The Ramsey Show - App - My Ex-Husband Will Only Remarry Me if I Buy Him a Car (Hour 2)

Episode Date: June 10, 2020

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🎵 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is done, cash is king, and the paid off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. You jump in. We'll talk about your life and your money. My co-host here on the show today, Rachel Cruz, Ramsey personality, number one best-selling author multiple times,

and we're here to answer your questions about life and money. The phone number, 888-825-5225. 888-825-5225. Lee starts off this hour in Rhode Island. Hey, Lee, how are you? Hi, Dave. Oh, my gosh. I told myself I'm a fangirl, but I'm fangirling a little.

Hey, I'm having trouble hearing you. Can you speak directly into your phone, please? Hello? Yes, ma'am. Okay, try again. What did you say? Okay. I said I said I wasn't a fangirl, but I'm fangirling right now.

Oh, well, we're honored. Thank you. How can we help? Okay, so I still have a very unique situation. Last year, I actually got divorced, but I recently moved back in with my ex-husband, and we're doing really well, pretty much. He's treating everything like nothing ever happened. We got married under Godband and we're doing really well pretty much he's treating everything like nothing ever happened we got married under God so we're still married and I'm like well maybe we should like get legally married again so that way we can put like finances together but he's like no I like it the way it is because you know we split the finances everything and they'll only marry me if i buy a fifty thousand dollar car are you kidding no so you you are attracted to someone that would

not marry you unless you bought them a fifty thousand. Well, because she says that if I really want him, because after the whole divorce thing, that this would, like, prove that I'm, like, committed or whatever. I'm not sure. Oh, I see. How old are you? I'm 28. Okay. Lee, this

guy's terrible. Why did you get divorced two years ago when you guys got divorced? What was the reason for that? Was it you or him? Me. Why? Infidelity.

Infidelity. Yeah. And the reason he doesn't want to get legally married to you again he's saying is because of the money and i'm gonna bet probably something else so lee i think that your instincts first off were right i'm telling you if my husband if we are ever if we were in our serious relationship about to be married and he said in order to marry me you're gonna have to buy me a fifty thousand dollar car

i would say well enjoy the fifty thousand dollar car because i'm leaving me, you're going to have to buy me a $50,000 car. I would say, well, enjoy the $50,000 car because I'm leaving and you're not going to be getting that. Like, like that's Lee. Like that's, that's, there's, there's a lot of dysfunction there. Do you know that? Do you understand that? Oh yeah. I told him I go, I don't know why you need a $50,000 car. Cause he's been on this. Why does he need a $5,000 car for you to marry him? Like the $50,000 isn't the point, though. It's like there's an asset there that he's asking for. Like, do you get that part? Yeah.

He says that it has to be $50,000 because he's worth $50,000. And I put him through a lot of stress and everything. So I'm like, I don't have that money. So sorry. Okay, let me stop you. Okay, kiddo, here's the thing. You need to go see a good pastor and a good marriage counselor and start to get some help, okay?

Due to the infidelity, you running around on him, you got divorced, and you feel really guilty for that, and now he's using that to manipulate you and so you guys are a serious pair of mess here there's no way that this is going to end in a positive situation without a lot of help and you've got it he's got to understand what forgiveness is you have to understand how to accept that forgiveness if he were to give it. And forgive yourself for the mistakes you made in the past. And start with a clean slate and on equal footing and move forward. But there's no possible way you put up a dowry to marry this guy.

That's just asinine. That's just ridiculous. And if you were my daughter, this is what I would tell you. I would say, honey, pick up your stuff and go get you an apartment today. Go see a marriage counselor. And if you guys go through some in-depth marriage counseling together and can work through a healing of your relationship, maybe you talk about getting remarried after that,

but it certainly won't involve you giving him anything of value in return for your guilt or your regret or to prove your love or any other BS. Now, let me tell you what I think. I think you're not going to do any of that because you're a mess, girl. And so I wish you would. I love you, and I want you to have good things in your life. And I, you know, very few people in your life. And I, um, you know, very few people in your life are telling you the truth. They don't care enough about you to tell you the truth. And I'm telling you the truth. You need to get out of there today. This is a twisted sister mess and it's not going to end in a 50 year marriage with you two sitting on the front porch

