The Ramsey Show - App - My In-Laws Are Overstaying Their Welcome (Hour 1)

Episode Date: September 28, 2020

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🎵 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show. For debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Thank you for joining us. Open phones at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225.

It's common sense for your dollars and cents. Andreas starts off this hour in Tallahassee, Florida. Hey, Andreas, how are you? Hey, how's it going, Dave? Better than I deserve. What's up in your world? All right, so I'm 20 years old, and I'm graduating college in about a year. I'm going to graduate with no debt, which is pretty awesome.

Good for you. How'd you do that? Well, I've been working jobs here and there, and also I'm fortunate that my parents have helped me. Very good. So it's not ending there because I'm planning on going to medical school in the near future, and that's going to be probably $200,000 to $300,000. So my question is, what can I do today to minimize the effect on my financial future? That's a really good question.

Well, what you did, whether you did it on purpose or said it out loud or not, to get where you are was you said, okay, here's what school costs, the particular school that you are in. What are you, Florida, or where are you? Yeah, Florida. Okay, so I'm going to go to Florida, and here's what Florida costs, and here's what the books cost, and here's how much money Mom and Dad can put in,

and here's how much I can work. And you said, okay, here's a target, and it's a target that I can hit, and here's the steps it takes to hit that target, right? Mm-hmm. That's what you did. I don't know how intentional or how out loud or whether you had spreadsheets or whether you just did it in your head or how you did it,

but at the end of the day, in order to accomplish graduating from the University of Florida 100% debt-free, that is not an accidental act. You did intentional steps. Agreed? Yes. Okay. Let's do the same thing with med school. Number one, med school is unbelievably, there is an unbelievably wide spectrum of cost based on where you go.

So $300,000 one place, maybe $150,000 another place. Where you live on campus, where you live off campus. What city are you in? How expensive is that city? A lot of variables that go into the cost here, and it's not like there's only one price for med school and it's always $300,000. That is not true. Follow me? Just like there's more than one price for a four-year degree when you live in the state of Florida.

I mean, you chose the University of Florida, and fine choice. But, I mean, you could have chosen to go to Vanderbilt here in Nashville and paid eight times more than you paid for the same four-year degree, by the way. Correct. Okay, you didn't do that. So that's my point. We're going to choose something that's more affordable since we're broke. Because I've got to tell you, I've gone to a lot of doctors,

and I never once asked where they went to school. I just said, can you fix this? Right? Yeah. And that's all I want to know. Can you fix this? And they go, well, I can't, but I know a guy that went to so-and-so, and he went to this school, and he can fix it.

Okay, good. Well, let's go over there. But I don't start the conversation with doctors and lawyers on where you went to school. And I've hired a bunch of them over the years. I'm old. I've had both, lawyers and doctors in my life. God help me. But so that's the thing, right?

So the point is there's very little value on where you go to school unless you're going into a very specialized type of medicine or you're going into some kind of research or you're going into something where the prestige crap matters. What really matters is can you learn to fix humans and be a doc? And that's the thing. So I'm going to go shopping if I'm you, and I'm going to become an expert on every med school in the U.S. and what they cost. And then I'm going to target in on the bottom 5% ten percent of those and do that that's thing one thing two is I'm going to investigate the medical industry the hospital corporations that are out there that desperately want young docs and try to find out

what programs they have got where they're willing to pay for you to become a doc oh but you promise to work there for a few years for them after you get out that'll do it number two military has the same exact program they'll pay for you to be a doc and then you work for the military for a few years after you get out and it's a very set specific program you know what you're signing up for and it's way the crap cheaper than 350 thousand dollars in student loan debt okay number four there's a thing called an md phd program very hard to get into but if your grades are great and you're an excellent citizen you stand a chance people do actually get in them i talked to a guy last week in the MD-PhD program. What this is, is you actually go to work for the university teaching classes at the university while you're in med school. As an employee of the university, a very special employee of the

university, you go to med school free. Now that's the sweetest deal I gave you on the list, but very hard to get into. There's not a whole bunch of those out there. There's not a whole bunch of candidates that are accepted. But dude, if you can land one of those, that's the gold standard right there on med school for free. And it will change your career if you can go to med school debt free, because you'll make different choices about the type of medicine you study. You'll make different choices on who you go to you study. You'll make different choices on who you go to work for. You'll make different choices on the crap you have to put up with off these companies in order to eat and pay your bills. And I don't want you all tied up in that stuff. I think you're too smart.

