The Ramsey Show - App - My Husband Spends $1000 a Month on Tobacco (Hour 3)

Episode Date: November 28, 2023

Девочка-пай Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's The Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create amazing relationships. I'm Ramsey personality, George Campbell, joined by the one and only Ken Coleman. And we're taking your calls at 888-825-5225. You call us up. We will give you our best wisdom on your situation regarding work and money. Megan kicks us off in Kansas City. Megan, welcome to the show. Megan, are you with us? Hey. Yes. there she is. What's going on? So my husband spends on average about a thousand dollars a month at gas stations

for, you know, snacks, drinks. A majority of that, though, is for chewing tobacco. And my question is, how can I help him work towards becoming more financially responsible so that we're not worrying how we're going to make it till the end of the month with bills and other priorities? How long has this been going on for? It's been going on for a few years. It has gotten worse though within the last year or so. Is he using more chewing tobacco? What do you think the problem is there? Definitely more chewing tobacco. He goes through maybe two to three cans a day, and that can be pretty pricey. And it hurts us financially, as you could probably imagine.

I assume you've had conversations with him about this. How do those go? Yes, they don't go very well. It usually starts an argument. He has tried to quit multiple times through the last several years. We've done medical. We've spoken to doctors. He's been put on prescriptions. He's tried the patches, everything. He's tried quitting cold turkey and just nothing has worked. And especially since we

now have a family, I really thought that that would help out in getting him to quit, but it hasn't. So why did the patches not work? If it's given him the same, unless he just, the patches can't possibly give what three cans a day is giving him. Yeah. I think it's just, it all boils down to, you know, deep down he really doesn't want to quit. No, he loves it. He likes it. Yeah. And I just can't really find anything that gives him that push to make that change.

Is it relaxing to him? What is the benefit? Is it a buzz that chills him out? What's going on? Well, he does have ADD. So I think it just chills him out, but also it's become such a habit. And I think it's just that, yeah, that buzz maybe. Yeah.

Well, and I wonder if there's not something else below the surface. Because what doctors are trying to treat, they can't treat. Yeah. Well, and I wonder if there's not something else below the surface. Because what doctors are trying to treat, they can't treat. It feels like this is something in his soul, in his heart. That's what I think. Is that true? No, I agree with you. What does he do for work? He is an HVAC technician.

Yeah. Does he like his job? Oh, yes, very much so. Yeah. This is deeper than this. This is deeper. So here's the deal. We've got to get that part figured out or any financial advice or any conversational or communication advice we give you is largely going to fall on deaf ears because he's defensive now. However, I do think there's a money piece to it, but I think it has to be whatever's going on that is requiring you to medicate yourself this way is going to break us.

That's the depth of this. And so we've got to get to that, and then the financial piece will take care of itself because he doesn't have to medicate. Yes. So in the meantime, since we can't solve that, George, I want to know what George thinks. Golly. I think this is a – so I'm going to come back to this in a second. I want to come back to the conversation of what she might say. But I want to bring in the financial.

In this case, giving her advice, this is such a sensitive issue that's got a lot of depth to it could she get him on board with all right you got to go get a side hustle to the tune of a thousand dollars a month to cover this medication i am i i think that's a fair ask what do you think george yeah i mean with addiction it's not as simple as saying, hey, we're going to cut them off. Yeah. And so I still think I'm not a medical professional. I think cold turkey is the way to go. And I think it starts with this conversation of you going, listen, this is going to deteriorate your health. I want you around to see our kids grow up. I want us to actually hit our financial goals. It's derailing us financially for you to be spending this way. And by the way, gas stations are one of the worst places to buy all of this stuff.

It's the highest cost. And so if he's going to do this, he's got to be smarter about it than just impulsively stopping by the gas station every four hours. And so he's got to find a way to curb the spending, even if it's, hey, we're cutting back. No more food, snacks, drinks, all this stuff. Yeah, I think that's the key. You have to say, babe, I'm worried about this. And you're going to have to get more involved in the finances. Do you guys have combined bank accounts? No, and because of that reason, yeah.