with grandkids around your feet. It's not going to end that way. You don't have a basis for that. You don't have a foundation for that. Now, could it end up there if you go through the steps I'm telling you to go through? It's possible, but it's not likely because I think he's lacking in character. And like Rachel said, this is a guy you need to run from. But if you don't run from him and you want to move out and seek some counseling and try to rebuild the relationship on a solid

emotional foundation, then you can do that. Now, you can do whatever you want to. I'm not a family counselor. I'm just an old guy who's seen a lot of crap and a lot of crappy people do crappy stuff to each other and hurt each other in the process. And in that, like you're saying, there's a lot of shame, a lot of guilt, a lot of lack of forgiveness. There's a lot of human qualities there that are very, very evident. And in order to make the relationship right, take the money stuff out of it completely. But focusing there just on that relationship as you two as individuals, the healthier you both can become and then coming together. Yes, we'll be, you know, we'll create the formula for the marriage to be possibly withstanding other things. But but oh, there's a lot of dysfunction there.

And just that and just that question. I'm sorry. Sorry, kiddo. I wish you had a better situation. But let me tell you what you allow in your life is what's going to take place. And you're allowing a shame-based booty call is all you're doing here. That's all that's going down. And, you know, you're going to have to decide are you worth it or not to stand up and walk out of there

and say I'm going to have a different situation and I'm going to rebuild my life and I'm going to have a solid situation, and I'm going to rebuild my life, and I'm going to have a solid foundation that I go to. But that's all this is. It's just back to the original thing that drew you guys together, which was a physical connection, and that's drawn you back together, and he wants to act like nothing's going on, except that he wants a $50,000 car. Of course there's something going on.

His heart's still screwed up. He's still mad. He's still angry. But, you know, we can live together. I'm sorry, honey. I wish you had a different situation. My heart breaks for you. It really does.

But that's what I would tell my daughter. And I don't know if you'll do it or not. I hope you do it. But I hope you get some good, solid men and women in your life that can guide you and love you well through this and help you help you keep your mind focused on things that'll work this is the dave ramsey show Most people's money problems come from not paying attention. That's why before I spend a dime of my money on something, I do the research and make sure it's going to live up to what it claims. Recently, I got a great pair of sunglasses from a company called Shady Rays. When you're looking

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We know this. It's been there. The COVID thing has messed up people's lives, obviously. Scared people. Messed up their incomes. And there's a lot of things you can't control. A lot of things that are scary. but you can control the controllables don't let the constant news cycle get you down and don't you dare pull out that credit card for the very first time ever we're giving you a free

trial of the financial peace membership for 14 days you'll get a free 14-day trial for all our digital content, including all nine lessons of Financial Peace University, our proven plan to win with money, and it includes full access to the EveryDollar Plus budgeting app, which gives you bank connectivity so your budget updates based on your debit card usage. you even get the newest app the baby steps tracker all free for 14 days go to daveramsey.com slash hope daveramsey.com slash hope so far almost a hundred thousand of you have it's been pretty incredible just in a month and a half two months here yeah binge watch those videos learn to take take control of your money. It's an incredible, powerful tool to, gosh, to be able to say, you know what, instead of life dictating my money decisions, I'm going to understand and learn how money works and actually apply it and change the behavior in the process

and come out on the other end with peace because there's just complete control. That's our hope for you. Anthony O'Neill, Chris Hogan, Rachel Cruz, and me are the teachers. DaveRamsey.com slash hope. All right, Sam's with us in Texas. Hey, Sam, how are you? Hey, David, how are you doing today? Better than I deserve.

How can I help? Good, good. Yes, sir. So I'm 18 years old. I have about $17,000 saved. I'm in no debt. I'm working full-time at AT&T. I'm wanting to do community college here in the fall. It's about $3,000 a semester for two years.

But I need help budgeting because I need a car here eventually by the end of the summer. So I need help budgeting for a car, how much I should keep in my savings, and how much should I use for college, and then how much should I invest in, like, stuff. I don't know how to invest in stocks or anything, but just wanted some guidance because I'm clueless. Sam, how did you get $17,000 as an 18-year-old? I'm just curious.

