The Ramsey Show - App - My Fiancé Got a Job Offer...Should We Move? (Hour 1)

Episode Date: July 16, 2021

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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studio, this is The Ramsey Show, where America hangs out to have a conversation about your life and your money. I'm Christy Wright, and joining me today is my good friend, Ken Coleman. He's a number one bestselling author, host of The Ken Coleman Show, and career expert. And this is exciting, Ken, because we were just talking before we went live that you and I have not hosted together in a really long time. It's been a long time.

But what I love about this hour that we get to host together is you and I are kindred spirits when it comes to helping people find their purpose. Yes. You do it in the career space. I do it in the business space. And we come together a lot, like entree leadership events and that type of thing. So, America, if you're listening right now and you have a question about your purpose, your career, a job change, maybe some opportunities you have in front of you,

if you're looking for what's next for you, trying to discern what the best decision is, maybe you've got an itch to do something new and you're not sure if that new thing is a business or a career move. Maybe you are in a life transition. Your kids just went to school or they're going off to school for the first time. Maybe you're an empty nester and you're looking for, hey, what's next for me? Give us a call. 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225 that's 888-825-5225 and we are here answering your calls always about

money but today is special because ken and i are experts in the career and business space and we would love to help you figure out what your purpose is and and if you're just struggling you got all these dreams and everything you're talking about you're just like how do i balance it all how do i can't how do i deal with all the spinning plates yeah now i'm the professional plate spinner who doesn't do it well christy could help you and i can commiserate with you the new book available for pre-sale take back your time the guilt-free guide to life balance oh we could take those questions as well you might just tease a little bit of the content in your answers, yes? Yes, totally. Let me do this.

Okay, let's talk about it. Here we go. Where are the guys in the back? Can we zoom in? Can we zoom? Look at this cover. This is gorgeous. There it is.

It's on the bottom of the screen. Look at you right there. Shoes off. Very happy. But I know how frenetic your life actually is because I know your I know your hubs and I know your awesome two boys and that little princess yeah you don't always look like this or feel like that is a large there it is that made me look like that no well you look fat but my point is this is a balanced rested yeah but you know how to get there okay so let's talk about it because

actually I think that that's uh it's such a pain point for people can Ken. Men, women, kids, no kids, it doesn't matter. Everyone struggles with it in different ways. And you make a good point. I'm in the season of littles. You've got three kids, but they're a little older than mine. I'm in the trenches. Yours is insanity right now. And I started seminary three weeks ago, which is like...

Oh, sure. We'll just add that. Just a small thing. So I'm actually living this out while teaching it. But I wanted to bring up something for you. Because I mentioned this before we went live, and I didn't even know if you knew it, but I wanted to bring up something for you because I mentioned this before we went live and I didn't even know if you knew this, but I talk about you in this book. Is it good?

Do you talk about me good? It is good. It is good. But I want to set it up because here's why. The thesis of the whole book is life balance isn't doing everything for an equal amount of time. No. It's about doing the right things at the right time.

Very well said. So you've heard me talk about this at Summit, but one of the things that gets in the way of our ability to be balanced and do the right things at the right time is we do the wrong things. And so when I walk people through this path and building a schedule and so on, I actually make some notes in there. If when you're creating your ideal schedule and you're putting those things that we identified were important to you on your calendar,

you realize you're putting something on your calendar that you do not love, is not important, does not bring you joy, does not give you purpose. Like, let's say your job. Yeah. And you spend 40 hours a week at this thing you hate. You're never going to feel balanced because it doesn't matter if you perfectly micromanage your calendar. If you spend a large portion of your time on something you hate, of course you're not going to feel balanced.

So talk about what you see when you're coaching people and helping people, how their career choice, how their job affects so many other areas of their life because it does. It does. So let's take that question and let's just add one other little nuance. It doesn't have to be a job that you hate, but it also could be a job that is just kind of, eh. It's a J-O-B. It's a J-O-B. You don't hate it, but you have no juice for it. And to answer your question, Christy, here's what happens.

When you spend, let's just say minimum 40 hours a week, but even in a part-time job, that you don't love the work and the work itself doesn't create a result that fires your heart up. So that's passion and mission. When you don't have that, here's what happens. You can't feel anything. Over time, you become a zombie. You don't have any feeling. Your heart gets covered up. You're kind of like sleepwalking.

