The Ramsey Show - App - My Husband Charges Me Rent & Utilities (Hour 1)

Episode Date: November 20, 2023

🎵 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, this is The Ramsey Show. It's where we help you, America, help you win in your life, specifically with your money, your relationships, and your work. The phone number is 888-825-5225. It's a free call, 888-825-5225. It's a free call. 888-825-5225. I'm Ken Coleman. John Deloney joins me this hour. And we've got the good doctor is in here. So this is your mental health and relationship expert. And then I'm in the workspace here at Ramsey. So we don't have a money personality on, but that doesn't mean we aren't going to take money calls. Because we are.

We're going to take your money calls, your work-related calls, and then mental health. By the way, they all work together. John and I were talking about this the other day, about how if your work life is sucking, you're going to drag that home with you. And if your home life is on fire, you're bringing that to the office. So all the calls, money, relationships, work, mental health today, we want to help you. You ready to go? Yeah. And by the way, if your money's not going well, there's no way you can be well. That's correct. No matter what you're doing. If you're driving to work and you don't know if

you have the money to put gas in your car, your workday is not going to be great. That's true. It all works together, man. Absolutely right. So let's start it off with Barbara in Reno, Nevada, they tell me. Not Nevada. Barbara, how can we help? Hi, Ken. Hi, Dr. John. How are you? Thank you for having me. Good. We're having fun. What's going on with you today? Well, first, I just want to appreciate you saying Nevada right.

I've got to tell you, I've said it wrong enough to finally get it right. It's Nevada. Even though I want to say Nevada, it's Nevada. Awesome. So the reason I'm calling in is because I have committed plenty of financial infidelity trying to help my father who's disabled. to no income. And it's becoming a problem, obviously, in my marriage because we're now in beef step two. We're wanting to, you know, knock all this debt out, but at the same time, feel kind of emotionally tied, like wanting to help my father, but like wanting to stay faithful to my, you know, my finances. So what has happened up to this point? Give, give the good doctor here a bit of a sample of what financial infidelity has looked like up to this moment. So my father's come to me for loans. Um, and you know, not, we're not talking like big numbers, like thousands of dollars or anything like that, but maybe in the hundreds range.

My husband and I are kind of low income, so it's a big deal when we loan out a couple hundred dollars or whatever. What's your combined income? Right now, we're a one-income household. How come? We're shy of $39,000. Why are you a one-income household, and we're shy of $39,000. Why are you a one-income household? So I'm a stay-at-home mom right now, but I had a work injury, and so I've been kind of stuck at home. What kind of work injury?

So I hurt my back at work work can you get a job working from home uh i was i'm looking into it but um the main thing is that like with my dad it's kind of become a little bit of like i don't i don't know if emotional manipulations become kind of like a strong... Nope. I don't know if that's a strong term. Listen, I just want to stop right there. A hundred percent of this is on you. Yes. Okay. I agree.

So what your dad is doing, what he knows to do, which is to ask you for money and he gets it from you. Right. So if you cut that off or if you say, hey, dad, it's not a good time, he's going to use whatever tactics he knows. And if he was on the phone, I would say stop doing that. But the fact that he gets an exchange, money comes from your account to him, he plays no part in that.

You give it to him for whatever reason. Okay? So whether he's manipulating you, being mean, whatever, you are handing him the money. And at the same time, you're choosing to lie to your husband about it. You're absolutely right. And at the same time, you're choosing to lie to your husband about it. You're absolutely right. So I want you to take full ownership.

The same ownership is, and the reason Ken's asking you about what does this look like, and I'm asking you about working from home, is it's real easy to get into this, well, I can't do this, and I can't do this, but I have to do this. And I just think there's a big box of bull crap to most all of that. You can get a work-from-home job. Millions and millions and millions of people have done it. Yeah, in fact, her answer to your question, you asked her point blank, can you, and you said, Barbara, we're not picking on you, but your response was, well, I'm looking into that.

