The Ramsey Show - App - My Husband Treats Our Stuff Like HIS and Not OURS (Hour 3)

Episode Date: October 6, 2021

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Thank you very much. Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host, Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality and host of the Dr. John Deloney podcast and YouTube show is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. Haley is in Denver.
Starting point is 00:01:03 Our first call this hour. Hi, Haley. How are you? Doing good. Thank you. Good. My husband and I are currently on baby step number two. Our annual income is about $115,000 per year, and we have about $75,000 left in debt to
Starting point is 00:01:23 pay off. So I'm thinking that we can be completely debt-free within the next 24 months. Amen. And my question is, where do we prioritize family planning into the baby steps if we're facing an untraditional path to start our family through surrogacy or adoption? Well, there's not a baby in the baby steps um you have babies when you're ready to have babies uh but you throw a curve in there when you say there's a different kind of a cost here okay and so um you know i i think uh and i guess the other
Starting point is 00:01:58 possible uh question that comes up that's similar you You're not asking that question, but the similar is an in vitro. You know, when do we do that? And I'm 36, and I don't want to wait two more years and that kind of stuff. I get that question over the years a lot. It's in the same bucket of questions. And so I think if you're going to do surrogacy or adoption, you would learn so much about these two things that you would find that there's a vast spectrum that people pay for these things, 5,000 to 100,000 spectrum.
Starting point is 00:02:40 Yeah, we're seeing about 45,000 to 60,000 depending on which route we take and if it's in the United States or international. And my husband is 35, so age is something that we're definitely thinking about. I think you've got more research to do. Okay. We've worked with many, many, many families that have done adoptions for half of your low number or less. And so I think you're getting the Bentley pitch rather than the Chevrolet pitch on the adoption process. So, no, it does not cost that much. And so I think you've got, you know, here's the thing.
Starting point is 00:03:27 When I, the more information I gather and the more options I have, the more power I have in making a decision. And I don't think you have enough options yet. As a matter of fact, I'm sure you don't because the prices you're quoting me are ridiculous. Well, that's mainly for our first choice, which would be surrogacy, so that we could have the biological child. The adoption would be secondary, which we know we can do cheaper. Okay.
Starting point is 00:03:53 All right. And, you know, obviously there's a lot of ways to compensate a surrogate, and a lot of price ranges on that as well. So it's such a personal thing and such an intimate thing that it's very hard for somebody on the radio like me to speak into it and not sound callous or not sound like I don't care about it. I do care about it. It's just you do not want to get into these situations
Starting point is 00:04:19 and look back later and, wow, it's so emotional it can cloud you from treating it like a business transaction as much as you should. I want it to be emotional. I want it to be intimate. I want it to matter. But I also want you to use wisdom in the process. Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:47 So I'm not trying to be unfeeling, in other words. But so anyway, I can tell you in our life, me and my wife, when we were walking down some of these steps, we put an end, a line we wouldn't cross because we knew that once we, our hearts got into this deal and once there are people around you always saying, well, there's another option, there's another option, there's another option that suddenly you wake up and you're, you're, you're so far of your head or you're so far underwater. It's just the whole thing. What was going to be this joyous precious moment gets really, really cloudy. What's the 75,000 in debt?
Starting point is 00:05:26 Oh my gosh. Everything. We have cars. How much of it's cars? About $25,000, but last July it was $90,000. We sold, well, we surrendered two vehicles, and then we're paying off the deficits on it. But we have two cash cars now.90,000. We sold, well, we surrendered two vehicles, and then we're paying off the deficits on it. But we have two cash cars now.
Starting point is 00:05:49 Oh, okay. We have two beaters right now. Okay. So the $25,000 is the deficits. Yeah. Correct, yes. And then the rest is some debts too. I have a loan with my parents, and then credit cards, just furniture.
