The Ramsey Show - App - My Mom Wants More Than Her Fair Share (Hour 3)

Episode Date: March 9, 2021

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live from the headquarters of ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's The Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Thank you for joining us, America. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Anthony O'Neill, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Again, the number 888-825-5225. Harper's in Fredericksburg, Virginia.

Hey, Harper, how are you? Doing well. How are you all doing today? Better than I deserve. How can we help? So, I just started Baby two uh not too long ago and of course like everyone else before i discovered dave you know you do everything wrong so trying to undo some of the wrongness um i have two cars uh one is actually um well it's a forerunner so a 4Runner. So, my question is, should I sell the 4Runner in order to expedite my baby step 2 efforts?

Are you married? No. Why do you have two cars? Because I don't want to drive the 4Runner an hour and a half to work one way every day. What's your other car? It's a GTI, Volkswagen GTI.ti yeah sell the forerunner

all right sell it can't drive it anyway you only drive one car at a time you're one person yeah and harper here's why i say that you know because i had two cars and i asked you this yeah i did and i sold it because i was like i'm single why do i have two cars you know and i'm like that's a waste of money waste of insurance waste of gas um so i sold one of them um and uh just recently traded one traded the other one in i only need one car so sell it yeah i'm easy enough and the other thing is here's the thing you know cars are something about them. The price is so big, and they physically take up a lot of space. Sure do.

And so we have this tendency, because of those two things, to emotionally feel like they're forever. It's a stupid car. I mean, it's a forerunner. They're everywhere. You can get you another one. If you want to trade out of the Volkswagen later, get you a forerunner. They're everywhere. Yeah. You can get you another one. If you want to trade out of the Volkswagen later, get you a forerunner. You can. Absolutely.

After you get out of debt and you got a big pile of money and you get something else you want to drive and wear out, whatever you're driving, you're wearing out with that commute. Yeah. But, you know, and after you're out of debt, if you want to buy a car and get rid of it, you know. But it just occurred to me, like, I bought a truck a while back that I screwed up on. It had a huge engine and it was like 600, i it had a huge engine it was like six seven hundred horsepower or something it was a beautiful truck too it was a beast yeah and but it it i had the

raptor before and the thing rode like crap and the raptor rides good it's got that suspension on it and so it's got a good like a car ride almost to it and my wife would get in that thing and of course it's loud i'm a redneck truck right and? And so she's like, yeah, this is great. Big old loud muffler, rides like I'm in a dadgum wheelbarrow. Has no shocks or anything. I'm not going to dinner in this, no. And so, you know, but I felt like I was stuck in it or something. And I know better.

And then I thought one day, that's dumb. I just sell the truck. It's just a truck. Get you another one. Dave. Just sell the truck. So I sold the truck, got a Raptor. And that's dumb i just sell the truck it's just a truck get you another one dave that's just sell the truck since i sold the truck got a raptor and that's what i did you know i had the bmw 750 and then i had my acra and i just woke up one day i was like why do i have two cars like why and i'm only driving one i'm like just i still can't drive to it once it's physically impossible yeah so um

yeah i that's the thing you can get you another one and car my point of the whole thing is we all do this including me including anthony yes cars take up a lot of emotional space because they're physically large and there's a lot of money and um and we tend to feel like they're forever yeah and it's a forerunner crap you can get seven of them later yeah it's not a big deal. Yeah, I would sell it. Good question, though. Really good question because it brings up a good discussion. Eugene is with us in Edmonton, Alberta. Hi, Eugene. How are you?

Hi, Dave and Anthony. Thanks for taking my call, guys. Sure. What's up? So I've got a quick question. My employer doesn't have a program set up where they will match any sort of retirement contributions into my account. Is that customary in Canada? I don't know. You got it, yeah.

It is customary, because about 80% of the companies in the States do it. About 20% don't. So yours is kind of like that then, huh? Correct. So what I'm trying to determine is if I still make those contributions or if I find an account that's similar to what you have known as a Roth IRA instead. If Canada has that, I would do a Roth before I would do a non-matching pre-tax. Yes. Okay. Because tax-free will outperform a non-matching pre-tax.

