The Ramsey Show - App - My Ex-Wife Keeps Dropping Nuclear Bombs on Me (Hour 1)

Episode Date: March 19, 2021

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live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studio, this is The Ramsey Show, where America hangs out to have money, to have a conversation about your life and your money. My name is Anthony O'Neill, host of the popular YouTube and podcast show, The Table, with Anthony O'Neill. And co-hosting with me today is a national bestselling author and host of the Dr. John Deloney show. And together we're taking your phone calls today. Triple eight, eight, two, five, five, two, two, five, triple eight, eight, two, five, five, two, two, five. Any questions around money? Any questions around relationships?

Any questions around your mental health, give us a call. And single brothers, any questions with you all wondering, can you purchase a home as a single man? Give us a call right here live on the air. We're doing it today. You have two single men in here. We can answer that question.

I got attacked yesterday for it. I'm not single. I mean, I'm single. You said you got two single men in here. But answer that question i got attacked yesterday for i'm not single i mean i'm single you said you got two single men in here but you're the coach though you're the mental coach so you can help out single brothers too oh so if one of them calls yes yes yes christy got me in trouble yesterday because um oh i like how you did that typical single guy blaming the powerful strong brilliant woman continue go. Go ahead, man. She got you in trouble. I like how you started that off.

Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm just saying. I'm just saying, though. It's going to be a good day. All right. It'll be good. It's going to be a real good day. Man, I mean, it is jam-packed out there in the lobby today. Hey, you guys.

Man, look, amazing. So good to see everybody. Some good-looking people out there chilling with us. You know what? They came today because they heard Dave was out was out and there you and i were taking over the show that's and so um you know yes you look at him saying yep yep and so you know you got a little bit of chocolate and vanilla yes lord 888-825-5225 is uh the number give us a call madison is standing by and she would definitely uh patch you through let's go ahead and jump on the phone lines, man. You ready for us? Let's do it. Let's talk to Rachel out in New York. Good afternoon, Rachel.

This is Anthony O'Neill. How can Dr. John and I help? Hey, guys. I am good. And so then, yeah, thank you so much for taking my call. Yeah, thank you for calling in. Yeah, so my question is right now, my husband and I are currently on baby step two and we've paid off like 58,000, which is a way which has been great. And we've been,

yeah, like following the steps. But right now, we have 22,000 left and it, I don't know. We're just like struggling to find motivation. I'm I'm in grad school and then my husband is working right now in sales and it's I don't know we're just we're

struggling to balance between even uh yeah continuing to um you know have the bell intensity and then also balancing life and um and it's also tough because like no one else i don't know like our friends and family don't um do their ramsay and so it's kind of um it's one of the kind of lonely i mean obviously we have the two of us to like support each other but it's i don't know yeah it's just lacking motivation i guess so you said you're 58 in and you got 22 to go yes yep oh you're so close, man. Yeah, man. What are you going to grad school for?

Chemistry. I didn't hear you. Chemistry. Chemistry. Oh, chemistry. Yeah. It's so cool to talk to smart people, Anthony. It's like one of my favorite things.

I know. Especially people smarter than me. Yes. But, you know, let's celebrate, Rachel, the fact that you paid off fifty eight thousand dollars all right one of the key things that you have to do when it comes to uh keep pushing through the baby steps is is acknowledge okay where did you start where are you at today and celebrate those wins and so you are paying off 50 you paid off fifty eight thousand dollars this is great this is amazing like i'm i'm ready to put you on the stage and say, let's have a future debt free screen. Because

you've done what most people are not willing to do. They're not to eat. I'm just saying. I'm excited for it. I'm super excited. Rachel, why are y'all getting out of debt? Why? Yeah, so the biggest thing for us is

just with our legacy and our family. Like, we both have great families, right? And they're awesome. But even just kind of, like, continuing that godly heritage we have. But we also want to, like, continue the godly heritage and not have, like, any financial issues, you know? Because I even think, like, one of the things, even with, it is cool because it's almost like spiritual formation, like wealth building. And it's nice to not have any of the financial distractions and be able to, you know, some of the reasons we tell people no isn't because we don't have the finances to do it. It's just because we don't want to.

