The Ramsey Show - App - My Mom Is Forbidding Me From Tithing (Hour 3)

Episode Date: August 14, 2020

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Music Music Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studio, this is the Dave Ramsey Show, where America hangs out to have a real and relevant conversation about your life and your money. My name is Anthony O'Neill. Joining me today and co-hosting with me today is future number one national bestseller, one of the best radio hosts to join the team.

I like that call out, man. The one and only Dr. John. You're putting that out into the universe for me, man. Hey, brother, man, you got to speak. One of my mentors says, speak what you seek until you see what you spoke. Come on, brother. So I'm just speaking it over your life, because if if you win i win if i win you win i agree together we win i'll take it i love it i'll take it we're here for this uh hour you

guys taking your phone calls around life around money give us a call 888-825-5225 888-825-5225 and kicking us off this hour is going to be be melissa out of ohio good afternoon melissa how can dr d and i help uh good afternoon i had a question uh we have a daughter that just graduated from high school and she's going into the navy we'll be leaving in november and i'm just we've never had anybody in our family be in the military before and didn't know what would be the best thing for her to do with her money for the five years that she's enlisted or if there's anything else that we need to think about of doing before she leaves. Okay so she's about to go into the military right now. Does she have any savings right now?

She does. Okay how much is it probably about three or four thousand dollars okay cool does she have any debt going into the military no no debt all right so this is what i i love this you all are excellent parents you all have set her up to win and to succeed what what are her dreams right now? Why is she going into the military? What does she want to do? There has to be a vision for her life before we can really address really what she should be doing with the finances. Okay. She doesn't really know what she wants to do. That's part of the reason she's going into the military. She does want to go to college, but she doesn't know a career choice. And so she didn't want to start college

without having a direction. And so that was kind of what prompted her to go into the military. She always wanted to travel a little bit. So she thought if she did that, and she would also have, of course, money for college when she gets out. Yeah, I love it. And hopefully have more of a direction of what she wants to do. Yeah, I love it. This is a great route for her to go, all right? So this is what I want to recommend to you as a mother.

Spend some time with her, specifically over these next two years. Help her to really start identifying some of the things that she's really strong in so she can start focusing on that because from the financial part uh dr d uh she's not going to pay for any school okay the military is going to cover her bachelor's degree and so with her money right now i'm going to tell her to live below her means so right now she needs to get a fully funded emergency fund and i want to even say go ahead and get six months fully in there uh then once you get six months in there then i want her to go ahead and start investing into uh a roth ira

really start investing into her future because with her being young right now she can have her six months saved up within a matter of eight months being in the military and then from there oh man she's it's a beautiful situation she'll be a millionaire before she turns 55 she'll beat you there mom so don't get upset at her don't get get excited yeah i won't Oh, man, it's a beautiful situation. She'll be a millionaire before she turns 55. She'll beat you there, Mom. So don't get upset at her. Get excited. Yeah, I won't.

Hey, Melissa, can I ask you this question while I got you on the phone? I'm going to flip the tables on you a little bit. I know you called us to ask a money question. You mentioned that you don't have any other military veterans in your home. You're not a military family. What has your thought process been when your daughter said, hey, you know what, I'm enlisting. I'm heading off to the Navy, and that's the route I'm going to take? Well, I didn't hear it from her at first, so I kind of had a chance to kind of think about it a little bit before she actually come to me.

And I'm in full support of it. I mean, it is a little bit before she actually come to me. Um, and I, I, I'm in full support of it. I mean, it is a little scary. We have three other adult children who all live within 30 minutes of us. So that's, that's the hardest part of letting go of the baby of the family. Um, but I actually think it, it's going to be a good move for her, especially with what's going on in our nation right now. Well, I want to applaud you for being able to take a deep breath and exhale and to know that you had a picture of next Christmas of all of your baby chickens sitting around the same table, and one of them is going to be serving our country, serving my family, a family you don't even know, and

serving Anthony and Anthony's family and the rest of ours. And you were able to step back and say, you know what? This is best for my baby girl, and this is best for our country. And so I want to thank you for being a level-headed, thoughtful, caring parent. Yeah, yeah. And I want America to hear what Melissa did. She trained up her child in a way that she should go. She's going into her adult life with no debt, with $4,000 in savings.

