The Ramsey Show - App - My Husband Is Sure That the World Will End Soon (Hour 2)

Episode Date: September 2, 2021

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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Thank you for joining us. Open phones at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, best-selling author and host of the Dr. John Deloney Show,

one of our fastest-growing podcasts here in the Ram ramsey network is my co-host today he talks about relationships mental health anxiety uh boundaries whatever we need to talk about and we'll mix all of that in as we answer your questions about your life and your money again open phones at 888-825-5225 matthews in new York City. Hey, Matthew, how are you? I'm great, Dave. How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up?

So I'm in a little bit of a car situation. Currently, I'm on step two. Me and my wife are on step two. I have $13,000 left in credit card debt to pay off. Currently, we just have one car. I got fleeced three years ago, pre-Dave Ramsey. So that is up in February. I'm over the mileage, and I'm going to end up owing five grand on it. Also, on top of that, I'm going to need to buy a second car.

We just had a baby, and we currently only have the one car, so I'm going to need to buy a second car. We just had a baby, and we currently only have the one car, so I'm going to need to buy another car. And you're going to turn that one in in February, right? I have to turn that one in in February. So you've got to buy two cars. I have to buy two cars, yes. Okay. So what do you make?

Household income is around $220,000. That's good news. Okay. Well, I think what we have is we have a lot at the end of the tunnel, and it's a train coming at us. It's February. Between now and February, we've got to buy three cars, or two cars, and we've got to pay, and we've got to have five grand. And we've got to somewhere, and then sometime after that, we're going to pay off $13,000 in credit card debt. But what's your first priority?

Your first priority is to be able to turn this car in, so you need five grand. Treat that like it's a debt. That's debt number one, and your debt's snowball. Priority number two is you currently have one car. We need to at least replace the current one car, and so another five grand for a five thousand dollar car is number two and number three i guess we can get the second car before we pay off the credit card debt what do you think yeah that'd be good okay so that's another five grand so i need 15 grand to do the car flip and i need 13 grand to pay off the student loan, or to pay off the credit cards. I'll get it spit out here in a minute.

So you need $28,000, and you make $200,000 between now and February. If you do all of that by February, you're debt-free and have two paid-for cars that are worth $5,000 each. Does that make sense? Yeah, it makes perfect sense. I think you can do all that. You make a god-awful amount of money. It's awesome.

I'm proud of you. But you're not going to do nothing else. Don't talk to me about going out to eat or going on vacation. You have a car crisis, and you still have credit card debt, and you make a quarter million dollars a year, which is just straight-up stupid. So you've got to clean this up, right? Okay. Does that make sense?

Yeah, it makes sense, yeah. So I can find a car, so basically find two used cars for five grand. Yeah, that sounds good. What do you do for a living, man? I work for the sanitation department in New York City, so I need a car with all-wheel drive because when it snows, that's my main job is to plow the streets.

So I need to be able to get to work. Get to work, that's right. So is there going to be any sort of, let me just say it this way, you're going to have to get over any sort of ego you got about the salary you have and rolling into work with a $5,000 car because your coworkers are going to give you grief, appropriately so, and you're going to have to just smile and say, I don't owe nobody nothing, right? Yeah.

You're going to have to get over that. And by the way, I don't want you to drive a $5,000 car the rest of your life. I'm just trying to get you past February. After February, you have zero debt, right? Yeah, I have zero debt. And you make $200,000 plus a year, right? Yes. And so once your emergency fund is saved up, I would save up and move up in car.

Okay. With cash. Yeah. And so I'm asking you to drive a $5 up in car. Okay. With cash. Yeah. And so I'm asking you to drive a $5,000 car for less than a year. Okay. But if you'll drive like no one else later, you can drive like no one else. That makes sense. Yeah.

I drove hoopties after I went broke, and people made fun of me. I had one, the vinyl roof was torn loose across the top, and when you drove it, it filled up over there and looked like a parachute going down the interstate. And I was so embarrassed. I've had that car, too. I was so embarrassed. The vinyl roof was torn loose across the top, and when you drove it, it filled up over there and looked like a parachute going down the interstate. And I was so embarrassed. I've had that car, too. I was so embarrassed. It was so – you know, can you get to work every day with – worse is pulling up in a church.

