The Ramsey Show - App - My In-Laws Gave Us a House but Now They're Homeless (Hour 2)

Episode Date: September 10, 2020

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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studio, this is The Dave Ramsey Show, where America hangs out to have a conversation about your life and your money. I'm Chris Hogan, Ramsey personality, and hosting along with me is Dr. John Deloney, also a Ramsey personality, and we are very excited to be here with you. I am the host of The Chris Hogan Show, which you can find any place that you listen to podcasts and shows. I have a lot of fun. I take live calls.

We dive in. We talk about money. We talk about life. My latest episodes are talking about ready to crush your debt. Are you letting excuses get in the way of your financial progress? And are you avoiding these huge financial mistakes? So those are the three recent episodes that you can tune into. And John himself also has a show, uh, that is available, uh, new episodes every Monday,

Wednesday, and Friday. He gets real on life relationships as well as any kind of mental challenges. And you can find his show at John Deloney, or you can also email him a question. Maybe you have a question about something with your family. Maybe you have a relationship situation. You go, I just need somebody to give me some guidance. You can email John. AskJohn at RamseySolutions.com.

So, are you ready to go? Let's do it, man. All right. We've got people calling in, and we want you to call us. Okay? Kelly is in there sipping sweet tea. She's very relaxed. We need her busier.

I want you to call 888-825-5225. Again, that's 888-825-5225. I'm going to get hit by Kelly at the break. It's okay. But listen, we want to hear from you. If you've got money questions or relationships questions, we'd love to talk. All right, first up, we've got Tommy calling in from Charlotte. How are you, my friend?

I'm doing good. How you guys doing? Oh, focus and not finish. What's on your mind? Well, I just recently retired, 61 years old. I've got about $500,000 in cash and I'd like to have a little advice on what to do with it. Where'd you get $500,000 from, Tommy? From closing out a business.

Oh, wow. Selling a business. Okay, so is that all that you have for retirement? I have about $250,000 in a 401k. Between my wife and I, we have about $65,000 a year in pensions. Okay. In pensions. All right.

Very good. So you got this money in cash. You sold your business. Were you excited to sell the business, or did you have to sell it? Well, it was a little bit of both. Okay. The virus and stuff sort of pushed us along a little bit, but I was almost ready anyway. Yes, sir.

Yes, sir. Okay. So 61 years young. You got all this money. Tell me, do you owe any debt? Don't have any debt. Oh, I like you, Tommy. Tommy.

You mean to tell me, is your house paid off, Tommy? It's paid off, yeah. I got the goose pimples. I like it, buddy. Tommy. Oh, I like it. So now what we got to do, you got 65K in pension, 250,000 in like it. So now what we got to do, you got $65,000 in pension, $250,000 in 401K. You know what we got to do?

We got to make this money get to work for you, bud. That's what I want. I don't know where to put it in the mutual fund or try rental property or what to do with it. Okay. Now, what's your wife think? I'm sorry. Are you married? Yes.

How long have you been married, Tommy? Been married 37 years. Goobly goop. Okay, boy, that's a long time. And so you and your wife, you guys make decisions together? We do. Okay. I want you to sit down and talk to her because you guys have obviously been intentional about where you are and what you've done.

And now be in agreement about the importance of trying to grow this money. See, you've worked hard over these 61 years to get to where you are and what you've done, and now be in agreement about the importance of trying to grow this money. See, you've worked hard over these 61 years to get to where you are right now. We don't want to let this money slide through your hands. So my suggestion is going to be, my friend, that you get connected to a SmartVestor Pro. You're in Charlotte, North Carolina. We've got some great people down there that you sit down and talk with about, hey, how to invest this, because you're going to invest based on your risk tolerance. And what that means, Tommy, is what your goals are, the time frame,

and what it is you want to accomplish. You've got $65,000 coming in pension. You don't owe anybody a penny, okay, which is fantastic. So now it's a matter of making some decisions, right? So I would definitely get connected. Go to DaveRamsey.com, click on SmartVestorPro, and sit down with them. And I want you to interview the SmartVestorPros until you find the one that you go, this is the person that understands me. I can talk with them,

right? Because the SmartVestorPro is going to have a conversation with you where some of these investment people, John, will talk at you using high-end words that people don't understand. We ain't got time for that. We need to understand what's happening, and we need to grow this money. Tommy, you and I know you've been around the block a while. Inflation is real. That means the cost of living is going to rise.

