The Ramsey Show - App - My Grandmother Wants to Leave Me Debt (Hour 3)

Episode Date: September 7, 2020

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🎵 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. My co-host today on the air, the one and only Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality. So, Dr. John, here to answer your questions about life and me about money and life. And we're just going to talk about you right in front of you. I love that.

And it's a free call. And some say the advice is worth what you pay for it. I still think it's double that, but we'll take them at their word. Easy double. Easy double. Easy double. Like when I went to work for that guy for free one time, I told him if I wasn't any good, he could cut my pay in half. That's right.

Same thing. There we go. Open phones at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. We're going to start this hour off with Janelle in Dayton, Ohio. Hi, Janelle. How are you? Good.

How are you? Better than I deserve. How can Dr. John and I help? So I am currently starting my master's program, but I have a lot of student debt from my undergrad. A portion of it is in my parents' name. It was a Parents Plus loan, but it's kind of mutual understanding that I will still be paying those back as well as the ones in my name. The Parents Plus loan, though, have much higher interest rates, and I'm trying to start paying some of these loans off while still in school, even though I don't have necessarily a super steady income. And so I'm trying to decide if it's best to start paying on the ones with the higher interest

rates or pay on the ones that are actually in my name to help my score. Okay. Probably neither. How are you paying for your master's? Still on loans. I'm sorry? I'm still using student loans. Okay.

Well, before we would pay down one student loan with the left hand and go borrow another one with the right hand, we would just use whatever money you have to pay down student loans to take less student loans or no student loans for your master's. Okay. It's kind of silly to pay down a student loan and then turn around and take one out. Yeah, it's like filling the bathtub and drilling a hole in the back of it at the same time. What are you getting your master's degree in?

Public health. When will you complete it? I have two more years yet. Are you already in it? Have you started yet? Yeah, I've started. Why is it not a two-year master's? It is. I have only just started. I'm only a semester

in. Oh, okay. Alright. And how much do you make? Currently, I'm only working part time at $12 an hour, but I'm applying for full-time position since my master's classes will only be in the evenings. Yeah, you need a full-time position since my master's classes will only be in the evenings.

Yeah, you need a full-time big girl job. And then pay cash. Your first goal is to pay cash for your master's. That's goal one. And just don't pay anything on these other student loans. They're not due right now while you're in your master's. Just let them sit there. Yeah, I was just trying to get some payments on them while

their interest rate was zero percent. Yeah, I understand, but it doesn't matter. It is kind of ridiculous to be borrowing student loans while you're paying down another one. So get the big girl job, pay cash for your master's. That's job one. If you're doing all of that and you've got the money to pay for your living expenses and your master's and you're taking out no more debt, I'm going to call that a win. But if you go past that and you have extra money, then list the other debts, smallest to largest, and attack them in that order. That's what I would do. All right, Julie is going to be next in Chicago.

Hi, Julie. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hi. Thank you so much for taking my call. It's an honor to speak with you both. You too. How can we help? Well, my boyfriend and I were friends for about 20 years and became a couple about 17 years ago.

We were both divorced at the time. He has three kids. I have two kids. All five of them are beautiful, amazing kids, all wonderful adults now. The thing is, is that we've always raised our kids in separate households. So we've never lived together. We've not combined anything together. And I'm going to be 55 this year.

He's going to be 53. So I'm wondering at this point, now that the kids are adults, should we get married at this point? Because, you know, I've been told that there's a marriage penalty. His income is higher than mine, significantly higher than mine. Mine fell because of COVID, unfortunately. But if we combine households, then I'll lose head of household, and then I'll be added in and then be at a higher tax rate. So I was just wondering what you thought about that. Yeah. You won't be significantly higher tax rate. There may be a little bit of a bump married filing jointly, but very little.

