The Ramsey Show - App - My Family Keeps Asking Me for Money…How Can I Set Boundaries? (Hour 3)

Episode Date: November 30, 2021

Relationships, Home Buying, Debt, Education   As heard on this episode: Sign Up for a FREE trial of Ramsey+ TODAY: https://bit.ly/3rZTUAx Tools to get you started:  Debt Calculator: https://bit.ly/2Q64HME Insurance Coverage Checkup: https://bit.ly/3sXwUn5 Complete Guide to Budgeting: https://bit.ly/3utmVXi Check out more Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3fHhbVE  

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Thank you for joining us, America. We're glad you're here. Open phones at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. Brian is with us in Atlanta, Georgia, to start off this hour.

Hey, Brian, how are you? Doing well. How about you, Dave? Better than I deserve. What's up? Perfect. Okay, so just a short background. I have come from a poor family, poor mindset financially and everything. And as I've gotten older, I have, you know, I didn't follow in those footsteps. I mean, I'm debt-free, married, and, you know, I like to maintain healthy boundaries. And I'm a small business owner, and my income has risen drastically over, know the past few years congratulations and my

yeah what do you make uh um well right now we're about around 25 000 a month good for you man well done yeah so um and my family on the other you know, they still do their thing. And my wife, her family's not, you know, they do well, so they're not like this either. So we don't get it from both sides. But I guess what I'm asking is what is the – when you're starting to come – like, I feel weird just even saying that just because pal is raised um and i want to make sure that we are the i don't mind helping my family but whenever they smell like i don't know uh like i just bought a house almost in cash like we we're going to pay it off in like a year. Um, but they, they have controversy, they have emergencies and, you know, like they make decisions that

cause them to be where they're at and I don't like to enable them. And so they like to put me on guilt trips and things like that. And, you know, especially since I've been married, you know, if money's involved, you know, I tell them that, well, my wife has to be involved in these conversations and you're going to ask me for money. And then I don't really care for that because they don't practice boundaries. Okay, so who's asked you for money? I mean, my mother does on a very regular basis. Is she single?

She's single. She's on disability, but she's allowed to work 20 hours a week, and that's what I encourage her to do. And how much money have you given her? Well, Dave, I haven't given her money in several years. When I was younger, in my teens and early 20s, I'm 34 now, I used to give her money all the time. Okay, so when you stopped giving her money, it was how long ago?

About 2015. Okay, so it's been six years since you gave her any money and she still asks she'll still ask oh my my mother's very relentless with things and then recently my brother's coming through some hard times and he'll ask and you know i we've given him small amounts but you know again discuss with my wife. What's a small amount? Like $400, $1,000. Okay. And so what prompted this call? Who asked you recently?

Well, my mom is trying to move back to this area where I'm from and she's done everything, but like it's all fit over the fact that I won't like pay for her move and get her here. You know, you know what I mean? Just, just make it happen for her. And the thing is, is I've given her money in the past and she's, you know, I've put her in a house before and she literally burnt it to the ground um oh you know years ago and so like i i think she's healthier now in terms of like she her addictions are no longer in control of her life but i

definitely don't want to um okay let's let's stop a minute all right what i'm going to do when we hang up i'm going to send you a copy of my friend dr henry cloud's book boundaries it is the absolute bible on this issue um it is the best book and he sold 10 million copies and i love my copy it has helped me with so many things over the last 20 years. And so you want to read that book because you're going to read the first chapter and just be laughing out loud and go, how did this guy know? Because he's going to, like, read your mail. Okay? under a moral obligation to give anyone money except your own spouse and children who are minors that live in your home you're supposed to take care of them but your brother and your mother

you are not under a moral obligation just because you have the same blood that they have. Okay? Yeah. Period. Okay. And no matter how big a fit they throw or no matter what. So now once we've removed that you're not under obligation, then you say, okay, under what circumstances would I want to be generous? Right?

