The Ramsey Show - App - My Employee Was in an Accident...How Do I Handle the $50K Medical Bill?

Episode Date: April 25, 2022

Dave Ramsey & Dr. John Delony discuss: • What to do when an employee is hurt on a work event. • How to tackle debt in the wake of a divorce, • A side hustle-centric Debt-Free Scream. Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: https://bit.ly/3nInETX Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6  

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where dad is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. This is where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create amazing, incredible, real relationships. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, best-selling author, is my co-host today. As we answer your questions about building wealth, doing the work you love, and creating real relationships. Open phones, 888-825-5225 is the number courtney starts off this hour in baltimore hi courtney welcome to the ramsey show hi happy monday thanks for taking my call sure what's up um so i'm recently divorced um and i have about which is a great thing and have about 60k in debt

that i'm struggling to tackle i've struggled the process. I started the process of doing a cash out refinance with my home since it has a ton of equity. But since my credit score is pretty low, I'm going through a broker and not a traditional lender. So my monthly payment will be increasing and my interest rate will be higher. So I'm starting to rethink my decision. But other than selling my home

which I really don't want to do I'm not sure what other options I may have to be able to get myself back in a better financial situation how long have you been divorced um almost a year now so last August everything was finalized children Yes, one three-year-old. And what do you make a year? About $100, $101. Okay, and what's the house worth? Its recent appraisal was for $430.000. I purchased it for $150,000. You purchased it? Yes. Well, no.

I have my current mortgage. We purchased it. You bought it with your ex, right? No, I purchased my home before I was married. Oh, okay. So you got the home after. Okay. So you owe $150,000, and you owe $60,000, and you owe $60, and you make $100. Yes.

Okay. Well, I'm really glad that you gave this second thoughts, because it was a mistake to refinance this. Yeah, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it. Yeah, you were getting ready to make an error. And the reason you were getting ready to make an error was you're solving a short-term problem with a long-term solution and um and a bad one at that because you're getting a higher interest rate and a payment you can't afford and all that kind of stuff so what do you owe the

sixty thousand dollars on um credit cards okay um and when has that popped up? So they're credit cards that I have had for about five years now. You've had this debt, $60,000 for five years? So I actually opened an account within the last five years. When did you run up the debt? About five years ago. Okay, before the divorce. About five years ago. Okay. Before the divorce. So it's been, yes.

Okay. How much debt have you run up lately? None, because I don't have any additional credit to try to run up. Okay. I was just paying minimum payments with my pay. How long were you married? About two two years what do you do for a living i'm a public health researcher would you believe us if we told you that with about 18 months of grinding it you could be done maybe 24 months.

It's hard to believe, but if you think that's an option, I can. Mathematically, it's an option. Okay. Okay. Can I be mean for a second? Sure. You've got the same barrier that I've got and that John has. The thing that's going to keep you from doing it is the person in your mirror. Yeah. Not the math. You make $100,000 keep you from doing it is the person in your mirror. Yeah.

Not the math. You make $100,000 a year, you've got a reasonably low house payment, and you've treated this credit card debt like it's cute, like it was something you swept under the rug and didn't deal with it emotionally, and you're hurting after a divorce, even though you called it a good thing, it still hurts. I'm guessing that's the father of your child, and I'm guessing that it hurts. And, you know, so this is the time where you say, okay,

I'm going to be like a grown woman instead of a little girl, and I'm going to roll up my sleeves and attack this stuff as a part of my healing and as a part of my going forward in this future. I've got to get control of this part of me that was out of control. And you actually said the only reason you're not running up more debt is just because they won't let you. Right. Not because you got yourself under control.

So I think you have a beautiful life lesson to get you under control and learn to trust you to not overspend as you work your way out of this. So this tough 18 months on beans and rice, and you're not going to see the inside of a restaurant unless you're working there, working extra, selling everything in sight. We're going to be on a budget. We're going to be on a budget. We're going to tell our money what to do.