And I know that's something I've struggled with. I've taken control somewhat of his bank account just so that I can monitor his spending. And every month it's the same thing when we sit down and have that talk. Like, hey, you're spending way too much. And it's just, yeah. Is this on a credit card, a debit card? Debit. Okay. And so he's got the money, but it's his income and he's just spending down his account every month doing this. Yes, and we've even tried with having him send me, like, a certain percentage of his paychecks that I would then put into savings

or would go towards bills for that month. I think you need to tell him, listen, I didn't sign up to be married to a child that I have to monitor and babysit. You need to care about this family more than you care about your chewing tobacco habit. And I need you to show me that. And if you guys need to go to counseling to deal with the marital issues beneath this, I think if you don't, it's going to cause more resentment. And this marriage isn't going to survive this.

George is right. Because this is going to just compound every month for the next what another three years of this well you're not going to solve it you can't solve it he has to understand how afraid you are how exhausted you are how it's affecting you how it's affecting your marriage and what that's going to have an impact on the rest of his life and then he's going to have to get to the bottom of what's going on with him which is causing the medication of the tobacco and then you guys have to have to get to the bottom of what's going on with him, which is causing the medication of the tobacco, and then you guys have to fix what's already been in some ways bruised and broken with you two.

All of that has to happen or this spending isn't going to stop. Yeah, even if we go, hey, tell them to get in bulk at Walmart. Well, that might be a Band-Aid that might save us $200 a month, but it doesn't solve the real problem here. No, I agree. I'm sorry you're going through this, Megan. Again, I wish we had a magic answer for you. I think it's a come-to-Jesus meeting.

I really do. Yes, I agree. And I know addiction is one of the most difficult things a person can deal with, and I encourage him to call Dr. John Deloney's show to walk through that piece of it. And if he's willing to call, he's really serious about this. We can get him on the line with our friend, Dr. John, to help him work through that. But that's the only answer to this money problem is him overcoming this addiction. This is The Ramsey Show. welcome back to the ramsey show i'm george camel joined by my good friend ken cole the number to call is 888-825-5225 let's keep the calls rolling we're headed to manchester new hampshire up next

with our friend jean jean what's going on oh not much well something's going on? Oh, not much. Well, something's going on, Jean. Tell us about it. I'll tell you what's going on, Jean. Before we get to your question, how many presidential candidates have you seen in the last six months in Manchester? You know, I'm just going to stay away from all of that and be happy at home. Smart. Smart woman. But you've seen some, yes? Yeah. Yeah. You get that. It's first in the... You've got Iowa and New Hampshire and they're just... That's the big one.

All the candidates are just everywhere in those states. But Jean, she doesn't want any of it. She wants no part of it. Let's talk money instead of politics. Oh, yeah. What's going on? I've been watching the Ramsey show. We paid off all of our credit cards, chopped them all up, paid off our cars, bought my son a car in cash. Wow. You guys

are doing good for us. Well, you're doing the good work. Look at you. We sat back and relaxed here at the desk. We're proud of you. Awesome. So I, in 2017, we refinanced our house in order to purchase a commercial property for our business. And our home at this time, we're making four times the monthly payment. So we're paying that off. Hopefully in the next couple of years, it it has 61,000 left on it but we're kind of looking at like at the end of the year we can invest in our IRA but I mean I'm 47 so it's kind of like do I invest in the IRA or just put all that money down on that home loan because the home loan is at the beginning.

I mean, it's only six years old, so. Okay. I don't know if I should. What is the track to pay this house off? Hopefully within two years, because we're making four times our monthly house payment every month. Awesome. But you're not investing? We did last year. We put in the maximum for our IRAs, both of us, for last year,

and we were able to do it for the prior year. Is that the only thing you're doing is the IRAs? Yes. You should look into... So you guys are... Are you self-employed? Is it just you two or is there more people? Yes, we both are self-employed. We both own the business. Okay, and it's just you two? Yep.

Okay, I would look into better retirement options through your business, like a solo 401k and a SEP IRA. And with that solo 401k, it's going to allow you to invest way more than those IRA limits. So I just want to throw two options out there to look into. You can contact one of our SmartVestor pros on our website through our SmartVestor program, and they can navigate which option is the right one for you based on your specific business. But I think that's going to really help you guys retire with dignity versus just the IRA. I looked into solo 401k, and we have like one employee, so it's not actually, like, I don't think we can do that.

