The Ramsey Show - App - My Mortgage Is $18,000 a Month (Hour 2)

Episode Date: October 15, 2020

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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host, Dr. John Deloney. Doc Squared is with us. You got two docs. I like that. So Doc Squared. I can live with that. I like that. So Doc Squared.

I can live with that. I like it. That's pretty good. Yeah. I mean, I don't sit next to people with two PhDs very often, and so I have to make a big deal out of it when I do. He's with me today answering your questions as well. Ramsey Personality, about life and about money. We're here to help you.

Open phones at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. We're going to start off with Kristen in Houston, Texas. Hi, Kristen. How are you? Well, I'm good. I'm so grateful that Dr. John is there, too, because I'm not sure if my question is actually about money or not. It's usually not.

I know, right? I'm worried you're going to think this is a prank call, but it's not. I have a really unique situation with money, which is that I am part of a sibling group. We have a very large trust. It's like a ten-figure trust with assets of around $3 billion. Good lord. Hey, I've been there, Kristen. I've been there.

Yeah, yeah, so relatable. Never. Oh, man. So it's heavily leveraged. My dad ran it. He passed away a few years ago, and he was incredibly aggressive. Just the more debt, the better. It's probably leveraged about 70%. And then a few years before he passed, he wanted the kind of guy who survived from like one deal to the next. And he would have these big windfalls of cash and then it would be gone before it even cleared the bank. Basically the opposite of a Dave.

But he wanted to help us buy a house and he thought, I'm going to take out this loan to do it. And when cash comes in, I'll just pay off their house for them it's not going to matter um so he did a 10-year uh loan with a balloon payment at the end 30-year amortization and six percent interest on your house on our house on a three million dollar loan so wait a minute the the house was in his name the The house was in a company. I mean, nothing is simple, you know, but it's a company that I own the stock option to. Oh, okay. So anyways, then he passed away. He didn't have time to do what he wanted to do and help us pay off our house in cash. So, you know, I feel

so grateful to him. I mean, we're in a very weird situation, but we're like blessed beyond measure. My husband and I are now looking at our finances and we've been working your program. We have no debt. Our income is about $225,000 a year. The payments for our mortgage, which are about $18,000 a month, are paid directly through the trust. And they're paid as advancements against future distributions. So it's our money. I mean, it's coming out of what we would one day conceivably get. But right now the trust is so leveraged that there's not

capital for like big distributions. Anyways, I'm trying to decide, do we sell our house? Do we get out from under this $3 million mortgage payment and have peace of mind? Or I don't, I just, I guess I just don't know what God is asking of us right now because we love our home. The money is conceivably there. And part of me feels like maybe I'm trying to get out of learning the lesson of like staying on a budget and waiting and being patient. I don't know. Any thoughts for me? It's incredibly complicated. That's a mess. Yeah. I know. there's a part of what i'm hearing i think i'm hearing um and you tell me if i'm wrong kristin that they're not only are you wanting to get out of the mortgage you're kind of tired about tired of being on a leash to this

whole mess yeah you'd like to be able to stand back and watch it as a more of a spectator than actually have it hanging over your head is there is that in there yeah i i think in it you know there was a lot of pain of watching my dad the way he handled his finances i mean as you say so often it was his money right we're like immeasurably blessed yeah you're not ungrateful i get that But the bottom line is right now, but today, your home is tied into a convoluted emotional mess. And you kind of would like to be free of that mess. And then if they send you something from the trust fine, if they don't fine, you make $200,000 a year, you're going to be fine. Right, right. But right now, if the trust goes goes sideways your house goes sideways right it feels like you've got that sort of damn please hanging

over your head that at some point this this thing could go away right and how however far you are into a three million dollar house that balloon comes due at the end and it's not there it's not there right do you have kids yeah that's the hard part. I mean, we have two kids. Our home is like we walked into it. What do you owe $3 million on it? Yeah, it's worth about, we bought it for $4.1. A realtor told me he would list it at like $6.2 now, so that's, you know, an amazing thing. If it's me, hey, Kristen, I grew up in Houston.