So we need money to grow. Putting this money in a jar under your mattress actually causes money to shrink. So when we invest it, it gives it an opportunity to grow. So that's what I'd love for you to do. Have a conversation with a smart investor pro. Don't invest in anything you don't understand. You want to crystal clear, see the path. You said grow stock mutual funds.

I completely agree with you, but you need to see it, understand it. And your wife needs to be there with you. I want you guys making this decision together. Buddy, I'm proud of you. And I'm sorry to hear that the COVID situation caused you to have to sell a little bit earlier than you wanted to. But you put yourself in a great position by being out of debt. Tommy also is going to need to go to something next. You know what I mean?

Yes, and he mentioned something. Do I put it in gross mutual fund? Then maybe I buy a couple of rent houses and then he can be the 65-year-old tinkering landlord that just is a great guy to have around, but it helps him stream coming in of income. So who knows, right?

It might be an option, but it's one of those things where when people start to get into real estate, they make me nervous because they either get the bug and they can overdo. And so if you're going to do that, only do it with cash or looking at this with the pension and the money they have come in. I mean, they're essentially everyday millionaires, right? They're pretty close. No, you take the value of their home with the $500,000 and the $250,000.

They're there. So, you know, just be smart. And does he want that headache or that happiness, right? He might enjoy being that landlord. You're right. But again, talk with a smart investor pro. You and your wife lay out a game plan. And then do me a favor.

Don't do anything until you all are in complete agreement. Okay, 100% agreement. I know you're saying, Hogan, that's like a lunar eclipse or something. No, it can happen. You just got to have some conversation and take some time, buddy. I appreciate you. Wow, it can happen. You just got to have some conversation and take some time, buddy. I appreciate you. Wow, that's big. Before we leave, you had a throwaway line. I want to make sure we sit on it for a second.

You got to find something else that brings joy in your heart, that gives you purpose, whether that's serving, whether that's reading books to elementary school kids three times a week or being a crossing guard or getting another job, whatever it is, being done at 61, you sell your business, you may, quote, unquote, win the money game. You're an everyday millionaire at 61. Congratulations.

But, man, if you just quit life, your body falls apart, your heart and mind falls apart. You've got to go do something. And you just die. Right. I mean, you can only sip so much sweet tea on the front porch. That's right. I mean, which I can drink a lot of that. I mean, I like it.

But, I mean, you go, but you want to go do something. I'm with you. That gives you meaning and purpose. Yeah. Whether you're mentoring other business owners, this guy's got some experience he can share. Walking alongside young married people. He's got almost four decades in, right? He's been married 37 years, John.

Okay. He's got some people he could guide. Right. And I think it's important to get connected, have some friends, Tommy, and do some fun stuff too, my friend. I want you to map out what the next 30 days are going to look like for you. I want you to map out every single day, what are you

going to do? Go volunteer? Go hang out? Go drink coffee? About 142 cups one morning? No, don't do that. You never will go night-night. You'd be wide awake, baby. But get something you move into that makes your heart happy and proud of you all. And you've done a great job, my friend. Stay tuned. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. Families all over the country are discovering a faith-based and budget-friendly way of meeting health care costs, whether they're anticipated or completely unexpected. For example, take the Olcheski family

from LaGrange, Texas. Jeff and Carice had just celebrated the birth of a new baby boy. Shortly after, they had another expensive medical issue come up. They could have faced a huge financial setback, but thanks to Christian Healthcare Ministries, the Olcheskis were spared from a ton of medical bills. As members of CHM, they're part of a group of believers who financially and spiritually support each other. CHM is the longest-serving health cost-sharing ministry and is a Better Business Bureau-accredited charity. It's Christians helping other Christians,

