The Ramsey Show - App - My Company Offered Me a Job That I'm Not Interested In (Hour 3)

Episode Date: June 25, 2021

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Music Music Music Music Music Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studio, this is The Ramsey Show. It's where America hangs out to have a conversation about life.

It could be money. It could be relationships. It could be your work and career. It could be mental health, emotional health. Hey, we're talking about it all because it all matters. You matter. I'm Ken Coleman, joined by my colleague, Dr. John Deloney. The phone number to jump in is 888-825-5225. 888-825-5225. Let's start it off this hour in San Antonio, Texas. Joshua is on the line.

Joshua, how can we help? Hey. I heard y'all talking about magazines. Nice caller. Just wanted to say I do have my name in a magazine. It's called NFL Magazine. Just wanted to let you know. All right, very good.

Thank you for that. My question is, do I follow my talent or passion? That magazine, apparently my professor thinks I'm good at writing papers. That magazine was actually an internship. And so I did the magazine. She thinks I'm talented at writing papers. I can get behind the mission of any company that has me writing papers, but I have no talent, I have no passion for writing papers.

Oh, so you're really good at writing, but you don't enjoy writing. No. What do you think you do enjoy? If you were going to take a stab at something, do you know what kind of work that you would love to do? I do. That was next. Photodurnalism. I love taking pictures.

Photodurnalism was my favorite class in college. I was taking notes. I couldn't even look at the professor. It was my favorite class. I was taking notes, like so many notes in that class. And then it was during COVID, but I didn't care. It was like the best class ever. Okay.

So passionate about photogenism. I can get behind the mission, but talent. So, I mean, there's so many photographers, like, and then, and then no one's calling me. No one's calling me to go be on their photography team. And just, and just to discourage me more, I applied to be a photojournalist for my school, and they denied me. So apparently I'm not a talented photojournalist. Well, wait a second. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Okay, hold on. All right. So just because you got denied doesn't mean you don't have talent. Let me connect the dots for a second. If you're talented at writing, in some form or fashion, I would call that storytelling. And photojournalism is telling stories through a lens. And I'm privileged to know a couple of photojournalists that are world-renowned, and they are great storytellers. And I'm not talking just with their work. You meet them and you get to know them,

and you realize they're great storytellers whether they have a camera in their hands or not. The thing that I want to make sure of is that you hone in on what are the talents that are absolutely necessary for a photographer to have? Because I'm curious to know if you are a creative person, would you say yes or no that you are creative? And everybody's creative.

But are you creative as it relates to visual things? Yes. I mean, like, creative as in what? I mean, I take my camera everywhere I go. I mean, I'm the photographer of the family. I mean, I'm the photographer of the family. I mean, I'm always taking pictures of the sunrise, sunset, the creative. I mean, I'm... What would you rate yourself?

What would you rate yourself on 1 to 10 as a photographer? Be honest. As honest as you can. I mean, I compare myself too much. So when you say rate myself, I'm comparing myself to... No, no, no. I didn't ask you. I didn't ask you to compare yourself. I asked you to rate your So when you say rate myself, I'm comparing myself. No, no, no. I didn't ask you to compare yourself. I asked you to rate your photography when you take it.

You've studied enough photography to know. And I'm okay if you're a little bit down on yourself. What would you rate yourself? Yourself, your photos. Okay, then a six. Okay, now here's what I know. Joshua, a six can bust his butt. That's YouTube videos, watching some of the best photographers.

That's lighting, lenses. I mean, you just go to school on what the great photographers are doing, and then you start to adopt some of those practices, and if you can see a difference in your photography, then you've got to show your work. And don't get discouraged because you applied for a position at school, you got turned down. What you've got to do is take a lot of photos. So if you've got to go get a day job right now to take care of you, go get yourself a day job.

Being a photojournalist is a job that you will probably earn your way into by showing your work. And you can do this on the side. So it takes the pressure off of you. So listen to me. A six can turn into an eight, maybe, with a lot of hard work over a long time, maybe a nine. And people will pay for nine. People will pay for eight. So I want you to commit to really training yourself.

