The Ramsey Show - App - My Husband Told Me To Stop Spending Money but He Doesn’t Make Any! (Hour 1)

Episode Date: January 27, 2023

Dr. John Delony & Rachel Cruze discuss: Caring for aging parents without enabling them. "Should I attack my student loans or just make the monthly payments?" "My husband is telling me to stop spending money, but he doesn't make any!" Paying off your mortgage. Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: https://bit.ly/3nInETX Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6 Learn more about your ad choices. https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy

🎵 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Pods Moving and Storage Studio, it's the Ramsey Show, where America hangs out to have a conversation about your life, your marriage, your money, your work, everything. Whatever's going on in your life, give us a shout at 888-825-5225. I'm John Deloney, joined here by bestselling author and good friend Rachel Cruz, and we're

taking your calls on just about everything that's going on in your life. We have a packed audience out here today. It's good to see everybody, and by packed, there's like 12 people, and most of them are the child's family, so that makes my heart feel good. Nice and warm. It's good to see everybody. All right, let's go to Sarah in Pensacola, Florida. What is, let's see here. What's up, Sarah? Hey, thanks so much for taking my call. I'm really excited to talk to you guys today. Thank you so much. What's up? My question revolves around a parent needing financial assistance, but there's also some

emotional and psychological stuff going on as well. So how do my husband and I generously care for my parents and help them financially as the Bible commands while also not supporting or playing into a lack of planning and action on their part to improve their situation? Okay, Sarah, tell me a little bit more about their situation. Are they really struggling or they're just making different decisions than what you would make? Both. So both, definitely.

I'm going to try to keep it real big picture here. So they are on a fixed income and don't have like any savings in place. But there's definitely some things that they've done over the years to put them in that position. OK. Whereas my husband and I, we are the opposite. We are big planners. We followed the Ramsey plan, paid our house off last year. We're debt free. So it's kind of battling approaches to finances um and so over the years we've tried to help in different ways but now my parent is in a situation where they are um more frequently asking for financial assistance for things okay so they're

coming to you guys and asking for money. Okay. Right. And it's increasing in quantity and amount. And so I really want to help them and I want to honor them. And I know that the Bible commands for us to do that, but I also don't want to be an open bank account. Yeah. Sarah, honor does not mean you give somebody whatever they want, whenever they want it. That's not what honoring means. In fact, sometimes the best way I can honor my kids is to say no. And they want to go get donuts again. Right. Right. And to say no, because now I'm in a position to love you and honor you enough that I won't participate in you hurting yourself further. And like my kids will do, they'll kick and scream and be upset. And like our aging parents can do

sometimes, they can get all upset and they are welcome to do that. I'm not going to hold that in my soul. But I'm going to sit down and say, if I'm going to give you money, here is it's my money so I have a choice my wife and I my husband I have a choice on how we're gonna spend our money and so here's the stipulations for our money and if you don't want the stipulations that is fantastic you're grown-ups but that's the only way this money leaves us and you said you tried to help them over the years. I think it's important. This is hard. Parents, you can only help your parents if they ask for it. When kids start trying to

like tell their parents what they should be doing with any number of things, it never works out right. You know what I mean? I don't want my kids, the other day my son was telling me

how to do something and I finally just stopped and said, I'm old. I know how to do this. Like I'm an old man. I know how to. And he was like, well, you know, and I was like, trust me, dude, I know. And so anyway, I think you need to be invited into the advice conversation. So have you sat down and said, we are scared for what comes next for y'all. What is the plan? Have y'all had that conversation? Multiple times. Okay. And what's the response? We don't need nothing. Most recently, I think we've gotten to the point where they're very open about their approach and we are open on our approach and we came to a verbal agreement

that we needed to find a middle ground here because staying on our opposite sides was not working i oh wait hold on go ahead well no i was going to say i don't tell me what do you mean we need to find a middle ground can you not just believe what you believe and they believe why what's the what's the middle ground is it because conversation was getting heated with conflict or was it what what was that they get very emotional kind of just start breaking down and then we can't continue the conversation so but that that's a choice that they are making that's a manipulation that's a way to get you to do things right a middle ground you don't you don't need to come to a middle ground when it comes to bending on your values and what you think is important and what you and your husband have

put forth as the way we're going to handle money. There's not a middle ground there. There is a, here is our, if you would like our money, here's our values. And if y'all want to kick and scream and yell and get upset, you are welcome to do that. You can't do it in our home because we don't talk like that with each other, but you're welcome to not answer our phone calls and be mad and think we're terrible kids. We love you too much. Yeah, it's very hard to set those boundaries. It is. It is. And that's where all of this right now, all of your focus is, how do I deal with them?