And there's only one circumstance that you want to be generous and that is where you're actually helping someone move through their life and get traction helping someone is not assisting them in continuing their stupidity okay so buying a drunk a drink is enabling it's not helping now the drunk may throw a fit and say you won't buy me my alcohol and if you were a good son you'd buy me my alcohol right and they may say all of that but that doesn't make any of that true agreed agree just because they say it doesn't make it true and so the definition of help if you're not an enabler means the person moves on to the next stage of their personal growth and their life is better as a result of you having assisted and so in our case if it were sh Sharon and I in this kind of a situation, although we've not been in this exact situation,

but the way, for instance, with Ramsey Family Foundation, if we're helping a family or an individual on an ongoing basis, now one time we might buy somebody a truckload of groceries and fill up their cabinets, okay, just so they're not hungry. That's a one-off, though. But if I'm going to assist mom in moving and pay her rent for four months, she's going to produce some fruit in her life that indicates that she's growing into a sustainable life, meaning she's going to get a job and keep it. She's going to be on a budget and keep it. She's going to be on a budget and keep it. She's going to be in Financial Peace University and I'm going to pay for it.

And you're going to get better, Mom. You're going to get better and better and better and better. But I'm not going to pay for you to get worse and worse or stay the same. Because that's not helping. That's enabling. And real love requires that the person have a better life as a result of being intersected with you. You've got a lot on your plate, a job, your home, your marriage, and your growing family. While you're enjoying the present, you can't help but think about your future and your finances. As you explore your options, consider Christian Healthcare

Ministries, or CHM, for your health care. Their generous maternity program and budget-friendly monthly programs have been a blessing to members welcoming children into their families. Visit chministries.org slash budget to see if it's right for you. Christian Healthcare Ministries is a Ramsey-trusted provider. Well, the Christmas countdown is on at Ramsey Solutions. We've been in a Christmas frame of mind for many weeks. We're having a great time handing out free cash as part of our Christmas cash giveaway. Because if you didn't know, giving is the most fun you'll ever have with money. Every year we celebrate Christmas with our Ramsey Show listeners with an awesome tradition,

our Ramsey Christmas Cash Giveaway. This year we're giving away around $500 every week. We've already started that. And a grand prize of $5,000 and you can enter to win every day to increase your chances of winning. No purchase necessary.

RamseySolutions.com slash giveaway. And look, we know you're planning to do a lot of giving, and that's why our team is extending our biggest Cyber Monday sale ever, where you can get up to 79% off. It's the perfect time, perfect price to get kids gifts like the Adventure Pack, our popular starter envelope system ken coleman's career assessment these are the lowest prices of the year get gifts your family and friends and

maybe yourself and you can save up to around 80 off it's pretty cool shop our biggest cyber monday sale yet online store ramsey solutions.com heather's in Chattanooga. Hi, Heather. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi. Hey, what's up? I'm a lot, actually. I have a couple questions. Just trying to make it as quick as I can.

I'm a little bit nervous because it's the first time I've ever called in. That's okay. We've never lost a patient. You'll be okay. Okay. Well, the reason I'm calling is my husband and I are in the process of, or have been in the process of building a custom home. And we hired a really bad contractor,

and the reason being is because our contractor wants us to fire him when our house is about 90% complete. And it's been two years and eight months, and we still have not closed on this house. And when he gave us the price, well, we signed a contract. And on the contract, the price he gave us to build, it was around a 3,100-square-foot home, and the price he gave us was $415,000 to build it. And now we're looking at $625,000. I'm sorry, I thought you had a contract. Do you have a contract at $15 yes and the start date was august on the contract it states august of 2019 and it was supposed to be completed in april of 2020 and here we are and we still have not closed and we should have do you own the have you given this guy money? No. Okay.