And here's the thing. To me, that is a minor issue if you're 55 years old you love this guy and you want to spend the rest of your life with him get married you've been together you've been together 17 years yeah painter get off the ladder the latter so and i just you know we we both want to we were just like i said kind of concerned we've heard so many naysayers about you know combining income well there's a lot of people out there there's a lot of people out there that have little small lives you're not one of them have a big life get married wonderful you Wonderful. Julie, you're halfway done. You're halfway down the aisle.

Well, you're all the way. No, y'all are done down the aisle. You're 17 years together, but I'm saying you're halfway done with your life. You're going to live to be at least 110, Julie. I can tell by the joy in your voice on the phone. Talk about test driving the car.

You have test driven this car for the better part of two decades i think yeah get married yeah get married and listen you're here's the other thing there's um there is some actual statistical data that's in the in the tax law that may or may not cause you to pay slightly higher taxes there's a lot of other data that says that people who are married have a higher tendency to prosper than singles in their careers, in their wealth building. The combined household is much more powerful mathematically. And so anything that you lose in a little bit of taxes, you're going to gain back probably 10x by the quality of your life going up. And as a result, a lot of your health issues go down,

your married people live longer, they do make more money on average. There's tons of data that shows, they call it the marriage lift in the financial world, that married people just have a higher tendency to prosper. It's not to say you can't do it single, but there's a, you know, whatever downside there is in the tax law, you know, it's going to be a lot of upside on the other. And combining households and combining your finances is an exciting adventure.

It's called living life together. That's right. I mean, she's got the back half. The kids are gone. She just gets to create this. I mean, you're walking in as a universe. You're walking in as empty nesters. You've won, Julie.

You've got the best part to go. Yeah. This is great. Yeah, get married tomorrow. I love it. Go catch your pastor and say, I need to go to coffee and bring your little book because we're getting married. I love it. This is the Daveave ramsey show folks i love telling you about well-made, well-thought-out products. Today, I'm talking about Grip6 belts.

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Free samples, free shipping, and I'll use the promo code Ramsey to always get the best deal. John, our question. Today's question comes from Tree in Kentucky. He visits DaveRamsey.com to ask, how do you fight fair as a couple when you disagree? Oh, that is awesome. What a question. it's a wonderful question this is a dave question not a bunch of lines not a bunch of delonisms like talking about when he was sad he was a kid how do you fight fair as a couple when you disagree simple question

so here's my answer to my questions are simple questions i'm just saying you're simple i think you just said that on the radio you're're direct. I tend to run my mouth. So here's what I would say. Number one, I would always ask, why are we fighting? For what? What's this disagreement about? Right? The second thing I would always ask is, what's the outcome going to be?

Am I digging my heels in on something? Am I having a disagreement because I think I'm right? Am I just wanting to fight? There's those moments we just want to engage. And then the other thing is, number three is, can I be heard? Am I speaking just to have said something, or am I talking in a way that the other person is going to hear me? And sometimes that means I've got to be quiet in the moment when I'm heated.

I've got to get off site. I've got to say things that I know aren't going to push my wife's buttons. But it always goes back to the central, why are we even having this discussion? Why are we fighting? Are we fighting for ten things that have happened over the last three weeks? Or are we having a disagreement right now over one thing? That's really good. What about the fair part?

I know one of the things I have learned, it's actually helped my marriage to learn how to do conflict here at the office. And so here at the office, we fight. I mean, we do conflict here. We eat it for breakfast. But it's not for the purpose of conflict or the purpose of damaging the soul of the individual. It's we're fighting for excellence. And so I can argue with you. And you and I can have a heated exchange. the soul of the individual it's we're fighting for excellence and so iron sharpens iron i can argue with you and you and i can have a heated exchange and um but we have a level of trust

that it's not about uh you not liking me me not liking you it's about this thing and we're just arguing about how to do the thing better right or whether to do the thing right or what excellence looks like in the thing but when you cross the line and you make it personal uh and i go yeah well i mean you're just that guy right then it turns to contempt versus working on the problem is that the part of the fair it's knowing the boundaries i know your boundaries i know my wife's boundaries. When I intentionally choose to cross them, I'm not being fair. Because she trusts me.