Just saving. Just saving and saving every dime I've made. Well, let me help you. You're not clueless. You're a stud. It's amazing. That's pretty incredible. I appreciate it.

Very well done. I appreciate it. Okay. Well, here's the thing, dude. I would just do simple math, nothing complicated. Okay. You don't need to worry about investing right now if you're going to go to college. That is your investment.

You are the investment. Okay. And you are going to go to college. That is your investment. You are the investment. And you are going to give you a better rate of return than any mutual fund will. Study something, obviously, that's usable in the marketplace and that's going to cause you to have a greater income than if you don't go to school. That would be the important thing. What are you thinking of studying? Honestly, I have no idea. I'm just taking, you know, each step at a time with the Lord and just I have no idea. I'm just taking each step at a time with the Lord and just have no idea.

So just taking steps. Well, the mind of man plans his ways, but the Lord directs his steps, Proverbs says. And so it's okay to go ahead and start looking out there and having a game plan and begin with the end in mind is what that scripture means. Stephen Covey talks about that in the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. That's one of the seven habits, begin with the end in mind is what that scripture means. Stephen Covey talks about that in the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. That's one of the seven habits. Begin with the end in mind. And so go ahead and start thinking about what you

want to study. And if you don't know, you can pick a broader degree that is usable. Rachel has a communications degree. There's a lot of stuff you can do with a communications degree. Everything from journalism to media to writing to a lot of stuff you can do with a communications degree, everything from journalism to media to writing to a lot of different things. My son Daniel, her little brother, has a business degree with a specialization in marketing.

There's a lot of stuff you can do with that. That's a broad field of study, but it is very applicable. And, Sam, you mentioned going to community college, right? Yeah. I'm trying to pay everything in cash. Good. Yeah, and it's $2,000 a semester in cash just good yeah and it's 2 000 a semester for two years so you're saying uh no so it's three three thousand per semester oh three thousand

yeah about that yeah yeah okay okay so you need six thousand for that right for one year yeah and you need twelve thousand for two years, right? Correct. Okay. And so if you spend more than $5,000 on your car with $17,000, then you've stepped into your money to get through the first two years of community college, and you're going to have to make that up during that two years, right? Yes, sir. Yeah, I'm going to keep working full time. Yeah, that's the simple math that we're talking about. So what were you thinking of spending on your car?

I don't know. I was thinking maybe not past $10,000. Okay. All right. Well, okay, let's say you spend $10,000. That leaves $7,000. And you need $6,000 for school for year one. That leaves you a $1,000, that leaves $7,000, and you need $6,000 for school for year one, that leaves you a $1,000 margin, right?

Okay, yeah. Yeah, that's pretty tight. So I'm going to keep it under $10,000 for sure. I'd probably be $8,000 or south. $5,000 to $8,000 would be the range I'd probably be in, because I want you to have some wiggle room, and I don't want you to have to step out of school if something happens, and I don't want you to run out of money. Sure. Yes, sir. How much can you save a month right now? How much do I make a month? How much can you save a month right now? A month right now?

Uh, everything except like 10% of each paycheck. So pretty much everything. Cause I don't, I still live with my dad. How much money can you save per month right now? Yeah, $2,000 because my job is commission-based, but average $1,000 together. So if you saved $1,000 a month, that's another $12,000 before next year when you get ready to go to school. As long as all that continues to work, your $5,000 to $8,000 on the car price is probably pretty good. You're going to be in good shape.

But that's how we do it. We just say, okay, there's two things grabbing at money. The tuition, well, three things, living, the tuition, and the purchase of the car. And let's just add those three things together and not run out of money. That's your simple math. And you're obviously a saver. You're obviously a guy who thinks through things and very proud of you. You've done a great job.

It's pretty impressive. Well, for an 18-year-old, I'm like, man. But being able to plan out exactly what you're saying. And the community college, like, it's a great route. Pay cash for it. Do it. Get the degree. Now, do make sure that the four-year degree you're wanting to transfer into

accepts credits from that community college. Now, do make sure that the four-year degree you're wanting to transfer into accepts credits from that community college. Go ahead and make sure. If that's what you want to do or stop at the community college. If you're going to stop after two, that's fine. But if you're going on, that's the other thing. Maria is in Kansas. Hey, Maria, what's up? Hello, sir.