Okay. I will look back into that, definitely. So the SEP may be an option still. I hadn't heard that, so. Yeah, check that out. So that's that side. Now, what are the other debts you have outside of the mortgage? We have nothing. We have my house, which we owe $61,000. And then the commercial property has two loans on the commercial property. They made a split like half SBA loan. So the SBA

has $74,000, but we can't pay that off until 2027. And then we have a regular, oh yeah, this is a stupid move. I wasn't listening to you guys then. Our $96,000 loan for the commercial property actually is an adjustable rate. And my dad has been freaking out about that. Okay. Why is your dad freaking out? What does he have to do with it? Because he also listens to you guys. So he's like, you should not have an adjustable rate loan. And I'm like, yeah, well, that was 2017.

Well, I would still be investing 15% and I would be tackling, I'm going to couch this all in kind of this weird baby step six real estate pay down. Okay. So I would be, you know, that might slow you down on the house payoff, but it's also going to help you have a bigger nest egg, you know, 15, 20 years from now. Keep doing the retirement at the same time. What's your household income that you're taking home every year from this business? $72,000. Okay. And that's between the both of you? Combined. That's what you're... home every year from this business? $72,000. Okay.

And that's between the both of you? Combined. That's what you're... Yeah, combined. That's gross. Yes. I would try to find a way to make more through this business. We are.

Okay. Because that's equivalent to each of you making $36,000, which you could go do that in a retail job. And so I want this business making more money or else we need to go find something else to do to where we can both be making 75K. Right. So that's just a goal for you guys to set

as you look forward to the next year. If we can't ramp this business up and scale it, we may have to look at other options. Perfect. So thanks so much, Jean. You guys are on track. We just got to get rid of all this debt, and we've all made money mistakes. Sometimes they have a lot of zeros on the end, and sometimes they have an adjustable rate.

That sucks. All right, Jake is in Salt Lake City up next. Jake, what's your question? Hey, thanks for taking my call, you guys. Sure. So I am 23. My wife is 24. And we have a family investment opportunity in an uncle's company.

And I have me and two brothers and my parents who are going in on this investment. My question is essentially, what's the safest way to pull together money as a family that is also legal? So we could pay taxes on it the right way and nothing will come back to bite us. What do you mean by that? You're pooling the money together. So walk me through an example of what this investment would look like. Yeah. My uncle has done this before. He owns six or seven multimillion dollar companies. And essentially he's reached out and given every family 1% that they can buy into this. It's valued at 2.5 million right now. So each family can buy in 25,000. I want to put in 10,000. My parents are going to do 10 as well,

I believe. And then I have a brother who's doing three and two respectively. Then in five to 10 years when the company is worth more and we decide to pull out our share, we'll just redistribute proportionally, if that makes sense. And how guaranteed is this return? I mean, I'm comfortable losing 10,000. I wanted to do 25, like my own percent, but that's just with what I'm, that's what I'm comfortable losing. It's pretty sure though, my uncle's putting all of his kids' trust funds into it. He's done this thing before, and I think in past days he had like a 50 times return.

So it was really good. This one's estimated to be like 100 to 300 times ROI. It could be really good, and with money that big. You're telling me he's going to scale this $2.5 million company 300x? He works in medical plastics, and he has some out-of-country businesses as well that are vertically integrated. This is like the last key piece that needs to be vertically integrated before stuff can like... He's already blown up his companies in the past, but this is going to make it just that much easier. My only hesitation is

when something sounds too good to be true, it is. And so that's my only, now you could be saying all the right things and you could 300 extra money and I hope that for you, but I just walk into this with some hesitation when it's family and it's an investment opportunity. Those words rarely end up going well for the person who's doing the investing. This is why I'm trying to be so careful. I'm fairly conservative. I'm skeptical. That's all. You called us. What's your gut, Jake? My problem as far as where I'm learning about this stuff, I really want to do this. I want to give it a shot. I'm not worried about the investment.

