The Ramsey Show - App - My Husband Left Me and I’m Stuck With All the Bills (Hour 2)

Episode Date: July 23, 2024

From the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, this is The Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create amazing relationships. I'm George Campbell, joined by bestselling author Dr. John Deloney, and we are here for you, America, to take your calls to help you take the right next step. The number is 888-825-5225. Betsy is going to kick us off in Portland, Maine. Betsy, welcome to The Ramsey Show. Hi. Thank you. Absolutely.

What's going on? Yeah, well, my question is, I was married 15 years with somebody, and they just recently, well, two years ago, walked out and left me with everything to deal with. And I kind of went through a period of trying to fill that hole. So I'm $20,000 in debt now. And I don't know where to begin. I mean, I work 60 hours a week, trying my best, but do I try to bank all my money? And do I have it for retirement, or should I pay off all my debt because my dream is really to own a home someday before it's too late? I'm so sorry, Betsy.

How old are you now? 58. Okay. And any kids, grown and gone, or? Grown, grown, grandchildren. So, yes, I have no children at home. home it's just me do you have any family around i do yes i have a daughter um that lives close by and i have a son actually who made me start listening to dave's show he lives in texas and uh yeah would love to have me down there but it's so hot there amen hey Betsy is the jungle

through a formal divorce no no I do not know what is going on around here but I filed it's been about a year and a half ago I filed and we still do not have a court date we've gone to mediation and can't agree and uh we're still waiting for a court do you have an attorney you know and he's living with somebody already so i would think they would rush it along but i guess do you have a lawyer do you have a lawyer i didn't because honestly i don't think he really he did all that he paid all the bills and did all that and i just helped out here and there and put money away for Dream Home. Then I went through it all when I was kind of just left suddenly. But Betsy, he left you $20,000 in bills that you can't pay.

Well, a lot of that was my fault because, well, I had to pay the bills while he was gone, and he has nothing. I don't think he doesn't have any. Yeah, but he doesn't get to just opt out and stop paying bills. That's not an option for him. Oh, I know. I know. So that's why you need some legal defense. Okay.

So let's head this off like right this second, okay? Okay. Are you in? Because here's the deal. You're going to have to change a switch. You're going to have to flip a switch from You're going to have to flip a switch from, I just got run over by a truck. I love this person for a decade and a half.

And probably you've been through some things in your life and you let yourself believe again. And you knew things were a little bit shifty and a little bit shady, but you, man, you let yourself love this guy and he absolutely sets your heart on fire. Right.

Exactly. Right? Okay. Yeah, correct. Not by your hand, but in your lap. Here we are. You're 58. You're working 60 hours a week.

You owe 20 grand and you won't own a house someday. Yeah. I'm telling you this because I love you. You're going to have to flip a switch from victim, I just got hit in the mouth, to you watch me. Right. And if, I know that's easy to say.

I know that's easy for me just to say, and it sounds like an Instagram post, but I'm telling you, that's going to be the difference between you not owing anybody any money this time next year or you being forty thousand dollars in debt this time next year and trying to find some guy that you know is not good for you to move in with you you see what i'm saying like just repeating the cycle again and that is the thing though i'm such a strong person and it just it was like so out of his character he did a 180

I mean it was like I never ever ever saw it you know coming so it was such a shock I wasn't prepared had I thought he was like that I could have been squirreling money away for 15 years but I when someone leaves you

when someone cheats on you we often hear that but we think it's going to hurt because of the betrayal. But often the most painful part is you lose trust in yourself. I should have seen this coming. I should have put money away. I know. Betsy, listen, listen. We don't have a psychology for when someone we love, we know people stab us in the back.

We know enemies are out to get us. We don't have a psychology when someone we love stabs us in the face, and that's what happened. And so when that happens, you've got to just put your hands down and grieve it. Right. Right? And then you have to ask yourself that terrifying question, what am I going to do now?

I know, yeah. So let's walk through some tactical things, Betsy. You got $20,000 total in debt? Yes. What kind of debt? Credit cards, mostly. A loan, a small loan, and credit cards. I just was so... Was this grief spending, or did you have to cover the gap in bills? Oh, absolutely. Okay.