If you will do all of that, we can show you how to pay this off in 18 months. It's only $30,000 a year for two years, and you make $100,000. Okay. And you're done. And then you don't have to look and go, gosh, the only reason I didn't run up debt is because they wouldn't let me. You go, the reason I don't run up debt is it's stupid, and I'm not a person that does that anymore. I used to be that person. Courtney, one of the most common things i hear from

folks who just got divorced is um whether even when like you said it's a quote-unquote good thing is you lose that trust in yourself right i thought it was going to look like this i thought this person was going to be like this right and if you will commit to 18 months of grinding it out you're getting after it you will find yourself standing taller. Yeah, you're going to get your confidence. Find new muscles that you don't have. You will be like, yeah, dude, listen. I am a warrior princess. Leave me alone. Exactly. And you know what else is

cool? That three-year-old little girl is going to get to watch you, too. She's going to feel it in the air. Yeah, little boy. That little boy is going to watch his mama. He's going to feel it in the air. The air will change in your house while you're fighting through this. Does all that ring true to your heart right now? It does.

Okay. Definitely not what I thought you were going to say, but I think that's what I need to see here. I think you have a huge opportunity to fix you, and the byproduct is going to be the $60,000 goes away in the process. Okay. It'll evaporate. You learn to handle this stuff in a grown-up way, and you throw your shoulders back and

go, yeah, baby, game on, right? And anytime money stuff comes at you, then you're in control of it. It's not in control of you for the rest of your life. And that's how people end up becoming wealthy, by the way. We're going to take care of this for you. We're going to show you exactly what to do.'ve got a nine-week class called financial peace university i'm going to sign you up for that and remsey plus for free i'm not going to charge you a dime for it because i think you're a hero getting ready to happen and i want to be part of the story okay

great thank you so much hey you promise you'll do it i already put it on hold i'm gonna take it as yes i'm taking the answers the answer she's gonna do it? I already put it on hold. I'm going to take it as a yes. I'm going to take it as a yes. The answer is she's going to do it. Yes. And we're going to show you exactly what to do in Ramsey Plus at Financial Peace University with the EveryDollar app. All completely is our gift to you. You're ready. You're the kind of person. And I'm really glad that you didn't get that loan.

Oh, man. Because I would have screwed up. I love that line, your hero getting ready to happen. Yeah. I like it. It's good. Hold on, Kelly. He's going to pick up and get that for you Oh, man. Because that would have screwed up everything. I love that line, your hero getting ready to happen. Yeah. I like it. It's good. Hold on, Kelly. He's going to pick up and get that for you, kiddo.

This is the Ramsey Show. When you've been working your tail off to win with money and build wealth, you deserve an investing professional who cares about you and your money. That's why you need one of our SmartVestor Pros. For over 20 years, our SmartVestor Program has been scouting financial advisors who know what we teach and are committed to super-serving our listeners. Through the years, we've passed on some so-called pros that weren't worth your time or your trust. So you can have peace of mind knowing when you sign up for a SmartVestor pro, you'll get matched with investment professionals in your area who have a track record

and share your values. With pros in all 50 states, you get the opportunity to meet the SmartVestor pros in your area and choose for yourself who you want to work with. To find a SmartVestor pro, text INVEST to 33789 today. That's INVEST to 33789. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, best-selling author, is my co-host today. He will be in Dallas this Wednesday signing books at the Barnes & Noble on Beltline Road, Prestonwood Town Center. He'll be there Wednesday at 6 o'clock. Make sure you make plans to come out. There was over 100 folks showed up for the book signing the other day in Phoenix, Arizona.

Pretty incredible line, and he got to meet all of all of them hang out it's kind of fun doing those hey man it got chaotic we were laughing and people had a good time so coming out ready to have some fun yeah it was a good time you'll be talking a little bit answering questions signing books whatever we need to do the new book is own your past change your. It's only $20 at ramsaysolutions.com. You can check it out there. It's not for people healing from a traumatic experience. It's for practical steps for everyone in every walk of life. Own Your Past, Change Your Future.

