The Ramsey Show - App - My Husband Freaks Out When I Spend Money! (Hour 2)

Episode Date: July 26, 2021

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Music Music Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today, best-selling author, and host of the Dr. John Deloney Show. He talks on the show about life, about anxiety, about boundaries, about relationships.

And we will take your questions, all in the mental health side of things, as well as the money side of things, this hour. We're here to help you with your life and your money. The phone number is 888-825-5225. Jake is with us in Dallas, Texas. Hi, Jake. How are you? Doing well, Dave.

How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up? So about a year ago, me and my wife, we had some stupidness. We still had to get out of our system. We had been married for about 20 minutes and of course had to buy a house and we didn't have a whole lot of money for it so we didn't

put 20% down. We put closer to 5% down and now we have a job offer that's about 50-60 miles away so we're going to be moving out of that house and I'm wondering should we because I've kind of been interested in real estate and running a rental property business because this isn't a college town, should I still kind of keep this house,

since it might be upside down if we tried to sell it with all the fees included, or should I just try and throw as much money at it as I can to be able to sell it and profit a little bit? Yeah. Well, it's not profit. It's just a matter of whether you write a check when you sell it is all. So get with one of our real estate elps at ramsey solutions.com find out what your reality is this market is so hot my guess is you're going to get out of it that's my guess and here's the thing if you were living 50 miles away and working a new job

you would not call me up and say hey dave i want to buy a house 50 miles away with nothing down leverage it all the way up to what oh as much on it as it's worth which means the rent is barely if at all going to cover the payment and so i really want to take on this liability 50 miles away nothing down by the way you wouldn't do that that's effectively what you got here house has has got no equity in it, and by the time you rent it, you're barely going to cover the payment. And by the time it's vacant a time or two, and then the heat and air burps on you, you're going to have a loss for the year. This thing is a problem. It is not a blessing. And I just heard the other day that they, maybe today that they reinstated the mask mandate in California and some

place like you're one COVID away. You're one tick uptick in numbers, et cetera, for colleges going back online. And suddenly this thing that feels like it's a surefire bet in this college town, not being so surefire anymore. The guys I know with college real estate,

and it's not admittedly not a lot. They're getting out just because it's so unsurefire anymore. The guys I know with college real estate, and it's admittedly not a lot, they're getting out just because it's so unsure, uncertain. Yeah. You don't know if the kids are ever going to go back in that classroom again, or if they are, it's going to be an unstable and volatile situation at best. So in and out, in and out, depending on who's panicking where and where we're going to overreact again. But anyway, that's just a sidebar.

Do you have a – I wrote a check one time to get out of the house. I think I took $4,500 or something to closing. And that next 18 months, we ended up paying off six figures of student loan debt. But it was a painful check. It was hard to write. But it was what was right for an upcoming season that ended up freeing us forever. Is it ever okay? I felt good about writing that check even though I didn't feel good about it.

Does that make sense? Yeah, well, no, it was the right thing to do. Right. So, I mean, if you lost $450 a month for 10 months, you'd have broke even. But it's not going to be that bad probably. But you're probably going to lose that much on a house in a year if you're fully leveraged on it. And we know you're fully leveraged because you didn't make any money

above the mortgage, meaning that your payment is so stinking high because you've got the most borrowed possible on it that the rent is going to be right there at it. And you put in the realtor fee, and then you're stuck. And your break-even is just not there. So what you don't want to do is I'm losing $600 a year, and so I'm going to panic and write a $100,000 check. Oh, yeah.

You don't want to go that far on the way. But most of the time, and here's the thing. I've always wanted to own rental real estate. You don't want to own rental real estate that you owe as much on it as it's worth because it does not make money. And this is not fun. This is going through all the hassles of real estate and making no money. That's rental real estate that's fully leveraged. There's no fun in here anyway.

Oh, well, 30 years from now, the renter will have paid it out. Bull crap. You know, that's just not how this works. Ravika is with us in New York City. Hi, Ravika. How are you? Hi, Dave. My name is Rivka.

Thank you so much for taking my call. I'm sorry, Rivka. I butchered your name. I apologize. No problem. It's not an easy name. But thank you so much for taking my call. Sure.

