The Ramsey Show - App - My Husband Moved Out 5 Years Ago and We're Just Now Thinking About Divorce (Hour 1)

Episode Date: January 27, 2021

Debt, Savings, Business, Home Selling Sign Up for a FREE trial of Ramsey+ TODAY: https://bit.ly/31ricKt  Tools to get you started:  Debt Calculator: https://bit.ly/2QIoSPV Insurance Coverage Checkup: https://bit.ly/2BrqEuo Complete Guide to Budgeting: https://bit.ly/2QEyonc Check out more Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/2JgzaQR

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. Christy Wright, Ramsey personality and best-selling author, is my co-host today. Open phones as we talk about your life and your money. That's 888-825-5225. Christy is author of the number one best-selling book, Business Boutique, A Woman's Guide for Making Money, Doing What She Loves,

and also the newly minted best-selling devotional called Living True, 40 Days to Get Back to You. So we'll talk to you guys about whatever you want to talk about in your life. Christy and I are here to help you. Certainly money is what a lot of people call about, but we'll help you wherever you are. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Christina is in Tempe, Arizona to start this hour off. Hi, Christina, how are you? Good, how are you?

Better than I deserve. What's up? Hi. So I'm 21 years old. I'm pregnant. Five months pregnant. And I'm currently in a horrible auto loan. I owe $18,000. $4,000 underwater

with a 26% interest rate. You got messed over, didn't you? Yes. You were like desperate for a car and closed your eyes and signed whatever they put in front of you. Yep. Wow. I guess you learned your lesson on that go-round, huh?

I did. I'm sorry. What a mess. What do you make a year um about 25 000 okay man how in the world they qualify you for an 18 000 26 percent loan and expected you to pay it somebody's an idiot oh there are shysters and they're idiots okay um yeah the car's got to go obviously uh wow and you said you're five months pregnant i am yes okay i uh you're gonna have to come up with the $4,000 to get rid of the car, and that's probably going to be a loan from your credit union. Could your family help you with that? They can, yeah. I just don't want to depend on them right now. Okay. I don't want you to depend on them either, but I want you out of this car. It's got to go. Now, if we get rid of the car what are you going to drive

um i was thinking about refinancing my car um paying the four thousand dollars up front and maybe still keep the car and maybe if i'm lucky i'm able to like lower my payment and no lower interest rate you have a car you can't afford. Okay. It's ridiculous. I mean, you make $25,000 a year. You don't drive around in a car that's $18,000. Right. It just doesn't.

There's no way this makes sense. It's a bad deal. So the car needs to go bye-bye. And then you're going to have a $4,000 loan and no car. So we've got to get you $1,000 or something, $1,500 to get you a hoopty to ride around in. Okay. Anyway, do you have any access to any kind of a work? I hate to put the whip on your back with you five months pregnant, but you're in a mess,

and I'd love for you to pick up some more income to be able to address all this. Yeah. I'm working 40 hours at a dental office right now okay about 14 yeah do you have any access to extra work that you can do five months pregnant i don't i was thinking maybe like like Uber or something like that may help. Yeah, you won't be able to do that if you get rid of this car and get a $1,500 car. Uber won't qualify you with an old car like that. But you've got to get rid of this car. So where's the dad?

Dad's working. Dad's working. He's going to school for EMT right now. Okay, did I miss something? Somehow I got the impression you weren't married. Oh, no, I'm not married. Oh, okay. All right. So are y'all living together?

Yes, we're living together. Okay. So he's going to EMT school and he makes what? Well, right now he's just working at a grocery store, but he's going to EMT school and he makes what? Well, right now he's just working at a grocery store, but he's going to EMT school. We're just kind of living off just minimum wage jobs right now. Okay. How old is he? He's 23.

Okay. Christy? Yeah, I mean, I think it's one of those things where you turn every dial that you can. So what that looks like for you, Christina, if you can start a side gig, if you can pick up a few extra hours doing administrative something that's not going to be really hard on you five months pregnant to create a little bit of extra income on your boyfriend for him to take a second job for him to take a third job for him to help turn the dials in the income as well but this has to

be a team effort not just because the car is a situation that's a strain on you but because you both have a baby on the way and so there's this fire under you to get yourself financially stable have a stable vehicle to be able to drive your baby home from the hospital in so there's this fire under you to get yourself financially stable, have a stable vehicle to be able to drive your baby home from the hospital in. So there's more of an urgency than there would be otherwise if you were in this situation with the car and were not pregnant. Does your boyfriend have debt? No, he has zero debt. That's good news. Okay.