Sleepwalking through life. You're just like, oh, this is something I've got to do. And this is why Sunday nights are full of depression and anxiety. It's why Monday morning is so difficult for people to get out of bed. So to answer your question, yeah, you don't feel much of anything and you won't feel like you're doing much of anything, which is not true. You're still valuable. It may not be a job that you love. It may not be a job that you even like, but you're still doing something and you matter.

But here's what happens. When we don't see significance in our work, Christy, what happens is the slippery slope is my job doesn't matter to me. That's where it starts. Then it goes into, huh, maybe I don't matter. That's dangerous. Whoa. Yeah. And the reality is you do matter, whether you're working on purpose or not

but that is absolutely a great question and and listen we know this that uh men specifically uh but certainly women too but men big time put so much self-worth into your work and where's that coming from is that misguided no somewhere. Somewhere along the line, every human being, Christy, asks the question, what should I do with my life? Nobody has to teach us that. Just like we don't have to teach toddlers to say no. It just comes right out of them. Where's that come from?

That's right. You and I believe. That's why you're in seminary. Yeah. You're in seminary to dive deeper on this. Yeah. You and I believe that Genesis chapter two makes it pretty clear that the creator of the universe wants us to work.

So I say on the Ken Coleman show, you were created to contribute. If we take the word work out of that sentence, you were created to work. Huh? If I tell you you were created to contribute, people go, that's true. And so there is purpose in your work. There's purpose in your business. So speak to the person that does not believe that work could matter. And what I mean by that is they've worked at J-O-B so long, it's hard for them to believe that something more is possible.

Like, I thought this is what it is. This is just what you do. Speak some hope into them that you could actually go to work and get excited on Monday and love what you do, like you and I do, by the way. I would just take that person, I would say, at some point in your life, whether as a student, a high schooler, a college kid, or maybe in one job, one afternoon, you did a task that you really enjoyed. Yeah. Surely. I hope.

I hope you have. Well, I know that's true. Even if they've never experienced that at work, I can tell you this. Yeah. There was a subject matter in school. Yeah. Something that made them light up. There was an intrinsic motivation there.

And so that's the idea behind mission. When I say results that matter, that's mission. That comes from an intrinsic, I do it because I want to. And the idea is that there's work that we all look forward to. When you and I get a chance to broadcast or speak or write, we look forward to it. There's high emotion in anticipation and then in the middle of it. Then there's high devotion. When we don't feel good, when we're frustrated, we keep doing it. We suffer for it. That's passion. Don't tell me that that doesn't exist for you. It's not true.

If you're saying that, you just haven't tasted it yet. So good. Ken Coleman and I'm Christy Wright. We're taking your calls. 888-825-5225 about career, business, life, and of course, always money. This is The important than ever. While some circumstances can't be controlled, there are items within your budget you can take charge of, such as your health care costs. For nearly 40 years, Christian Health Care Ministries, or CHM, has provided a budget-friendly means of sharing for medical bills when our members need it.

Learn more by visiting chministries.org slash budget. That's chministries.org. I'm Christi Wright. Joining me today is bestselling author and my good friend, Ken Coleman. He is also, in case you didn't know, a career expert. He has a bestselling book called The Proximity Principle. And we are celebrating my new book in presale this week, which is called Take Back Your Time, The Guilt-Free Guide to Life Balance. So we are here for you, America, to answer your calls, whether it's about career decisions,

starting a side business, time management, and as always, money. Give us a call, 888-825-5225, and we're going to go ahead and go to Baltimore with Cindy. Hey, Cindy, how are you? Hi, I'm doing well. How are you? Good. How can Ken and I help today?

So I'm sort of talking to my fiance. He has an opportunity, a job opportunity in California. We currently live in Maryland and we just bought a house a few months ago. So it's a pretty big decision and I'm just sort of looking for some advice. I'm not sure if financially it makes sense. I can work online and keep my job. He'll be making maybe a few thousand more, but not as comparable as the cost of living from Maryland to California. So I guess I'm just

looking for some advice. Well, let's start with where's he leaning on this? It feels like he's leaning toward wanting to do it. Is that true or false? I think that's true, yeah. So why? It's clearly not the $2,000. The current money certainly is not the motivator. What's the motivator for this move? So I think he thinks it'll be more fulfilling, that job, because right now he's in the Air Force and he does his job, but he has an opportunity where he can stay in and go over there and teach what he does.