And the contract has stated that he... Do you own the lot? Yes, we do. We paid cash. We paid roughly around $32,000 for the lot. So, yes, we did pay for the lot. And in the contract, it states that he would get $60,000, and we have not paid him a penny on that. But the problem we're having is we're paying. We've been paying a construction loan from the beginning, obviously,

and right now we're paying roughly around $2,800 a month on top of having to pay rent for a townhouse that we've lived in. So what have you done in the past 10 months about this? Because this has been going on a long time. Right. We contacted an attorney, and he basically told us that we need to try to close. We're kind of too far into it. We need to close, and we can't close because the fact we we have no more money uh we can't continue

paying this construction loan and the reason why we're you know we found out through his you have a construction loan yes we have so did you give him money out of the construction loan no we have we have a a lender yeah and where did the money go from the construction loan? No. We have a lender. Yeah, and where did the money go from the construction loan? We pay a monthly payment towards our construction loan every month. But is the loan just not been dispersed at all? You shouldn't be paying interest on a construction loan unless the money's been paid out to someone have you been paying bills on this house yes so that what we do is is we what he does is he'll

give us an invoice yeah and uh then we pay okay so you're doing a cost plus you're doing a cost plus arrangement with him where you're paying him a fee for his building services, and you pay all the expenses of the actual materials and labor. Yes, yes. And you've paid for all of that up to now? Yes. Okay. And why have you not just run him off and closed it then?

You already own the house, you own the lot lot and you're already in debt up to your eyeballs why not just turn it into a mortgage and call it a day we have that we can't close on the house though we we went to the um because the the problem is is because we still have electrical the electrical scenes still need to be finished the plumbing and all that we have that's why we're not able to close on the house because he wants to try to fire us. I'm sorry, he wants us to fire him because he doesn't want to come in and finish the work. And so now he's giving us... Have you paid for work that has not been done?

Have we paid for work that has not been done? Yeah, I mean, how do you owe more on this construction loan if the plumbing has not been done? Why did you pay plumbing that hasn't been done? We paid the first portion of the plumbing. Okay, what's the balance on the construction loan today? Right now, it's roughly around $118,000. Okay, on a house that you were supposed to get for $400,000. So are you 50% complete?

We're 90% complete. Wow. But we run into problems where, for example, the people that he's hired to come in, his so-called crew that he just gets wherever, he doesn't come in and check their work. And so we've had issues where our floor has buckled because there was water damage under our house due to him not waterproofing around the perimeter of our home. And so we had to stop and do that. If you fire him, what will it take to finish this deal?

Well, that's my question with you. How much money will it take to get the house done? A little over $100,000. Oh, so you're not even half done. You're not 90% done. Right. Well, the bank came out to see, and they're saying that we're 90 complete that's what they're saying well but yeah but but you're not you're not 90 complete if you need a hundred thousand so somebody's wrong

well the hundred thousand is is because they have to do the rough ends, I guess. Is that what they call it? The rough ends where they come in and they finish out the electrical. And that's the thing is we're not able to finish out. But you haven't drawn the half of your construction loan. You should have more to draw on this construction loan, right? More to draw from this construction loan right more to draw from the construction so the total construction loan should have been 250 300 000 on this deal and it's only 150 so far

that you've drawn against it because that's what your balance is right well when we we met with the bank towards the middle of it, when we found out he basically underbid everything when it comes to electrical and plumbing. So when they came out to actually do the work, it was more than what he bid us for. Like, for example, with the brick and the block. But you only owe $150,000 on the construction loan. You told me this was going to be a $400,000 house, and now it's gone to $600,000. So that means that this house should have been built for $300,000

and some change, which means you should have had a construction loan approved for up to $300,000 to $350,000, and you've only drawn $150,000. You should be able to draw the rest of the construction loan and finish the house with a different builder. Right, but we were too far into that because he had already went in. It's hard to explain.

Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm not tracking with you. I think you've got some of your information sideways, or maybe I'm just not understanding. I wish I could be more help, hon. But it sounds like you're obviously going to have to get another builder. You've got the debt. You've got the real estate. You've got to find a way to finish this project and get rid of him yesterday. In the lobby of Ramsey Solutions on the debt-free stage, Derek and Lauren are with us.

Hey, guys. How are you? Good. How are you? Welcome. Where do you guys live? In Valdez, North Carolina, which is near Morganton. Morganton, North Carolina.

Perfect. Good to have you guys. Yes, sir. Welcome to Nashville. And here to do a debt-free scream, how much have you paid off? $92,000 in four very long years okay works for me and what was your range of income during those four very long years probably about 50 to 60 somewhere around there yeah i'm a teacher and she was a teacher assistant

at one time and then uh changed jobs to working from home okay Okay, cool. What kind of debt was the $92,000? It was half student loans and half credit cards, about split down the middle. Just right there, $45,000, $46,000 each. Okay, cool. So why were the four years long? What happened? I don't know, just kids, moves.

Grind out. Yeah. Yeah, and, you know, on a a teacher's salary you're not bringing in a ton of income and um it was just you just had to put your head down and and persevere i think that was the toughest part of yeah just getting started and finishing it yeah what got you started her uh actually well we originally in 2004 we got married and I bought the original Total Money Makeover book from you. And we tried it and didn't follow through. And then probably about four or five years ago, she was like, hey, we need to get into financial peace.

She listened to your show every day, working from home. So that helped. Yeah. And I was like, that's what I want. That's what I want for christmas and so we took it like the next february and he like i dragged him until about the second class and he's like all right this is awesome yeah because i'm a spender she's the saver so and i didn't realize that at time but financial peace helped to bring that out so okay totally and get it under control absolutely because we have a common goal that's bigger than

whatever i want to buy today yes sir yeah way to go guys all right thank you so the original total money makeover book and then uh the podcast and then financial peace universities of christmas present get you going four years ago that is correct very good very good good for you guys well done okay so you're scratching and clawing and fighting your way through. How many kids you got? We have two. They're here with us today. Okay, good. They're going to do the scream with us.

Did they survive? They did, apparently. They're healthy. Yeah, and it was funny. You know, the kids were home doing virtual school, and I would listen to the podcast, and the debt-free screams was definitely what kind of kept me going and encouraging. And our son, he'd be like, oh, that was lame. And he would rate the other people's debt-free screams was definitely what kind of kept me going and encouraging. And our son, he'd be like, oh, that was lame. And he would rate the other people's debt-free screams.

So he's like, Mommy, when we go, we need to bring it. We've got to have a 10. Got to have a 10 on a scale of 1 to 10. Yeah, that's right. That's right. Good, good. Well, we'll rate you when you're done. Good job, you guys.

Well, this is a long slog. Congratulations. How do you stay with it for four years well really i think kind of the motivation was just the goal of checking things off list and paying one credit card off and then paying one debt off and uh we had like a a little debt thermometer on the fridge and we you know eat dinner as you saw it every day but you know that i think that helped us uh just to stay focused on it. And after so long, it just became habit.

It was honestly, towards the end, fun to do bills because it didn't take an hour and a half. It only took half an hour. And you're just seeing, yes, things that got marked off. It kind of became a game towards the end. It was enjoyable. That's cool. That's cool.

Very cool. Well, you guys gutted it out. That's a long run. Well done. Very well done. Well, you guys gutted it out. That's a long run. Well done. Very well done. What do you tell people the key to getting out of debt is? Get started. Just do it.

You also have to have the accountability. Like, she was my accountability partner. Like, if I'm the spender and she's the saver, doing the envelopes really helped. And instead of as a restriction, it was, you know, your ultimate goal is to get out of debt. And that was kind of the motivation. But, you know, I coach football too. So we teach kids to be disciplined, and I wasn't very disciplined. So I had to have my coach keep me in line and keep me accountable.