So point being, is it easy to go to med school debt-free? Absolutely not. It's not easy to go to the University of Florida debt-free, but you did it. All your friends are lazing around the dorm getting a degree in beer pong, and they got $45,000 in student loan debt. And they're just happy to be a gator. You know, I mean, that's it. Come on.

Seriously. This is the problem, isn't it? But all you did was you got focused and intentional, and you turned around and you said, I'm going to be different. And I want you to do the exact same paradigm, the exact same mindset for this. Hold on. I'll have Kelly pick up. I'm going to give you a copy of Anthony O'Neill's book, Debt Free Degree. It's really designed for undergraduates coming out, our high school graduates coming out, going into undergrad, teaching people to do what you just did. But there's also some good thoughts and some good promises in there, things to follow through on, like I just gave you on how to do even a grad school work debt-free without getting all

tied up in it. So, hey, thank you for calling in, brother. Guys, the student loan problem is not an education problem. It's not an education problem. No one can afford to get an education in America today. Just not true. That's not a true statement. You can go to an in-state school live in your parents house eat your mama's food come home at lunch and have a bologna sandwich go back to class and pay in-state tuition and work a job and you can work your way through just like he did

with a little help from mom and dad and you can get an undergraduate degree in america today with zero student loan debt but the first thing that has to happen is you have to stop assuming the student loan debt is the only way to get a degree so get up off your assumes and go do something about this this is the the Dave Ramsey Show. Let me tell you a story about two families that are very much alike in a lot of ways. Both families have two working parents and a couple of young kids. Each has debt and a struggle to make ends meet, but they're starting to make headway with their budgets and smarter decisions with money. They have dreams and plans, and the only real difference is that one family has the right amount of term life insurance and the other doesn't. Big difference.

If one of the parents die, and that does happen. Their well-being would be destroyed. Paying for the mortgage, utilities, food, and other bills would be impossible, let alone saving for education or retirement. That's why every day I talk relentlessly about getting term life insurance. Just go to ZanderInsurance.com or call 800-356-4282 and see how inexpensive it really is. Be the family that takes those deliberate steps to be different and responsible. It really does make you the hero of your story, and it puts you on course for better things

ahead. Thank you for joining us, America. Nicole is in Chicago. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show, Nicole. Hi, how are you? Better than I deserve. How can I help? Yes, I am 38. I live with my mom.

And I just wanted to know, I know you hate the boomerang or adult kids living at home. I do pay half the rent, half the utilities. I just wanted to know, should I keep doing that until my school loans are paid, or should I move out, which would take me probably double the time? What do you make? I make $55,000 a year, and my school loans are $63,000 right now. But by the end of the year, it would be $57,000 left. I just read your book, uh, the complete guide to money.

I've been doing everything wrong. And so I'm trying to fix it. I do have an emergency fund. Um, I paid off all my credit cards. I cut them up. I'm only trying to pay cash. Um, I did the, I'm doing the monthly budget. And if I continue to stay here, I could pay off the student loan in a year and a half, no longer than two. But I am also helping my mom, like I said, pay the utilities. I haven't lived here. I did leave on my own once with my ex it didn't work out so I came back home I did the boomerang thing um but I just want to know my plan is to I never had a plan before and now I do my plan is to if I can stay here for I give myself a three-year plan a year and a half to pay off my school loans and then a year and a half to save up for a home.

Okay. What do you do for a living? Finance. Finance. Okay. In what regard? What kind of finance? Accounts payable.

Okay. Cool. Good. Good. All right. And I have been moving up in my field as well. Good. Good. Good for you. Well, what I love about your whole story is that you now have a plan

and that you're executing a plan. And so you've got to have enough of the story to know, you know, how to look at your situation. So the way I answer questions on the show is, what would I do if I woke up in your shoes? Or in your case, I've got my oldest daughter is just slightly younger than you. If it was her I was talking to, what would I tell her? Okay?

And so that's a combination, in other words, of financial advice and dad advice. Does that make sense? Yes. And then you can decide whether you want to take any of it or not, because you're a grown woman. You get to decide these things. Okay. But so my concern is that I think you'll have a high overall,

and I think you would agree with this, five to ten years from today, five to ten years out, where you're still living there, that would indicate that emotionally you had some work to do. You need to get out and be a grown person. Would you agree with that? Yes. Okay.