and it shared nearly $97,000 to help the Olcheskis. To be a part of Christian Healthcare Ministries, visit chministries.org. That's chministries.org. CHM is a proud sponsor of Dave Ramsey Live Events. Welcome back. You are listening to The Dave Ramsey Show. I am Chris Hogan, and hosting along with me is John Deloney. We are excited to be with you and very, very excited at the opportunity of talking to you. So here's what we want you to do. Call us, 888-825-5225. Again, that's 888-825-5225. We'd love to talk to you.

And you may have a money question. You might have a relationship situation. And you go, I just need some guidance. And so we're here for you. So look at us. We're happy. Look. Smile, John.

Show the people. There we go. And see, we're here. So we're excited to talk with you and would love the opportunity to hear your question. All right. Next up, we got Nick in Evansville, Indiana. Nick, what's on your mind, buddy? Nick, how we doing? Nick, how we doing?

Chris, how we doing? Focused and unfinished, my friend. Hey, just before we get going, you're Nick, right? I am Nick. I am Nick. You guys are Chris. I'm Dr. John. There you go, buddy.

What's on your mind? All right, so I've got a confusing family kind of question here. Uh-oh. Okay. Yeah. Okay. So I've got to give you a little bit of a back story, okay? I'm 36.

My wife is 41. My wife was adopted and grew up in Texas. She found her biological mother up here in Indiana about 15 years ago. She got divorced in Texas and moved up to Indiana and stayed with her biological mother about 13 years ago. About a year after that, her mother and her grandparents moved to China. They started an English teaching school there. Her grandparents had been doing missionary work in and out of China for the past 25 years or so.

So they were familiar with the country. All right. And then my wife and I got married 10 years ago. And as a wedding present, my mother-in-law and my wife's grandparents gave us a house, gave us their old house here, free and clear. They have lived in China ever since, again, doing the English speaking school there, English teaching school. Okay. So now because of this whole pandemic thing, they are unable to restart their school this

year. And without an income, they have now moved back to the United States. They don't have any place to live. They are right now talking about purchasing an RV, which they are not on the Dave Ramsey plan. So they're talking about, you know, potentially buying a motor home for $30,000 and financing it and then just driving around the U.S. Her grandparents are 85, respectively, and whatnot.

Her grandpa has kind of dropped some hints about how much he paid for the house, you know, and things like that. Uh-oh, here we go. Yeah, so I'm kind of unsure. They don't really have a very good financial situation going on, and I don't know what to do here. I thought we were on baby step seven for a while. We just found you guys about a year and a half ago,

and we paid off our debt, and we are debt-free. We got our emergency fund in place. How much this house that they gave you, how much is it worth? About $120,000. So they gifted you this home free and clear. You never had a mortgage. That's correct. Okay, Dr. D., what are you going to do here?

Man, Nick, here's the deal. You've got to decide who you want to be and what you want to deal with and what relationships are or are not worth to you. And this is a boundaries question, And this is a character and integrity question and really a family values question between you and your wife. And if you, that your parents, her parents have no claim to the house. They've got no financial ties to the house. It is what it is, what it is. They can't come back a decade later and say, hey, by the way, we want that house back. The other side of that is they gave you a free house a decade ago.

You're a millionaire now, and you're looking at in-laws being homeless. And so you and your wife are going to have to decide to sit down and say, are we going to participate in this? Are we going to help in this? Are they going to be in an RV? But again, you're talking about a decade. The gift part is over as far as I'm concerned. They gave you a house 10 years ago. That is over.

What you're dealing with now is in-laws that are back in the States that may be homeless or may be moving into an RV. Right. So, Nick, are we talking about the mom and dad or are we talking about mom, dad, and the grandparents? No, just mother and then grandpa and grandma. So, Nick, what do you want to do, man? Well, I've got three options the way I figure it. All right, list them out. Yeah, absolutely.