Starting point is 00:06:07 How much do you owe your parents? About $20,000. You know, I might consider making that a pause point in the rest of the – clean up the rest of that snowball because you do want the cash to be freed up to be able to do these other things. So I want you working your debt snowball. I want you pushing through the rest of that snowball because you do want the cash to be freed up to be able to do these other things. So I want you working your debt snowball. I want you pushing through the majority of it. But that 20, I might ask for a moratorium on that until after the baby and say,
Starting point is 00:06:34 Mom and Dad, I'm not going to pay anything on this because we're going to get you a grandkid. Oh, that's a good. Yeah, blackmail. And but yeah, or I mean, negotiate that with them, talk to them about it. And so, you know, that's a different kind of debt that you could get, you know, no payments and no interest while you work through this other thing and then come back to it after baby and get it done. That would be fine. But the question is not really when to have babies. The question is where to stick a $60,000 or $40,000 or $25,000 expense in the middle of your debt snowball. And it's an expense that is very intimate, very emotional, and worth every penny. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:19 I would strongly recommend going to a counselor that you recommend or a pastor. This is one of those moments where your pictures and words get screwed up, right? We think in pictures, but we speak in words, and we're both saying baby, and we're both saying kid, and we're both saying pay off the debt, and that's when one of you has one picture, and the other one's got another one. So just being able to have a
Starting point is 00:07:40 third party to walk you through, make sure everybody's on the same page, where are we headed, what do we want to do here, and what order do we want to do that? Man, you can't go wrong getting's on the same page. Where are we headed? What do we want to do here? And what order do we want to do that? Man, you can't go wrong getting everybody on the same page. Yeah, that's important. And I agree with what you said earlier, too, that you and Sheila talked about. You do have to put a line on this because otherwise your emotions will plow past anything that's reasonable. You'll look up and you'll be 150 in or something.
Starting point is 00:08:04 And I've seen people within vitro where they just break the bank. They just keep going back. And that was my wife's wisdom up front. Let's draw a line here. Let's say this is as far as we're going to take this, and then we're going to work hard, but we're not going to cross this line. And that ended up being extraordinary wisdom, as usually our wives propose. Yes, absolutely. It's just, it's one of those things that's very, it's impossible for people or yourself to tell yourself no on.
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Starting point is 00:09:51 Pre-order from paycheck to purpose at RamseySolutions.com. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Well, the housing market is hot. That would be an understatement. Your house could be worth a lot more today than it was 20 minutes ago. That is not an understatement. That's the truth. Your old insurance policy might not give you enough coverage.
Starting point is 00:10:21 So if your house is worth $50,000 more than it was a a year ago and your insurance policy has the old value stated on it that's all you will get if it burns hello you need to update your policy and guess what your insurance agent didn't call you either some policies automatically raise your coverage a little depending on home price but are depending on inflation rates but not enough to cover what's going on right now and if your agent hasn't followed up and reset your policy you do not have adequate coverage so we recommend endorsed local providers for car and homeowners insurance and you can get a much better deal and you'll get an agent that stays on top of things. These are independent agents. They compare multiple policies to find the best possible coverage for your home and your budget.
Starting point is 00:11:12 Text HOME to 33789 and talk to a trusted insurance pro about finding the right coverage for you, getting the proper amount at the best possible deal. Text HOME to 33789. Richard is with us in Atlanta. Hi, Richard. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hey, guys. How are you guys doing today?
Starting point is 00:11:36 Better than we deserve, sir. How can we help? Hi. So I'm in baby steps four and six. I make about $36,000 after tax a year. I had an idea of working the next year, getting a side job and living off the side job money. So working about 20 hours extra a week at a different job and pocketing my primary jobs money. And I was thinking about saving it towards retirement.
Starting point is 00:12:05 So I was just trying to get your opinion on it. I have six months saved up right now, so I was just trying to get you guys' opinion on it. You're single? I am single. I have two roommates who pay my mortgage right now. Yep, that is my home. How old are you? 24. Yeah, I'm all in man doesn't hurt anything
Starting point is 00:12:30 um is it necessary for you to have a good life no uh if you start saving next year uh i could take a year off and work my butt off doesn't hurt i mean you know i want to work hard make more money and have more money should i do that well the answer unless you're you know giving up something major in your life by doing that is yes uh that's where money comes from so yeah there's nothing wrong with that but i also don't want you to think that that you know you're 24 you make 36 000 a year you need to panic about retirement you can saving 15% of your income now and do that every year as you get raises, as your career grows, and you will be just fine. Would it make more sense to put that towards retirement and let it grow
Starting point is 00:13:17 or put the $36,000 towards my mortgage? Well, we teach that you should be putting 15% of your income towards retirement and everything else towards your mortgage. So both. Both. So if you make $56,000 because of working extra, then 15% of $56,000 would go into retirement that year and any other money you can scrape out of your budget that you want to do something important with would go towards paying off your mortgage early. That's what we teach, baby steps four, five, and six.