Everyone needs to read this book. It'll help you get back on center and help you head out in the right direction. It's pretty incredible. John Deloney, the Ramsey Show. Hey, guys. How are you? Better than we deserve. What's up? Well, we'll dive right in here. So about a year ago or so, I bought a new building,

and we moved my business down to this building, and we basically bootstrapped the whole thing. Like, we did all the remodel on it ourselves, and we did all sorts of cool stuff and made it great. And kind of at the end of the fall, kind of early winter, um, uh, one of our vendors that we deal with had a, I don't know if you want to call it like a retreat kind of deal. So it's kind of a gift. I, uh, one of my, one of my employees who hasn't really done much, he helped a lot, but he didn't, he hasn't really like been anywhere in the, in the country. I said, Hey, um, there's a mountain bike thing down here. And, um,

if it's something that you want to do, like, I'd be happy to send you. It'd be a good learning experience. So he said, great. So he went down there and unfortunately, uh, he got into a bike bicycle accident. Um, and I get a call, you know, a day after he's down there and he's in the hospital and he broke a couple of broken bones and a few other things. Um, and initially I wasn't super concerned because I was like, this is going to be an unfortunate work, you know, workers comp thing that we're going to have to deal with and, um, we'll make it through. Well, uh, by the time

I called my insurance, the left hook to the face was when we moved our building, they quote unquote, forgot to renew our workers' comp insurance. And so then I was like, great. Well then come to find out that he also doesn't have health insurance. So now what I've done in the last, I've basically got hit with $54,000 of medical bills. I have paid personally about $36,000 of that. And I don't know. I mean, basically, was that the right call? Or what would you guys have done in that situation? There's about $18,000 left to pay.

It's tough, and I just don't know if I made the right call or not. Wow. Yeah. tough and i just don't know if if i made the right call or not wow yeah okay he was on a a recreational thing on his own or was it like a leadership that you bought and gave it to him as a gift okay yeah so so it so workers comp wouldn't have covered it anyway okay if i give my one of my team members a gift to go ride on a boat, and the boat, I don't know, he gets hurt on the boat, he's not working. He's playing. Was it a leadership retreat of some sort? No.

So we're a bike shop, and the company had like a, yeah, kind of like a, I guess it's like a retailer retreat. Yeah, but did you send the whole company down there and he got hurt, or you just gave him this as a gift? No, they allowed one employee, so I sent him as one employee. I don't think this is going to be covered in a worker's comp even if you had it, but I'm not, you know, you'd have to ask an attorney to be sure. Either way, so if I've got an employee that doesn't have health insurance and I want to help them because they were doing something that I gave them and they got hurt, so I would feel, even if I'm not legally obligated, I'd feel like I wanted to help. Yeah, I probably would have done what you've done.

The only thing I would have done differently is I would have called every one of these medical providers and and said hey this is not insurance covered it's me paying it out of pocket so uh what's the discount for cash and for the uninsured person because usually it's half right yeah so we did that and that was it was about 30 reduction okay um and then that got it down to 51 yeah this guy got tore up and then the company yeah it wasn't good yeah it was not not good luckily i mean fortunately he's you know it's not like brain related or anything like that yeah what do you make a year uh the business or me personally well the business is you personally dude yeah uh i mean i have a combined income with my wife yeah okay so what do you what's your household income so it's about 250k okay i would pay it yeah okay day so get it discounted as far as you can and pay it you

don't have a i don't think you have a legal obligation um but i would do it just to help somebody that I love and that I was trying to do something nice for and it got screwed up. Okay? We rented out an ice rink one time for a bunch of employees and we were down there skating and shooting hockey pucks and I hit one of my guys in the face. I paid for all of it.

I paid for every bit of it. It was awful. It was horrible. It was one of the worst stories ever on Dave. I didn't mean to. I shot the puck and he fell just as i shot it and hit him right in the face and so i ended up paying i ended up paying for all of his nose to get fixed and all this it was bad so but it was you know you know he fell i didn't hit him so taylor i'm gonna ask dave a question and this is for you but this is just me talking to my buddy here asking a little more wisdom and dave

this comes from me probably spending too long working with lawyers my whole career if i'm going to write somebody a check even out of like hey man i i want to help you out here would it be wise to say i'm going to cover these medical bills and then we're going to be square the two of us because i wouldn't want to have happened is 10 years from now he comes back and says you lost wages or something yeah or my hip hurts because of my knee thing and like that you're i'm doing this as a favor yeah you might want to get a release signed it just says i'm going to cover all this because i love you and you're not going to come back and get me but due to no obligation other than i just want to help yeah yeah okay

we're not admitting fault here or whatever the legal mumbo jumbo is that's probably a good point john you know but i actually didn't get that when i smashed the guy's face he was just kind and loved you he just was terrified he came by and visited the other day he works in another city now and he's a wonderful guy he's got a great nose now and so let's be honest you hit him at a direct right angle that thing chipped off so he released that, and I played hockey in college, man. I released that. It was so bloody.

