The Ramsey Show - App - My Husband Has a Spending Problem (Hour 2)

Episode Date: October 19, 2023

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Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Jade Warshaw, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. I'm Dave Ramsey. The phone number is 888-825-5225. Jeff's in Indianapolis. Hi, Jeff.
Starting point is 00:00:50 Welcome to The Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave. Pleasure to talk with you. You too. What's up? My wife and I are in our early 70s. My son lives about a mile from us. He's in his early 40s.
Starting point is 00:01:02 He relocated back here to Indiana from California about 11 years ago from L.A. where he was working in the music business. And he was going to take over my insurance agency a few years. I retired about nine years ago. So he did take that over. He got into tax problems when he was in California because he was working for a music composer that actually treated him as an employee but paid him as an independent contractor, so he didn't know anything
Starting point is 00:01:29 about paying taxes. Got behind with the state and the IRS, end up owing them 30 or 40 grand, I think. We helped him work out a structured repayment plan as a condition to him coming back and getting into insurance. And that's been paid through wage garnishments since then. I discussed with him before he came back the need to stay on top of his taxes and finances because he's never been good with money. During that period of time, many times I'd ask him if he was on this and he'd just blow up and wouldn't talk to me about it. Three months ago, he called us and told us that he was in tax debt to the IRS again and wanted his mom and I to bail him out, basically, using our share of our estate when we die. We thought he probably owed about $50,000 or $60,000.
Starting point is 00:02:20 Turns out he hasn't filed any state or federal tax returns for the past four years, nor has he paid any estimated taxes for 2023. We're meeting with our accountant next Thursday to go over all this to get specific numbers, but I'm guessing from what I've seen, it's going to be over $200,000, and about half of that is just interest and penalties. He also hasn't paid any 941 withholding or state unemployment tax. He has no business being self-employed, obviously. So my question is, we have the assets to do that, but we would have to sell off property and mutual funds. I don't know if you need our income or what exactly. What's your net worth?
Starting point is 00:03:04 Net worth is probably about $2.3 million. And about roughly half of that is in two pieces of real estate, our residence here in Indiana and another home we own in Florida. I'm sorry, Jeff. Including the real estate, the majority of our assets are in IRAs, Roths, and 403Bs from what my wife taught. We've got about $130,000 in a money market fund. What's his income at the insurance company? Well, he just resigned from that position because after he took it over, he ran it into the ground. He couldn't make a go of it. Right now, he's doing a sales job, and it seems to be going
Starting point is 00:03:43 pretty well, but he's only been doing it a couple of months. He's making about $75,000 a year plus bonuses. Is he married? He's not married. He has an 8-year-old granddaughter that we absolutely love and spends a lot of time with us. He was going to get married, but they did it kind of reverse. They got pregnant first, and then they didn't get along, so they didn't get married.
Starting point is 00:04:09 So both of them are here in town, and both of them have jobs or own businesses. And they get along fine. We all get along fine. The insurance agency was yours, and you sold it or gave it to him? I actually worked for a captive company so they actually owned it and when i left they paid me a percentage of my renewals and that's what one of the cornerstones of my retirement now so i didn't have a say in where so you had a book of business but what did he come into he didn't take over your book did he he did pretty much not all of it
Starting point is 00:04:44 because they gave something. It was a big agency, so they split it up among other agents. They gave him about half of it. Okay. And he ran your book into the ground. Okay. Ran into the ground. Okay. Jeff, does he have any other debt besides the tax debt that you know of? Do you know what that number looks like? I don't think he owes it. He rents. He doesn't own a home. I don't think he owes anything else. He doesn't have credit card debts or tax debts, the only one that I'm aware of. I hear you're disgust for his behavior in your voice. And I also hear a dad that loves his son even though he's been stupid.
Starting point is 00:05:22 You hear very well. So I guess there's two options one is you bail him out which doesn't sound real appealing um if you don't bail him out what happens he just has to work with the irs and for a lot of years and yeah actually grow up yeah we got the thing is davis this has happened so many times i can't count them but you've been there to bail them out every time yeah and we had to take him out of high school because of his behavior we had to send him out to a survival camp in idaho then we put him in a private school in california and all that required a second mortgage on our house at the time uh we bailed him out of a car loan that he didn't keep up with that I co-signed for. It's just been one thing after another.