So that's not your goal, and that's not your plan, but that's the overarching concern in this is that you get out there and go be who God made you to be, and you square your shoulders and you fight the rain and the sleet and the snow and you put your face in the sunshine and you have this wonderful thing called a life. And that's what I want you to do as your friend. Okay? Now, can we delay that shortly in order to hit some financial goals

and make when you step out a little bit better? Yeah, that's fine. Personally, I'd probably land somewhere a little bit soon. I'd probably land a little bit better, yeah, that's fine. Personally, I'd probably land somewhere a little bit soon. I'd probably land a little bit. I'd make a couple of modifications to your plan. Modification number one is I would pick up some extra jobs doing bookkeeping on the side, and let's increase your income $10,000 or $15,000, and let's speed this up. Modification number two is I would not stay there until you got a down payment.

I might stay there until you got a down payment. I might stay there till you got student loan done. So 18 months, 18 months, let's be done. 12 to 18 months, let's be out of there, get you an apartment, and then save up for a house while you're in an apartment. And get your life back going again. And you've got this other relationship behind you. Emotionally, you're moving on to the next chapter. The page turns in the book of life for Nicole, and you move on to the next thing. And mom's home was a blessing in the interim. You were a blessing to her because you picked up some of her costs.

It was a safe place emotionally to sit while you healed and knocked out some of these financial things. You discovered planning for your finances while you were there. So that's a good thing that happened while you were there. So I think all of that sounds great. But I'm probably going to say 12 to 18 months, you're debt-free because you're working an extra job and you're out of there. Does that make sense? Yes.

And one quick question after that. Sorry. Sure, no trouble. So right after this new moment is paid off should i save up the three to six months emergency fund prior to moving out or after i move i don't care you need something okay obviously you gotta have something when you move out but you don't have to be all the way out um and you don't even have to be all the way out of the student loan for you move i don't care but you're just wanting to you're wanting to use the financial traction of no rent to speed this up correct and i'm and i'm i'm kevin just giving you a nod and

saying okay cool but let's do it fast okay and so anywhere in there i mean if you still had five thousand dollars worth student loan debt and you save up a couple grand to cover some of your deposits and you go ahead and move out because it works out better to do that because you're making killer money on the side. All of a sudden, this bookkeeping thing you started on the side I told you about took off. You know, you may want to go early. I don't care. I'm not saying you've got to stay there. You're just saying you'd like to stay there to speed this up.

And I'm going to stay there the least time that we can accomplish that goal in air quotes if i'm in your shoes because i think what's going to happen is you're going to have a different sense of dignity when you get power over this money thing that you've not had a different sense of power in your life that you've not had because you get power over money you get power over a lot of stuff and instead of it wagging you you get to wag it and uh that's a different thing and so i'm i'm excited about where you are very very well done it's honor to speak with you thanks for calling in open phones at 888-825-5225 you jump in we'll talk about your life and your money tyler is in sacramento hi tyler welcome to the dsey Show. Hi, Dave. Thanks for taking my call. Sure.

What's up? So I am in a weird place with, my wife and I, we have a three-year-old daughter, and we're about 21 months before she goes to kindergarten. And I'm trying to decide whether or not it's a smart decision for us to leave California. Things are very expensive here. We are not getting any happier, I guess you could say. We have a lot of quality of life issues right now, as I'm sure many people from California have. And we're looking to move to a different place, maybe towards your area, Nashville area, in Tennessee or in Idaho. I have family in Idaho. But I know that if we do that, we're going to take major pay cuts. And both of my wife and I make really good money. And I'm just looking for some advice. What do you make?

I make $150,000. Doing what? Finance. What do you do in finance? I run operations at a hospital. So you don't think ops managers at hospitals make six figures in Tennessee? Of course they do. No, I know that they do, but my wife also makes six figures, and she works in education, and she would take a major pay cut, I believe. What type of education? She works at the department of education she does professional development for teachers oh for the state for the county the county okay

yeah she'd take a pay cut yeah um i don't know how much but you know unless she went private somewhere but she's not going to go government to government and make that kind of money in these other states you're talking about. So you might go from, what, $300 to $200? Yeah, we're about $150. I thought you said you were $150. We're about $250, I'm sorry. Yeah, okay. So you go from $250 down to probably $100 or $150?

Right. Well, no, you wouldn't go to $100 between the two of you go to 150 yeah i mean you're gonna have a serious cost of living change because of real estate costs if nothing else other costs aren't that in tax savings i mean a lot of these states have zero income tax compared to yours i think you're miserable and i think you're leaving and you're just gonna adjust your careers and figure it out spend some time shopping on careers and then figure out which state you're just going to adjust your careers and figure it out. Spend some time shopping on careers and then figure out which state you're going to. But I think I heard you already say you're leaving. You just got to come to grips with what you're going to make.