It was so bad. I felt so bad. But, yeah, it was awful. I mean, that's one of many times that, I mean, we've had people, odds and ends like that, where we're technically not probably liable. Because when you're playing on an ice rink, that's not work. So I don't think workers' comp covers that. I didn't require them to be there as a part of work.

We were out there goofing off. Would the rink have some liability? No, because of me shooting a puck? No, I don't think so. I don't think so. They probably got big signs up that says something like, stupid people, beware or something. Don't stand in front of flying pucks.

Don't stand in front of Dave when he releases a shot. Oh, my God. But, yeah, I mean, there's stuff like that has happened around here, and we've just covered it. Yeah. When in doubt, you know, what our HR manual says is treat other people like you'd want to be treated. Yeah.

That's what it says, the golden rule, what Jesus said. Yeah. Treat other people like I don't want to be treated. So if I make nothing and I got no insurance and I'm an hourly worker and my boss makes $250,000 a year and he picks up my medical bills, that feels a lot like Jesus to me. Yeah. But it's not a requirement.

And you're not a sinner if you don't do it. Right. But it's just a thing of, you know, it just feels very compassionate, very big, very noble. And that's the kind of guy this guy is that just called. That's a good man right there. Yeah. He just cares.

He's just loving his people. Taylor's a good guy. There's more employers out there like that, by the way, than there are the doofuses that cut everybody's throat. Especially the small business people. They're always like that. They just take care of my people, man. So good. And that's the way most people act out here in the real world.

Now, they're not on the news, but that's why they're not on the news. This is The Ramsey Show. Thank you. Dr. John Deloney Ramsey, is my co-host today. In the lobby of Ramsey Solutions on the debt-free stage is Bridget. Hi, Bridget. How are you? Hi. How are you, Dave? Better than I deserve. Welcome. Where do you live? I live in Michigan. What part?

North Van Arbor, a town called Brayton. Oh, yeah. Very nice. Welcome to Nashville. Good to have you. And all the way here to do a debt-free scream, how much have you paid off? $111,926. Way to go.

And how long did that take? About 20 months, Dave. Good for you. And your range of income during that time? Started at about $150,000 and at the peak with a promotion and all of my side hustles got up to about 250 000 wow what do you do for a living i lead a team of analytics consultants and data scientists for a media company whoo yeah yeah fun stuff game on i don't even know what you just said i said actually i do because i pay a couple of them scary but yeah yeah way to go they a couple of them work here on the team believe it or not but

that's uh data scientists a big deal right now so uh what were the how many side hustles and what was the best one so i had three side hustles. One was delivering groceries. I think that was the best one. That was the most fun. You can set your own schedule. And I was really helping people because I started doing it during COVID. I also took on teaching data science and visualization online for University of Chicago. That had to pay better than delivering groceries.

Nope. Not really, actually. John knows. university of chicago that had to pay better than delivering groceries uh no no not really actually john knows uh yeah like instructor uh for professional development so i'm still doing that but for university that means you're pretty good at what you do exactly yep so that's the top of the top of the top that's incredible yeah so that's that's been really fun and i also teach yoga which is a big part of this story too if you make more teaching yoga than you do data scientist stuff i'm gonna die right now i'm just gonna quit no i don't i don't all right wow very cool all right so you told us when we met earlier just to say high five real quick you said you're not gonna believe my story so bring it so all of that debt was from running a business. In 2014, John, you would appreciate this,