How are you? Great. How can we help? So I have a question. I was going through my debts. How are you? Great. How can we help? So I have a question. I was going through my debts. Monday I was diagnosed with breast cancer and I'm going through my stuff in a panic because I have a debt. A couple of years ago I did the mistake of getting an installment loan from a payday

loan company and I lost my job and I couldn't pay the full amount so I said I can pay you partial payment and they did not want to accept it and I said well when you're willing to accept my partial payment give me a call um because that's all I have to give you so about a year went by and I was served with papers to collect on the debt. And I made a payment plan with the lady over the phone for $100 a month. So the debt was resolved. And I went to court. My friend said, you still have to go to court to make sure the payment plan is entered because they can still garnish you. So I said, okay, and I went.

And my question for you, sir, is I've been paying $100 a month in the pandemic. My employer, they let a bunch of people go. Now I'm diagnosed with breast cancer. I take care of my disabled mom and brother. And I don't want, you know, like I told my mom, I said, I'm about to go down a fight like you did, and I need you to pull up your big girl pants and help me out. And as I'm looking at this, I don't want her to be stuck with trying to figure this out. And my question for you is, knowing that I made it to the point of going to court

and they got a garnishment and I've been honoring my payment arrangement, can I settle it with them, or am I past that point and offer to pay it off? Okay. Tell you what, honey, you've got a lot going on. Let's put you on hold. We'll come back and talk after this break. I don't want to give you a 30-second answer in a life as full as yours is.

This is The Dave Ramsey Show. Thank you. Please hear me loud and clear. The government is not going to bail you out of your student loans, at least not completely and not without a catch. What they're talking about only impacts federal, not private loans, and you need to take responsibility for what you owe and pay your debt down quicker. Right now, Splash Financial is offering their lowest rates ever. With lower rates and extra payments, you could just find yourself debt-free in the next five years. Visit SplashFinancial.com slash Ramsey to see if you qualify. Rachel Cruz, my co-host on the show today.

This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Maria is in Kansas. Monday, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She takes care of her disabled mom and her brother. They've been on furlough, and she has a $100 agreed order, $100 a month, with a payday lender who had sued her. She went to court and cut the deal with him, went to court to verify that it was an agreed order

and has been paying $100 a month. Wants to know if she can now go back and settle it. Is that a fair summary of everything you told us, kiddo? Yes, sir. Okay. How old are you? 32. Okay.

Now, you've been furloughed and not receiving a paycheck for how long? So, not furloughed. I am currently working. Oh, good. I apologize. I am currently working right now. Yeah. So what do you make? About every two weeks, I average about $940. Okay. And that supports your whole household. Your mom have an income or your brother?

Um, they get disability. Both of them. Okay. Yes, sir. Okay. Which probably sir. Okay. Which probably amounts to about as much as you're making, right? Yes, sir, for the month. Yeah. Okay.

And, okay, so do you think you're going to lose that job due to furlough? I don't think so. I don't either. They were a very good company, and they told me that they'll be of support or whatever I need to do to get through this. And then just looking at my stuff, it kind of sent me in a panic, and then I was watching your show, and I got brave and called you. I'm glad you did.

I appreciate it. Sorry you had to be brave to do it, but I'm glad you called. You've got a lot on your plate. So I think the first thing I'm going to worry about is you, when you're fighting cancer, your first goal is to beat cancer. Everything else is a second or a third or a fourth goal, and that includes taking care of your mom. She's got income.

Your brother, he's got income. Taking care of other people. Worrying about a $100 bill. Your first goal is you spend your emotional energy, your spiritual energy on beating cancer. Okay? Yes, sir. That's not selfish.

That's how you beat it. Agreed? Yes, sir. And I not selfish. That's how you beat it. Agreed? Yes, sir. And I think you're going to do it. And you've been talking to people inside this building even before you got on the air that have beat it and are winning. And so you've already gotten some encouragement from our team today. I know that before they put you on the line. Okay? Yes, she's a very nice lady.

Yes, absolutely. And she's tough, just like you. And so, if... The second thing is, then, we're going to take care of food, shelter, transportation, and utilities. You keep the lights on. Did you hear payday lender in the list yet? Nope.