Oh, man. And my face is red the whole time. And you know what? I just said, screw it. I don't care what these people think. You take your hand, and you just – I try to paste it on, and it would just slowly poof back down. That's it. Yeah, man. No, that's the headliner.

I'm talking about the vinyl roof on top. Oh, on the outside, like a Jetson car. Yeah. Mine fell down on the inside. No, this was the opposite of aerodynamic, yeah. Sharon is on the line in Louisville, Kentucky. Hi, Sharon. How are you?

Hi, Dave. I'm good. Thanks for taking my call. Sure. Well, I have a beautiful daughter who's a junior in college, and she wants to be a veterinarian. We have helped to pay for her undergraduate, and she received scholarships that helped to pay for that. Great. But the next level of graduate school is going to have to be out of state because we don't have an in-state veterinarian school in Kentucky.

Really? The state of Kentucky, horse country, does not have a vet school. Wow. I'm flabbergasted. We asked that question when we visited the University of Kentucky, and they said it was too expensive. It was cheaper to have a relationship with Auburn for in-state tuition for a certain number of Kentucky students than to have a school. What about Tennessee?

They've got a big vet school. Tennessee does have some veterinary schools, yes, but again, out of state for us. And they don't have a relationship with Kentucky because it's just across the line? That's correct. Does that hold for graduate school? Because most graduate schools set a cross-the-board tuition that's not contingent on residency status. Usually that's an undergraduate thing. Have you checked the prices of the Tennessee vet schools?

It has been a few years since I have looked it up. I looked it up more when she was in high school. Check on that because I know there's – last I looked, it's been a couple years, but there's a shortage across the country on vets, and there was a groundswell of a push to to how can we increase number of grad students and when that happens usually there is a collapsing of the tuition of some sort or high scholarship incentives or they waive state fees and and all that kind of stuff so i would definitely go sit down with those schools and leverage that the best you can sharon john has a phd in higher ed so he's played in this sandbox a bunch.

Yeah, that's great. He's not just making this up. He's not just making this up. University of Tennessee, Knoxville's vet school is huge and awesome, by the way, and so is Auburn's. You mentioned Auburn. They both are great vet schools. Both have great reputation.

But I would just be shopping my tail end off and find the best deal, just like you did when you put her through undergrad. That's how you get her to go through. And just be careful. Don't run up up 400,000 bucks be a vet this is a show You've got a lot on your plate. A job, your home, your marriage, and your growing family. While you're enjoying the present, you can't help but think about your future and your finances. As you explore your options, consider Christian Healthcare Ministries, or Ramsey Trtrusted provider. Guys, we'd love to hear from you what you think of The Ramsey Show, and we're doing a survey about The Ramsey Show. And we'd love to have you take the survey.

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All right, today's question comes from Jennifer in Kansas. My husband is 100% sure that the world will end soon or martial law will take effect and money will not hold any value because of this he will not save he has business and personal credit card debt he has zero savings and spends his money as fast as he makes it he's up to date on his payments but has no interest in paying them off so he can start saving i am currently saving as much as possible and will have the last of my debt paid off later this year. I have life insurance in place for all of us and a 401k. He will also be able to draw my pension at my old job if I should pass before he does.

I feel like I'm the only one preparing for our future and honestly, it's hurtful. I don't know how to get through to him that even though the world may end in our lifetime, we should still be responsible with our money and be prepared how can i get through to him dave how can she get through to him um well i mean the extreme way you've explained him this is not somebody who's merely a prepper this is not someone who is merely feels like that the culture is deteriorating. This guy is so sure that he's so paranoid that the whole thing is going to crash down that he, according to you, this is according to Jennifer, that he is doing nothing responsible. He's just living his life today. Now, or he's a complete liar. and this is his excuse for being a freaking

child and doing whatever he wants to do. Either way, this guy is exercising at a level of mental illness that is pretty extreme. This is a paranoia situation. Or it's a depression that is lapsed into, I literally can't think through to tomorrow, so I'm just living for the next five minutes, the next ten minutes. Yeah. And I'll create this narrative, and I will find some websites that will back up my narrative.

There's a thousand of these conspiracy websites. Millions of them, yeah. And all you got to do is watch the news, and it makes them all come true. That's exactly right. Butites. And, you know, all you got to do is watch the news, and it makes them all come true. That's exactly right. But they're not, you know. So let me just tell you that the world has problems, and the world has always had problems. 100% of the time. But the percentage likelihood of martial law and of you losing all of your personal assets coming together in your lifetime is so small that to believe that 100% to the point that it affects your behavior where you do nothing responsible for your family is called paranoia.