Now, people are probably saying, well, $4,000 is not a lot of money, Anthony. Yes, it is. When I was a high school kid, I had $4. And I spent them on Twizzlers and Mountain Dew, man. But let's take it off of high school kids. Nearly 50% of the people in the world right now cannot afford to pay cash for a $400 emergency. So this young lady has $4,000 sitting in her savings account when nearly 50% of the people don't even have $400 cash sitting in their savings account.

They got to go to a bank. They got to take out a credit card. They have to go into debt to handle this. So I want Melissa to hear this and to all parents hear this. This is what parenting is about. Not all of it, but really setting your child up to leave your nest and go into the real world prepared. We can make this the Melissa Parent of the Week segment because beyond just the finances,

she also raised a daughter who is thinking for herself, who knows, you know what, I'm not just going to go to college because of where my friends are. I'm going to go learn some discipline. I'm going to go learn college because all my friends are i'm going to go learn some discipline i'm going to go learn some job skills i'm going to go have somebody pay me to serve and i'm going to spend the next three to four to six years honing my craft honing my character honing who i'm going to be and that comes from being raised that way right to not follow just get in line because everybody else is going some way but to focus on on serving, focus on stopping, surveying, getting the good answers, and then going forward with the rest of your life.

Good for you, Melissa. Yes. Good for you, man. I wish I could talk to her daughter because I want to encourage her daughter. She said that her daughter doesn't know what she wants to do, so she didn't want to waste money by going to college. Neither did she want to waste her time as a transitioning adult so i'm gonna go serve so i'm gonna go serve learn grow get paid so i'm gonna be a good steward of my time so that way when i turn 21 22

i have money in my savings account i I've learned something. I'm older. I'm mature. Well, this gives me pump. This hour is going to be amazing. I'm telling you all America. Melissa is going to write a book called How to Be a Mom. Yes, yes. 888-825-5225 is Dr. D and myself in for this hour. We have a beautiful, beautiful people out here in the lobby.

So give us a call. They may want to answer one of your questions too. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. beautiful people out here in the lobby so give us a call they may want to answer one of your questions too this is today randy show You know what disappoints and angers me to no end? As folks are going through some pretty hard times, identity thieves are using every opportunity to prey on us. With everything that's going on, thieves are setting up fake websites posing as government officials to get your personal info and claim your benefits and services. They're also sending phishing emails to download malware so they can steal your banking details, your money, or your personal info. The scams are endless. ID thieves are unrelenting and you need to be prepared.

Zander's ID theft protection is the only plan I have ever recommended, and I've looked at them all. They just do everything in a smarter, more affordable way. Look, most of these plans are just a bunch of hype with a lot of features that are a waste of money, not Zander. I made sure of it before recommending them to you call 800-356-4282 or visit zander.com and get yourself protected it really is a necessity kicking off this next segment with uh laurie out of denver colorado good afternoon laurie how can dr d and i help good afternoon gentlemen thanks for taking my call um so right now i live very meagerly on about two thousand dollars a a month. But I'm about to come into about $200,000 from my parents' estate.

And I'm trying to figure out like what is the best thing to do with this money. I am a full-time student. And so the first thing I know that I have to do off the top is put aside money for school. But then other than that, I have probably three more years of school to get my master's in psychology. But then after that, what do I do? So your inheritance, I guess, have you lost your parents, unfortunately? Yes. My mom passed away two years ago, but I didn't find out until last September. And then in September, my stepfather passed away and I didn't find out until the week before Christmas. Oh, goodness. The only reason I found out is because my brother is the executor and I didn't find out until the week before Christmas. Oh, goodness.

The only reason I found out is because my brother is the executor and I was listed in the will. So are you disconnected from your family? Yes. Okay. I'm sorry to hear that. Give us. Yeah, definitely. And we're sorry about your loss

and we're sorry about everything that's going on around this situation. But let us help you out to where you can use this correctly and effectively for your life. Right. Because I know this money can change my life. I just don't want to blow it off. Well, Lori, it's not going to change your life. It will. You know what I'm saying?