But if you've got a match and you take up to the match, you have a 100% rate of return on your money before you start. You can afford the taxes. Okay. Because you're going to net out higher than even tax-free would, net of net of net of taxes. But I don't know the Canadian programs well enough to, you know, instantaneously answer this.

But in the States, what we tell folks is rock, paper, scissors. It is match beats roth beats traditional so the best thing is a match up to the match the next best thing is a roth and the next best thing is a traditional and if you've got similar programs eugene you can you can play into that because anthony when you got two million dollars in your account and it's taxable or it's not. Yeah. That's a big deal. Big deal. Huge deal.

The taxes on $2 million keep you awake at night. Absolutely. Absolutely. So the Roth in the States is just a mammoth tool. It is a beautiful thing. Andre is in Detroit, Michigan. Hey, Andre, how are you? Hey, Dave and Anthony. Thanks for taking my call. Hey, no, man. Thanks for calling in. How can we help? So I'm on baby steps four, five, and six. I've been out of college for just over a year. And back then, a lot of professors would give me the advice of saying,

after college, live like a college student for the next two years or so and just save as much money as you can. And so I'm kind of wondering if it's time for me to let up the gas. Andre, here's my thing. Now, Dave may disagree with me on this one. It's going to be okay. But me and Dave just argue back and forth on this one.

You're in your 20s. You need to stay gazelle intense. I think in your 20s, go hard still still still in baby steps four five and six uh follow the baby steps as far as in um invest as much as you can uh get an extra job if you can i like in the 20s just to work hard but still follow the baby steps four five and six you're shaking your head dave well you work hard um i mean yes hard work's not a bad thing right i don't disagree with that uh but the um you know what we tell folks is regardless of age is baby steps one through three is gazelle intense that's scorched earth

you don't go out to eat you take six extra jobs the kids are up for sale i mean every everything's the dog's up for sale the The cat's on Craigslist. Everything's moving. We're getting out of debt. Yeah. And we're not doing, we're not going on vacation. We're broke and in debt. You're not there anymore.

Right. Once you get that emergency fund in place and you move on to 456, which is where you are, Andre, we tell you to not, gazelle intensity in the first sections intentionality in the second in the second section so if you want to work extra pile up some cash because anthony's got some big financial goals personally i don't know what they are and so he's he's busting it to hit some of those things that's cool that's different than the desperation of getting out of debt that's an intentionality so you could turn up the heat the way he's talking about as an act of intentionality, but we don't require the same level of scorched earth gazelle intensity in 4-5-6. Hey, good question, man. Great question.

This is The Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. Thanks for joining us, America. Anthony O'Neill, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Open phones to 888-825-5225. Katie is in Kodiak, Alaska. Hi, Katie. How are you? Hey, Dave. I'm great. How are you? Better than I deserve. How can we help? So here's the story.

My husband and I, we've done your program twice now. We have zero debt. We currently live on our land in a trailer that we paid for, so we have no debt. We have our emergency fund. We have our three to six months, and we've been investing in our IRAs, each of us, the last year. So my question is, we're going to build our future home on this property. Great. I'm wondering how to go about that.

If we should, in Kodiak, I mean anywhere, it's expensive, really expensive. We're thinking of doing it in like phases, saving and doing it that way. So I have a few questions, but I guess the first one would be should we're going to start saving to build our home should we do it in an investment account or savings account would be one question and then in general my other question for you is like what do you think about taking out a loan for building our home because i mean that's a lot of money to obviously to build a home what's that's a lot of money, obviously, to build a home. What's a lot of money? Tell me how much. Here, I would say an average, like, decent home is $350,000, $400,000.

I mean, if we want, like, a nice, you know, our future home, like retirement home type And what's your household income? So we take home, we give ourselves $5,000 a month, so $60,000 a year right now. My husband has his own business, so there's a wiggle room there, and he's been netting about $200,000. That's your taxable income is $200,000? Yes. Okay. Well, what you take home out of the business doesn't matter.

What you have to work with is $200,000. Right. To do a $400,000. I mean, that's like he has one employee. That's his expenses. No, it's not his taxable income then. Yeah. After expenses is not taxable income.

You're talking about his gross revenue is $200,000? Oh, yes. I'm sorry. His gross, yeah. What did you pay taxes on last year um it was i don't have the exact number but he made around 200 000 total and we we give ourselves no we didn't he didn't make 200 000 he brought in 200 000 gross revenues and he if he had 201 000 in expenses, he made nothing. Oh, okay. I guess I need to ask him more.