That is a mental illness level. This is not merely we have a disagreement about how life works. This is you are – your husband is mentally ill. And so let me. Am I wrong? No. And in fact, Dave, I had a season of life when I had, you and I have talked about this, I had mapped out in a very beautiful mind kind of way where this data point led to this one and this one, and I wasn't well.

And I had come to figure out that all the housing market was going to re-collapse and they were going to have to nationalize. I had created this whole world. And so I was going to cash out this and go do this. And I'll never forget sitting with the CFO of a $200 million company. I sat down, explained what I was about to do with my retirement. I was going to cash it out because money's not going to. And I remember him gently looking at me and saying, I don really understand this please don't do this and i left that meeting and i thought he didn't see it he didn't get it and i'm a guy that barely knows how to work a spreadsheet right so here's the thing um when somebody is in this position the data and facts don't help a lot with somebody in this

position needs to go get help yeah i had to go sit down with somebody and say i'm i'm seeing the world different than everyone around me who loves me. I need some help. And you're right. The world's got problems. It does. One of my close friends gave me a quote that has stuck with me forever. He said, John, I got a lot of plans, but I don't have a meteorite plan.

If a meteorite hits us, I will deal with that on that day. And the idea that suddenly money is going to hold no value and tanks are going to roll on every street. If that happens, I'll deal with that on that day. And until then, I'm going to be responsible and care for my wife who feels like she's drowning over here by herself. And we're going to go from there. Yeah. He's not going to give in to that because it's futile, right?

It's futile. Yeah. There's, yeah. He needs to see. He needs help. He needs to see a counselor. He needs help. So, Jennifer, no amount of you sitting down trying to explain stuff to him is going to help you. How can I get through to him? You can't.

You cannot. You cannot because his brain is not functioning properly. Right. If somebody in his life is someone that he trusts that would sit down with him and say, hey, let's go talk to somebody, great. If you say, hey, I'm going to go talk to someone, I'd love you to join me, that'd be great. But he needs to get some help. Yeah. And by the way, he doesn't think he needs help, so that's probably going to be very difficult.

So, but just to, the point is, is that this is not, he isn't, you're not going to solve this riddle. You don't have the tool set. I did have a friend that came and spoke truth to me. My wife spoke truth to me, and I wasn't this bad. But that was helpful. It was two people that I trusted, and I wasn't this bad, but that was helpful. It was two people that I trusted, and I said, I'm going to go talk to somebody then. Yeah. Well, and I think you might get some guidance from a good counselor if you were seeing one on how to deal with this situation.

Because here's what's ultimately going to happen, okay, having dealt with couples in your situation for 30 years. One of two things is going to occur, and there's really not much middle ground. There's not a third thing. It's one of two. He is going to recognize this, get some help, and gradually over time get better, and your lives are going to get better and get more normalized, and you're going to be able to aim at a future and build some wealth and get out of debt and start living reasonably. And you're going to start taking some incremental, not instantaneous,

but some incremental steps in that direction, which will give you hope. If that does not occur, 100% of the time, at some point, you are going to boil over, a switch is going to flip, and you're going to be done. And there's going to be no talking you back. Because when ladies in particular are done after holding their breath for a decade or for three years or for whatever, when they're done, you can't switch them back on. You can't switch them back into love mode. You're in resentment, and that's ashes. It's over. It's over.

And because they've reached that I've had it moment, and they really have had it, and they're really gone. And so don't let that happen to you. It's going to happen to you if you don't control the process. Now, you can control the process, and you say, okay, I'm going to give him this much time. I'm going to try these five things to encourage him. At that point, I'm going to call this because I can't be married to a crazy person. And he is mentally ill, darling. He's mentally ill.