So you've got to say this this will change me if i am a good steward with these resources so let's walk that process um do you have any current debt right now anything um the only debts i have are like old debts i have some old credit card bills that are in collections the medical medical debt in collections. Okay. How much? How much? And it's probably somewhere, well, total, it's probably around $30,000 because I do have some student loans as well. And I owe my divorce attorney from five years ago, $10,000.

So you're looking at 40K? Probably. Okay. And then how much do you need for school for the next three years? School is about $25,000 a year. For this year, I already have some grants. $25,000. What school are you going to, Lori?

University of Northern Colorado. Oh. Is that the What school are you going to, Lori? University of Northern Colorado. Is that the only school you can go to? It's not the only school. It's, well, where I live, it's the closest major university. But then it's also, they have the bestknown psychology program in the area. Okay. I'll let Dr. D talk into that. You know, he has a doctor's degree from a little bit of everywhere,

so I'll let him explain. I don't believe that one school is better than another school. I don't believe in that philosophy. I believe what's the best school within my budget. But I'm going to help you out on the financial side, and I'll let Dr. D talk into the school side. So right now, with the $200 hundred thousand dollars you're going to pay off all of your debt you're going to go ahead and do the right thing and pay off all forty thousand

of it you can even go back and pay your attorney for the work that your attorney did to help you become a free woman okay and so now you're down to 160 000 i want to pause right there lori do you hear what he's saying? Yes. And I'm going to pass judgment on you, okay? Because you've got money in collections. You've got a divorce attorney that you own. I want you to take this moment as a reset, like Anthony said, and pay off everybody you owe.

Yes. Right? Yes. Okay. Yes. Okay. Continue, Anthony. Because what we want to do here, Lori, is we want to start your life on a good, solid, healthy foundation.

It's a reboot. Yes. It's a reboot. So that way you're not worried about your past. You don't have to hide from people. You don't have to ignore phone calls. You can answer every phone call boldly. You can go to your mailbox boldly. You can have that strong situation.

So now you have one hundred and six thousand dollars. I'm going to set aside twenty twenty five thousand dollars in my emergency fund for three to six months. So we take away, let's say, twenty five thousand dollars. You know, now we're at one hundred and thirty five thousand dollars. I'm going to sit down with a smart investor and we're going to sit here and figure out, OK, what can I invest into? We're going to open up a Roth IRA. We're going to invest into a 401k at your job we're going to make some smart decisions there and so let's say right now you only can put in about six thousand dollars into like a roth ira and maybe you can open up another account i want you to talk to a smart investor pro to start investing because i'm assuming right now that you don't have any retirement, maybe other than a 401k. Am I correct?

I have nothing. Okay. And how old are you right now, Lori? I'm 48. Yeah. So that, that's what you're definitely going to do. So there are some things that we can definitely help you out with. So after you invest, you know, I mean, right there, I don't like the fact that if you go into a $25,000 school at the age of 48. I think you can find something that is a little bit less as far as in cost. It's still effective. My philosophy, Lori, when it comes to going to school, it doesn't matter about where you start. It doesn't even matter where you finish. It matters about how you finish and how you finish. There's two things. One, debt-free. Two two was it in my budget right now spending seventy five thousand dollars to get a master's degree in psychology you can't find a cheaper or and i'm gonna say cheaper a more affordable route and honestly you could probably find something online now dr d am i speaking this

right as far as in in this area? Yeah, there's, again, I don't know where you're bound geographically, but yes, Anthony's right. There's a 111 million different graduate programs in counseling and psychology. What do you want to do, Lori? I want to counsel young adults at risk. Okay. And so you want to get a LPC, a professional counseling license or an MFT license or something like that and help young people, right? Which is noble and wonderful. I love it.

