You're in pretty good shape, buddy. Just pretty good shape. I'm just saying. Relax, everybody. Daniel Boone didn't have TP, and he made it. Which is why I adjusted after 10 minutes. Davey Crockett. Davey Crockett had no TP, but he made it. Which is why I adjusted after ten minutes. Davey Crockett. They figured out a way.

He had no TP, but he figured out a way. Didn't have American Express. He left home without it. This is the important than ever. While some circumstances can't be controlled, there are items within your budget you can take charge of, such as your health care costs. For nearly 40 years, Christian Health Care Ministries, or CHM, has provided a budget-friendly means of sharing for medical bills when our members need it. Learn more by visiting chministries.org slash budget.

That's chministries.org slash budget. Christian Health Care Ministries is a ramsey trusted provider ken coleman ramsey personality number one one bestselling author of the book The Proximity Principle and author of the new book From Paycheck to Purpose. It is in presale right now. It comes out in a couple of weeks in November. The Clear Path to Doing Work You Love, From Paycheck to Purpose. If you buy it now at Ramsey Solutions while it's in presale, you get the e-book, the audio book,

and about a hundred dollars worth of odds and ends goodies that we throw in with the book to get you to buy it pre-sale we bribe you so come and get you one right now from paycheck to purpose the clear path to work you love it'll be ken coleman's second number one i'm praying and hoping and wishing and maybe what you think i you know i think it's going to do well. We didn't know when we wrote it a year and a half ago that we were going to come into this type of an environment. And so we think it's going to help a lot of people.

And that's what we're praying for, is that it just really strikes a chord and helps people realize there is a clear path. Fifty-five percent of American workers struggle with burnout. It's real right now. If you want to change jobs this year, more than half of America's workforce are looking to leave their cruddy jobs so they can find something better. It's called the Great Resignation. But before you do that, you need to ask yourself, what do I like about my current job? What do I not like about my current job?

What does my dream job look like? What do I need to do if I want to have my dream job? Don't just leave for more money. That's what paycheck to purpose is all about. That's exactly right. You know, at the end of the day, you want to do work that makes great income, but also tremendous impact to you. That's when you start throwing around phrases like dream job. Well, and here's the thing. What you think is going to make you happy might fool you absolutely right um my contention is that a bazillion of these people that are working from home are going to find really quickly that they're lonely as a matter of fact we're having people from the technology field the developers and the creatives and the digital world, the data scientists.

That's the type of thing you can do remote pretty easy as far as the technical job goes. But there's zero community in that, and there's zero human touch, and the productivity goes down. But it sounds kind of cool. I'm at home with my kids. I get to it sounds kind of cool i'm at home with my kids i get to see my kids more i'm at home more and and the truth is the mit studies and the other studies are coming out already it didn't take long for this idea of work from home to melt down uh remote work to melt down and uh we're going to see a return to of those people that made a mistake they thought they were going to find happiness there, and they didn't. So what the problem is, is not the work from home is a flawed system.

The problem is that you thought that that was going to make you happy because you didn't like the people you worked with now. Right. Well, you fell in love with seeing the kids run around. You think environment's going to make you happy. You know, you just mentioned developers. We get some world-class developers here, and they came from big, big companies, very impressive resumes. But they come join us because of the contribution that they're making.

They see a missional result to their work. So it's not just the paycheck. It's not just the love of the work. It's the results of the work as well. And you've got to be able to see that because everything wears off. Everything shiny wears off so don't take you got listen you got if you're right now you're looking for a job you got your choice you really do you can just pick okay there's there's you know there's more people looking for jobs than jobs and so you can you can i mean there's more jobs

than people looking for jobs i'm sorry so you it's a buyer's market. You can just choose. So here's the thing. Don't choose based only on money. That's right. That's not going to make you happy. Don't choose based only on environment, like I get to work at home. You've got to make a choice that's deeper than just those surface things and get down into the purpose of what you're doing and plug into that.

And if you don't do that, the environment change and the money change is not going to fix your life. No, it won't. And here it is. The very simple depth that Dave talked about is this. Talent, what you do best. Passion, work you love. Mission, results that matter to you. When all three come into alignment, you're going to love showing up.

That's how it works. William is with us in greenville south carolina hi william how are you i'm doing great dave and ken it's an honor to speak to you congratulations on what you are doing for america well thank you sir how can we help today yes well i first heard you long long time ago when i lived in lived in Nashville working at Applebee's. And anyway, I realized that I didn't have the right size shovel, and so I've worked my whole life until I have the right size shovel, I believe. But my wife and I have been debt-free, but I've kind of been steps four, five, and six.