It was both. It was both. Can you cover your bills today? And both. Yeah, I'm making decent money. Okay, what are you making? Matter of fact, I wrote it down, because I just got my six-month thing. This year, I should make around $67,000.

Wonderful. And for a single person, it should make around $67,000. Wonderful. And for a single person, it's not bad around here. That's incredible. You're amazing. Okay, so here's the deal. We can get out of this debt. So barring whatever happens with the mediation and is he going to pay?

Is there alimony? Is there back pay? I don't know what's going to happen there, but I can tell you how Betsy can get out of this mess and move on with her life regardless. Do you have any savings? I'm regardless. Do you have any savings? I'm sorry? Do you have any savings right now?

Anything? Anything in savings in the bank? Oh, not really, no. No, maybe $500. I mean, that's so sad, isn't it? And I do have, I just got a 401k at least. Okay, well, don't invest money in the 401k. You need to be focused on this debt temporarily until it's knocked out.

And to make in 67, how much margin could you throw at the debt every month? So if you make minimum payments on everything, you cover your four walls, your food, utilities, shelter, transportation, how much money can you throw on top of the debt, on top of the minimum payments every month on the smallest one well I'm with this new job that brings in probably let's say you're doing how much your bills are your basic bills cover your needs is it two grand three grand bills yeah no rent they rent table lights around $1,800. Okay. That's not food or anything like that.

So let's say you're bringing home $4,000. There should be about $2,000 you could throw at this debt if you got focused, right? Yeah, and yes. So now think about that. Basic math, $2,000 for 10 months is $20,000. Oh, yeah. That makes you feel a little better. Good. That's exactly what hope does.

It makes you feel a little better because you're going to be debt-free within a year. Uber on Saturday and Sunday and it's going to be awful and they get this thing done in six months. And then build up your emergency fund to three to six months of expenses.

Then we can begin investing in the 401k, 15%. I'm going to send you Financial Peace University, Betsy. It's going to walk you through all of this in detail. And this is the seven baby steps that have helped millions. And you are next. And I'm so pumped for you. Hang on the line. Christian's going to pick up.

We're going to send you Financial Peace University as our gift to say we believe in Betsy. Thanks for the call. This is The Ramsey Show. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. I'm George Campbell, joined by Dr. John Deloney, open phones at 888-825-5225. If you're enjoying the show now or anytime, do us a quick favor. It's completely free. It'll take you a second and share the show. Consider hitting the subscribe button, leave a review, hit the follow button. That means the world to us. You guys are our best marketing plan and it is working. More and more people are hearing about the show. They're getting hope. They're changing their life and it's because of you guys. And if you're on Spotify, here's a really cool thing you can do. Just tap on today's

episode of The Ramsey Show. There's going to be a little poll right there, and let us know how you first heard about The Ramsey Show. It's a big help to our team to know where to focus their efforts. So just go to Spotify, click on the episode, and take the one-button poll. It means a lot. All right, let's continue on with Franklin in Miami. What's going on, Franklin? Hey, how you doing? Doing well. What's going on, Franklin? Hey, how you doing?

Doing well. What's going on? All right. So I got myself in a bind, probably a total about $650 in debt. What is it, man? It's a little bit. That includes the mortgage. I took a heat lock out got a couple of credit cards hospital bills um the thing is i was i had a very in the beginning i had a very savvy like

thought process you know trying to take some money out and invest. I mean, real estate, I do wholesaling. And that was like the brunt of my income. Um, I, I got into a little health situation at the end of last year. I had to do open heart surgery. And then, um, starting in January and February, um, it took some time for me to get the ball back rolling, but a business hasn't been as it was. And just like right now, I'm literally right now, as I'm talking to you guys, I'm pulled over on the side of the road because I just got done picking up an Uber Eats order

just to supplement my household income. I'm married. I have five kids. My wife will stay at home because we have a one-year-old. But as of right now, we're trying to bring more income into the house. Franklin, speak directly into your phone for us. We're having a little bit of a hard time hearing you. Sorry about that.