If it's me, again, you're dealing with up in houston if it's me um again you're dealing in with zeros and commas that i've never dealt with i'd sell the house tomorrow and um there's some wonderful communities in houston where y'all could live super comfortably with cash and you'll be able to pay cash for three million dollar house yeah there you go? That wouldn't be a bad thing. Yeah. Struggling through here. But I, you know, you've got to decide what you're going to do. One of the things you said, what's God telling you to do? One of the things I use when I'm doing that is, number one, does the situation violate what I know what Scripture is indicating? And number two, do i have a peace about it the peace that passes understanding and if i send if i if i'm troubled in my spirit that means it's

time about a deal i'm getting ready to go into that means don't go into the deal right you know because we've all had that sense of like oh it all looks good and it's all logical but there's this thing inside called the holy spirit going, don't do it. And I think the opposite would be true here. In other words, if you're troubled in your spirit, if you stay, and I kind of keep hearing that in the way you're describing this. It sounds like she's looking for permission to walk away. You need free, freedom and peace.

Even though it's, oh, by the way, it's not an indication that you're ungrateful right it's just an indication you don't want to be a puppet on the end of this trust you want the trust to be a puppet that you control and right now it's got a knife hanging over your head so yeah I think if I'm in your shoes I want to be free of that but I'm the guy that doesn't even want to live in a neighborhood where there's an HOA I don't want anybody telling me what to do. Okay? You're right. And so clearly I am, you know, do not want any authority in my life except Jesus.

Especially authority that has passed away a few years ago. Authority that handled money that was different. It just feels good to be free. Yeah. In this case, it's more of a vague. It's not even your dad's memory. It's more this thing that's happening over here. And it's so big and freaking complicated and it could end up you know i don't know i don't think

there's any rush it's a weird question you're right it sounds like a prank call but um i think it's real i think you really are there um i'm looking for peace and if you can't get peace staying there and i just heard a lot of disturbance in the way you're describing this over the years i've seen so many families suffer by not having life insurance it's not that they didn't care it's just that they didn't know, so they did nothing. That's a huge mistake. Listen, husbands and wives, moms and dads, think about it. If you died, how would your family pay the bills, the mortgage, food, and plan for a better future? This is what life insurance is all about, and term life is the only way to go. It's not expensive, and it's not complicated. Stop wasting money on cash value plans. You need 10 to 12 times your income in protection,

and I recommend 15- or 20-year-level plans. I also only recommend Zander Insurance, and I have for over 20 years. These are the only people I personally use, and they only offer the plans I recommend. Call them at 800-356-4282 or get instant quotes online at zander.com. Trust me, these simple steps will let your family know how much you care. Our question of the day comes from Blinds.com, the number one online retailer of custom window coverings.

You get free samples, free shipping, and with the new promos they run every month, you can save even more. Always use the magic word, the promo code RAMSY. John, our question. Today's question comes from Jesse in Texas. He visits DaveRamsay.com to ask, I'm 24 years old and our family had three cars for the four of us. Last week I blew the transmission taking a corner too fast so the car is totaled.

I am paying my parents the deductible and insurance will cover the rest of the value of the car. My mom's been hounding me that wrecking the car will lead them to having to buy a car with payments. But to me it feels like they're blaming me for them buying a $20,000 car when the car I wrecked was worth around $10,000. I'm just trying to decide how responsible I should feel or what I should be okay paying them and what sort of boundaries I should create with them about this. Should I buy my own car?

Answer to the last question first, yes. Yes. Answer to the other question, you should feel 100 hundred percent of the blame because you took the car too fast you took the corner too fast and blew the car out the cost of the car that your parents are driving isn't the point here the point here is i broke somebody something and i've got a risk i've got to as a part of being forgiven is restoration i've got to make this right. I don't know, Dave.

This question, I don't like the heart of this question, if that makes sense. You're reading the. Am I reading into it wrong? No, you're reading the sentence structure and seeing stuff in there more than just the detail. Yeah. Yeah. So this question, my mom's hounding me that wrecking the car, it should have only been worth $10,000. They had a $20,000 car. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

All that doesn't matter, right? The car he wrecked was worth around $10,000. They're wanting to buy a $20,000. Ah, okay, okay, okay. The difference is on them. There you go. That's right. There you go.