Where my question actually is, is there a safe way to pull together money so that, say, there is a return. Maybe it's not 100 times whatever. If there's any return, it's not all in somebody's hands and we're just, you know, writing on good intention. Well, you want to get everything, you know, contracts in writing. I'd be working with a lawyer to draft all of this. Yeah. That's the issue, like an investment LLC. Yeah. If you're truly not worried about it, and I believe you, so if you're not worried about the actual money itself, I'm going to put it into this and ride it, ride the wave, right? Then it's really the issue of you've got some concerns. You've

got some fears that need to be addressed. And the way you do that is talk about it and get it all handled in writing. I think that's the solution. Work with professionals all the way around. No handshake agreements here. But I wish you the best, man. And obviously, you're doing with cash. Make sure you're debt-free with an emergency fund before you start meddling with this, and that's fun money. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. I'm George Camel, joined by Ken Coleman. If you're a fan of The Ramsey Show, be sure to check out all of the shows on The Ramsey Network, including The Ken Coleman Show,

Smart Money Happy Hour that I co-host with our friend Rachel Cruz, the George Camel channel on YouTube and Spotify. You can watch it over there as well. Dr. John Deloney Show, Rachel Cruz Show. We got something for everyone, Ken. Entree Leadership. That's right. By the way, there's a rumor that I may be joining you and Rachel on Smart Money Happy Hour. Are you starting the rumor right now?

Well, you told me that you would like to have me over there and how fun it would be. And so maybe I'm starting a rumor. It's a very different sentence. I would like to have you. I have no jurisdiction, Ken. I know you do not. I got no pull. I get it. So maybe I've accidentally started it.

So I want to go ahead and retract that because you're my friend and I don't want to force that. Well, I'll be honest. We had a special guest on that episode will be released soon. And it's Sharon Ramsey. See? So she trumped you somehowed you well of course she should i don't know that there are many people that uh are more of a favorite than sharon ramsay for me she is a greatly that'll be very fun it was a fun episode yeah highly that'll be coming to there was a lot of things that didn't make the cut we'll just put it that way ken right but i guess I could just invite you and Rachel out for drinks.

If you can get the queen on the podcast or a court jester, who are you going to choose? The queen. The queen. Well put. The court jester will make the cut. I resemble that remark. I can see it. Yeah.

I like that. That's just all I'm looking for is excuse to have a beverage with you and Rachel. Now, we'd love to have you as soon as Rachel allows it. That's the one you got to get through. No. Well. We'll get there. Good luck with that. But if you like any of the shows, including

the Ramsey Show, please consider subscribing, leaving a review wherever you're listening, sharing it with a friend, all of that. That's our marketing plan right there. There it is. Cats out of the bag. And we so appreciate all of you who listen every week, who send us messages, who post about it, who leave the reviews, who subscribe. It means

the world to us and it helps the algorithm show it to more people so we can have more impact out there. Thank you. All right, Ken, let's get back to the phones. Julia is waiting with bated breath in Austin, Texas. Julia, welcome to the show. Hi, thank you guys so much for answering. Absolutely. How can Ken and I help? Yeah, so I'm 25. My husband is 30. I have a past of managing finances terribly or really just like not managing finances at all. My husband is a financial advisor. Thank God for that one. God really pulled through for me on that. And he has really just taken over everything when it comes to managing our finances and money. And I don't even look at our account and I don't want to. I just feel like it's best for me to stay out of it, given my past.

Do I need to be more involved? 100%, yes, you'd need to be more involved. Because what's going to happen inevitably is you are going to be resentful at some point when you go, what? I didn't know. And he goes, well, I mean, I managed the money. You said you didn't want anything to do with it. And so you need to have a vote. Even if you're not the financially astute one where you go, I don't want to look at the spreadsheet. That's fine. But you have to have a vote. You have to know what we're doing with our money every single month because you're spending too, right? Yes. So that tells me we're not on a budget. So we're not really managing our money. He's just handling the in and outs

of the account. Yeah. And I do think that there is a sense of anxiety that it causes him that I could contribute to alleviating if I did have these conversations with him because he is, it's something he's passionate about too. Um, so I don't know if you have any advice on how to get past my anxiety of like, I don't like my childhood was mom and dad hiding things that they bought from each other when they're walking in the door. Like our mom would be like, don't tell dad about the things in the backseat. I'll come get them in at three o'clock in the morning. So I just have this weird relationship with finances and I went through FPU and did that, but it just feels better to me that I don't even have to think about it, which might just be, you know, I don't know, not obviously not what's best, but I don't know how to get over that fear. I can tell you how. You actually need to go get some counseling on that very issue.