Rachel, I want to shift it to you, Sarah. How do you and your husband make peace with, these are our values. How do you and your husband make peace with when mom and dad get mad, throw a temper tantrum, tell us we're the worst kids ever? What do we do? How do we circle around each other and move forward? And what's hard, Sarah, though, is every person, right? Especially when you're dealing with your parent, you resort back, Sarah, to that six-year-old girl, right? Instantly.

You go back to who you were because it's that relationship. It's your parents and you. And you have to be grown up, Sarah, in that situation. You have to look at yourself and say, I have to take care of that little girl that's there that is scared of her parents and kind of is like, oof. But you also have to be able to say, okay, I'm a grown adult and my husband and I have created a family. We have done this. And there's a confidence there, Sarah. But you also have to be able to say, okay, I'm a grown adult and my husband and I have created a family. We have done this. And there's a confidence there, Sarah, that you guys have, you've literally done the steps.

You've done it. You've gotten the results you wanted. And that's enough to stand on to be able to say, hey, this is our values and this is what we believe. But that's what's so hard about the parent-child relationship,

I think, is because we can resort back to like, ooh, it's that. And Sarah, let me tell you this. It's unfair to put a kid in a position to be responsible for the emotional regulation of the adults in their, in their world. And so if you grew up in a house where you had to make sure dad didn't get too mad or you had to make sure mom doesn't cry.

Cause now we're all going to go down. I'm sorry that they put you in that position. That wasn't fair. You were a kid and that was too heavy of a burden for you to carry. It wasn't your job. It was the adult's job to not throw temper tantrums, to not get upset, to be able to emotionally regulate themselves. And it sounds like that is carried over into your adult life.

And I want to tell you now as an adult, that's not your job. Your job is to treat them with dignity and with respect and with kindness and not participate in them further hurting. And setting boundaries is not dishonoring your parents. So change the language of that, because that's just not true. That's right. And I'll repeat that. Honoring somebody does not mean you give them whatever they want, whenever they want. So parents are like, you need to honor your parents and give me, that's not how that works. That's not what the word honor means. Honor means I will love you even when it's hard and it's hard to say no. Your parents are lucky to have you, Sarah.

You and your husband need to get away, get some firm values and some firm boundaries and then start practicing setting them forward. We'll be right back on The Ramsey Show Give us a shout at 888-825-5225 I'm John Deloney joined here by Rachel Cruz Best selling author, one of the greatest people who's ever lived Let's go out to Taylor in at 888-825-5225. I'm John Deloney, joined here by Rachel Cruz, best-selling author, one of the greatest people who's ever lived.

Let's go out to Taylor in Fort Wayne, Indiana. What's up, Taylor? Hello, guys. How are you? Awesome. How are you? Oh, doing great. Just money stuff, you know. Just money stuff.

What's up? So I'm a baby step number two-er um all of that debt that i have is solely student loans and i'm currently in the grace period of the student loan i think it should be called the disgrace period whoa yeah honestly is that what we should call that's fair that's fair taylor how much do you owe um so i've been working on it i started with 94 i'm down to 84 000 so i'm working really hard yes but um my question is if the most effective way to tackle this grace period so um these past few months i've been tackling it as if i'm in repayment so i'm making those projected minimum monthly payments on all of them and then tackling, um, you know, my target. But I'm wondering since there is that flexibility in the grace period,

should I be taking that like extra $800 and just absolutely annihilating my target or just keep with the path of the minimum monthly payments and then throwing the extra at my target? What's your target? Well, you know, just like whatever the smallest one is. When you say the word target to Rachel, her heart starts beating faster. Oh, sorry. No, no. I just meant like, you know, the one, the smallest loan, like working the snowball right now is what I'm doing.