And I want to give you this silver lining or this light at the end of the tunnel. My mom did not go to school in her younger years. Her first community college class was at the age of 42. And she took another community college class the next semester, then another one the next semester. And she graduated with her PhD at 58, I believe, 57, 58. And she was tenured at 63. And now she's 70 years old and she's a department chair at a university. So i want to encourage you to um keep going follow your dreams do the things that you want to do but as anthony said man 25 000 bucks a year for a graduate counseling program is a lot of money

and i want to back out um real quick you're gonna have to probably get somebody to walk alongside you, Lori. Okay? You have come into some money out of an estranged relationship, and this money is going to feel different to you. This $200,000 is going to vacillate between it feels really great, and it's going to feel yuck, and it's going to feel weird. And depending on what kind of guilt or what kind of shame or what kind of anger whatever came about with this estranged relationship with your folks you're going to have to navigate that in a careful way and i'm going to recommend you get a counselor you get somebody a friend somebody from church maybe you can be vulnerable with that that will walk alongside you as you spend this

money because it's gonna take on a a life of its own, a character of its own, and it's going to have a weight to it that most grieving folks who are just dealing with, hey, my parents just passed away. We had a great relationship. They left me $200,000. You're going to have a different situation here. And so I want you to own the guilt, own that transition, and know that it's just going to be a little bit different than folks. And again, I don't want to be ugly, but you've got an estranged relationship with your parents. You've got a divorce that you haven't cleared up financially. You've got medical debt and collections. You're going to grad school at 48. That tells me that you've got an opportunity to say, you know what, for the back half of my life, I'm going to do things differently. I'm going to

hit reboot. I'm going to hit reset. I got 200 grand. I'm going to clear up all my debts. I'm going to pay for my college in cash. I'm going to get a retirement going and I'm going to live the last half of my life with joy and optimism moving forward. The key thing here, Lori, is you have to train yourself to be a good steward. You're not going to go backwards. You're going to go forward. Use this money to do the right thing and to better your life and to make your parents proud of you. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. Going out to Atlantic City. We're going to have a conversation there with Deborah. Deborah, good afternoon.

How can Dr. D and I help? Good afternoon. Thank you so much for having me. I am looking for how to stay motivated in the midst of Baby Step 2. So

I've paid off $80,000. I have another $90,000. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You can't fly by that. You paid off $80,000. I have another $90,000 to go. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You can't fly by that. You paid off how much again? Hello? Can you hear me?

Yeah, I can hear you now. $80,000? Yes. And how much do you have left? I have $90,000? Yes. And how much do you have left? I have 90 more to go. Okay. All right. And that doesn't include my mortgage.

Okay. Let's not worry about your mortgage right now. Talk to us. Yeah. So I just need, how do I stay motivated? You know, I was doing a little side hustle this summer. I was doing that, but that got a little dangerous. And I said, I can't put myself up like that.

You know, I was doing a little delivering food. Okay. And my last delivery, literally, as I'm coming down the street, a SWAT team is approaching the house I'm going to deliver to. Yeah. Wow. Hey, that's a good story right there, Debra. How long did it take you to pay off that $80,000?

Oh, gosh. I can't really. I don't really know. Like six months or eight years? What do you think? More like probably six years. Okay. All right. months or eight years what do you think uh more like probably six years okay all right yeah um so you know i have my head down i'm doing as much as i can do yeah you're doing what you should be doing let me ask you this question why do you want to become debt free I think that I'll be able to do more for other people.

I mean, I serve and I give, but I feel like I'll be able to serve and give more. And I also always had a desire to be an entrepreneur. So I would like to pursue that dream. You just gave me your motivation problem right there. Because Anthony asked you a simple question of why do you want to be debt free? And your response was, well, I think that dot, dot, dot. So let me ask you this question. I agree with him.

Why do you want to serve and give more? It brings me joy. Why does that bring you joy? I like helping people. I like seeing other people win. So I like encouraging people. I like helping people. I like seeing other people win. So I like encouraging people. I like motivating people.