When the answer was yes or no, and the answer is yes, unless the kids are eating up all of your time, but you worked prior to the back injury, so the question becomes now how long before the back is healed? When does the doctor say you can now resume whatever your previous duties were? The point we're asking here is you've got to make some changes. Number one, we need more income. At this point in Reno, Nevada in 2023, if you have the ability to work at home or in the office, your choice, there's no way you guys

should be making $39,000 gross. That's a separate issue from you giving your dad money. But either way, we've got to make some really clear changes in our life. And it's also easy to get buried by shame. You don't tell the truth one time, and then that piles piles onto this and it piles onto that. And so what I want you to do is to begin to think of yourself, imagining yourself standing up on your own two feet and saying, I'm taking control of all of this. Now, have you, has your husband asked you point blank, where's all this money? And you're like, I don't know. And you've lied to him. Or have you just done this thing quietly? So, um, I, my husband and I started talking about it a few months ago, maybe more than that. Um, cause obviously like things started to get tight and it was like, Oh, well, how come we can't,

you know, afford that. And then, you know, I had to kind of complain about it. And so now we're kind of on, you know, I've've told him like I'm going to put my foot down because you're absolutely right um I the onus is on me like I'm the one that needs to have the backbone to be like you know I'm sorry dad I can't and that's true because we don't we don't have the money but I do agree with you guys I definitely need to um get a you, a job from home. I'm not opposed to that at all. So he, to answer your question, my husband is aware he, you know, we've, I've made, we've made an agreement together that I'm not going to fall back on that. I'm not going to, you know, feel, what's the word? Like, I'm not going to do that anymore.

Barbara, one of the things that you guys probably should do is a budget. Have you guys done an every dollar budget using our world-class app? Or the point is a zero-based budget where we're going to spend every dollar on paper because this is an extra layer of accountability. If you're both communicating on the budget, then the agreement that you just made or you mentioned has more teeth. Have you guys done this? Yes. So we have a budget.

We actually need to plug back into the dollar, every dollar app. Yeah. Because there's not a line item for dad anymore. Right. Or if there is. Or if there is, you agree on it. We're going to send him 50 bucks a month. Yeah.

And that's what we've agreed on. If my dad was disabled and could not eat without support, I would have a hard time not helping. Okay? Yeah, of course. But I would have to sit down and be honest with my wife about it and not lie and hide about it. And maybe I can't send him 500 bucks like I want to, but I can do 50. And I would recommend you and your husband getting on a phone call with dad so you're both on the same page and say, Dad, we've done a budget. We can no longer afford to support you. We can do this,

or we can't do anything. And that's the way it's going to be moving forward. So you're both on the same page. Dad can't pull anybody's heartstrings and then y'all can get lined up and go forward together, but you got to get a job ASAP. Thanks for the call, Barbara. Don't move folks. More of your calls coming up. This is Thesey Show. I'm Ken Coleman, joined by Dr. John Deloney. We are here for you this hour. The phone number to jump in is 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225.

Let's go to Omaha, Nebraska now, where Jack awaits. Jack, how can we help? Hi, so I'm 19, and a couple months ago, I had gotten back from vacation with family, and my car, well, my previous car was a Ford Fusion 2017. I had bought it for $15,000. I took out a loan, probably not the best idea, and within a couple months,

I had the engine overheating all the time and head gasket started blowing so that car i had to like end up fixing which ended up costing around like two to three grand and then there was one issue after another and by uh j July of this year, I had to trade it in and was about $8,000 under on that car loan, and everybody that was helping me find cars and everything ended up telling me that it would be a great idea to get this Hyundai Tucson 2020, which probably shouldn't take other people's advice that aren't in a great position,