If you're just tuning in, this is not the Jerry Springer show. This is still Dave Ramsey's show, so keep going, Nick. All right, Nick, what are the options? My options are give the house back. Option two would be to sell the house, give them the cash for that, or we keep the house. And, I mean, there's got to be some compensation somewhere. You know, it's how I feel, you know, about this.

But, you know, as far as what that is, I mean, we've done a lot of improvements on the house, you know, between in the last 10 years we've lived here. Nick, there's a fourth option, Nick, where they were running a business. The business went away, which has happened to millions and millions and millions of people. Right. And then they had to move, which has happened to a number of people. And now they have to start another job.

And they've got to get an apartment. They've got to start over like other folks. If you guys want to, as in-laws, help, great. That's right. That's remarkable. Yeah. But this idea of give it back. I mean, if you guys want to give your house away, more power to you.

Rock on. But don't feel like you're obligated to give a house away. No, I wouldn't. And I even see, Nick, the option of selling it and all that stuff. I literally would not put that on the table. The mindset of allowing them to come. How big is this home? It's an older home.

It was built in the 50s. It is about a 2,000-square-foot house. Okay, and it's you, your wife, and do you all have kids? We do. We've got a one child lives in texas um with uh with his biological father right he's uh he's about to turn 18 okay uh the other the other child i mean he's 21 right he just he actually moves back from texas and is staying with us while i get some of his feet let me ask you this where are they living right now um uh her her her mother yeah yeah uh they Right now. Her mother-in-law?

Yeah. They are actually staying in a friend's second house. Okay. Yeah. So they have a place. Okay. So, you know, I think it's important you and your wife get on the same page with this. This could really get sideways.

Yeah. And I think the two of you being on the same page, I wouldn't sell the house. I'm just not being able to help them. And I was going to say, if they didn't have a place to live, to come stay there for X period of time, as long as we have understanding, but I don't, there's not a reason for you to take a step back because they gave you a gift. You know, like if you gave me a TV, Nick, and five years later, my TV gets broke, right? I'm not expecting you to give me another one, right? And so it's just, this is a matter of you getting really stable about what you feel

and where you are, but you and your wife getting on the same page. And what can you do to help? If they start bringing it up and all that, I'm not participating in that, right? There's a lot of anxiety in this situation with a failed business and trying to find a place to live, but there's no sense business and trying to find a place to live. But there's no sense in Nick trying to put this all on him. And if they do start bringing it up, you know, asking questions about like, well, remember that time we gave you a house? Yeah. Then I think it's fair to take your mother in law out and say, I realize y'all are stuck.

How can we help? Right. What are you what do you guys need over the next couple of months and then if it fits in your financial plan if it fits in your character and values and it fits in you and your wife's plan for your life and for your family's life then you can write them a check you can help out you can let them live with you for six months if you want to give them the house back because you guys have another house then rock on to the break of dawn i just i don't want you to do this out of well you gave us gave us a house once, so now we owe you a house. You can't live like that. No, you can't. And what did you say?

A gift with strings is manipulation? It's manipulation, man. Yeah. So when they come back, like, hey, remember that time I paid for lunch at Wendy's? Nope. Sure don't. You know what I mean? Don't remember it.

Got bad memory. Has that amnesia. Man, that stinks, Nick. Get with your wife and get a plan for how you're going to support her and be helpful, but you don't owe them a house. Yeah. No, I completely agree. Be on the same page.

Be on the same team, my friend. Everyone stay tuned. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Thank you. Welcome back to The Dave Ramsey Show. I'm Chris Hogan, and hosting along with me this hour is John Deloney. Now listen, this show is all about you guys calling in or listening to get your specific question answered, and it's usually about money. Right now, I want to ask you something. What if you never again had to question what to do with your money? This is possible for you. You can feel in control and actually make some progress. You just need the right plan.