No, it's all good. So you're doing side hustles right now to supplement the wholesaling stuff, which is panning out. You got five kids, wife stays at home with the kids. You've got credit cards, medical debt, HELOC mortgage. It all adds up to $650. If you remove the mortgage and the HELOC, what's the consumer debt section? How much does that add up to? Consumer debt, I'd say probably about $60 in credit card. And then after that is like hospital bills. You know, since we have like a, we probably have like another 60 to 70 in hospital bills. And that hospital bill just being different things. I know my heart surgery brought in some bills.

One of our second to youngest daughters, her birth wasn't covered by the insurance, so we had to pay for that. Do you have insurance right now? Yeah, we have insurance right now, health insurance. Okay, is it just Marketplace? Say that again? Is it just Marketplace health insurance? Who is it through? My wife is on Marketplace. I'm on private.

Okay, I imagine that's very expensive, right? Yeah. Okay. I think we need some stable core income, and that might mean you need a career change. If wholesaling is not working out, I think you need to do something full-time with benefits to kind of get your head above water, especially with five kids. Yeah, that's right. Does that sound right? Yeah, that's fine. Because wholesaling was pretty good.

For the past five years, I've been well over 100. Last year, I was at 137. Before that, I was at 150. Before that, I was at 190. And then 2020 was one of my biggest years at 250. So it's been steadily decreasing. And even now, I'm still actively

doing it. I have some deals in the pipeline. I got one closing scheduled for next week. And I'm working on another potentially, in the name of Jesus, I got a six-figure deal that I'm negotiating. But it's, like you said, it's not stable. Unfortunately, I don't have a team.

I'm working by myself. I'm doing my own calls. I don't have any cold callers calling for me. Hey, Franklin. Franklin. I can hear how tired you are. Yeah. I got two kids, and I don't even know what day it is.

I can't imagine having five, not to mention a wife staying at home, not to mention all these deals. I can hear it all. I know. I know. You thought this whole thing was going to look different. I'm telling you right now, and George will back me up on this, with your character, the kind of guy you are,

and I know this because you're a dealer. You know how to set up deals and wheel them and talk them and move them, but you're also a good man, and you're on the side of the road because you're working Uber Eats so that you can provide for your family. You're a man of character, and I know that's who you are. And you've got to believe me when I tell you, if you work that hard, and you're as smart as you are, and you're as good at working with people as I know you are,

there's not a lot of jobs you won't get involved with or you're not making $150,000 at the end of the day. That's who you are. You could start a car washing business tomorrow, and in 18 to 24 months, you'd be making 150 grand at the end of the day that's who you are you could start a car washing business tomorrow and in 18 to 24 months you'd be making that kind of money because that's how you work and that's how you honor people but you're locked into this like the wholesale game was so crazy in 2020 and now you're just chasing ghosts man you know what i'm saying like it's never going to be like that again. It was a wild, weird moment in history.

And it feels like, okay, but the next deal and the one next deal, and like you just said, now we're on our hands and knees praying to the grace of Jesus this deal goes through. And George and I want you to have stability, man, so you can play with your kids and you can sleep in your own house and pay your bills. Does that make sense? Yeah.

And right now you're staring at a mountain, Franklin. What I want you to do is disconnect the HELOC and the mortgage for a second and just focus on this consumer debt. If you got back to making 150 in the next six months, how quickly could you pay off 120,000 in that consumer debt? Less than two years. You could throw 60 at it, right? Making 150, cover the bills, the rest goes to debt. That's the one thing you're focused on. And so I don't think you're too far, you know, you're not too far gone. You don't need to file bankruptcy. You're going to hustle your way out of this, just like you did to get to where you are with this wholesale business. But it's going to take, it's going to take a little while. And it might mean you got to tell the credit card companies,

hey, listen, here's what I can pay you right now. It might mean you got to negotiate with the medical bills and go, listen, I don't have the income that I had before. I'm doing my best. Here's what I can pay you right now. But the most important thing to do is cover the four walls. They don't get paid before you put food on the table, the utility bills are covered, and you've got your housing covered and your transportation. Got it?

Yeah. Can you afford this house or is it time to sell this $500,000 house? That's what I'm thinking. We bought it in COVID. We bought it in COVID at a great price, $250,000, low interest rate. But then I tacked on the HELOC, and the HELOC is $150,000. What's it worth right now? Maybe $520,000.

