The Ramsey Show - App - My Husband Refuses To Combine Finances With Me (Hour 1)

Episode Date: August 1, 2023

Dave Ramsey & Dr. John Delony answer your questions and discuss:   EveryDollar, budget for the life you want today for free: Click Here Get John's new book, Building a Non-Anxious Life, "My husband refuses to combine finances with me," "Should I pull from my 401(k) for a home down payment?" "How can I convince my daughter not to get a credit card?" "What's next now that I'm debt-free?" Getting out of a land loan. Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET Enter The Ramsey Cash Giveaway for a chance to win $3,000! https://bit.ly/TRSCashGiveaway Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: Click Here Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: Click Here Interested in advertising on The Ramsey Show? Click Here Learn more about your ad choices. https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the pods moving in storage studios, it's The Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, best-selling author, is my co-host today. And a big day for Dr. John and all the folks here at Ramsey. We are really excited. His brand-new book, Building a Non-Anxious Life, goes on sale today.

The pre-order goes on sale today. The preorder goes on sale today. And many of you have already responded to the pre-sale. And the book actually comes out October 8th? October 3rd. October 3rd. Thank you. And it is absolutely incredible. I'm very excited as the CEO of Ramsey and as a fellow Ramsey personality for the content of this book.

It's absolutely incredible. How to build a non-anxious life. So, John, how do you build a non-anxious life? I'm still figuring this out myself. Don't put out a book in front of 22 million people. That'll help. That's exactly right so um i think it goes back to a couple years ago right um when i i was um put on air to talk about the world had gone sideways and we were talking about

anxiety but it's anxious and stressed and burned out because we're all locked in our homes and we threw that quick readout uh redefining anxiety just a quick little hey guys this isn't the problem and that resonated so well. And anxiety is the symptom. That's exactly right. It's not the problem. And we thought that when we opened things back up and we got back to quote unquote normal, we'd all be good. And it feels like things have continued to cascade sideways.

Everybody, if you look at the data, everybody's anxious, burned out, stressed out. I tell audiences, half of you are struggling with anxiety, and the other half of you are married to somebody who is, right? Yeah. So everybody's cooked. And so really looking at anxiety is not the problem. Anxiety is the symptom. Anxiety is the alarm system. So if you're going to solve it, if you're going to build a non-anxious life,

you have to actually go to the source. That's right. You don't just take the batteries out of the alarm. That's right. You got to go to the source. That's right. You don't just take the batteries out of the alarm. That's right. You got to go to the source. And it is. What's causing it? It's about building a different life, man.

We are living lives that are not free. We're not dealing with reality. We have ignored our health. We have ignored our relationships. We're just a mess. We're untethered mess. And so this book was really me walking through this myself, right? What are the, how can i distill down the neuroscience how can i distill down the that the the ancient wisdom

that you get in the bible how do i distill all this down to six daily choices that a person can make every day to build a non-anxious life man and um i'm i'm pretty jazzed about it, pretty excited about it. Yeah. And the thing is, it's this wonderful combination of grandmother's wisdom and biblical wisdom and academic prowess. I mean, you've got the two PhDs, and so this stuff is not made up. This is all researched and dialed in very, very carefully, and yet it's very accessible and very readable. The most important thing for me was that my 13-year-old son could sit down and understand what this book was about, and I caught him reading it the other day. It lets me know, dude, if you want to go read a bunch of journals those journals are out there and for for the large swath of america and getting to be myself included those aren't accessible

um meaning you can't understand i can't understand them and and if you can it's hard to apply it so i wanted to create a book that put in the hands of men and women, fathers and daughters and brothers and sisters, how can we change our lives? And very similar to what you've done with money, which is to take a complex zoo of, of, of, of a financial system and just to still, here's how you live your life, man. I've tried to do the same thing with the anxiety and the burnout and the stress that we're all feeling. You know, one of the six choices is connection. And we've gotten, and I think the cell phone, the smartphone has made it worse, but we've gotten just horrible at personal relationships and having a friend.