This is the Dave Ramsey Show. We'll be right back. John and Cassandra are with us. They're in Tucson, Arizona. Hey, guys, I see on my screen you're debt-free. Congratulations. Thank you. We're so excited. We're excited for you. How much did you pay off?

$50,000 in 21 months. Woo! Way to go! And your range of income during that two years? With all of the contract jobs and side gigs and our normal jobs, we stayed about $84,000. Cool. What do you all do for a living? John is an executive chef for a nonprofit, and I'm the community food coordinator for that same nonprofit. Wow. What was the best side gigs you guys had?

He wrote a book, and then he's a contractor for an oven company here. Okay. Very cool. Good. Good. What kind of debt was the $50,000? Cars and medical and credit cards. Credit cards, boo. How long you guys been married? 13 years last week. All right, so what gave you the wake-up call after what, 11 years and some change of marriage? You know, we took your class in 2016 and then paid off some debt and then fell off that bandwagon.

And then in 2018, I started working here at this nonprofit that has a second chance program for people coming out of jail or prison and needing that second chance. So I teach your high school addition to them. Wow. Awesome. And so it kind of, you know, I teach that four times a year here. So it kind of kept us on track. Well, yeah, I kind of convicted you. You can't ask them to do stuff you're not doing. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. So now it's hard to be a teacher teaching something and not doing it. It's so inconsistent. We always gravitate towards smart when we do that. I love it. Way to go. Yes. So you kind of got fired up again, T, watching them, the light bulbs going on over their head when you're teaching it.

And you said, okay, this is for us too. Yes. So we just hustled and we put, you know put all of our money towards the debt, and people would laugh at us and say silly things, and you're always going to have that car payment. And it's like, nope, we're not always going to have that car payment. Right. Always is a long time.

Yes, yes. I don't like always. Not when it comes to car payments. Okay. Way to go, you guys. Way to go. So what do you tell people the secret to getting out of debt is now that you've done it? Just, you know, stick to it.

You know, you can have that financial freedom and, you know, just budget. You know, the budget is everything, you know, and you're going to, you know, have a bad month. You know, we still have bad months and we always tweak that budget, but just it works. I have about two thoughts on that. One of them is the slave is the debtor is slave to the lender. That is one big one. But one thing that I can't wrap my that I try and get people to wrap their mind around is imagine if you had your full paycheck to spend on what you wanted to do how you wanted to spend it that i can't wrap my mind around that yeah yeah that's that changes everything and i always used

to yell that from the stage when we're doing these big events it's like breathe in what would happen if you had no master card yes yeah you hadn't discovered american distress or yeah yeah and so on and so on so on what if you had no payments no car payment no house payment student sally may got kicked out she's no longer allowed in the spare bedroom what if you had no payments no payments yeah you're you're exactly right john if when you can just visualize that when you can kind of breathe it in even if it hadn't happened yet it it gets you fired up. Yes, and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Absolutely.

That is not an oncoming train. Well, well done, you guys. Very well done. So you obviously had some people making fun of you. Did you have any good cheerleaders around you? Oh, my gosh, yes. Our friend Stacy, she followed your your program and every time we paid off that debt like i would call her she was amazing she kept us going very cool very cool

well congratulations you guys very very very well done very well done all right we've got a copy of chris hogan's book for you everyday millionaires that is the next chapter in your story for sure well done john and cassandra tucson arizona 50 000 paid off in 21 months making 84 count it down let's hear a debt-free scream okay three two one Yeah! This is how it's done right here, baby. Oh, you've got to love it. You've got to love it. Very, very well done.

Well, our question of the day comes from Blinds.com. You can find out why they are the number one online retailer of custom window coverings. You get free samples, free shipping, and with the new promos they run every month, you'll save even more. Use the promo code RAMSY to get the best possible deal. Today's question comes from Matt in Wisconsin. Says, my fiance and I both have full-time jobs and have worked hard to get where we are. I'm an accountant heading towards my CPA. I have one and a half semesters left before I plan to sit for the exam. She's a doctor, pretty solid in her profession at this time.