We just diagnosed it. Dave, some of this feels like a self-fulfilling prophecy to me. That if you get enough people saying, well, money is going to be of no value, so let's just blow it all and run up all of our debts and go. But that's the quickest way for money to have some serious problems, right? Is that fair? I don't know enough about monetary policy. It just feels like we're starting to see a –

What Rabbi Lappin says, he says money is not actual, it's spiritual. So when I give you a $100 bill, the actual paper is not worth $100. It's a spiritual transaction of trust. And so when I give you a $100 bill, you accept that $100 bill for $100 in goods and services, or your eyes get big and you say thank you or whatever it is because you trust that you can take that and do something with it. And so what you're saying is, and it's a valid point, that if enough people lose that trust, then the money is destroyed. Or if enough people act so ridiculously.

I mean, if 90% of the people lose trust in the money, the money is no longer currency. There you go. There's no current to it. Right. So, I mean, I've got some Confederate money from before the Civil War. Oh, wow. During the Civil War. You know what you can buy with that? Nothing. Right. There's no trust to it. So, I mean, I've got some Confederate money from before the Civil War. Oh, wow. During the Civil War.

You know what you can buy with that? Nothing. Right. There's no trust associated with it. So we have a vested interest in saying, hey, instead of running from this and acting like children, let's lock back and try to get some common sense of this thing. Let's build together. Let's build civilization together. Good grief, yes. Dave here.

We just launched a brand new listener survey. We want to know what you think about the show. You'll be entered to win a $100 Amazon gift card. No purchase necessary. Take the survey at RamseySolutions.com slash survey or text survey to 33789. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today in the lobby of Ramsey Solutions on the Dead Free Stage. Tim and Sarah and Gunnar are with us.

Hey, guys, how are you? Great. How are you? Welcome. Where do you guys live? Atlanta, Indiana. Okay. Very cool.

Which is near? We're just north of Indy, about 30 minutes. Okay. We'll call it Indy. Okay. Indianapolis area, and you're here to do a debt-free scream. How much did you pay off? $105,000.

All right. How long did this take? 28 months. Oh, ding, ding. And your range of income during that time? We went from about $150,000 to right around $210,000. Wow. Nice jump in 28 months. What kind of debt was the $105,000? We were pretty normal, Dave. Lawnmower, motorcycle, student loans, truck. You financed a lawnmower, yeah zero percent interest right pay for it later that's great so um what got you on this journey 28 months ago we blew it out for christmas in 2018 and uh you know almost went bankrupt spending all of our

money there and the day after christmas our furnace went out, and we didn't have the money to pay for it. And looking at our income, we make way too much money to not be able to afford an emergency like this. So I had to go to the bank and get a credit card to pay for a furnace. And I said, never again. Something's got to change. Yes, absolutely. It's this level of stress, this level of uncertainty is not okay. So what did you do?

What was your journey like from there? I'll say the first thing we did, my sister got us, was the Financial Peace University for Christmas. So that really kicked us off. It was perfect timing, I think. Oh, okay. So the same Christmas that the furnace went out, Financial Peace University is under the tree. A little cold in there, but the FPU is under the tree. Do we read it or use it for firewood? That's right. So who had the conversation with who? Well, I've been listening to Dave since 2006,

and I wanted to go on this journey 10 years ago, but we didn't see eye to eye on it. And, you know, life kind of took hold of us and uh we got back on track shortly thereafter because of the furnace the furnace okay so you got the box out from under the tree and both of you went to class we did together all right and was it was it hard to go to class or when you went were you just so ready that whatever it said dude we're gonna do it no we were we were gonna make it work yeah we were ready both of you absolutely at the same time this time at the same time i think that goal setting too in the in book, when you sit down and talk together about what your future will be, that's really significant for me. And I think that a lot of people don't realize that you have to have a goal to work towards.

And so doing that together was helpful. Yeah. Dreaming about the future and making it very, very, very clear of what that's going to be. Just a crystal clear picture of it. Yeah. This is what life's going to be. Just a crystal clear picture of it. Yeah. This is what life's going to look like, and we're going to pay a price to get there, but it's worth it. We're going to get there.

Absolutely. Yeah. Very cool. 28 months later, $105,000 later, you're done. That's right. That's pretty cool. That's very exciting. That's pretty cool.

It's mind-blowing. What do you tell people the key to getting out of debt is? Well, for me, it was Ramsey Solutions, the Ramsey Plus app, and Every Dollar Budget. Being able to actually see how that app tracked every single dollar, almost every penny that we spent, was eye-opening. I think we both had some aha moments when we realized how much we were spending on fast food alone. So that was it for me. Well, paying for food with cash is huge because you get to keep that money in your wallet on fast food alone. So that was it for me. And then...