So if you sold for $520,000, what would you walk away with after paying the mortgage, fees, and the HELOC? Ballpark. Conservatively, maybe $100,000. $100,000? Yeah. That sounds awfully close to getting completely debt-free, doesn't it? You'd pay off the medical bills and credit cards. So I think that's the backup plan.

If we don't get income up soon, that needs to be the next step. And I would sell this house. Dude, I'm just telling you what I would do, brother. I would sell this house and I would put $50,000 in a high yield savings account so I know I've got my rent covered and I'd go rent a place,

and kids can share rooms. I shared a room growing up, and somehow I survived. Your kids can share rooms. Y'all can make it work, and you'll have six months of rent in a high-yield savings account, so you know I'm going to be okay on that front.

You've got too much house and not enough money coming in, and it's going to give you a chance to control all, delete the career move and then make your next move. Whether that's going to become the manager of a Walmart or a local restaurant or going to start your own plumbing. I don't know what your,

what your skillset is and what you want to do, but man, you're, you work too hard and you're too much of a man of character to just be stuck on the side of the road. Like you are right now, I'm trying to get into this wholesaling flipping game, man. I just get, you've got too much to offer

to your neighborhood and your family and to yourself to stay in this game anymore. We got to restart with peace and that might mean selling the house because right now this is not sustainable and it's stressful and you got a little starry eyed, you got a little greedy

and we can reset and move forward with peace. Hang on the line, I'm going to send you my book Breaking Free From and move forward with peace. Hang on the line. I'm going to send you my book, Breaking Free from Broke, to give you some hope along the way. This is The Ramsey Show. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. I'm George Campbell, joined by Dr. John DeLonge. Open phones at 888-825-5225.

Our question of the day comes from Amber in South Carolina. What's she got to say, John? All right, Amber writes, I was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder and I'm on medication and I see a great therapist. My husband and I have a healthy savings fund and our only debt is our home mortgage. Where I need advice is how do I get out of a car mess?

I've lost us a lot of money with car depreciation. I'll just stop. No, you didn't. Cars depreciate. It's what they do. Maybe you bought a new car or a fancy car and it's depreciated a lot, but you didn't do that. It's just what cars do. I drive an extremely expensive car that's worth more than my annual income, but not our household income.

All right, there we go. So you drive a fancy pants car that is depreciated. I want to drive a cheaper car and move away from the luxury brands that I love, but I'm afraid if I go to a dealership, it will trigger me into purchasing a new expensive vehicle. Please help. Well, I think this goes with A,

I'll just shout out Amber, like we had a caller in a recent episode. Good for you. This is amazing. Taking your medication, getting the professional help and care that you need, and recognizing where you need to put hurdles in your life. And this doesn't just apply to people with bipolar disorder. This applies to all of us. I have a hard time walking by a jar of jelly beans without eating 70 to 80% of it so sometimes i have to take a different lap around our office because sweet caitlin puts out those a whole fish bowl that's true if i ever can't find john i just leave a trail of jelly beans leading to my death

chocolate peanut butter cups or whatever yeah i have to take a different route and that's okay i but i know like i gotta put a hurdle in front of myself and amber you're here too so um i think there's a couple of ways you can do this number one um your husband can come with you and he can be on the car purchase like with with you which i think you should be be on the title with you um when you buy a car and he will be the person who um can help you in, for lack of better ways of saying this, protect you from yourself. Another way to do that is to go out and look at cars and make sure you intentionally leave any way that you have to pay at home and go out to just look and then go home. And if you and your husband decide this is the car we want,

then you can call them in most car dealerships. Almost every car dealership now will deliver the car to you, the one that you want. They won't upsell you. They won't try to force you in anything like that. Those are two things I would do. What other ideas you got, George? You buy more cars than me.

Wow. Yes, multiple cars, John. Well, number one are a car rule, just so everyone knows, here's the parameter, and it's not to be legalistic. It's just so that you don't get in over your head with a depreciating asset, is you don't want all things with wheels and motors to add up to more than half of your annual income. That includes motorbikes, boats, cars, trucks, RVs, mobile homes, whatever.

So to that end, it may not be more than your half. I don't know. You said your car is more than your income. I don't know what your husband's income is. So there's a variable there. If you do want to get rid of it because you have so much shame and regret and you're going, I got a downgrade, you need to come up with a difference in cash if you're underwater.

