The Ramsey Show - App - My Family Is Getting Jealous of My Success (Hour 1)

Episode Date: March 19, 2020

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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Thank you for joining us. Open phones at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. Stephanie is on the line starting off this hour in Minneapolis. Hi, Stephanie.

How are you? Hi, Dave. Thanks for taking our questions today. Sure. What's up? So I have a question about how to navigate family relationships when you start making, like, good money. So my husband and I's business went from zero to about gross 220 in about a year and a half. It's going really well.

The trajectory is up, and it's awesome. But I've already started getting some weird comments from my family. So over that time when we started making some money, I was pregnant. We upgraded to a tuft and needle mattress and just like a little thing like that. Or we joined a nice gym in the area and we get these comments like, oh, money bags over here, us making a lot of money. And I think when we joined the gym, it was, you must win the lottery to afford that kind of stuff. And so it's just been weird.

And with the trajectory of our business going up and making more money, getting to live the life that we want to, vacations and things eventually, I just don't know how to navigate what we already have is a really good relationship with my family but it's starting to get a little weird holidays and stuff when we when we tell them what's going on so yeah just don't know how to do that well um a good relationship number one if you have a good relationship and someone says something that um is hurtful you ought to be able to say that yeah say you know um you know i know you probably didn't mean anything by that but when you said that it was like you were questioning whether we should be successful and kind of hurt my feelings i just need to say that to you yeah so if you have a good relationship

you can do that if they're just jerks yeah then you would just have to treat them like jerks. And the thing is, what happens is this. Money doesn't cause things. Money magnifies things that are already there, good things and bad things. If you have a high, high-quality relationship, highly functional, it will become even more so with large sums of money around. If you have weak and petty relationships that everyone acts like is okay, but on the surface it's not, then that will be magnified as you have wealth.

If your daddy is proud of you, when you get wealth, he will be very, very proud of you. Yeah. But if your daddy is a drunk and is dysfunctional and takes his and has to be king of the hill or he can't be in a conversation because he's screwed in the head and all of a sudden he can't be king of the hill because your net worth's eight times his. Then your daddy is going to get worse. You know? Yeah. You see what I'm saying?

So that's what you watch for. And I'd pick up Henry Cloud's book, Boundaries, because that's what this is. It's a boundary issue. And read through it. You'll enjoy it and it can be with functional things as simple as you know one of the things we've been very very careful to do with extended family is just not to we just don't talk about a lot of stuff that sharon and i'll talk about it we'll say well i don't know if so and so can really grasp that, so we're just probably not even going to bring that up.

Yeah. You know. Yeah, and I know we've talked about that with extended family or friends or things like that. Yeah, friendships. Friendships is the same way. I've got friends that can't emotionally grasp some of the things that we're able to do for charity, for ministries.

You know, I can remember the first time I gave $1,000 to something, and I can also remember the first time I gave $100,000 to something. But, you know, you and I can talk about that now in front of everybody, but it's sometimes very awkward with a friend of 20 years ago, you know? And so I just have to be pretty calm and go you know that's uh uh talk about them more and me less and uh most people like that anyway that's just good conversational manners and uh in other words i might not if you went on a super super nice cruise you don't have to tell everybody you're not going for them you're going for you yeah and if you are going for them you shouldn't be going right yeah so you know just uh and and i quit buying cars for other people i got really nice

cars but you know why because i like driving them and i don't really care whether you like it or not i like driving it that's why i got it i can't do with you you know and so yeah but you know occasionally you get a comment about a car, and it's like, well, it must be nice, you know? Hope you can remember the little people. I'm like, oh, jeez, you know, where are you a spine, really? Man, I grew up little people. I've been little people my whole life.

I'm just a little people that got big. That's all it is. So just chill your butt, you know? But, you know, that's what runs through your head but you can't say that out loud yeah so i i will tell you that there is a certain amount of awkwardness and weirdness that goes with the territory but the same thing happens in any area of your life that you grow let's say you came from a home that was not that didn't have a faith and you became a a very strong person of faith and you grow in that area well you're going to get eye rolls

over that too right you know how's it going over there they handle snakes you know you're going to get people how's the cult operating nowadays you know you're going to get these snide things from old friends and family that were not there when you were that different person but you've changed a lot now you know and there's it's just envy and jealousy and they're two of the two of the devil's work tools and um and they are different and it's interesting to study them. It's a good discussion. So thank you for letting me get up on a soapbox. But, you know, jealousy is I'd like to have what you have and that's saying something like must be nice and you kind of mean it.