So my question is, my husband and i live in brooklyn okay you you cut you wait a minute stop you cut out when you said my husband and i live in brooklyn and that's all we heard try again okay can you hear me now yes ma'am okay so i'm a public school teacher my husband is a chef we both make a decent living. We're currently on baby step 3B. We're saving for a down payment on a house. And the more I think about the possibility of buying a house in New York, the more I think about how it's a catch-22 where we'll have to factor in the cost of property taxes. The cost of housing is astronomical. And it just seems like we're going to sacrifice our decent living for our quality of life. Less time will be spent with family.

And, you know, now in New York City, they're mandating that teachers and all city workers get the COVID vaccine. So it just seems like they give you a little bit of freedom, and then they take it away. And so I'm just wondering, at what point would you say it's okay to get up, leave New York, and move somewhere else? You've already moved. Yeah, you already left. You're gone.

There's nothing that you described here that's staying. The only thing that's left is your broken heart because you actually love the people in the area. You've got family in the area. You've got history in the area. And your heart is hurting, but you already left. You're gone. Every day you stay from this point forward is a decision to be a little less joyful. Right.

Absolutely. Yeah, you've already analyzed it. Because any time we're going to leave or, you know, leave a job, leave a relationship, leave anything, Henry Cloud talks about this in the book Necessary Endings, which you might want to pick up, by the way. It'd be nice. This is one of my top five of all time. Yeah. Henry's a good friend of John's and mine both, and just a great guy. But in Necessary Endings, he says you end a relationship with a place,

a job, an item, a person, a whatever, when you lose hope that it's going to get better. Right. And so any time after you've lost hope that it's going to get better, it's now lacking in intelligence and wisdom to continue to, I mean, he's not going to beat me anymore. He's not going to beat me anymore. No, I know he's going to beat me. Then it's time to end this relationship.

You've lost hope that it's going to get better. Even in a toxic situation, you've lost hope that it's going to get better. And the reason John and I jumped on this so fast is you very much described that you have lost hope that this is going to get better. They've taken your freedoms. The prices are too high. There's nothing there. The good things there have been outweighed by the bad things long before you made this phone call in your mind. So you've already made the call.

Now you need to act on it. Y'all have a funeral. Then go living somewhere fun. Hey, y'all, this is Christy Wright. As a business coach, wife and mom, I know that running a business can be overwhelming, but it doesn't have to be. That's why I created the Business Boutique Conference to give you the inspiration and practical steps

that you need to chase your version of success. This three-day event will once again be in Nashville on October 14th through the 16th. You can join us in person, or you can attend virtually as a member of our live stream audience. We'll be covering topics like marketing, sales, social media, business money management, and so much more.

And joining me will be Dave Ramsey, Anthony O'Neill, Jasmine Starr, Nona Jones, Bianca Olthoff, and more. Don't miss it. Join us in Nashville, October 14th through the 16th for the Business Boutique Conference. Text Boutique to 33789 to learn more. Again, text Boutique to 33789 to learn more. This event is brought to you by Christian Healthcare Ministries. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today.

This is the Ramsey Show. When it comes to making big money or life moves like buying a house, getting married, having a baby, it's likely the last thing on your mind to make sure you have the right insurance coverage. I understand that. Big changes are overwhelming. But what would be even more overwhelming is to find yourself in a mess with no insurance. Don't do this. If not having the time or energy is what's keeping you from getting the right insurance coverage, get with one of our endorsed local providers, our ELPs. These are independent agents who will shop among a gazillion

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100 satisfaction guarantee means even if you mismeasure you pick the wrong color they'll remake your window blinds for free with free samples free shipping and new promos all the time you'll save even more use the promo code ramsey to get the best possible deal. Today's question comes from Rita in Illinois. She says, we are debt-free, including our home, and have a $1 million net worth. All the credit for our financial security goes to my husband. He's very focused and intentional, but he's so focused on saving that we can't enjoy life. We recently went on a vacation and I begged him to let me take my daughter and her friend by myself so he could stay home.