No debt, perfect credit score. I'm going to school. As a result of built-up some debt, she wants me to sign a prenup. She's a doctor and has worked hard for where she is. So I do sort of get it. I'm living paycheck to paycheck. I need help or at least some advice. I'm not sure how I feel about the prenup.

Matt, I don't know how much debt you have, but she ain't that special. She's not as special as she thinks she is. So the only time I recommend a prenup is in extreme number situations and these are not extreme she simply makes more new and she's responsible and she doesn't like your responsibility i think she doesn't want to marry you sir and uh and and she wants to marry you but oh well not if there's any possible pain involved well let me help you with this if there's any possible pain involved. Well, let me help you with this.

There's going to be pain involved in being married, period. So, you know, if I run into somebody where one person has, you know, $5 or $10 million and one person has zero, yeah, I'll probably put a prenup on that one. It's really not for the two individuals that are getting married, but more for the weirdness that is around them in their life because their stupid mother-in-law has got some idea she's entitled to the new son-in-law's money or some weird crap, and that's the stuff I run into. But just I'm a doctor and I make money, I'll kiss my butt. I mean, give me a break.

The arrogance of that's unbelievable. So no, no, no no i think you need some pre-marriage counseling maybe you can work through this issue but she needs to love you more than she loves money and she ain't got that much money there's not that much involved here there's not an extreme thing going on here at all um So there you go. Now, I had one guy, one lady call up and said her fiance had a classic car and he wanted a prenup. And I'm like, he loves the car more than you. Okay. If this is my daughter, we're not getting married. Not if I got any say-so in the situation. So no. The thing is this, when someone works really, really hard, like you guys

have worked in your field, CPA, docs, whatever, lawyers, you spend a lot of money, a lot of time becoming a professional. That is a wonderful thing. It is an indicator that you're bright people. But it is also an indicator that you've had such a singular focus that you're willing to put the career issues and the income associated with a career ahead of relationships. And that means I'm not going to go forward with that one. Not until we can get that solved. Because we don't want this career to be the thing.

Because it's all about her being a doc more than it is her being your wife. And so, I don't know, just an old man talking. So you do whatever you want to do. But the problem is you ask my opinion around here, I'll give it to you. Because I am an expert on my opinion. And so far, it's worked out pretty good for me. Most of the time. Sometimes I step in it up to my knees.

But most of the time, pretty much the deal. Here's the good news is, Matt, you get to do whatever you want to do. But you ask me, and that's what I would do. Pre-marriage counseling until there's no prenup needed or until the engagement is broken off. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Katie is with us in Fayetteville, Arkansas. Hi, Katie. Welcome to The Dave Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave.

Thanks for taking my call. Sure, what's up? I'm actually like hiding in a closet just to ask you this question because I've got in-laws in the house, my question pertaining to them. But anyway, I'm 24 and my husband is 28 and we're a newlywed couple and we just bought our first house in Arkansas. Our family is from California and a month ago, my husband's parents decided to move to Arkansas to be close to us and for the lower cost of living. And so we actually invited them to temporarily stay with us in our new house under the expectation that they'd take a couple of months to find their own place and that

my father-in-law will find a job over here because he's actually been on unemployment for a year now, which actually just ended. But it seems like the problem is my father-in-law isn't really motivated to find a job and move out. He hasn't applied to anything, and he gives, like, every excuse to delay applying. And it just seems like they're waiting around for his Social Security to kick in when he turns 62, which is still over a year away. And they're in debt, and they have no retirement plan, and they spend a lot.

So my question is, how can my husband and I motivate them to move out or at least give us a plan for when they will move out so we can enjoy our space and our new home as a newly married couple? And you don't have to make phone calls hiding in a closet in a home you own. Yeah. That would be a neat thing. That word picture right there just kind of says it all doesn't it yep yeah okay how long you guys been married uh less than a year okay all right um

well this is a um highly emotional very difficult process that you've gotten yourself into, as you can imagine. And my suggestion to you is that you don't say a word to them that he does all the talking, their son. The thing is, my husband will say, like... Your husband needs to grow a backbone. If not, you can run down to Walmart. You can buy them on aisle three. He needs a backbone.

If you try to handle this, you're going to be the Wicked Witch of the West for the next 42 years in this family. Yeah. It's not going to work. You do not have the emotional footing to throw his parents out. Only he does. Your problem is not your in-laws. Your problem is your husband.