Starting point is 00:13:51 We also teach, especially for 24-year-old go-getters, don't overcomplicate it. Don't try to outsmart the system. Just follow it. Yeah, and it does kind of feel like that you're trying to figure a way to game the system here. And my point is you can relax a little. I think you're doing okay. And it's okay to work extra, make some extra money, and then just follow the process, and you're going to get there. You're going to get there just fine.
Starting point is 00:14:18 But it's not like if I front load this thing, can I never work again? It's like, yeah, probably. But that's not what I find as normative among baby step millionaires, everyday millionaires that I meet everywhere. Tracy's in Birmingham. Hi, Tracy. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi. My question is, I am married to a self-made millionaire.
Starting point is 00:14:52 We've been married for three years together for a total of seven. I put my career on hold and I kind of help him with everything, his businesses, multiple businesses. What do you do? Well, one job that I have that I actually get a paid salary from is I am a project slash office manager for an electrical contracting company, and we do jobs across the nation. So that is the one job that I do to actually get a salary for. But on top of that, I help him with everything, all of his other businesses that he has and all of his personal things, like, you know, I understand that you, um, everything before me is yours and your success is yours. Um, but I'm starting to feel like we're never going to build together and I've put my career on hold and I'm helping out with him and his things. Tracy, what else is going on?
Starting point is 00:16:18 There's actually a lot. I've been wanting to have kids, and that's something that I feel like he's bringing me along with as well. And I feel like everything in our lives is his. Like, there's nothing that's ours. I don't feel like he values my opinion or me. You know why you feel this way? Because that's the truth. It's true. That's why you feel this way? Because it's the truth. It's true.
Starting point is 00:16:45 That's why you feel this way. Yeah. You're not crazy. Yeah. Hey, Tracy. You know what? It's funny that you say that, John, because he has been saying that I need to go to a psychiatrist. Yes.
Starting point is 00:16:59 Because there's no reason why I should be unhappy with my wife because he provides me with all these things that I don't ask for. Except for meaning. He tells you what you're going to like and what you're going to love and what you need, and then he provides that without giving you any input on the things that you want and need, and you're living somebody else's life.
Starting point is 00:17:20 It is. Correct. Just like we all got Biden. No, we didn't all. People got Biden checks. They didn't get value and purpose, right? It's very similar. Right.
Starting point is 00:17:31 You're not crazy. It's the gaslighter special when you say, hey, I'm not doing okay. And they say, well, you should probably go see somebody, right? Yeah. Dave said it right on. You feel this way because it's true. Yeah, and I'm a very hard worker. I'm very frugal.
Starting point is 00:17:50 You said you've been married three years. How old are you? I'm 35. How old is he? He is 51. Yeah, he's acting like a daddy. Yep. It's not just the year differentiation.
Starting point is 00:18:05 You're acting like a daddy. Yep. It's not just the year differentiation. You're acting like in a daughter's last employee. Yeah. He's a wee bit overbearing, don't you think? I feel that like I am more of an employee. Yeah. I wonder what would happen if you quit. I have threatened that in the past. I wouldn't threaten it.
Starting point is 00:18:20 I'll just do it. Don't threaten. I'm saying, what would happen? I think the dynamic would change. It changes for a moment, and then, you know, he says all the right things, and then... Now, hold on. What are you getting paid to be the project coordinator slash administrative assistant? What do you make a year?