Yeah. So when you say you're struggling with staying motivated, paint me a picture of that. Is it just you wake up and it feels crummy or you just have days where you're like, this just sucks. Or you're in a season now where you've been doing grad school and chemistry mostly online and

it's exhausting and your husband's been on the road and it's exhausting and then it's still March something and we're just coming out of the cold season and it's exhausting and everything just it's still March something, and we're just coming out of the cold season, and it's exhausting, and everything just kind of is like bleh. Yeah, I think the biggest thing for us that's hard is, so kind of what you were saying, right, where it's like, you know, we're doing stuff with our careers,

and we're kind of at like the beginning training stages. And I think it's hard because it's it's almost like we sometimes just feel kind of um lonely i guess pursuing um yeah like uh like um a wealthy lifestyle i guess for lack of a better word or doing things that are really weird like usually i don't know most of the time but sometimes i it's like oh man this is just great and like i know the why it's also hard when you like you don't have this strong community around you of people who are also doing it um i don't know because it's like i guess again as i said we have each other but it's just sometimes it's like i wish we had more people yeah well rachel rachel a lot of a lot of my millionaire friends told me this. And I want to give this pass this down to you, because I think one of the things that I teach within my particular tribe is if your why doesn't make you cry, then a price of commitment will make you cry.

And so I hear you say your why. But I want to hear you get a little emotional if your why is so deep that sometimes it brings tears to your eyes your father's i mean your husband's eyes um then you can push through but i also want to encourage you and just remind you this is not a popular statement but sometimes when you are going and doing things that normal people do not do you will feel lonely every time you will you know and so it's like for me on this journey that i have right now of not racking up any debt of building a legacy for my kids you know i do feel a little lonely but you know what i understand that it's okay because where i'm going is going to be for the best for me and my family and i refuse to be comfortable and broke i'd rather be uncomfortable a little lonely and wealthy okay and so um my

suggestion to you is identify that why spend some time and just get deeper in that why until you start feeling some eyes coming not some eyes some tears coming out of your eyes then from there just remind yourself hey we're going to be a little lonely and that's okay and everyone who feels lonely when they're doing something weird for the betterment of themselves, their family, their community, I promise you there's a group of weirdos in your local community. If you will go first. You cannot do this alone. That's why we have the Baby Steps communities online and in person. You've got to reach out and find some people.

Get a Y that will get stuck in your throat, and then go find people that are going to wrap themselves around you, man. They are out there. Go do the work and find people. Absolutely. If your why doesn't make you cry, then the price of commitment, the price to true success will make you cry. We're going to talk more about this right here on The Ramsey Show.

Have you ever wondered how to save more money or pay off debt faster? What about the right way to invest? Listen, I've been there, asking the same questions with no idea where to turn for answers. But here's the good news. You don't have to keep searching for answers. Ramsey Plus will guide you every step of the way so you always know what to do with money next. Ramsey Plus is our step-by-step plan that shows you how to get consistent small wins with money and even some big ones so you can see exactly how you're making progress. Then we can help you turn all those wins into better habits that last. You can be confident you're doing the right thing with money.

And that means no more payments, cash in the bank for emergencies, and a plan for your future. Get started today with a free trial of Ramsey Plus at DaveRamsey.com. DaveRamsey.com. That's DaveRamsey.com. Welcome back to the Ramsey Show. My name is Anthony O'Neill, Ramsey personality. Joined in the studio with me is also a national bestselling author and host of the Dr. John Deloney Show. The one and only Dr. John Deloney.

We're taking your phone calls this hour. 888-825-5225. 888-825-5225. 888-825-5225. And America, I want to say, if you're ever in the area, if you're ever in the city of Nashville or Franklin, Murfreesboro, and you just want to come out and just chill, come by the office, tour our office, tour the lobby, and have some cookies.

I'm telling you right now, you see them waving at you. Some people are inviting you to the beautiful city of Franklin, Tennessee. And I'm telling you right now, the cookies smell good. As soon as you walk through the door, you're going to want to stay here for about a good two, three hours and enjoy listening to Dave and one of the personalities on the Ramsey show. And they're pushers over there, man. Are they? They will figure out how to get those cookies. Yes.

Into your body. It's the chocolate chip. Man. You know? I'm an oatmeal raisin guy, but, man, I'll tell you what. They make them there every day. I'm going to talk to Dave and our producer, James, and see if we're allowed to eat one of the cookies while we're on the show. On the show.