Starting point is 00:06:11 He just is very, very— I'm okay with no being the answer. If it were me, I wouldn't do it. Here's what I'm going to suggest. He got a severance package from the insurance company that's going to pay out about $30,000 over the next five years, about $6,000
Starting point is 00:06:32 a year. I told him that we would help him out if he would sign that over to me to pay back what we're going to advance him, but I initially thought we could do the whole amount. I don't think you should do any of that, Jeff. I really don't. That's the way I think. That's the way I amount. I don't think you should do any of that, Jeff. I really don't. That's the way I think. That's the way I think. I think that he's grown and I think that
Starting point is 00:06:49 he makes a living. He's not poverty level. There's nothing wrong with him. I think he just needs to be a man and do man things. I totally agree with you. And I think you're a great dad. Thank you. There's one other question to kind of take this out a little further because I don't think my son realizes how bad a position he's in. If he pays this over the next 20 or 30 years, he still may not have it paid off when we die. And that's all right. Yeah, but we have all of our assets and our real estate is in trust,
Starting point is 00:07:28 and my daughter is the trustee and the executor, and we currently put a clause in our will that allowed my son to take our house here as part of his settlement of the estate because he loves our home. But I'm concerned that if he doesn't have this paid off, I don't even know that I want to leave that share of the estate because he loves our home but i'm concerned that if he doesn't have this paid off i don't even know that i want to leave that share of the estate to him because i think the irs could put a lien on that they can and after after he becomes the owner they can yeah yeah and i want to make sure that i mean ultimately it was for him but it's ultimately also to go to our granddaughter and i don't want to eat up our share of that estate i think you can i think these are two separate questions do you help him today they are yeah do you help him today jade and i are both saying sadly i'm probably wouldn't i probably
Starting point is 00:08:16 wouldn't that's the way i'm thinking and then uh do i change the d change the will uh in a few years i might you can change it now. You can change it later. Can he put something in there that says if the debt's not paid off, the home goes elsewhere until the debt is paid off? You could leave it in trust for the granddaughter and bypass it, bypass the kid that can't seem to find his way. Yeah, that's so sad. This is The Ramsey Show. MC show. Hey guys, if you like this show, you can help us.
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Starting point is 00:09:38 Gesundheit. Sorry about that. We don't have $300 million to put into marketing around here. So you guys are it. If you want this show and this whole movement to grow, spread the word, baby. Thank you. All right. Dan's in Chicago. Hi, Dan.
Starting point is 00:09:54 How are you? Not too bad. How about yourself? Better than I deserve. What's up? I have a question. I've been listening to you for, uh, probably about four or five months now, and you're probably going to yell at me, but I have several whole life policies. And after listening to you and doing a lot of research, come to realize how poor of an investment this is.
Starting point is 00:10:16 Sorry, it's not an investment, an expense. But wondering if we do decide to cancel our policies, what we should do, whether we should leave the policies in place and just keep the lower death benefit, or if we should take the cash render value and invest that someplace else. First thing you do is make sure you have the proper amount of life insurance in place and term life insurance. Go to an independent broker, somebody like Zander, and get the best possible price on that. Once that's in place, we can talk about canceling these,
Starting point is 00:10:48 and then I would cancel them completely. I'm not sort of playing with rattlesnakes. Right, yeah. I've already actually gone on to Zander and have several quotes, so I'm just looking at the best one, ready to get that in place. And then, like I said, she will cancel it. Just cancel it. And then drop some cash value into your hand, and then wherever you are on the baby steps you'll
Starting point is 00:11:09 take that cash value and advance your baby steps how much money do you think it'll be uh it will be roughly 115 000 in cash runner value. Where are you in the baby steps? We're in step seven. The house is paid off? Sorry, step six. What do you own your home? Roughly $200,000. We're halfway there.