Do you see what we're doing here? We're asking you questions to go deep. Because you can't get motivation from a surface answer. When you feel like giving up, oh, I want to be debt free or... Because, let me see. Well, I want to be an entrepreneur. Well, oh, I want to be debt free or because, let me see, well, I want to be an entrepreneur. Well, why do you want to be an entrepreneur? Then when you answer that question, well, why do you want that? You see, for me, what gave me the motivation to not just

get out of debt? Let me reveal myself to you on this show. I purchased my dream car maybe about what, four or five months ago. I purchased a BMW 750i, I paid for it cash. That was my dream car maybe about what four or five months ago I purchased a BMW 750i I paid for it cash that was my dream car um I took it back I took it back Debra let me tell you why it's because my parents didn't have a wedding when they got married my parents never took their kids out on a vacation we never had a family vacation um my mom didn't get her wedding ring until she was three years into into the marriage. You know why? What motivated me was I want to be able to take my kids to Israel. I want to be able to take my family out of the country every year. I want to be able to leave them with wealth. And so I took my BMW back because I switched up and made a wealth move

because of the deep why on the inside of me. So you have to figure out, you have the practical, you're doing the baby steps. Now what you're missing is what is that deep why? If I was to keep talking about my why, I would cry on this show because that motivates me every single day to get up every single morning to do what I do every single day to help people. Because helping you all helps me get closer to my deep down vision. What is that thing that when you think about it, you get fired up, you start crying, you get emotional, and that $90,000 looks like it's nothing. Because every time you're making a payment payment every time you're dumping towards it you're getting closer and closer and closer to your why

you don't have time to say well I think no you need to be able to say this is what and this is why I'm going to bust my butt every single day to get closer to my goals we can't help you with that on this show all we can do is inspire it our friend chris

hogan says you got a dream in hd i say um something similar which is you gotta you gotta dream in a picture so my my challenge to you deborah is to get this evening get with a loved one get with a friend get with somebody that you trust, you can be vulnerable with. And I don't want you to use words like, hey, I think I want to do this. I want you to draw a picture. I want you to draw a picture of you in five years, in two years, in one year. You are debt-free, and what is around you? Who is around you?

Who are you handing money to to help? Who are you helping feed? Because that seems to be in your heart what does your house look like what does your neighborhood look like what are your friends what are you all laughing sitting around table i want you to paint a picture of what that's going to look like anthony has a picture in his head of two knucklehead little anthony looking boys getting on a plane to go to Israel. Right. And he's got bags with him. He's got a vivid picture of what that's going to look like. Deborah, when I was getting out of debt, you know what I wanted more than anything? A full night's sleep. I had this dream of getting out of bed and on a Saturday morning,

just feeling light and feeling free, feeling like nobody didn't own me. And so it was a very tangible, real thing for me. And so you cannot, you can't go anywhere unless you know exactly where you're going. And, you know, when you talk about drawing pictures, man, you're so into it. You're so right. If you walk into my office right now, it's pictures. Like stick figures.

Me, wife, two, three kids, home, Israel, dream car, kids smiling, kids playing golf because I like golf. Hopefully they'll pick up golf. I hope they don't, but go ahead. But it's like I wake up every single day and I pray over that picture.

When I look at that, that's not just my why. It's I want to be able to provide for them. To this day at 36 years old, I have not been to Disneyland. I have not been to Disneyland.

I have not been to Disney World. And I will not go to neither one of those places until I take my kids there because my family couldn't afford to take us there. To this day, there are certain things that I have not been able to do because my parents couldn't do it. I had the hardest working parents because they were wanting to provide. And I'm like, yo, I want to switch up. So now what I'm doing is I'm positioning myself at the age of 36. I got rid of assets that were depreciating. So in the next two years, I can buy something that turns into seven figure assets that are appreciating because I want to provide for my family the way that my family could not provide

for me i wanted to stop with me and from my kids from my siblings and our kids on we're changing the way our family does things that's my why and that starts with a clear crystal clear not i just you don't want to get out of debt. Yes. I just want to run a marathon. I just want to lose some weight. Yes. That's just not how it works. No. You've got to have it ironed out, right?