That's right. And staying connected with human beings. Right. Borrowing a cup of sugar from your neighbor instead of having Amazon drop it on your front porch. Yeah. You know, and then you have a conversation with your neighbor and you find out, oh, you know, their husband's been ill. You know, I mean, oh my gosh, you find out stuff when you actually talk to human beings and have connection. And when you lose connection, a hermit is a, you know, being a hermit, whether it's a technological hermit or a real hermit, that's mental illness. It's not good for you. Yeah.

Yeah, it's not good for you. I had this experience recently. My neighbor, he's in his 70s. He's an old farmer, worked the land, and we had a bad rainstorm, and it washed out my gravel driveway. And I saw him in his tractor grading my driveway for me. Didn't even ask him to. Just grading my driveway for him. And he didn't ask you if he could.

That's right. He just started doing it. But but listen my wife made some she's a a world-class gardener she she made some some jars of pickles she made some sourdough bread brought over some venison that we had that we from last season and we brought him over a basket and he was working on his yard and i brought hank with me and i brought josephine with me and he looked at me and he dropped his shoulders. He's sweaty as could be. He came over and gave me a big hug. And I thought, this is what neighbors are supposed to be, right? You help me out. I want to honor you and your family. And I honored you. I didn't write you a check. And he said, I don't want your money because I was going to bring him cash. He goes, I'm not taking your

money. But when we brought him canned goods that represented time, that represented our garden. Love. That meant something to him, right? And it was about connection. And my kids got to see that. And when you don't have that. That's exactly right. Bottom line is the anxiety alarms are going to go off.

They have to go off. Because humans are made to hang with humans. Your body knows you're not safe. It is not good that men be alone. That's right. That's right. Your body knows you're not safe. And now I know no matter what happens, i got a great neighbor next to me that

loves my family right that's awesome and that's just a little piece of this book man i'm excited about it exactly that's one of the six choices that's right to building a non-anxious life brand new book comes out october 3rd it goes on sale today as a pre-sale. And here's the thing, $20 for the book. And if you buy it in pre-sale starting right now, you get $75 in free bonus items. Instant access to Dr. John Deloney's newest talk, Smoke, Fire, and Freedom, that breaks down some of the mythology about this that we believe about anxiety and help you reclaim your life. You get that talk right now. You also get the e-book and the audio book of building a non-anxious

life when the book comes out we'll send those to you as well all of that is a 75 value all for 20 bucks and of course you get the book too uh and pre-sale helps john and it helps us with the marketing so the more we can pre-sell the more it helps with the bestseller list and the more it helps with the marketing. So if you want to help him out, the best way to do that is for you to get the deal of the century, $75 worth of stuff for $20, including the book. And you can pre-order starting right now, ready, set, go, at RamseySolutions.com. Jump in our store at RamseySolutions.com and get it pre-ordered. And really incredible endorsements that you got from both the mental health community,

also some friends that we have like Joshua Fields Milburn over at the Minimalist. Minimalist, yeah. And Will Godera, the world-class restaurateur. Yeah, Dr. Caroline Leaf and Dr. Lane Norton also. Sal DiStefano, some of the greats, man. Some great, great folks. Michael Easter from Comfort Crisis. Good endorsements.

So good book. It's a great book. And really excited about this material and getting it into your all's hands. Building a non-anxious life at RamseySolutions.com. Jump in the store and get it right now. Number one bestselling author of the book, Own Your Past, Change Your Future, and the new book out today on pre-sale, Dr. John Deloney, the new book, Building a Non-Anxious Life. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Dr. John, my co-host today. Terry is with us in Chicago.

Hi, Terry. Welcome to The Ramsey Show. Hi, Uncle Dave. Hi, John. Hey, what's up? Yeah, so basically I'm a business owner with irregular income. I am married, but I cannot unfortunately get my husband to combine his finances. I'm aware that we do need to work together and counseling is definitely crucial,

but at this point I'm 52 and I need to go ahead and do this on my own. I've done it before. I did something foolish. I started using my credit cards again. Basically, I relocated my business. And when I relocated my business, I think I kind of just kind of went overspending for the business. And now the location that I am that I'm at now, we are, I think, you know, we're in the June, July. So usually the summer months are really slow, but I didn't think that the relocation, it would be this slow. Terry, what's your question? So the question is, because I need to go ahead and start doing this on my own, I definitely have a lot of debt. And I have done baby step number one and number three multiple times, but I'm just trying to figure out what is the best way to go about paying off my debt.