It was a miserable trip. Our most expensive meal was 70 bucks for four people and he had a meltdown. Spending money affects his mood so badly that we choose not to do things that we enjoy. How can I encourage him to stop worrying about every penny? Wow, Dave. There's a lot here. Yep. Just at the beginning of this thing, when she says all the credit for the financial security goes to my husband, I want to stop that conversation right there and say,

no, it doesn't. Right. Y'all been working on this together. Somehow he's taking all the credit. He also gets all of the blame here. Sounds like somebody wrapped his identity around scarcity and did not get the most important thing, I think, of being a net worth millionaire is now you can give

like nobody else. So it's living in this scarcity, scarcity, scarcity mindset never enough never enough this is mine this is mine um i know several people like this and i can be like this if i am not doing well right and it's all back to that i work this is mine and there's scarcity it can never sometimes it can run out and i'm just going to be in a mess um how do you encourage somebody there this is a psychological issue this is not just about money right on a practical tactical level here's what's not happening the two of you are not sitting down together and looking at a monthly budget and both of you have a vote. He is a control freak.

He is dictating everything, and you are going along with every bit of it. You don't have a voice. You don't have a vote. And then he shows you the net worth and says, look how happy you should be. Right. Look how good a job I did. And it's not his job to do it by himself. So the two of you should work together.

Here's the thing. Spenders, opposites attract. Larry Burkett used to say, if two people just alike get married, one of you is unnecessary. Opposites attract. Spenders attract savers. Nerds attract free spirits. People that are late attract people that are 15 minutes early. I mean, opposites attract.

They just attract. And that's a good thing. You need each other. And it's that old cheesy Jerry Maguire, you complete me thing, right? But that's it. You really do. It's a complementary relationship. And the problem is half of your relationship is not working.

You. You. You got no voice. The part that's supposed to bring joy to this equation is you. The free spirit that enjoys money is you. You're supposed to help him with that. And so that's part of your job. My wife is the natural saver at our house, and I'm in charge of fun.

And so I have to remind her that there is a balance between the wisdom to do a good job of intentionally managing money, saving and investing it, and also have a category in the budget when you're a millionaire to enjoy your money. And that's especially to the husbands out there that live this life. Stop. Give her a voice. Stop it. Sharon's voice speaking into our marriage has caused us to save more my voice has caused us to enjoy and increase generosity more because spenders are generally generous and so the problem is is that you don't have a voice

that's what's really going on here there's a lot of control freaking in the way you in between the lines of these words i think no question about it and again my default setting is to ask what about this relational dynamic makes him have to control freak and at the same time man i want to take guys like this and just shake them and say stop what are you doing what are you doing all this for if you're not going to take your daughter and your wife and a friend out to dinner like the most sacred events is meal time together right exactly teresa's in boston mass hey teresa what's up in your world hi dave thank you so much for taking my call sure how can i help um my question my question i think is more for dr deloney um my husband and I have been working, you know, for years and years and years and working new jobs, getting ahead, getting things done. And just how can we be okay with seeing all the

people taking the unemployment, people taking the government payoffs and not just COVID stuff, but for years we see this going on. It's frustrating. It's hard, you know, when we're just working and doing it all on our own, and we see essentially kind of freeloaders all around us. So are you asking me? Mm-hmm. I will tell you. How can I adjust my attitude? Yeah, I'll tell you what I tell my five-year-old daughter.

When she comes and says, Hank, her older brother, is doing this and this and that and this, and I tell her, Josephine, you take care of you. Ta-da. Any decision to look into someone else's world or situation and choose to let your perception of their world impact your day is a choice that you are choosing to poison your day hoping that they get sick from it.

And I wish it was more difficult than that. It's a choice. Is it frustrating to think and fantasize about what they're not doing or what their life situation is or why they are or not? Yeah, it feels good and it feels, you know, it's a righteous

indignation, right? It feels good. Yeah. But the truth is the freeloader stats and all this kind of, you don't know what their world is. It's just an imagination. Is it frustrating to have taxes taken out? Oh my gosh, it's a beating. I hate it. And it is. And when I drive on a road with a pothole on it, I want to get into it. All that stuff is me choosing to have a less good day. And so what I would tell you is the same thing I tell Josephine is you take care of you. And if you and your husband decide to wake up tomorrow and start looking for where you are driving on roads you didn't build, and when police officers that you didn't hire show up to your house and you can look for things to be positive about or you can let this thing just bury you so teresa i um suffer from exactly the same illness um it pisses me off i'm with you i'm with you okay i don't like it uh to john's point i had to make a decision a few

years ago so i by getting in the business that i'm in and getting up in the spotlight and everybody have an opinion about me now um it made me less intense about having an opinion about other people because everybody's pissed off about something i'm doing all the time. I'm just telling you, okay? I can't wear the right shirt. I can't live in the right house. I can't vote the right way. I can't say the right thing. I'm not Christian enough.