So, Ramsey Plus is the plan. It's the one membership that coaches you step-by-step through our best products so you'll know what you're doing and be confident that you're doing the right thing with your money. You'll be guided through our three big hitters, Financial Peace University, the premium version of EveryDollar, and our new Baby Steps Tracking app. Plus, you're going to get tons of different courses and tools and access to financial coaches that'll be able to answer your question. So with Ramsey Plus, you can know you're doing the right thing with money. Start your free trial today at DaveRamsey.com slash FPU.

Again, that's DaveRamsey.com slash FPU. Again, that's DaveRamsey.com slash FPU. Ramsey Plus is where it's at. Okay, here we go. We're going to Carlos. Carlos is calling us from Fort Lauderdale. Carlos, how can John and I help you? Hey, guys. How are you guys doing?

Focus to not finish, my friend. How are you? Pretty good, pretty good. So I guess I'll give you a little bit of background. It's more of, I guess, to get some opinion more than a question directly. So I'm 27. I live at mom's house.

I work remote, so I make around $130 a year, software developer. So my main issue is financially, I would say my mom isn't the most savvy person. You know, she's wealthy. She's had money coming in most of her life, but recently, I'm going to swell.

So, you know, the situation got real bad. So it's got to a point that her income is more just on investments. She's racking in around 50-something a year, but she lives way above her means. So, you know, I'm having to constantly contribute and kind of hand her money uh my main i mean which is not necessarily a problem but my main problem is just seeing it spend so stupidly right so like i'll get you know i'll get friday or something random day she'll come in and you'll be freaking out about expenses and about money and so i'll obviously give her whatever she needs and then the next two days or three or whatever i'm seeing you know take out being ordered and and money just being spent left and right.

Got you. Carlos, hold on a second. Hey, wait. You're properly caffeinated. You're ready to roll, buddy. All right, hold on a minute. Now, do you live with your mom or does your mom live with you? No, I live with her.

See, I thought you said I'm a 27-year-old making $130,000 who still lives with my mom, and I'm calling the Dave Ramsey Show to talk about how she needs to get her stuff together. And so I want to back up a little bit, man. What are you doing still living at home making $130,000? I mean, I'll be honest, man. I lived alone for a few years. My mom is divorced, and just to save money, I didn't see the need for me to live on my own.

She is alone now, and she's not in the best spot in her life. She went through a bad divorce a few years back, so she had a lot of pets in the house. It's a lot of hard work to be alone right now. I'm planning on leaving. I'm

looking at houses right now. I have my pre-approval letter. I used to live a little further away, in Georgia actually. How is she irresponsible with money? What does she do? You said she'll order some takeout. What else does she do? Living above

her means. If you're making $50,000 a year, you should live under $50,000 a year. We used to live in a five-bedroom house before because we were four guys and my mom and dad. And now it's just her and a huge house alone, and it's just not needed. Is the home paid for? I would say about 60%, so I think it's $800,000. I think we have like $500,000.

And are you paying rent while you're there? I'm not paying rent which is why obviously i have no problem kind of passing it along it's just i hate to see somebody kind of uh you know the my main problem is is mentally right coming in and freaking out about finances you know asking for money then spending it instead of spending it in bills and so carlos carlos brother there's this is a hard. There's nothing you can do about it. You can sit down with her. You can buy her financial peace university.

You can set a good example. But at the end of the day, one of the most significant challenges young folks face is when their grown adults are making poor decisions or not healthy decisions or bad financial decisions. And you're just watching somebody you love make knuckleheaded moves. It's a lot like your parents probably experiencing their raising you as a teenager, right? They love you and you're making knucklehead teenage decisions. At the end of the day, you can't change your mom's behavior. Yeah. Did she freak out when you told her you were planning to move out?