I lost my father and went through a divorce and decided to make a really big decision and open a yoga studio, right? During a time of a lot of trauma, that's not the right time to make that kind of decision. And thankfully, I kept my data science job. And it's a hard business to run and it lost a lot of money over the years like 30 grand a year in the beginning and then i got it

down to maybe losing like 10 000 a year in the in the final year i ran it i sold it right before covid wow but all of that that debt was from running that business and trying to just move things around, right? So I had a business loan over here, and maybe I would pay it with a credit card and trying to make payroll, and it was a lot of stress, and it basically took all of my income

away from my regular job to keep that thing running. Wow. You are something else i'm so proud of you thank you wow proud of myself so you turn the key on that walk away sell it and then covet hits you got to feel like a genius i did yeah i did my timing there's a chance i sold I sold it December of 2019. Wow. Look at you. That's amazing. Very well done. Thank you. Okay, so then after all of that, we go into COVID, and you've got this debt piled up, and then what happened?

I got really scared, Dave. You know, everything kind of shut down. I had a really good job, but I sat down and listed all the debt because I think for five years I was just sort of pushing it around and not really paying attention to what the total was. And when I sat down and did that in March of 2020, I said, you know, something's got to give here. Something has to change. So that's when I went out and got the extra jobs and got on a really tight budget. And then the world shuts down. Right. Right. Scary upon scary. Right. Yep. How'd you find our crazy gang? You know,

I was, my friends were asking me that on the way over here. And I think I was just doing some Googling and found you. I just started listening to the podcast obsessively walking around in my neighborhood during COVID, walking the dogs, just listening to the stories. And there were a few stories that had almost the same exact amount of debt that I had, like almost to the dollar. And it just was so inspiring to say, if this person can do that, maybe I could do that. Right. And then I had a whiteboard in my office and I just started coloring in the bars and more and more bars.

And then I was like, wow, I can do this, actually. And then a promotion came at work and just everything kind of started to snowball, as you call it, and paying that stuff off. And I did it. And here I am. You did it. And here I am. You did it, and here I am. I love it. And all of that in under two years. I mean, just over a year and a half, you knock it out.

Pretty amazing. One of the weirdest year and a halfs in the history of the world. I mean, oh, my gosh. I went after it. You did. I did. She ain't kidding. You can see it in her eyes.

That's great. I love it. All right, what do you tell people the key to getting out of debt is a budget and also just knowing knowing where you're at financially right like for me it was that first step of sitting down and saying this is it this is all the debt time to time to pay attention to it and then set that budget so how intense with all the side hustles was the work because you go from 150 up to 250. Yeah, it was. You were working your butt off.

I was delivering groceries every night and on weekends and, you know, doing that. I just started the UChicago stuff probably about six months into the journey. And then when the world started opening back up, I started teaching yoga again. But, yeah, I was working all the time, Dave, all the journey. And then when the world started opening back up, I started teaching yoga again. But yeah, I was working all the time, dude. All the time. Have you let some of the air out of some of those side hustles now? Yes, a little bit.

I'm not delivering the groceries anymore, which every once in a while I'll go take an order and it's still fun, but it's a nice thing to be able to fall back on as well. Like if you're going to save for something, I drive a car that has 275 000 miles on it so at some point soon i'm gonna need to uh put some money towards a new car so that's that's where i'll go hey bridget yeah you're dead free and you make 150 000 you're

gonna be okay yeah you don't have to deliver groceries anymore that's what he says all the time you're gonna be okay you did it yeah you going to be all right. That's what he says all the time. You can stop doing that. You're going to be okay. You did it. You're going to be all right. You can also pay for your own stretchy classes, and you don't even have to work there anymore. It's so good. So good.

Nah, let them pay you. I'm good with that. You're going to do it anyway. And keep the University of Chicago job. I'm jealous. That's awesome. Yeah, it's fun. It's all fun.

Good for you. Proud of you. It's incredible. Very, very well done. Okay. jealous that's awesome yeah it's fun it's all fun good for you proud of you it's incredible very well done okay when you look back on this what was the moment in the middle of the 20 months where you just were terrified and didn't know if you could make it where was that one time where you went uh probably the summer of 2020 so maybe three to four months into it, at my company, we were doing pay cuts and furloughs. And I thought there was a good chance that I might not be working there anymore, not by my choice.