I have permission to hurt my wife. She's got permission to speak into my world. When I wield that unethically, when I wield that sword to hurt, that's me saying, I'm going to speak. I'm going to say something that I know is going to get you because I'm going to win. Right? When I make a fight with my wife, a disagreement with my wife about a one and a loss, I've already lost. Because we're on the same team and we're fighting for the same thing.

We are grinding out life together. And so when I cross that boundary and I know I'm going to bury you with this one, I've already lost. Because, man, yeah. You know what Dr. Philly is supposed to say? Like, do you want to be right or do you want to be together, right? Am I fighting right now just to be right or am I trying to solve a problem together so we can move on? Yeah. Les Parrott talks about one of the most deadly forces in the marriage material that he's done is contempt. The eye roll.

That when someone rolls around.'s the ultimate dismissal of your personhood right and that's that's the non-fair thing that's when you just you just said it doesn't even matter what you think because you don't matter and think about that positionally right that is me putting myself on a throne saying i'm just brushing that off my shoulder yeah right's just dirt off the shoulder. Away with you, peasant. That's right. That's right, right? Get that dirt off my shoulder.

Yeah, so I've never done that. No, no, no, no, not me. Not in 38 years, never. Ryan is in South Carolina and is going to get me out of this. What's up, Ryan? Hey, Dave. Hey, Dr. D. It's great to talk with you.

And also with you. How can we help so um i'm gonna try and tell a long story short um my parents got divorced when i was five before they got divorced they um bought a trailer a double y trailer um eventually my mom got remarried moved away from that place my dad got remarried moved away from that place. My dad got remarried, moved away from that place, but still owned the trailer. He passed away four years ago. At some point in time, my grandma either had to buy the trailer back for my dad or was a cosigner on the loan for them.

Initially, I'm not really clear on that detail. So when my father passed away, my stepmom thought that the trailer went to her it didn't it went to my grandma who is now 89 years old and trying to get her um will and things like that in order and she asked if i would assume that now they've done a rent to own mortgage essentially agreement with a lady who's living on that property now. My wife and I are in a relationship. Your grandmother wants you to assume the debt on the double-wide from your father who passed away? Right.

No. Yeah, no, man. That was my initial thought, and so it kind of works out without her being on the air today. I don't know how to breach that subject and tell her no without hurting her i guess um if you're if your relationship with your grandmother is based on her doing damage to you financially you don't have a relationship that's fair what kind of what kind of grandmother wants to hurt her grandson none and the other side of that is mostly... And the other side of the conversation is if... How old are you?

I'm 26. Yeah, there is no 26-year-old who's going to do any explaining to an 89-year-old. It's just not going to happen. And she probably thinks she's doing you a favor. She's helping you out. Right? And so the best way to do it is to

say, we're good where we live, and thank you, but no thank you. And your grandmother can work directly with the tenant if that's what she wants to do. So, hey, leave it to them. You stay as far away from them as possible. Just bless them with this. Okay. Sounds good. I've actually got another question if I have a minute.

You do. Jump in. So my wife and I are in Baby Step 2. We're expecting our first child in November, and she is currently an LPN, and she is interested in getting her RN to kind of step up, and that would increase our income significantly. Excellent.

I'm looking at the opportunity of her having some maternity leave to maybe jumpstart her program. We're in a situation, I work at a church, and we could pay out of pocket to cover her new program, but that would definitely slow us way down on getting out of Baby Step 2. How much debt have you got? We attack ready, 65, about 65,000 is all student debt. And you said your household income is what?

Household income is about 75,000. And the RNs want 20,000? We'll do it through a tech program here in town. So I would anticipate maybe 20,000 total. But, you know, we'd be paying that out of pocket as we went.