So here's how it works. The business brings in money minus his expenses. His gross minus his expenses equals net profit. Profit is what I'm asking about. And it sounds like you're pulling $60 out of the profit to come home, but he's probably making more than $60,000, but he's not making $200,000 because $200,000 sounds like his top line is gross revenues. Oh, okay.

Great. Okay. And so if you're making $100,000, you might can afford a $400,000 house, but otherwise you can't. It doesn't matter what it costs there. What matters is what you can afford. Right. You can't spend money that you don't have just because that's what it costs.

Otherwise, you could go buy a Bentley. Right. So, I mean, how should we save for this, I guess? What would you do where we're at? I mean, I think it's a simple equation here, Katie. Put it in a savings account, or if you want to put it in a money market account, that's fine. I'm not going to tell you to lock up your money when it comes to saving to build a home.

Don't put it in an investment account. Don't worry about that. I think that's number one. Number two, I would definitely since it sounds like you have two options here. You can save up and build cash. You and your husband just have to sit there

and talk about, hey, is this going to be a five-year journey? And are we okay waiting for five to six years to purchase maybe a $200,000 house? But if you don't, then the only thing that we're going to tell you is if you take out a mortgage, you need to put down at least 20% and finance it for 15 years with a fixed rate. Yeah. So you have two options there. And I don't think you're building a $400,000 house with your income. Right. It doesn't sound like, anyway.

I don't know what your net profit is on that $200,000 you've got coming in, but it sounds like it's not the net profit. Right. So the question you need to ask him is, what is our net profit, which is also what your taxable income is, because that's all they're going to use is your tax return to qualify you for whatever mortgage you get. It'll be a construction loan that converts to a permanent mortgage, a regular mortgage after the construction project is completed.

But all of that will be approved based not on what you think you make, not on what you wished you make, not on what you put in your pocket but don't report illegally under the table, but what your tax return says. Yes. That's what they're going to, but what your tax return says. Yes. That's what they're going to use is your income tax return. What did you pay taxes on it? If you didn't pay taxes on it, it is not income for purposes of this mathematical formula that the mortgage company is going to use because they can't count it and go, oh, well, what about depreciation? Listen, if you paid taxes on it, then you can count it. If you didn't pay taxes on it, you can't count it and go, oh, well, what about depreciation? Listen, if you pay taxes on it, then you can count it. If you didn't pay taxes on it, you can't count it.

It's that simple. And so I'm going to guess and say if he's pulling 60 out, he may be rolling some of the profits back into the business. So we'll give it the benefit of the doubt and say you're probably making 100. That's my guess. Probably not far off of that. It might be 110. It might be 90. But it's It might be $90,000. But it's going to be somewhere in that general vicinity.

I don't think he's only making $60,000, and I also don't think he's making $200,000 based on this discussion. So $400,000 is probably out of reach. So you're going to save up a good down payment, like Anthony said, and I just use a money market account, nothing fancy, and then get a construction loan converting it to a permanent where your payment is no more than a fourth of your take-home pay. Good question.

Thank you for joining us. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Melissa is in Gainesville, Florida. Hi, Melissa. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave. Thank you. I'm saving up cash to buy a home in cash. And I opened a second bank account,

a high yield interest savings account. And when I got to $250,000, I realized I would no longer be FDIC insured. So I opened a third bank account to continue saving cash. And my question is, when you're actually buying larger properties and cash especially if i want to start investing in real estate in the future where do you actually keep all of this money to keep it fdic insured and safe uh you don't my my money that i save for real estate is not fdic insured it It's in mutual funds. Okay. I buy just an S&P 500 index fund that I'm going to hold where I'm throwing money to pile it up for real estate,

and I can come back and get it after a year, and I'll have no taxes on the gain, or I'll have a capital gain tax on the gain is all. And if you leave it alone at least a year, it'll save you on taxes, and you'll make more on it than you would in a stupid bank anyway. But FDIC insurance is $250,000 per depositor per bank. If you're married, that's $500,000.