And I think he would find that a little more fulfilling than what he currently does. Okay. So he's not on the phone calling us. You are. Yeah. And I know you said you want our advice and well, Christy and I never shy of giving advice, but I think there's something deeper here is it truly the money thing because hey we just bought a house which

you know you guys aren't even married yet what's the is there a actual date on the calendar and then is he is concerned about the cost of living as you i mean there's let's go deeper here i want to know where you two aren't on the same page. But first, when are we getting married? May 6th of next year. We've already put the deposit down on the venue. We're doing Tuesday with the caterer next week. Okay. It's coming together.

Is that in Baltimore? Actually in Virginia. In Virginia. It's like a little winery. And how long ago did you buy the house? In May. Okay. It was really recent.

Yeah. No, I get it. Okay. we where are we not on the same page lay it out for christy and i please okay i think i really like living in a house we have a backyard we have a dog we just let him out it's fun to hang out and this is where my family is his family's on the west coast in California, Utah, and Arizona. So I think I would miss being near my family as well as sort of the quality of having a house and a backyard, whereas

over there we could afford an apartment. Yep. Okay. So I'm going to let Christy weigh in in a second. I'm going to tell you real quick because it's pretty simple to me. Okay. This is not a professional decision. The professional decision is easy. If it were a professional decision, I would say, yep, he needs to do it because he absolutely has found something that I think he's pretty passionate about

the way you described it. He wants to go out there and teach. He sees an opportunity for a ladder as well, not just a $2,000 bump, but ultimately a ladder, but really to do the work that he really loves to do. And he can stay in the service, but do something he really enjoys. The professional answer is really easy. This is a relational issue. Here's the deal. His family's on the West Coast, and this is an opportunity for him to pursue work that he loves. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding for him. Your family's still in Baltimore or wherever you are on the East Coast, and you just bought this house, and it's got a nice backyard and all the things. It's a nest for you. You've already fallen in love with this nest. So this is a relationship issue. I do not have a direct

answer. I'll tell you that I think you two have got to come together, and we've got to sit down and go, what's going on here? What's the big picture? We're about to get married in May. That means we come together, and each of us have our own dreams and desires, and they've got to come together, and only in relationship and commitment, and then somebody's sacrificing at different times, and you two have got to figure this out. This is a sit-down, and it's a big picture situation. I'm not going to tell you what you should do because I can't.

Christy? Question, follow up there, Cindy. How far is your family? My family is 20 minutes away. Okay. Are y'all planning to have kids? Have y'all talked about that? Yeah, we have. We were thinking maybe like a year after getting married. Okay. Ken is absolutely right that this is a relationship question because there are implications, a domino effect down the line. For example, if you're the one that has an online job and then you take care of these kids in the future, then to have your mom or dad close by, there's such a ripple effect that will affect you that you guys need to talk through all of those scenarios.

But here's what I like to do, Cindy. I don't like either-or situations where I feel like I have two not great options or two options that nobody feels 100% on. I like to come up with as many options as possible. And I would just challenge you and your spouse to look for something locally that he can do that gives

him more purpose and fulfillment. Because the only place that he can do something with more purpose is not California. That's right. There's ways for him to do what he wants to do closer to where you are now, staying in the home you just bought, close to your family, especially should you have kids in the future and you want to stay there. But Cindy, I want you to stay on the line because we have an awesome live stream event tonight called Money and Marriage

with Dr. John Deloney and our good friend Rachel Cruz. And they are literally talking about these two things. They're talking about money and marriage. And that is what you're calling in for, Cindy. So stay on the line. Kelly will get you a ticket. You and your spouse or fiance watch this

together, and I bet that will give you such great jumping off points for conversations around how to talk about this big decision that you have. Great question. Thanks for calling. All right, we're going to go to Logan, Utah with Aubrey. Hey, Aubrey, how's it going? Good. How are you guys? Good. How can Ken and I help today? So my husband is just getting out of school, and we don't have any debt, and we're on freebie, basically. And I'm trying to – I want to start a side job or business. Talk right into your phone so we can hear you, Aubrey. I'm sorry. I want to start a side job or business

to try and speed up the process for saving up for the house. But we have two young children and I'm concerned about the balance of taking care of the kids but still trying to earn financially. What's the business? So I want to get into being a financial coach with you guys,

take the Ramsey class. Cool. Okay. What are the ages of your kids? Two and a half and seven months. Oh. Little bitty ones. Okay.