I'm too Christian. I mean, there's something all the time somebody's bitching about when it comes to old Dave. And so what that helped me with was I thought, I just realized, you know what? It's none of their business. And so me worrying about these other people is none of my business. And it helped me to kind of go, I'm not going to spend all my time being one of those guys. Because all those guys are coming at me, Twitter trolls and whatever else, right? And so I just thought, you know what, I'm going to spend all my time lifting things up, adding value.

That's right. And less time being mad. But my nature is to do exactly what you're talking about, kiddo. I don't disagree with you, but it helped me to get pounded by people doing the same thing towards me. That's right. Helped me to go, I'm not doing that anymore. It takes too much of my energy. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today.

Best-selling author and host of The Dr. John Deloney Show. We talk about life and anxiety and boundaries and relationships. In the lobby of Ramsey Solutions on the debt-free stage. Jamie and Diana are with us. Hey, guys, how are you? Good. Wonderful. Good. Where do you guys live?

Northeast Pennsylvania. Ah, fun. Well, good to have you. Welcome to Nashville. And all the way here to do a debt-free scream. How much have you paid off? Well, first I want to state this is all my story. We've been married only three months.

Oh, wow. Congratulations. Well, congrats. Well, thank you. Thank you. And so I paid off $. Oh, wow. Congratulations. Well, congrats. Well, thank you. Thank you. And so I paid off $183,000. Okay. Wow.

Excellent. And how long did it take you to do that? 30 months. Wow. So Diana came into the marriage with no debt. Okay. All right. And you did, too.

Yeah, actually, I became debt-free a week before we got married. Yeah. So it's a break-even. I don't know how we got there, but we both got there, right? Yeah. So, okay, how long did it take? 30 months to do 183. What was your range of income during that two and a half years you were doing this?

Well, this is where I have a long story, but I did a lot of stupid. And in 2008, I'm self-employed, and my income was only like 15 000 because i was living off credit cards i drained my retirement account and then this year my income will be over 200 well over 200 wow and it's growing every year wow what do you do for a living i'm a financial advisor okay all right sounds like a lot of life transformation in that lump in your throat I heard. Yeah, there was. I went through a lot of trials. Like I said, I did a lot of stupid.

Yeah, me too, brother. That's how I can hear it so quickly. I know that feeling. My voice starts to throb. What kind of debt was the $183,000? $160,000 of it was credit card, and then the rest was some loans, back spousal support. I was mad at the world. I refused to pay it, and I finally came to terms with it, got that cleared up.

I owed back rent. I have two offices. I owed back rent on two locations. I got that all caught up. How much of the $183,3 was back spousal support? It was probably, at the peak, it was like 5,000. It wasn't much. No, no, no.

Most of this was credit cards. 160. Okay. So what were you doing that ran up 160,000 worth of credit cards? Stupid. That's kind of obvious. Give me the flavor of stupid here um so diane and i were jehovah's witnesses and um i quit serving god when i fell out of love in my

first marriage and i lived a life of debauchery so i was just like putting stuff on credit card i had my staff was too high at my employment my rent was too high so i was just charging stuff on credit card you know to make cash advances, make payroll. So you were spiraling and it showed up in the money. Yeah. That's what I thought I heard earlier. Okay. I knew you'd been through something.

Okay. And so where was the moment where you turned this? Because this is more than about money. You turned your life. Correct. What turned it? Well, I have two grown children, and they're my why with it. But I was so broke, I started doing Uber at night,

and I started listening to you. And you talked one day about don't be a victim, be a victor. And I played the victim for a while. I blamed the world. I didn't take any responsibility. So when I finally made that change and said, that's me. I got to do this. I can do this.