And if you've got to take some online courses or some other classes that are local, even a community college photography class. Go take it. Become a human sponge. Who are your favorite photojournalists? I want you to answer that question by the end of this week. Who are your three favorite photojournalists? Even if you don't have them, go find them, and you begin to soak and study everything they do, and then you commit to being that, and you show your work. And over time, I believe you can do that.

But this is not going to be something that happens overnight. If you're willing to do that, then I think you can succeed here. But there's one last piece. As you're doing all that, I want you to eventually get to know some photojournalists in your area, in San Antonio, Texas, and show them your work. People that you

don't know and say, hey, I want you to be brutally honest with me. Do I have the artistic talent with these photos? If I work on it and I take tips from you and other people, can I be really, really good? That's the last piece there. You do that, young man, that it's all about starting out and sticking with it.

So, Ken, man, probably the most common question I get asked is something passion related. I'm not passionate about my husband anymore. I'm not passionate about this job anymore. I like this part of the job, but I'm not passionate about this. I just quit. My experience with passion, and I'd love to hear because this is what you do for a living. You help people like me who are grumpy on passion. I feel like passion has become a god that we worship.

And passion we've turned into does it feel good all the time. And the things I am passionate about in my life are things that I have become good at. And I've only become good at things that I have practiced over and over and over. And if I'm honest with myself, a lot of that initial practice came because I was forced to. Whether when I was a young kid, it was like, if you're going to be on the team, you're going to show up. If you show up, you're going to practice, you're going to work hard.

Or if it was Deloney, we're going to send you that draft back. We're going to send that draft back and I've got to keep working on my writing and working on my running, working on my writing. And then over time, I grew to love writing. That can happen. And I agree with you I grew to love writing. That can happen. And I agree with you that passion has been distorted. Okay. I define passion as this.

Work you love. It's for the love of the work. I love showing up and writing stuff from scratch. Or I love taking photography. If you only pursue something that you have a talent for, but you just don't get juiced, I think it's 50-50 at best that you develop a love for it. So I agree with you that it's become distorted.

It's not about feeling. Okay, we get back. I want to circle back to this. This is about love. This will be good. Okay, great. All right, we'll unpack it. Yeah.

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Save yourself the trouble before it's too late. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. I'm Ken Coleman, joined by my colleague, Dr. John Deloney. The phone number to jump in on the conversation about you and your life and progress, where you are looking for it, Breakthrough, 888-825-5225, 888-825-5225. Let's go to Chicago, Illinois, where Chad joins us. Chad, how can we help? Hey, guys. Thanks for taking my call.

I appreciate it. You bet. What's up? Well, tonight I'm going on a birthday dinner with my bride, and I need to bring up finances again. You know, I read the Total money makeover a few years ago and i i understand the baby steps and you know step one's done working on step two but it seems a bit one-sided and she's not fully on board which makes things difficult so is it your birthday or her birthday? My birthday. Happy birthday. Hey, Chad.

Thank you. Yeah. I'm just going to take a stab in the dark here, okay? Okay. A guy who wants to talk finances at his birthday dinner may be a guy that doesn't always have the right timing to talk about hard conversations, and maybe has a wife who is really gifted at tuning out and nodding

because Chad's got a lot of ideas about a lot of things in a lot of different places. Am I onto something or no? Tell me if I'm wrong. I'd say the first part's right. I would like to second my colleague's motion. Under no circumstances is tonight the night

to talk about how she needs to get on board with the finance issues. This is your birthday, brother. Enjoy your birthday. You're going to kill the night. I don't know what big ideas you had in mind so back us out of here so you got all excited tell us what she said when you when you think hey babe you gotta watch the youtube shows you gotta read the books you gotta i'm all in let's be all in what was her response well she's she gets behind the idea, but then doesn't really have the time to, I'd say, put into that.

Then she's not behind the idea. What is it about the presentation of the idea, the information, what is it about it all that she won't investigate it? Because if you came and said, hey, I've picked us two vacation spots that I paid for in full, either Hawaii or London, I need you to sit down and look through these with me, she'd sit down and look through. So what about this, this life-changing journey y'all could go on, that she says, yeah, it sounds great, I just don't have time right now?