There's two deposits. I'm not married. I'm single. That's fine. Then you can have three banks and have $750,000, but you're still only making one, one and a eighth, or one and a quarter or something on your money over there. And so if you want it to be super safe like that, you're surrendering any rates of return. But I don't think anything at all about throwing a million dollars into an S&P 500.

That's a very stable account. It's as stable as the American economy is. It could go down in value, but the chances of me losing it all is almost zero. If the S&P 500 becomes worth zero, the United States of America has collapsed. Mathematically, it is so. That means the top 500 largest companies on the stock market are worth zero. In order for all of them to be worth zero that means the united states is gone there was an atomic bomb was dropped or something or china took over or whatever crazy scenario you could come up with so i'm not the chances i'm not worried about that now can that s&p 500 could i put in a million dollars

or a hundred thousand dollars and then come back four months later and it'd be worth 96 000 yeah i could lose three or four thousand dollars on the hundred grand i could uh but i mean but i'm not gonna i'm not worth the fdic insurance is in the event of a bank failure an individual bank could fail an individual mutual fund could fail but it's very unlikely an individual stock investment really could fail and be worth zero that's very high likelihood a much more high likelihood than anything we're talking about. But, yeah, if you want spreader out across banks, you can do that. I don't.

I don't fool with it. I just dump it into an S&P 500. This is The Ramsey Show. Thank you. In the lobby of Ramsey Solutions on the debt free stage, Julian and Trace are with us. Hey guys, welcome. Hi Dave, hi Anthony. Glad to be here. What's up? How are y'all?

Good to have you guys. And where do you live? Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Oh, well welcome to Anthony. Glad to be here. What's up? How are y'all? Good to have you guys. And where do you live? Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Oh, well, welcome to Nashville. Glad to be here. Good to have you. And how much debt have you paid off? $27,286.01.

I love it. Good for you. Every dollar and every cent counts. Every penny. And how long did this take you? Seven months. Good. And your range of income during that time?

$85,000 to about $95,000. Cool. What kind of debt was the $27,000? Majority of my student loans and then his truck payment as well. Okay, cool. Yeah. So how long have you two been married? Less than a year, actually. Coming up on a year.

Yeah, we were engaged whenever we started taking FPU, and then we got married in the process and just worked as a team and just tackled it. Just said boom. Yeah, he married into the debt, so sorry. He had a car payment. Yeah, yeah, true, true. I was about to say, wait a minute. You had education, he had the entertainment.

That's right, that's right. So the Financial Peace University, before you're married, how does that happen? Well, so we were talking about it on the drive here, just kind of talking about what was our aha moment. Like, I've had it. And it was like one day at work, I was super stressed out. And it was one of those days where I went to his office and I was just crying. And I'm just like, I don't love the role that I'm doing at work and like we got all these bills to pay and everything I just I don't know what to do and um you know a couple weeks before that I was talking to a girl I work

with um her name's uh Katie Cruz hi Jeff and Katie there are um they were our like biggest cheerleaders they're awesome people um but um her and I were talking about I don't even know how we got on the topic of like credit cards and everything and I just gotten about, I don't even know how we got on the topic of like credit cards and everything, and I had just gotten one that I was super pumped about, and she said something about, and I was like, oh, I'll only use it in case of emergency, and she was just like, eh, there's a better way, and she started telling me all about Dave Ramsey

and everything. Turns out her and her husband were FPU coordinators. Ah. Yeah, so they encouraged us to come take the class, and then so in that aha moment. I sucked you into the car. Yeah, in the vortex, absolutely. Oh. Yeah. So they encouraged us to come take the class. And then so in that aha. They sucked you into the cult. Oh, yeah. Yeah, in the vortex.

Absolutely. That's it. I love it. So whenever I had that like aha moment or just that like overwhelming sense of just stress, I went over to his work and he told me, he was just like, okay, would you feel better if we took FPU? And I was just like, yes, 1000%. Yes, absolutely.

And so like I signed us up that night and we started a few weeks later. Best decision we ever made. For sure. Just like that. And in the process the wedding happens and then you come home from the honeymoon you completely finish this up. First order of business. Well kind of sort of so we got engaged and

we actually had an April of 2020 wedding planned. Oh. man. But we were kind of impatient, and we kind of marched to the beat of our own drum. So we actually eloped back in November of last year. Yes. Thank you. Mainly for tax purposes and stuff, but honestly, it was the best thing.