And that, I think, helped motivate me to stick with it. But also to do right for her. You know, this partnership and making sure that i'm supporting her so it was a teamwork thing yeah yeah that's a big deal very well done when so when you're going to financial peace university she drags you in there and wanted to go for a christmas present took two classes what happened inside your mind do you think derrick in that second class or around that second class that you went okay wait a wait a minute, we're doing this? I mean, you flipped.

Right. Well, I think just, you know, as a coach, you tell the kids, leave a legacy, and I don't want to leave a legacy of debt and us struggling and us constantly being restricted and not being able to – the freedom, I guess you would say in part with that. But what happened in that class? What did you see that said, I can do this, or we got to do this, or what was it? I remember part of it.

I think it's at the end of the first class. Everyone totals up their total debt and kind of sends it in. And there were six other families, but we were over half the debt of the total debt. It's like, oh, my word. It was embarrassing. This is awful. I guess out of embarrassment, it was like it's like oh man we can't do this anymore it's bad so yeah we're the whole problem that's right yeah so i guess the embarrassment

factor okay that'll do it then it did that'll move your butt i got it yes sir very cool all right well let's bring the kiddos in tell me their their names and ages. All right. We have Landon. He is 12. Uh-huh. And our daughter, Emery, and she's 14. All right. Very cool. Good, good, good. Well, we've got a copy of Baby Steps Millionaires for you, an early release copy.

It comes out in January, but we're going to give you one today. Thank you. Because that's definitely the next chapter in your story, to go on and become Baby Steps Millionaires. You're on your way. You did get the hard part out of the way. Yes, sir. This is the hard part.

The wealth building is easy from here. And we'll give you a copy of the total money makeover as well. You can give it away, pay it forward, get somebody moving this Christmas. And this will be the year that they get their journey started because of you guys. So, well done. So proud of y'all, heroes. Thank you. Thank you.

Well done. Who were your biggest cheerleaders outside of your family? Like our class? Yeah. FPU class? Yeah. Five-foot-piece class. Just having the in-person accountability and people to answer to.

And we had a few people in class that had been through it already. The kids were gone. And now it's like, how do they do the investing side? So. And telling our parents to, you know, just encouraging us along the way. And they helped us out, too. So that always helps, have family support. Oh, yeah. Cook a meal, if nothing else. You know what I mean? Yeah. Oh, my gosh. parents too you know just encouraging us along the way and they they helped us out too um so that always helps have family support oh yeah cook a meal if nothing else you know i mean oh my gosh

it's wonderful yeah sunday afternoon after church go to mama's house there you go i'm in i think i'm going with you next time i bet that's some good cooking right there yes sir all right good stuff good stuff all right from morganton north carolina der, Derek and Lauren and the kids Emery and Landon. $92,000 paid off in four years, making $50,000 to $60,000. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. All right. You count it.

In one, two, three. We're debt-free! Yeah! I think Landon gets a 10. I think that was a 10, Landon. Good job, man. Well done. Oh, that's so fun.

So here's what happens. I mean, how many of you can think back when you were 12 or 14 years old? I can see things pretty clearly. I'm 61. I can see things pretty clearly i'm 61 i can see things pretty clearly in 14 year old dave stuff that happened 12 year old dave i remember that stuff and they'll remember this they made a trip from north carolina to tennessee to celebrate the fact that the family had engaged in a four-year-long journey of transformation. Now, let me just tell you, getting out of $92,000 worth of debt mathematically will change your family tree. But what Emory and Landon have experienced during that time,

and then they experienced this milestone, this celebration, this trip to Nashville, I remember they'll be telling their grandkids i remember back in art 22 art 21 christmas was coming on and we drove to tennessee and did our debt free scream and they'll be 92 years old telling their grandkids this because then they'll be millionaires 10 millionaires telling their kids about the time that their daddy and mama changed their life and changed their family tree. See, that's the definition of a hero. People that take control of their own lives.