Yeah, well, I mean, it's still $20,000 versus $65,000 that you already got. Yeah. Listen, I think it's an incredibly smart decision to get the RN. I have to answer this as what I would do if I were in your shoes, and I would clear the other debt before you did it. I really would. Both of you roll up your sleeves, and let's get this thing knocked out. Because you were talking about a year and a half, two years to do this, and then start the RN,

and you don't have this monkey on your back of $65,000 while you're trying to work through the RN program. You're still going to get to where you want to go. And it's a good program. She should do it. I want to call out something Ryan said, which was we're going to take this maternity leave, and I want to use this as an opportunity for her to get ahead. And I want to tell Ryan, let your wife be with her baby. Don't start ROI-ing her time that you think is going to be free time for her just to play around the house.

She's going to be growing a human. Let it be. Love your wife through this moment. You can get an RN in a minute. Good counsel. And just smile at your grandmother and say, Honey, I love you, but I can't take the trailer. I got a baby on the way.

That's enough. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Dr. John Deloney, my co-host today on the Dave Ramsey Show, Ramsey Personality. We're here to answer your questions about your life and your money. Jeffrey and Michelle are with us from California to do their debt-free scream. What's up, guys? What's up, Dave? How you doing? Good to have you guys.

How much have you paid off? So $62,669 in 13 months. Yes. Congratulations. So, guys, love it. And your range of income during that 13 months? It was $110,000 to $144,000. Nice jump in one year.

What do you guys do for a living? So I'm in the Air Force. I'm a C-17 pilot. I've been in since 2001. Thank you for your service. And I'm a signed professional model, so I do everything from print to runway to e-comm. And a funny story, Dave, is I actually worked with Blinds.com,

and I thought how cool would it be to tell Dave once we do our debt-free screen that I worked with them. And they've just put your picture up in that ad on YouTube, so the YouTubers are seeing it, and people look deeply into your radio, you can see the picture. Okay. That's so cool! That's so great. That is so cool. Was that an agency thing hookup or just a random agency thing and it just happened to be?

Yes, it was an agency connection. It's one of the clients. Wow, that is so cool. Fun, fun, fun. And we just saw the picture come by. You guys got four kids. What ages? Yes, so the boys are three and five, and then the girls are eight and nine.

Whew, y'all are in it right now. This is fun. What kind of debt was the $63,000? So we had two cars, some student loans, and consumer debt, so normal credit card, normal living. So you're kind of normal. Yeah, normal people. Spending check to check. So what happened? What was the wake-up call? So I was approaching close to retirement time, and when I commissioned, of course, more income came in. And we always thought, you know, in that next rank, things would get better. And then I put on captain and increase in pay, and things were still the same, kind of that check-the-check feeling.

And retirement is around the corner, and I would love to get out without any type of financial stress. And then so we actually sat down and we looked at where we couldn't figure out where's our money going. And so we printed out everything, all of our statements. And I noticed that even after buying groceries, I spent four400 to $500 in one week at Publix. And so that was a big wake-up call where we said, okay, we need to sit down and really look at this deeper. And that was it, the straw that broke the camel's back, I guess. Okay. So when you start paying attention, it was like, oh, crap, this has got to change.

Absolutely. And how did you connect to us so when i uh commissioned uh a former commander of mine colonel scott zip wad he flew in and he commissioned me and one of his gifts to me was your book totemoney makeover and you know unfortunately i was you know we're getting married about to come into a lot of new money and it became a decoration in the house so that's nice usually it's just a coaster yeah just a coaster right and you know we had when we sat down and we had that conversation uh i remember the conversation with him and then we went and picked up the book

started reading it and then it was it was game on from there okay all right so uh so uh machayo she says we got to fix this. And you go, I think there's a book here somewhere. Yeah. All right. I got it. Well, well done, you guys. So it was as simple as the Total Money Makeover book led you to do it.