but what I did, and now I'm having a car payment. That's right around $500 a month, six or 7% interest and the overall loan's $28,000. And I'm just curious what you guys think the best route would be to get out of this situation. Okay. Do you have any cash at all? I've got a thousand cash. Then I've got right around 18,000 in investments. What kind of investments? Stock market, just a normal ETS, like S&P 500, BTI and QQQ and stuff. Okay. Well, because these are stocks, this is not a retirement account because people call all the time on the show and they'll ask us, should I take money from my 401k or retirement accounts to pay off debt? And the answer is no, those stocks. That's 18. Of course, you're going to take a little hit on that, but that's going to allow you to make a huge dent in this car. And then my guess is you could knock this thing out with that kind of a

headwind. What kind of income do you make? Right now I'm making about $700 a week after tax. Okay. All right. So what do you do for a living? HVAC, and then I got a part-time gas station job. All right. Is that part-time gas station job included in the $2,800 net per month? Yep. Okay. What are you doing for HVAC?

I was going to say, I'm surprised you're not making more money. I had some HVAC guys out, and I sneezed, and they charged me $2,800. Right. So I'm a first're not making more money. I had some HVAC guys out, and I sneezed, and they charged me $2,800. Right. So I'm a first-year guy. I've been here for four months now, and I'm just working on a new residential building, so I'm just making that base. Are you in an apprenticeship? Yep.

Yep. So I'm going to be starting school actually two weeks from now. Okay. Is that the only debt you have? Yep. Oh, yep. Oh, $200 on credit cards, but I pay off. I don't carry a balance month to month. Okay.

All right, John, you want to take on that? Go ahead. Oops, sorry. No, no, go ahead. I am thinking about canceling the credit cards because the cash back, it's 1%. Yeah, that's a game you're going to lose. 100%. That's a game that smart people came up to come after your money not saying you're not smart but you did buy two dumb cars in a row so you're smart your track record money is not

cancel those cards immediately dude just get rid of them yeah and i would sell all your stocks and this is um what we call a knucklehead tax. And you're 19 years old. Dude, I've made stupid decisions with money way, way older than you. So you've learned your lesson here. Don't take money advice from broke people. Right. Don't borrow money on depreciating assets. It's just such a dumb, dumb thing to do.

Right. And man, when you start this apprenticeship, are you going to go up in salary? That's so low. I don't know how you're eating is what I'm saying. Yes. So I started off at $15.50 an hour the first two weeks. Okay. And they bumped me up to $16.50.

And then just last week, they bumped me up an extra $0.50. Okay. I think you've got a path forward. Is that what you want to do? You want to be in that HVAC space? Yeah, because I know there's definitely money to be made after. There absolutely is. It takes some years and any kind of trade to really start making good money.

Yeah, let me tell you what I would do if I were you. I would bounce on the gas station job as soon as we replace the gas station job. So you need every nickel coming in right now because we want to knock this out. But with your skill set, you're handy enough, intelligent enough, two things that I'm not, to fix an HVAC system. There's a lot more hourly opportunities for you out there using your hands, working multiple jobs. If you're a laborer for an electrician or I don't care, I would be in those trades working as much as I can because if you take that stock, the stock dividends, you're going to cash the stock out. I would pay

this truck off and you're going to be out of this thing pretty quickly if you get very serious. The question is, can you put $1,000 a month? I'm just taking minimum a thousand dollars a month, uh, towards this debt. Could you do that? Yeah. Yeah. Because, uh, my only expenses right now, I don't have to pay rent because I live with my dad. Uh, so right now my only expenses is phone bill and cars and insurance.

Yeah. I mean, be working like a madman and knock this payment out. So get rid of the stocks, immediately put it towards the car loan and then get that car loan on a whiteboard or on your mirror and that's the number and you go, okay, if I put $1,000 or $1,500

or $1,200 or $2,000 a month, then I'm paying this thing off. And the nice thing is you got a decent car, a pretty nice car actually, and you've paid it off. And to John's point, you're not going to go down this road again. And the nice thing is you got a decent car, a pretty nice car, actually. Yeah, it's a good car. And you've paid it off. And to John's point, you're not going to go down this road again. Hey, here's what I would do if I were you, to Ken's point. This Saturday, right after Thanksgiving, actually Friday after Thanksgiving.