All right. I'm going to tell you what I'm really thinking. Are you okay with that? Yeah. Okay. All right. I'm going to tell you what I'm really thinking. Are you okay with that? Yeah. Okay. Because I care about you and I want you to win. I'm thinking about a 31-year-old Christina with a 10-year-old child. Okay? And I want her to be in a really, really good place and i think the best way for that to happen is for you guys to quit playing house and be grown-ups and get married you have a baby you're playing house and it's time for

young man to uh pull up his boots and go get six freaking jobs and take care of his family and get rid of your stupid car and take care of his pregnant wife and he need you all need to be married by friday and you guys need to get on with your life and he needs to roll up his sleeves man up now and and take that take the bit in his mouth and get this get this family taken care of because five minutes ago i had a pregnant had a five-month pregnant woman on the phone who got messed over royally on a car, stuck in it. But now later in the conversation I've got this young man standing here, and it's time for him to be that.

I've got a question for you. What about EMT school? Is now the time for EMT school with everything they've got going on, or does he pause EMT school? He may have to. That's what stuck out to me. The primary goal is not his self-actualization. It's feeding his wife and his. You know, that's what stuck out to me. Primary goal is not his self-actualization. It's feeding his wife and his baby.

Well, that's what stuck out to me. I was like, it's not never on EMT school, but maybe this isn't the time for EMT school when you've got these more urgent things like a baby and a car loan. Well, or maybe you're just not home much because you're in EMT school and you're still working 40 freaking hours. Right. And I'm okay with that, too. I've done that kind of stuff when I was your age, Christina. Lots of people have done that kind of stuff when i was your age christina yeah lots of people have done that kind of stuff when i was your age but you're kind of you feel like a single mom over here yeah and yet over on the other side i've got this guy

standing here and it's just weird i'm just going to say it out loud and so i'm going to be papa dave here and love you and say if you were my kid my kid, that would have been my advice to you. The best way you can have an awesome 31-year-old version of you is you guys, you know, let's do this in the right order here. It's a big deal. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. If the new year inspires you to make changes to improve your life, then let me give you a smart goal that will make a big impact. Get rid of your crappy, waste-of-money, cash-value insurance policy

and protect your family with term life insurance. Not only is it an easy goal to accomplish, but you'll also save a ton of money. It's not complicated, folks. In fact, it couldn't be easier when you call the team at Zander Insurance. They shop the top-rated life insurance companies for you and have developed a touchless system featuring many low-cost plans that don't even require an exam. That's just one of the reasons why I've trusted them

with my insurance needs for over 20 years. Don't carry around the baggage of an expensive cash value ripoff plan. Give Zander a call at 800-356-4282. Or go to Zander.com and let them help you make a positive change this new year. Thank you for joining us, America. Open phones at 888-825-5225. You jump in. We will talk. So, a study done

about a decade ago says that you need to only do three things to avoid living in poverty. Graduate from high school, marry before having a child, and have that child after age 20. Only 8% of the people who do those three things fall into poverty.

79% who fail to do those three things in that order land in poverty. Those are statistics, not moral judgments. Graduate from high school, be married before you have a baby and be over 20 before you have a baby pretty simple basic life choices um and these studies go on from there that show you know uh a 2014 report american enterprise institute did says that adjusting for family size family income is 73 percent higher for married women than it is for women who are not married and living with someone so as a woman's empowerment issue there is a tremendous economic lift statistically speaking on average when a lady is married and so that last call that we take from that super young girl she was 20 years old or 21 years old yeah yeah um these decisions that you're making

at that age especially for women uh there's a there's a marriage there's what's called a marriage lift in economics too that just shows that by and large more wealthy people are married than unmarried and so there's some dynamic there and it can't just simply be that there's two incomes yeah you know that the math could be the cause of that we don't know the causation of it the marriage is necessarily the causation but there there just seems to be something that when people are doing life together uh under the heading of marriage that that there's you know multiple studies that that show the probability of you not only avoiding poverty but being more successful in your life. Yeah, I think it's interesting how you always highlight the economic benefit to marriage because I think people don't think of that.