Like I'd really like to have that. I'd like to have gone on that trip or bought that house or whatever. Envy is I don't think I can ever have that, so I don't want you to have it either it should be taken away from you and that's envy and you see both of these things pop up in the political landscape these days with the whole wealth inequality argument and that kind of thing you know the evil rich people see that that's straight up uh jealousy that's really envy because they shouldn't have that because i don't think i

can ever have it and and that's the that's the same thing but you just watch for that stuff and then you can address it or you can choose to say i'm going to limit my conversations about those kinds of things worst case is that the person is toxic enough old friend or family that they have to you have to distance yourself from them because they're never going to accept that you're winning and you not winning to please them is an absurd idea. Yeah. You can't go, oh, I'm going to fail at business

because Bobby is going to be upset if I win. Well, screw Bobby. Right. You know what I mean? Bobby's just going to have to take a ride, you know? It's crazy. Right. You can't do that.

So there's a Bobby in the booth, and they're all laughing at him in there. No, not you, Bobby. Different Bobby. Oh, my gosh. All right. Hey, good discussion. It's one of the things that happens when you win at anything, but it definitely happens when you win at money. This is the Dave Ramsey Show.

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Check out the promo code RAMSEY at Blinds.com. Moesha is in Hawaii. She says, I'm 21 years old. My husband's in the military. The only debt we have is our car, which is $24,000 left to pay. Both want to get rid of it, but we don't know what steps to take to make that happen. We have a used car as well that we paid for in cash, but it's not as reliable. What do you recommend?

I recommend you get rid of it. I don't know what your income is, but I'm going to guess at 21 in the military, you're not making a pile of money. Could be wrong. And that $24, 000 is probably eating your lunch so yeah i'm getting rid of that thing the steps you do to get rid of it is you have to find out what it is worth in terms of if you were to sell it for instance on craigslist that's called a private party sale you go to um just go on the internet and look at a private party sale,

and you can figure out what the car is worth. And let's pretend it's worth $20,000 and you owe $24,000, which would probably be close to right, which means you're upside down. You're in the hole $4,000. In order to sell it, you have to be able to get the title from the bank. They're not going to give you the title unless you pay them $24,000. You're only going to get $20,000 from your buyer, so you have to have the other $4,000 figured out. And that means you have to either borrow that money from your local credit union or work

extra and save up the $4,000 in order to do that. But my guess is that this car was a huge, stupid mistake, and it's probably hammering you. You're probably hemorrhaging money right now. So I could be wrong, but I'm not. So, you know, you do need to get rid of it, and you're going to have to go borrow the money, even if you put the other $4,000 on a credit card. Dave Ramsey said use a credit card. No, Dave Ramsey said you're already $24,000 in debt.

When you sell the car, you're $4,000 in debt. I think we're going in the right direction here, people. So you move that debt onto something else and get rid of this car. But you've got to cover the amount that you're in the hole, the amount you're upside down in order to make the transaction work. Tamara is with us in New York City. Hi, Tamara. How are you?

Hi, Dave. I'm okay. I was calling because for the last two years, I've just found myself in a lot of debt. Before that, I was, like, I think, good at saving and managing myself. What happened? I had two kids in college at the same time, and they didn't follow my advice they picked very expensive schools one of them got some scholarships and the other one didn't get any and you supported their bad decisions and i had to support no you didn't have to you chose to okay yes but then

now i i have like credit card debt because i I charged them their tuition on my credit card. Yeah, on a school that they couldn't afford. Yeah. Okay. Yes. So is this over? Are they out of school? Well, no.

