The Ramsey Show - App - My Employer Is Interviewing People for My Job! (Hour 2)

Episode Date: April 27, 2021

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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host, Ken Coleman, Ramsey personality, and host of the Ken Coleman Show is my co-host today. The Ken Coleman Show talks all about finding your purpose, all about your career, getting a job, the income side of the income outgo equation that I deal with every day. And Ken's here to help you with that as well as we will talk about your life and your money, whatever's going on.

Open phones at 888-825-5225. Alexandria is starting this hour in Atlanta. Hi, Alexandria. and your money, whatever's going on. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Alexandria is starting this hour in Atlanta. Hi, Alexandria. How are you? Hey, Dave. Hey, Ken. How's it going?

Great. What's up? So I'm a 30-year-old nurse practitioner here in the Atlanta, Georgia area. I spoke with you actually last year in March, and I followed your plan. I was able to eliminate 260 000 in eight months in debt oh wait a minute whole full stop way to go and so you like took covid nursing and made it like a thing huh absolutely ding ding what did you make in make in this last year? I owed $15,000 in taxes. So probably I almost hit almost $500,000 last year. Whoa.

So how many hours a week were you working? So I worked seven days a week. I worked three different jobs. When COVID hit, I went over to New York and Texas, and I was making $10,000 a week, up to $13,000 a week doing that. And I just became intentional because student loans were not debt-free, but they were interest-free. And I was just making sure I was not getting out. I made a challenge to my family that I would eliminate those student loans by the end of December.

And on December 31st, I went live on my social media showing everyone that I had paid off my student loans. Freaking superwoman yes wonder woman something i don't know that's amazing i mean you didn't run hide from covid you went running into the fire and he told me i was being wimpy last year so i had a point to prove i called you out and you went and did that? I'm loving my advice right now. That's so cool. Coach put me in the game. I like it.

Wow, you are amazing, girl. I'm so proud of you. Congratulations. And Alexandria, you're not wimpy. You have to feel, one lady said the other day, she said she felt accomplished. You have to feel accomplished. I feel very accomplished. I sat down with my financial

advisor yesterday and he said wow you're you're really prepared and i was like you know i followed the dave ramsey plan and thank you i feel really good for you to say that to me that's very nice well i'm so proud of you okay so uh now on to the next steps huh correct so i have a six month fully funded emergency fund um i maxed out on my 401k contributions. I maxed out at the 15%. So what I did was I created an additional IRA for after-tax contributions. But now I still have a good amount of money left over from my salary monthly. And I just wanted to know what are some additional ways that I could invest. I wanted to become invested in real estate, but I wanted to

do it by cash flowing. I don't want to go back into debt. So I wanted to know what are some other ways that I could use my money to work for me until I can actually fully fund and cash flow real estate. Wow, that's amazing. So your home is paid off now? So I sold my home, and I used some of that money to fund my emergency account because I took a job in Chicago. So I'm back and forth between Atlanta and Chicago. So I don't know if I want to buy a home yet because I won't be in there for five years, so it wouldn't make sense for me to buy a house, and I'm not there for five years. So that kind of leaves me where I am now, and I've already saved up a down payment.

How many hours are you working now? I'm 40 hours a week. Okay. All right. Wow. Well, I'm glad you're back to a reasonable rhythm now that you had that year of craziness. Wow. I am.

Yeah. So here's what I do. I'm trying to figure out how to apply it to your situation. When I max out everything, of course, I'm in baby step seven, which you are right now because you don't own a home so um uh you know max out all retirement that's available which is what you've done and then i drop money into just an s&p 500 fund an index fund okay um low to no commissions and very stable it's going to do exactly what the market does. It is the Standard & Poor's 500 Dow Jones Industrial Average. These are the measures of what the stock market's doing.