That was the most terrifying moment. And I ended up getting promoted a little short time after that. So it worked out well. But it was scary right in the height of COVID. Yeah. That was a really high-stress time. Yes. Really crazy.

Amazing. Amazing. Well, congratulations. We are very proud of you. Thank you. You're an amazing woman. Thank you. Very, very well done.

Very cool. All right. We've got a copy of Baby Steps Millionaires for you, how ordinary people build extraordinary wealth, how you can too. Copy of the Total Money Makeover for you to give away and stir up a ruckus with one of your buddies somewhere. Very cool stuff. You're fun, Bridget.

Thank you so, so much for making the trip all the way to Nashville to do your debt-free scream. This girl getting after it right here. I mean, she was getting it. This is great. She's amazing. $112,000 paid off in 20 months, making $150,000 to $250,000. Oh, three side hustles.

Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. Three, two, one. I'm debt-free! Yeah! Woo-hoo-hoo! Wow! And now, she's one of those stories someone else is watching.

That's right. This is The Ramsey Show. We'll be right back. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. He'll be signing books in Dallas. His new book, Own Your Past, Change Your Future, is all about understanding the stories of your past and putting them in context so that the story of your future makes sense. And it's powerful. And every one of us has something that we need to own in our past

so that we can change our future. And you have to walk this through. You have to decide it. He'll be signing these books in Dallas, Texas on Wednesday night, this Wednesday, April the 27th at 6 p.m., Prestonwood Town Center on Beltline Road. Be sure and come out. There's probably going to be 100, 200 people out there.

He'll be talking for a few minutes, answering questions, and so forth. So, John, it's been at least six to nine months since I've really pissed somebody off about COVID. So I'm way overdue. Oh, good. But I'll tread as gently as i can uh we're talking at the break and we're talking about bridget and the what was the low point for her was the summer of 2020 when her company's laying people off being furloughed she didn't know if she's going to lose her hundred plus thousand dollar a. Instead, she ends up getting a promotion, so it nets out. We've got this company with 1,200 team members.

The leadership team here is scratching and clawing, and entire segments of our revenue just evaporated, and we've got the responsibility to these 1,200 families that we promised them we were going to pay them, and the stress on our leadership team of carrying that. And my friend Craig Groeschel just did a podcast. He does a leadership podcast. I was on it a little while back.

I'm getting ready to be on another one. But he just did want to listen to this week. He talked about how people were depleted and that we need to, as we lead out of this pandemic, we need to be replenished. We need to be refilled, filled back up. Our gas tank's empty. The gears are grinding. There's no oil in the crankcase. There's no lubricant in our lives anymore.

We got nothing left. And in the middle of that, the economy goes bonkers with inflation and with job opportunities. There's labor wars. So people are fighting over you to pay you more, but they want to work you more than you've ever worked in your life in order to get that pay. And so we went from scared to death, trapped at home, sitting on zero to 220 miles an hour with no lubrication in the engine that's right and so we've got a whole bunch of people out there that are completely depleted and um they're gonna smoke it's gonna the engine's gonna smoke it's gonna blow yeah and if you if you back out and say you know our friend jaco talks about this there's been no ownership of the good or the bad you can't you have to acknowledge what happened to you negatively yeah it became politicized as to whether they were right or not to do the

quarantine right or not to do social right or not to make me clean the office of 60 000 bucks a swipe by the cdc guidelines and then they come out later and say it doesn't help at all right after i spent 250 000 cleaning the freaking office of people back at work and people still sending us hate mail and bomb threats that's right that's right in the building because we dared to be at work when you when you experience a collective trauma somebody has to stop everybody and say, whoa, whoa, whoa, before we race off and – Before we move on. Before we just start printing money and pretend this never happened, which is what we've done, right?

And Bridget talked about she went through a divorce. She had some loss. And so I'm just going to open a yoga studio, right? Because I'm just going to pretend this. And then that ends in ash. And all of us who have launched out of the last six months trying to pretend the last two years never happened and not collectively grieve what we lost. A million people. We lost. People are dead. Our friends, our family members have passed away.