Starting point is 00:11:37 This will just advance that then. Okay. I thought I read someplace that there is a time frame where you have to have a policy in place for a certain number of years before you can take the cash rent or value out, otherwise you get hit with a penalty. Is that accurate? No. No. Your basis in a whole life policy is what you've put into it. And anything you take out that's more than that is a gain.
Starting point is 00:12:02 But very seldom do you get more out than you put in because the fees are so high and it's such a horrible product so you actually actually lose money almost every time so it's not a tax and we're not a taxable event right yeah and we have lost money up to this point which is uh frustrating i'm glad i started listening to you guys um i'm, how much have you put in? Roughly $170,000. Wow. And get $115,000 out. Wow. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:28 Yeah, that's so that, you know, you do not have a taxable event, period. It's not a, there's no, because it's not an investment, so it's not a, you don't approach it like a gain. If you had a capital gain investment, if you've not owned it one year, capital gains don't apply. Ordinary income applies. But this is not an investment, so that does not come up. If you bought a whole life policy this year and you cashed it out this year, capital gains calculation does not apply to that. It's simply your basis is what you paid for it. Are you getting out more or less than what you paid in?
Starting point is 00:13:03 That's the simple calculation on the taxes so you're fine you're fine you're not going to be taxes you're not fine but you're not going to be taxes no he's not fine he he lost a lot of money it's so sad it's a horrible thing eli is in little rock arkansas hi eli how are you hi dave and jade it's an honor to talk to you how are y'all better than we we deserve. What's up? Yeah, so I just had a quick question. My wife and I have a vehicle that is a $20,000 car loan. We are in baby step number two. We have our $1,000 safety net and everything.
Starting point is 00:13:38 My question is about the vehicle. What we have is we have $20,000 in student loans to pay off, and we have the vehicle, which has a $20,000 note on it. The payment per month is $355. We make between $6,000 and $7,000 a month. We're both in education. So my question is what to do with that vehicle. We can afford the payment.
Starting point is 00:14:01 You know, obviously we can pay it off. Or I know, Dave, I know you hate brand-new cars. We did buy the car brand-new, but that was before we really started with this whole process. Yeah, that's their next purchase. We worry about that. So the way we look at cars is two things. If all of the things you own that have wheels and motors added up equals less than half your annual income, you're okay. This one is.
Starting point is 00:14:24 Do you have an expensive car in the second car? No, sir. Our second car, there's no note on it. No, I'm asking what its value is. Oh, the value. The value of that car, I blue-booked it. It's around $19,000. Okay, so you've got $40,000 worth of vehicles.
Starting point is 00:14:38 You make $85,000 a year, so you're about half. You don't need to buy anything else with a dadgum motor, I can tell you that. Right, yeah, I know. That's about where you are. We you don't need to buy anything else with a dadgum motor. I can tell you that. Right. Yeah, I know. That's about where you are. We're definitely not going in any deeper. That's a fact. Then the second thing is, can I be debt-free other than the house, baby step two, in two years or less?
Starting point is 00:14:55 Can you pay off $40,000 in two years or less? I believe so, yes, sir. I think you can, too. So if you want to struggle through and keep the car, you can. If you want to move down in car and accelerate struggle through and keep the car, you can. If you want to move down in car and accelerate this process by about six months, you could do that. But I think you've got two years of plowing through $40,000 worth of debt, make an 80. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:17 All right. What do you think you'll do? I'd probably plow through. What are you going to do? I think we'll plow through. We have two small children. Um, and, um, you know, it's kind of the, the car, it's a, it's a great car. It's been a great car for us. We've had no issues with it. I just, I'm to that point where I'm just like, Oh, I just want to get done with this, you know? Um, but I think that if we were to, we were, if we were to sell it, we would take a little bit of a hit. Um, And I ultimately think that we would be in this situation where we'd be looking for something.