They're not arrogant. They're not entitled. They're not waiting on someone in Washington to fix their life. They're not whining. They just put their head down, did the freaking work to get their lives back from the dadgum credit card companies, from dadgum Sally Mae. You got to pay a price to win, mom and boys and girls.

This is how it works. This is how it works. These people right here, they're heroes. This is The Ramsey Show. We'll be right back. Our scripture of the day, Isaiah 40 and 8, The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God stands forever. President John F. Kennedy said, I would rather be accused of breaking precedents than breaking promises. Andrew is with us. Andrew is in Wilmington, North Carolina.

I'm sorry. Hi, Andrew. How are you? I'm great. How are you? I'm great. How are you doing? Better than I deserve. What's up? You said you've never lost a patient. I'm a pretty good runner, and literally it's about to jump out of my chest, so I might be the first one to drop.

I love it. Oh, my gosh. Dave, it is an honor, a privilege, and I'm humbled to be able to talk to you. You too, sir. I've been a fan of you for years, and you are a humongous inspiration to me and my family. Thank you so much for all that you do for so many people. Thank you, sir. I'm very honored.

How can I help today? Well, Dave, I have a question. Me and my wife, just to make it very brief, I'm very honored. How can I help today? Well, Dave, I have a question. Me and my wife, just to make it very brief, I'm 51. She's 47. We have a net worth of between $1.4 and $1.5 million. We don't have any debt. Way to go. Yes, sir.

And we have one child that's in high school who's in ninth grade. We have one child that's in high school, who's in ninth grade. We have one child that's in sixth grade. We've got two 529s for about $85,000 a piece in them. That's part of the 1.4 to 1.5. Wonderful. And my wife makes 75. I make about 105. And I have a dream car out there, and it may not be today, but in the next year or two, it's an Acura TLX Type S.

It's about $55,000. I just came out with it in July. And I've always thought, you know, that's a lot of money, but we have been very blessed and have been financially responsible. If I went out there tomorrow and bought that car, would that be a mistake? No. If I had the money, that's... No. It would not be a mistake. It would be why you've done everything you've done to get to this point.

One of the reasons, it's not the only why. I mean, a car is not your why, but I mean, it's... Yes, sir. So here's the rules that I look at, okay? And you probably – you said you've been listening a long time. You probably heard me say these things, but we'll just reiterate them for the rest of the audience. We tell folks not to buy a brand-new vehicle unless you've got a net worth of a million dollars simply because brand-new cars go down in value very rapidly. And in order to absorb the loss of money, you need to have a lot of money.

That's what it comes down to. And so for someone that has a million and a half dollars to lose $50,000 is not backbreaking. For someone that has $50,000 to lose $50,000 is not back-breaking. For someone that has $50,000 to lose $50,000 is back-breaking. And the number of people that have a negative net worth that go buy a brand-new $55,000 car on car payments, you and I both know them all the time, and then they wonder why they're broke. Because they've got more than their entire net worth tied up in things that are going down in value. In your case, number one, you've got the ability to absorb the loss in value that this car, all cars, will have. So you can afford a new car. You can afford that.

And it's not dumb. It's not out of control. Yes. Now, if you were going to buy a half-million-dollar car, I would question you on it. Because that would be a third of your net worth tied up in something that's going down in value. And half-million-dollar cars go down in value, too. And they're out there. They're around. You can find them.

But that's the thing. The second thing I'd look at, in addition to have you built, you know, amassed over a million dollars in order to buy a brand new car, is anything I'm purchasing, and I always coach high net worth people on this, and Sharon and I use the same rule, is to look at ratios. And the ratio is, okay, a $50,000 car for you is about 3% of your net worth. And so it's like someone that has a $100,000 net worth buying a $3,000 car. Same ratio. Right.