So that's pretty much what it is. Yeah. How long have you been married? Well, hey, we just 10 years. And why is it he doesn't want to combine finances you know what he's he's kind of i don't know he's and i can't really go off into all of the details if i did everybody would know who i am however um at this point you know it's just kind of like he just does not want to uh combine finances he's content with just you know giving his portion of what we're going to pay for the home.

So I do carry part of what the responsibility is in the home in terms of the utilities. I'm sorry, I can't go along with this. I don't agree. I'm not going to participate in this insanity. I agree. I agree. This is unhealthy, and you know it's unhealthy and you refuse to deal with it why oh i'm definitely trying to deal with it no you're not trying

to deal with it you're trying to work around it um short of you know we need to we need to get to the bottom i know i i don't i can't really tell you everything but at at the end of the day, I'm feeling stuck. And I don't want to feel stuck. I feel like I want to do this with him, but I know I'm going to have to just do it on my own, on my portion. So here's the thing. Let's take that track. You know what to do. You put your debts in order of smallest to largest, and you pay them off.

Absolutely. But you've got to – so the math problem is simple. You're too smart. You put your debts in order of smallest to largest, and you pay them off. Absolutely. But you've got to – so the math problem is simple. You're too smart. You know that. Mm-hmm. I think you're asking Dave and I a different question. No. What it is, the amount of money that I have saved is not equal to what I need to pay things off.

But here's the thing. You've got two big messes. I think you're talking around the bush about your business. I don't think your business is as successful as you thought it was going to be. And I think you have to make some hard choices about your business. And your marriage is at that 10-year mark, and there's a 7- to 10-year window when people start to open their eyes and they exhale and they realize this is the way this is going to be. And we need to have some hard conversations about what comes next or we have to make peace

with this is the way this is. But Dave said it right. You are accepting in rhetoric. You are not accepting this in reality because reality says, I'm going to turn on all the lights. I'm going to stop the music and I'm going to tell my significant other, the marriage we've built thus far ends today. Will you build something new with me? And they call that vulnerability and it's got, vulnerability has got this great cachet about it and it's wonderful and great, except that vulnerability means somebody may hurt you

and he may look at you and say, I will not be a part of a marriage where I'm going to be all in with you. And you have to deal with that reality and you're not. That's a scary place to be, but that's the truth of the matter. And you, and I'm not saying you got to end your marriage. You may have to say, okay, fine. I'm on my own inside my own house.

That's what she is saying. And if you've gone into the earth. Well, she's acquiesced. I mean, she gave up and says, I want to go work this by myself. And the problem is your probability of building wealth when your spouse is not participating is very low. It's hard. You might clear out the debt but the number of times that we interviewed millionaires 10 167 of them that they said i did

this while dragging my spouse kicking and screaming all the way and became a millionaire anyway when they didn't participate they didn't help i basically had a roommate and a joint venture not a marriage and the number of times that that happens statistically in the data is almost never i mean it's a it's way less than five percent yeah and so what you're asking to do is um statistically improbable uh can it be done well good lord yeah most anything can be done but it's just it's unhealthy because now what we're saying is we're just going to put our hands over our ears and go la la la la la la and pretend like this is not going on and we're going to go on about our way and we're going to try to be try to be wealthy anyway we're going to try to get out

of debt and stay out of debt anyway but something else is going on here that y'all really need to get the bottom of for the sake of your marriage also for the sake of your future if you find so let's let's go to the end let's if end. If you find yourself and the person you're married to says, I'm out, I'm not doing this. I'm not recommending you, then you run to divorce court. That's not the way to go. But then you're going to follow the baby steps the way you follow the baby steps.