It's up to my, my future is up to me, not up to somebody else. And then I thought about my kids and what am I leaving them? I was leaving them nothing. Now you left them a hero of an example. You took control of the guy in the mirror. That's the most courageous thing you can do. And those rains can be hard. So what was that moment for you?

What was the moment you woke up and looked in the mirror and said, today is the day, no more? I don't remember the exact moment. I remember Dave talks about having that moment you're crying in the shower. I've had those because I would always listen to your show every day and those debt-free screams would get me and i i would cry frequently because i would say to myself that's me i'm going to do that i'm going to do that but the moment it's hard to define the moment i had several turning points in there that happened that I can mention. Sure.

And how long have you and Diana been seeing each other? Just over a year, and then we got married in April. Okay. Well, congratulations again. Thank you. So, Diana, you caught him in the middle of a whirlwind, huh? Yes, I did. I'm like, who are you? What is going on?

Yeah, but you caught him on, really, he was on the way out by the time you saw him. Yeah. so you could see where this was going in a positive way absolutely yeah so what somebody's listening to this millions of people but somebody is listening to this and they cried this morning on the way to work and they're a tough guy and they think they've got it all figured out they're spinning 500 plates and one's about to drop. What would you tell them? Never give up. And it's not too late.

I remember in FPU, I think it was Lesson 2, the old one we were talking about, Dave, you mentioned about Colonel Sanders didn't start doing chicken until he was in his 60s. Grandma Moses started painting. That hit me. I'm in my 50s, and here I am. I'm at the bottom. It's never too late.

Wow. $15,000 to 200-plus, new marriage, new life, new outlook. Yeah. It's a whole thing, isn't it? Yeah. It really is. Yeah. Congratulations.

Thank you. Very well done. You are a hero, man. The money piece is the is the uh byproduct it's all of you changing you and god getting involved in your life and changing your life i mean this is you turn back over to him and that's uh and you know and the bonus prize is diana but i mean the getting out of debt is not the thing in his story it's the thing that happened because he changed absolutely it happens all the time that way but this one's real severe

but i sense in you a courage to come up here and tell this story that is not common of a 50 plus year old man from northern pennsylvania that fell on his face and here you are in front of the whole world saying I fell and I got back up and it took some other people but here I am and there's a level of courage to you that's coming through this conversation that I want everyone listening to this to hear. It's conviction.

You're a strong, powerful man and I'm proud of you. Thank you. It's awesome what you've done. Thank you. And your kids and your kids and their kids and their kids are gonna have their lives changed because of what you did and i'm proud of you man yeah and not not anything to do with the money nope the money who cares about the money making 35 000 standing the way you're standing and they'd still be proud of you yeah the example it's awesome it's the example well done very well done hero all. I love it. Diana, you hitched yourself to a good one.

Way to go, man. And he hitched himself to a good one, too. Exactly. So we got a copy of the legacy journey for you because that's what you've done. You've changed your whole life and your legacy, and that's the next chapter in your story to finish this redemption story that is you. Well done. Very well done. A copy of the totem money makeover to give away to somebody who's just getting started.

Maybe they're crying in the shower or driving their uber or whatever i don't know you'll run into them you'll know when when you're supposed to give that book away it'd be good stuff so very very well done and diane's gonna celebrate diana's gonna celebrate with him and scream as well jamie and diana from pennsylvania 18,000 paid off in 30 months, making nowadays $200,000, up from $15,000. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. Three, two, one. We're debt-free!

We're debt-free! Yeah! Uh-huh! He brought that one from his guts. Well, that's where it came from. That came from inside. That came from a long road. Wow. And, you know, he's right.

Dave, I'm speechless. You're speechless. There's time on this show when I know that all these things I say, that I'm a freaking cheese factory, and then there's a time that God is saying that and whispering it directly in your ear that you are not a victim. You are a victor. That's right. You can do what Jamie did.

You're not too old. You're not too fat. You're not too late. You're not too whatever you think you are. You can. You can do it. Today. Is it too fat. You're not too late. You're not too whatever you think you are. You can. You can do it. Today. Is it going to be easy?

No. Today. But it starts because Jamie was here today. It starts right now. Right now. And I'm talking to you. You. And you know exactly who I'm talking to.