Yes and no. Obviously, she knows that she shouldn't freak out, but yeah, it was definitely on the negative side. I mean, I think we could make it obviously work. It's not like I'm going to be moving out hours away. It's probably like under a 30-minute drive. I guess one other thing, it's been around, I don't know, 50 racks or 50,000 around the past year or so

that comes out of my pocket to kind of fund the excess lifestyle. So I guess should I keep enabling that? It's not a problem because it's not like she's super negative on the financial side, right? You have some investments. The 50 grand a year is technically off of investment. So her explanation is like, look, whatever you give me, I'll just give you back from the app. She has assets, just not cash flow, right?

I'm with you. I think it would be healthy for you to have a dollar amount that you're contributing, obviously, to the household. But I think more importantly, it's this time frame that you're going to move out and go live your life. I think that's going to be absolutely imperative. And giving your mom a proper heads up of when that's going to happen I think is important. And, you know, as you are giving her the money, how she handles it, as John said, you can't parent your parent.

Once you give her that money, it's her money. It's hers. And so it's going to be a matter of pointing her in the right direction, you know, letting her know, you know, about the total money makeover and Ramsey Plus and things of that nature, tools that will help her if she's going to use it, my friend. And so that's the reality. That's tough, but like you said, you can't be responsible after you give someone a gift. And so, Carlos, here's what I would do. I would sit down with my mom and say, Mom, in six months, I'm planning on getting a house.

And as part of this transition, I'm going to start paying rent for the next six months. And this is the money I'm going to give you. I'm going to pay you $1,000 a month for my room. I'm going to pay you $500 a month for living in your house, whatever you all agree on. That's the money I'm going to write you a check for every month. And the rest of it's going to go into my down payment. So she's got six months to plan on you stepping out. You feel good about paying for this, and it's not just leaking out of your pocket.

That's right. And then you can have a clean transition. What we're doing is putting some structure on this thing. It's a boundary. Right now, it's loosey-goosey. That's right. And so now, with your mom having six months heads up, she can find a roommate.

Let her figure it out. But don't try to save the day in that. But I do like the idea of having that structure and that time frame so you can start to move forward, and you can do it with confidence and know where you are. All right. Next up, we got Jessica calling from San Diego. Jessica, how are you? Hi, Ben. Hello there. How are you?

Good. Thanks for taking my call. Yes. How can we help you today? So my question is this. I guess it's kind of like, what is the mindset I need coming out of Baby Step 3, really indoctrinating the whole program or financial piece? My husband and I were like totally on board. We totally rocked it. And we're at this point now where we're like, okay, we're going to attack our mortgage. And we're seeing, well, what is the job we want to do while we do this?

And I'm kind of at a crossroads where I've had a home daycare for a long time. But recently I started baking. And I'm kind of getting really into that. And I feel like that's kind of like my jam right now. And so what is like the next step you take? I think the next step for you is to make a bunch of your best baked goods and send them to Ramsey Solutions. Attention, Chris Hogan and John Deloney.

We'll try them out, and then we'll let you know how you're doing. How about that? Hey, so, like, you bake. Like, what are you baking? I'm making artisan sourdough. Artisan sourdough. Okay. You got my attention.

All right. Here's the deal. She's trying to start a business. I want you to hold on here. We're going to go to the break. When we come back, we're going to start to talk a little bit more about Jessica's thought and idea. Is this thing a business or is it a hobby? We've got to determine the difference between the two and give her a clear plan.

So stay tuned. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. We'll be right back. All right. Welcome back to The Dave Ramsey Show. I'm Chris Hogan, and I'm here with John Deloney. And before we went to break, we were talking with Jessica. And Jessica, are you there? Yes, I am. Okay.

So you were saying, hey, you had an in-home daycare. You've been starting to bake, and you're thinking that baking is the new thing. We asked you, what kind of things are you baking? And you said some artisan bread. Artisan sourdough. artisan sourdough our artisan sourdough i'm sorry you gotta get that right get that right hogan get it right you gotta keep sourdough alive so so in this what are you thinking is this is this a hobby or is this a business a hundred percent i am looking towards us being a Okay. And how do you think, what's the best approach to do that?