Well, paying for food with cash is huge because you get to keep that money in your wallet instead of swiping it away with the debit card. You get to... It doesn't seem like it's there anymore. You don't realize it's going away when... Right. When it's a debit card, you don't feel it.

Right. Or a credit card. You feel it with cash. Yeah, but with cash, it's like, ouch, we just bought something. So you've got this extraordinary, handsome young man with you here. 2018, you blow out Christmas. 2019, 2020, I'm assuming Christmas looked a little different in the Gunner home.

And yet I see him still smiling and breathing. Tell us about that transition. I don't think he realized, really. I don't think he felt it as probably as we did, but we're also doing Financial Peace Junior with him now. So he's at an age where he can comprehend all the things that we're listening to and doing together. And we've been practicing debt-free screams for a long time together. Contentment was huge for us. It really didn't seem terribly sacrificial for us to to start this journey we

spent a lot of time at our dinner table instead of going through the fast food and we spent uh time doing things that don't take a lot of money like going fishing and and that doesn't cost a lot to go to go fishing and it's really really meaningful so yeah contentment's huge yeah it's uh it's a I think it's a secret weapon. It might be the most powerful of all financial principles is to be able to be content. You can avoid debt. You can save. You can be generous.

You can do all kinds of things when you're content. But discontent, man, it costs like a lot of money because you spend a lot of money trying to find contentment, and it's expensive. So have you guys had that one month where there's no no no payments and but the the check still deposits oh yeah we have we've had a few now it's awesome tell us look at you smiling man tell us about it well when you get at the end of the month and you and you're doing your budget you're like oh man we've got this much left over i'm just going to go ahead and slip this into this this account or or add that 15 15% to our retirement or add it to his college fund or maybe go eat out at a restaurant or take a trip to Nashville.

It's really... Do you know what? You can see your face, man. You just lit up just thinking about it. That's incredible, man. Good for you guys. That's awesome. Well done.

Very well done, you guys. Outside of the two of you, who was cheering you on? My sister is our biggest cheerleader. She's the one who sent the FPU kit. Yes, actually, she's listening live right now. That's cool. Hey, Laura. Well, thanks, Laura.

We appreciate the business. We appreciate you taking care of your sister. That's awesome. Very, very cool. Good. And then, Tim, you and I met at Entree Summit, so you've taken this stuff to your business, too, huh? Well, it was kind of ironic. It explains part of the jump in pay. I took a new job and my boss is a big Ramsey person and we didn't know that, but I was a Ramsey person and she was

a Ramsey person and she took me to Entree back in May and then we're going again next year in Florida and really looking forward to it. But I try to really live and embody these principles every day in my personal life, and it worked, too. That's awesome. Yeah, that's a great jump in pay. Well done. Good, guys. Excellent. Proud of you.

Well done. Now you're free. How does it feel? It feels amazing. Great. Weight lifted off all of our shoulders, and we can breathe for a little bit and then jump right back into tackling the house yeah just well now it's intentional not intense right so you're going to get there before you know it so very very well done we've got a copy of the legacy journey for you that's the next chapter in your story to go on and be baby steps

millionaires that's the next thing coming up for you and of course a uh on top, we've got a copy of the total money makeover for you to give away. Put it under somebody's tree right before their furnace goes out. That's right. For sure. Yep. That's how this stuff works. Got to pay it forward now. All right.

Tim and Sarah and Gunner. $105,000 paid off in 28 months, making $150,000 to $210,000. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. Three, two, one. We're debt-free! Woo! Woo!

Ah! That is awesome. That's so cool, man. I know that childhood trauma sticks with you through your whole life, but also standing on a stage in front of lights with your mom and dad who for 28 months have been sacrificing, and you got to come do this weird thing, a debt-free scream. There used to be this guy back when I was a kid back in Tennessee

that did these debt-free screams, and that was for daddy made his first million that's right and you're sitting there telling your kids that and you got 20 million yep and that's gunner yeah and that's those moments when you can tell your kids yeah dad used to be grumpy and then all of a sudden he smiled all the time and we started going fishing. He tried to cook. That wasn't great, but Mom helped. It's those moments like everything changed. That's called changing your family tree. That's incredible, man. You know what?