That doesn't sound unwise to me. If you have $100,000 and you spent $3,000 on a car, that would not be unwise to me if you have a hundred thousand dollars and you spent three thousand on a car that would not be unwise right right and if you did it again in six more months it wouldn't be unwise because because the ratio tells us that it's an unimportant amount of money it doesn't change your life you could put fifty five thousand dollars in the fire pit in your backyard gather up some lawn chairs and burn it and it wouldn't change your life other than you'd have an emotional heart attack. But, I mean, the mathematics are your life would not even change one ounce. Right. Well, how do I, I guess the big thing is, too, and I love what you say about looking

from the left to the right. Dave, I'm one of these people who get hamburger in the store and get it ground up and put it in packages just to save it because you can get more in a bulk. And my habits haven't changed, not my income. Me and my wife have been very, very blessed. But I still look at the bottom line of the meal price. Well, you'll probably always do that.

I mean, those of us that came from nothing that built wealth, we're always going to read the menu from right to left. We're going to start at the price and then look at the item. You've got to have a lot of money a long time to break yourself from that. But what you do want to do is you want to practice the muscle. You've practiced the muscle of frugality and of saving and investing and i suspect you're generous you probably built that muscle uh and you also want to practice the muscle of enjoying the money right and so uh you know occasionally sharon and i just make ourselves do

something and say hey this is not even i mean i made this I made more than this while we were sitting here eating this meal, and yet it was an extremely expensive meal. We're going to practice the art of enjoying the meal. I mean, I saw more books on Amazon while I was sitting there that paid more than paid for the meal, right, while I was eating, right? So I'm okay. You know, shut up, Dave. Stop your whining and enjoy the meal.

You know, you tightwad. And you just kind of have to train your brain to do that. And you can tell I've kind of had that internal tape playing like everybody else has, right? But I have to have some way I can work it through and go, this doesn't matter. Shut up and enjoy it. This is why we work so hard is to be able to do this and not to waste money and not to be uh irresponsible but to actually go i can buy an a luxury item a luxury experience and it's why i work so stinking hard and it's just like you and that's what you've done i'm

so proud of you very well done sir my dad my I'll just say this yesterday, but I'm getting emotional. My dad, he lived right at 48 years of age. He died in 1951, so he died back in 94. And my dad was always a, he always, he could go anywhere. He was a farmer. He worked very hard for his money. He worked full time at a particular job besides that. My dad could always, he always had money in the back of his pocket.

And he always, when he wanted to get something, he went there and he bought it. He had cash. And I didn't know about Dave Ramsey by then. I didn't know anything about it. But my dad, with his principles, it just, it was instilled in us. Me and my wife, by God's grace, were able to pay off our house in like eight, eight and a half years. But we, you know, I try every day to, you know, as you said, you know, give some away, you

know, save some and spend some. And you're so right with being balanced. And I don't know, me and my wife have taken money. We've got about half a million. We've converted into the Roth IRA. And a lot of that money is already converted into the Roth, which is going to grow from 51 to however long. And so God has helped us to open our ears and to listen and to pay attention to people like yourself. Well, you've just done a wonderful job, Andrew. Very, very well done.

I'm so proud of you guys. You're classic Baby Steps millionaires. I mean, you've started from nothing, and you just worked and saved and worked and saved and worked and saved. And you've had a good life. You've never gone on vacation. You've never enjoyed anything. But you've just been very intentional and very careful. And the exercise, exercising the enjoyment muscle is one of the muscles we all must learn to use with money as we, you know, the pendulum swings back the other way and we're not broke anymore.

Thank you for your call. It's an honor to talk to you, sir. Appreciate your time. Thanks to James Childs in the booth. Laura filling in for Kelly today. I am Dave Ramsey, your host. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus. Hey, it's Kelly, associate producer and phone screener for The Ramsey Show.

If you would like to do your debt-free scream live on the show, make sure you visit theramseyshow.com and register. We would love for you to come to Nashville and tell Dave your story.