Starting point is 00:18:42 Approximately, like, $50,000. Okay. You can go find another $50,000. Okay. You can go find another $50,000 job. Yeah, go find a different job. Go find a different job. Oh, yeah, absolutely. And the thing that he always says is that I am spoiled and entitled because he pays all the bills, which he has said he does. Hold on, hold on.
Starting point is 00:18:59 I don't care what he says anymore. All of a sudden, what he says doesn't matter. I've heard enough of it. Yeah, you don't work for him anymore. Now you all have a chance to work on your marriage because you're not you need to go get a job somewhere else and get a marriage counselor and if he won't go go without him and let the marriage counselor navigate you through uh setting this guy up for one possible chance to win or two possible chances to win and then this isn't going to go well yeah it's already not going well i'm so sorry
Starting point is 00:19:26 i'm heartbroken for you Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Kara is with us in Sacramento, California. Hi, Kara. How are you? Hi, Dave. Thank you for taking my call. Sure. What's up? I am just extremely overwhelmed, I guess, is the best way to see it. I'm a single mom. I grew up also with a single mom who struggled. I'm definitely not as bad off as I was growing up, but I'm still struggling. And I know you're going to say I have an income problem. I'm pretty sure.
Starting point is 00:20:31 My friend just introduced me to you, so I've been, like, for the last few weeks listening to the podcast. And, you know, like, sometimes I'm like, woo-hoo, I got the answer right. I knew what you were going to say, but I just can't handle my own mess for some reason. I just, I filed bankruptcy in 2019 because a creditor was going to take 25% of my wages. And at one point I had tried to put 10% in my retirement and I didn't have enough for rent. So I knew 25% was like a no-go. So I did file bankruptcy. I did open a couple credit cards after just to build my credit, which now I know is a bad thing, but I don't use them. I put a small amount. I pay it right off.
Starting point is 00:21:14 I was literally just trying to build my credit. I don't want a fiasco. My rent is going up again in August. I just don't know what to do. I'm terrified. How old is your baby um well they're actually pretty much grown my youngest or my oldest will be 24 in august and my oldest youngest will be 17 in august and you've raised them completely by yourself for the most part yeah um my youngest one her dad we he's basically raised both of them we
Starting point is 00:21:48 started getting my oldest one was five months old so he's her dad the only dad she knows but um yeah he's been in the picture the last probably since she was nine and been like continually in the picture so but you've been you've been an unmarried mother of children yes their whole life and i yeah yeah you and stop them hey stop a minute stop a minute okay you're freaking hero yeah you're amazing thank you and you're exhausted i am I mean, I'm fortunate that my job, I'm a surgical technologist, so I'm able to pick up extra shifts and call. And for many years, I worked six or seven days a week. You've not known how to do anything for 20 years except put out fires.
Starting point is 00:22:40 Yeah, basically, yeah. And I've heard you twice. It gets tired. I've heard you twice on this call try to minimize what you're doing. Yeah, but I'm really lucky, and yeah, I know it could be worse, and yeah, I know. You are doing hero work. And you've almost got it done.
Starting point is 00:22:57 I mean, you're almost done. This is pretty amazing. I know. Okay, so let's open the next chapter and make it awesome together, okay? Yes. I'm so proud of my girls. Now, they are very financially conscious. I want you to be as proud of you as you are of your girls.
Starting point is 00:23:16 And you're not proud of your girls. I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you. Yes. Thank you. All right. So what do you make a year? My bring home is about 41.
Starting point is 00:23:27 It varies because, and I just recently started taking up more shifts like a mad woman again. So what are you, 45? 44, yes. Pretty good guess. Almost like I've done this. Okay. Yeah. A time or two, huh?
Starting point is 00:23:41 All right. So, okay. So you're a 45-year-old single lady whose kids are grown. Yeehaw. Okay. Now, so for the next 20 years of your life, 25 years of your life, you get to have what we call an encore, where you come out on the edge of the stage after the play's over
Starting point is 00:24:00 and you take a bow and then you go again. So now let's just start fresh. Let's pretend we're 18 or we're 45 and we got a whiteboard where do you want to be who do you want to be what do you want to be doing when you're 65 um i want to not be afraid to retire i'm talking about your career yeah oh my career. I absolutely love my job. I love being a surgical tech. I would love to go and finish my education. I would love for you to make twice as much money as you make.