I just told my son because he wasn't giving me his grades and stuff like that. I told him I'm not going to support your school if that's how you're going to behave. Okay. your school if that's how you're going to behave correct and then my daughter she feels like because she gets at least like 60 to 70 percent of scholarships for her school that like you know the father and i should split and pay the rest oh so she gets to tell you how you're supposed to do with your money this is a bright kid very manipulative no she shouldn't get to tell you anything title this new generation is very entitled no your daughter is very entitled yes yeah okay um but i just i don't like debt and i don't like the financial situation i'm in

and i have like old emergency fund but it's like every month it's like i find myself taking a thousand dollars from it so it was like about 25 000 now it's about 17 and i have about 40 000 of debt so i was wondering if i just take that emergency fund pay it down and just snowball the rest of them and start over yes ma'am yes if and only if you learn a new word you ready for the word no that's the word no can you use that word okay yes i'm trying no i'm not you don't try you have to do it because here's the thing if you don't stop this the titanic is going to go down you you can you can stick your finger in one little hole but it's it's hemorrhaging on the other end the The thing's just bleeding water. I mean, it's just everywhere. So, you know, your daughter is going to go to a school in a place that you agree with because you can afford to support it.

Or she gets nothing. And the same with your son. It has to fit your budget. Or the answer is no, you don't get anything. They don't get to tell you what to do with your money. It is not child abuse to not support your children's stupid decisions. That's not child abuse. You're not a bad mom.

And I don't care if she's 20 and she stomps her foot and her little lip sticks out and she has a little fiat. Oh, bless her little heart. I couldn't give a crap less. You don't get to make decisions with my money. And when you make decisions that I approve of, then you have a shot at me financing them. But I am not paying for you to make decisions that I do not approve of now why do i not approve of them two reasons one is it's a bad decision and i'm smarter than you because i'm older than you and i have this thing called wisdom and experience the second reason is it's my freaking money so i get to decide where it goes to i don't have to put up with you 20 year olds

telling me where my money's gonna go and so you've got to reset your parenting with her and you can do that gently and kindly you're a gentler kinder person than i am by nature i'm a little more in your face and you're you're sweet but you can still be sweet and still say no because it doesn't fit your budget. She doesn't get to tell you where your money goes, and you're not going to endorse with your checkbook her bad behaviors and her bad decisions. These are three reasons. Sorry to interrupt, but one other thing is that a company that is pitching to me

for my student loan debt, which I didn't include that in the debt. It's like they can help me discharge the debt, but pay them a fee. No? No, there's no such thing as discharging student loan debts unless you're permanently disabled and you're on SSI or you're dead. These are the only two ways that student loan debts get discharged. That's a scam company. You need to stay away from them.

If it's a traditional federally insured Sally Mae loan, that's the answer to that. So, yeah, you've got to say no. You've got to put some boundaries around your life and your money, and then you know how to manage money. You just have chosen not to because these kids have been running your life instead of you running your life. And I'm sorry that you got there, but that's exactly what you described to me. And you can get out of this. Yes. In that case, if you will stop the bleeding,

stop the giving money to people that you can't afford to give because they're making decisions you can't afford to support. Then yes, you would use your emergency fund. And yes, you'd get on a tight budget. And yes, you would snowball your way right through this. And you can do all of that. You really can. You know exactly what to do. You've just got to go do it now. It's very hard, though, to tell your kids no.

It's very hard to tell people that you love no, even if they're being stupid. And it's just hard. I mean, every one of you have got a relative. I have relatives. You look at them and you go, that was stupid. And you don't say it out loud, but you're just looking at them going, you're stupid. And, you know, and if they come to you asking for you to support stupid,

you're not loving them by supporting their stupid. You're actually participating in something that's bringing harm to them. So I'm not going to finance something that brings harm to people that I love. Why would I do that? I love them. That's tough love. No, darling, it's just real love. Love that supports something that's damaging to someone you love is not love.

That's called codependency. It's different than love. Way different than love. It's a toxic form of relationships. All of us have some of it at one time or another in our lives. But, boy, it sure does get over into the money stuff. Ooh, man, oh, man. There you go. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. We've been voted one of the best places to work in Nashville 11 times.

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Angie is with us in Charlotte, North Carolina. Hi, Angie. How are you? I'm good. Thank you. Thank you for taking my call and giving me the opportunity to ask you a question. My question is, we are on baby step three. And the last thing we have for our debt is our house, and I have a few lingering old hospital bills.