That would be so cool. Oh, man, let's go out to the phone lines phone lines again 888-825-5225 you know we're talking about your life so any area you want to talk about give us a call and we'll walk you through and give you our opinions our our wisdom and knowledge and if we can't answer the question believe it or not america we will say i don't know i'm not gonna say that but well i will i'll say that because uh you know i don't know. I'm not going to say that. Well, I will. I'll say that because, you know, I don't want to get sued. Let's go out to Oklahoma and have a conversation with Ruby. Good afternoon, Ruby. How can Dr. John and I help?

I'm trying to figure out if I should start saving for a house now or make double payments on my debt. Okay. All right. Talk to us. Give us a bit more information about yourself. How much debt are you in? Currently, I have about twenty four hundred dollars left out of twelve thousand dollars for my divorce. OK, so you're only at twenty four hundred dollars left in debt. You paid off what is out of twelve thousand dollars.

OK, cool. What's your household income? My household income about every two weeks is just a little over nine hundred dollars. Also, eighteen hundred dollars a month is your net? Yes. Okay. But that also includes the 401k, which I put 5% in and my employer matches that 5%. Okay, cool. And you have any kids, Ruby? I have two. Okay, two kids. And I don't receive child support or any financial help. Any reason why you don't receive child support? Yeah, I expect that child support about the same time I'll get half of the mutual debt paid back. So never? So pretty much. Yeah.

Okay, all right. Okay. I hate that for you, Ruby. I know with my tax bracket, I will restarting in June, I'll be getting that extra $500 a month for the next month. Okay. All right. All right. Well, Ruby, what's this $2,400 in debt? I'm curious. It was just for my divorce. I was getting my excessive money orders to pay the taxes on our land and on the state taxes and stuff like that.

And apparently he never paid them. Okay. So I had to take out, uh, the loans to consolidate everything because there was back owed taxes and I got most of that paid off. I think I have $800 left on that loan. And then my other ones are,

I have a senior HUD account, which is what I've done Christmas with for the last few years. Okay. That was probably my highest one. That one right there is, I think, around $1,400. Okay. All right. And then the rest of it is just a little bit on credit cards that I use for gas and then I pay back, use for gas and pay back.

So it's revolving credit. Okay, cool. All right. Sounds good. I mean, well, it doesn't sound good at you and, but I mean, you don't, it doesn't sound too bad. So to answer your question, I'm going to give you one part question. Then I'm gonna give you some extra stuff that you didn't ask for. Number one is no, ma'am, you're not in a position to purchase a home just yet. All right. Not saying that you will not be. But as of right now, with $2,400 in debt and only making $1,800 a month as in your net, which I'm guessing you're right around $2,400 gross. Right now, we need to focus on just creating a solid foundation for you and your kids. So I'm going to say double up on your debt. Do you have any money in your savings account right now?

No, I've been putting everything towards paying off the debt because I have a year to find my own place. Okay. My roommates are moving in April, and the town I live in, it's expensive to rent. It's about $800 a month. Yeah. And if I was to get a house that was even bigger than what I can get for $800 a month, my mortgages would look at about $550 to $650 a month. Yeah, but I tell everyone, just because the mortgage is cheaper than your rent doesn't mean your house is cheaper than your apartment.

All day, every day, Ruby. And so I get the fact that you're looking at your mortgage payment, but I promise you, your water bill goes up, your electricity bill goes up, you've got to cut the grass, you've got to maintain the grass, you've got to maintain the house. So right now, renting for you is the best option because you just pay your rent and just maintain the interior of the

house. But if anything breaks, your landlord is responsible for that. So right now, renting for you is the best option because you don't want to go purchase a house and you don't even have, you know, a thousand dollars sitting in your savings account. You don't have any money for an emergency. So what I want you to do is walk through the baby steps. Number one, you're going to put a thousand dollars in your savings account. Number one, you're going to put $1,000 in your savings account. Number two, you're going to pay off all the rest of this $2,400. And then number three, you're going to set aside three to six months. So you're already on baby step number four and baby step number two, Ruby. So what I want you to do is stop investing.