And so it's going to follow the market. And that's what I do. I park it there until there's enough in that account to buy the piece of real estate that I'm wanting to buy. Okay. And I pay cash for it out of that. And so it's going to be more volatile, obviously, than a CD or something like that. But it's also it's gonna be more volatile obviously than a a cd or something like that but it's also going to make about 10 times more if it sits in there a year or more too the

increases in value are taxed at the capital gains rate which in your case is 15 percent and instead of your ordinary income rate which is probably. And so you get less taxes on it if it sits in there a year on the growth portion. And you don't have any taxes on it hardly because it's got a low turnover ratio until you pull it out. And so if it sits there three or four years, it's not going to create taxes for you. And so I wouldn't tell you not to start buying real estate until you've decided which city, just like you don't want to buy a house until you decide which city. So let's figure that out.

So this is just a good place to park a pile of money to buy your next house with cash and then maybe buy your first rental or two once you've decided which city you're going to settle into. But you are a beast, girl. You're amazing. Absolutely incredible. Yeah. Again, just, you know, she takes that statement that she made to her parents, you know, her family, and she hit it. I mean, that is, there's gazelle intense, and that's like super gazelle.

Yeah, well, I mean, I call her Wimpy, and she's like, I'm going to show you, old man. Which I love a good, yeah, you're right. She put the old chip on her shoulder, right? Yeah, wimpy this. Yeah, it's the truth. It's like Tom Brady, you know, six-round draft pick. He's like, I'll show all you teams. I mean, that is awesome.

She's amazing. What a great story. Seven days a week, three jobs. That encourages me to call more people wimpy, I'm just saying. Who among us doesn't need a nice little chip, right? Some people don't like the chip on the shoulder. I think a lot of great men and women have done things with chips on their shoulder. I mean, $500,000 as a nurse. Yeah.

In one year. Oh, unbelievable. Three jobs. I mean, she went to Texas. She went where the work was. She ran into the fire. That's year? Yeah. Oh, unbelievable. Three jobs. I mean, she went to Texas. She went where the work was. She ran into the fire. That's what I like. She went where the money was, the work was, and worked like crazy.

Wow. Yeah. Extraordinary story. And paid off $200,000 worth of debt. But, you know, isn't it interesting how we both live, someone listening to this who was a nurse and never left their home for 12, 14 months, and their home's getting foreclosed on because they lost their job at the hospital because they're not doing any elective surgeries. Same exact industry, same exact economy, same exact pandemic, and one goes and makes a half million dollars, and another one loses their home. It's just, that's just, human nature is amazing.

It really is. You know, you and Rachel Cruz and I, we did this big event, Message of Hope, and the big message from all three of us was control the controllables. Let me tell you something. Alexandria said, I can control this. She went after it. Man. Wow.

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or even a criminal record. It's devastating, but it can be fixed when you have an ID theft protection plan from Zander Insurance. They monitor all personal info for the entire family, and they take over all the work if you become a victim. Best of all, your kids are covered for free on their family plan. Call them at 800-356-4282 or visit Zander.com. It's just the smarter, more affordable way to protect your entire family. And it's the only plan I provide to my team. Zander.com or 800-356-4282. Ken Coleman, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host. I can't get over that last caller making a half million dollars as a nurse during COVID. Yeah, I mean, all I can think of is that some people will always find a way to succeed and some people will always find a way to fail. You know, I mean, people are going to look back.

Can you imagine like 30 years from now, okay? You look back on 9-1-1, okay? Or you look back on, you know, when your grandparents look back on pearl harbor or we look back on 2020 with the pandemic and you say and and grandma's sitting there and she goes best year of my life yeah yeah it's it's extraordinary because you hear somebody make excuses about how the pandemic ruined their life from lack of opportunity. Okay. And then you hear Alexandria's story and you go, huh?

Why don't you talk to her? Yeah. Talk to the guy in the plexiglass business. He did well. Oh, good point. Nicole's with us in Augusta, Maine. Hey, Nicole, how are you? Hi, I'm good.

Thank you so much for taking my call. Sure. What's up? So me and my husband are on baby steps three, I believe. So we're debt-free besides the house, and we're working towards our emergency fund. We have $8,000 in place right now. Great. And after that, thank you.