You have trauma over this. That's what this is. This sounds very normal to me for someone who has gone through what you went through. You would just rather not. You want to avoid it completely because you feel like if I avoid it, then I can't be hurt by it. And I can't see my past come to fruition in my own life that's what this is you nailed it you diagnosed it beautifully and I think honestly you just need to go get with a great

therapist and talk through this stuff this is a this is a wound that probably has not healed yet one and you see money as this point of contention instead of as a tool that can help you guys live your best financial life. And that takes a huge shift. And one way to do that, Julia, you tell me, what is the opposite of hiding it all and not talking about it? Being open and having good communication and having a good marriage. Do you guys have that? There it is. Yeah. Forget about money. and having a good marriage. Do you guys have that? There it is.

Yeah. Forget about money. Do you guys have an open communication that like the relationship is very open-minded when we talk to each other and we're able to talk about parenting or maybe religion or whatever? Do you have that in other areas? Absolutely, yeah.

Then you can have it with money. In fact, you, and this is not an attack. This is just kind of an embrace of what you've already said. You are the reason you can't have the conversation about money. If you can have it about other things, then this is just a fear, and it's a block, and it's got trauma attached to it. So you've got to heal from the trauma. Once you heal from the trauma, you'll be able to do what George is talking about because you're doing it in other areas. Would you recommend, I know you guys recommended therapy, would you recommend us doing it together so there's like an understanding or just myself? I think it'd be very helpful for

him to understand where you are coming from because it's going to give him tools that he can use to help you with this. Yeah. Either one is great, but for him to sit in on the session and watch you do the hard work on this, the empathy he's going to have. Okay. And he's probably going to start over-communicating to make sure that you're in the loop and that you have a vote and that you have a say.

And part of that is doing a monthly budget and doing maybe a weekly budget meeting with him. And I'm going to gift you one year of every dollar premium to help with that. And here's your next goal you one year of every dollar premium to help with that. And here's your next goal is to go, we're going to make a budget and he might help you create that, but you're going to have a vote and you're going to have total visibility into what is our family doing with money? How much are we spending on groceries?

How much do we plan to spend? How much do we actually spend? What are we putting into investments? Where is that being invested? Can you explain that to me? Start being really curious and asking good questions and set some goals for yourself. Have a self-care line item for Julia where she gets to get her nails done every month and everything's out there on the table. And that's going to help you see, the boogeyman is really not that scary. I just needed to put the flashlight under the bed and

take a look. So the other thing you can do is sign up. We've got a free webinar tomorrow with our friend Jade Warshaw, Wednesday, November 29th, 1230 Eastern Time, 1130 Central Time. It's about an hour long, and she's going to walk you through how to set up your very first every dollar budget, how to break this paycheck to paycheck cycle so many people find themselves in. And I think it's going to give you some confidence in what it looks like to pay attention to money and not be afraid of it. Awesome. That's great. Thank you. One last question. What do you guys recommend? What kind of therapist would I seek out? Would I just type in like, is there such thing as a financial therapist or would it just be like family counseling to get past this? There's financial coaching, but I think what Ken is saying is you need a traditional counselor,

traditional therapist. Our friends at BetterHelp are a great start. You can do this remotely online. Start with that. You can sit with him at home in the living room and do this. So that's a great start. And then if you want to pursue someone locally, you can also do that. Okay.