The difference is on mom and dad. You don't have to feel any blame or shame for that portion. No. And so she can't say you forced her to buy a $20,000 car when she formerly had a $10,000 car. That's right. Go buy a car that replaces this. I'm still trying to figure out how taking a corner blows the transmission and totals a $10,000 car. It sounded like you rolled it too maybe i don't know but either okay so there's insurance right and mom and dad have a ten thousand dollar car and

they need to get a ten thousand dollar car is what i would recommend for them and they're going to get a ten thousand dollar check and and they should just use that to buy that car however there's a deductible right and uh whatever deductibles are, you should be responsible for that, and you should go get a separate car of your own, which will probably cause a couple of things. One is it will cause you to drive differently, and the second thing, maybe, uh, then the second thing is, uh, that, that then you don't have all this, uh, interwoven stuff with your parents with blaming and shaming and, and you being responsible and not feeling responsible and all those kinds of things. You are responsible for causing a disruption in the family with your recklessness. And you are responsible for any out-of-pocket money that that costs them

to replace the car equivalent to what you were driving. And this points to a broader conversation. I had a conversation with an extraordinary minister last night. We just spent some time together hanging out. And we were talking about the foundations of forgiveness, and he said something profound that I think all of us can listen to, but this idea of forgiveness is if you do something that hurts somebody and you come and say, hey, I'm sorry, I want to make this right,

you have to let the person who was hurt speak into, here's how we're going to make this right. And I can't come to you and say, Hey, I messed up. And my expectation is I'm going to tell you how I'm going to, how I can fix this. Um, because there's a, there's a bigger picture there. Now you're, you're exactly right, Dave. And I missed this sentence here. If mom and dad say, well, I need to get a $50,000 car here. So you're going to cost us 40 grand. And that's not true. That's not true. And that's not, that's not, if that's necessary to get a $50,000 car here, so you're going to cost us $40,000. That's not true. That's not true. And that's not, if that's necessary for them to be forgiving, then you have a toxic situation with them.

That's right. That's a different thing. But you should make whole any damage you have caused. And sometimes wholeness hurts. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And so, I mean, if you, we had a caller the other day that the friend wasn't speaking

to her because she borrowed a bicycle that disappeared. It was stolen. Remember that? It was you and me, wasn't it? That's right. And we never heard how much the bicycle cost. Right. She gave her $500, but was it a $1,200, you know, advanced whatever, mountain bike or whatever, you know?

Right. And so we don't know. Did she leave her stuff? So you need to make them whole. Right. And beyond that, you know, a little bit maybe here or there, but beyond that, if they start to try to do, oh, I need double whole to feel okay, then that starts to be a problem on their side of the equation, and, you know, the whole forgiveness thing starts to unfold.

And sometimes it's unclear what whole is, but in this case it's very clear. And that goes all the way down to that bottom question, which I love the way you answer that order. If you have your own car as a 24-year-old, this isn't an issue. Yeah. Not a thing. Changes everything. Yeah.

I accuse you of driving better. However, that has never been the case for me. So just because I got my own car, it never once did it make me so just because i got my own car didn't never never once did it make me drive better no so me neither i'm working on it thanks for the thanks for the the question jesse yeah absolutely very cool open phones at 888-825-5225 devon is in washington hi devon welcome to the dsey Show. Hi, Dave. Thanks for taking my call. I really appreciate it. Sure. What's up? So I got kind of a typical what do I do question. I kind of have a

moral issue with my job. I've been working in banking for the past five plus years since I graduated college, and I've been a long time listening to your show since when I was back in college, and I know how you feel about lots of careers in banking, lots of bankers, and you know, I really, I couldn't agree more. It's hard now with a family when the money is good, and health benefits are good, and the vacation pay is good, and so I'm kind of just wanting some advice on maybe what should I do? Should I make a career change? Should I stick it out? What is it in your day-to-day job that you feel you are being asked to do

that does not align with your morals? Yeah, so I'm a solutions manager, and so my job is to kind of help relationship expansion. So people that already have a relationship with us i'm supposed to come up with new solutions and and product offerings for them so i'm basically you know advising people and trying to get people to take on more debt and that just feels you know sticky to me okay all right would you and so when you're looking at it you say i wouldn't do this for my little brother or my dad, and so I'd feel weird doing it for a customer.