This is the Ramsey Show. thank you for joining us america dr john deloney ramsey personality is my co-host today peak real estate season is just around the corner and this year things are different it's we're living in peak real estate season it's gonna say what say, what does that even mean? What does that mean? Home prices are crazy. Competition between buyers is intense. Crazy. You mess up in a deal right now, it could be a six-figure mistake. This is not amateur hour. You do not want your Uncle Charlie, who just got his license and sold one house,

selling your most expensive asset. Dumb idea. Or your friend's sister. I know Charlie is a sweet guy, but he is not a pro. And I don't care if it makes your sister mad no we're not doing it uncle charlie we love you see you at christmas we're gonna get a real realtor okay get a good i mean get somebody sells about a bazillion houses right don't jump head first into something you don't understand get with one of our endorsed local providers they are all high

octane high protein a monkey can sell a house in this market but that does not mean it's going to sell it for the most and not going to mean you don't pay too much and don't mean you're going to get sideways in a wicked weird deal go to ramsey solutions.com slash agent get one of our elps ramsey solutions.com slash agent lindsey is in raleigh hey l Lindsay, welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi. I'm so excited to be talking to you guys. You too. What's up? So, my daughter is about to turn one, so this is kind of thinking far in the future, but you often talk about how more is caught than taught, and my

husband and I grew up watching our parents put their tithe in the offering plate. And now my husband and I are paying our tithe like once a month online. So I was wondering if you had any ideas short of starting to write checks again. No, I would not do that. Show our daughter.

You know, that we t tied instead of just talking about it well what i did when uh you know rachel and denise uh even daniel but more rachel and denise were uh 10 or 12 they graduated to sit at the kitchen table when I, in quotes, did the bills. You know what I'm talking about, right? We used to sit down with a stack of bills at the kitchen table with a checkbook. And we had this thing called a checkbook register, and you would balance the checkbook. Now, this is a long time ago. Those young women are in their 30s now, okay? But no one does that anymore.

I don't balance my checkbook physically anymore. It's done online, obviously. I reconcile my checkbook. You don't even call it balance anymore, probably. And I don't pay my electric bill with a check anymore. But I remember distinctly, Denise, my oldest, the first time she had an aha moment, and it sounds like it's not much money today, but it was a long time ago. I wrote a check for 238 dollars for the electric

bill and she saw the amount and i used to let them write out the checks and then i would sign them so the electric company would get these checks from a third grader you know it's fabulous but they cash right so and i would sign them and when she wrote out 238 dollars her eyes got big and she's like oh man so i'm thinking to myself when you ask this question, what's the modern-day equivalent of letting your kid pay the electric bill so they have a, dad, no wonder you tell us to shut the door because it's $238. What's the modern-day equivalent when she did that? Because her eyes got big, and she's like, suddenly understood why I said

you weren't raised in a barn, shut the dadgum door. You're air conditioning the backyard, like every one of us have told every kid since time began, right? And so, but the little light bulb, no pun intended, went on over her head, and she said, okay, this is expensive. Same thing happens with giving. When you watched your parents put it in the tray in the offering, same thing happens with Rachel.

When she's doing a talk on giving, she talks about remembering sitting on my knee or sitting beside me in church we're all dressed up back in the day used to dress up to go to church and you know she watched me put the physical check in like you're asking about what's the modern day equivalent of that i guess it's filling out the little thing online with your keyboard and hitting submit i can tell you what we do in our house okay and we we are intentional about cash because i want them to see it and so we actually do pull out a little bit of money and sometimes you can at a grocery store um you can take 20 or 50 bucks over and you know if that way you don't have to go to a bank um when you're just using your debit card but we use the my kids both

have the ramsey banks here and it's become so ingrained in our conversation. They know that the giving money... But how do they observe you giving? Oh, they... That's our question. Okay, gotcha. So teach me about saving and giving, and they actually put it in the collection plate,

but we sit down, and Hank's old enough now. He's 11. Oh, he rolls his eyes, but he sits down and watches us pay the bills, and so he'll watch us... That's online. He'll watch us click it. He'll show us, look at the budget.