You know, I think it has a lot to do with the past and kind of the upbringing with money. And, you know, we have separate things financially now, you know, five, six years into marriage. Why? And I think just making that. Why do you have that? Do you have kids? Well, yes, we have kids now. She runs her own business, so she runs a lot of things through the company as well.

That's fine. But you guys trust each other enough to create humans. Why don't you trust each other enough to share a checking account? Yeah, it seems like a sticking point on her side, not my side. And it may be of how her parents did things. And that's just what she's familiar with okay this is a marriage issue not a money issue marriage first money second on this deal one thousand percent okay my guess is there's other places where y'all aren't on the same page am i

right no no i chad this is the guy that's trying to talk finance on his birthday dinner are there other places where y'all are not connected i'd say no like we're so here's what i want you to do tonight i don't even think you know the answer to that that's exactly right i want you to ask her that question. I'd say no, but there is something that I don't know of. Let me tell you why I don't think you know. Now, John's the expert in this area. John, I don't think Chad knows because she's got her own money. It's not their money.

It's her money. She's running her own business. She's got her own bank accounts. You don't know where you guys are disconnected because you don't have any say. You don't have any insight into half, if not 80%, 90% of what she's spending money on. So I think John has uncovered something here. Right. Here's what you are, Chad.

Here's what you are. You're a really good human being, and you have a sweetheart. And I think you're a good husband, and I bet you're a great dad. Are you a good dad? Yes. Yes. Yes, I 100% agree with that. And I think you are a great roommate, and it feels like your wife and you are living parallel lives.

And Ken nailed it on the head with a mallet. This is not a money issue. This is not a money issue. This is not a how can you convince her to get on the same page and do the Dave Ramsey plan. This is a we're running on parallel tracks here. We share kids and we share a home. And so I would love to see tonight's dinner be about for my birthday, hun. I want us to go rappel deep off the edge here into

how long have you been married? Five years, you said? Going to be six. Going to be six. Honey, let's paint a picture. If you could snap your fingers, what would the next six years look like? What would it look like? Not just talk about it.

No, what would it look like? Where would we be sitting? Where would we be living? What would our kids be doing? What would that vision look like? How would we get there together? What would I need to do? How could I support you? How could I live into this? How could you support it? I want you all to create a vision together. That'd be a great birthday present. Not when we talk about finances. Finances comes when you start reverse engineering that dream and say, well, here's how we have to live today so that that thing can happen tomorrow. But you're not there yet.

Absolutely right, Chad. I mean, that's the plan, man. And do not start talking about money. If she starts sharing dreams, stay in dreamland. Stay in dreamland. Don't take it to money. It's your birthday, for heaven's sakes. Gee whiz.

You're going to party like it's your birthday. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Wow. How does that go? Drink B gonna party like it's your birthday yeah right yeah wow how does that go drink bacardi like it's yeah it's your birthday chad so listen again for anybody listening if you on any issue are just not connecting with your spouse, trying to give more information, say it louder, say it quieter, say it in Spanish, say it in, that's not the issue. The issue is there is some sort of defense mechanism, whether, as Chad said, maybe it's from their childhood, maybe it's they are tired because you're always got a scheme,

maybe it is, this is Dave Ramsey's plan is one of 50 weight loss plans and get rich plans and this is just another one in a series, whatever the thing is, it is Dave Ramsey's plan is one of 50 weight loss plans and get rich plans. And this is just another one in a series. Whatever the thing is, it's a connection issue. And you've got to get beneath that and say, honey, when I bring this up, what about this scares you? What about this? When I say, Hey, I would love to get out of debt and change our family tree. What is it about me communicating this?

I'm not doing a good job of selling it. Because the freedom part feels right. What about this scares you? And let them say, I don't want to give up vacation. I don't want to get a second job. I like staying at home with the kids. Let's have that conversation. Otherwise, you're just two trains going on the track and you bump into

each other every once in a while and you just keep going and going and going. Here's what I've learned from 23 years of marriage, and I've learned it from me blowing it. So I want to be very clear right here. This is not an expert opinion. This is the doofus. You are an expert.

I'm an expert at being a doofus. We make mistakes when we try to talk about strategy instead of direction. As John was saying, you've got to get connected. So there's a connection on direction. As John was saying, you've got to get connected so there's a connection on direction. Once the connection is made on direction, then we can start to figure out, but we've got to be on the same page about what mountain we're trying to climb.