That's correct. You would tell your little brother, don't do this. And instead, you're having it as a part of your job. Okay. So anytime you're doing that anywhere with any situation, you can't feel good about what you're being asked to provide to the customer, good enough to do it for your best friend or your family, then it is time to start looking for a transition. Is it a panic? No, this is not a highly toxic situation. It's a values strain that's been going on for five years. And so it may take you two or three years to make a transition to something else once you identify what that is and figure out what the steps are to make that transition

using Ken Coleman's steps to make a transition. But I think you've identified, and Rabbi Lappin, our friend, Orthodox Jewish Rabbi, wrote the book Thou Shall Prosper. He's a good friend of ours. And he has, of course, a lot of rabbinical wisdom, and he says it's very, very difficult to become world-class at something that you inherently believe is wrong. And so if you believe playing football is wrong, or playing a guitar on the stage is wrong, you're never going to be world class at it.

If you believe what you're doing as a banker in this situation, you're never going to be the best of the best at it. And, Devin, how old are you? I'm 29. So you're learning a 29-year-old lesson, and this is going to carry with you the rest of your life. When you make a moral stand, when you make a value stand, it often costs you something

and that's why it's hard and that's why most people I don't say most people that's why many people don't have the courage and the strength to make the hard decision what it's going to cost you here

is discomfort if you do it gradually it's going to cost you money if you do it quickly and it's going to cost you your soul if you don't do it at all whoa bada boom there it is mic drop this is the Dave Ramsey Show if you do it quickly. And it's going to cost you your soul if you don't do it at all. Whoa!

Ba-da-boom! There it is. Mic drop. This is the Dave Ramsey Solutions, Adam and Savannah are here. Hey, guys, how are you? We're great. Great. Glad to be here.

We're honored to have you. Welcome. Where do y'all live? Oxford, Alabama. Birmingham area? Yes, sir. Very good. Well, good to have you.

How much debt have you paid off? We paid off a total of $154,000 over just shy of four years. Wow. We also cash flowed about another $25,000 to $30,000 in purchases during that time. Wow. And your household income ranged during that four years? We started at approximately $100,000 and ended around $150,000. Well, good job. What do you guys do for a living?

I am a controller for a family business, electrical contracting. I'm an outside salesman for an industrial pipe company. Wonderful. Good. So what was the $154,000? We had a vehicle, a lawn tractor, and our house. You paid off your house? Yes, sir.

I'm looking at weird people. Yes. Awesomeness. How old are you house? Yes, sir. I'm looking at weird people. Yes. Awesomeness. How old are you two? 36 years old. 36. And you have a paid-for house before you're 40. Yes, sir.

Touchdown. I love it. Way to go, guys. And the lawn tractor's paid for. Yes. Yeah, that's a big deal right there. Because I can tell you bought one of those good ones. Oh, yeah.

Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A manly lawn tractor. That's right. Okay. Yeah, with some zeros on it awesome so what in the world happened that woke you guys up four years ago made you think we're gonna pay off our house before we're 40 we we just kind of sat down we had uh we were making more money than we had in the six years that we had been married but we still felt like

we were living paycheck to paycheck so i sat down day. We used a credit card for everything and just paid it off. And when I totaled up how much we spent on food and just needless things, it made us sick. It made the controller controlling. Yes, it did. So we decided to start a budget and see what we could do. Okay. And that's how you found us? Yes.

We had heard about it at Sunday school at church. My sister-in-law had talked to us about it. But when we first discussed it, I sat down and I would read the book at night after he went to sleep. And I would wake up so excited. And I would read these success stories. And I thought, we can do this. So we made our first budget. And from there, it was history wow who was the hardest one to get on the train was it was the pipe salesman wasn't it

that's right yeah the guy with the lawnmower yeah and the truck oh yeah oh yeah bass boat oh everything boat and the bows and yes I love it very. Okay, so she starts reading this book and starts giving you a hard time about it. How did you guys decide to get on the same page? Well, one of the things that we, you know, you talk about what he spends, what she spends. What we did was, you know, we gave ourselves an allowance. And I just told him, I said, this is your money to do whatever you want to with. I don't care if you spend it on fishing lures or food or whatever. He lost a lot of weight that year and won a lot of tournaments.

I love how he dumped fishing lures and food in the same box. And he lost weight, which means he wasn't catching any fish. Not even catching fish. Oh, man. This is bad. Oh, wow. Very cool. Very cool.