I understand you got the match from your employer, but that 5% can help you get out of this $2,400 very, very well. Now, I'm not telling you to withdraw from your 401k. I'm just telling you to pause putting money into your 401k so you can put more money towards this $2,400 and stack up three to six months. Now, let's talk about your job. I want to connect you with our career expert here called Ken Coleman, because I do believe that you need to get your income up. So that way you can at least get to run around $2,500 to $3,000 take home a month. So that way you can get into the house that you want. So here I'm going to say this again,

then I'm going to let Dr. John come in. Number one, no, you're not in position to purchase a home. Number two, stop investing. Use that 5% to go towards all of your paying off your debt. But before you pay off your debt, Ruby, put a thousand dollars in your savings account. Okay. So you're gonna make all your minimum payments, get a thousand dollars in your savings account, then go back to aggressively attacking this $2,400. Why are you doing all that? You're going to get on the phone and I'm next week ruby i want you to call into the king coleman show and i want you to ask king coleman how can i get my income up hey ruby how soon how recent was your divorce over uh my divorce was uh it was officialized in 2016 okay so you're still rebounding from it several years later, huh?

Yes, just because of the amount of the debt and honestly how expensive it is in this town. Yeah. What's the allure of that town? The allure of the town is one, the benefits. Two, me and my children are Native Americans, and this is where our tribe's at. There you go. Okay. So I get benefits from my tribe, and for my employer, there's actually really great health benefits, and there's really great, like I said, the retirement, vacation. It's like when COVID hit, I had the opportunity to work from home so that I could still be here when my kids weren't allowed to go to school. That's right. And so I've got a close, close friend who is in a tribe there in Oklahoma City. Absolutely understand that and understand the community and the resources she got there too. I need you to hear me and Anthony tell you,

you are in a financial emergency and that heart racing that you experience all the time, that frustration you have with getting to the end of the month, and here it is five years later, and you're still paying off $12,000 worth of debt. You're balancing, you're trading this false safety for, if you listen to what Anthony's going to tell you, you're talking about legacy change. You are talking about being able to sleep in a way you haven't slept in years ruby okay and so and instead of trying to get on some kind of hud loan so you can do christmas every year i want you to be able to go to the store with your own

cash in your own place and it's going to be hard and it may mean you got to get a different employer millions and millions and millions of people worked from home this past year to be with their kids. And millions and millions of people have good health care. Many people don't have health care, but there's a lot of options. I want you to hang on the line. We're going to give you a copy of Ramsey Plus. And I want you to go sit through all these lessons. And I want you to look at it with new eyes.

Yeah. And just think, wow, what would happen if I could sleep all night? Welcome back to the Ramsey show. My name is Anthony O'Neill joined in the studio with me is Dr. John Deloney. Two Ramsey personalities taking your phone calls, answering your questions right here. 888-825-5225. We have one phone line open right now.

But keep calling. Madison will get you through as soon as possible. But I got a question for you guys. Anyone interested in working uh with us here at ramsey solutions well if so we want to transform so many lives that disruption spreads like wildfire across our country can you imagine a world where it is weird extremely weird to have a student loan instead of everyone assuming that's the only way to get an education oh i would love that world can you imagine a world where the majority of people pay cash for their dream cars can you

also imagine a world where credit cards are the cigarette of the financial industry imagine being a part of causing that level of disruption with the work you do every single day. Here at Ramsey Solutions, that's why we have a thousand people at our company working together to create digital products and services to help people transform their lives with the goal of disrupting the toxic money culture that exists in America today. So if you want to join us on this crusade, we're currently on the hunt for many software engineers with expertise in Ruby on Rails, Java, C Sharp, and front-end technologies. Or if you are a UX designer, SEO, and content marketing specialist, we would also love to be with you.

Can we just stop that for a second? What's up? None of those jobs existed when I was getting out of college. Zero of them. None of those jobs I don't think existed 10 years ago. I didn't even understand what a UX designer was. All the things you just said. Wow.

But here's the thing though, John. We have so many other jobs. For example, I'm looking for a video producer. You're looking for someone to make sure you make it to work on time. So if you want to join this amazing team here at Ramsey Solutions and really help us take over the world with our message, our God fearing message, I want you to text the word work that matters. Text work that matters to three, three, seven, eight, nine. Again, that is work that matters to three, three, seven, eight, nine to find out about all of our opportunities. And, y'all, we are on a mission. You know, if when you come here to the studio, you will see that we have a another building going up.