I've already, well, I've paid for my children's college, but I've arrived at the age of 53 without saving 15% and without paying off my house. And I'm just wondering, you know, to work from 53 to 63, I don't think 15% will get me there. Should I break the money that I'm able to save now 50-50 and do that, or should I focus more on a mutual? I've just never trusted the stock market, but, you know, you preach it every day. And I'm just wondering, at 53, what would you do? Well, we don't have to do anything in baby step five. Four is 15% of your income going into retirement and everything else going towards the house. How much do you owe on your home?

About $500,000. Okay. And what's your household income? It fluctuates because I actually had to start the company to get my shovel right. But it's between $800,000 and $850,000, $900,000. It just depends on the year. But it hasn't always been that way i gotta catch my breath here a little second did you just say 800 000 a year yes sir okay and you don't think 15 is gonna get you there no okay well i mean let's do it let's do it let's do a little math okay uh year one you live on three hundred thousand dollars and you pay off your home

well wait a minute let's pay taxes on that eight to nine so let's call it five is that fair okay It takes two years. And you live on $250,000. Wah. Okay. I'm not trying. I'm just giving you a hard time. Fifty-five years old, your house is paid for, and you make $850,000. And you own the company.

So what is the destiny of this company upon retirement? It will be sold? It's a garbage company. And what we do is it's really worth asset value at the end. There's really not a big pot of gold. The gold comes as you work it. You can't sell it while it's being worked for this tremendous cash flow? No, it's not that type of company.

I mean, I know what you're talking about. You hear these big companies come in and swoop in and pay, you know. Because most companies that you make $800,000 a year profit on, you could sell the company. Well, I just know that people that do what I do, they sell. I mean, I read the trade rags. They sell their companies for asset value at the end. So your trucks.

I'm really not looking for a big lick. Yeah, trucks and dumpsters and stuff, yes. Okay, yeah, all right. Well done. Very well done. Well, thank you. Love it. Proud of you.

In the old book, The Millionaire Next Door, and there's a few other pieces of literature out in the millionaire stuff, that one of the most likely to become very wealthy, by the way, is your trade. It's a dirty little secret, no pun so um but uh but so okay here we do so we're 55 years old you make eight hundred thousand dollars a year you don't have a payment in the world and so how much are we going to bank a year after of your 500 after taxes how much you're going to put in mutual funds um from that point from that point forward because you're at baby step seven two years from now. Right. So you're saying pay your house off and then save $300,000 or $400,000 a year in mutual funds.

Yeah, yeah. I'm saying it doesn't matter. If you flip it and do it the other way, you're still going to get there. Because you're right. You don't have a shovel. You have a truck. In fact, you have a whole fleet of trucks. You're just, man, it's amazing. So your income is your answer.

Yeah, but just lay out a very intentional plan to say, I'm going to invest this much. I'm going to pay this house off. Boom, boom, just like that. Wow. Yeah, unbelievable. Not to mention what he could save from his company and buy some other assets that make money. Unbelievable. Man. Mention what he could save from his company and buy some other assets that make money. Unbelievable.

Man. Ken Coleman, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. This is the Ramsey Show. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Jesus and Susan are with us in San Antonio. Says on my screen, you guys are debt-free. Congratulations. Thank you. Yes, we are. Awesome.

Nice. How much did you pay off? We paid off $46,027 a month. Good for you. And your range of income during that time? Roughly around $46,027 months. Good for you. And your range of income during that time? Roughly around $60,000. Okay, cool. What kind of debt was the $46,000?

Oh, everything. Credit cards, student loans, cars, personal loans, couches, family loan, you know. Mostly irresponsible debt. And Jesus kind of wraps it all up. Yep. I love it. Well done. so you guys were like normal very yeah how old are you guys 32 um I'm 30 how old am I 36 I'm 34 yeah I hit it pretty close almost like I've done this before okay so uh and 46 almost 48 almost four years ago something changed and you start on this ramsey journey what happened it did well we were living i wouldn't even say it barely

paycheck to paycheck you know i joke that scotch tape barely held together that the end um it was a lot of credit cards and a lot of praying till we got to the next month um and i had heard of you before you know growing up a good southern baptist girl we'd heard of i'd heard of you before but and i knew like the whole envelope thing which we tried but a friend of mine was reading the book and so finally i read the book and went oh that's what you do and just sick and tired of being sick and tired, so we buckled down and we did it. We did.