Starting point is 00:15:48 It needs to be – my wife and I both live – we live about three hours from our family. So we take quite a few little trips to see our parents and things like that. So we need some – we want something reliable, but, you know, I'm just – I wanted your input. I figured that we – Yeah, I mean, you you know you need to get that every dollar budget dialed in and crank that lifestyle down yeah get that crank that lifestyle down and you got to be at a two thousand dollar a month burn rate yeah and you might be able to crank it up and keep the car by adding more income and i mean are you guys doing anything
Starting point is 00:16:19 extra to bring in income not at this moment um I know it sounds kind of funny, but we actually have, in the past, we've donated plasma. We have a plasma center right down the road. And you wouldn't believe how much people pay for plasma. I hear. Not as much as they'll pay you to tutor. No, you're right about that. You're right about that. And there's no needles involved.
Starting point is 00:16:40 Yeah. Shouldn't be in theory anyway. That's funny yuck look people are out here giving plasma and making a hundred dollars i don't know per vial i don't know how they do it but i'm like i'd rather deliver pizzas yeah i think i think i think i'm well yeah guys, here's the deal. The car, I love cars. I'm just a boy. I like cars with big mufflers and loud engines. I'm a redneck boy. So I'm all about cars, but here's the thing.
Starting point is 00:17:15 It's the largest thing that you and I buy that goes down in value. And the average new car loses 60% to 70 percent of its value in the first three years that means you're turning thirty thousand dollars into twelve thousand dollars and then scratching your head and wondering why you're broke see what you ought to do if you're driving one of those things you got to roll down the window just throw hundred dollar bills out as you're going down the road because that's basically what's happening. And so if you're driving a $50,000 car and you make $60,000, you're broke people and you're always going to be broke people because you have too much of your mathematical juice tied up in something that's going down in value.
Starting point is 00:18:04 And I love cars. I get it. I get the fever. Mathematical juice tied up in something that's going down in value. Wow. And I love cars. I get it. I get the fever. I understand. But it's the dumbest thing we do with money, you guys. It's particularly a middle class dumb thing to do. This is The Ramsey Show.
Starting point is 00:18:27 Jade Walsh, all Ramsey personalities, my co-host today. you for being with us caitlin is in milwaukee wisconsin hi caitlin how are you good how are you better than i deserve what's up um so i guess to get short with it i need to figure out how to essentially get my spouse he is mentally on board with me, but not physically on board with me in not just baby steps, but financial aspects in general. He has a bit of a addiction with instant gratification. Okay. It's not an addiction.
Starting point is 00:19:04 It's not an addiction. It's just immaturity. That's a very good point. How old is he? He has the same age as me. He's 32. Okay. How does that manifest? What does it look like, his spending? We'll put it in addiction for quotes right now. Sure. So he's got a little bit better. I'll give him that credit, but he is pretty selfish. Some examples are instead of, I mean, the family car was a decent
Starting point is 00:19:34 family car, one that fits the kids. We unfortunately outgrew it, not to him knowing. But then he, instead of just leaving it as a daily, he needed to lower it, which makes it more expensive and ruins the car more. Then he needed to buy a customized steering wheel that absolutely wasn't needed. Then he needed to do this and he needed that. He souped up your family minivan? Wow. So not the minivan.
Starting point is 00:19:59 It was a wagon. It was his daily that would still fit us at the time. Not anymore, but at the time would fit all of us. And then I had like a daily that would fit all of us. And is he creating debt while doing this? Oh, I can't even argue. I can't even like fathom the amount. Like being a person that before I met him, I bought my own house as a single mom.
Starting point is 00:20:21 It completely destroys me. Like I have so much stress from everything he's done. Actually, the last year I spent curing like stress seizures. Wow. Okay. You said you had children. How many? We have three children.
Starting point is 00:20:37 One of them is not biologically his, but he since day one has taken care of her like he has his. She has his. Okay. All right. Well, this is not a money problem. It's not a budget problem. This is a marriage problem. No.
Starting point is 00:20:51 It's a marriage problem. And so we end up backing into those sometimes through budgeting and that kind of stuff. But budgets don't control people. People control budgets. Or in some cases don't do a budget. Or in some cases, don't do a budget, or in some cases, don't live with a budget. But budgets, they don't have any magic powers. It's just simply a roadmap.