Then you're not on baby step three. Well, that's technically no. I'm trying to work that out, though. My husband tells me that you say we should only pay 25 cents per dollar and I'm trying to work with the debtors to pay them. I only have one of them who are willing to drop it at all and they're willing to take off 40% and I'm only looking at a total of about $3,800. So I don't know if we should do that. My husband tells me, no, that you say that we should be able to work it out with them to get it 25 cents per dollar. And I have been working with them. How old are the debts? They're about four years old. Are you paying payments on them? No, we only literally just started getting our like bills and life together within the last

year so good for you okay all right 3,800 bucks and what's your household income um monthly it's about 6,500 and our debt or our allowances that we pay out in food and bills and things like that's about 3,700 gotcha okay all right um i would take the 40% one. How big of one is that? That one is a total of about $2,000. Okay. So that gets a half of it gone, right? Yes. Yeah, and then just get in writing the actual balance on the others and just pay them.

Well, see, that was going to be my other question. They refuse to do that. Then they get no money. They will not give. Then they get no money. Okay. question they refuse to do that then they get no money then they get no money because they're they're playing you and they're going to come back for more late fees and interest on top of what they what you think you owe i gotcha so okay so that was the debate me and my husband were having

he said no if he wants to if he wants to get all involved in this, it probably would be helpful. Okay. Because I want him to get nasty with them. Okay. You have got to be kidding me. Do you idiots want money or not? If you want money, I'm standing here with money, but I have to have it in writing, or I'm not giving you a dime because I think you're lying because your mouth is moving. Okay, because literally this is what the guy tells me. He goes, well, we do not send out letters.

We do not send out emails. We don't care if you pay your bill or not because it's on your credit. It's your debt. And I'm thinking, okay, well, consciously I feel bad owing this money. You know, and like I said, we've changed everything. You know what, I don't care if I pay it either. Let me talk to your supervisor because you're too stupid to talk to okay this is how i mean you you're not dealing with intelligent life

you're talking to a collector who just told you he doesn't care if you pay your bill horse crap yeah that's you know that's just dumb and just say it you know just that that's a dumb but statement do you think i'm gonna fall for that let me talk to your supervisor you're too stupid to work this out a simple email from one of you morons and i will send you a check and you'll have this cleared up and i'll have it cleared up isn't it your job to collect a bill are you too stupid and trifling to do your job you i'm sorry people that are listening out there that are nice people they don't understand but you've not been dealing with intelligent life the people you're talking to his parents are cousins right well obviously but hey thank you on that and i want to say one more thing and

that other thing is that literally in the last year that we've started doing this. Like, things have done such a 160-degree turnaround for us. Love it. Everything, like, we just, we appreciate the program, and it's working so well for us. Thank you. Thank you very much. Listen, look at this conversation as a game. So the stuff that I'm doing right there, it's psychological warfare.

They're just messing with you. And here's the problem. If you send them a $250 check on a four-year-old medical bill that you think is $250, they're going to send you a bill for another $208 in late fees. Okay. If you don't have it in writing that this is the actual balance. Gotcha. Okay, so I will do that and not pay them until I get a letter.

Yeah, and and just you know and call them once a month and go say you idiots ready for money okay you know just start the conversation that way because everybody i've talked to over there's a fool so far are you a fool you work there you must be a fool because everybody else that works there's a fool so just just mess with them because that's what they're doing with you, and I'm telling you they're playing you, and you will pull the thread on this sweater forever if you don't get it in writing and tie them down. You can tell they're lying if their mouth is moving.

Daniel is with us in Dallas. Hi, Daniel. How are you? I'm good, sir. How are you doing? Better than I deserve. What's up? Hey, so my wife and I are somewhere in between two days to two weeks from Friday being out of Baby Step 2.

Yay! Yeah, so we'll call back and do our stream then. So I'll be really excited just calling then. So my question is, we've been really going gazelle intense. We paid off about, once we're done, we'll be at about $67 thousand dollars in about two and a half years way to go man congratulations yeah it's been really good um and then i guess my question is we've both been working second job so when is when does dave ramsey give permission for us to rest and quit our second job but dude you're an adult and now you're a successful adult you get to decide things okay

you don't need dave ramsey's permission to do squat so i mean your permission has worked really well for us i figured i asked one more time yeah i mean you're you guys have been working 80 hours 90 hours a week hadn't you um you know something like that i mean for she's probably working a little bit more she gets overtime i'm a city worker and get comp time, so I don't get that benefit. But we've probably been working about 50 hours a week, each of us. Yeah, something like that. Okay. So 20 hours on top of our regular job.