And after that, we want to buy a car. Good. And he got a situation to me, and I've heard you talk about it on the show to stay away from it. So kind of just wanted you to help me walk through the situation. He said that we would like to save up to lease a car. So instead of paying monthly, you can just put it all down in the beginning for the three years. Um, so he was looking at a 2021 Ram, um, with three 80 a month. So he was looking at a 2021 Ram with $380 a month, so that'd be like $13,000, paying that up front. And then the buyout would be $23,000. And in that three years of having it, saving up that $23,000 to pay it off. And I just wasn't sure how to go about that. I've heard you talk

about leasing cars as the most expensive way to drive a car. It is. So I just wanted your advice. It is. And the most expensive car ever is a brand new one. The worst car accidents happen on the showroom floor. So when he drives that beautiful, fabulous pickup off the showroom floor, he's going to lose $10,000 that day.

That's what I was thinking because his argument was that... His argument is he wants a truck, and he's willing to overlook any amount of mathematics in order to buy a truck. He thinks that he'll be actually getting it for less because it'd be $23,000. Well, that's because he's not good at math. So let me help you with this if you take thirteen thousand dollars over to hertz and prepay your rental payment they'll let you drive a hertz car for a long time too and if you add up thirteen thousand dollars and twenty four thousand dollars and you figure out

what you're actually paying for this dodge Ram when it's all said and done, it is more than you would have paid for it had you walked in there and laid Benjamins on the table. Because it wouldn't be until three years later that it would be completely paid off. I know. Listen, let me ask you something. Do you really think that Chrysler is stupid? No, and that's why I was calling you, because I was like, there's got to be a mistake. Your husband has not found the one time that Chrysler made a mistake.

Right. Like, they've got to be making money on this somehow. Yeah, I think. It's not like he found a loophole. Yeah, he didn't find a loophole. When you add it up, the actual cost on a lease averages 14% cost of capital. It's like borrowing money at 14% interest and the value of this car. Plus, this car is going to go down in value rapidly because he's buying a brand new car and you all aren't millionaires.

No, we're not. So you should not be buying a brand new car and taking that kind of a hit and loss in value until you're millionaires. You can't afford to lose this much. So boy's got truck fever. He needs cold showers when he needs. Yeah, and so my other question, when we do go to buy a car, I know you say don't, you know, spend it on or buy it that's more than 50% of your. All your cars added together.

Oh, all your cars added together. Okay, that's good to know. I didn't know that. And would it be annual income of both of us? Yeah, your household income. What's your household income, the two of you added together? Well, right now I'm going to full-time school, so my income is very, like, hit or miss, and his is $70,000.

And he is getting a pay raise in September, but only, like, $500 a month. Okay, so he makes $70,000. And he is getting a pay raise in September, but only like $500 a month. Okay. So he makes $76,000. So you don't want all of your cars to be worth more than about $35,000, $40,000. And the only reason is that I love cars. I'm not against you having a decent car. I'm against the car owning you. If you've got $80,000 worth of cars and you make $80 eighty thousand dollars a year you have so much tied up in things that are going

backward that you can't build wealth definitely yeah i was definitely hesitant on the situation but didn't really know how to work it out to me you know to kind of say okay this is a bad idea um oh it's definitely a bad idea so you start with the premise that chrysler's not stupid and they're not going to lose money if you haven't figured out how they're making money that doesn't mean they're not it just means you haven't figured it out that's all it means because listen if you turn that car back in that car has to sell for more than $24,000. At the time you turn it back in, they're going to lose money. They don't lose money. Yeah.

They've got thousands and thousands of Dodge Rams on the road, and they have lots of statistical evidence of exactly what that puppy's going to be worth at the end of this lease. A closed-end lease, the residual value, the buyout at the end of the lease is a statistical analysis. It's an actuarial table. These guys do not screw these things up. If they do, they lose millions and millions and millions of dollars because it didn't just happen on your car. It happened on all of them like your car. Yes.

So is the buyout calculated to what they estimate it to be in the three years no the buyout is what they estimate it to be uh more than slightly more than the car is worth oh okay at the time at that time they're estimating if you got a 24 000 buyout at the end of the lease they're estimating that car is going to be worth somewhat less than 24 000,000. Okay, yeah, that's what I was kind of thinking. I think another person's argument in the situation that we're talking about was that somebody just bought, like, a 2018, like, Chevy for $35,000, $40,000, and it was 2015, so they were like, trucks really hold their value. Oh, bull crap.