Awesome. Thank you guys so much. You bet. Absolutely, Julia. We're rooting for you. Yeah, you're going to do great. She's guys so much. Absolutely julia. We're rooting for you. Yeah, you're gonna do great She's gonna win a hundred percent I mean the fact that she's self-aware and wanting to grow in this area and going I feel like

I should and here's the root issue and i'm willing to deal with it. That's everything Well, I mean she told us pretty much the source of the trauma. Yeah And I think a great therapist is going to be able to go, you know Let's dig into that and figure that out and And I love the fact that they've already got a great marriage where they're talking about everything else. And once she gets over that pain, you know. I think he's going to be excited that she wants to talk about money. Sounds like he's very passionate about it. Oh, yeah. He does it for a living. He's going, you want to talk about budgeting? Absolutely. Let's go. Right. So I didn't give you the website. The website to go to to sign up for that free webinar

with our friend Jade Warshaw is everydollar.com slash budgeting. It's completely free. It's Wednesday, November 29th, 1230 p paycheck to paycheck or whether you're baby step seven, it's all there, including some of the awesome premium features our team has been working on. So go check that out. Everydollar.com slash budgeting. It's one of the best ways to curb anxiety with money because just paying attention to it gives you a sense of confidence and control that nothing else can do. This is The Ramsey Show. This is The Ramsey Show, our scripture of the day, James 1.12. Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him. Claude Pepper said, life is like riding a bicycle. You don't fall off unless you stop pedaling.

Claude. There we go. Do we know who Claude Pepper is? I have no idea. Probably someone very famous and we're going to get roasted in the comments for not knowing.

Every once in a while. Well, see, I don't want to eat up any time, but I'm going to look up Claude really fast. I wish President Biden had read that because that must have been

what happened when he fell off that bike. Must have stopped pedaling. Nice. It's a classic. So Claude Pepper was a American politician of the Democratic Party. There you go. That tracks. And I guess he was a congressman from 1963. So anyway, thank you, Claude. There we go. They pulled up the Wikipedia for us, Ken. What if my name was Claude Coleman? I'd buy it. You look like a Claude and I don't mean that in a kind way. I didn't take it that way. But you, let's see folks I just want to say this is why I love George Campbell. I give him an opportunity

like that and he doesn't miss it. This is T-Ball. That's T-Ball and I liked it. That was a shot to the ribs and I liked it. We're friends. We are friends. That's funny. But I think Claude Coleman's funny. It's a lot funnier sounding than Ken Coleman. I agree.

But I digress. Let's help Alexandra out. That's a much better name, Alexandra in San Jose. It's a much better name. Alexandra, how can we help today? Hi, I'm so glad to talk to you. You guys are my favorite duo on the Ramsey show. What? Alexandra,

you're our favorite caller. I love you guys so much. George, you're so funny. And Ken, you always give the best advice. Thank you. So my question today is, I recently got a second job and it is to help me basically save up for my move to Idaho. And I met my boss at least a week ago over the weekend and she doesn't seem I had brought a packed lunch with me to work.

And then yesterday she called me and because I've been asking so many questions because I'm new to the place. And I haven't really gotten the proper training that I've been asking questions. And she called me annoying for asking her questions regarding my job. And I just don't really know how to handle a person like that who is angry all the time. Yeah. And how long you've been in this job? It's been two weeks. And you're thinking about moving to Idaho for this? I'm thinking about, yeah, I've been planning to move to Idaho

since the spring earlier this year. Okay. Just because in California, it's getting out of control so what's the connection so so here's here's why i'm asking here's why i'm asking the idaho question so you want to move to idaho whether this job is is this a remote job anyway um no it is in person so you've already made the move to Idaho. I have not. So this is in the San Jose area. I'm so confused. Okay. Okay. So I'm planning to move to Idaho and I got this job so that I can save up money. Oh, I see. So this is your second job and you have the rude boss of the second job?

Yes. Oh, okay. This is temporary. All right. I'm trying to get to the bottom of, because here's why I'm asking all the questions. Okay? This isn't worth putting up with. She's not going to change. This is a woman who got upset with you because you brought a packed lunch. How dare you? Who gets irritated over somebody packing their lunch? Yeah, she seems like the type of person who gets very triggered by people who just live

a different lifestyle than she does. Yes. And this is America. You know, you have to see that. Absolutely right. I didn't know a person who was unhappy. Lunch was a lifestyle. It's not.