Now, let's talk about this. This is interesting, though, because in that example with Christina in that last call, I don't know if she wants to get married and just isn't or if she didn't want to get married either. But there's an interesting dynamic where typically, and I know you make some people mad with this, but typically the man proposes. And if you're talking to women who want to get married, who are in a relationship, what would you say to someone that wants to get married, but her husband hasn't, her boyfriend has not proposed?

Because you don't want to be this needy nag that's like well where's my ring but at the same time you're like what are we doing here what does that look like well i mean we're we're living together and having babies together so it's kind of like yeah this is like you know everything the deal's already done we just need to sign the deal right and so this is not like uh you're dating and you're uh trying to pressure there's not a baby on the way and you've got independent lives financially and then you're needy that's not you know that's a whole different conversation but um but i would say a lot of people in younger generations don't equate those things that they're and you get the calls all the time they're perfectly fine living together and having babies and not being married.

A lot of them do that. And so I don't think in their mind they equate, well, because we're doing this, we must get married or it means we should get married or we're going to get married. They're just kind of cool with it. You know, I think some people think that. So what would you say to someone?

Well, let's continue reading some of these statistics because I think it does address that. You know, I mean, only 4% of homes with a married mother and father are on food stamps at any given time. 21% of cohabitating and 28% of single mothers are on food stamps. So these are socioeconomic decisions that you control and uh and the reason is is that a house divided against itself can't stand you know when you pull it when you're pulling it two ends of something all you do is break it down yeah you're not pulling in the same direction you you have not you've not uh committed for the long haul and so you make short-term decisions. Yeah. And it blows your money up, and it blows your career up,

and it blows your parenting up, and it blows up everything. Yeah. And so, you know, a goal in achieving the American dream, only 41% of cohabitating adults and 44% of singles actually own their own home, where 78% of married people own their own home, where 78% of married people own their own home. You're twice as likely to be a homeowner married. See, these are all wealth indicators. And so there's something going on here of the joining of forces versus shacking up.

Yeah. And so, you know, and people get all pissed off because off because you know you don't have a right to tell me i don't have a right to tell you anything all you gotta do is change the channel if you don't want me telling you stuff but you're here you're here because i'm going to tell you stuff that's that's why we call this the dave ramsey show if you want somebody else tell you stuff get somebody else but you know there is there is a problem here that we've just ignored because everybody's so afraid to address this because it's a moral issue as well a spiritual issue as well it is but i want to clarify something i want to i want i want you to explain this to me you're speaking to the issue of cohabitating you're not speaking just to the issue of singleness because

the issue of singleness you can't really totally no no no i'm not i'm not you're exactly okay i want to clarify that you know and and you know having babies outside of wedlock yeah old-fashioned phrase okay but the statistical evidence is it's disastrous for your life yeah yeah the numbers show it the numbers show it yeah and so you know there's something to a shotgun wedding you know or like you told christina by friday you get her pregnant daddy comes up with a shotgun you're gonna marry her i mean that's old school hillbilly stuff right but there's something to that because what it does is it sets you up not in the moment yeah but it sets you up for a pattern of decisions going forward that cause your next 10 years, you're twice as likely to be a homeowner.

You are 10x less likely to be on welfare. Yeah. That's pretty dramatic. It is. It is. And the numbers show it. What's interesting, and I don't think we have the data on this, but I'm curious because you get calls a lot of times too, Dave, and this may not be as common, but you see a pattern where people are married but not working as a team.

They've got their own bank accounts. They've got their own bank accounts they've got their hidden debts they've got all this stuff and you're seeing an economic disaster in there even even though they're married because they're not working as a team you're seeing the house crumble in on itself exactly because of the behavior but what's so interesting is when you have the the commitment of marriage the structure of marriage the uh teamwork element you're forced to work as a team. It's much more conducive to those results you're talking about because you have committed, you're putting things together, and you're working as a team. If you don't, it's still going to be a problem if you're not a team.