Starting point is 00:21:13 Maps don't control people. You just look at the roadmap, and am I going to go down the road or not? You know, that's all a budget is. It's just a map. And wives don't control husbands, and husbands don't control wives as much as they'd like to and as much as it would be awesome if we could pull it off
Starting point is 00:21:31 we just can't do it um and so what we've got here is as you said i you know selfish and immature guy who's putting his own impulses ahead of the good of his family. Have you guys reached out to a counselor? That's what you need. Yes. Yes. So we've done marriage counseling already that I set up that then he denied. You're not done.
Starting point is 00:21:57 And then he set up marriage counseling, but he was ready. No, I know. So we've done these things because that's where it's led to. Did he go? He went two times to the one I set up and then he denied going because he was essentially being blamed for things and he didn't like it. He's getting defensive and it's like, well, not saying that I'm perfect, but, you know, your selfish habits are creating an issue. Then he set up marriage counseling. He also more recently is going
Starting point is 00:22:25 back to therapy for himself years ago, but he is going now. And now he is seeing a, and I don't remember the difference between psychiatrists and psychologists, but technically I guess seeing both. So he's got a lot of stuff going on, huh? Unfortunately, yes. Yeah. The first thing you said when you said, you said hey we went to counseling he didn't like my counselor because this isn't that i will say both spouses need to feel good with the counselor because you know sam and i you know we we've gone to counselors and it's been like i don't like her or i didn't like him and you do sometimes have but if you don't like them because they're telling you the truth, that's a problem. Yeah, that is a problem. Yes.
Starting point is 00:23:06 I mean, he also didn't like it if a guy didn't get his name right a couple times, which I won't argue, you know, whatever. But yeah, it was mostly because of he's telling him the truth and he doesn't want to hear it. Yeah, that's mostly. So he is going and he is going for himself. That's good. I think the hard part with this is this is not necessarily going to be mean that
Starting point is 00:23:27 next week things are different right like this is something that's going to play out over time um and he's still actively creating debt for your family at this moment in time right or no unfortunately yes even though we try to work out things that you know give him leniency isn't really the word um and the debt if he's if he's running these things up on credit cards is your name on the credit card or is it just these are cards that he's pulling out and he's doing this on his own so he he had like one in my name that he put in the collections that then i paid off because i was also on it trying to help him build credit from when we first got married. Okay. And that one's closed. Yep. And that one's closed. He did have, he's got three of his own. He hasn't touched credit cards in a couple of years. And then he,
Starting point is 00:24:17 then I, you know, he, we kind of discussed how we're going to make things work. And I asked if he was ready. And so he got a $300 limit back like two weeks ago and he racked that up plus he had $100 cash so he spent $400 about five days so I took the credit card away I was like you clearly aren't ready you told me you're ready well I think I think as a rule of thumb in your family in general you need to cut up all the credit cards and no one uses them no one uses any more credit cards. So that's thing one is we just don't operate on debt anymore. I mean, my screen says that, you know, if you're trying to do the baby steps, like you definitely cannot use credit cards anymore. So those get cut up. And then after that, yeah, you probably do need to have a really
Starting point is 00:24:59 a real conversation about how his access is to this money if he's just going to go off and spend five and six hundred. I mean, that is that's a scary position to be in, Dave. Caitlin, at some point through you working with a counselor or working and or working with his counselor, the day is going to come and it's coming pretty soon based on the tone of your voice that you're finally going to say something like, if we can't get on the same page with money and you can't be a grown man and take care of your family instead of buying freaking steering wheels, then I'm not going to be able to be here anymore because you're terrifying me. I am awake at night.
Starting point is 00:25:45 I've never been in debt like this. Your out-of-control, childish behavior with money is terrifying me. I can't live like this. So if you can't be a grown man and learn to control your impulses, you're not a 12-year-old little boy. You're acting like one. But if you can't be a grown man and we can't get a bead on, we're going to manage our income together for the good of this family
Starting point is 00:26:20 that will include you doing some fun things and me doing some fun things, but it's going to include being a freaking responsible grown-up. And if we can't get to that point, I'm not going to be able to be here. And you need the guidance of a good counselor on how to say that and when to say that. I'm not suggesting you hang up the phone and say, Dave Ramsey said that. But I'm telling you, if you do not get there systematically and begin to put that in front of him, one day here's what's going to happen. And I know this because I've counseled thousands of couples.