Black Friday. Okay. I would print off 500 flyers that I will do all sorts of, I'll hang your ceiling fan, I'll put up your Christmas lights, I'll help you get your tree in and I'll throw away your tree when we get done and I'll quit that job. Dude, you can rack up some cash

because you know what my wife said the other day over Christmas break? Hey, I need you to hang these two ceiling fans, I need to change these three light fixtures out and dude, if some kid knocked on my door, some 19-year-old knocked on my door and said, hey, I'll do that for 350, I would hire you right this second, right? To come in on a ladder, hang a ceiling fan, and you know how to do all that stuff.

If you want to drive to Franklin, John and I have jobs for you. Right now. I'm kidding. Don't do that. Please don't do that. Don't drive here. Yeah, we've had people do a lot of stuff. We've had people take us seriously.

I just realized. Exactly. But listen, I would go flyer your neighborhood the day after Thanksgiving, and I'm telling you you're going to get some jobs. Yeah. Enough to quit that secondary job, and you're going to be in people's homes. You're going to be practicing some of those skills you'll use as an HVAC guy. It's going to be fantastic work. Right.

Yeah, you can do this, man. Okay. So you got it. And here's the deal. Sell all your stock today. Get rid of the credit cards. Okay? Let me just walk you through.

How long have you been listening to the show or watching? Oh, man, at least a little bit before I was 18, so probably like a year and a half. All right, so are you familiar with our baby steps? Yep. All right, then that's what you're doing here. You're in baby step two. You've got the $1,000 in savings. Don't touch that.

The stocks. Okay. And then you're getting after it, two and three jobs like John said. And once you get the car paid off, now you're going into baby step three. Let's get three to six months of your expenses in the bank. And then after that, 15% of that check, my friend, and then you're off and running. Okay. And you're going to be a millionaire.

A millionaire HVAC guy who maybe owns his own company and creates jobs. Okay? Right. That's how close you are to changing your life. You got it. And when you do this, you're going to start a company and I want you to take care of the 19 and 20 year olds who come and join your company. When you hire them, I want you to sit down and walk them through what financial freedom actually feels like, because you're going to be on the other side of this. Love that. Jack, you can do this. We're cheering for you. No more listening to people who are broke on their car ideas.

That just never works. But he's going to have a paid-off Hyundai pretty soon. Yeah. And it's 2020. It's going to last another decade. It really will. It'll be fantastic. It really will.

Great stuff. All right. He is Dr. John Deloney. I'm Ken Coleman, and this is The Ramsey Show. Don't move, America. More of your calls coming right up. Hey, you guys. Health insurance costs are only moving one way, and that way isn't down. And if higher costs aren't enough, the wait times to see your doctor are longer,

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Alright, today's question comes from Marie in Arizona. Marie writes, my husband charges me 41% of my pay for rent and utilities. Huh? What? Wow. Lovely fella. I think we can stop right there. I do too.

Wow. I Do you want me to read the rest no you and i are friends we hang out we do you know how rare it is that i'm speechless and i'm just trying to think of what it would be like if i sat down with my wife and said uh i've done the math you owe me anyway i work 30 hours a week and only make 35 000 there's so much wrong here. We went through FPU, so I have been debt-free for years, but my husband has never really been debt-free. You didn't go through FPU.