You are listening to a whole lot of broke people with truck fever listen i drove a raptor i didn't drive it today i got a raptor in the garage i drove it yesterday i like big trucks i i like them you know i don't own a single car with a horsepower less than 400 horsepower so um i like cars i like stuff that goes with zoom zoom but they all go down in value that you're getting screwed on all of them financially when you buy them. They all suck. This idea that they hold their value. Just visit one that's three or four years old and then laugh about that stupid butt statement.

That's just ridiculous. Hold their value. Buy their fingernails for 20 seconds maybe. Yeah, I mean, look. hold their value by their fingernails for 20 seconds maybe yeah i mean look people i've heard this before i've heard people hit you with these scenarios before it's like they think they've got it figured out well i mean actually when i first got on the radio and there's a guy's a christian guy in another part of town that called up and he was all offended because he owned one of the car dealerships and i was telling people leasing cars rip off and they're ripping people off he goes well i'm a christian i'm not ripping people off and i go yeah

you are and he wanted to he wanted to come and sit down and talk to me and after two hours of going through the math with him i said show me one time where you're not making more money leasing the car than you are selling the car show me one time and i'll shut up and he couldn't find a single one well as christians we ought to agree and i'm like up and he couldn't find a single one well as christians we ought to agree and i'm like well christians i'll be able to do math bubba you know this is a thing you know it's not it's not a christian thing i mean jesus doesn't hate you for leasing a car that's not the point um i mean i mean he probably yeah yeah bad bad dad jokes are running through my mind about being all in one accord.

But anyway, yeah, so, yeah, you just, but yeah, it's just dumb. It's just dumb. Don't do it. Listen, if you look around and you don't see millionaires doing it, then that gives you a hint. And if broke people are giving you all your advice about trucks holding their value, then that's another hint. Chrysler's not losing money. That's another hint. Lots of hints here.

This is the Ramsey Solutions on the debt-free stage, Chris and Jeanette are with us. Hey, guys. Hey, Dave. How are you? Better than I deserve. Welcome to Nashville. Thank you. Love the t-shirt.

Be weird. Debt. Hashtag debt-free. Like it. How much did you guys pay off? We paid off $21,300. Love it. How long did this take?

About nine months. Good for you. And your range of income during that time? About $21,300. Love it. How long did this take? About nine months. Good for you. And your range of income during that time? About $62,000. Good for you. What do y'all do for a living? I'm in retail management and my wife stays at home with the boys and she works at our local church. And children's ministry. Awesome. Very good. Good for you guys. What kind of debt was the $21,000? Everything but student loans, loans i think basically uh 401k loan credit cards personal loan dumb spending yep so you kind of had you're like normal yeah you kind of been bopping along and look up nine how long y'all been married 18 years 18 years yeah just go with it 18 years i've never seen that before.

We both have it dialed in, I'm telling you. Well, we've been together since high school, so we've been together for a while. Good for you. Okay, so what in the world happened nine months ago that made you decide we're getting out of debt? Oh, gosh. So we have to go back a little bit. So about 12 years ago, we were young and dumb, and we went to go see a bankruptcy attorney because we were $10,000 in debt.

And the bankruptcy attorney looked at us and said, you guys are not broke. She's like, I'm going to give you a gift. And she gave us your book. Wow. Yes. She gave us your book. What an unusual bankruptcy attorney. Isn't that crazy?

Most of them will file bankruptcy on $600, man. And she didn't even cash the check that we paid her. Wow. Yeah. So I wish I could tell you that we were like, all right, we're going to do that. But we didn't. You took the book home. We took the book home.

Used it as a coaster on the coffee table. Yeah. And then early 2020, you came out to our church, Real Life, in Claremont, Florida. And you were there, and right after that, we were like, that's it, we're done, we're going to do this. So, yeah.

Well, it was worth the trip. It was definitely worth the trip. I got one. It was worth the trip. Absolutely. Awesomeness. Now, Real Life, that's a great place. Yes. You got many. That. Awesomeness. Now, real life's a great, that's a great place. Yes.