This is how much we're giving. So the amount in relation to, especially now that he knows, here's what he gets paid for mowing the yard. And that's how much electric costs. And that's how much you are giving to church. That's how he starts to see that. But we sit down and he looks at the computer screen with me. It's called teaching them the value of a dollar. It's an old saying that dads used to say in the 50s. And those

of us that are throwbacks still say stuff like that. So I think the key here is not overthinking it, but however you do it, involve them in that rhythm. Yeah, they need to, because here's the thing, Hank's 11 and he has never, for him to experience a checkbook would be more foreign than for him to experience giving. So let him experience it the way he experiences everything else in his life, which is freaking online. Right. You know, so he's going to hit submit, and that's going to penetrate his heart and soul faster

than some weird analog version of something we remember from our childhood. So, I mean, the way he does everything is online, so why wouldn't he do giving online? But he also, I want him to participate in giving of his own. Oh, that's, yeah, that's building their little muscle. But she's saying she saw more caught than taught. She saw it modeled. How do I model it? That's right.

And that's what I'm leaning in on. So that's a really, really good question. I love it, yeah. And, of course, the other thing is this. We're not going to make any of this legalistic it's all going to be we're trying to create the spirit around this which is what god was doing when he taught us to tell it and that's where the giving conversation also i bring hank over and let him see whenever we tip in a restaurant i want him to see what the bill was and then how much we're tipping and i'm

an obnoxious tip that's a big deal to me. Those people get treated like trash. And so I want – it's giving – Obnoxiously good tipper. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just want to be clear. Yeah, I tip too much. I'll help you with your hate mail, okay?

Thank you. No, I tip too much, but I want him to see that. And it's an ethos of giving, like you said. It's a way of living. It's a way of feeling the rhythm of life. We hold this with an open hand. That right it's not mine it's not my stuff called money is it's for enjoyment and generosity and blessings and and you know and we save some of it why so we can have more enjoyment and generosity and blessings it's the only point

in raising your net worth right it's not just because you want to become a baby steps millionaire it's wonderful but why but why what But why? What's the point? What's the point? Yeah, so you can tip outrageously, wonderfully. Yeah. Obnoxiously. Yeah, that's a great one. I like that. That's a good question, Lindsay. I love that question, Lindsay. So I'd be interested to see, like, Rachel, I need, I

wish she was sitting here. I would ask her, because I don't know. I mean, I know they're teaching the kids out of the financial piece how to do this stuff, but I don't know how much they're looking over, like little Amelia's looking over Winston or Rachel's shoulders when they're actually doing their giving, because I guarantee you Winston does that online. Oh, yeah. I just wonder in five, ten years, will you walk through your living room and say, hey,

Alexis, send the church $1,000. I'm not going to have Alexis do anything in my life. Oh, me neither, brother. Me neither. They're listening to me. Hey, Alexis, listen to the Dave Ramsey show. Hey, Alexis, listen to the Ramsey show. I just turned on stuff everywhere in America just then.

It's actually one of those little scripts we put it in there. It's awesome. If I just said, hey, Alexis, listen to John Deloney's show, it would say, sorry, what show is that? It'd say, you and five, no, 50 million others. I mean, I've never seen anything like your show take off. All kidding aside, five? No, that's right. Fifty million others. I mean, I've never seen anything like your show take off. All kidding aside, you always act like there's four people listening when we know there's millions. Our numbers say how popular this show is.

But that's a great segue, a great question, because here's the thing. Is there a certain technology that is right or wrong when it comes to handling your money? No, there is not. What you've got to be careful with in your own life and what you're modeling before your kids is what is it doing to your psyche? Because any time that the technology makes it easier for you to spend money and your brain does not register the pain, that your pain centers are not activated, that you just did spending, that's called low friction in marketing. And we make it really where you don't feel the pain to buy something, you will buy more of it. Click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click.

Prime delivered tomorrow. We'll deliver it this afternoon on your porch. That's right. We wouldn't want you to be inconvenienced by waiting even overnight. Before the sun goes down, we will bring you stuff. And, oh, by the way, did you notice that card that was already registered in your little prom account just got ding-dinged? Oh, I think I'll take two. I'll have three.

See, that's a problem. That's a problem. That puts this hour of the Ramsey Show every week. And a lot of those people listen on one of our 600-plus radio stations across the country. To find a station near you, head to theramseyshow.com.