The interesting thing is that if you're listening to us right now, you can do it. You can do it. You. Yeah, I'm talking to you. I know you're driving on the interstate. You think I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to you right now. You can do it. You can do it. You. Yeah, I'm talking to you. I know you're driving on the interstate. You think I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to you right now. You can do this.

I'll shut up. Stop your whining. You can do it. This is the Ramsey Show. Thank you. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Kevin is in Denver. Hi, Kevin. How are you? Well, pretty good. How are you?

Better than I deserve. What's up in your world? Well, I could use some help with getting my debt snowball going, and I'm having trouble with the zero-sum budget. I believe I'm on baby step number two. Okay. You got $1,000? Five.

You have $5,000? Yes. Okay, good. Well, baby step one is $1, five. You have $5,000? Yes. Okay, good. Well, baby step one is $1,000. Baby step two is we list all of our debts, smallest to largest, pay minimum payments on everything but the little one, and attack the little one with any money we can find from any source, and that would include $4,000, which is the four above the one. And so we're going to throw that at the smallest debt.

That's definitely going to get you rolling. What's your very smallest debt? My smallest debt is, I believe, $230. All right, it's gone. What's the next one? What's that? What's the next one? The next one is, I have it right here, $5,3 you go from 250 to 5,000 well see um i have a life

insurance loan i have a retirement loan and um the only other all my utilities are basically paid. I got them on automatic pay. Yeah, utilities are not a debt. That's a budget item. Okay. Yeah. So life insurance loan is going to be gone. Are you healthy? Can you get life insurance?

Actually, I have some issues. You know, I have obesity, high blood pressure. Well, actually, it's not high anymore, but I have a history of it. If you can get some term insurance, it'll probably be cheaper than the whole life, and then the whole life being canceled will pay off that loan. That is not a loan you want to repay. That's a loan you want to get rid of by getting rid of that policy. How much do you owe on your retirement account?

$3,500. $3,056. Okay, so your second smallest debt is the retirement account. Yeah. Okay. So if you had $4,000 in your hand, you could pay off those first two debts, correct? Do you have any other debt? I do.

I have student loans. Both me and my wife have. I have $63,000 in student loans, and my wife has $119,000. Ooh, what do you guys make a year? A little over $100,000. Okay. All right. So we knock off these two little first debts, and we're going to, with some of the money you had in savings, taking you down to $1,000. We're going to get you on that zero-based budget and get you going, meaning that every dollar just has an assignment before the month begins. Each and every month, every dollar has an assignment.

That's all it means. The EveryDollar app will help you do that, and I'm going to sign you up for a year for Ramsey Plus, and that's going to allow you and your wife to go through Financial Peace University. There's a really good bunch of lessons in there on how to do that zero-based budget. And the Every Dollar Premium app is part of it. I'm going to pay for all of it and give it to you free. The only thing I ask that you do is you get your butt out of debt, get yourself straightened up,

and then you go help somebody else someday with your generosity because you're not broke anymore. That's what I want you to do. So you hold on, and Kelly will get you signed up up and we'll get you moving in the right direction. And here's the deal, Kevin. When you and your wife sit down every week and say, what's our budget look like? Go ahead and say, what is our calendar going to look like? What are three or four things we can do to move our bodies this week? Go for a walk together after dinner?

Can we go for a walk in the morning together when we're just going to look out and not even say anything to one another to have our coffee whatever it but what you're going to see is a level of intentionality that starts with your money that ends up with your marriage and your relationship and your calendar and what work looks like and what physical fitness is going to look like and you're going to find you say you're struggling with obesity and high blood pressure you're going to find that that level of intentionality is going to begin to slowly invade all corners of your life. And you're going to wake up in a year, two years, three years, you're going to be out of debt. You're going to be making a little bit more money. Your marriage is going to be different.