So if you owe, let's say you owe $30,000 on the car, it's only worth $20,000. Well, you need to have $10,000 cash in order to pay off the loan and clear the title. So that's one option. Then you go pay cash for the next car. If you're going to go that route, that's how to do it. If you want to go get a different car, a used car, one way to stop yourself from getting triggered by the new car dealerships is to not go to a new car dealership. Go find an independent used car

dealership and do all of your research online. So you know your budget, you find the car, contact them and say, hey, I want this car. Is it available? What's the out the door price? That's what you're looking for. Don't let them nickel and dime you with all these warranties and we're going to put nitrogen in the tires, whatever stupid crap they do and dock fees. Say, this is the price. I'm going to pay this price plus sales tax. And once you find that, that dealership, get the deal done, and then you can go pick it up or have it delivered, like John said, if you don't want to go in the dealership lot. But to John's end, you do not go alone. You have your husband there. You have your budget. You know what? Write out the check ahead of time for your budget. Your out-the-door budget price.

Then you can't be tempted to go into the financing office and have them go, no, no, no, but do you understand? We'll give you a thousand bucks off if you finance with us. In your brain, here's what most people do, John. Well, it's a good idea, and then we'll just pay it off later, and it'll be one to no brainer. We're going to really stick it to the man. No, they've already stuck it to you. So there's some fail safes you can put in place, those hurdles John talked about, to help you with this. But I think the key here is you've got to pre-decide we're not going to buy a new car. I had a buddy's dad who did that back when we were in our early college years. Man, I just remember him saying, I just wrote a check out at home.

And then he looked in the newspaper, saw a car, and said, I'll pay that for it. Wrote a check out, walked in, and and said i want to give you that for that i'm gonna hand the check i'm gonna give you this check for that car and like well you know he's like i want to give you this check for that car he came home in that car yeah he came home in that car and you got to be able to walk away you've got to have willpower when you walk onto those dealerships because salespeople are trained to convince you to buy and do it their way with the financing. They always put you in the financing office. Well, you still have to go to the financing office and they're going to pitch you. Like, I had a call when they went, hey, this is the financing office. We want to know why are you

paying cash? I went, well, I don't do debt. I don't understand. It makes so much more sense to, you should lease. Leasing is actually the smart way to buy a car. And I went, you don't know who you're talking to and I don't have the time to explain it i'm not doing this goodbye we've agreed on the price my favorite one was uh not the last car but the one before that the guy looked at me and said hey you know here's a sheet of the projected repairs this car is going to have so your best option scare you until and i said whoa whoa whoa are you telling me this car is going to have so your best option to scare you and i said whoa whoa are you telling me this car is going to fall apart within the year he's like well no no it's a great i was like whoa you just told me that i'm gonna make thousands of dollars i'm out of here dude and he goes no no it's a good and i knew it was a great car and i said am i buying any of your warranties and he

stopped he looked at me goes why like i was the idiot and i said because i have cash in my bank account i'll take care of them if and when they show up and by the way i've had that car for four and goes, why? Like I was the idiot. And I said, because I have cash in my bank account and I'll take care of them if and when they show up. And by the way, I've had that car for four years now, none, zero of the anticipated big repairs that are coming.

And that's the power of having values and principles and pre-deciding and having the accountability of bringing someone with you because they can talk you out of that when the guy zeros in on you and you lose willpower.

But thanks for the question. Juno's up next in Memphis, Tennessee. What's going on, Juno? How can we help today? Thank y'all for taking the call. First of all, I've got to say, this is not going to be as interesting as half of the people I've heard from. Thank God. Thank God, Juno.

We need some straight talk from Juno in Memphis. This will be easy. My son just graduated high school, started an electrician apprenticeship. He's never had a job. So now he's making $500 a week. Bring it home, $500 a week. You know, with the apprenticeship that goes up every year,

I'm not sure how much it'll go up. But basically, he's a blank slate. And I don't know. I haven't succeeded financially, so to speak, but I want him to. So given a blank slate, what does he do with his $500 a week? He currently has no bills. He's still living at home. Can I tell you the greatest gift you can give him?