You got many. Wonderful folks. Yes. That's wonderful. Wonderful people. And so you come home from that and you're going, okay,

God just got in our face. We got to do this. Dave just talked at the church. Yep. Yep. And we were like, all right,

we're going to do it. Where's that stupid book? Let's get the dust off of that thing and let's get going. We actually did the FPU. Yeah. So we did FPU right after that.

And yeah, just hit the ground running. Wow. Very cool. Congratulations. We are so done. How much did the community, when you got into FPU, because you had heard the message from Dave and he gives it, right? Like no one can give it. You got it.

Yes. Then you jump in. How did that community of accountability really strengthen you guys or maybe fire you up even more? What did it do for you? I mean, it did. It totally did.

I felt like I was kind of always there. It was him. So I thank you, Dave. You got to him for sure. He has listened hours and hours of just your podcast and just read your book and just he's really dived deep in and so wow yep i think yeah and we almost didn't make it to the uh to to your um to your presentation at church my wife was like no let's go and i was just kind of she so

she kind of dragged me in and man i think sometimes I think sometimes if I had never gone, you know, we might be even more in debt. Wow. Yeah. It was just awesome. It was awesome. Wow. So, yeah. You know, I, wow, that's amazing.

I'm just so proud of you guys. It fired us up. Yeah, well, well done. I even got a second job and everything, so. I just got an email from your pastor like two weeks ago. Oh, really? Just checking in. Yeah, he's such a great guy.

He is. He's awesome. He's awesome. So, really? Just checking in. Yeah, he's such a great guy. He is. He's awesome. So, well done, you guys. So fun. Okay, now you've been through Financial Peace University. Yes. You paid off $21,000 in debt. Yes.

You're living on less than you make, something Congress can't do. And what do you tell people the secret to getting out of debt is? You're professionals. You've done it. Yeah. You said something that really resonated with me when you came down, and you said, God gives us the dignity to choose. And you said, just decide that you're going to do it. And that just stuck with me.

So when we got back home, we were like, all right, we can keep doing what we're doing or we can try something new. And we just decided. And we were on the same page. I would say the practical things for us was getting on a budget. We had done budgets before. We just never stuck to them. And so now every month we have a budget meeting before the month starts. And we sit down and we look at the month expenses.

And the first couple months it was a flop because we were, you know, but it got easier and easier. Yeah, you're not pros at it the first little while. Yeah, exactly. Takes a little while to get it dialed in. Yep. Good for you. But it can be done. What was the toughest part for y'all?

I got one. The toughest part for me was the Saturday nights we started Ubering. uh started oh my second job ubering uber delivering food yeah during covid my hours got cut in half and i was like oh no we gotta figure something out so i started ubering um food delivery and so we just yeah the hardest part was uh driving around on a saturday night and watching everyone have dinner and we're picking up deliveries. And we kind of, I was like, man, I would love to just pull over and go grab a bite to eat.

But we stayed focused, you know, and we made our car trip into a date night where we kind of just, you know, we packed the car with some snacks and we hit the road. And, you know, that was our sidekick. You were like delivering temptation to every door. I mean, it was...

It really is. Oh, that's harsh. It's like delivering pizzas when you can't have any. Oh, my gosh. It's horrible. What point in the nine months was this moment that you just described? This was, like, really early on. This was probably March, like, right when COVID hit.

Right in COVID. Yeah. Yeah. March or. Quarantine city, yeah. Was there a point in the nine months where you finally experienced momentum? You went, okay, I feel like now... Okay, what was it?

Yeah, for me, it was probably like... I think when we hit the halfway mark, we were like, okay, we can do this. And so we started sacrificing. When you start seeing those numbers just keep going down. I sold one of my cars, Dave. Oh! I was like, we got to get... We can go this. And so we started sacrificing. When you start seeing those numbers just keep going down. I sold one of my cars, Dave. Oh!

I was like, we got to get, we can go another couple months or I could just sell the car today and we'll be done. And so that's what I did. Yeah. Knocked it out. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely.

Now save up and get another one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. So you brought the kiddos with you. What are their names and ages? Bring them into the show.