And so, Dave and the family and our board here, you know, we're, we're, we're trying to get some, we're trying to really take over. So we need hundreds of new team members to join us. So if you want to come work for an organization,

that's transforming lives, that that's helping people. Hey, text the word work. That matters to three, three, seven, eight,

nine, wherever you are. We will help you move here because we want thoroughbreds to join us. If you're a donkey, stay home. Let's go out to Spokane and have a conversation with Doug. Doug, good afternoon. How can Dr. John and I help? Hey, Dr. John and I am great to talk to you guys. And God bless you and all of Dave's team for all the help you guys provide. It's definitely helped me in my life for sure.

Awesome. So I got some issues with trying to deal with my son's mom. We're really good at co-parenting for the most part, and I've raised a wonderful son, but occasionally there's these nuclear bombs that come from text messages of changing things or she didn't like how I did something. And it's a hard thing to deal with and to, and respond to in the right way without getting emotional and, you know, taking a conversation down a path that is probably not the best way for it to go. Give me an example of a nuclear bomb. Well, so the latest instance is I am getting remarried this summer and we were discussing handoffs around what to do.

He's going to be in the wedding and all this. And I'm like, hey, he'll stay with my mom and dad the night of and come pick him up in the morning. And then she, two days later after we decided that, said, no, I'm not comfortable with him staying there. I'm going to come pick him up that night and I'll take him. And just in a text message, I have to respond to that somehow. So what about that message? So somebody just

expressed, sounds like a relatively benign boundary. I'm not comfortable with that. I'll come get him. And so what about that A is a nuclear bomb? B, why do you have to respond to that? C, why do you allow that to get into your soul and ruin what's going to be an awesome summer

event for you? Great question. Well, I guess because she's not okay with him staying with my mom and dad because she's not comfortable for some reason. She doesn't trust them to take care of him, and there's no evidence in the past for that. So I guess that's why that bugs me. And I thought we were under agreement.

I felt good about things, and then two days later this comes in. She's changing the plan on her own without really talking through it. And when is this? This is months away from now? Yeah, end of July. Okay. So, man, I don't want to minimize what you're experiencing, okay? I trust you that this hurts.

And I trust you this is frustrating. You're trying to outline these plans, okay? Yeah, that's why I'm calling you because I trust your advice. Well, I appreciate that. So I want you to do some reframing when it comes to nuclear bombs. This doesn't feel like a nuclear bomb to me. This feels like it's going to be hard for her to watch you get remarried and she doesn't want to do X, Y, and Z.

Y'all can have that conversation, okay? The second thing is, if it's not a big deal, if it's not staying with your parents, if you're talking about changing things by 24 hours, let her change things by 24 hours. This is an existential conversation, not a planning issue. Letting this affect your wedding, man, don't let it affect your wedding. Then the third thing is you are free to say, hey, I don't want to have conversations via text anymore, electronic communication anymore. Let's have a scheduled time where we talk once a week. You can respond with boundaries

in an appropriate way too. Does that make sense? Yes, that does make sense. I guess my bigger question is why are you allowing her to have this power over you? That's a good question. Well, that is a good question. She kind of puts things back on me, you know, as, as a dad, sometimes we make, make some mistakes and, um, you know, and our, and also we're different people. We plan different. What, what we feel is, is safe or cool or fun is different for each of us. And those don't line up. And I think because,

you know, obviously we're not married anymore. There's no grace coming from her side in letting me make decisions that I think would be fun for our son and to help him experience his life. Sure. I 100% get that. What's in the divorce decree? Are you being extra generous here? No. I mean, the divorce decree, I mean, we don't really follow it. We've been really good with things up until like last year, kind of when the COVID guidelines hit and my fiance, she kind of lives in a different town. So, you know, we had travel restrictions in the state and we had a lot of issues over it. Well, I'm going to see her. She didn't want me to,

because you're supposed to stay at home. There you hey so listen listen you are now your ex-wife right wrong or indifferent and again i'm trying to just give you a broad picture she's now going to experience not only she's going to experience you moving on with your life and that's going to be hard and there's going to be the safety issues that she felt with COVID. Fair enough, right? Right, wrong, or indifferent. Fair enough. And now there's an impending wedding coming, okay?