She's just unhappy, and she's looking for anything possible to be rude about because she's very unhappy. Can I ask what kind of job this is? This is a sales job. It's a company based in South Korea where it's a wellness company that sells thermal massage beds that look like furniture. And so we cater mostly to people who have back problems or for people who work all day, lift heavy things. That sounds delightful. I would love this product. I would love this product. But this is just a second job for you. So how much are you making in the second job? Is it hourly or is it commission? It's both. So I make 40K is my yearly income. And then on top of that that i make 300 per unit i sell okay three hundred dollars per unit i sell i think you have two options one you just put up with her nonsense you know and

just put up with it because it's a second job and it's a means to an end it's literally i'm trying to bank money so that i can check out of California and move to Idaho. So you either just decide, can I put up with her rudeness and move on and make good money and just deal with her, whatever she is. Or the other option is to go, if I can't deal with it, then I got to move on and I'll go find me another second job that I can make the same amount of money and not deal with all her crap. Those are your two options. She's not going to change. Yeah, and I realize that. So which is the bigger hassle?

The other thing is that she basically, so my main income, I work for my mother. She's an abstract artist, and she has her own business. And so I handle, like, all of her social media. And I also assist her at some of her workshops too that she does across the nation okay and that's $20 an hour um and it can be it's it's part-time and then the other one is it is also part-time um So I work five days a week for my mom and I usually work early in the morning. And then I basically work at my other job from 10 30 AM to 7 PM. So it's about an eight and a half hour shift. But that's irrelevant. It depends on how much they schedule. It's irrelevant. The

question is, which is the bigger nuisance for you? Dealing with the rude boss who's clearly hurting and her life sucks in some way, or moving on to a different part-time job, which is the bigger nuisance? Or you just say, I'm not going to work for mom, I'm not going to work for a rude person, and I'm going to go get a full-time job that pays me really well so I can stack up cash and move to Idaho. You have three options. Which is the least of a nuisance? Because these are all short-term plays. Yeah. So which one? Well, I definitely want to work in customer service as a full-time job.

And I've been applying to places like that. And for some reason, I'm not getting any response from them. Well, that's okay. You just got to stay with it. But I mean, here's what I want to do. I want to answer your question, why you called. And so you're not going to change this lady. You're not going to change her. So you have the option to deal with it and keep stacking the cash that comes with it and go, this is just a short-term play, or you move on to another short-term play. You have to decide.

But you don't have to leave. You could put up with her long enough to replace that job, can't you? Work around her. No, I'm asking. Can you? Yeah. I mean, I think I want to stay with the company just because it is still new and i do great then you know what income to keep then who cares what she says about your pack

lunch and who cares if she calls you annoying you know get the answers you need to do the job well yeah well i the thing is is that i never really have to see her in person she just calls me because she lives in los angeles great even better regional she's the regional manager and i'm the supervisor of the store great um so i report to her on the basis of you know the day that i well she can't see any more of your packed lunches so that problem is solved that's true there we go one problem solved i would just put your head down and do your job. I think so. And don't worry about her.

But sorry going through that. That's never fun. And hopefully it gives you more fuel to make this move to Idaho and follow your dream and get a great customer service job and all of that. Yeah, I hope so. And, Alexandra, I want you to hang on the line and listen to this. I'm going to put George in a role play situation. I think this is perfect. Okay, hit me. Because she thinks you're very funny, so I'll put hang on the line and listen to this. I'm going to put George in a role play situation. I think this is perfect.

Okay, hit me. Because she thinks you're very funny. So I'll put you on the spot. You're in her shoes. You're just asking basic questions because you haven't been trained properly. Yep. And the boss says, you're so annoying, George. What do you say?

You sound just like my mother. That's it. You try to diffuse it, you know, see if you get a laugh out of them. If not, you go, well, 0 for 1. Well, we'll have another at-bat sports reference. Boom, nailed it. Wow, folks. That puts this hour of The Ramsey Show in the books.

My thanks to the legendary Ken Coleman, all the guys in the booth keeping the show afloat today, and you, America. We do this show for you, and it's because of you. We appreciate it. We'll be back with you before you, America. We do this show for you and it's because of you. We appreciate it. We'll be back with you before you know it.