I mean, God works in mysterious ways, for sure. Yeah, it turns out to have been a genius, prophetic move. Exactly, yeah. Wow. And the money that we didn't have to spend. mysterious ways for sure yeah it turns out to have been a genius prophetic move exactly yeah wow so and the money that we because you wouldn't want to be married in the year 2020 right exactly we were and like my mindset was i'm like okay like if we get married in 2020 it'll be really easy to remember anniversaries if it's like 2036 then you know we'll be married 16 years but i'm so happy we got got it done in. I think you can deduct a one. Yeah, exactly.

Easy math. Easy. Totally. 16 minus one. Okay. Yeah, good. Yeah, for sure. Good for you guys.

Thank you. So along this journey, what would you say was the hardest thing over the seven months? I would say giving up the convenience of going out to eat, cooking every day. You know, sometimes it got tough. Sometimes we wanted to break down, go spend some money at the restaurant, just kind of kick back and enjoy it. But, you know, we just stuck to our guns and did the grilled cheese and ramen noodle nights. Ramen noodles. That was a big staple for us.

I know Davey talked about like tuna fish or something was your like poor people food. Like ramen noodles and grilled cheese was ours. And so like I don't, I don't, don't put it in my face. So gourmet grilled cheese does not appeal to you.

If it's your broke people food, you can't do enough with it for it to not be broke people food. Exactly. There's no tuna fish on this planet cool enough to make me want to eat it.

Exactly. If you smell tuna fish, my net worth goes down. So I have to ask you, how old are you two? I'm 26. 34. 34,, my net worth goes down. So I have to ask you, how old are you two? I'm 26. 34. 34, 26.

Young people. Yeah. Millennials. Well done. I was telling Dave before y'all came on, I said, I just love seeing young people get on the stage. I love seeing all people, but I just love seeing young people. So speak to that young person who's watching you right now saying, you know what? I want to be debt free, but I'm cool. I'll do it later on. Why should they watching you right now saying you know what um i want to be debt free but i'm

cool i'll do it later on why should they attack it right now well i mean at least for me and you know for the single people like get your accountability partner but for the couples and everything just work as a team like you know trace and i we we don't fight at all but before we got engaged before we got married any of our little like spats that we had were always money related and it was like oh well he's picking up the bill at the grocery store I'm picking up the bill at the restaurant and everything whereas whenever we came together as a team as a unit then that's whenever we really saw the success happening um but as far as like just don't putting like don't put it off, the end goal is baby step seven. Why would you want to just prolong that?

So just get it done and go gazelle in tens, get it done in seven months or however long it takes. Grow together and dream together. That's right. Dream together for sure. What do you tell people the key to getting out of debt is? I would say budget. Stick to the budget. Know where all your money is going.

That was the first thing we noticed was most of our money was going out to eat. We spent like $1,200 in eating out the month before we started taking FPU. $1,200? Yeah. That's basically our rent payment that we paid in grocery. And you ate it? Ate it, yes. Yes.

It was ridiculous. Now, Dave, I got to call this out. They weren't just eating it. They were drinking it, too. Just a little bit. Not too much. There's something going on there. Wow.

That's very cool. Very cool. Yeah. Yeah, that's, I remember 100 years ago when I was doing FPU, I was teaching. I dropped by a class, and the guy did his budget, and he goes, yeah, we spent $1,250 eating out last month, country boy and he's like I figured out where our retirement's going we've been eating it

to our bellies in that belly it's easy to do it's easy to do you know I'm so proud of y'all and your biggest cheerleaders were your buddies and who else our families yeah

my sister and brother-in-law they um they did fpu or not fpu but they followed your program you know they read the book and just i remember at one point i was in college and i need to take a summer class and um you know i called my sister and i was really stressed and it was like 500 bucks or something and i didn't have that and so I was actually looking at like a credit union or like a payday loan or something like that and then she was just like Jillian do not do that like I will pay for the class for you and everything and then just like moments like that now that we've taken it and learned the principles I realize I'm like wow like they were doing Dave's principles and I didn't even know it and they're like they're almost a baby step seven like they're looking to pay off their house in like two years and then just so seeing them and like they're just

their goals for us and it's just yeah just our family and you can reach over and pay your little sisters 500 buck tuition yeah yeah when you're not broke and you're not broke yeah for sure that's pretty cool yeah that's very cool. That's a great testimony to keep you. You look back on that and you go, that's something I want to be. Totally. I want to live like no one else so later I can live and give like no one else. That's the dream. That's the goal for sure.