Yes. Jacob and Jaden. Jaden is here, four years old. Mm-hmm. And Jacob is my big guy. He's ten. Ten. Alright. Very cool. Now, who were your biggest cheerleaders? Gosh, our church family was awesome.

Our mother-in-law, my mother-in-law, she's right off camera. She did wonderful things. She babysat the kids while we went out. And she was just cheering us on every single step of the way. Yeah. That's huge. That family in there with you and your church family. Yes. Your church family as well.

Yes. Well done. All right. Chris and Jeanette, Jacob and Jayden from Orlando, Florida. $21,000 paid off in nine months, making $62,000 a year. We got a copy of the Legacy Journey for you, which is the next step in your journey as you move forward i'm also going to give you an extra copy of total money makeover so you can pay it forward and give it to somebody else and give them that book that 12 years later they will read that's so perfect count it down guys let's hear a debt-free scream all right three two one All right. Three, two, one. We're debt free!

Wow! Woo-hoo! You know, you and I log a lot of airline miles, or we did before. Yes. And we will again. Yes. Every year, going to a lot of places and speaking to a lot of people and um i speak to usually in a typical year uh not last year but a typical year 10 to 12 churches uh as they're launching a church-wide financial peace university initiative and that's what was happening there in

orlando when i went down and you know i don't always get to hear that no that it was worth the trip yes but that that made it worth the trip. Always does. That's why everybody longs to work. And that's our work here at Ramsey Solutions is to give practical hope to people that you can get where you want to go. And that right there, that's real legacy. I love the book, The Legacy Journey is going to them because now they can create a legacy that they couldn't have before because of financial freedom, because of financial peace. This is the Ramsey Show. We'll be right back. Ken Coleman, Ramsey Personalities, my co-host today.

Our question of the day comes from Blinds.com. They have a 100% satisfaction guarantee. It means even if you mismeasure or you pick the wrong color, they'll remake your window blinds for free. Free samples, free shipping, and the new promos they run all the time, you save even more. Use the promo code RAMSY. It's magic. It'll get you the best deal.

Today's question comes from Karen in Alabama. She asked, my employer is secretly interviewing for my position to hire someone else in at a lower salary. Should I stay until I get let go or start looking for a new job now karen start looking now if this i mean we have to assume this is true this is not good this is horrible leadership i i i'm not laughing because i feel it this is so bad that an employer would do this. And I don't know. And they're not even good at it. No.

She found out. Right. Yeah. It's time to look elsewhere. You need to look at your employer and say, you're fired. That's exactly right. How about I fire you? Yeah, I'm going to secretly leave right now.

Oh, wow. Yeah, you need to go get a job yesterday kiddo goodness gracious out of that place as fast as you can run don't walk oh heather is with us heather is in raleigh north carolina hey heather what's up hey oh my gosh thank you gentlemen for taking my call it's such an honor to speak to both of you today. You too. How can we help? So I have actually, instead of gone backwards in pay, I was able to double my income in this past year. Wow. And finally, you know, make the six-figure mark, which I had a lifelong goal of hitting before I hit 35, and finally hit that at 36.

Good for you. Yes. What do you do Good for you. Yes. What do you do? Thank you so much. I am a medical scientist for clinical research. Good for you. I look at clinical trial data. That's wonderful.

Thank you so much. But with that comes some challenges that I'm trying to face, and I'm hoping to get some advice. So I'm married. We've been married for about nine years. We have two small kids. And my husband still wants to keep everything separate. And I'm trying to get us, you know, out of debt. I currently have a nice, you know, student loan chunk of $92,000 and some personal stuff that I'm trying to get rid of. But he just doesn't want to get on board and instead wants to keep it separate. So I have absolutely no idea what's going on on his end of things.

So I'm wondering, can I do this baby step number two by myself now that I have my bigger shovel? Or, you know, how can I get my husband on board? Because now that I make essentially double what he does, he's having a hard time with it. So I don't know how to handle it. Why am I not shocked? What does he do for a living? He's military.

Okay. All right. Yeah. What does he do in the military? He is active duty, so, yeah. Yeah, he's active duty in the Army. Okay. All right.