Starting point is 00:26:56 You're going to have that little switch that particularly ladies have down inside them, and it's going to blow a fuse and you're going to be done and no amount of talking and no amount of conjoling and no amount of logic and no amount of preachers and no amount of nothing is going to get you back in the marriage you're going to wave bye-bye because you're going to blow a gasket and you will have had it and i've tried to reel these ladies back in after they've blown it and show them that the guy gave he gave in he gave in too late she's gone all you see is her back walking away she's done you wait you just kept on you kept on you kept on you kept on until she blows a freaking gasket and you're it's in your voice i can hear it so you need to
Starting point is 00:27:47 keep away from that gasket blowing by getting some coaching on how to bring him to bear before you don't care if he comes to bear anymore this is the ramsey show jade washall ramsey personality is my co-host today open phones at 888-825-5225 the number one cause of divorce in north not being on the same page not working together we found in the data when we studied millionaires this is data not your feelings not your broke brother-in-law's opinion not some moron on tiktok who's an influencer but actual data that 87 percent of the millionaires say one of the key reasons they were able to build wealth was they were able to work together as a team with their spouse yeah proverbs 31 says who can find a virtuous wife for her worth is far above rubies the heart of her husband safely trusts her and he will have no lack of gain
Starting point is 00:29:12 I like that phrase no lack of gain I want some of that no lack of gain thing and so that means I get to listen to my virtuous wife. If you is a wife and you is virtuous, that means you don't think you're the Holy Spirit. You think you're the wife. You're not in charge. But you have common sense, as my wife says all the time. I have common sense. Well, there's always says when she's arguing with me, but I have common sense. There's some caveats to what you said there, Dave.
Starting point is 00:29:44 A, the wife's got to be virtuous. arguing with me but i have common sense there's some caveats to what you said there dave a the wife's gotta be virtuous and then b the husband has to his heart has to trust her yeah so there's let me just tell you when we went broke i bought houses i bought entire apartment complexes that my wife didn't even know existed we went to dinner the other night in Nashville. And we're, you know, these areas of Nashville that are being regentrified. They were the hood. And now they're coming back. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:17 You know, and I used to buy that stuff back in the day, 30 years ago. We're down there in this area that's now cool and didn't used to be. And I said, well, we used to own that right there. And she goes, you're kidding. This is 35 years years ago she never knew we owned it it's fun but i mean i bought crap and guess what i went broke too so now after that and i read that proverb in my late 20s i'm now in my 60s and i since then have never again made major financial decisions without my wife's input my wife by the way is a full-time mom with a degree in child and family studies home ec okay i run a 300 million dollar business people all over america listen to what dave ramsey says about money he checks with
Starting point is 00:30:59 his wife why because i want no lack of gain and i don't want to trust her i don't want to mess with sharon that's all i'm saying well you don't want that either there's that hillbilly thing but you know they're highly trained in pots and pans and i'm not saying just the cooking part okay but but the uh yeah i mean you know so if know this, why would you go against the system? The system is couples that work together, have high quality communication, quality relationships, a higher probability of ending this thing together. Yes. Not apart.
Starting point is 00:31:39 And a higher probability of wealth building. There is nothing in this whole set of data that tells you to lower the car and buy a steering wheel. Right. But there is part of this whole conversation that this is the thing. When you do start combining your money and when you do say, you know what, let's do this thing together. It will air all the dirty laundry. Like it'll show everything in your marriage that needs help. It will show who's immature.
Starting point is 00:32:09 It will show who's, like, it'll start to reveal that stuff. You can't hide Target bags under the bed anymore and think it's cute. No. Retail therapy princess. Yeah. You can't. That's not cool. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:21 It's a girl thing. No, it's a stupid thing. It's a little girl thing. It's an immature little girl thing no it's a stupid thing it's a little girl thing it's an immature little girl thing yeah it does i mean women actually have a backbone walk in go look this is what we're buying i get a vote too yeah but the point is i don't need to hide stuff from my wife or her from me the point is you set out you do set out on a journey where it's like okay like i thought i could do things my way. You can't do everything your way.