Well done. Very, very proud of you guys. Congratulations. You rock stars. Got a copy of Chris Hogan's book for you, of course. Every Day Millionaires. You're going to be one before you know it at this rate. Well done.

All right, Jillian and Trace, Baton Rouge, Louisiana, $27,000 paid off in seven months, making $85,000 to $95,000. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. Three, two, one. We're debt-free! Yeah! This is how it's done.

Wow. Very, very cool. Man. I like it. I like it. They got a great start. Yeah. One year in, they're debt free.

I mean, 26 years old, 34 year old. Their future is so bright. Yeah. really sharp young couple so i mean anthony and i get to meet the millennials like that all over the place so those of you that always want to run down millennials you'll have to get through us because we think the millennial generation is incredible absolutely dave there's some dead beats but there's dead beats in the boomers too, too. Absolutely. So, you know, there are these young people like this right there. It gives you hope. Yes. This country's going to be okay.

Yes. We're going to be all right, you guys. We're going to be all right. This is The Ramsey Show. Thank you. our scripture of the day first peter five two and three shepherd the flock of god that is among you exercising oversight not under compulsion but willingly as god would have you, not for shameful gain, but eagerly, not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock. Max Licato says a man who wants to lead the orchestra must turn his back on the crowd. There you go.

Kayla is with us. Kayla is in Salem, Oregon. Hi, Kayla. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. How can I serve for you? Better thansey Show. How's it going for you? Better than I deserve. How can Anthony and I help? So I'm in a little bit of a predicament.

So about three years ago, I bought a duplex with my mom. The whole goal was to fix it up, keep it for a few years, live there, obviously, and then turn around and sell it. Initially, it was, we went into it to split it 50-50 and then just walk away, you know, with some cash to go out on our own and start a lot of new buyers and so on and so forth. So we recently just sold it and now it has kind of blown up a little bit. She has gone back on the whole 50-50 thing, claimed that that was never a deal. And we profited about $115,000, and now she's telling me that I'm only going to get 15 or 20 of that $115,000 that we made up. How is she in control of this?

Is it in her name? No, sir. We went into it, I guess, you know, together. Both of our names are in the law. Then she doesn't get to decide. Yeah. Yeah, that's kind of, it's been a difficult situation so why we initially went into it was because she went through a divorce um and so she couldn't afford to buy a house by herself that's not got anything to do with this yeah yeah i guess

yeah so is your name on the deed is your name on the deed? Is your name on the deed? Yes, sir. Are there any written documentations as to this partnership that you entered into with your mother? No, unfortunately not. Yeah, which is why you don't do partnerships and why you don't do partnerships with family. Amen. And you don't do them unless they're all in writing. And even then, when they're in writing, sometimes they blow up on you. Yeah. How old are you?

I'm 24, so I bought it when I was 20. It was in one, right? So, yeah, this was unwise. Obviously, you're realizing that now. So, the trick is this. If the house, has the duplex sold? Yes, sir. It is sold. I actually, I mean, we have the check sitting with us. It's in both of our names.

Oh, good. I haven't had to sit down and have this conversation with her because I'm really not sure, you know, where to push it or where to, I guess, push over the... I mean, I obviously don't want to ruin my relationship with her. Yeah, but if you have to buy a relationship with someone, that's called prostitution. Right. Right. Okay. That's not a real relationship when you have to pay for it. Right.

When you have to pay someone to be your friend, they're not a real friend. Right. When you have to pay someone to be your mom, they're not a real friend. Right. When you have to pay someone to be your mom, they're not a real mom. I'm so sorry. This is so hard for you at 24 years old to face your domineering mother who is a test pilot for a broom factory. This is so hard for you. And I'm trying to, I mean, I'm trying to start my life, my family, and we're trying to buy property and stuff. But in your mind, it is very, very clear that there was a 50-50 promise made.