Okay. I've watched a little YouTube. This was a one and done type of thing. Yeah, yeah. I watched a little video. No, I don't. If I'm broke, I'm broke. That's it.

Yeah. I'm fighting cancer. You ain't on my list of things I'm worrying about. Okay? Now, if you continue to make the money you're making, you continue to make that $100 payment, I would just do that. You don't have any money saved, do you? I have a whopping $200 in my emergency fund. Yeah.

You don't need to settle with them. You need to pay them $100 a month. And the reason you do that is you've got an agreed order. As long as you pay the $100 a month, they won't garnish you. But because there's an agreed order, they can garnish you very quickly and very easily if you don't. Okay. Because that's already entered at the court. There's already been a judgment at the court.

Okay. It's not a threat anymore. It's a fact. Okay. And so you've agreed before the judge, and if you break your agreement with the judge, that's in a sense what you're doing, then they can real quickly knock you down, okay,

and garnish you for a lot more. What is the balance on this loan? It's last time I checked it, which was two months ago, was $ was 768 dollars okay so you're whittling away at it starting to go away okay yes so i want you to build up your thousand dollar emergency fund as your next goal after you're beating cancer and after you're taking care of necessities and then we'll worry about these guys later just keep the hundred dollars going as long as you can keep it going if you reach the point long as you can keep it going. If you reach the point that you can't keep it going,

pick up the phone and call the court where you were and talk to the judge's assistant or paralegal and tell them your situation and ask them what you can file, and they may help you file something. It's a very, very, very, very, very small debt. Okay. And you, and it's, but it looms very large in your face right now. And you don't need to be overwhelmed with this. You've got other things to fight. And if you keep things prioritized, Rachel, you can do just about anything, right? Well, that's what I hope Maria gives you the plan and the courage and the strength

of having a plan. Because I think when it's all these numbers and these facts and these emotions and fear because of the diagnosis, I mean, so much is just whirling around that it's so easy kind of just to get caught up in that. And I think what happens is we take emotion over fact. And so getting the facts down, I know for me, always helps situations. And so being able to list everything out, do a budget and say, okay, here's how much we need for food. This is how much our mortgage is or rent, your utilities, transportation. Here's what we have to have to live on and be very, very, very diligent with your income. And then here's that $100. All of that is going to give you peace. And thankfully,

I think the silver lining is even though that $700 debt seems massive, you'll be able to knock that out sooner than later. You'll look up in seven months, and hopefully that'll just be out of your life completely versus it being a $12,000 debt or something along those lines. And so I think having a plan in place and sticking with that fact that should hopefully give you some peace knowing that there is a way out. Here's the thing. Here's what's going to happen. Okay. I've walked through this a lot of times in the last 30 years. Here's what's going to happen. Five years from today, you're going to be a cancer survivor. And this time in your life is going to be the time that you got the most serious about money and career and other things,

and the result of all this manure is you're going to prosper. That's what's going to happen five years from today. You're going to be winning like you've never won before in your life. Yes, sir. I've seen it happen. I've seen it happen a lot. Say, I'm going to win. I'm going to win. I'm going to win.

I better win. You're going to whip this thing, all right? And here's the other thing. You're going to call me back if you need any help anytime, okay? Yes, sir, and thank you for talking to me. Sure. God bless you, kiddo. Open phones at 888-825-5225.

You jump in. We'll talk about your life and your money and they always go together don't they rachel we're talking a lot inside ramsey right now about people in their individual lives but sometimes culture-wide we have a never again moment and we say never again and when you were a baby and we went your mom and i went broke we said never again. And when you were a baby and your mom and I went broke, we said, never again. Some people, because of COVID right now, are saying, never again. Her, I got a $762 bill that's dominating my mind. And while I should be worrying about breast cancer,

should be praying about breast cancer, should be fighting breast cancer. And so I predict that she's going to have a never again moment and say never again is something as small as a $700 bill going to dominate my life. Yeah. And the result will be five years from now, she will have prospered because this is where she takes her stand. And when people do that, when they do that, when they draw that line in the sand, it transforms their lives permanently.