I used about $80,000 to pay my husband's debts to help him be debt-free several times over the past seven years, but he doesn't stay debt-free. He even racked up $14,000 behind my back. I refuse to pay the debt off after that. I don't have the money to help him, nor do I want to. We keep our money separate now till he cleans up his debt and learns to handle money. It's hard for me to save money

when I'm paying him that much of what I make, but he said if I had to go rent an apartment, I would pay that much or more. Oh, geez. Or more. I feel stuck wow um this guy needs the wiffle ball bad treatment yeah there's very rare smack him around a little bit geez this whole thing is a wreck uh marie if i was you or you were my sister or you were my close friend, I would tell you to head directly

to a marriage counselor or a therapist by yourself, not a marriage counselor, because he's not going to go. Because you're married to a seven-year-old who has access to adult toys and adult financial institutions. And I would ask, how do I begin to separate myself from this marriage? Because this is somebody who has cheated on you over and over and over and over again, over and over again. And there's no way this doesn't just keep happening. and so you're right if you have to go rent an apartment you'd pay that much more anyway cool then that's what i'm gonna go do and it's very very rare that i tell somebody that but this is somebody that i guarantee you i i'd be willing to i don't have a lot but i'd be willing to bet what i got that this isn't the only thing that he is um cheating on you um this is not the only way he's cheating on you um i can feel abusive to you? Yeah, 100%. This kind of behavior doesn't happen if there's not an alcohol issue,

if there's not a drug issue, if there's not somebody on the side issue, if there's not some emotional, psychological abuse. This is a wreck. This doesn't happen in a vacuum like this. And so just the language you're using tells me you have had to separate yourself from this marriage while being stuck inside of it to keep yourself safe and keep yourself fed and keep yourself

housed and it's time for you to be able to breathe and to walk in your own home and drop your shoulders instead of tensing up even more so i'd go sit with a professional and begin to ask that question and if he comes around and says oh she's serious's serious, then good on y'all. I always love a last second. Everybody decides we're going to be grownups, but Marie, you're an abusive mess here. It's time to go sit with a professional ASAP. John, I'm not a fan of separation. It's certainly not divorce. I know there are cases where it needs to happen. This one feels like I'm glad you told her to go see a therapist. My question putting

you on the spot is, yes, for her, but I would tell her, tell me if I'm wrong, push back here. I'd tell her in the course of doing that to go ahead and separate for the point of there's no longer going to be you paying him 41% of your pay for rent utilities. We're going to separate until he gets a worth of reality. Yeah. Because this is crushing her. That's right. They're already living separately.

Do you have a problem with that? No, in fact. Because that feels like he needs a wake-up call. A 30-day separation just to let the smoke clear is often really good. And when you do that, you want to have, for lack of better terms, a contract. Here's when I'm coming back. Here's where we're going to meet at for lunch to talk after 30 days but yeah um this guy's living a delusional life that she has continued to duct tape um yeah together for him so that he can keep flexing and walking around arizona as though he runs stuff

um it's time for her to get out of this. Because this kind of crap escalates, and it just gets worse and worse. It's tough. I hate this for you, Marie. Thank you for the question, Marie. Brian is up next now in Jackson, Mississippi. Brian, how can we help? Hey, guys. Thanks so much.

I hope I've got kind of a fun question here for you. I'm excited about it. So my 16-year- um started started off cutting yards um actually this past summer cut enough yards that he's sitting with a couple thousand dollars in his bank account he bought a zero turn mower so he could cut more yards faster with his own money um he has he's done an incredible job all, while being in band in high school and doing band camp and all the practices and everything that he has with that. So he's doing really awesome with it. And now, because of his hard work ethic, the church that we're at has hired him to be their custodian, which is about maybe a 10-hour-a-week job,

and he makes $200 a week. So he's got an opportunity as a 16-year-old kid to make really, really good money between that and his yard business. Way to go, Dad. Yeah, you're Dad of the Year, too, man, because that kind of stuff doesn't happen in a vacuum. He's watched his old man work really hard, so good for you, man. Well, thank you.

Thank you. I appreciate it. And he does really well when he gets busy. He hires his younger brother, sometimes his younger sister, to come help him. Hey, Brian, we've got about a minute and a half. We want to help you out. What's your question? My question is, I've talked to him about investing, everything with that.