And you're going to have to create a life where I may have to go get second jobs. I may have to go get third jobs. I may have to figure this thing out. And you may have to go to counseling on your own if the person just refuses to go with you. But my hope is that someone would see your determination. They would see the path you're taking and see the light that's coming on in your eyes. And they'd say, hey, I want to be a part of that. I know that's not true. If you're

married to someone who struggles with addiction, if you're married to somebody who just doesn't care, someone who's struggling with certain kinds of mental i get all that but at some point you either have to say hey this is it we're going to have this final conversation and if they won't do it i mean they won't do it um yeah dave sometimes it's throwing your hands up and saying ah whatever it's not worth it and sometimes i mean you're just i mean the old ball and chain is the old ball and chain you're married to a guy that just says, I ain't getting off the couch. Um, and then you got some hard choices to make, I guess. Yeah, that's where you're facing. And so I'm just telling you that in doing this, in spite of your spouse folks, um, and everything staying separate, a, it's a lot harder and B,

your probability is just not there. Uh, and then what we're dealing with is the money problems are not a problem. They're a symptom of your relationship problems. That's what's not there. And then what we're dealing with is the money problems are not a problem. They're a symptom of your relationship problems. That's what's going on. And I think it's important to double click on that. If somebody won't work with you, your biggest issue in your life is not your debt. That's what I'm trying to say. Your biggest issue is you've got a marriage that's sick and that has fallen apart and that is slowly killing both of you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because, again, him refusing to put your money together is not a philosophical stand. It's a relational spear through the heart. He's throwing darts. Or somebody who's – and you know another thing, Dave, we hear this a lot. He's saying, I don't trust you. Well, I was going to say, it may be that this is the third or fourth time you've moved your business and gone back on credit cards. And he's saying, hey, I'm not hitching my wagon.

You're out of control. You're not trustworthy. And so maybe it's about you coming to the table and saying, hey, I've been struggling. I haven't been right with this stuff. I'm willing to change. Will you join me? Right. And that's almost always the best way to approach it.

He may be watching you be a train wreck over there and going, I don't want to ride on that train. I don't want to be on that train. That's right. That may be the way you solve it. But anyway, the thing is you need to get up under this thing and solve that part of it for the quality of life that you have going forward and for your relationship to prosper and then for your money to prosper.

They very seldom are not connected. These are not compartmentalized, departmentalized things. You can set this over here and pretend like this other isn't happening. They are woven together inextricably. You cannot get away from it. And so it's just, it's tough. So I hope you can get to the bottom of it, Terry. I hope you guys can find some peace and find some, you know, unity at your place.

This is The Ramsey Show. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, number one best-selling author, is my co-host today. He's also the host of the Dr. John Deloney podcast, which you need to tune into if you want to hear about relationships and mental health issues and all kinds of fun stuff. It's an exciting, fun show. There's always something wacky going on and always good information for you to use in your daily life as well. Dustin is in Dallas, Texas. Hi, Dustin. Welcome to the Ramsey Show.

Hi, Dave. How are you doing today? Better than I deserve. What's up? Good. So I have this question about, I have a 401, I changed jobs and I have a 401k sitting there and I'm very tempting to take that 401k given that the we're moving. So I'm selling my current home,

moving to Phoenix and it's very tempting to take that 401k and take the 30% hit and put that on the next home to drive my, so I can get a 15 year mortgage to kill that upfront interest. That's, that's all this, all this front loaded interest on these, on these loans, on these loans right now. And I know that's generally not a good idea,

but you know, with a seven and a half percent return annually, and you're talking about six, 6.5% interest, you know, you're going to pay that in interest over the course, you know, you're going to,

that $100,000 is going to make, $450,000 over the course of 20 years, and you're going to pay that roughly in interest over the course of the loan. So my question is, normally that's not a good idea to do, but is there an edge case where that might be okay, especially if it affords me a lot more money to invest over time, given my monthly output. I want to borrow a 30% interest to put more down on my house so that I can save interest over time.

No, that doesn't make sense. And are you in a 20% tax bracket? Almost. Almost. So I'm making making 150 a year you're not 20 30 tax break so this is not a 30 it's a 40 hit i see okay you have a 10 penalty plus your tax hit so it would be 40 it would be 40 yeah on that. 10% plus your tax rate. So all of a sudden it gets even more evil.

No, we're not doing that. No, I would stay away from that. And here's the other thing. The other piece of information you've got that's wrong somehow is that mortgages are front-loaded with interest. They're not. They're not. You pay more interest on the front end because an amortization has a level payment, and the portion of your payment that goes to interest goes down as the balance goes down. Correct.