It's going to be hard. Is it right? No. Is it annoying? Yes. Is she allowed to mourn you moving on? Yes. Go back to the divorce decree, man.

There's a reason those things are written down. If you have a right to certain times with your kid, go by that divorce decree. And if you don't, you don't. But don't give her this much power. Okay? If you don't like what's in a text, call her. We're going to talk about this after the break. You said she has a right to mourn him moving on?

Of course she does. I've got to ask some more questions about that. Cool. Okay, we'll be right back. you're listening to the ramsey show my name is anthony o'neill ramsey personality joined in the studio with me and co-hosting together ramsey personality, national bestselling author, Dr. John Deloney. We're taking your phone calls. Triple eight, eight, two, five, five, two, two, five, triple eight, eight, two, five, five, two, two, five. And before we went to break, it was it was a good call.

And I didn't say much on it because you were the expert in that area. But I have a question as a product of four parents, my biological parents having me out of wedlock one of the things i really loved about all four of my parents was i didn't see or feel much drama between them oh man so they actually communicated like grown-ups from what i can remember now if it actually happened hey i don't know you know i'm saying like yeah i don't know but i was wondering from your from your chair and i think it's an important conversation just to ask and we're gonna get back to the phone calls um but do you believe that it is it is a good idea to when a couple has a divorce uh to actually go to maybe one or two counseling sessions just solely on how do we properly communicate as we are going our separate ways to raise this child

oh man because it's like children see and feel absorb it yeah everything so if they see mom is giving dad a hard time or dad is giving mom a hard time i just feel as if that's new so if do you think it'll be a wise idea because i again i, I'm not married. I'm just asking the question to the expert. Is it a wise idea for maybe couples to kind of mature up a little bit, set aside their differences, and go get some mentorship on how to do this moving forward? Yeah. Man, that's such a great question, Anthony. Part of me thinks if they were mature enough to do that, they possibly could have headed off some of these relational challenges in the past. But let's assume we're past that it it sometimes shocks people when i ask him a question i get that he or she was a terrible spouse yeah but were they a good dad or a good mom

and they'll go oh yeah they're really good at being a mom really good at showing up being a dad they just weren't good over here so yeah man yeah, man, if couples are headed that way, if they are getting divorced in the process, getting some guidance, putting your drama down for the sake of the one, two, three, five, seven kids is everything. Because you're right. They will absorb it.

Literally changes their chemistry. Absolutely. Right? Absolutely. And anyway, you can avoid, you know, what that last caller's going through. Yeah. And people grow up and and things change it's different rate uh co-parenting a three-year-old and a five-year-old than it is a 13 and a 17 year old right that's just different so yeah checking back in you're going to be a part of each other's life regardless so man get

some advice get some guidance and do that part right yeah absolutely man i just had to ask that question i love it because a lot of people who are listening to this right now are going through the same thing that they're going through. Yeah. And I just wanted to let the world know like, hey, there's nothing wrong with having a simple conversation on how do we do this properly moving forward. Right. Because it does impact our children.

I love that. Good for your folks, man. That's great. Man, my folks are amazing. I love you, mommy and daddy. I love you. Sam is with us in Portland. Good afternoon, Sam. How can Dr, Mommy and Daddy. I love you. Sam is with us in Portland. Good afternoon, Sam.

How can Dr. D and I help? Hi there. So I'm 25 years old, and I just finished Baby Step 3, and I'm wanting to begin the process for going to PA school. Okay. And it's a little ways away, but I'm wanting to know where, as I save money to cash flow my tuition, where should I place it? Should I put it in a 529? Should I put it in just a general mutual fund? Where's the best place?

How much is PA school going to cost you? And how much time, how long would it be before you actually go to school? Yeah, I've done some research on PA schools here in Oregon, but then also in other places to see what. So it's probably going to be anywhere between $75,000 and $100,000. Okay. I make about $50,000 right now. I work three jobs and save minimal expenses, so I save a lot of money every month. Okay. It's probably going to be about two years away because I'm in a job contract right now that I can't break before I can start school.