Listen, it's a math thing, right? When the debt is gone and you're working baby step three, how fast do you want to build your emergency fund? For sure you quit the second jobs after baby step three yes a hundred percent okay the only question is how fast do you want to build baby step three if you want to build it a little bit slower because you quit the second jobs ding ding to go ahead yeah it probably only makes about a month difference uh you know so i mean we're looking probably about like four months to build up our baby steps uh maybe with and you've been going and you've been going like a crazy people for two and a half years and you got your debt

paid off so if you want to take an extra month to build that oh well that's fine awesome or if you get close and she could pick up some ot that last month and go after it again for a little bit. I mean, the good news is OT, it's not like you have to quit the job. You just say, I don't want OT or I do want it. Yeah, I do. She loves working the overtime. The second job is the thing that's like, you know, we're ready to start spending time with the family a little bit more. It's me and her, but, you know, we want to take advantage of it.

Yeah, I mean, that could be your reward. That could be part of your debt-free celebration. You know, I quit. Awesome. Yes, yes. But you make the adult decision. You're making the decision. How quick does it get? If it makes a one-month difference, I'm with you.

I'd probably quit. I'm kind of right there. So, you know, that's the deal. Hey, thanks for the call. Open phones at 888-825-5225. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. We're glad you're with us. Dave, I've got a small 401K from a past job.

What should I do with it? Well, you always roll a 401K when you leave your job to the next job. Or, I'm sorry, to a... What what am i thinking my brain's not working okay when you leave your work you always take your retirement with you if you can enroll it direct transfer into an ira and we always select four types of growth stock mutual funds growth growth and income, aggressive growth, and international. That's the process. So get in touch with SmartVestor Pro and roll it over to a good mutual fund into a direct transfer IRA, a traditional IRA, not a Roth.

There's no taxes on that at all. Later, you can convert that to a Roth if you would like to. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. Thank you. Syracuse, New York. Melinda's calling. Hi, Melinda. How are you? Hi, Dave. I'm honored to talk to you.

I just had a question. I'm worried that I'm the tightwad, but just because I'm listening to you. Okay. My husband and I are having a hard time. I think I want to go really, really, really fast, and I feel like he's just a weight pulling me. And I'm willing to get two or three jobs, and he's starting a weight pulling me um and i'm i'm like willing to get two or three jobs and he's starting to get upset he's like don't do that you need to be home with the family um hoping you could advise me okay uh so he's willing to go on the journey it's the speed of the journey

yes and it's killing me. Obviously not, literally. I understand. So how much debt have you all got? $29,000. It's all student loans now. $29,000, Sally Mae. And what's your household income? $80,000, but I just changed jobs where I don't work over the summer.

But I'm guessing it should be about the same. Okay. What do you do for a living? I'm a mental health counselor. Okay. And so can you do some freelance of that over the summer since you're not working? I've looked into it. I talked to another coworker, and they are.

But right now I'm a military family life counselor, and I wouldn't be able to do it in this area because they don't want people to see me as that role and then doing another job, if that makes sense. Sure, sure. Okay. I have the job come next school year. But I was going to get like a truck driving CDL, and that schooling would take up the entire summer,

and I was thinking I could work on weekends. Mental health counselor and truck driver. Yeah. That doesn't sound like that goes together to me. What am I missing? But it pays well. Oh, that's all it is. Okay.

All right. Again, what's your household income again overall? Your overall household income again? $80,000. I'm still in the Army Reserves. Okay. How old are you guys? I am 35. He's 36. Okay. All right.

And so you just started this get-out-of-debt journey, and the two of you are sitting down doing a budget together, right? We took your Financial Peace University class three years ago, and then when I had the job change, I'm like, we're not doing a budget. We don't know where this money is going. What do you mean? We should have like $2,000 extra. So you took the class and you didn't implement it at the time?

Not the budget, no. Other stuff is amazing, like my Roth did 22 last year. Okay. So you're putting money into a Roth. No, I'm not putting anything in. Oh, it's just what it did. Okay. It's just what it did by itself.

Okay. All right. Well, I think what you'd probably do is go all right i get honey that this is you talking to your husband i get that you don't want me gone all the time working six jobs okay but um i i'm really on fire for us getting rid of this debt and moving our family forward so we are i i i can slow that down a little bit. I can slow down some of my intensity to meet you, but you've got to meet me where we actually start doing the budget. And we actually sit down once a month, once a week,

and go over where the money's going and that we are going to work these baby steps. And if we're doing that and the only question is how fast we work them then i'll i will give you i will give on that point but i can't not do this stuff after going through this class it's changed the way i look at it and i want this debt paid off and i i think you know that's a fair thing for you to ask him to do, and I don't think it's a hard thing. I think he'll do that, don't you? He will, and we are. He still wants to go on vacation.