Well, Aubrey, I think that's awesome. You definitely can start a side business from home, whether that's being a financial coach or otherwise. The thing that you need to think through if you are not putting your kids in any kind of preschool or childcare, that type of thing at this stage, is how can you accommodate their nap times, their rhythms, their schedule where you work on the business during those times? And I know it's not perfect and ideal, but if you set some goals around that, you say, okay, I'm going to wake up at this time, work on it these hours or work on it during naptime or after they go to bed, then you can carve out some hours in a week to work on it and set some goals around

that. Obviously, if you decide to go the financial coach route, there's going to be some training certification that goes with that as well. But I'll tell you, this challenge of balancing all the things you want to do is exactly why I wrote my new book, Take Back Your Time, The Guilt-Free Guide to Life Balance, because it's not bad to have so many interests. It's just that we need to decide what is right right now. And what's right right now for you might be just taking care of those kids. And what's right right now might be starting a business. But only you can figure that out when you start digging into what your top priorities are. So if you'll stay on the line, again, I will have Kelly get you a pre-order copy of the book. It will ship to you whenever it is actually available on September 14th.

And you'll have a copy of my new book, Take Back Your Time, The Guilt-Free Guide to Life Balance, to help you discern what is right for you right back. I'm Christy Wright and joining me today is Ken Coleman, number one bestselling author, host of The Ken Coleman Show and The Ken Coleman Show is available every weekday on Sirius XM, your local radio station, and wherever you listen to podcasts. I also have a show, The Christy Wright Show, every Tuesday on YouTube. And again, wherever you listen to podcasts, here at Ramsey Solutions, we are all about giving you life transformative tips and information to bring you hope, to help you get control of your money, pursue your purpose, take control of your time, and just have a better life. Ken and I are answering your questions today. 888-825-5225.

We are here for you. So if you have a question about your career, a job change, a side business, small business, leadership, time management, and of course, always money. And it's amazing how money affects all of those things. And time does as well. In fact, give us a call. That's 888-825-5225. And we will take your call. We're going to go to Charlotte, North Carolina, with Tom.

Hey, Tom, how are you? Hey, Christy, hold on. Let me get you off the speaker. Okay. Okay, there you go. So I called Ken about a month and a half ago. And, Ken, I don't know if you remember, I'm visually impaired and getting ready to make a move to Ohio.

And so I had, when you and I talked, I talked about taking some business courses. And you told me I needed to get a lot clearer. So in the process of that, I'm working with a real estate agent in the area who I don't feel understands my needs as a visually impaired person. My car payment has been and always will be $0 a month since I don't own a car. Oh, okay. Right. That's due to being visually impaired.

You wouldn't want me on the road. No. So, Tom, refresh me really quick. How bad is the visual impairment? I mean, I can see enough to get from point A to point B, but again, you wouldn't want me on the road. No, I get that. I'm talking about if you're talking to a real estate agent who doesn't understand your needs, since I sent you back to get more clear on what you really want to do, you're looking into real estate?

Is that what I'm hearing? Yes, sir. That is correct. So wanting to sell homes, correct? Correct. All right. How would your visual impairment, let's just say that Stacy and I signed you up. We said, hey, we want to list our house.

How would your visual impairment affect your ability to list our house, sell our house, show the house, you know, the whole deal? Other than that, I can't drive. I don't know of any way that it would. Okay. So what's the question and what does it have to do with this real estate agent? How do I? Well, because I'm visually impaired, location has a deeper meaning in that I need to be where things are walkable, and that I have access to bus transportation.