So, Jesus, she comes in, she read this book, and she said, we're about to change everything. What did you say? I didn't like it at all whatsoever. I am not the kind that likes to wait, but mostly like anything, if somebody asks me, I'm going to say I don't like it, but I respect it because it works, and I'm going to continue to use it. Ah, that's powerful.

He was so mad. He went to a doctor's appointment, and he was brooding about it, and the doctor was ready to put him on antidepressants. I was losing sleep. He was like, no, no, it's just the budget. I don't like it. I'm going to go ahead and grow up and get over it. Wow.

I don't need drugs. I just got to grow up. I like you, man. This is fun. You guys are great. All right. This is a long track, $46,000. Oh, I said 48 months.

It's $46,000 over 27 months. I did it wrong yeah you didn't even correct me you let me do that and so you did it in two little over two years ago you started the process and and so what is the uh the secret to getting out of debt your your pros you did it the budget yes budget budget and and like Rachel says, it gives you permission to spend, so it takes away that guilt. Like, you know, you have a clothing budget, you can actually go spend that, but then tightening the budget, you know, paying attention to where your money's going is a huge thing because we just ate out or we bought this or bought that, and it was just whatever, credit cards, yay.

And when you pay attention, it really makes a difference. And once you learn to wait that's when things really start coming together for me it did anyway you know that whole adults devise a plan and follow what children do what feels good thing hey so as you mentioned obviously you didn't like to wait and then susan brings this home tells you about it to the point that your doctor almost misdiagnoses you. How long did it take for you to go, okay, I'm going to start waiting and be disciplined? How long did it take effect?

We saw one of Dave Ramsey, we saw him live at a church in Round Rock. And just hearing more of his stories and more of the realities of, you know, how can stuff sometimes. It was kind of a turning point for me and I just had to buckle down. And that was like four or five months after I had brought the book home because I was like, he's nearby. Let's go. It's free. It's church service.

Let's go. Church is free. Yeah. You always tweet that right before you preach at a church. I love that. Well, because I get accused of everything else. So why not? But yeah. Way to go, guys. i'm so proud of y'all who were outside the two of you who was cheering you on

it was mostly each other to be honest yes and i became obsessive with the podcast so i listened to it quite a bit and it kept me motivated which then i would bring home and it's funny how it works we both had little moments of weakness and when i would get a bit, and it kept me motivated, which then I would bring home. And it's funny how it works. We both had little moments of weakness, and when I would get a little weak, she'd cheer me on, and when she would get a little weak, I would cheer her on. It's just the way it works in a marriage. Yeah, when it's working, that's how it works. You're right. That's exactly the way it's supposed to be.

We have a shared goal, and we're going to encourage and hold accountable, and we're going to lock arms, and we're going to get there together. It's a shared goal. And that's what makes all the difference in the world. We find very few couples where one of them fights against it that actually make it. Oh, well, we didn't. They very seldom become wealthy if they're fighting against it. So working together is everything.

Yeah, and it changed our marriage. Before, I was very resentful of him and his, like, like to spend money and dream of money, of what we can do with it. And I'm like, we can't pay the bills right now. Stop dreaming. But it changed everything. It did. Your program really helped us.

It really helped on our marriage a lot. Hey, I want to ask you a follow-up on what you said, Jesus. I thought this was really great, coming off of what Dave said as well, that both of you had areas of weakness, but you were strong for each other. That's really important to be able to own that, that this isn't a perfect process. Do you mind sharing, each of you, really quickly for other couples, where were you weak, and then how did you come along and actually encourage each other? You guys there? I think we lost them yeah see what happens when ken coleman answers

at first i thought oh i stumped him there was that time oh wait a minute they're gone are you guys with us no no technical difficulties yeah i don't know maybe uh maybe kelly maybe kelly messed it up i. Maybe Kelly messed it up. Isn't it Kelly messed it up? I'm not going to say that because I'm scared of Kelly. I still see him on the screen, and I can't talk to him. It's got to be Kelly's fault. Well, I'm going to go with that.

I'm going with it's Kelly's fault. Oh, I'm getting the death stare. I'm getting the Darth Vader death stare. That's pretty good. Hey, I'll ask that question of you. I mean, when you and Sharon started it, I mean, the very first time that a couple went through this, were you weak in an area?