Starting point is 00:24:30 So what are we going to do? Me too. What are we going to do? Nursing or PA has always been my goal. Oh, now we're talking. All right. I like that one. That's a good goal.
Starting point is 00:24:40 So what are we going to take? What steps are we going to take to be a PA? How are we going to do this? Go back to school. Uh-huh. Ta-da. And, yeah, go back to school. And, I mean, I don't feel like my question is going to be.
Starting point is 00:24:52 Will the place you work for pay for it? Well, they'll do tuition reimbursement. Yeah, that's kind of like paying for it. It's awesome. Yeah. I'm liking our plan already. Once you get to a certain point, you have to be able to support yourself and do it because you can't work full-time anymore at that. I know, but listen, you're already setting up roadblocks, and we're just going to pull them.
Starting point is 00:25:16 We could do this for hours. We're going to keep pulling them out of the way. Let me tell you what successful people do. Okay. They look out there, and they say, this is where I want to be. We've already identified that then we ask ourselves the question what has to be true for that to occur that's not true today okay and we've already established some a couple of those things one is you're going to go back to school two is somehow you're going to have to prepare a way to eat while you have to take a
Starting point is 00:25:43 little bit of time off to finish that schooling and we're going to get to prepare a way to eat while you have to take a little bit of time off to finish that schooling. And we're going to get there. And, oh, by the way, along the way, we're going to get out of debt. And along the way, we're going to pay for it for you. So this is getting even better because there's tuition reimbursement. I'm loving this all along. As a matter of fact, you might find a program that would allow you to continue to work there and do your practicum there or whatever it is you're having to do. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:26:05 I haven't finished yet. You just started. This is going to be awesome. Awesome. Hey, Kara. Can I just talk to you every day to cheer me up? Hey, Kara, listen. I'm going to tell you this in 30 seconds.
Starting point is 00:26:16 Okay. My mom didn't go to college. She came from an ecosystem that didn't support that. At 42, she took her first community college class and then she took another one the next year and another one the next year this is my mom i watched it happen and then at 53 she graduated no i'm sorry at 57 she graduated with her phd at 63 she was tenured and at 70 she just stopped being the department chair at the university that she now works at. So here's what I want you to do.
Starting point is 00:26:46 That's a map that Dave's just telling you. Honey, you're just getting started. You have a whole— I think I have an age issue in my own head. It's in your own head because you're talking to a 60-year-old, and I'm pissed off now. And listen, Dave's old. Trust me. He's old, but he's still going, right?
Starting point is 00:27:06 You're dead, Josh. When we get off air, you're just dead. Kara, you got the back half to go. You've just played nine holes, and you got nine more to go. It's encore, baby. Take a bow. So I'm just feeling, like, exhausted. Hey, you should.
Starting point is 00:27:21 You just finished a freaking battle. An 18-year battle. An 18-year battle. A 20-year battle. And you got battle fatigue. Yeah. And I am proud of the fact that I don't, like, I'm not frivolous. I mean, I have my times where I spend here and there that I shouldn't. If you haven't done some stupid stuff, you wouldn't be human.
Starting point is 00:27:43 Exactly. Yeah. Stop it. But I don't vacation, things like that. Okay, so here's what we're going to do. Here's what we're going to do. Okay. You need to go through Financial Peace University because you're going to get this stupid credit
Starting point is 00:27:51 card stuff and this bankruptcy stuff in your rearview mirror instead of out your windshield. I'm tired of it being in your windshield. It needs to be in the past. Yeah. You need to put it back there. We're going to stop doing the stupid stuff that puts you there, and that healing of your finances are going to put you on track to go be a pa you're going to be a pa yes you are and you're going to make more money from 55 to 70 than you did from 25 to 55 and it's going to be so fun and you're going to you're
Starting point is 00:28:19 going to throw your shoulders back and go look at me i did that's right so you have taken care of everyone else and now it's time to take care of you. You've been proud of everybody else, and now it's time to be proud of you. Ding, ding, girl. What a stud, man. You're amazing. Hold on. Kelly's going to pick up.