Or showed you how to do it. It started the drive. And then, you know, we got gazelle intense. I started, you know, on my time off i would deliver groceries deliver food uh deliver stuff walmart i mean just finding every way to just increase the income to throw at it and then michelle started taking every modeling gig that they would the agency would throw at her she was traveling all over and uh that's how the increase in income jumped because we just buckled down and tightened the budget and just went after

our day. Really got intentional. How did your marriage change when y'all got together, started making these plans, and you started following a roadmap together? Tell you what, it gave us this entire new team dynamics, right? It was a thing where talking about money was no longer stressful. It was fun. We put ourselves on a clear path together. It gave us something to work towards. It gave us a connected goal. And it's just been great ever since. So now all our money conversations are just great conversations because we now know exactly where we're headed financially. Very cool. What do you tell people the secret to getting out of debt is?

Being intentional. Just being intentional, going after it, setting the goals, setting the big goals so the smaller steps that you have to take to get there aren't as hard or doesn't seem as insurmountable. And, you know, I enjoyed it so much that I became a financial coach. So I'm one of your RPCs. Wow. I'm leading Financial Peace University here on Travis Air Force Base. You know, it's all about giving back now. You know, this has changed our lives for the better. And with this new knowledge, everything that I can do specifically to the

military community, it's just been great. Wow. Well, thank you for doing that. Because we, as you know, we love the military around here. We do a lot of work with you guys. And for you to have that base there or that class virtual class going on this base is pretty incredible way to go guys so the kiddos were they into it oh yeah yeah they actually um i went through the smart money smart kids and we actually purchased the materials and um implemented that with the older ones and then now the five-year-old. And so they have their envelopes and they, you know, keep track of their own finances. And it's pretty fun to see them just learning and growing along with us.

That's fun. So you're not just getting out of debt. You're changing the entire legacy of your family. Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. And they're going to get married and have kids that don't even know what debt is and don't know about owing somebody money, and they're going to have this whole other layer of free life because of the work you guys put in.

Well done. Yeah. Amen. Touchdown, baby. This is so great. You guys are incredible. You're heroes. I'm so proud of you.

So proud of you. Thank you. We've got a copy of Chris Hogan's book for you, Everyday Millionaires, because that's for sure the next chapter in your story. You are on your way. What a power couple right here, man. This is pretty incredible. You guys are awesome.

All right, and the kids' names are what? Are they going to scream with you? Are they there? Yeah, they're right here. They're ready. What are their names again? Jeffrey and Roman and Penny and Shelly. All right. And Jeffrey Sr. and Michelle. I'm going to mess this up, I'm afraid.

All right. $63,000 paid off in 13 months, making $110,000 to $144,000. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. Three, two, one. We're the free. Yeah. Yeah.

That's so awesome. You know, there's very few times in life you can hear a metaphor. Yeah. And when you hear those little chipmunk voices, you are hearing a family tree change. Yeah. And when you hear those little chipmunk voices, you are hearing a family tree change. Yep. You are hearing it. We talk about the concept and the metaphor of, I'm going to change my family tree.

I'm going to change the destiny of the ones that come after me. I'm going to do that. When those little voices are screaming like that, and they're plugged in with smart money, smart kids, and mom and dad have committed to this stuff, and mom and dad are teaching this stuff, this thing has changed. This is a permanent transformation. And it's not only about money, because they got to see mom and dad sit down at a table and work together and have discussions and disagreements and then realize, oh, wait a minute, they disagree, but they still love each other,

and they're still on the same team, and they still circle back up the next week and the next week, and that becomes a change in your DNA. That becomes a change in every part of your life. And they're going to treat their bosses differently. They're going to date differently. They're going to do everything differently. Their brain chemistry is different. Everything about these kids is different.

They've watched goals be accomplished, the kids have. They've watched mom and dad do healthy conflict for excellence sake. And circle back and say, we still love each other. They've watched, and then they participate in the win. You see, when that 12-year-old is 32, I remember being on the radio. Oh, yeah. With 17 million people hearing him or her scream. And he'll be bummed out that he doesn't get to yell because he never was in debt.