Because I know you like to spin. You tell people that. And Sharon came in and vice versa. What was that like for you all? You know, our weakness might have been that we were so beat up and beat down that we were just afraid. Yeah. That might have been our weakness. And so it was like lost confidence and that kind of a thing.

And so she would say, yes, we can still do it. Because I was always the one, yeah, you can do this, yeah, you can do this. And then when I got, you know, one of the things I lost was my confidence. Sure. My self-esteem. Wow.-esteem because I lost a company. We lost our income. We got a brand-new baby. I can't feed my family.

I'm 28 years old. I was crushed. And so one of the things she did was just lift me back up in that regard. Okay, Kelly did her magic because she's magic and got Jesus and Susan back on the line. Maybe. Hey, guys, are you there? Okay, good.

Sorry about that. I have no idea what Kelly did to hang up on you, but we're sticking with it. So, hey, Susan, Susan, I don't know if you heard the question, but it doesn't matter now because we're out of time. I want to get you to be able to do your debt free scream. I'm so proud of you. We got a copy of the legacy journey for you. That's the next chapter in your story to be everyday millionaires you're on your way congratulations a copy of the total money makeover for you to give away for someone to start their

journey way to go you guys all right jesus and susan san antonio texas 46 000 paid off in 27 months, making $66,000 a year. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. Three, two, one. We're debt-free. Yeah. That's a deal right there, man. Well done, well done, well done, well done.

Man. And we actually technically pulled that off all in one segment. Got them back on. That was flawless phone screening for somebody that messed it up. If Dave doesn't make it back, folks, to the next segment, I'll be here. After the break, we'll still take your calls. If my body is found in a field south of Nashville, we'll know what happened. This is The Ramsey Show. We'll be right back. Ken Coleman, Ramsey Personality, number one bestselling author

and author of the brand new book, From Paycheck to Purpose, The Clear Path to Getting the Career You Love. Hey, it's on sale now at Ramsey Solutions. Be sure you jump in and get you one while you can. Brian is with us in Indianapolis. Hi, Brian. How are you? Well, maybe he's not.

I think we're having a little issue here. All right, let's try Ellen in San Antonio. Hi, Ellen. How are you? Hi, Dave. I'm doing great. How about you? Better than I deserve.

What's up? All right, so my situation is i took a job back in july and this was after completing an internship there through my uh my graduate degree um the woman that was supervising my internship put in a good word for me the job that i took was not um it wasn't directly related to social work as far as like advancing my career, but it was similar to what I was doing. So I decided to make the jump. However, I've realized since taking that job that it's not really hitting the areas that light me up and help me do or make the impact that I'm able to make.

And so I started looking for a new job. However, now that I've had two or three successful interviews and the potential to take a new job, this place had a position open up, and my supervisor came to me and basically said that they are looking to really lean on me and my social work abilities in order to fill that position and provide like Medicaid services and connecting our youth with that. So where I'm at right now is I'm trying to figure out if I need to stay because the person that I have a personal connection with who got me in that position is telling me they're going to need me or if

I should continue looking or potentially take one of the jobs that I'm going to have on the table and start doing things that are more like case management and will directly teach me more about the field and advance my career in the long term. Sure. Well, the answer is you need to make the decision that puts you on the right ladder or moves you up the right ladder. Okay. And so this supervisor has come to you. How specific are we talking about? Are they saying, hey, hang in there for six more months, or it's going to be available in 30 days? How specific is this opportunity, or has it been discussed in specific terms? They came to me yesterday, and they told me by the end of the week

they wanted to start training me on it, and the position will be posted within the next week or so. Well, I certainly would walk this out, because it's unlikely you're going to have an interview or two ready to go, or even if you do by the end of this week. You've already been interviewing, right? Yes, I've already been interviewing, and I have two very likely job offers based on how those interviews went.

Okay, and all three of these jobs are what you want to do? Yes, so the one that would require me to stay at my current place I'm employed, it's probably the least new. It has no more advancement opportunities in that direct position, but I would still be working with my internship supervisor and learning some important things about service provision and resource coordination. The other two are case management positions, and I would be learning a lot more about working with different...

That's the answer. That's the answer. The other two give you much more advancement opportunities. And they're what you want to do. The only reason you're hanging on is this relationship with the supervisor. Yeah. And the problem is... Because you're just too nice.