And so what I'm interested in, you're a salesman. Yes, man. This is bad. Oh, wow. Very cool. Very cool. And so what I'm interested in, you're a salesman. Yes, sir. You know how to take a no and twist it and get it the way you need it to be. You drive around and you get in people's yards where they don't really want you there and you convince them to buy. That's what you do. That's what I do. So what was it about this situation that you looked at your tractor and your boat and your truck and your space and your yard and another hunting rifle, whatever it was, what did she do to turn your heart? What did you have to do in the mirror to turn your heart?

Well, first off, I mean, that's kind of what she does for a living is finances with the company that she works for. Right. It didn't take much for her to get me on board because i trusted her 100 on that so you're one of these crazy husbands who respects and listens to their wife that's the only way it'll work that's weirder than paying your house off man good for you but when we talked about the the end game is what got me on board yeah at a young age and we broke down that time frame on when we thought we could complete this and i was like no let's go you know at 36 years old yeah let's do this game on what's the house worth uh today probably around 250 way to

go we had some we had actually downsized or gone to an older home had a good bit of equity and the house is the hardest thing to get him on board with, but when I told him initially I think it was going to take us six years to get the house. He said, well, if we can do that, go for it. We did it in three years, just the house portion. Oh, the house portion. Wow. Wow.

Touchdown. Well done. Sitting there 36 years old, a quarter million dollar house in birmingham alabama that's a nice house well done everything's paid off how's it feel to have no payments especially in times like this outstanding yes definitely we are being in the same industry as far as work goes um we were worried and we sat down back in march and looked at okay you know if one of us loses income or even both of us, when we realized we didn't have anything to worry about, you know, we're set for a year if need be.

It wouldn't be fun, but it took the burden away. Yeah. Definitely. Complete smoothing out of everything. So do you have a little one? We do. We have one son, McKinnon. He's seven years old.

All right. Is he going to do the debt-free screen? He's been practicing with you? He is. All son, McKinnon. He's seven years old. All right. Is he going to do the debt-free scream? He's been practicing with you? He is. All right, McKinnon. This is your shot, man. It's your shot at being famous. All right. So we've got a copy of Chris Hogan's book for you, Everyday Millionaires. That's certainly the next chapter in your story. You are well on your way. Tell folks what the number one key to getting out of debt is. Communication, basically, and just sticking to it trust in god amen amen well done you guys i'm very proud of you heroes

you guys took it you did it and you have paid for house you know that have you heard the news it's pretty cool that's pretty stinking cool well done all right All right, McKinnon, Adam, and Savannah, the Birmingham, Alabama area. $154,000 paid off. Cash flow, $25,000 extra during that time. Took four years. That's the house and everything. Making $1,000 to $150,000. Count it down.

Let's hear a debt-free scream. Three, two, one. We're debt-free! Yeah! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

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Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! But it's good. You're right. You're right. But he's going to walk on a different sidewalk because of the work y'all did. Yeah.

And he got to watch you. Half of his life is spent watching mom dig themselves out of the hole they dug themselves into. And the rest of it, the rest of it is going to be. The rest of it's building. Yeah. It's going to be a different thing. What a gift. Different thing.

Hmm. More is caught than taught. You want to change your family tree? That is how you do it. You do the work. Yeah. You got to do the math, and you got to do the math, and you've got to do the behaviors, and the kids emulate the behaviors, and they'll pick the math up later.

And you do it every day. I love that old line, you know, there's no workout you can do that's so good on Monday that you don't got to work out for the rest of the month. And that's the worst part about being in shape, right? You've got to get up on Tuesday, and you've got to get up on Wednesday, and they just kind of keep waking up and doing it again and doing it again and doing it again. Very, very cool. Good stuff.

Tim is with us. Tim's in Mississippi. Hi, Tim. How are you? Fine. How are you guys doing? Better than we deserve. What's up?

Yes, sir. I've got a question for you. We're in some financial issues. We had some medical bills that came up over the last three years that put us in financial straits, wiped out our savings, and we were being sued by a couple of our creditors. So we had no choice really but to file bankruptcy, so we did. It's not discharged yet, but they're telling us that we have a choice between keeping the car or turning it in. Turn it in.

I'm thinking we should turn the car in and pay the house off quicker. Yes. Yes, you don't need to talk. You owe more on the car than it's worth, don't you? No, actually, we're slightly below what we owe on the car. So it's financed or it's leased? It's financed. Okay.