And the one that is like getting all the extra money thrown at it at that time is what I'm referring to as my target. Does that make sense? Yeah. So how many, so your student loan out of the 84, how many separate loans are there? Oh gosh. Well, let me break it down between federal and private. So I, I'm using the federal stuff going on right now to my advantage. I'm just, I'm putting on the back burner because it's got that 0% interest right now. So my private loans are getting all my financial attention right now. So I've been focusing on them and I am down to, I'm down to six of them. Six private loans. And then how many federal? Yeah. Is it just the one? Just a lot of little guys. like one two three four five six

like nine little ones like one to two thousand but they're all they're all like four percent and when they do come back and start you know adding up or whatever but since we're at zero percent right now i've decided to focus on like my 10 to 13 percent interest loans yeah still working the snowball was in my private if that makes sense. No, it does. No, it absolutely does. So I understand what you're saying. I would look at two things, Taylor.

Number one, student loans is the one type of debt we're okay with you consolidating. And it feels like there's a lot to keep up with here. I mean, you're making, I mean, 15 different payments a month to continue. You know, the minimum. I mean, like, there's a lot going on so I would look to see is there a way um you know again look at the option and see okay if I consolidated some of these into a lower interest rate that may just make it more simplistic through it but I still tailor even though private versus public and I hear what you're saying about the interest rate I would still be knocking out those smaller ones. Because you said there's like one that's $1,000 here, there.

I'm like, just go ahead and get those out of the way and get that momentum going as you continue to pay the minimum payments on everything else. How much do you make a year? About 50. Okay. How old are you? 50,000.

24. 24, okay. What do you do for a living? I'm a speech therapist. Oh,000. 24. 24, okay. What do you do for a living? I'm a speech therapist. Oh, way to go. Good for you. And that's a great job, Taylor, to do private sessions with kids and do other things. If I were you, I would be making extra income using your degree because you can make a lot

doing some stuff, maybe a few nights a week. Right. And up that 50, because it'll take a while to some stuff, you know, maybe a few nights a week. Right. And up that 50 because it'll take a while to knock out that 84 with just making the 50. So I commend you on, you know, you've knocked out 10, which is incredible. And you're doing exactly what, in a sense, what you should be doing. And I hear, you know, you're organized. You're doing this. You're excited about it.

There's definitely that enthusiasm that i can hear uh in your voice but i would still pay off that smallest interest rate and i would be working extra get that 50 up for a period of time and and knock this out okay so still just make them just act as if it's in repayment essentially just make all the minimums and just kind of keep doing what i'm doing. Okay. Like the old school, like the baby steps as they're intended, the snowball, like put all 15 of those loans in order of smallest to largest. Regardless of private. Just put a piece of tape over their interest, like the interest you're paying on them. And every financial fancy pants listening to

this and every Instagram influencer is like it's so stupid bro you're just leaving money on the and this isn't a money game it's a psychology game and I would love for you to look up in five months and have four to six of those loans knocked out and you think you're getting ahead because you're paying 13% against 5% and that feels right mathematically. Actually, it is right mathematically. Okay. You're right on the math, but we've just done this so long. The psychology doesn't work. You get tired and then you're going to need a new car and then you're going to need it. Right. And so you're just going to run into stuff and just, just hit the gas pedal on these things. And Rachel said, she's dead on me. Get

another job, get two jobs, work extra. Let's make this a 24-month project and just be done forever. Be 26 and not owe anybody anything. For sure. Is that cool? That is cool. Yep. Thank you, guys.

You're doing great, Taylor. Yeah. Thank you for being a speech path, too. That's a tough, tough gig. All right. Let's go to Logan in Hartford, Connecticut. What's up, Logan? Logan? Logan?

Logan. Are you there, brother? Nope. All right, let's go on to, let's go to Laura in Raleigh. What's up, Laura? Guys, be quiet. Hey, Laura. Hey, how are you today?

Hey, can you hear me? I'm not going to be quiet. That was a mom move you all hear me? That was a mom move That was a total mom move I appreciate that I appreciate that so much I've heard those words

I said that eight times today You be quiet My whole life What's up? Well I have four boys And so there's very little of that quiet in my house You're doing great You did it without swear words.