You have to, man. You know, America, if you're listening to this right now, I'm sorry that we went off on this whole tangent here, but. I'm not. You know why? Because we speak in words in words we think in pictures man and we say hey I just want to be healthier

if you don't define what healthier is you're not going to get there I just want to I want to be have more money if you don't know where you're going you're going to end up somewhere but it's not going to be where you want to be I want to encourage you tonight you know if you don't know what your deep why is spend some time with why is spend some time

with your spouse spend some time with yourself tonight cut off the lights cut off the phone lock the doors and dream and whatever you dream paint the picture i promise you when you wake up saturday morning you're gonna be a different individual Thank you. today's scripture is second peter 121 for no prophecy was ever produced by the will of man but men spoke from god as they were carried along by the holy spirit the quote of the day is from Brian Tracy. He says, followers think and talk about their problems. Leaders think and talk about the solutions. Now folks,

you guys, let's be real. These last six months have been rough. Crazy time! It's been rough. It's been confusing. And I'm pretty sure your emergency fund may be getting low you know let's just be honest but i want you to hear me right now i'm gonna say this loud and very clear no matter what happens i do not want you to touch your 401k i do

not want you to touch your roth ira i do not want you to touch your future okay if you have money in there i do not want you to touch it yes the government did pass a stimulus bill in march which lowered the 401k early withdrawal penalties i don't care still do not touch it i know it's getting hard get another job i know what's going on. OK, but I do not want you to touch your future. But if you already withdrawn from your 401k, you can still put yourself on the right track for retirement. Your first step is to find a financial advisor who isn't afraid to tell you the hard truth, the real truth, and nothing but the truth about your decisions. Someone like who I look into, we call them the SmartVestor pros.

I want you to go to DaveRamsey.com forward slash SmartVestor, and we'll help you find a financial advisor in your area that you can sit down with, have lunch with, get some coffee with, and dream with, and get yourself yourself if you've already pulled from your 401k get you back on the right track but this is not just for the people who pull it from it this is from people who just want to start the process you know i have a smart investor pro my financial advisor is really helping me out right now uh with uh transitioning uh to coming from my my life now to where i dream big man i dream big and um he was like all right this is what you got to do here's what you need

to invest in here's here's the income like i do money every single day but even i still have a financial advisor well yeah you know dave ramseysey is the guru around money, but even he still has a financial advisor. And so my financial advisor just really gave me some good wisdom. So I don't care how smart you are. Billionaires have financial advisors. Check them out. DaveRamsey.com forward slash smart investor. DaveRamsey.com forward slash Smart Vestor. And I promise you right now, you will be happy that you made this decision. I was going to tell you, Anthony, speaking of help and making the call, I got some exciting news, man. What kind of news?

We have started recording the John Deloney show. Are you serious? Yep. It's going to be launched in a couple of weeks. Okay. And we're taking calls. Are you? And it is exciting and it's fun. I want to put the call out.

If you are interested in being on the John Deloney Show, we're talking about relationships, mental health. We're talking about parenting kids. What do you do with that crazy neighbor? What do you do when your coworker sits by you at the same desk and just nods when you're talking? Right? Like me right now. Like you right now.

Email me. AskJohn at RamseySolutions.com. That's AskJohn at RamseySolutions.com. Let me know what's going on. Leave a number where Kelly can reach you, and we will call you back, and we will schedule you in to be on the show. It's exciting times, man. Man, I absolutely love it. Exciting times.

Man, I really do. Let's take one more call before we get off the show today. Let's go out to Orlando and have a conversation here with Daniel. Daniel, good afternoon. How can Dr. D and I help you quickly? Hello, guys. I hope you're having a great day. Thank you so much for taking my call.

Yeah. You too, Daniel. How can we serve? So I'm trying to see if I can get some guidance from Dr. Deloney. My brother has been going through some mentally unstable times recently. The most recent one, he was a bit proactive because he got aggressive at the house. And from what I've done research on, I think he might have paranoia. So I really wanted to see what's your advice on helping someone that their mental disease or disorder itself prevents them from trusting other people.