And so there is more interest on the front end, but it's not front-loaded. It's calculated on the outstanding balance. So there's not a front-loaded. Yeah, okay. 30 years are an extra 15 years of interest payments, yes. And yes, we don't want to do 30 years, but it's not front-loaded with interest. The interest is calculated on the outstanding balance

on all mortgages except for some kind of subprime garbage. But, I mean, a traditional conventional mortgage is calculated like simple interest. So in that case case i guess it would be better to take that 401k and either roll it over into an ira or into my current 401k roll it to an ir and then and then yeah and then just uh make uh take whatever money we get from the house and buy a. And buy a house that you can put on a 15-year. Yeah, buy a house that we can put on a 15-year. Yeah, I guess that's probably the better way. That's going to be at the end of the story the biggest pile of wealth

of any of the options we've discussed. That will give you the biggest pile of wealth. I mean, that's my ultimate goal is just because the current house that I have now is on 30, it was on 30-year because I didn't have a lot of money saved whenever I bought the house. But I've since paid off all my school loans. I don't have any credit card debt. The only other debt I have is just my truck, which is I owe $17,000 on my truck. But that's it.

I don't have any other debt other than that. Okay. Well, let's get that cleaned up up that's standing between you and wealth too so right yeah we'll keep that we'll keep that around like it's a pet and call it smart it's not yeah and there's also a a third thing here dave and i always um a light bulb goes off for me when somebody paints an either or picture either i cash out this 401 to do X, or I just got to pay this thing out over 30 years. There's always a third option. And the third option here is, no, pay extra on that loan. And buy a house you can afford on a 15. Don't pet it for 15 years. Get rid of it in seven.

Get rid of it in six, right? Exactly. Don't just sit on it, right? And so then all those calculations you're doing on the back of a napkin that, A, were incorrect b feel like they make sense they don't make they don't make sense if you just get rid of the loan completely yeah the loan's gonna be gone anyway pay it off yeah pay it off so the typical millionaire pays off their home in the study that we did in 11.3 years okay the that's the average uh and the average millionaire in the study that was following the ramsey stuff does it in one year sooner 10.2 years and so a lot of people a lot do it in seven which is what you're describing john and but you do that based on the home you purchase and so you're not maxing out the we're going to get the biggest possible home that anyone will loan us enough money to do on any kind of so we're

going to get a 30-year adjustable rate maxed to the wall because we want to get the biggest that does not work you know so you're buying a more modest home you're stepping back to do this and do it right and that's the smart way to do it and so one of the most important good news is sam you're asking the questions and you're thinking yeah good for you man one of the most important things you wrote in baby step Millionaires, I think one of my biggest takeaways, that it was an aha moment for me, was a million dollars is not a billion. And we get this idea of a millionaire is like, I'm going to be able to, no, it takes 10 years. It's a long time.

Most people, it takes a long time. Relax, relax. It takes a long time, and it's frustrating, and it's slow. And if you can speed it up awesome but it's not about getting a billion dollars and being able to pay off everybody's houses and buy a bunch of no man it's about discipline over time elizabeth's in atlanta hi elizabeth how are you i'm great thank you so much for taking my call this is a huge honor to be able to speak to you guys. Our honor as well. How can we help?

Well, my daughter, sweet little girl, just graduated from college in May, and she's living in the big city 12 hours away. And Saturday I got a call saying, Mommy, they ran my debit card for my whole balance that was in my savings account. Because her checking is connected to her savings and she was freaking out and wondering what to do and so i'm sorry who did what do you mean they ran who's a merchant a merchant ran her card and took her debit card and took all of her money out of it yeah it she has like 38 3800 four thousand dollars in the account and they ran it for 30 so they stole her money pretty much i think it was it was a they told her it was a keying error and then they put it so they put it

back they did put it back okay all right so what back. Okay. All right. So what's the problem? Well, now because she's done that or that happened to her, she was without those funds until it posted to her account on Tuesday, yes, today. And so now she's wanting to get a credit card, and I'm trying to tell her that that's not what she needs to do. She has no debt. She has no. Here's what she needs to do.