Okay. So you're calling us from Charlotte, North Carolina, where there's public transportation and the city of Charlotte, you know, I'm guessing pretty hot and popping like Nashville and Atlanta. True or false? That would be true. Okay, so hit Kristi Nye. What's the question? How can we help? Where would I begin? Of course, I need to get licensed and all that good stuff. You just answered your own question. So you need to get licensed. So let's go actually get qualified if, Tom, if, and again, I know it was a month and a half ago, but I talked to a lot of people, if you really feel like real estate is in that sweet spot

where you've got the talent for it, you really enjoy the work, this is a people-driven type of work, this is all communication, there's details and research and all that. And then the result of that work is obviously, we're talking about fulfilling people's dreams, comfort, safety, all the things that come with a home purchase. If this is in fact in your sweet spot, then it's about really talking to a couple more

real estate agents. I know you've not had a good experience with this one you called us about, but verifying, clarifying and verifying, yep, this yep, I know everything that goes into this. I absolutely want to do this. If in fact that's where we stand, and I'm assuming that's the case since you've listened to my show and you've called me before, then you've got to go get qualified. And so you've got to get the licensing. And then while you're doing that, you want to make the connection to where you get with a good broker, somebody who understands your limitations but does not see limitations for you in your career and your ability to sell. That's what we're talking about here.

And if you do that, I mean, at the end of the day, there's nobody stopping you from being successful in real estate other than you. Understood. I want to give you one thing, Tom, to do. I want to give you one thing to jump in and add to what ken said because he's exactly right but i want to give you one thing to do as a part of it like when he was talking about getting clear assuming you're clear but but let's just take one more step i'd love to insert there so i don't know if you're like this tom but sometimes i'll have ideas of things i want to do and and what i think it's going to be and what it actually is

are two different things so i would just challenge you to um and ken talks about this a lot in his book proximity principle but get connected with agents in your area and volunteer to shadow them interview them intern with them be there be their admin help just be in their presence and volunteer to do anything that you can because here's what that's going to do. It's going to give you a taste of the real day-to-day, not in theory what you think this job is. I think in your situation being visually impaired, that will be that much more important because there may be some aspect of this day-to-day that is actually more difficult for you or less enjoyable for you than you think it's going to be.

It will just help you get that extra layer of clarity before you go get licensed and spend that money and make that commitment. So I would just challenge you, make some connections. Can we send him your book? Yeah, sure. Hang on the line, we'll get it to you. I mean, he's really begun that step, which is huge. And he's got to just clarify and is exactly what you're just talking about, where we run this thing the day in, day out, the good parts, the bad parts. We run it through our head. That's the logic. That's the clarify. And then our heart is going to verify.

It's either going to be the classic X's on Family Feud, or it's going to go ding, ding, ding. And so let the brain do what it's supposed to do, which is logically process information, and let the heart do what it's supposed to do to verify, yeah, if this is like a tuning fork going off in your chest, Tom, then we do it. But I'm going to challenge you one other thing here. I heard the voice of doubt all over you,

and many times when we get to a place where we go, okay, I know I want to do this thing, but this is a whole new thing, Christy. It is very natural to feel fear and doubt. And fear and doubt protect us sometimes. But many times they'll lie to us and hold us back. And the very thing, well, I've got to be in an area where I can walk and show homes or at least get transportation. And again, sure, but that's not going to limit you in Charlotte, North Carolina.

Many times, right on the precipice of stepping out, folks, your head will try to talk you out of it by coming up with all the reasons why it might be difficult. I got news for you. It's going to be difficult. You don't need to manufacture reasons. Anytime we start and do something, there's going to be difficulties. And I can promise you this, there's going to be failure on the way to success. So let's not overthink this. Let the heart guide and decide. And then move. Do it.

It's so interesting, too, because I think that sometimes, Ken, and I had this example in college. I remember in college, I've told the story before, but I thought I wanted to be an event planner because I was like, I like parties. I like to celebrate. I'm good at hosting things.

And so I told my mom that. I was like, yeah, I think that's what I want to do. I had a business degree, but I was like, I think I want to be an event planner. And my mom said, which was very wise at the time, she said, Christy, I want you to think about what that really is. You're thinking, I party for work. That sounds awesome. I plan balloon arches. Yeah, party's your middle name.

Sounds fantastic. Sure. And she said, okay, the reality of that career path is nights and weekends and holidays, because that's when people have parties. That one statement helped me reframe, do I really want to do this? Because sometimes we think this is what it's going to be. And real estate is just like that. It is often showings on evenings, showings on weekends, depending on Tom's family or other responsibilities. So for anybody listening, if you want to do something, ask people doing it. You'll get the real story of the day-to-day, the good, the bad, the ugly,

and then you can decide with more clarity and more accuracy if you still want to pursue that path. If you do, cool. If you don't, we just saved you from spending a lot of money and time going down a path that you actually didn't want to end up going down. This is The Ramsey Show. I'm Christy Wright and joining me for one more segment today is Ken Coleman and we're taking your calls about life money career business purpose whatever you want to talk about we are here for you 888-825-5225 and we're going to go to L.A. with Aaron. Hey, Aaron, how's it going?