He doesn't know for sure what he wants to do about college, but he's got grades and bands, things'll help a lot of scholarships but uh he wants to do something good with this money that whether it's college whether it's 10 years down the road for a you know for a down payment on the house whether it's you know whatever it is he wants to be smart because he's going to be making more money than the 16-year-old meets. So trying to help him, guide him along with that. I would get him a high-yield savings account, not just your bank savings account. I would shop around. My wife and I have got a great high-yield savings account.

It's paying us close to 6% right now. So I would park that money because of what you just said. He's got a lot of options. And so I wouldn't be investing that right now. I'd be piling it up, stacking it up in a high-yield savings account to get the most out of it. And right now, interest rates are in a really great place for that. So show him how that's working.

Just keep feeding that engine. He's tasting it. He's seeing it. And I'd keep feeding it and just show him, hey, right now, we're going to stack it so that you can use it any way you want to as we get a better view, if you will, of his future. But you're a good dad, Brian. That's a good kid right there.

I've got to get me a zero turn. The problem is I have a postage stamp of a yard. It's a lot of fun. I'm coming out to your house this weekend. This is The Ramsey Show where we help you win with your money, your relationships, and your work. All three of those need to be in sync for you to live a fulfilled, peaceful, enjoyable life, and we want to help you do that. The phone number is 888-825-5225, 888-825-5225. Dr. John Deloney joins me. I'm Ken Coleman, and we are here for you this hour.

Let's go to St. Louis, Missouri. Roy is there. Roy, how can we help? Hello. Hi. Well, let me start with the worst. I was recently diagnosed with a rare cancer. I have about three and a half to five years life expectancy.

My wife and I, just before the diagnosis, I knew this was coming. At the time, I had no insurance. We got a medical divorce, and we put everything that I had of value went to her. So the home was in both our names. It is in her name. We had two rental properties that are now been moved to her name. Also a small business that we have, uh, that was moved to her name. She took, uh, my retirement from a job and what we put together back. And we have about $26,000 in credit card debt combined together.

And I have a student loan for $7,500. We have about. 175,000 put back for retirement and about 10,000 in cash. So my question is what debt should we, we also have HELOC, I'm sorry, HELOC for $40,000. My question is, what debt should we approach first? And if I were to die before my debt was paid off, she would be not responsible for it. Are the rentals cash flowing? Are they paid off? Are those also debt? They're debt. They pay for themselves. They cover the mortgage. They cover insurance and taxes and some basic upkeep each year. So walk me through. I just want the full picture here before

John and I weigh in. Give me the two rental homes, the debt plus what you think you could get for them today. Let's go rental home one. Rental home one, I owe, we owe, we, I guess, or she owes around $40,000, and I believe it would bring $120,000. Okay, number two? Rental house number two, about, owed about $43,000, and it should and it should bring about 120 as well. They're both exactly the same size, square footage, same footprint. And let me make sure I heard you correctly. Those are spitting off just enough to take care of your basics. You're not really in the profit once you look at improvements and things of that nature. Maybe altogether a piece, maybe $1,000 a year, they're clear.

$1,000 a year, both of them combined? Clear, yes. Okay. Well, okay. Let me make sure I got everything else. The lowest debt you have is a $7,500 student loan. Next is the $26,000 credit card debt, if I got that right? Correct. $500 student loan. Next is the $26,000 credit card debt, if I got that right? Correct.

And $40,000 in, excuse me. A HELOC. Thank you. Okay, so, and we have $10,000 in cash. Are you familiar with our baby steps? Before I walk you through this, I don't want to. Yes, I've been listening to the show off and on for several years, and I'm all over the place on the baby steps. All right. So let me just give you the basics, because this is going to walk you through what we would tell you to do. So the first thing we say is we put $1,000 in the bank, which is just a basic starter emergency fund. You've got 10K right now, okay? Then we would say baby step two

is we go smallest to largest debts. We pay off the smallest debt first. That's for momentum purposes. So that means we would take on the $7,500 student loan. Whatever the minimum payment is on that, we would roll that into the credit card debt next once we paid off the $7,500 loan. So we go smallest to largest. That means debt one that we go after first is student loan, debt two, the credit cards, debt three, the HELOC. Does that make sense so far? Yes.