That's incredible. Yes. Congratulations. So how can we help? Okay. So I need your help because I do not know how to budget my money. My husband has done a great job of providing for our family. He worked at a wonderful job for 10 years and was let go in 2018.

And since then, he has been working on a project where he wants to develop a golf aid for golfers. And so he's been working on that. Can I interject here? Yeah. So he got let go in 2018 and he's had a big idea for five years and has made no money and probably put y'all in a hole. Yes. So, well, no, we're not in a hole yet, but that's why I'm calling to prevent that. Getting close. Okay. Yeah.

So he, like I said, we had quite a bit of money in savings, and we've been living off of that. Oh, yes. He has successfully started a company before, and it's a wonderful company. Y'all have probably heard of it, but I won't mention it. But anyway, he's trying to do it again, and we have about $80,000 left. And he, I, every time I ask him, I'm like, can you, he's, I'm the sender, he's the saver. And so when we have financial discussions, it usually goes something like this, Laura, you need to stop spending money. And I'm like, well, I can't because we have a family. So give a budget he's like well just don't spend money

where we don't need to and i have you said how about you make some no yeah you should you should say that really it's been five years laura i know i know we did have we did have a financial conversation two weeks ago and and they told him, if by June this hasn't taken off, then I want you to get a job or I want to sell our home. So we bought our house back in 20— Okay, hey, Laura, do this. This is too important of a call because too many people are experiencing this across the country. So I'm going to hold you over through the break. Hang on the line here, and then we're going to bring you back. And Rachel and I are going to dig into this with you because there's a lot here.

This is bigger than a money conversation. This has to do with you being terrified that your husband's going to continue this. So hang on the line here. We'll be right back right here on the Ramsey Show. 888-825-5225. This is The Ramsey Show. I'm John Deloney, joined here by Rachel Cruz. And we are taking your calls on money and life and marriage, whatever's going on. 888-825-5225.

And we're going to go back to Laura in Raleigh, North Carolina. Laura, are you there? Yeah, hey. All right, so I'm going to run back through what's going on, and we can start here. And let me know if I'm missing something. Okay. You and your husband had a great job. Things were awesome.

Y'all were cruising along and then he got laid off in 2018. And he's an entrepreneur. He's built a really successful business before. And he had another great idea to help golfers. And I think golfers need a lot of help, but that's a whole other conversation. And so he decided he's going to help golfers need a lot of help, but that's a whole other conversation. And so he decided he was going to help golfers, and then we look up, and it's 2023.

The businesses are making money. Y'all have basically set fire to your savings, and now there's starting to be some, there's some tension in the home. Pressure, yeah. We are getting canned. Yeah, exactly. And so the conversations are turning into hey you need

to quit spending money him to you right yeah and you'll have 80 grand left yeah what does he what does he bring in a year uh so nothing literally nothing literally Since 20, so he got a large severance package, and that was 2018, 2019, and then nothing since then. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. So we had a large, large savings, and we have no debt aside from our mortgage. What's your living expenses, Laura, if you said, okay,

we spend how much a year, if you said, okay, we spend how much a year, if you could estimate? A year? Oh, gosh. Probably $120,000. This is embarrassing because I am the sender and I'm just like,

I don't know how much I spend because if we need it, I buy it. And that's how you guys have been functioning yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I right right before we went to the break I said this isn't a money issue there's something way deeper here um I'm gonna be super honest okay is that cool I'm worried about the future of y'all's I'm worried about the future of y'all's marriage. Here's why. I think that if you were to be really honest with yourself, you're losing respect for your husband.

Or it's going to start rolling into from frustration to, I'm just going to live my life, and he'll tell me to, you're going to end up in resentment. And relational resentment is really tough to come back from. That's the ash. He, on the other hand, is going to wrap himself up in shame. His thing's not working. He's got another deal and then maybe another deal.