Absolutely. And we always talk about how pain is not the sand, it transforms their lives permanently. Absolutely. And we always talk about how pain is not the only teacher. There's other teachers out there. It doesn't have to come from pain. But when it does come from pain, when it comes from something like a pandemic that freaks you out, scares you to death, a diagnosis, a job loss, whatever it is, a painful event is the time we see people get more motivated than ever to draw that line in the sand and say, never again. So if you're in that moment, let that be yours. Yeah. Some of you are fighting, you know, you're like, man, pandemic kicked my butt. Okay. I understand. Bankruptcy kicked my butt because I was an idiot. So you get your butt kicked. Here's what you do. Never again. Never again. and the other side of a never again is a more prosperous life

because you change the crap that brought you there this is the Dave Ramsey show You may feel like there's not a lot you can control these days, but I'm here to tell you, you can control your budget and you can control what you feed your family. My longtime friends at eMeals are here to help. They have simplified meal plans and created new recipe collections such as easy pantry meals and freezer meals utilizing basic ingredients. It has never been easier to shop smarter and stay on a budget. Try it free for two full weeks at eMeals.com. is your insurance company ever bumped your car insurance rate for no freaking reason it's maddening isn't it it just ticks you off and uh you're trying to get out of debt you're trying to save money and boom well you don't have to just sit there and take it i want you to say

never again see things happen you to say never again. See, things happen when you say never again. You can work with an independent insurance agent, which is one of our endorsed local providers. We call them ELPs. They're endorsed, they're local, and they provide help with your insurance. These guys are great because they actually work for you. They shop around a gazillion different companies to get you the best price for your situation on your car and your homeowner's insurance most people who work with an elp

save around 700 bucks over what they were paying and that's because they're independent and they shop hundreds of companies the other companies like state farm those guys are called captive agents which means that they're held captive by that one company, and they can only sell that one company's products, and consequently, they're not the best deal. That's how it works. So go to DaveRamsey.com slash ELP, click on insurance, and it'll save you money. DaveRamsey.com slash ELP. Travis is with us.

Travis is in West Virginia. Hi, Travis. How are you? Wonderful. How are you? Good. How can we help? The company that I have worked for has closed their doors on a facility that I specifically work at.

Now there's still a few of us still there working. The first six years that I worked there, the company paid into our retirement. The rest of the time has been paid in by my union. They have offered me a buyout on that six years. My question is, do I take that buyout, roll it over into an IRA, or I can pay off my bills and pay off all my bills with it? So do I do that? I still have the time with my union.

I've been there for 21 years. So that six years, like I said, would pay off everything that I owe on. The question is, do I take that money, roll it over in an IRA, traditional or Roth, or do I pay off everything that I owe? If you don't roll it to a traditional, it's going to be taxed. Correct. And what's your household income? Between my wife and I, we bring home about $6,500 a month. Okay. So you're in about a 25% tax bracket. So about a fourth of it is going to go to the government. How much money

is involved? They offer me $166,000 before the penalties and taxes. So you're going to go to the government. How much money is involved? They offer me $166,000 before the, you know, penalties and taxes. So you're going to lose between $40,000 and $50,000 in taxes. Correct. I would not pay 25% interest to pay off my bills. And effectively, that's what you're doing.

And that's why we tell people to always roll to your 401k unless it's to avoid a bankruptcy or a foreclosure. I roll it to a, in this case, your retirement, your buyout, but always roll it to an IRA to keep from the government from getting a fourth of it. I wouldn't walk away from 50 grand, man. Wouldn't do it. I'd pay those bills out of my pocket, out of my income.

And that's what we've always said. Yeah, and then when you get to retirement age, being able to cash it out, and then using that at that point with no penalties or taxes to... Well, you don't have the taxes even then. I mean, when you get to retirement age, the money's always taxed if it's pre-taxed. Yeah, the penalties.

You don't have the penalty. You don't have the penalty on this, probably, because of the SECURE Act. But still, I'm not going to mess up your nest egg here. Not at this stage. You know, you can get to it. If you put it into an ira anytime you get in trouble you can cash it out and have the exact same situation

and uh no i just i i wouldn't do it i know it looks tempting to create a clean slate but that's a premium to pay man about a quarter on a dollar forty thousand dollars that's a lot of money, man. Savannah is with us in Maryland. Hey, Savannah, how are you? I'm well, Dave. How are you? Great. How can we help? So glad to be on with you and Rachel.