Yeah. But there's no chance. No chance they're going to, ah, yeah, that's so cool. This is how it works, boys and girls. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. We'll be right back. Our scripture of the day, Ephesians 5, 8, and 9. For at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light, for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true. Success is achieved by developing our strengths, not by

eliminating our weaknesses, Marilyn von Zandt said. Open phones at 888-825-5225. My co-host is Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality This Hour. And Angela is in Ohio. Hi, Angela. Your question for Dr. John and me. Hi. Thank you so much for taking my call.

I am a huge fan of everything Dave Ramsey. Oh, my gosh. I'm super nervous. That's okay. We've never lost a patient. Let's be clear. Okay, good. So I'm calling because about three and a half weeks ago, my husband confessed to me that he has a prescription drug addiction. I had no idea. I was completely blindsided. So that very day, we found a rehab facility. He $30,000. He cleaned it out. He took as much liquid

as he could get. And he put himself into credit debt of about $70,000 that I'm aware of just via cash advances. So at this point, I'm just trying to figure out, I mean, he's going to clean up his own mess, of course, but I'm trying to be supportive. Do we go with Chapter 13 bankruptcy? Do we consolidate? Do we pay things off? Some of it's in collections. There's about 10 credit cards I found. Some of it's just four to six months late. So it's kind of a mess right now. So I'm just looking for some guidance. Wow. Tough month. Very. Yeah, you're going to be like the rest of us. 2020, you don't want to see it again.

Yep. Yep, exactly. So are you working outside the home? I am. I'm in education. What do you make? $71,000. What does he make?

He makes $95,000. So we have $160,000 income to clean up $70,000 worth of debt. Correct. So that's really not a problem. Correct. It doesn't sound like one. I guess because it's going to collections and it's past due and we don't have any liquid. I'm kind of scared of collectors, you know? What do you do about that?

They're not going to do anything by the time you can pay them back. Mm-hmm. do about that they're not they're not going to do anything by the time you can pay them back so i mean if you start paying you know uh you start talking about put this is gone in 12 months which it should be fairly easily right um the biggest problem is is you're just trying to you're you you got knocked on your back i mean uh so your whole world changed, and so you're trying to get your head around. If you had been gradually kind of knew this was there, but you didn't know we had a problem, and you didn't know you had a financial problem, and those are all new things. Right. I thought we had a fully funded emergency fund.

I thought we were on baby step six, and I had no idea. And I am in charge of the money, you know, and he just, but you know, the addiction makes you sneaky. Oh, makes you lie. And manipulative and deceitful, exactly. All addicts are liars. Do you have somebody in your life that you can sit with that will walk alongside you or a group that's going to walk alongside you?

Because you're going to have to do a couple of things. You're going to have to mourn the, I learned this phrase when I joined this team, you're going to have to mourn the financial infidelity. You're going to have to mourn the stability that you knew and the loss of trust there, right? As your husband has to rebuild that and you're going to have to walk alongside your husband in this journey together. But you're also going to have to learn to retrust you.

Because you trusted him. You trusted your sense of understanding what's going on in your home. You know the sense of money. And what I often hear people experience as they walk through this is they understand they've got to learn to retrust their husband. They've got to learn to reclimb the financial mess. They forget to learn to retrust themselves. And that ends up being the most painful violation. So do you have people that you can walk with? I have a lot.

Yeah, I have an amazing group of friends and friends and family. I mean, I am so blessed to have everybody in my life. They have come forward and helped me in ways I could never have imagined. So, yes, I have a lot of helpers. Thank God for that. So you had a $100,000 change in position from 30 plus to 70 minus. Yes. And your guy that you thought was solid isn't.