Disconnect your freaking savings account from your checking account. Ta-da. Now we're safe. Every time I get a flat tire, I don't get rid of cars and go back to riding a horse. Okay. Just because I had a thing, it stinks. But doing something that I know is going to get me in trouble statistically. This did not expose that the debit card is a problem. It exposed that she has her savings account attached to her debit card.

That's what it exposed. Yeah. I've never had that happen because I don't have that. And I've had debit cards since they came out 25 years ago well that was going to be my question she you know she uses her it runs as a as a overdraft protection so no you know don't have overdraft protection hey you know what overdraft protection is balance your freaking checking account hey elizabeth here's the bigger question how do you convince your daughter

who just graduated college and who's making her way in the world to do a thing? Nat, you can't. You can't. So you used to be able to tell her what to do. Now you have to sit down over coffee and say, hey, I don't think this is a great decision. Here's some decisions we've made where it's backfired on me and our family. And then you got to hold her hand while she goes and has to learn some things the hard way. Yeah. Yeah. And this did not expose the weakness of the debit card system. It exposed the weakness of your daughter's system. That's the thing she needs to get. If she gets that, she'll be convinced.

This is The Ramsey Show. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Thanks for joining us. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Hey, if you are a new listener out there and you want to know kind of where you fit into all this stuff, there's a free thing you can do at RamseySolutions.com. It's the GSA, the Get Started Assessment. Click the Get Started button, and we'll help you figure out where you are and what your next steps are. Be sure and

click it there at RamseySolutions.com. Sam is with us in St. Louis. Hey, Sam, welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hey, how are you guys? Better than we deserve, sir. How can we help? So I am 26 years old. I've been listening to you guys kind of on and off for a few months. I'm actually in the industry. I work in wealth management. I have no debt. I'm just kind of curious what your advice to a 26-year-old who really doesn't have a need for a house, but has a little bit of money, kind of need a car here soon, but I'm just kind of feeling a little stuck with all the options. Good for you. So I wanted to get y'all's thoughts. Good for you.

Well done. What do you make? $56,000. That's before any bonus or anything. Total, it's probably around $63,000, $64,000. Okay. Very good. Good start man well done well you're right we would first have an emergency fund of three to six months of expenses in liquid

cash meaning some kind of high yield savings account money market type thing right just sitting there just for emergencies uh and then i'd have a car fund we're saving to pay cash for this next car uh and once that's maxed out then i think you're probably building wealth for and i'll be doing that while i'm saving 15 of my income into retirement so i'll be in your 401k or roth iras and good growth stock mutual funds 15 of your income going into that and then beyond that since you don't have a house and don't have a need or a want for a house today, I would start building a house fund because long-term you do want to be an owner in the real estate business because 100% of the time rents go up over time. And so your largest line item in your budget is housing and it's going to go up every year

until you become an owner so it's not it's not the end of the world if you want to go for the next four or five years and be a renter that's fine but don't go 40 years because ask people ask people what real estate cost 40 years ago you know it's a different thing right right right and that's kind of kind of where i guess i'm a little feeling a little stuck is I'm taking 6%, getting that match out of my 401k, and I'm only living off of 65% of the rest. So I'm immediately saving 35%. Good for you.

You're a natural saver. So let's make sure you're getting a full 15% into retirement of your income, and then let's make sure the emergency fund's in place and the car fund's going beyond that i'm going to just start take take something like an s&p 500 fund and start throwing money in it and then about four years from now five years from now maybe you've met someone maybe you're married you're in a position you got a couple hundred grand laying there and you can buy a house or put down a huge downstroke on a house one of the two and that gets you ready you just don't want to be out of the real estate market permanently as a home owner it doesn't

bode well for it destabilizes your retirement years to not be the owner of the property you're in it adds um it's anxiety john yeah there's something about owning your house free and clear that that wipes a lot of that anxiety off the table yeah got his new book goes on has gone on sale today building a non-anxious life and you know an element of you know we call it financial peace you know when you don't have any debt and you you know so someday Sam you own a paid for property as a part of your wealth mix it adds peace to your life that That's exactly right, yeah. Devin is in Columbia, South Carolina.

Hi, Devin. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi, thank you. Sure, what's up? So I am trying to figure out how to get out from underneath a land loan that we had purchased a few years ago, I guess about a year and a half ago. Did you say a land loan? Yes, we bought 27 acres of land, hoping to build a home.