It's just, for your own daughter, you know, you've got to look at her and go, if he gets the warmth of your bed he gets the 26 car loan yeah yeah i mean yeah these things go together yeah baby doll yeah why are you calling in the dave ramsey shows shows stressed out about your 26 interest and he's chasing emt school i'm not against emt school but i'm like it feels like he is moving forward with his goals and you are trying to clean up problems in the past we need to reconcile these two yeah and then and then make decisions as a team together as to what's good for the team the family unit and most of all for this baby that's on that's right there's a such an urgency because of that and so um i i

just i want you guys out there to hear uh this is not holier than thou. This is not talking down to someone. There are some economic and statistical details and indicators that are really not arguable that you're swimming upstream against. Well, you can disagree with the morality. You can disagree with your stance or religious stance or moral stance, and the numbers still don't change the results economically. Exactly. There was no indication. I mean, I didn't bring up church attendance.

Yeah. But, you know, by the way, that does enter into also a wealth building thing, but a higher likelihood. Regular worship attendance, whether you're Christian, Jewish, Muslim, regular worship attendance is correlated with a higher probability of building wealth because a character is being built. And, you know, it's a pretty simple thing when you think about it. But you cannot leave these things separate from, I'm just going to ask a math question. Doesn't work. Sorry, guys. This is how it is.

We love you guys. We want you to win. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. Christy Wright, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. You jump in. We'll talk about your life and your money. Carla is with us in Los Angeles.

Hi, Carla. How are you? Hi, Dave. How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up? Thanks for taking my call. Sure.

Going off your last segment, actually, I am a single mom, and what I call all your gems in the last three years have helped me pay off $11,200 in credit card debt. Proud of you. Way to go. And my student loans. Wow. There you go. So thank you for your gems. I'm proud of you. Well done.

It changed my life completely. Good. I'm glad we were able to help you. Thank you. So my question is, now I'm kind of scared. I have some money saved up. I've got about $52,000 saved up. And here in Los Angeles, they're allowing ADUs, which is converting your garage into, like, a unit that you can rent. And in my area, about a 500 square foot garage is renting out for anywhere from $1,200 to $1,600.

Wow. It will take about $30,000 though to convert my garage into, you know, sports. It had its own bathroom, its own kitchen and its own living space with, you know, all the legalizations of the city. And I don't know if that's something I want to do. Is that a smart investment for me?

Is that something that I can capitalize on? And I do also have one thing that's haunting me from my past is a lease that I got four years ago. That lease is going to be up in December. So I know I'm going to need about $10,000. I'm going to buy a car. I'm going to have to use about $10,000 to just flat out buy a car, so I'll be needing a lot of money there, and I only have about $52,000, so I don't know if that's a smart

move for me to do. What's your household income? In 2020, I made $141,000. Good for you. And the car lease is up when? November, December. Okay. Well, you're a saving maniac, so you could have some more money saved by then, right?

Yeah, that's what I was thinking, to save more. Yeah. So I have a more cushion, and I'm just scared to deplete all of that. So here would be my goal you know and i would lay the math out and see if you can do it i want you to have an emergency fund of three to six months of expenses at all times in this discussion you currently do for sure so let's let's set that number i'll just make one up and let's call that twenty five thousand dollars okay i don't care if you make it 35 you make it whatever I'll just make one up, and let's call that $25,000, okay?

I don't care if you make it $35,000. You can make it whatever. And that means you've got $27,000 left over after that, okay? Okay. And so you can start your project immediately if it's $30,000, and it does make mathematical sense to do that because you're going to increase the value of your home, and you're going to make all your money back with additional rent within two years right and i'm not planning to move because i cannot afford a home out here where i'm living currently another

home you know the prices are just crazy high yeah but i mean your home will go up in value some maybe not 30 000 but maybe more than 30 000 i don't know what it'll do to it by doing this. And you're going to make $30,000 more in two years. Okay. About $18,000 a month. $18,000. $1,500 a month is $18,000 a year. Okay? Okay.

So, yeah, we're going to do this project. I think it's a great project. I'm going to do it. And I think you start it immediately, and you set $25,000 aside as your emergency fund, and you cash flow, you know, you make sure that other $2,000 or whatever you got there. And then between now and November, you've just got to save up for your car, and you can do that. I can. Okay, thank you so much.

I'm just scared, but I'm going to go for it. Thank you for everything. You've helped me. If you follow the plan we just laid out, you won't. Yeah, you've got the savings. It's just the unknown. It's the unknown. It's the risk.