Okay, great. So based on what you've given me, we've got $10,000 in cash. We're going to take $9,000 of that, leaving you $1,000. You still with me? Yes. And we're going to pay off the student loan as soon as the phone calls over. That still leaves you $1,500. You're still tracking with me?

Yes, ma'am. Excellent. So then we're going to take the $1,500 left over, and we're going to put it on the $26,000 total debt. So if those are multiple cards, then you would go at it that way. Do you understand what I'm saying? So is that all one card or multiple cards equaling 26? Two different cards.

All right. What is the debt on each of the two cards? One is around $11,000 and one is around $15,000. Okay, great. So we're still in order. So we're going to go, we pay off, we take the nine out of savings, pay off the student loan. We have $1,500 we put towards the $11,000 credit card. All right. And now that knocks that down to $1,500 we put towards the $11,000 credit card. All right?

And now that knocks that down to $9,500 if I'm keeping score properly. All right? So now you're off and running. Now, John, I would sell one of these rentals immediately, if not sooner, and I would wipe out the rest of this. Just given the situation with your health and what you guys are trying to do, that's what I would do. You don't have a lot left on these homes, but what I would do is sell one. Now, this is me. John can weigh in here in a second. I'd sell one of these, and if they're both worth around $120,000, your numbers, $40,000

is what you got left on the first one. So that leaves you about 80 minus your realtor fee. So let's just say I've got 65, 60,000. I'm going to pay off the rest of the debt. And if I can, most of the other rental home. You see what I'm saying? I'm cleaning all this up so that my wife has no debt at all as soon as possible. We're not going to wait three years. We want to get after this now. That's what I would do. John? I mean, I can't emphasize this enough that you're, like you mentioned it, you're all over the place. Who gave you, this is, I've heard of this on the periphery, but you're the first person I've talked to. Who walked you through this medical divorce? I've been reading about it, and we went and talked to a lawyer, and that's what we kind of came up with. At the time where I was diagnosed, I did not have great insurance at all. And when treatment started in 2022, me not be able to work, I had nothing. I eventually qualified for, you know,

Medicaid, which has taken care of all my medical debt so far. Um, and I just wanted to protect her. And I had been reading where people, where spouses had died with hundreds of thousands, if not millions, in medical debt from an illness. And I knew about this illness in 2021. So I was trying to prepare her and myself for a worst possible outcome. I'm just trying to picture myself having to sit down with my wife and come up with either side of a pretty grim calculation, right? Yeah. And I'm 56 and she's 62.

So, you know, she doesn't have quite a few more years to work. And, you know, of course, you know, we don't want my outcome. So I was just trying to protect her the best that I could. I didn't want everything we've tried to save over the years just go away and be a hit at. Are you confident that they won't come after her anyway, or at least try, tangle her up for years in legal proceedings? According to our lawyer, they cannot come after her, because whatever debt I'm carrying now, if I had medical debt, you know, I me yeah it's just such a disastrous state of the

world we live in right now that that's the yeah that's the choice but that's not the purpose of this call and so I just want to tell you we love you and I hate that you're going through this I mean you're you're staring down the you're staring on a very short runway here. And I want to applaud you for being noble and trying to think of everything. I cannot tell you this enough. Minimize every and all variables. Sell everything you can. Pay off everything you can.

Your wife may not want to be a landlord after she loses you. At least give her that rental house paid off. At least give her that rental house paid off. At least give her her current home paid off. Pay off all of your debts that you can. And that means, yes, like Ken said, sell one of those homes. Clear up every single variable possible. Even if it's not as advantageous,

you want to give your wife as smooth a sailing as possible. Tough call. Thank you, sir. We were praying for you. This is The Ramsey Show. We'll see you next time.