Go for it. We're going to send you, as our gift, we're going to send you every dollar app for him and for you, and we'll also send you both Financial Peace University, but you have to promise me you'll make him watch it, okay? So we've got the info taken care of. I did a practicum with a buddy who's about 10 years younger than me, and he was this real famous psychologist.

He's a smart, smart man. Long story short, we were working with traumatized kids and one of the young men that we were meeting with, a really young kid, was saying some pretty awful things about women. And I also had a two-year-old son at the time and he wasn't old enough to speak or anything,

but as we were going from room to room, I looked at my professor and I said, hey, what are you supposed, hey, what are you supposed to tell little boys so that they'll respect women? And he laughed and he said something that stuck with me. And this is years ago. He said, he laughed and he goes, you can tell them whatever you want. Kids don't listen to you. They watch you. And if you're telling me, hey, I haven't done the best job. the greatest gift you can give your kid is to take him to breakfast to a local waffle house and sit down across the table and say

i'm gonna be honest with you son i'll tell you something i've never i never told anybody i didn't do this well i didn't budget well i put our family in some time some hot water this is dad being vulnerable to son, and then dad doing this. I'm going to start living differently, and I want to encourage you as you start your life to come with me. Here is the EveryDollar app I'm going to give you for a year, courtesy of our friends over at Ramsey. And I want you to watch the FPU videos with me, and we are going to make a budget together. And he's going to get to watch his old man change, which is one of the greatest gifts a father can give his son.

That's the way to go. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. I'm George Campbell, joined by Dr. John Deloney. You've heard us mention EveryDollar on this show and shows previous. If you're wondering what that is, that is an app that our team created to help you live out the Ramsey plan. This is an intentional spending plan. We created a very sophisticated and yet simple way to take control of the money for you to make the most of it. And that's what it does. You list out your income at the top every single month before the month begins,

list out your expenses and watch the margin happen. Watch you achieve your goals by just simply focusing on it. And so you can download EveryDollar for free in the App Store or Google Play today, and I recommend you do. It's fantastic. All right, let's get to the lines. Janice awaits in Lexington, Kentucky. Janice, what's going on? Hi. So I have family in Louisiana, actually, and we just found out that pretty much all of our parents are sick, me and my husband.

His mom just recently had to have surgery, so she needs help. My dad just got diagnosed with cancer. My mom is still going through a lot of health stuff and his dad has really bad diabetes to where he's about to leave a foot and we also have fifty thousand dollars in debt and we were in the middle of paying that when we got all these calls simultaneously at once. I guess they all just got together and move in December, which is when my dad is going to start his treatment, when his dad will start, you know, physical therapy and stuff like that for us to help them. What happens with your jobs? Are you both remote to where you could

just make this move easily or do you need to find new jobs so i um so my husband is able to relocate i am a baker and i actually own a bakery i don't really focus on it right now i have a job where i make about $40,000 to $45,000 depending on the day. And then I was planning on just focusing on my bakery because I have a lot of friends and family in Louisiana. So you could restart the bakery business there. He can relocate. So this is pretty easy. Yeah.

It'll be, you know, kind of, sort of, easier. Do you guys have a house to sell or are you renting? You know, a kind of sort of a easier transition. Do you guys have a house to sell or are you renting? We're renting right now. Okay, and you'd rent somewhere in Louisiana or would you stay with family? So I would rent in Louisiana and my dad has been talking about helping us with a down payment for a house. So Janice, what does, this is a lot of information you took on all at once.

What does help look like in your mind? Like help? Yeah, like you said you're going to move to help them. So, we often, when there's a hurricane, when there's all kinds of, a family storm, we want to jump in and solve stuff. But y'all don't have the money to pay bills. And so is this about taking them to their appointments? What do you envision help being?

Because this is a huge mess. So I will be taking or just spending more time with my dad, really helping him around the house, helping with the kids. Because I do have a younger brother and sister. Sorry, I'm nervous. No, it's okay. You're okay. And you guys have no kids? I do have a younger.