Your health is going to be different. And all of this stuff begins to work together with that one magic word, intentionality. Right. There's a saying that discipline begets discipline. Every time. But what really happens is that once you take the initiative in one area of your life, whatever that area is, and you say, I can control my behavior in this area, and then you have some success with that, it just says, well, I could control this other area then. And then, oh, well i could control this other area then and then oh maybe i could control this other area the number of times that we see someone get out of debt

simultaneously improve their marriage uh simultaneously lose weight and it's not because they weren't eating because they were living on beans and rice that's not the point they were it's just the discipline thing just we had a guy in here one time did a debt-free screen lost 260 pounds while he was getting out of debt i mean he was just it was an amazing story we actually did a a youtube special on him and put on a youtube channel it was a beautiful story but there's that that thing of once i know that i can make me do something i can do hard stuff that's right then i know i can make me do something else and something else and something else there's a confidence that builds uh in your ability to control your environment and there's this confidence that's built with dave we are so we are so beholden to these magical things called

feelings i don't feel like working out this morning. I don't feel like eating. I feel like eating that instead of that. I feel like buying this thing. And there's something about learning. Here's a budget and I want to buy this, but I'm not going to because I said I wasn't gonna. And then you start to realize,

oh, I need to feel these feelings, but they don't always tell me the truth. They don't have to live by them anymore. And I didn't feel like running this morning, Dave. You probably didn't feel like getting up and going for it. But we did it, and we're going to do it again tomorrow, and you're going to do it again tomorrow. The feelings sometimes don't matter. It's that discipline.

I can do it. I can do hard stuff. I can do hard stuff. Well, if you live only by feelings, that's the definition of being a child. There you go. I mean, adults are allowed to have feelings but not live by them. You've got to challenge them. That's right.

Adults devise a plan and follow it. Children do what feels good. That's right. Adults devise a plan and follow it. Children do what feels good. That's right. Because when you're basically a child, whether you're living in an adult body or not, all you do is what feels good. Whatever feels good. I don't feel like it. I don't feel like I'm in love anymore. I don't feel like I want to be a dad anymore.

I don't feel like I want to be a mom anymore. I don't feel like I want to work anymore. I don't feel like I... And everything's about you, you selfish little brat. And we've all got that kid that lives inside of us. But this thing called growing up is when you say, in spite of the feelings, I'm also going to do what is wise and what is good and what is noble. Do it anyway. Do it anyway.

Do it anyway. Do it anyway. I'm going to go for a walk this morning. I know it's raining, but I haven't missed a day in 517 days, and I'm going for a walk this morning. I know that me and my wife are are um not talking great i'm still going to get up and make her coffee right and i'm still going to say good morning how are you i'm still going to do those things even when i don't feel like it and you're going to see that just bear fruit over years and years later man that that's what's so

weird about this whole get out of debt thing it's like the debt snowball okay we just paid off the first two debts right just now just now did it while It's like the debt snowball. Okay, we just paid off the first two debts. Right, just now, just now. Did it while he was on the air? On the air. And, I mean, he hadn't done it yet, but I told him what to do. And so, you know, that gives you this sense of, oh, look at that. I can control this. I can just do this.

I can make some progress. And we make $100,000 a year. Let's save it up for next month, the next month, and pay off the next one, right? Let's get on it. Let's get this next dude on. He actually took off three of them because he's going to go and cancel that whole term policy. He's going to get a whole life policy. A term life policy. And he's going to go from there, right?

That's a good point, yeah. So he got three debts taken off in one phone call, right? So it's just that I don't feel like it. I'm going to do it anyway. And you know what? He didn't pay anything for that. Free advice. And I gave him the whole thing. From a couple of handsome guys. That's what you get, man are they i don't know they're back there with kelly and ben yeah next segment is on delusional yes

i just i wish everyone can see the power of saying i don't feel like i'm gonna do it anyway and you do that 30 days you do it 60 it 60 days, and you do it 90 days, and literally everything in your life changes. Everything. And you begin to build new brain synapses. Your brain changes, your body changes, your mind changes, your money changes. Everything changes. It takes 30 days, 60 days, 90 days.

But what happens when you build confidence like that, that's called faith, hope? Yes. And hope you can control. That's right. You can decide to look for it. Yeah. And when you don't have it, it's called a broken heart.

You know, the proverb says, hope deferred makes the heart sick. That's right. But when desire comes, it is the tree of life. I love it. You can go looking for beauty and hope. You can find it. And you can actually manufacture it. Every single day. I love it. You can go looking for beauty and hope. You can find it. And you can actually manufacture it every single day.

I love it, man. A little hope factory. There we go. Dr. John Deloney, Ben and Kelly in the booth. Good hour. This is The Ramsey Show. Dave here. We just launched a brand new listener survey. We want to know what you think about the show.

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