Starting point is 00:28:34 We're going to put you in a Ramsey Plus membership for a year as our gift to you. To put you on the way. And we want you to get in there and get into Financial Peace University, get the EveryDollar app going, and get your finances straightened out. Go to KenColeman.com. Start following the stuff Ken is doing on career. And you have 30 days to start taking solid steps on this journey. I don't want to talk to you again 60 days from now, and you have done nothing except whine. You should be in school. You go get this journey. I don't want to talk to you again 60 days from now and you have done nothing
Starting point is 00:29:06 except whine. You should be in school. Go get this done. Be in school. Get going now. This is the Ramsey Show. We'll see you next time. our scripture of the day ecclesiastes 7 12 the protection of wisdom is like the protection of money and the advantage of knowledge is that wisdom preserves the life of him who has it. Albert Einstein says, we cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when
Starting point is 00:30:11 we created them. Amen, amen, amen. Requires new thoughts. That's what we're here for. To make sure you have some new thoughts. Some of them are good. New actions. Kevin is with us kevin is in fort walton beach hi kevin welcome to the ramsey show hi dave hi john thanks for taking my call sure
Starting point is 00:30:33 what's up uh so um the question that i have is about life insurance so we are debt-free except for a house we are currently renting. And the plan for the financial freedom is we should be, I guess, kind of at a financially free point in, I would guess, about five years. But my question is, so how much and for how long should we get life insurance, assuming we're going to be able to self-insure in a fairly short time horizon okay um self-insure means that five years from today you're going to have a paid for house your kids are grown and gone or you have so much money that your kids are taken care of if you die anyway how old are you you? So we are, both my wife and I are 34. And you're renting?
Starting point is 00:31:31 We are currently renting. You have children? We do have two children. Okay. And how much money do you have? Currently we have around $500,000. Okay. And what do you make a year?
Starting point is 00:31:48 So our income right now is about $140,000. We live on about a third of our income should be increasing substantially. Okay. Well, I mean, apparently you understand the – my definition of self-insured is there's enough money in investments that your family will have enough income coming off of those investments without touching the principal to take care of them easily without your income being there. Your income is replaced by income off of investments without having to touch the actual principle of the investments if you're going to be there in five years then you know you're there are you guys healthy yes okay because here's the thing i mean a million dollars on a 34 year old just doesn't cost but the cost of a pizza it's not much money and so and i do yeah you're not and i guess that's my question
Starting point is 00:33:09 is do we do that because i know you kind of typically recommend the 10 to 12 yeah i'm just saying but i mean if you buy a million and a half on you uh or whatever you know i mean it's just not much money we're not talking about some super expensive policy. If you go to Zanderinsurance.com and you quote out a million and a half, two million, whatever, on a 34-year-old, it's just not that much. It doesn't cost that much. So, you know, if you buy that for a 10-year or a 15-year, I'd probably just buy a 15-year, and then when you reach the point that you are self-insured, by the definition I just gave you, that your wife and children, you know, they've got $100,000 a year to live on, so you've got, you know,
Starting point is 00:33:54 a million, million and a half in investments that they can draw off of. Once you reach that point, you would just cancel the insurance if you want to. You may find other uses for it but um uh in terms of just padding things and that kind of stuff but um it it's yeah the difference in a 10 year and a 15 year is not going to be substantial enough at 34 years old to screw with it i wouldn't worry about it or even a five year i mean it's, it's just not going to blow you away that it's not triple. You know, it doesn't cost that much more. And so I would probably just go ahead and get a 15-year, 12 times your income,
Starting point is 00:34:32 and then if you reach self-insured before the 15 years is up, cancel it. And I look at those decisions in my life, Dave, on a seesaw of risk, right? And so what's $500 or $600 or $700 a year versus my family being taken care of if something happens? It just doesn't make any sense on the other side of it. Right. I have the advantage and the distinct disadvantage of having sat with 34-year-old widows. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:04 That had $2 million or had nothing. Correct. As have I. disadvantage of having sat with 34 year old widows yeah yeah that had two million dollars or had nothing correct as if i and it's it's dead versus 500 bucks right you know uh for the cost of policy or whatever it is you know and it's um it's not just a game changer that's such an understatement right such an overused cliche to say that it's it's it's oxygen yeah it's everything it's not that money replaces somebody or anything like that but it's a way different conversation man to be sitting in that living room with somebody and they're going dave you know and they're friends of ours you know and dave i you know he we did this stuff you said to do in the class man and we got you know i got i got two million dollars coming and i'm scared I'm going to mess that up.