I just need this one thing to come through. All of a sudden, he looks up and it's been five years. He's going to tighten the control up and that's going to come out on you. He's going to resent his crazy spending wife who just doesn't understand. He just needs one more break. And you see what I'm saying? And y'all start living separate lives in the same home. And I've said it, you end up two inches apart, but 2000 miles away from each other. And that's a recipe for a whole lot of issues. Is that fair? I've listened to your story before and um

listened to your radio show before and there have been many times i've been like yep that's us yeah and so i am i i am trying though and so And so I did put boundaries in place. I may need to adjust those boundaries. He did acquiesce to my boundary of getting a job by June. But I think my main question is, like, where do we go from here? We have this house. We have about 415 approximately, because I don't know how much it would sell for if we could sell it. But we have 415 in equity in the house. We own- But it's not a house problem. You're trying to solve the math problem. Yeah. It's not a house you're trying to solve the math problem yeah it's not a house

problem it's an it's an income problem i mean that's what it is and so the house isn't the thing that that is you know out of whack i mean obviously you guys have a mortgage and so you're like oh i have to actually pay the mortgage and we don't have you know the money is coming out of savings and so you know on a tactical level laura not just the relational because that's kind of what john was hitting on on a tactical level i'm going not just the relational, because that's kind of what John was hitting on. On a tactical level, I'm going to give you Financial Peace University for a year and every dollar. And I want you guys to sit down together. And I think actually seeing numbers and go back and pull grocery numbers from the last three months, restaurants, like everything you spend money on. Because there is this level of I don't really know.

And that fear starts to magnify when you don't have logic. John always says facts are your friends. So I think just even just for today, just a practical step when it comes to the money piece is for you. And I would say you to do it, to do the budget first, and then you guys sit down and look at it. But I think that's going to give you a guiding post because you're able to say okay we spend uh ten thousand dollars we need ten thousand dollars a month to keep our lifestyle without dipping into savings how do we solve that problem right you can tactically start you know hitting that which is going to give you a level of peace because you aren't terrified right i mean and anyone would laura i mean you're what you've watched savings

i'm scared for you for the last five years. So you're not crazy. You're not this like, oh, I'm over the top dramatic. No, this is real life. You have four boys. You know, you're a mom and you're looking at grocery bills and all of it. And you've been doing that on your own as well, which is what it sounds like. And so he needs to see the numbers realistically of what is going on because this whole idea of, oh, you just can't, you know, just stop spending.

And you're like, no, literally there's like a sports fee for him to play. So like I have to pay that. Like there are things that I. Costco's wild. Yeah. Like there are actual things that I have to spend. And I want him to see these numbers because you've been on an island, Laura, in a lot of different ways, emotionally, lots of ways. But financially, you've been on an island, Laura, in a lot of different ways, emotionally, lots of ways, but financially you have been. And so I want to bring him in to that conversation

and you guys start, and I want you guys to go through Financial Peace University together. I think it's just a great springboard. It's getting you on the same page when it comes to the money piece and what's wild. And I don't know which comes first, the chicken or the egg, John,

but we hear people all the time say, gosh, we started working together with our money and suddenly our marriage improved for some people they're like no we needed our marriage to improve and then we worked on the money together right i don't know which one's first i don't even know if there's a truth that's kind of like that chicken or egg thing um but they both are so deeply intertwined um so let me tell you how i would enter this conversation if i'm you laura i this is i i put the, you have to get a job by June. That is a tactic that comes later. The first conversation is sitting down and saying, we need to have a hard conversation.

And you look at him and say, I'm scared to death and I can't breathe. I think the problem is that I'm not scared because I know that's going to sound crazy. I grew up without a lot. And so I feel like it would not be the worst thing in the world for me. I actually think it would be a little good for our boys to learn less entitlement. Like our boys live in a big house, have a lot of things, and they just think that that's how life goes. And I'm like, no, you don't understand. Those are boundaries, Laura, you can put in place as a parent,

regardless of your financial situation. It doesn't need to be out of desperation. Don't use your boys. Don't use your kids as an excuse to tell your husband you want to move. Don't do that. Don't use your kids as an excuse to tell your husband, I don't respect you anymore because you haven't had a job in five years. And a common trap with entrepreneurs,

especially ones that are successful right out of the gate, is they're really good at the thing they did that they sell and it becomes really good. And they think that they're good at building businesses. They may have just been really good at plumbing or they may have been really good at selling online, whatever. And it doesn't translate all the time and you get stuck like you're spinning your tires in the mud. Right. And so you might not be scared, but you're losing faith in this guy. Yeah. I think that, I think, yeah, John, I think you're right. It's more fear for my relationship than it is for the money and the house and all the stuff.