How do you help someone like that? And do you have, and do you suggest that maybe in my example, should I like leave my house and move out if I don't feel safe? Because I want to help my brother, but sometimes I don't feel safe living with him. What's your advice? Yeah, that's a great question, man. Thank you so much. So there's, there's, I'm going to parse through this question into a couple of different areas. First and foremost, your safety is always paramount so if somebody gets aggressive somebody uh makes you feel unsafe then you call the police there's just no ifs ands or buts of that you call the police if it's a loved one you call the police if it's

a stranger right um paranoia or schizophrenia or any other of the of the derivatives there can be a mental illness sometime it can be people have been watching too much internet sometimes and buying into all kinds of conspiracy theories. It could be because they've had 17 Monster Energy drinks or different energy drinks, and they haven't slept, and they haven't eaten. And so it's a wide range. And so somebody who you love, who is violent, somebody who you love who thinks people are watching them, they're always checking the blinds, they're going outside, they're running around the neighborhood, those kind of things.

I'm going to recommend that you do whatever you can to get them in to go see a doctor. Now, that's hard with somebody who is struggling with paranoia because doctors sometimes are part of the problem, right? They don't want to get diagnosed. They don't want to be seen. They don't want to be heard. And so that is challenging. The best thing to do when somebody is expressing significant, what you would say is clinical, right? And you're not gonna be able to make that diagnosis. Only a doctor is or a psychiatrist is, but you're going to want to get them in to see, to be professionally evaluated. The challenging, if it's truly schizophrenia, if it's truly pathological paranoia,

that's a tough road to hoe. It's tough to be in a relationship and to love somebody when you watch them struggling with that particular psychological challenge. So get them in to see somebody. Keep yourself safe and rally other family members. Often folks who are struggling from different types of paranoia have one or two people that they will trust and they may latch on to. But that's a challenging situation, Daniel. But thanks for the call, man.

Yeah, thanks so much for the call, man. Hey, America. One thing that I love doing is I'm very active on my Instagram. You are, man. I'm very active on my Instagram. I'm always answering questions. I love – I don't have active on my Instagram. You are, man. I'm very active on my Instagram. I'm always answering questions. I love I don't have anybody running my Instagram.

So if you want to follow me, it's at Anthony O'Neill. You can DM me a question. I try to get to them as quickly as possible. But I have a question here that I want to answer for you. So again, you can go to Anthony O'Neill at Anthony O'Neill on Instagram. But Alondra says, I'm on baby step step number two i know you say to tithe however my mom has been helping me out

because i owe more than i make each month she basically pays the majority of my rent my mom has forbidden me to tithe what she says it is her money and that I can't afford to tithe right now she's even mentioned cutting me off if I do she's been a huge help to me but I don't know what to do I want to tithe but I'm torn what should I do

this is a good question this is a this is a tough question because there's a spiritual answer then there is a tough question because there is a spiritual answer. Then there is a she's living at her mom's house answer. This is not your money answer, right? Right, right, right, right, right. So here's the thing.

Tithe on the money that you make. So if you have any kind of income you tithe on that money the money that your mom makes that your mom gives to you you be obedient to that and that that's that's her helping you out that's not you don't have to tithe off of that but if you're making a hundred dollars from a job then you're giving ten dollars off of that hundred dollars if your mom gives you a hundred dollars to help with your bills you're you're you're not paying tithe off the debt but here's the bigger issue you're living above your means we have to figure out how to get your means uh your lifestyle below that and get your income up so tithe off of your money uh but do not tithe

off of your mother's but if you tithe off of your mother's. But if you have any more questions, America, shoot me a DM or follow me on Instagram at Anthony O'Neill. Dr. D, thank you so much, man. It's always a pleasure,

bro. And also with you. Oh man. I want to thank our producer, James Chow, who's not here today and our social producer, Kelly Daniel, the one and only.

Remember the caliber of your financial future will be determined by the decisions we all make today. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. Hey, it's Kelly, associate producer and phone screener for The Dave Ramsey Show. If you would like to do your debt-free scream live on the show, make sure you visit DaveRamsey.com slash show and register. We would love for you to come to Nashville and tell Dave your story.