So I am calling today because I am in Financial Peace University, and I'm also on baby step two, but I have $363,000 worth of debt. And I'm just wondering how to stay motivated while I'm paying this off. It's a lot of debt, girl. Is that include your, is that include your house or is that is that other does not include well you could say it's almost a house i have student loans are you a doctor or a lawyer neither what is your degree i didn't know

i didn't i didn't know what i wanted to be when I grew up. So I am actually a nurse, and I did not even pay to go to nursing school. I paid to get my master's degree in nursing, but to actually go to nursing school I did not even pay. Okay. So you have a master's in nursing. I do. And what do you make? $120.

Okay. That's good news make? $120. Okay. That's good news. That's good. Okay. So if you live on beans and rice, rice and beans, how quick do you pay off $300? If you pay $60 a year, it's five years, right? $300 divided by 60 is five, right? If you pay $50 a year, it's six years.

If you pay $70 a year, it's four years and some change. That leaves you $50,000 a year, it's six years. If you pay $70,000 a year, it's four years and some change. That leaves you $50,000 to live on. Okay. See the math? Okay. I see it. But, you know, let me tell you, after taxes, $120,000, and you take $70,000 out, you're on beans and rice. Well, I actually have another full-time job.

I'm working two jobs. Oh, so what's your total income? So the total is probably 190. Oh, look at you. It gets better and better. Okay. Okay, well, let me give you a couple numbers to kind of help what gives me hope. Okay. The average household income in America, household income, and sometimes that's two people working,

is $59,000. Let's call it 60, okay? Okay. If you lived on the average household income with 190 coming in, that would leave you 130 minus taxes, right? Okay. That's 100 a year year you're done in three years it feels much better sounds much better it ain't gonna be fun i what i'm the prescription i'm giving you miss nurse is gonna hurt this is physical therapy after the knee surgery okay okay ouch okay you're gonna have no freaking life you've been diddy bopping along making a couple of hundred a year making no progress i'm

getting ready to change your life and it ain't gonna be fun but it's gonna get you out of debt well that's what i want to do i want to get out of debt yeah i mean you're going to have to live like no one else so later you can live and give like no one else you're single i'm married actually okay what's he make but my husband is not he makes 90 oh my god but this gets better every minute um but he's not, like, into the baby steps yet. Although he has no debt. I've convinced him by just talking. So he's paid off two cars.

He's paid off all his credit cards. And he actually gave me $20,000 for Valentine's Day. So I paid off a lot of things. Okay. So I paid off a lot of things. Okay, I want the two of you to combine your finances and your freaking $300,000 household income, and I want you to get your little bitty $300,000 worth of debt paid off in two and a half years, and I want you to combine your goals. Combine your incomes.

You make more than he makes. I guess he's not going to Financial Peace University with you, is he? Are you in FPU? Oh, you said you were. Yeah, he needs to go with you, kiddo. No, he's not. He needs to go with you. He needs to go with you.

It's marriage counseling. It's going to change your life. You guys got plenty of money. You just been wandering around without a game plan, and you need to bear down on this, and you can do it then the math is more convincing than you are you got to get convinced and uh you're still not sure it can happen and i'm sitting here going a hundred thousand a year for three years you're done or oh wait a minute my husband makes a hundred oh my gosh that's 200 a year yeah and that's yet another had another job. And then, whoa.

Yeah. This is getting better by the minute. You know? I mean, wow. Keep talking to her. We're going to have a whole new story. I may get some money before this is over. This is great.

You're doing so good. It's possible. All you got to do is start believing and be willing to pay a price and write that down. And the two of you buckle down, lock arms for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. All my worldly goods I pledge unto you. That's what the old marriage vows said. They don't say that anymore, but they used to say it, and they should. I'm an old-fashioned dude.

Rachel Cruz, good job. Thanks. Thanks for having me on. That puts this hour of The Dave Ramsey Show in the books. This is James Childs, producer of The Dave Ramsey Show. Once again, you made The Dave Ramsey Show one of the top four most popular podcasts last year. To get your daily dose of motivation and inspiration from the Ramsey Network, subscribe or follow today wherever you listen to podcasts. Families all over the country

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