We've looked back and said, we shouldn't have done it like this. Will someone just say that, please? And we should have been. All that has to happen. You have to process that together. You have to. Otherwise, you take off. You got no. I love love that you said there's no oil in the in the in the engine it'll go for another 150 miles 200 miles and you're gonna be all the people gonna be stranded

on the side of the road man and i hate it own it man stop and own what happened so that you can move forward yeah well societally we're going to get anyone to own it at leadership because we don't have any leaders. So embarrassing, man. So embarrassing. Societally, they're not going to own it. What Jocko says that a good leader should do is not going to happen. So given that that's not going to happen, each of us as individuals have got to own our part of it and go, oh, wait a minute. That did happen to me.

That did hurt. I was terrorized by my own government, by people who disagreed with me. And if you believed one thing, the other side terrorized you. It didn't matter what it was you believed, right? Because the source of truth was no longer, there was no source of truth. Anybody that claimed to be the source of truth was laughed at because they weren't the source of truth, you know, e.g. Fauci, you know. And so, you know, has become a laughing, you know,

has become the laughing stock of the whole thing. He was like the head of the circus, you know has become the laughingstock right of the whole thing he's like the he was like the head of the circus yeah you know and so but nobody's coming back and going look he was just wrong yeah it two million people he never slated he never came up and said hey last three months i said this i was inaccurate we got new data it's time to do this now that never happened never once and if if if i could pass along one piece of information after working with hurting people for so many years and you too if you're in leadership and you head down a road and you realize this isn't the right road just stop and

turn back to tell the folks keep your we're on the wrong road keep your reverse gear in good working order that's such a gift to everybody and it's not a matter of of weakness or failure it's a matter of strength right just to say hey we got new data and it's time to do this now and i had said this let's do but all of us i think you're right we can talk about that all day what i have to do is look in the mirror me and my wife have had to have some acknowledgement we're not going to fix those goobers okay but what you and i do need to address for the listener right this second is that um you can't go on as if nothing happened that's right because it did denial is not a river in egypt that's right it's a real thing and so you have

got to uh say this happened i i faced stuff i have never faced before. I've felt things I've never felt before. I may have even done things I've never done before. And I'm not going to go back to the way it was until I put some gas back in my tank. And then it will never really be back the way it was. I've got to build something new. That's right. I'm going to lead not as if nothing happened. I'm going to lead out of this.

I'm going to lead my life. And you are in control of leading your life if you're listening to us right now. So lead your own life. You know, leading your life is you are the leader. And so you have to use critical thinking skills. You have to say, emotionally, this hurt. Physically, I was scared for my life um there was you know trauma with that and the real world is that that really happened now is it debilitating for the

rest of your life does it have to become the defining thing for your life absolutely not it shouldn't be but if you pretend like it didn't happen you're going to turn to ash that everything around you will turn to ash that's right one of One of the most common questions I get is, where do I start? And I would say 95% of the time, there's a relationship or two that was significant to you that went away over the last couple of years. Either they said something, you said something, you felt the way, they felt the way. And that's where I would start. I would look over the course of the relationships that I burned or lost or got frustrated with over the last couple of years and say, is there some people in there I need to call and say, dude, 30 years isn't worth this over the last two years.

Is there a conversation I need to have with my spouse and say, hey, man, we got sideways over the last two years, and I just put some stuff in the drawer. We need to just have a chit-chat. But are there relationships that I can begin to heal? And maybe there aren't. Maybe I need to then replace those that are gone. Yeah, or it might just be you say, okay, I don't respect that person. That's right. So we've moved on,

but I've got to replace those with other people in my life. Right. Yeah, this person, I saw new colors and I saw things about them that I don't want to be around. That's right. But I can't use that as an excuse to do life by myself anymore. Right. I got to go find new people. That doesn't give you excuse to not deal with you. That's right.

The book is Own Your Past, Change Your Future. It will do that if you get a copy of it and read it. I promise you. And you've got to put some gas back in your tank, folks. You've got to replenish. Because if you're walking around in the human race right now, the last two years has depleted you. And so you must fill that back up in order to function at full game-on capacity.

This is the Ramsey Show. Dave here. You can find all of our shows with the Ramsey Network app on your smartphone. It's the only place to listen to the entire back catalog of episodes download the Ramsey Network app in your favorite app store today