It's the new that feels scary. You've got the money there, and you've got a plan to save more money, Carla. So if you look at the numbers, the numbers don't lie. You're in a good position to do this. And you feel competent to manage the rental without any fears around that, right? Because I'm a single mom, it does worry me but um i'm a nurse so my plan was actually to rent out to travel nurses to the la area because i see they're always asking for oh do you do you guys know anyone who's renting out you know a room that has a small kitchen a bathroom

because they get spiced in so i'm planning to to have a family house. So I think you pick someone that goes in there based on safety as well as their ability to pay. And if you're doing short-term like that, you should be able to make, I mean, I don't know what location you're in, Carla, but typically when you've got short-term rentals like that, it makes even more than that. Yeah, that's exactly right. But yeah, I think that's a perfect idea, that yeah that's exactly right so but yeah i think that's a perfect idea that you're not going to rent to um just anybody to to um to intimidating whatever's right yeah or parties or whatever yeah you yeah and with word of mouth in your industry

you you know nurses you know people are always asking word gets out that you've got a cute place and you're yes you're a great host. Oh, my gosh. Like, I think once word spreads, you'll have no problem filling that with good, safe people doing exactly what you want to do, which is helping traveling nurses. I think that's awesome. You need to do some research and get a proper lease, a copy of a lease that you can use. And you need to learn from some property managers and some other people. Just talk to people around there that do that on how to qualify a tenant, make sure that they're going to pay.

You don't just take their word for it. Make sure they get a deposit. And obviously, it's someone that you feel the safety part of is going to be more than adequate. But, yeah, the travel nurse idea is a wonderful idea. And I would say because it's your garage right there, like, set some boundaries around. I mean, it's right there. You know, you're right there. So just set some boundaries around that.

Even if it's travel nurse, you don't want party travel nurse. You don't want anybody showing up at your house. I mean, you don't want her throwing parties over there all the time, and you've got little kids. I mean, so this ain't party central. So it's someone with a value system that matches up that you want to have next door. Almost as if you would have them as a roommate. Roommate, yes. Because it kind of is.

I mean, they're right there. Yeah, and with your baby there, too. Julianne is with us in Florence, South Carolina. Hi, Julianne. How are you? Hey, Dave. Hey, Christy. Hey, what's going on?

I'm so happy to talk with you. Yes. Okay. I am a Christian fiction author. And first of all, Dave, I want to say how much you've helped me with money. And Christy, you have given me such confidence. And moving forward with these novels, I just want to say thank you up front. That's awesome.

I started out writing some short stories. I put my short stories on Facebook. And my Facebook friends were like, Julianne, girl, you have got to write a novel. So, 2019, I took the plunge. I wrote The Christmas No One Expected. 2020, I wrote The Rancher Next Door and A Date on the Napa Halo. So, so far, I am self-publishing on Amazon. I'm selling on my Facebook business page.

I've got about 600 followers there. I've got them in a handful of stores, and I set up as a vendor at festivals and so forth. I've got some awesome feedback from my readers at this point. I'm super excited. I plan to write another two novels a year. I'm on track for that. Dave, I know I hear you say a lot how you started selling books out of the trunk of your car. And, Christy, I know you do such a fabulous job at helping women in business.

And I just wondered if either of you had any advice for me in getting these novels off the ground just a little bit more. Well, they're off the ground. Yeah. Here's what's awesome and hard, Jillian, about what you're doing as a self-published author and all that. What's awesome about it is you're doing everything yourself so you can control it and you can do whatever you want to.

The hard part is you're doing everything yourself so you're not just wearing the author hat, you're also wearing the marketer hat. It sounds like you've been spending a lot of time wearing the author hat. You've been writing a lot of time wearing the author hat. You've been writing a lot and you've got plans to write more, which is awesome. But we've got to spend a little bit of time, at least, to wear the marketing hat. And that marketing hat looks like getting these books in front of eyeballs. Because it doesn't matter how awesome your books are.