Hey, good morning, everybody. Good morning, Ken. Thank you so much for having me on. Sure. How's it going? What can we do? Man, I am in a pickle. Let's have it.

I moved from Nashville, not too far from the studio, actually to L.A., moving in with my mother-in-law, with my beautiful bride and my newborn. And since having our son, I have had a hard time finding work-life balance. It is so suffocating being out 12 hours a day and then obviously helping out with the newborn when I can. But my question to you is how do you, as you go through baby steps too, which we're currently doing, how do you have shifts between the mindset of is there a mentality and working your face off, which my wife and I have no problem doing, versus making sure you don't

burn out and have a quality of life that it's impossible to do? It seems like it's impossible to do both. Yeah. I love this question, Aaron, and I love how you asked it because I think a lot of people feel unnecessary pressure to have this perfect balance. And Ken and I were just talking about this a little bit ago. We have this idea that life balance is a 50-50 split, which is not realistic or desirable. We think it's doing everything for an equal amount of time. And that's not realistic either. So really what I like to tell people and teach

people, and I want to walk you through this, Aaron, is that life balance is not doing everything for an equal amount of time. It's about doing the right things at the right time. And only you can decide what those right things are. Now, because you have a newborn, that obviously is a major factor in how you feel right now. One of the things that actually lay out in my book, Erin, is that sometimes we have feelings that make us feel like our whole life is out of whack, but it's just a feeling. For example, being tired. Sometimes when you're tired, you feel like your whole world is upside down and you get eight hours of sleep. You're like, okay, I am okay. It's hard to accurately assess how you're doing or what you need to do in your life when

you're tired or when you're stressed or when you're overwhelmed. And I'll walk through those in my book. But in your specific instance, what I think would be really helpful for you to do is to sit down with your spouse and identify what are your top priorities in this season. I can probably guess some of them. When you said you're on baby step two, you're gazelle intense, that's going to be a top priority for you. Taking care of your newborn, what that looks like for you or for her or who's taking the majority of the responsibilities. But when you put on paper what your top priorities are, it gives you permission to say no to everything else. It gives you permission to say, you know what, maybe I'm not working out. Maybe I'm not seeing

my friends. Maybe my house is not clean because I'm in a season of a newborn and I'm gazelle intense. Maybe I'm not going out and spending money out here or doing this. It's not about doing everything for an equal amount of time. It's about doing the right things at the right time. What's right for you right now? When you figure out what that is, it allows you to say no to everything that it's not. And it also helps you shake the guilt that comes from, oh, I'm failing. Oh, I'm failing.

You're not failing. You just need to ask yourself what's right right now i'm i'm in a similar uh seat with you aaron with uh work i'm going into a very busy work season i'm launching this book i'm going to be on the road i'm going to be traveling if you looked at my life as this one snapshot oh that's very out of balance yeah Yeah. If your version of balance is everything for an equal amount of time. But if it's doing the right things at the right time, then I am balanced and you are too. So I just want to encourage you to sit down with your spouse. Write down what are your top three to five priorities. Three to five, not 35.

Three to five. In order of importance. And then you make decisions on how you spend your time according to that. But when you're tired, because you will be, because you have a newborn, and you're working your tail off at this job and to pay off your debt, just know, tired, this is a season. Now, you don't need to be tired for five years, but if you're tired in this season, it doesn't mean your whole world's out of balance.

It just means what you're doing right now isn't a tiring season. Does that make sense? Aaron. Absolutely. I mean, you're preaching to the choir. Yeah, I can. Aaron, why are you working 12 hours? Why are you working so hard?

There's a reason. You're gazelle intense. What's the other side of this? Christy's right. When you do that priority exercise, you've got to allow your heart to realize what's really going on. Your brain's telling you you're exhausted. She's absolutely right. You're going to get bone tired.