I'm like, I want to be... I want to be married. There you go. In five years. Laura, that's where you start. I want to be married. That's where you start. Not with you got to get a job, not your lazy bum.

It is, I want to be married to you in five years, and I think that the foundation underneath this is cracking underneath everything. And I love you too much. Hang on the line here. Rachel, we're going to give you the tools that can help keep you guys afloat and put you all on the same page, but you both got to be vulnerable and start there. Okay? Laura, hang on the line,

and Jen will get you taken care of. We'll be right back, right here on The Ramsey Show. Yo, yo. Hey, if you're a new listener and you want to dive deeper into the Ramsey baby steps, go to ramseysolutions.com and click on the get started button. We'll help you figure out the best next step for your financial journey based on exactly where you are today. Sometimes we're talking through the show and people are like, ah, that's not really my situation. Go to ramseysolutions.com and click on get started and it will line up with exactly where you are. ramseysolutions.com, click get started. All right, let's go to Anthony in Davenport. What's up, Anthony? How are we doing?

Hey, Judd, John, and Rachel. How are you guys doing today? Great. What's happening, brother? How can we help? Hey, so I'm calling to see if my wife and I should pay off our mortgage. Yes. Here's our situation. We owe about $160K on our house, and we have about $115K in the savings account, another $27K in a checking account, and then another about $25K in a joint account that we can pull out and have access to at any time.

So I was just calling to see if that, I guess that would be less than about 8K in savings. Just calling to see if that's a good move or if we should build up our savings a little bit. Yeah. How much do you guys make a year, Anthony? So last year was about 170K, 170, 175K. Okay. Okay, okay. Do you know off the top of your head what your expenses would be, three, six months? Yeah, that like $8,000 would be about close to, it'd probably be three or four months.

But then we also do have a nine-month-old son at home, so I didn't know if that changes anything. Yeah, I mean, you know, I would lean, whenever kids are in the picture, I like to lean the six-month rule just to like, because you have it. And there's no, we want you to pay off your house, but there's no point in draining absolutely everything in order to do it, right? We want to be wise about it. But if you're getting a check for $14,000 February 1st or February 15th, is that right? Are you talking like a tax return? No, I'm saying like if you make $175,000,

your take-home's going to be what, about $14,000? No, your take-home would be about $11,000, right? Yeah, we'll probably be a little bit shy of that this month okay so if you went down to 8 000 or you just wait till february 1st or february 15th and you get down to eight you're going to turn around and get a check for 11 and you're going to spend two to three to four of that for the month and you're you're right back up to your four to five to six month emergency fund right okay yeah yep so yeah okay so so you guys are just saying hang on for a couple more months just to be on the safe side i mean i would probably wait through

february 15th but then yeah i mean i would cash out that joint and then take, yeah, what's ever left of that, that 15 during a little bit of the checking. And that's, that's the thing I would do is I would get rid of the 27. I'd get rid of the 25. I would take the one 15 account and probably take 195 out of it into where I had 20 grand left. And then wait till that next check comes back in. That's probably what I would do. Because I, man, here's what it feels like at this moment. You ever drive down the highway, and you really have to go to the bathroom, and your body just kind of settles into that dull ache, like I got to go.

And then you see a gas station, and you exit, and then all of a sudden, it's like rockets. Like, I got to go now. You know what I mean? The urgency is so raw. That's where you are right now. You know what I mean? Like it gets so, the urgency is so raw. That's where you are right now. You've got this money, you realize how close we are. And now it's like, I got to go, got to go, got to go. And Rachel's, Rachel's call to wisdom is important. We just talked to too many people that pay it all off. And then all of a sudden their car explodes

next month and they got a nine month old and now they're in a mess. But I do love the idea of you just taking a big chunk. Take a massive chunk. You got 10 grand left on your mortgage and you've got 20,000 bucks in the bank. And the next month you get a check for 11 grand and you're debt free. Okay. That makes sense. That's how I would do it in my house. Anthony, well done. Yeah. Congratulations, man. That's incredible. Yeah. Thank you guys. We appreciate it. Congratulations. That's really, really, really fantastic. So great. About this time of year, we get flooded with calls because everyone's looking for a fresh start with their money.