If no one knows about them, they can't buy them. And so I would say I would start exploring other outlets. I don't know if you have a blog, but even putting excerpts of your books on a blog, on your social media, not just on your Facebook page, but can you put samples where like every Monday you give a little bit of the story and you're like, what happened? What happened to the character? What happened next? And you're waiting till next Monday to get the next piece of the story. Give them samples. You've got to get your writing out there where people actually want to buy the book. If you watch me right now, Julian, I'm doing this.

I'm doing this, Dave. Every few days a week, I go live on Instagram and I share an excerpt of my devotional, Living True 40 Days to Get Back to You. It's to give people a sample to go, hey, remember I've got this devotional. Hey, remember, hey, you're not sure if it's for you. Let me give you a sample. You've got to get it out there in the marketing, Julian, if people are going to buy it. I love that you're great at writing and you love writing, but you've got to market also if

people are going to buy it. And I like the initiative you've shown. You've scratched around. You pulled this thing out there. You got her done. I mean, you got the Amazon account set up. You got the bookstore account. You've done really well. You just keep scratching and clawing and hustle and grind like you're doing. I think you're going to be just fine. But, yeah, it's all about allocating some marketing time and dollars out of your budget. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. We'll be right back. and the best-selling devotional, Living True, 40 Days to Get Back to You, is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Paul is in Atlanta. Hey, Paul, welcome to The Dave Ramsey Show. Dave, thank you so much for taking my call.

I just want to tell you, this means a lot to me to be able to ask you a couple questions. Well, we're honored. How can we help? Dave, back in the summer, in August, I contracted COVID, and I wound up being in a hospital for almost three months. I was on life support for three weeks. I was in a coma for over a month, and ICU for almost a month after that. Racked up over a million dollars in hospital debt. Thankfully, I had insurance, so I wasn't responsible for paying all that. I've paid off my portion of it since then. Also got married to the person that was standing beside me through everything.

And before I get started on my question, on the break, you mentioned the importance of a will, and I 100% agree, but I also had another document that saved my life. It was an advanced medical directive. Yes. I got to the point where I could make any decisions because I refused going on the ventilator four different times. And when I first went to the hospital, I told them who was appointed in my directive, and they actually contacted this person, and they authorized him to save my life. Wow.

And for that document, I wouldn't be here now. Wow. And also the Lord. I mean, he's the most powerful reason I'm here. So, after I got out of the hospital, I decided to get married. I'd been engaged for a while. And since then, we bought a home. Just got married in December.

I bought the home right before we got married. I've sold my other house and I'm trying to decide what to do with the money. I have not been very smart with finances in my lifetime. I have no debt. Unfortunately, my granddad always told me to pay for stuff as I went and not accrue a lot of credit cards and things like that. But I've just been a typical person and I've just blown my money like crazy. Like I said, I just was introduced to you after I got out of the hospital and just a few weeks ago, as a matter of fact, I bought a friend. So I'm selling this house for $200,000. I've got it sold. I'm supposed to close on it in just a few days. And I've got some other rental property.

I owe $400,000 on the mortgage on the house I'm in now. I put about $25,000 down on it when I first bought it. Okay. So I'm trying to decide what the smart thing to do is because after that bout this fall and everything, it really changed my perspective on life. Sure. What a deal you put through, brother. What a wild year.

The best of times and the worst of times he gets married gets a house and gets coveted oh my gosh and not in that order wow so uh and a really bad bout with covet to boot but um yes sir so uh the two hundred thousand dollar property that's selling is it paid for it is so you're going to clear approximately two hundred thousand plus minus some expenses all right good yes good and,000 on your house, and the rentals, what do you owe on them? They're all paid for. Good, good. That's awesome.

Okay. It sounds like you have done well with money, Paul. You said you've made a lot of mistakes with money. You have no debt. You've got some paid-for houses. I don't know. I hear some good things happening. I don't know.

I think if I'd have been introduced to you guys 20 years ago, I'd be a millionaire. But I listen to people talk about it on your show because I've listened to a lot of podcasts since I was introduced to you. And I wish I was there. Well, you will be. You're on your way. You're in really good shape. What's your household income? I do about $140,000 and she does right at almost $50,000.

Okay. So a couple hundred thousand there. Very good. Very good. All right. So basically we're going to do what we always do here and that's walk up the baby steps. You're debt-free except your home. Do you have an emergency fund?