Just infantry, is that what you're saying, or he doesn't have a specialty inside the military? No, he's special forces. Okay. All right, good. Yeah. Yeah, so he does a lot of stressful high intense stuff and yeah yeah um but yeah this is a marriage problem this is a marriage problem it's a marriage problem it's not a

financial problem and um uh and uh the chances of this guy that you described to me going to a marriage counselor is probably fairly low. But that's what you guys need. You need someone to help you navigate. Your pastor at your church could serve the purpose if he or she's got some counseling chops, but to sit down with someone to help you guys navigate through all the different variables that are happening in your relationship, you making more, his incredible intense job, what it is that's causing him to want to keep the money separate. Why does it need to be separate?

What's he afraid of? So I've made some you know bad money decisions which racked up some debt but i'm working through that you know i just paid off my car two years early uh this weekend how long ago did you make bad money decisions um so um let's see i guess since we've been kind of in dating I'm a big impulse spender. How long ago was your last bad money decision? Over a year. Over a year ago, yeah.

Okay. So maybe part of you all combining this is for you to be accountable. Yeah, which I'm totally fine with. That's kind of why I want him on board i'm like i want to be held accountable i wanted to say hey do you really need that trip to target you know $200 toothpaste well we have a budget that we have agreed to before our month begins and it would include target only to a certain amount and anything past that you would be breaking your contract with him yeah which, which I'm fine doing.

Yeah. Is he very conservative with his money? Does he have any debt? He does have some debt. He just bought a new truck last year, and I know he's got a credit card. But he's been a lot better with money. He had a bunch better money school than I did growing up. But, I i mean other than

those two things that i know about i don't know about the other stuff all right you know i see stuff come in and let me tell you here's the day the data points are this okay um that got guys and gals that do what he does uh They face death in the eye fairly regularly. And so they have a tendency to detach. It's a normal defense mechanism. And it's very, very tough to be the spouse of special forces. Until they really get their arms around all the emotions that they feel and plug those into your relationship.

It's a very tough thing. We do a lot of work with special forces. I think these are some of the best people on the planet. They're incredible, but they do things and see things that none of the rest of us can do or ever see. And so it just is a different world. But that doesn't change the data. The data tells us that couples who do not work together on money have a higher problem rate in their marriage and a higher divorce rate

and have a lower chance of actually building wealth. The do it separately and be roommates thing almost never works relationally or financially. And so he's barking up the wrong tree. It's not going to work. It's bad tactics for the mission would be the phrase I would use to him. Okay? The tactics that he has laid out for this particular mission suck.

The mission's going to fail. And the mission is life and marriage and wealth building. And the tactic that he's using is a defense mechanism. It is not an offensive proper tactic. That's how I would talk to him. And you can play this back for him if you want to. I don't care. Because I love the guy.

I love what he does. I love that i'm free because of men like him and so yes am i yeah absolutely yeah i'm you know i appreciate him but i don't appreciate the way he's treating his wife and i uh and you got it your your part in this is you're going to have to stop the stupid stuff and you're going to step into the accountability and use your newfound income, and if you can get him to the table, your newfound cooperation to really make some serious strides forward. So we're going to help. We're going to salute you in your new promotion, and we're going to salute him because we appreciate what he does for this country,

and we're going to give you ramsey plus for a year which puts the two of you into financial peace university together every dollar budgeting app together and uh if you guys will watch those videos together and start i think it will cause him to come to the table possibly and start doing these things together i'm challenging him to do that um you know i need him to man up here as as and walk with his wife not just throw her in the ditch and hope she makes it you know you did something stupid like for a while and i don't trust you so you just wallow over there in the ditch by yourself good luck with that you know that's just not that's not manning up and so um you know walk with your wife, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health.

Untie thee, all my worldly goods I pledge. Those are the old-fashioned marriage vows. Hold on, Kelly's going to pick up. We're going to get you signed up to go through Ramsey Plus together. But I also recommend you sit down and see a marriage counselor while you're doing that, too. This is The Ramsey Show. This is James Childs, a producer of The Ramsey Show. You can listen to all our shows with the Ramsey Network app on your smartphone.

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