So I'm thinking to set, you know, like a three-year goal. So I'm 37 and I think by the time I'm 40 to have this plan in place seems reasonable. Okay. So a three-year plan, the plan in place, what do you mean plan? In three years, you want to have what? A storefront bakery? I really do. Yeah. Okay. Storefront bakery. Just a bread shop.

All right. So let's talk about this. Where are you all financially? What kind of debt do you all owe on right now? We are almost wrapping up Baby Step 3. Good. So we've got three months saved and we want six months. Good. So maybe another three months, actually months actually we'll be out of

baby step three all right and you guys are both working right now yes okay full-time jobs yes all right what's the household income so we're just above just about a hundred thousand okay so you have a three-year plan of potentially having a storefront where you're selling. Now, here's the thing. How long have you been baking? Well, this is recent. This is definitely a pandemic hobby. Okay. But my dad is a chef, and so I've kind of cooked my whole life and watched cooking my whole life.

And I'm able to do it, and I'm getting really good feedback right now from it. Are you selling any of it right now? Right now I'm just giving it away to people that get super excited about it. Okay, how much is a loaf going to cost me? Oh, man, they're about $7 a loaf. Okay, I like that you had a price. I like that you didn't stutter to quote it. I think the big thing now is you've got a dream.

Now what we have to do is work out the plan and the process. And step one would be to continue to get this fully funded emergency fund in place, right? And then I want you to start to invest the 15%. But then I want to see how serious you are. And I mean by sweat equity, which means you give up some sleep to start to work on a business plan, right? It's where you give up some social time to kind of look at your recipes and start to think, what is my offering going to be in the store in three years? You can't just have one type of bread, right? You know, so you got to start to think, but I want

more importantly, because it sounds like this was something you did like in the midst of the pandemic. I really want to make sure it's something you this was something you did like in the midst of the pandemic. I really want to make sure it's something you're passionate about. Yeah. And the beauty of a shop like what you're trying to start a business, what you're trying to start, you can start selling loaves now on the side. You can create an extra 20 loaves a week or begin to sell them and you get good feedback. And so this isn't something you've got to go run and jump into. You've got to have to get through the baking, which you're good feedback. And so this isn't something you've got to go run and jump into. You've got to have to do the baking, which you're good at,

and then you're going to have to do the uncomfortable part of this side of business, selling it, marketing it, that other stuff. Why don't we send her our good friend Christy Wright's book, Business Boutique, on how to start a side business that can one day become your main jam. So hang on the line, and Kelly will get you a copy of Creech's book. Jessica, we'll definitely do it. But I also want you, how does your husband feel about this? So we've had some projects that we've taken on before, and we're a really good team.

And he's a restaurant manager, and so I'm trying to pull him out of that and help me. And he's just kind of like, well, let's just, you know, see how this goes. Right. So he's right now. He might be a little skeptical, let's say. I think the big thing is, is although you're going to dream in high definition and you sound like a go-getter, what I want you to do is pull back from that big vision and start to get down into the granular details.

Meaning, because you'll scare him to death. Okay? Okay. You really will, because you sound like you're wired like, yeah, that you're wired. One of them is, it's called a micro bakery. Okay. And you use these like boutique cottage laws and you're baking out of your house. Right.

And the next step is to buy a bread oven. Good. And believe it or not, people hook them up wherever they can fit them. Yep. My friend is doing this, turned a room of his house into a bakery. Okay. But I'm just like, we don't want to go into debt. No.

We're 100% never doing that again. Good for you. So do you save like how you would just, you know, when you're in four or five, six, you're putting a little bit away, and then is there a, you know, fourth option where it's like, okay, the oven. Right. Well, here's the reality. That's a great point. So you're going to be finishing up baby step three.