No, we don't have any money. No, no. You're not working the baby steps if you're going on vacation when you have $29,000 in a student loan debt. Yeah, he's willing to do a budget, but he still wants to do fun things. All right. We're doing a budget, but we're not sacrificing to get out of debt. That's a problem.

That's different than you working all the time. Okay? Okay. So, you know, basically, where you're not in agreement is not about you working all the time. Where you're not in agreement is he's not really wanting to follow the plan that you learned in financial peace university right he still wants to go out and live and not be and and go buy a bunch of crap you can't afford and continue to be and so he wants to do you know financial peace ish yeah his are more vacations and like doing going camping or yeah and so so somehow he missed the part about living like no one else so later you can live like no one else.

And so that's where you guys have got to spend some time dreaming again and go, you know, we can't spend everything, and we're acting like normal people again. And if we spend everything on fun, then children do what feels good adults devise a plan and follow it and um that now that's a reasonable thing for you to be fired up about you wanting to work 60 16 jobs and go be a truck driver when you're a mental health counselor is a little weird so i'm with him on that I'll take his side on that. And the problem is if you do all that stuff and he's still Mr. Fun,

all you're doing is buying fun with all that work, and that's not going to work. So you guys need to get on the same page as far as what your goals are and what we're willing to do to hit those goals. And then you've got to decide, you know, are you going to work the stuff you learned in financial peace or not the answer before was no you weren't and then the question is are you willing to read to you know you may want to go back through the class wouldn't hurt you jennifer is in chicago hi jennifer how are you good how are you d Good. How are you, Dave? Better than I deserve. What's up? So my husband has been on a leave of absence since July with, I'm so sorry, with no short-term disability payments except for six weeks of it. So we fell behind on a bunch of our stuff.

And we have a bunch of it all kinds of stupid everywhere so um as of as of actually in january i kind of flipped my lid a little bit and so as of two one we are on a budget and we are following the baby steps and we're in baby step two so we have a 5400 are you current coming you're current with everybody now we are not that's where i'm going next. We have a $5,400 tax return coming, and that's because of him being off work. It was totally not. We didn't expect. We actually thought we'd have to pay. So now we have all this coming in.

And, of course, I know traditionally you apply it to the smallest to the largest, but I'm wondering if we shouldn't be using at least part of that to try to settle some of our charged-off stuff. Mm-hmm. How is he doing? Is he going to be going back to work? How's he doing? No, he's, no. I'm not sure when.

He has tried three times, and it sets him back every time. What happened to him? It's anxiety and depression. And he's in treatment. He sees a counselor, and he goes to his doctor every other week, and he's just not been able to get over the hump. He's actually kind of relapsing right now. So is your monthly operations of your household going in the hole every month?

Not now that I have a budget. Okay. Now, let me say that. We're also not paying everything. Okay. So you can't pay all your bills without him working? We cannot. No.

Sorry. Okay. All right. No, I would not use this money for anything except an emergency fund because you are right square in the middle of an emergency. Stop your baby steps. Okay. Stop temporarily.

First thing we've got to do is get your budget balanced and get your income to match your outgo. That's your first goal before you do anything else. And in the meantime, you need this money to eat and to keep the wolf away from the door. And I really don't care if you get behind on stuff like credit cards or student loans right now. What I care about is I don't want you behind on your house or your lights.

We are not. All of that is, that's number one priority. I want you to take care of the four walls. I'm so sorry. The four walls, food, shelter, clothing, transportation, and utilities. I want you to take care of those things. Pretty much anything else, I mean, your car payment and your house payment or house rent and food and lights,

everything else can kind of hold up if you need to until you get him until he gets back on his feet and can get an income and get this balanced again. But I wouldn't try to work the baby steps until you get your income to match your outcome. That's your first goal. Sorry you're facing this, kiddo. Call me if I can help further. Hey, guys, this is James Childs, producer of The Dave Ramsey Show.

I'm excited to announce that we're now carried on 600 radio stations across the country. To find one near you, head to DaveRamsey.com slash show.