So it's got a little bit of a... So what's the car worth? Probably around $12 or $13. And what do you owe? Over in that range, about $12. So we're about $600. Turn the car in. Turn the car in.

Okay. You don't need a car payment. You don't need trouble. We can get you a hoopty that you pay cash for. And if you've gone through a Chapter 7, you need that fresh start. Don't hang on to the past. Let it all go and get the fresh start. If you drag the stuff with you through the bankruptcy, there's no fresh start because it all came with you.

Dump it. Dump it. Cut it loose. Do not reaffirm debts in the bankruptcies. If you're going to, you don't need to file bankruptcy. So, yeah, get rid of it. Get rid of it. I'm sorry you're going through that.

Hold on. We're going to pay for you to go through Ramsey Plus for a year and take care of your healing. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today here on the Dave Ramsey Show. Folks, if you don't know, the main difference between houses that sit on the market and houses that actually sell are real estate agents who know what the flip they're doing. Not everybody who has a real estate license knows anything, I can just tell you. Some of them sell one house a year.

Some of them sell 100 houses a year. Now, who do you want selling your house? Well, they sound awful busy to me. It's because they know what the flip they're doing. Starts with you knowing the value of a good real estate agent. It's worth it to find an experienced agent who not only cares about getting you 100% of what your home is worth, they've actually done it before, like last week. Okay?

And that's why we endorse top agents all across the U.S., our endorsed local providers for real estate. It's easy to find a quality professional that will help you win. Do not settle for a subpar real estate agent on your most expensive asset, your house, buying it or selling it. Go to DaveRamsey.com slash agent. Find the agent that we recommend in your area. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Again, Dr. John Deloney is my co-host.

We're answering questions about your life and your money. Steve is in Indianapolis. Hi, Steve. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave and John. Thanks for taking my call. Sure. What's up?

I had a quick question for you guys. It's something I've been debating over for the last couple months, and I followed you guys' plan for the last 10 years or so, so I'm in a pretty good position. I just wanted to give you a couple pieces of info that I think will help. I'm trying to understand what to do with a large amount in my savings account. And I'm 31. I have three kids and a wife. Annual income is $250,000. And I run about an $8,000 surplus every month. and I have $225,000 just sitting in cash. So I'm kind of debating whether to chunk it all down on my house

or maybe make some additional investments such as a rental property. Okay. How much do you owe on your home? $275,000. Let's buy your house off. And right now I have $225,000 in cash. So yeah, I'd still have, that's not counting any emergency funds. Okay.

So you'd have 50 left to go and you're making $8,000 a month surplus. And so in six months, the house will be paid for. And then we have the question, what do we do next? But until then, that's the answer. Okay. Let me just tell you this, okay? You make incredible money, so you're obviously a very smart guy. Stupid people don't make a quarter million dollars a year, okay?

It just doesn't work that way. But what you cannot calculate, even as smart as you are, is how it's going to feel the day you have zero payments. Something switches deep down in your soul, a switch flips, and you really realize that the Bible wasn't kidding when it said the borrower is slave to the lender. When you don't have any payments in the world, it changes you. And that's the first goal. That's the first goal here.

Then you've got more than $8,000 because your house payment is $2,000, isn't it? $2,500? Yep, roughly. Yeah. You don't have a house payment anymore, so now we've got $10,000 a month surplus. When the house is paid for, right? Right. Now we save up and pay cash for whatever you want to buy.

I don't care. Buy some rental properties, do some investing in mutual funds, be outrageously generous, and you probably ought to do all three. Yep, yep, that's the goal. You probably ought to buy your wife a better car. She mentions that weekly. Maybe I'll do that before you do anything else we're talking about then. Okay. What's she driving?

Wait a minute. Did I read your mail? What's she driving, Tywad? The 2010 GMC Acadia. I mean, it's nice, but... Yeah. Steve, listen, you are rarely in your life going to find someone as stingy about cars than John Deloney, and I'm even shaking my head at you, brother.