He won't deal with this, so you called me. Did I miss something? He would be on the phone with me right now if he could. But the thing is, whatever he says to his parents, it doesn't land because they will guilt trip him. And we were the ones who invited them to live here. I understand that. Understand that. I understand that. But it'll land if it sounds very clear and it's very loving and very, very firm. And he needs to lower his voice an octave when he's doing it and very, very calm and say,

Mom and Dad, this isn't working. We thought we were helping you. You're driving us crazy. We love you. You have 30 days. November the 1st, you guys need to be living somewhere else. Now let's figure out together how we can cause that to happen because you will not be living here after November 1st.

This has gone on too long. It doesn't seem to have an end to it. because you will not be living here after November 1st. This has gone on too long. It doesn't seem to have an end to it. And I love you more than life itself. You cannot live in my house. I've been married one year. I need my space. Now, let me tell you what's going to happen, okay?

Okay. Your lazy-butt father-in-law is going to get angry. And your husband's going to have to smile and say, Dad, I love you. And November the 1st, you're not going to be living here anymore. And then the mother-in-law is going to chime in, and she's a travel agent for guilt trips. And you're going to have to bite your little tongue, and blood is going to run down the back of your throat, and you're going to have to bite your little tongue and blood is going to run

down the back of your throat and you're not going to say a freaking word but your husband is going to man up and handle this messy maid if it doesn't go down that way that's the least messy you can do okay option number two is you get involved and you you are the Wicked Witch of the West for the next 42 years. You're the evil daughter that stole your mother-in-law's son away, and then you wouldn't let them live for free in perpetuation. And you're just a jerk. And because they can't blame him because he's theirs, so they'll have to blame you. If you open your freaking mouth and say one word, that's what's going to happen.

Now, can you tell I've been here before? So the second thing that's going to happen is you're going to do nothing, and you're going to sit here and get progressively miserable, and three years from now you're going to still be sitting in your closet talking on the phone and that will be your fault not theirs because you didn't deal with this you have got to deal with this you know exactly what needs to occur so does he no one wants to face it and so basically these guys have become emotional bullies to you all. They're holding you at bay because you're scared of their reaction.

Is that right? That is right. So hubby, hubby, hubby, hubby, backbone, bubba, backbone. You got to stand up. Time to be the man and go, you know, Mom and Dad, we thought we were being a blessing, but gosh, it's just not working. You're driving us nuts. We don't even see you out here looking for a job.

We can't figure out what's going on. So I'm just going to go ahead and give you a deadline, and then we'll work together and help you get there. If I can help you get a job, fine. If I can do some other stuff, fine. I'll help you move your stuff. I mean, we love you. We're not trying to be mean to you. we do not take you to raise and we cannot you cannot be here anymore and he's he's just gonna have to say all those things and he probably ought

to say i'm like tonight should i be in the room or if you can keep your mouth shut okay some people can keep their mouth shut in these situations and others can't because when the stress comes up and Okay. or something like that. And if you want to, if you're the nice person that you, and then you can't keep your mouth shut, then stay out of the room. But this is not, this is not unkind. We're not being mean. We're not angry. We're gentle,

strong, and saying out loud that this has got to change. And I love you, Mom and Dad. And the reason we let you move in here in the first place is we love you. But this idea that we're going to live together for three or four years ain't happening. And it appears there's no end to this, so we're going to put a deadline on it. Okay. It feels like a lot of conflict, doesn't it?

Yeah, it does. And the thing is, they're not terrible. No, they're not bad people. They're just lazy. And they've been saying, like, oh, once we move to Arkansas, I'll apply for a job. Or, like, once this happens, I'll apply for a job. Yeah, kick the can down the road. So now, once you're homeless, you can apply for a job. Kick the can down the road. So now, once you're homeless,

you can apply for a job. Because you're getting ready to be homeless. Or maybe you ought to apply for a job now so that you're not homeless. That might be even a better plan. I'm being sarcastic, okay? But these are not bad people, but no one tells them no.

And that's how they've gotten away with this crap. Because they're such sweet people. They're what we call a lovable slacker. We like them. They're sweet. But they don't do squat. And they become a parasite into your life. So if you want to pick up the book and become an expert on this, you can.

It's by Dr. Henry Cloud. It's called Boundaries. And it'll change your life. And that way you won't have to make phone calls from the closet in your own home. The absurdity of that picture illustrates how badly you have to deal with this. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. This is James Childs, producer of the Dave Ramsey Show. You can listen to Dave, Rachel Cruz, Chris Hogan, or the rest of the Ramsey Network anywhere with the Ramsey Network app on your smartphone.

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