I love you planning ahead, Sam. You're making my whole heart feel good, man. Good for you. I have a question that you may not like, but it's a good question. Why? Yeah, I've always wanted. I'm an EMT right now, and I've always wanted to do. I thought I wanted to be a doctor and then I really started looking at

what physician assistants do and looking at some of the community oriented programs that they're a part of. Um, and I've always wanted to be one of those community, um, doctors, you know, that run that like works in the small town clinic that gets to serve everyone from, you know, the new baby to the elderly. I just love that idea. I love it. I love it. I love it. So you'll go from 55 to what's your income ballpark around that once you finish school?

I do some research. Any, like, starting now, probably 85 to 80 to 90, depending on where I get a job. And then from there, you know, upwards, it just depends on where you work and what you do. Cool. Great. Great. Well, here's a good thing, Sam. You're out of debt.

You got your fully funded emergency fund. I would definitely say go ahead and start on baby step four, start investing. But because you're looking at school within the next two years, no, do not put into a 529. I'll just put into a money market account, um, and just park it there. So that way you can have access to it because this is not a longterm. We're not looking at something five years plus. If you're looking at something five years plus, I would say just put in a regular mutual

fund. Uh, but since it's shorter than that, just go ahead and just park it into your money market account. And from there you'll be all right. Okay. All right. Thank you. You're, and from there, you'll be all right. Okay? All right. Thank you. You're awesome.

Good luck, Sam. I like that. I really do like that. Good luck, Sam. Ruchi is with us in Washington, D.C. Good afternoon, Ruchi. How can Dr. D and I help? Hi.

Thanks for taking my call. Yeah. So I have a question. My husband and I, we are fortunate that we don't have any debt besides our mortgage. However, we do have a liability in the sense that we financially support my husband's parents who live abroad. We send about, on average, about $800 a month for their living expenses. And, you know, if there was any sort of medical emergency or something, any other emergency, we would also cover that. So my question to you is, in what step or how would you consider this particular, you know, quote unquote liability within the baby step?

And then outside of that monthly expense that we send, we're having a hard time quantifying, you know, what sort of emergency may come up. And so how would you look at that? How would you quantify it? And then where do you put this in the daily step? And how do we approach that? That's a good question. And I love it too. So how old are they?

So there's three of them. It's his mother, father, and an aunt. And they're all above 70 years old. Y'all are helping provide for the mother, the father, and his aunt? Yeah, so they're in India, right? So they grew up in a joint family. So the three of them operated as the parents. All right. So, all right, as like the parent. So, all right. So, all right.

Sounds good. So right now, what baby step are you on? So we, as I said, we don't have any debt. We save for our retirement. We save for our child's college expense. How much money do you have in your emergency fund? It's fully funded for about like four to six months. Okay, four to six months.

All right, so here's what I'm going to recommend. I'm not going to get into the whole mom, father, aunt thing. I think if you're sending them $800 right now and that's helping them out, I would just definitely say just go ahead and put another three months of $800 so what's that $2,400 just extra

on top of your emergency fund so that way if something does happen to them you have that extra money that does not impact you or your family if you have to send them $2,400 for an emergency and that $800 just becomes a I mean you just budget for it Or your family if you have to send them $2,400 for an emergency.

And that $800 just becomes a – I mean, you just budget for it. It's not really a baby step as much as a budget item, right? Yeah, it's just a budget item. It's not debt. But it is something that, hey, if something does happen to them next month, you may need to send more than $800. And so I would definitely tell them, like, hey, the most we can do is $800 a month. And you all know the most we can do in one lump sum is $2,400. But here's the thing, Ruchi. I want to make sure that you and your husband do not.

I don't want to sound rude here, but I just want to make sure that your family is your priority and that everything is OK there. They come after your home. Okay? Help where you can, but make sure you're not pulling away from your actual house. That's just my two cents on that.

Am I missing anything there, John? There's some cultural implications there that are hard for every family, but I think it's just being practical with here's what we can do. Right.

And we're going to be smart both in the short term and the long term with savings plans. Sounds good. Well, America, that's a wrap for this first hour. Thank you, James Child.

Thank you, Madison. And, hey, this is The Ramsey Show. Hey, it's Kelly, associate producer and phone screener for The Ramsey Show. If you would like to do your debt-free scream live on the show, make sure you visit DaveRamsey.com slash show and register. We would love for you to come to Nashville and tell your story.