You're fully funded emergency fund. Then you're going to start to invest the 15%, right? But then what you're going to do is look to take on an extra job, right? Or start selling some bread. Or start selling some bread with the equipment you have. And then you start to save up. As you sell bread and money comes in, you're going to set some of that aside because you say, oh, we're going to save toward this oven.

And so you prioritize what you're saving for. But I'm glad to hear you say no more debt. See, that's huge. And that was the thing I wanted to get to because too too oftentimes john people will dream and get so excited that they're willing to do it at any any any cost at all and that's not the way to do it and you can just craig check craigslist for all of the there's extra bread ovens and things where people got all excited they went and borrowed a bunch of money and launched it and then three months later they're like i don't like doing this yeah and so

that's where i mean we got to find out is it something that can, is it a viable business? Right. Or is it something you love doing for other people, for yourself, and it becomes a ministry for you, it becomes a hobby? That's exactly right. Right. And so, again, but talk with your husband, share your big vision, but at the same time, understand, your day job right now is going to work as that on-ramp to this dream. And so you need that job. But you can sacrifice some sleep in working on a business plan, thinking about who's the competition,

who else is in the bakery industry that you could reach out to and talk. And you just want to start to learn the ins and outs, right? But you can function from your home, start small, and earn the right, literally, to grow your business. Christy's got some step-by-step guides in her book that you can just literally check through and follow on how to build this thing from the floor up. Without a doubt. Okay, here we go. We've got Debbie on the line.

Debbie, what's your question for us? Hi. My question is, how do my husband and I get on the same page when it comes to giving? We are in Baby Step 7, and he is always like, oh, what if this happens? What if this happens? He's always, I think, living like waiting for the next shoe to drop. And, you know, he grew up with his family having a business, and they almost went bankrupt a few times. And I think he's just got that mindset.

Right. But do you all have an emergency fund? Oh, yes. We are everyday millionaires. Okay, here we go. All right. So do you all do any giving at all now? We do, but I would say like $8,000 to $10,000 a year,

and that with our salary and net worth is not a lot in my opinion. Okay. So how much, Debbie, would you like to see you all give? That's a good question. I don't know that I have a set amount. I just know it's considerably more than what we're giving right now. Okay. Would you say that it's double or triple or more of what you're giving now?

I'd say double to triple probably. All right. And the reason I say that is, see, if you're not able to quantify it, then your husband can't understand it. He's not able to hear you. OK, that's like saying, hey, you need to do more. And you go, OK, well, how much more you go? Well, I don't know, but just do more. And so it's this thing that he can't he can't see.

Now, I will tell you, and John, I want you to chime in on this. It's going to be imperative for you to be clear about what it is you want to do. The charities, the church things that you want to support. And that way you can go to him in on this. It's going to be imperative for you to be clear about what it is you want to do, the charities, the church things that you want to support, and that way you can go to him concrete and discuss. Yeah, here's the deal, Debbie. We often speak in words, but we think in pictures.

And so I want you to sit down, just like Chris said, and not say, hey, we just need to do more. We need to start giving more. We have a lot of money. I want you to say, we need to help a kid go to school. We need to really, we need to double what we're giving to our local church. We need to start giving more. We have a lot of money. I want you to say, we need to help a kid go to school. We need to double what we're giving to our local church. We need to get involved in a local food pantry. And I want to give $10,000.

Be very clear. Paint him a picture. So it's not just a bunch of words. And this is a values conversation, not a math conversation at the beginning. That is fantastic. I want to thank all of you all for tuning in. I want to thank Zach Bennett, our producer. Kelly Daniel, associate producer. I want to thank all of you all for tuning in. I want to thank Zach Bennett, our producer, Kelly Daniel, associate producer. I want to thank all of you for listening. This is The Dave Ramsey Show.

This is James Childs, producer of The Dave Ramsey Show. On your smart speaker, you can add our skill by saying, Alexa, open the Ramsey Network skill. From there, you can listen to all our shows. Ask Dave money questions like, how do I invest my money? Or what is the debt snowball? Find out more at DaveRamsey.com slash smart speaker.