Starting point is 00:32:46 I thought, you know what? I'm realizing I have some trust. Like you start to realize these things about yourself, about your spouse, and it's fine. You have to continue to go through that journey so that you can do this thing and you're doing it together. And it's something that's bringing you together as opposed to, well, I tried to share my finances with him and he's just like this. And like, no, you have to walk through it.
Starting point is 00:33:08 That means that you have to deal with it. That's part of it. That's part of getting the marriage act together. Exactly. Getting your money act together. It's part of the deal. And so, God, here's the thing. It's harder, but it's easier.
Starting point is 00:33:23 Yes, I get that it's harder because i have to i can't just do whatever i want to do right i have to actually work with someone else and come to agreement that this is good for the greater whole called the ramses right not just what little davey wants little davey wants a car little Little Davey wants a new bass boat. Those bass are outrunning me. I need a bigger motor. Little Davey, you know, I mean, I'm serious. Because here's the thing.
Starting point is 00:33:53 Here's the funny part about this. Larry Burkett used to talk about this. When women go crazy, they buy an expensive purse. When a guy goes crazy, he buys a $35, 000 thingy with an engine in it of some kind a side by side a 18 wheeler a i don't know all the things i bought over time i bought them all because four wheelers five wheelers eight wheelers no wheelers boats you know what i'm saying and we drop 30k she drops 300 you know what i'm with that yes guys you y'all when we have expensive taste when we go big and stupid on the impulse we go big yeah i'm with that i'm with that by and large i mean and then
Starting point is 00:34:40 go honey look what i did yeah i get that i hope we can afford this because I just bought it. You know, oh my God. No, no, no, no, no. So here's the thing. Two grownups learning the difficult process of learning to work together and loving the other one so much that I actually will listen to them, causing us to be in concert where the music is beautiful is the highest probability of a fabulous marriage ending up married together at the end yeah and becoming
Starting point is 00:35:13 wealthy yeah very few people in our data became wealthy in spite of their stupid spouse right right yeah yeah that who that wouldn't. They did whatever they wanted to do. And we have separate accounts because I believe in independence. You shouldn't have gotten married if you believe in independence, because it's not really good for your marriage. This independence thing. Look, I have rights.
Starting point is 00:35:36 Yeah. I didn't say you didn't have rights, but you know, but he, you know, at first in sickness and in health for richer, for poorer unto the thee all my worldly goods I pledge.
Starting point is 00:35:48 If Sam Warshaw walked up in here and said, I'm going to keep my money separate from you. I want my own account. You would never see him again. I'm just telling you, you would never see him again, Dave. Whoa. That's pretty hardcore. Never find the body. I'm just saying that I would take a fence.
Starting point is 00:36:04 Is there duct tape and baseball bats involved involved i don't want to know here i take offense that if i'm with a spouse i've had your dad gum babies and you're saying you don't want to share money i have a problem with that don't come in my bed don't come don't even come in there don't do it and don't Dave don't get me started you want to share some things but not others exactly it doesn't make sense you have to think about this it doesn't make sense these things that you'll share and then
Starting point is 00:36:33 suddenly you can't have it all or nothing when you do marriage you go all the way and you can't say 90% but not 10% and the preacher says and now you are one now you are a joint venture he doesn't pronounce you a joint venture that's right where we sort of kind of do this
Starting point is 00:36:53 sort of sort of kind of we're gonna we're gonna share a bed but not the mayonnaise yeah not the mustard that's your mustard because we're roommates sort of kind of doesn't work on much you can't sort of kind of remember roommates in college you. You can't sort of, kind of be faithful. Remember roommates in college? Do you ever fight over the mustard? Like, you used my mustard? Yeah. That's how stupid this is. Yeah, it's dumb.
Starting point is 00:37:11 Yeah, it's just dumb. So all you little people out there that get all upset when we do this stuff, that was your cue. Yeah. It's dumb. This is The Ramsey Show. Dave here. You can find all of our shows with the Ramsey Network app on your smartphone. It's the only place to listen to the entire back catalog of episodes. Download the Ramsey Network app in your favorite app store today.

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