It's worthless to talk about strategy. You can talk all you want to. Hey, here's how we climb a mountain. Here's how we climb a mountain. Here's how we climb a mountain. And if we're both thinking about different mountains, it's a problem. People make the mistake, and he wants to talk strategy.

She's not even on board with direction. It's worthless to say, hey, we need to do this, this, this, and this, and go, whoa, whoa, whoa, why would we do this? We've all seen a football team, whether it's a professional one or you play it on an high school or college. The coach comes in and says, here's my one goal. I want to win games. But there's always a receiver who wants to get a lot of yards.

Yeah. And so when the coach says, hey, we need to run these plays this week, oh, come on, I'm not going to get any catches. I'm not going to get any touches, right? You've got two competing directions there, right? You've got to get everybody together. Yeah, good stuff. All right, well, we've been there. We've done it. Speaking of been there, done it, we're. All right. Well, we've been there.

We've done it. Speaking of been there, done it, we're not done yet. We've got more to go, folks, more of your calls coming up. He is Dr. John Deloney. I am Ken Coleman, and this is The Ramsey Show. I'm Ken Coleman. I'm joined by my colleague, Dr. John Deloney. And we are coming to you from our Ramsey Solutions World Headquarters. Gorgeous, gorgeous place, by the way.

We've had a great crowd that have joined us today. And I want to invite you to come hang. Ramseysolutions.com. Probably come view the show. We've got the beautiful cafe out there, John. Cookies, hot beverages, warm beverages. It's great. All of it. It's fantastic.

And we love meeting people. So we'd love to have you sometime. Have you been paying attention, John, to the real estate market? Because I know you recently bought. And so you're like the new homeowner. You're kind of out there on the farm. I bought nine months ago. Have you paid attention to what it's done?

It's You know what? My 11-year-old's gotten into Monopoly. Oh. And there's moments when you just get in these little loops and your kid owns 18 hotels and you just keep having to. Right. It's like that. It's like that. Yeah. It's Monopoly money. It's hot.

So you know that competition is unbelievably intense. Inventory still at all-time lows. And when that happens, it means there's more buyers buying than sellers selling. Try to say that three times very quickly. And so that's turning the heat up on everybody. Buyers want to get the right house. Sellers want to get the right offer.

So this isn't a time for amateurs. And this is probably going to be this way for a while. So to win in this market, you need a time for amateurs, and this is probably going to be this way for a while. So to win in this market, you need a pro by your side helping you buy or sell. Our endorsed local providers who are real estate pros have years of industry success, and they're going to help you win whatever your goal is here in this market. So you can connect with an endorsed local provider in your area today. Go to RamseySolutions.com slash agent. That's RamseySolutions.com slash agent to find a Ramsey-trusted agent near you.

888-825-5225 is the phone number. Let's go to Taylor in Chicago, Illinois. Taylor, how can we help? Hey, guys. I feel so privileged to talk to you both. Oh, how can we help? Hey, guys. I feel so privileged to talk to you both. Oh, well, we are the one that are privileged. So what's going on? So about a year and a half ago,

my husband would let go. Basically, in a nutshell, he really struggled to communicate boundaries at work. And it wasn't like they were asking him to work more than 40 hours, but the kind of work that they were putting on his plate was so high in sense that when he did ask for more help, it was refused. And they told him to do a time study, and it was kind of a mess. And I should preface that by saying he's, like, crazy gifted and efficient.

And so they even told him he was going to get a raise, and then they never delivered, but they still added more on his plate without said raise. And so it really started affecting our home life, you know, our marriage and our children and just so many things. And then when things got to a really bad breaking point, you know, it just couldn't be in ministry anymore. So we're in a much better spot now, praise God. I mean, like I said, he's been home for a year and a half. He, thank God, he has a YouTube channel that does really well,

but we're really committed to getting out of this little debt that we have left. So he got a warehouse job on the weekend, but the end goal is to maybe get back in ministry. But we're so terrified, so terrified because he's terrified. And I'm terrified because what if it happens again? Like, what if we fail to set those boundaries or he fails to set those boundaries? And he's a yes guy. Like, you know, if you want him to jump, he'll say how high, where, how long. He's just an amazing worker and an amazing person.