Yes, sir. And when we improved it, we split everything 50-50 as far as the outside stuff. You paid the taxes. You paid the bills. Everything 50-50. Yes. I paid half of the mortgage every month, everything. That's absolute asinine that she wants more than 50%.

What is your mom's? Why would she? She needs the money for something, doesn't she? Yes. So she, you know, has bought a new truck and we have horses, but she went out and bought a new horse trailer and stuff like that. And so she needs to pay that stuff off in order for herself to go buy a home. Yeah, who's got horses? We have horses? Well, she has horses.

She trains horses. Okay, you don't have partnership in horses with her, too? No, sir. Okay. Okay, so listen, Kayla, gonna this is gonna be a very painful thing for you and it's not your fault okay because you're not going to win there's not going to be a win in this scenario win number way way to lose number one is to do the wrong thing morally and let her get away with this bullying tactic and giving her more than half.

That's way number one out of this. That's not good. That sucks. Way number two is you say, Mom, we paid 50% of the bills. This has been 50%. I'm sorry you thought it was something else. It's not. We are going to the bank together.

We are going to cash this check at the bank, and I'm going to put 50% of it into my account, and i'm going to put 50 of it into my account you're going to put 50 of it into your account if that makes you angry i am so sorry i'm not here to make you angry but we are going to do the deal that we originally promised and guess what she's going to be angry very and that's going to suck yeah because that's just your mom. Yeah. And this is not the first time she's pulled crap like this either, is it? No, she likes to hold a lot of stuff over my head. I mean, one of the things that she merely told me when we talked about this a little bit was that she's taking care of me for the, you know, 18 years.

No, that's her freaking job. She's a mother. I changed your diapers. Oh, you travel agent for a guilt trip. Unbelievable. Yeah. Yeah, this, this, let me, I know why she's divorced. Uh-oh.

Goodness gracious. Oh, my goodness. Calm down, Dave. Calm down. No, man, this, because this is just wrong. I mean, this 24-year-old daughter. Yes, I know. Come on, lady.

Have a, have an ounce of morality. Have an ounce of ethics in your life instead of pulling this crap. So, yeah, Kayla, you've got to be very kind and calm and very strong and just say, Mom, I know you're not going to like this, and I'm sorry. It's not really – I can't affect what you decide. All I can tell you is that we've decided 50%. I've always paid 50% of the bills. We've always known it's 50%, and that's not going to change.

If you want to cash this check, we're going to do it together at the bank, and 50% is going to go in my account, and 50% is going to go in your account. It's not negotiable, Mom. Yeah, not. And be prepared for her to be angry and do her guilt trip dance and all the stuff that she does yeah is there any do you have any siblings or someone who's like in a family that can go and have that conversation with you that can really have both of y'all's back saying this is the right thing to do um no i'm the only i'm only child, but my dad, she just got the work from her second marriage.

So my dad, I mean, we're all on pretty level terms. Yeah, but that ain't going to work. Her ex is not going to make her do the right thing. Yeah, I don't know. It's just a hard question. I don't, I mean, I understand she gives me the trip of like she has to restart. And my boyfriend and I have to do it. No, no, no, no, no.

I don't really care. It's almost like I feel like I have to do it. I don't really care about her problems. Yeah. I don't care about her problems. I have somebody else. And don't allow your mom's problems to become your problems. Exactly.

You know, those are your mom's problems for a reason. As long as you can say, this is an unfair situation for you to be in at 24 years old. I'm so sorry you're there. I'm begging you to do what you know in your heart is the right thing, and to do it with great strength, and with great kindness, and with great courage, and with no expectation of anything from her except a negative result. She's not going to be happy and you know that but if you make her happy you're going to regret it the rest of your life that you caved to this woman that's a bully and it's it's just it's sad that your mom is acting this way i'm so sorry for you but please do the right thing and make her do what she's supposed to do i mean it's just it's so hard

it's so unfair to have to fight that battle when you're 24 years old. It is, Dave. It's just some people's parents, you know. That puts this hour of The Ramsey Show in the books. Thanks to James Childs, our producer, Kelly Daniel, our associate producer and phone screener. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. We'll be back before you know it.

In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace Ramsey Show. Did you know The Ramsey Show is one of the most popular podcasts in the world? Subscribe or follow today wherever you listen to podcasts.