I do. How much is in it? About $45,000. Perfect. Do you have any investments that are not retirement investments and not these rental properties? No. So you don't have any money in a 401k or anything like that? Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you said, I apologize. Yes, I do. I looked at it shortly before I went into the hospital, and I just started a job a few years ago. That's the first time I've had a paid job. I've been

just doing things on my own for a while. I think I've got about $70,000 in that. Okay, but you don't have any non-retirement investments at all, right? No. Good, except these houses. Excellent. Okay. Yes. Well, perfect.

Well, that puts you at baby step four. You would start putting 15% of your household income away for retirement. That comes out of your budget. Five is kids' college. Are there any kids involved that need to be sent to college i've already said my kids are i've already that's done okay then the only thing left is to pay off your home that's baby step six and so any money you can find beyond putting 15 of your income into retirement uh and living uh is going to go into the paying

off your house and that includes the $200,000 here. So I suspect you'll have a paid-for home and two paid-for rental properties. You know, if you put $200,000 down, that leaves you $200,000 to go, making $200,000, three years, four years, you'll have that house paid for. And that's what I would do is just walk you right up those baby steps into millionaire status, and you're gonna get really really close really really fast he's done well yeah it's impressive too because it's so interesting to hear all the things he's done right and it's so easy to focus on oh well maybe i didn't do as well here it's like gosh

you've done a ton of things really really well i mean that's that's impressive he's in a great spot yeah the millionaire that's that's around the corner for you. So that's awesome. Andy is in Pittsburgh. Hi, Andy. Welcome to The Dave Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave. I am honored to talk to you. I am thrilled. My main question, well, two things.

Number one, I hate debt. And number two, I hate divorce. My main question is about buying out my soon-to-be ex. It is not where I want to be at age 52. He decided we were married for 20 years. He decided he didn't want to be married anymore, and he moved out. The kids, I have two daughters. They were in, well, one was was in college one was in high school at

the time they're both grown and graduated from college now um he moved out four years ago pardon me he moved out four years ago five years ago um are you have you been divorced that long or you're not divorced yet no we're not divorced yet? No, we're not divorced yet. He left and then did nothing about it. And I've been scared, very emotionally dependent on nothing. Like our marriage is done. No desire to get back together. I'm scared to get divorced.

I don't believe in it. I hate it. I hate the thought of it. I hate the word. All of that. I agree with you, but you've been divorced for five years. You just hadn't admitted it yet. Right.

And I think I'm finally accepting it now. Yeah. So I kind of went forward and said, I need some closure. And we talked about it. My life has just been up and down. I worked for the airline for 20 years, then lost my job there, went back to school to be a teacher, again, paid along the way. What are you doing now? Right now, I am working at a cyber school as a secretary.

I haven't been able to find a job as a teacher, but I have a teaching degree. So right now I'm making $25,000 a year, and then I take on six kids to tutor, to teach reading. Good. What do you owe on this house? Well, it's worth about $210,000, and we paid it off. I worked very, very hard to pay it off um i worked very very hard to pay it off um and then when he left he um took thirty thousand dollars out of it in a home equity and bought himself a car and an apartment and all this stuff um so there's a thirty thousand dollar home equity loan on it right it's twenty five thousand now okay well that obviously comes out of his share right Right. We talked about it, which I guess is my main question for you.

Our house is worth about $210,000. I don't want to leave the home. I'm living here. Both of my kids are old. I got it. So the deal we talked about was that he would give me $100,000 of his 401k, and then I would take over the $25,000 home equity and also give him $50,000. That sounds like a reasonable deal. You're buying out his half for $75,000, and then you get half his 401k.

And this mess is cleaned up. Yeah. So you're going to have a $75,000 mortgage is what you're going to go get. So go to your credit union and get a $75,000 mortgage on as short a term as you can possibly stand. Maybe five years. Maybe seven years. Maybe ten years. You won't need

a 15 year on that. It's a small loan. Go to your local credit union with no closing costs and get that loan. And you should be able to get that. And then let's work to get that paid off. My goodness, I'm sorry. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Have a friend or family member

that needs a daily dose of Ramsey advice in their life? Let them know about the Ramsey Call of the Day podcast. It's a quick hit of advice about life and money in under 10 minutes. Check out the Ramsey Call of the Day podcast wherever you listen to podcasts.