You're going to get frustrated. Your heart's going to miss the little one when you're working that extra shift. When Christy tells you to work those priorities, she's leading your heart back to the top of this list here where the heart goes, okay, I'm doing this. I'm working 12 hours because of this, because of this, because of this. It's a desired future. Those priorities are the why. Do you hear what I'm saying, Aaron?

You guys are preaching to the choir. I mean, my family is my everything. My son grew up, being one hour a day. Yeah, I know. Feeling like he's doubling in weight every second. Yeah. It's incredible. It's a gift, and it's the worst feeling in the world.

I know. Not having him close by and not being with family. I hear you. What do you do, Aaron? That's what I do it for. Let me share something with you real quick, Aaron. So you know your son has no clue. He has no concept of time right now.

That's the great news about this. That's a super practical thing. This is actually the best time for you to work your tail off. Yeah, it's not going to change how your heart feels. So I don't want to be glib and I don't want anybody in the audience to think, well, Ken, you're simple. No, no. I'm saying your heart's still going to hurt but if you realize your kid's

not going to resent you and those tears that you're crying for your son, man, that's why you're doing this. And he doesn't know. He has no difference. He doesn't know the difference between one minute and ten minutes. What do you do, Aaron? What's your job? So I'm currently just, I've hopped around since COVID with different sales jobs,

which is not what I'll be doing forever. It's not my passion in life. But right now I'm doing solar in California because it's a great market and it's a great market and it's a growing company. So it makes a lot of sense for the time being. How much longer till you're debt free? So it looks like based on the trend, we've got about another 30,000 left in my student loan. So we should be done in five or six months. Five or six months, Aaron? Dude, come on, man. Five or six months.

Come on, man. Five or six months. You got it. Five or six months. You can do this. Listen, you are not a bad dad. No. You are doing a great job.

You're doing what's right right now. You are busting it to get out of debt for your family, for your son, for your future. Yep. And you're going to have some more freedom, options, flexibility, and oh, by the way, time and money when you're on the other side of this. You're doing great. You're doing so much better than you think you are. I'm actually really, really, really proud of you.

You're doing the right things right now, and so many other people are making excuses and sitting on their hands and sitting around complaining, and you're not. You're out there doing what's best for your family. I'm actually really proud of you. I know you call in feeling like you're failing.

I disagree. I think you're doing a great job. Ken, I think you and I, yours are a little bit older now, older than mine, but even Carter, who's six, it's harder to leave him now than when he was a newborn.

For sure. Because he didn't know. Yeah. But it doesn't take away that- No, the pain's still there. The pain's still there. But we're trying to deal with the guilt. Yes.

And if you can remind yourself, for example, I was in California actually launching Business Boutique for pre-sale on January 31st, 2017. And that is Carter's second birthday. And I remember sitting backstage in the green room with my mic on, tears streaming down my face that I wasn't there at his second birthday. Now, did I celebrate his birthday and we had a party the weekend before? Yes.

Absolutely. Does he remember that day? No. Does it mean I'm a bad mom? No. He knows how much you love him. And boy, once for nothing when it comes to love. I mean, it's phenomenal.

But as a parent you still feel that whole but i think it's so good to remind yourself just like you said ken the why now if you're if someone's listening right now and you're just a workaholic and you've been a workaholic for two decades and you don't know your kids names we're not talking to you yeah you got your priorities probably mixed up by the way, when I asked Aaron why he works 12 hours a day and he was quiet, you and I have done this long enough to know he wasn't stumped. He was trying not to cry. Yes.

And then he started crying. And so I want to point out that there are other people that are in the journey right now. They're in the middle of the debt snowball, or maybe they're early on in the debt snowball, or maybe they're towards the end of it. And they just feel like they can't go another 60-hour week or a 12-hour shift. If your why is reestablished, you've got to know why I'm going so hard and when you can reestablish it. Aaron, we got back to his heart right there. He's got this.

Five or six months is going to go like yesterday. That's awesome. Good stuff. Well done. He's got this. Five to six months is going to go like yesterday. That's awesome. Well done. Well done, Aaron. Well, I want to thank my co-host for this hour, Ken Coleman. I want to thank

producer James Childs, associate producer Kelly Daniel, and New America for joining us. This is The Ramsey advice in their life? Let them know about the Ramsey Call of the Day podcast. It's a quick hit of advice about life and money in under 10 minutes. Check out the Ramsey Call of the Day podcast wherever you listen to podcasts.