We saw record expenses during Christmas, and now we are seeing record balances on personal credit card accounts. And that leads me to believe, Rachel, that people put things on their credit card not to survive, not because inflation, things are expensive, but to prop up a lifestyle. This is the way we live. This is who we are. This is what our Christmas looks like. And I'm just going to put on credit cards. And now we got hell to pay.

So if that's you, you can't just wish for things to change and expect it to happen. You've got to do some different things with your money and you got to have a plan. And we teach you that plan in Financial Peace University. This is the course that will help you rethink how you manage money. You'll learn our proven plan to beat debt, build wealth, plus you'll have our financial coaches to help you every step of the way. And that's really important. People often say, I can't get through on the show. So we hired financial coaches that will help you. Nearly 10 million people, million people have taken FPU, followed this plan

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D-E-A-L. That's RamseySolutions.com slash deal, D-E-A-L. That's ramsaysolutions.com slash deal. All right, let's run to Nick in New York City. What's up, Nick? We're right up against the clock, so go as quick as you can. Get to your question. What's up? Hi, my name is Nick. I'm in the New York area. I'm 24 years old, making $150,000 pre-tax. I work for one of the major tech giants that just laid off about 18,000 people. I'm currently being recruited for a similar role at a large bank for a rough total of about $200,000 compensation. And in short, my question is whether or not I should continue pursuing that role or other roles that are similar, given the current tech economy as that other company's

done 1100 layoffs the which company's in 1100 you said yours did 18 yeah so my current company has done about 18 000 layoffs yeah and the company that i'm being recruited for has done 1100 oh i gotcha i gotcha um what do you enjoy, Nick? You love the banking world? You love the tech world? So they're both technology roles within either, I guess you can call it warehousing or banking. I'm passionate about both. I think my current role is somewhat safe because I own two large platforms, but I often feel like I'm doing the job of about three to four people, which provides some degree of safety, but also makes me feel frequently overworked. And it's kind of one of the reasons I'm looking for a new role as well.

So I'm kind of trying to understand whether or not I should give up that feeling of security to pursue new opportunities in general, given the landscape. Well, I don't think you're going to have infinite security because the field you are in is being shaken around like a snow globe right now, right? So that's the nature of that season right now, right? You're a farmer and it has been raining for years and suddenly there's a drought. That's where you are, okay? If you're telling me that you can make an additional 50 grand in guaranteed salary, stay in the current place where you live, and a company did smaller layoffs, but they have their eyes on you, I would sit down with that company and say, can we sign on three years? And I would be really open because you're you're negotiating from a period of a position

of strength which is you just laid off 1800 people i survived the big 18 000 layoff at my place they want me there i'm nervous to come over i want to be a part of what y'all are doing but i'm nervous to come over and then just turn and get laid off right when i right get there what what guarantees do you have how safe is the right so i would just be really direct and open because you can be because if they say no you go oh man and then you have a hundred fifty thousand dollar job you can fall back on okay that makes a lot of sense um thank you don't here's the deal don't try to avoid the discomfort right now You're in a volatile industry right now. I would try to utilize your

strengths, get as good as you possibly can, seek to get some more credentials, make yourself bulletproof in this season. There is a lot of layoffs, but tech's not going away, man. It's not going anywhere. Hey, this has been the first hour of The Ramsey Show. We'll be right back.

Give us a shout. 888-825-5225. hour of The Ramsey Show. We'll be right back. Give us a shout, 888-825-5225. This is The Ramsey Show. Hey, it's Dr. John Deloney. If you love the show and want a deeper dive on your money journey, we have a weekly newsletter that gives you trending and helpful articles and tips on following the Ramsey way. Just go to RamseySolutions.com today to sign up for our newsletter. Again, that's RamseySolutions.com to sign up for our weekly newsletter.