But it ends up filling into other parts of our family and life, and it's just hard. Yeah. John is going to jump in here. It can really help. But I'm curious, what position was he in? And was it a parachurch ministry or was it a church? It was a church. He was a pastor. Staff pastor?

Worship pastor. Like I said, they promised a raise and then after finally asking three times, hey, where's the raise, where's the raise, they finally gave it but it wasn't nearly what it was promised. I want John to speak to the boundaries issue, but I want to make a statement that I hope you take back to your husband. Maybe he can watch this on YouTube because we're talking about him.

Yeah. He's tall, but like I said, he's working pretty much 80 hours a week now. Yeah. Well, so here's the deal. The fear that every church leadership structure is going to be like it was is just nonsense. It's just nonsense. He knows what an unhealthy leadership structure looks like. He can identify it.

He can taste it, smell it, point it out a mile away. And he needs to be armed with that confidence that that's not always going to be the case. But he's a part of the equation, too. That's where I hand the baton to my much more capable colleague on his boundary issues. Well, I could guess what it is, but not talking to him. But he can't assume. So that fear is misguided.

That needs to be just blown up. But his boundary issue is part of the problem. A big part. The fear is real. It's real, yes. And so what's happened is, you guys got fried, right? And now both your hearts and your brains are scanning every possible environment that looks similar to say, hey, we know this story and it hurt us. So I'm going to keep us out of that, right?

And to Ken's point, that's not a fair representation. On the other side, if, as you say, he can't say no, he won't do boundaries, he will say yes to everything, I'm going to tell you, don't go into ministry. Because he's going to make relationships with people who love him, and then they're going to be hurt when that thing goes south. And if he can't say no, if he can't establish a, what is my work, daily job, what is my salary, what are the raise structures, what is my responsibilities when I'm off, if he can't do that, then he doesn't have the other side of the skill set of taking care of people, which is taking care of yourself. Right?

Right, which I should say that he has come. I was listening, you know, we listen to you guys every day. Our kids pretty much ask us when we're going to be on the J-Brands, so doing our day-free scream. Excellent. But he's come so, so far. Sure. It's not like we're roommates anymore.

It used to be like that. I used to tell him two years ago, I just feel like we're just living together and just kind of going in circles. So he's, I mean, when I told you that he's put in the work, we read the proximity principle this past month. I mean, we're going through books, and I want to be his cheerleader, and so he's working on setting those boundaries, if that makes sense. Absolutely. But it's still a struggle.

Here's a great way you can do it. In the smallest places. Here's a great way you can do it. When there are boundaries to be set in your home, and I'm talking about little stuff, like somebody knocks on the door, and normally you would go answer it and say, no, thank you, we're not interested.

He gets to go do that. And when he comes back, I want him to verbalize to you to be vulnerable and say, that made me uncomfortable, not listening to the whole pitch and go ahead and buying the magazines even though I didn't want them. If his mom or your mom or somebody's family or somebody's friends invite you all out and you all don't want to go, he is the guy that's not going to text. He's going to call and say, hey, thanks for the invite.

We're not going to be able to make it this time. No excuses. No, but next time, just say, we're not going to be able to make it this time no excuses no but next time it just say um we're not gonna be able to make it this time but we look forward to catching up next time then hang up and then i want him to turn and look at you and verbalize what am i feeling here and all we're trying to do is two things number one he's got to practice boundaries and if he waits till the game to take a shot then he's gonna miss the shot right so he's gonna practice you're gonna help him practice and two i want him to verbalize these feelings that he feels, that insecurity, that nervousness, his heart starts racing.

They're not going to kill him. In fact, they're normal, right? And so you're going to practice and practice and practice. And then, yeah, when he goes in to apply for a job at his next church, he's going to know, hey, I got burned on this stuff last time. I learned a great lesson. Now I know the questions to ask. And if the community's not right, the community's not right.

But practice boundaries, just like you would any other skill. Yeah, I just want to reiterate what John said that I agree. I think he does need to get help and even counseling. That's great counseling right there. But I want him to get to the bottom of why he feels he's got to say yes. Because if he feels called, he's got to do it. But John's right. Don't get back into ministry until he's got to say yes. Because if he feels called, he's got to do it. But John's right.