Starting point is 00:35:48 That's a different thing than I'm scared I don't know how we're going to eat next week. I've got to go to work on Monday. So it's just, it's not that much money. Carson is with us in St. Louis. Hey, Carson, welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave. Thanks for taking my call. Sure.
Starting point is 00:36:04 What's up? So my wife and I, for the last year and a half, have been on baby steps four, five, and six. The two years prior to that, we were on steps one, two, and three and paid off about $80,000 in debt. My question is, so we've got a little one-year-old boy and my wife, well, we're both kind of contemplating together. She wants to quit her job. What does she make? You know, what does she make? She makes probably will be about $135,000 this year. What do you make? I make about $150,000, $160,000. So what do you lose when she comes home and your income goes in half? Well, so the way that we've been living right now,
Starting point is 00:36:54 essentially we're living off of my income and saving everything from her. So you lose the savings. Well, a lot of it, yeah. I mean, you're saving $135,000 that but, well, a lot of it, yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, you're saving $135,000 that you won't be saving anymore. Exactly, yep. And that's okay. So you're not going to be quite as wealthy,
Starting point is 00:37:14 but she's going to get to be there with her baby. Do it. Okay, well, and I'm all for that, too, but I also know what $135,000 and growing over the next five or ten years if we put all of that into an investment account and you know what that can grow up to you know and you know i what does she what does she do for what does she do for a living she does uh digital advertising okay i i would tell her just for the fun of it for the for the intellectual stimulation to do some freelance.
Starting point is 00:37:46 Absolutely. Just to keep herself busy, because a one-year-old would drive you freaking bananas. And if she'll stay current in that world, she can step back in whenever she wants or whenever you all want. You have absolutely no financial need to do that, and I trade one-year-olds for money in about 30 seconds. Yep, yep, and I totally agree with you. It's more just is it, you know, what we could have in the future, is it a wise decision? You don't need it. I'm on your side, I think.
Starting point is 00:38:19 You don't need it. Okay. Yeah, hey, it's not a math problem, Carson. You can be multimillionaires on $150,000. Okay. Yeah, hey, it's not a math problem, Carson. You can be multimillionaires on $150,000. Okay. And by the way, you're not going to make $150,000 in the future because you're going to be making more, and she's also going to have some freelance income. And when the kids are 8 and 9 and 10 and she's sitting at home by herself while they're at elementary school,
Starting point is 00:38:37 she's going to go back to work and do something because this woman likes what she does. She just likes one-year-olds better. Yeah, way more than I'm worried about your income. I'm worried about her identity. And so I'd recommend her getting some professional women, some stay-at-home mom women in her circle. Yeah, and she's got a good support group too. And so I think that makes me a lot more comfortable with this decision
Starting point is 00:39:01 just hearing you guys talk it out. So I really appreciate that. Thank you. I'm so proud of you guys. I'm proud that you got up to baby step four where you can do this, and it's a no-brainer. Yeah, y'all worked hard to get to this exact moment. This is living like no one else so that later you can live and give like no one else.
Starting point is 00:39:15 This is exactly what you're doing. Well done. Very proud of you. John, good show. Thanks, man. Good show, James and Kelly in the booth. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. We'll be back with you before you know it.
Starting point is 00:39:24 In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus. Have a friend or family member that needs a daily dose of Ramsey advice in their life? Let them know about the Ramsey Call of the Day podcast. It's a quick hit of advice about life and money in under 10 minutes. Check out the Ramsey Call of the Day podcast wherever you listen to podcasts.

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