Yeah. Yeah. You don't need to feel guilt, by the way. I get this call a supervisor. Yeah. And the problem is you're just too nice. Yeah. You don't need to feel guilt, by the way. I get this call a lot. Well, they hired me right out of school. Yeah, that's great. But leave the right way. And I think you're more worried.

People are more worried about what they're going to say about us when we leave. And the reality is you've got to do what's right for you. 25 years from now, nobody's going to remember the supervisor including you yeah yeah that's a that's a good point and so you know what is it's not being selfish or greedy or ungrateful or any of those things it's you're not any of those you don't even have that bone in your body you're just a sweet person and that's that's what's troubling you is just a matter of conscience and so if the supervisor and the relationship there and the sense of loyalty to them was not in the picture, you'd take one of the other two jobs in about 30 seconds, right?

Yeah, absolutely. That's what you need to do. The act of moving forward, Ellen, and for everybody listening today, the act of moving forward means we will leave people behind, and we've got to get over it. Leave them well. Be classy. Treat them the way that you would want to be treated be grateful but do what's right for you so how old are you uh 24 okay uh you got any really great friends from high school that uh went down the

rabbit hole and you didn't uh yes i do yeah you left them behind didn't you i did that's that's what ken's talking about uh every one of us have that from high school by the way we've all got someone someone that we stay in contact with that we love and someone that we really thought we were going to be friends for life and uh we just went down extremely different paths and uh they either left us behind or we left them behind or something right and that's true when you leave leave uh any kind of a thing like that including a a former position you're you're they're leaving you behind you're leaving them behind whatever it is i i think you just go in and you do you quit with a lot of gratitude it's been my honor to work here what you've done for me has meant the world for me your uh appreciation of me

and has made this a hard decision uh and uh you take the other job all right i really appreciate it and congratulations ellen you've earned this the best is yet to come go are you gonna are you gonna do it are you gonna to do it? I really think I am. It's a hard thing just because she's a mentor to me. It is hard. And you know what? If she is, she will continue to be. And she'll be happy for you.

Sad. Yeah, I get that feeling. If she really is. Because I've got friends that have worked here for 10 years, and then they left and went and did something else. And I'm sad when they leave, but I also celebrate their successes out there. And there's a whole bunch of them that used to work here that are successful somewhere else now and on their own, started their own businesses. And I'm really sad that they're not here for multiple reasons, but relationally as well. But I'm a real mentor, and so I really still love them,

and I'm really still cheering for them. And with absolutely no economic ties whatsoever. So that's the thing. It is hard, though. It is. Isn't it great, though, that she's got that kind of character? Yes. Because a lot of people

don't they just go see ya i didn't even know this term it's like ghosting until about a year or two ago unfriending someone on facebook you know it's like about that cold yeah like as if they were really a friend in the first place no one has 8 000 friends come on right i got four and a half million apparently but i don't really not really that friendly with any of them. I like all of you, I'm sure, or most of you. But, you know, it's not your real friend. You know what's going on here, and I hear this on a regular basis, is what we fail to realize is the psychology of what she's talking about.

And the psychology of this at a base level is that it's confrontation. Even though're not going in and griping you're not going in with an axe to grind but the very nature of sitting across from somebody and you got to go i'm breaking up with you but it's not you it's me i think it is it's and so it's yucky nobody well i couldn't say nobody i think you and i enjoy a good confrontation when it's good. Yeah, but most people don't. But a breakup, I don't relish in that because there's always a tearing. There's always a tearing. And so I'm not trying. I mean, unless it's a violent breakup, and it needs to be violent.

But, I mean, most of the time, it's just this thing is a necessary ending. That's what it is. It is hard. And it's hard. As Henry Cloud says. Yeah. And so it's – but that's powerful that that young lady at 24 years old has that deep sense of loyalty and honor. That's powerful. And by the way, that is a character trait that is rare enough that it gives you a superpower.

It certainly does. When you have it. And here's the thing on this. You know, we talk about all the time at Ramsey Solutions, control the controllables. In a situation like this where you're leaving somebody and a company, you can only control how you act. So don't fret. I know it's hard, but don't fret over how they act. You can only act classy and grateful and then move on.

Yeah, you can't decide how they're going to be. That's exactly right. Wow. Ken Coleman, good hour. That's this hour of the Ramsey Show in their life? Let them know about the Ramsey Call of the Day podcast. It's a quick hit of advice about life and money in under 10 minutes. Check out the Ramsey Call of the Day podcast wherever you listen to podcasts.