Don't get back into ministry until he's healthy and he can do it right. That's good. But thank you for the call. You guys are amazing. You're killing it, by the way. He's a great guy, man. I'm getting out of debt. I love it.

He's busting it right now. Oh, what a stud. And remind him that you appreciate how hard he's working. That might be a little fun thing you need to hear as well. This is The Ramsey Show. Welcome back, America. You're listening to The Ramsey Show. I'm Ken Coleman, joined by my colleague, Dr. John Deloney.

And we're thrilled to have you with us. 888-825-5225 is the phone number. 888-825-5225. Today's scripture comes from Joshua 1-9, which says, Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid. Do not be discouraged. For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

Our quote today is from the legendary Lady Rosa Parks. You must never be fearful about what you are doing when it is right. Awesome stuff there. 888-825-5225 is the number. Let's go to San Diego, California, where Evelyn joins us on the line. Evelyn, how can we help? Hey. Hi.

Thank you for taking my call. It's such a privilege to speak to you. You bet. What's going on? Hey, Ken, I've gone back to school to get my certificate in marketing. Okay. And the company that I work for now, they had an internal position in the marketing department, and I applied for it. And during my interview, the hiring manager thought I would be a good fit for another position. But when I read the job description, it doesn't really appeal to me,

and it's not really anything relevant to what I have learned for my marketing certificate. So I'm just wondering, do I, you know, put my hat in the ring again? No. Just to get my foot in the door or hoping that maybe another position would come up? I thought you were, okay, so when you say foot in the door, I thought you were already in the company. I am in the company. I'm in another department. Okay.

So you've been, so, okay. So maybe I say, yeah, I said no pretty quickly, but let me just double check myself. So you applied for one position, and then they said, well, I think I recommend you over here. And you look at it, and you go, I'm not interested in that at all. So that's why I said no. Now, then you said foot in the door. So if you mean to move over to a different department that is where you ultimately want to be, if you can pull the gig off and you're not going to be miserable six months after you take it, and you've got some patience, and it gets you in that department, I say take it.

That's the proximity principle. I wrote an entire book on that. You get in the places where the work that you want to be doing is happening. And in this situation, if you're in the marketing department in a role that is not ultimately where you want to be, but it gets you in over there, now you're connecting. You've got relationships. We're doing lunch with these people. We're seeing them every day.

You've got this community college class. You're getting that marketing skill, that certification that you want. I think it's a great move. But I'm telling you, the caveat is you can't get miserable and you can't get all impatient six months in knowing that I took this position to get in and now I'm looking for the next position. If you can do that, and I think you you can this is a maturity issue then i would say yes but if it was just to take a position uh because it was a little bit better than the one you're in and it didn't have a long-term uh tie to it then i would say no does that make sense yes that that does so should i give myself let's let's say you know i go for it, everything happens, and I get the position. Should I give myself six months and let's say I'm miserable,

apply for a position at an outside company, or just what do I do? Just mature up? What about this job? You seem to be convinced you're going to end up miserable. What about this job? You seem to be convinced you're going to end up miserable. What about this job? No, no, no. You are hedging your bets that this all just goes to crap. I'm saying that because when I look at the position, it isn't anything that, like I said,

that I learned in the certification program that I was in. You said it well. You said it well. It doesn't interest you. like I said, that I learned in the certification program that I was in, it's totally different. You said it well. It doesn't interest you, and I'm fine with that. I mean, but not every job is the dream job. It's stage six, okay, for me and my seven stages. But I think you have to listen to that. But let's go back to what you just said.

Should I look for something outside? How much longer before you get done with the certification process and then you're qualified in your mind to go after the marketing position you're looking for? Well, I have years of experience in the industry that I'm trying to become like a product manager for. Okay. So I have that experience, but I just don't have the marketing certificate, which I believe the marketing. Right.

So how much longer before you get the certificate? Oh, I'm done in September. I only have one more class to go. Fantastic. So I would be looking internally and externally. Yeah. Is this the greatest company on earth to work for? No, no. I mean, there's like plenty of fish in the sea.