Right. And so there's a lot to be sad about. Very much. Very much. And mad about. And not to be stay sad or stay mad. But, I mean, those are just real emotions. I just want to say out loud,

those normal human beings have emotions like that in this kind of crap. And if you don't feel it, and if you shove them down and try to get to problem solving, what's that, Dave? They have a high rate of resurrection. Or in counseling, we call them leakage. They will find a way out. You can deal with them or they will make their way out all over your marriage. You have all the emotions, as strong as they come, and ups and downs. And overall, I would say it's just confusing.

I'm just confused. It is. You know, so much disorienting what you can do is you can lay out some very clear principles with his coaches and counselors that say you know you have to re-earn trust by being worthy of trust trustworthy not not falling off the wagon again not lying not manipulating not doing drugs and so we're gonna we're gonna have a real clear understanding of what winning looks like there and then we're gonna have a real careful mathematical formula that says we're gonna be on a budget and we're gonna take seventy thousand dollars in debt, making $160,000. And so we're going to clean that up.

You know, this is $7,000 a month. Yes. And when you just make your list of smallest to largest, plus or minus a barking dog that you want to get rid of on the list, right? Right, right. But, you know, you just start knocking it out seven thousand dollars they're not gonna bark much right yeah and you don't think bankruptcy is the way to go no you're not bankrupt you're not bankrupt you make 160 you need to pay 70 yeah and you see the little perspective from you so thank you you're not even close to bankrupt you're scared you're mad you're confused and you're and you're pissed off and all of those things are right but you're confused, and you're pissed off. And all of those things are right, but you're not bankrupt.

In six months from now, you're going to be super pissed off. Because you're going to want this to be over. And he's going to have been working his steps, and he's going to be going to his group, and he is going to have rededicated himself to his marriage and you. And you are still going to have the broom and the dustpan cleaning this crap up. And it's going to have the broom and the dust plan cleaning this crap up. Right, and I did nothing wrong. It's going to suck. And that's why you've got, that's what we say, the people in your life.

If he stays clean and does his steps for the next year, and you work your Dave Ramsey system and you bust through this debt in one year, 12 months from today, you're going to have your life back. I pray. I pray. I pray that's exactly what happens. Angela, it's somewhat up to him. It's somewhat up to him. I mean, he's got to heal.

He's got to keep walking the healing. But if you can keep the emotions dialed and know that they're there, but also stay on a path mathematically, this is very doable in 12 months mathematically. Okay. I feel better. Thank you. I had a feeling that's what you were going to say, but I just feel like I needed to call and hear you say it yourself. Thank you so much.

If you told me you make $25,000 a year, you might be bankrupt. Yeah, right. But you're not. Right. So the bad news is you got a hole. The good news is you got a really nice big shovel. Yeah, and we can do it. Yeah, you can do it.

We can definitely do it. I'm very hopeful. I really am. Are you guys in Ramsey Plus? No. Okay, I'm going to pay for it. Well, that Ramsey Plus is all of the stuff together. It's every dollar.

It's Financial Peace University. It's all the tools under one heading. And I'm going to give you a one-year membership to walk with you guys while you're walking your year out, okay? Thank you so much. Now, jump in. Use the EveryDollarBudget. Let him walk with you on the EveryDollarBudget. He needs to participate and carry the emotional weight of these financial decisions.

You don't need to be his mommy for the next 12 months financially. Yep, that's hard because I'm the leader. I am the control freak. Yeah, but that'll help you trust him, and it'll help him. He can demonstrate it in real time. Yeah, it's his payback. He emotionally and financially carries the weight of this because it's his mess. It's a way he can bring restoration back.

Yeah, that's what I'm looking for. That's exactly right. Good stuff. Hey, thank you for the call. We appreciate you joining us. John, good work. Also with you. This is the hour of the Dave Ramsey Show and the books.

We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus. This is James Childs, producer of The Dave Ramsey Show. You can listen to Dave, Rachel Cruz, Chris Hogan, or the rest of the Ramsey Network anywhere with the Ramsey Network app on your smartphone. Catch all of our full shows, browse by topic, or send clips to your

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