Come on, man. Okay, go buy your wife a car, and then let's get your house paid off. And then let's build some investments, okay? You guys are doing an incredible job. Steve, you're not going to make mistakes of overspending. That is not going to happen to you. It's just in your wiring. I mean, people don't call me up that have problems with overspending,

that have $200,000 in savings and make $250,000 a year and tell me what their surplus is on their monthly budget. Spenders don't tell me these kinds of things. So you're not going to make mistakes overspending. You're okay. There's a portion of your money you're supposed to enjoy there's a portion you're supposed to invest and save which is your nature and there's a portion you're supposed to be outrageously generous with so you need to have a portion of your budget that is for enjoyment for your family and you you get great joy out of just

saving but your wife would enjoy a thingy or two and you have earned it sir she has earned it she married you so you're an incredible dude man i'm so proud of you very well done it's easy to poke fun but you've done an incredible incredible job ed Eddie is with us. Eddie's in San Antonio. Hi, Eddie. What's your question? Mr. Ramsey, Dr. Deloney, thank you very much for taking my phone call. Got a 22, an 18, and a 16. They're 22s in college right now.

She's got a pretty good head on her shoulder. I'd let her walk out the door with $10,000 in her pocket and great VA and Texas Veterans benefits that she really doesn't have to worry about much. I hate to say it, I think I fell short teaching my son's financial planning and budgeting. I taught him everything else, but I didn't get to, I don't think I did any better than with my daughter. The 18-year-olds in his senior year of high school, 16-year-old, a junior, they're going to walk out of the house with about $10,000 themselves too and also the same VA benefits and the Hazelwood Act over here in Texas. I'm just, what else do I need to teach them or to show them what they need to do so they don't have this phone call with

you yeah 10 20 years in life I'll jump in and then John spent a bunch of years in higher ed I want him to chime in on this but I'll jump in they're not leaving the house with ten thousand dollars to start with they're going to leave the house with a budget monthly that they're going to live on and that they have helped develop so they believe it. And then I'm going to fund that budget out of that $10,000.

You don't hit the lottery because you graduated from high school and get a $10,000 check and pray God you know. You don't hand a kid a car keys and didn't know how to drive. You show them how to drive first. Even with my daughter, it's monitored. I get to see what you spend

and what you sell. Yeah, but that's too late. It's too late. You don't give her the $10,000. You give her money out of the $10,000 monthly to fund the budget that the two of you together worked up, and you're doing it together. This is what happened with the Ramsey kids. Alright, so what should he do, John? I i hey eddie i want to challenge your language okay you just say you failed them with a period at the end of that sentence and i'm going to disagree with you

there is no greater gift there's other gifts a great gift that dad can give his sons is to take him out to breakfast and say i left left out a critical thing, a critical piece of information. And I'm going to look at you, 18 year old son, you're a man now. I'll look you in the eyes and tell you, I'm sorry. And I'm going to put us through financial peace university. We're going to go through it together. We're going to do this plan together. I'm not too much of a macho Texan to say, I wish I'd done this differently when you were younger. I didn't, so here we go. And so failed has appeared at the end of it.

I don't like that, man. You're going to show your kids some vulnerability, and you're going to tell them you love them. And then like Dave said, you're going to not just hand them the keys to the car and say, man, you're 18 now. I hope you make good decisions because we've got enough brain science and we have enough newspaper headlines to show us that 18-year-olds don't make great decisions because they're 18. And 16-year-olds are 16-year-olds, man. So the greatest gift you can give your kids is this continual, I'm learning, I'm a dad, I'm still on a journey, I'm still figuring it out.

And I'm going to stop you every time I see you, and I'm going to let you know what I'm learning. I'm going to be vulnerable with you. And I'm going to make you do it. The bad news is I didn't teach you the good news is we're we're on it now baby the other bad news is we're about to learn it together we're on it and we're going to do it that's right the bad news is you got to do it anyway and the kids are going to learn by watching you yeah they're going to grow from watching you exactly so good for you eddie yeah hold on i'm going to have kelly send you a copy of the book smart money smart kids that

rachel and i did together there's some good instruction in that along these same exact lines. But, yeah, well, just put them through Financial Peace University. Put them in Ramsey Plus, too. That way they can do what John suggested. He and the son can go through it together. That's a good idea. That puts us out of the Dave Ramsey Show in the books. Thanks. is over, but if you heard about an event, product, or service and didn't have a chance to write it down, don't worry. We list everything you've heard about during this episode in the podcast show notes or head to DaveRamsey.com. Thanks for listening.