Right, but I mean, are you... This is just where I am now. Right, so you're not, you don't have this deep value connection, missional connection. You know, I teach talent, passion, and mission. You don't have this big missional connection to this company, correct? Correct. Oh, I would start looking today. I'd start looking externally.

Yeah, absolutely. Okay. And again, I'm going to go back to my initial answer. I think the answer is no. I didn't know that you had all this qualification. I didn't know that you had all this experience. I would not take this position that this manager suggested to you. You don't have any interest in it.

I just don't think that it sets you up long term because you're already qualified and you've already got good experience. Start looking for the thing you want to do or the closest rung on the ladder to the thing you want to do and go do that. That's what you need to do because you're stable right now. Right. Okay, then I have one more question. All right.

So I got the email yesterday. He sent me the description. How do I write back to him and say, you know, thank you for your interest, but no thank you in a, you know, correct way without, you know, hurting any feelings? Or should I care about the feelings? Evelyn, you just gave yourself, you answered your own question. I like to call it a thank you sandwich.

Thank you for thinking of me. Thank you for recommending this to me. I've slept on it. I've considered it. And I don't think it's the right move for me right now. But I'm humbled and honored and again, grateful that you thought of me. I think I need to pass on this. However you want to say that right there. that's your thank you, humble thank you. And if you could do it in person, all the better.

Yeah, I actually like that. If it's somebody that went to bat for you to try to find you a job on his marketing team to get you in the door, and he's going to feel a little bit burned on it, man, just go see him. I love that, John. I look at this job description. Yeah, I like that, too. This is way out of it. Because I'm more of an in-person person.

Yeah. Listen, pop by the office. And now here's the deal. Evelyn, you strike me as a really, really, really nice lady. You need to expect, and John, I want you to address this. You need to expect that he's going to go, are you sure? And he pitches, which is okay. It's a nice thing.

It's his job. Hold the line. Hold the line. Right. Go back to, I'm really grateful. It's a nice thing. It's his job. Hold the line. Hold the line. Go back to, I'm really grateful. Thank you. Trust me.

I've thought about it from every angle. Thank you. But I really got to pass. Or, I went and I got rid of the rest of the candidates for you. You told me you wanted to do this. I made this happen for you. I got you in the door here. Okay, I'll try it.

So you've got to hold the line there. Hey, when Evan was first talking, Ken, here's how I hit an allergy that popped in my head. Tell me if I'm off here, because you answered no right as I was thinking it. If somebody came to me and said, hey, listen, I know you aren't happy in your current dating relationship.

I got a guy who's nothing. Y'all share no interest at all. Not attractive at all, but somebody else may see you dating this guy and they may be interested later. You should go out with him. Right? My first, I was thinking, no, if somebody presented that to me, right? No. I'm not going to do that.

Yeah. Yeah. Again, you got to trust your heart. Yeah. It's the heart check. Oh, wait a second. Am I interested in this work? Because here's what I know, folks.

And this is for people who have a clear direction on where she wants to go. She does. And so when someone has a clear direction and somebody offers you another direction, I'm fine with checking it out, but it must lead back to the destination. So I'm a fan of multiple directions. I don't preach that there's only one job or one career for people. I don't preach that. What I do preach is that there's a unique role you're supposed to fill.

But in this situation, yeah, it was instantaneous. No, and I think you're absolutely right. You can't force something because the heart will not lie. It'll pop its head back up. Your head will talk to you and tell you're absolutely right. You can't force something because the heart will not lie. And it'll pop its head back up. Your head will talk to you and tell you to do it. Eventually the heart goes, I'm still here, you idiot. And then you get into the disengagement at work, and that's a whole other show. That's right.

Hey, thanks, pal. Dr. John Deloney, my friend, my colleague. Great stuff there. I want to thank our producer, Ben Hill. I want to thank our associate producer and call screener, Kelly Daniel. And you, America, this is The Ramsey Show. Great stuff there. I want to thank our producer, Ben Hill. I want to thank our associate producer and call screener, Kelly Daniel. And you, America, this is The Ramsey Show. Have a friend or family member that needs a daily dose of Ramsey advice in their life?

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