We do not have kids. I've actually been going to the doctor myself to try and get my health in order as well. Okay. What does your husband make? My husband makes anywhere between 45 and 48, and he gets a raise every 18 months. So here in, right after we move, he's going to get another raise. Okay. My fear is that you guys move, you basically lose your income because you're full-time caretaker essentially. And we're now trying to live off his income while trying to pay off $50,000 of debt. And you guys can't pay your bills and your stress while trying

to take care of ailing family members. Is that a reasonable scenario that could be true? I mean, yeah. And like I said, I have basically a job if I wanted to waiting for me there as a nanny. And when I was working for them, I was making about as much as I'm making now. Okay. So I could easily supplement this income with with that that would be my caveat i think if you want to make this move to be close to family that's fine but don't let it slow down your snowball progress knocking out this debt or let me yeah let me say it this way you're not going to be the help that you can be and you want to be to your family members if you

move across the country and ride up and you're barely able to make be and you want to be to your family members if you move across the country and ride up and you're barely able to make rent and you are stressed and you're sick and your marriage falls apart too okay so i want you and your husband if y'all make this move it's i think it's noble i think it's great and i think december is a great time to do this um i probably wouldn't george tell me if i'm wrong here i'd probably go into stork mode. I'd start stacking cash as much as we, I would try to stack as much cash as humanly possible. If I was you, I would bake my fingers off. Not literally because that'd be gross if somebody ate that, but I would bake and bake and bake and bake and bake and bake and then drive on the weekends. I would do whatever we could to stack up as much cash as possible. And then I

would make this move for as inexpensively as possible, meaning I'd leave. If you got junky old furniture, I'd leave it and get some junky old furniture when you get to Louisiana. I've already told them I am selling everything we can. Good. So I'm going to wash it and dry it. We're going to get a mattress vacuum bag for the mattress. By the way,

we can vacuum it up and put it right back into that box. Once you've got your moving expenses saved, you've got first month's deposit saved, maybe you even move in with family to save money on the front end. I don't know what that looks like for your situation, but that could be a way to where you're able to make progress on the debt and be with family at the same time, at least as you start when you make this move. Then you guys can figure out where you're going to rent. But I want you all to sit down and make a plan. Here's how much money we're going to make.

Here's the job, not just, oh, I got one waiting for me. No, no, no. Here's the job. I've called those people. I start on this day. Here's what the payment, the salary is going to be. And we're going to make a budget that way. We're going to be able to pay our bills that way. And then once we are anchored in and we're safe,

we're going to be able to help our family members as much as we can with the resources that we have. We're not going to drown ourselves trying to help people because then we're no good to help them out. And John, how do you address this issue where we want to make this move, we want to help, but we're not in a position to do so, but there's ailing family members over there, and you just want to do something, and you want to at least be with them physically. How do you help people navigate that? There's only so much we can do, like you mentioned. eight, Dr. Young, who trained me on crisis response, he always reminded me, you walk as

often as you can to a chaotic situation. And that's not always practical, but the idea being, if somebody comes in and says, hey, there's an emergency over there, and I go, ah, and I sprint and run over there, I've brought my chaos to an already chaotic situation. If I say, okay, I'm coming to help, and I walk and I drop my shoulders and I breathe, I bring peace and calm to a chaotic situation. And if you see well, well-trained special forces guys, man, they are smooth, right?

They are smooth. Their heart rate doesn't change. They've trained on this. They bring stability and peace to chaotic situations and so this is just another version of that mom's sick dad's sick dad's sick like everybody's ah let's move sell everything and run and we've just brought chaos to an already chaotic situation that's different than honey let's go out this weekend and we're going to map out what a budget's going to be we're going to map out how much money could we save between now and December. We're going to

save it like mad. We're going to open up a high yield savings account. We're going to dump it all in there. We're going to get rid of everything. We're going to move with our two cars and nothing else because we're not going to pay for movers and we'll figure out nightstands and whatever off Facebook marketplace. When we get there, we are going to bring peace and calm to a chaotic situation. We're going to have our lives anchored in so that we can then show up and be present with our hurting parents. That's the beauty of the Ramsey Plan. If, not if, but when life hits you, be ready. You have the margin and freedom to just go do it. You've got the money. You've got the peace. You don't

owe people anything. That's the power of that. Good hour, John. Thank you to all the folks in the booth keeping the show afloat. And you, thank you so much for listening we'll be back real soon Take care.