Life changed. That didn't happen. Prices were ridiculous for what we were trying to do, and we weren't trying to build anything crazy, just that we were a growing family and wanted land um but it didn't work out and we decided to just go with a different home and now we're just trying to sell the land and i'm having a hard time getting it sold um how long has it been on the market it's been listed since about march of this year, I think it was. What are you asking for it? $147,500 is what the latest listing price is.

And what do you owe on it? About $90,000. And what'd you pay for it? $110,000. We'd put down about $20,000 cash. Okay. You paid $110,000 and you're asking $'re asking 147 and you've owned it how long? Since December of 2021. So what makes you think it went up $37,000 during that time? Well, I guess the housing market had gone up. So you guessed.

Yeah. And now you've got your land overpriced and you're bitching because it didn't sell yeah i figured you might say that yeah i mean we have looked at per acre size in the area and in right now most per acre in the area asking asking or sold well and that somebody just asked me that yesterday and i don't i i'd have to go back and ask anything you never you never use asking price for appraisal there's idiots asking all kinds of things out there but if there's actual sales in the area of similar size tracks at eleven thousand dollars an acre then you have an appraisal item that you can use the data to appraise but i i shopped around and somebody said somebody sold it no no no no i want to know what it really sold for. Do you have a real estate agent? We do, and he's great.

No, he's not. He hasn't informed you of your price and how to price it. He priced it the way you told him to price it. That's not his job his job is to tell you what your actual value is and not take a listing that's overpriced because what he's going to end up with is a dissatisfied customer because he hasn't been able to sell her property because he allowed her to price it too high maybe i don't know i think you did though you're probably right no i think you did yeah i think we figured out why it hadn't sold. Drop your price. I mean, find out what it's really worth.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm wrong. Let's find out what it's really worth, though. Actual data, and call your real estate agent and say, I need to know what this is really worth, and I'm not paying for an appraisal. You dig up some comps, and let's figure out what this stinking thing's worth. And your real estate agent ought to be able to do that in about an hour, if they know how to basically run the mls computer and then uh

then you can figure out if you've got overpriced and price it right okay you can't you know that this market has slowed down and people overpaying for stuff because they're in a feeding frenzy is over that's done nobody there's very few markets that are doing that. There's some kind of 83 offers over the weekend crap. That stuff's gone, okay? Apparently, we've kind of gone back to more of a normal real estate world where stuff stays on the market three to four months if priced properly, and you don't get to price it like you wish you could. And if there's any, this is purely anecdotal,

but there's a lot more signs in the rural area where I live for 15 acres or 20 acres or 30 acres, and they're just all still sitting out there. And there was a season a year ago when you couldn't breathe. You couldn't run fast enough over there to get it. There was no signs. They never even went to market. And so it may just take a while. I think we had a 37% increase in Columbia, South Carolina in raw land prices in one year. Yeah.

And that's what she's proposing. Even if we did, if you have a loan that you need to get rid of. You price it right. You price it right and get rid of it. Yeah. Because every month you're sitting there paying it, you just become a motivated seller. Right. So, yeah.

Look, if I'm in your shoes devon i'm gonna get to the bottom of this if your real estate agent can't then get a new real estate agent and let's let's find out what it's actually worth and let's price it a little bit below that let me ask you this guy who sold and bought a lot of properties um let's say i bought a bought a bought a piece of land for 100 grand like she did 110 grand it's priced at 137 but i need this loan gone would you ever drop it to what i paid for it to or you know 116 to get my money just get rid of the price it at what i know i mean there's no it's not being repoed she's not in a panic okay just motivated yeah i just want to get rid of it so let's price it properly and it'll sell within

you know 90 days if it doesn't drop it a little more it'll sell you get rid of it this doesn't, drop it a little more. It'll sell. You get rid of it. This is the Ramsey Show. Thank you for joining us, America. Hey, it's Dr. John Deloney. If you like what you heard in this episode and want to know more about getting started on the Ramsey Baby Steps, go to ramsaysolutions.com and click on the Get Started button. We'll help you figure out the best next step for you

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