The Ramsey Show - App - My Mother-in-Law Keeps Asking for Financial Help (Hour 3)

Episode Date: December 15, 2020

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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show. For debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Thank you for joining us, America. Open phones at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. My co-host today here on the air, Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality and author of the bestselling book, Redefining Anxiety.

Kind of a timely topic for the dumpster fire year of 2020 that's finally coming to a close. So we're here to talk about your mental health. We're here to talk about the crazy people in your freaking family. Whatever help you need along those lines, he has the answers for you, and we'll talk about your money as well. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Glenn is in Rapid City, South Dakota dakota hi glenn how are you

hi i'm good dave thanks you guys taking the call and thank you for your ministry thank you um yeah i wanted to tell you guys first thank you so much my wife and i are 100 on board and maybe step two um the first 59 days we paid off uh fifteen thousand dollars and yesterday i paid off another twenty two thousand dollars by paying off my getting rid of my truck so much wow attaboy you are getting it man yeah i just found out that my hoopty has heated mirrors i'm sitting in it right now heated mirrors that is that is by definition not a hoopty glenn i didn't realize it spent 3500 bucks on it oh that's high class that's high class south dakota driving right now right um well i'm a small business owner uh he's an electrical

contractor um and the problem i have with budgeting i i can't i'm having a tough time with it because i never know what goes on the top line. I can't plan far enough ahead because I never know from day to day. I do all service work, and so it just changes so much, and I just can't get my head around it. Okay, let's stop talking about it as a personal budget for a minute, and let's just talk about it as a business. How long have you been doing the business? Six years. Okay. a business how long have you been doing the business six years okay so uh you do service

work on heating and air yeah and electrical too yeah okay the people that i know in the business tell me that the first cold snap is a big time because people turn their heat on for that been off all summer and they turn it on, and it doesn't work. And the first warm day or warm week, they turn their AC on, and it doesn't work. So those are usually two big months. Am I right? You're right. You're absolutely right.

Okay. So we can start to predict some things. A, you have seasonality, and B, you have six years of records. And so what I would do is say, I'm going to look at, if you're coming up on March, I'm going to look at my last three marches and see what the pattern is, and they ought to inform me as to what this march looks like. So let me give you an example. What would be a normal month for you in top line?

Just pick a month. Give me a number. $50,000. You do $50,000 a month? In gross sales, and it's just me. Okay. I'm in the wrong business glenn all right so fifty thousand dollars a month top in gross sales okay so if you looked at last march and it was forty thousand and then march before that and it was thirty thousand and the march before that and it was

twenty five thousand you would see a growth trend year over year same month last year not last month same month last year so we're seeing a 25 to a 30 to a 40 to a 50 trend all in the last three or four marches which tells me if i'm coming up on this March, I might be looking at 60. You see how I did that? Yeah, I do. Now, that's not accurate because we don't know for sure, but we're forecasting based on history same month last year. Same month last several years gives me a trend line that I can use. Now, if you made 50 every single March for the last three Marches,

then we could probably predict 50, not 60. Yes. Okay. Because the trendline is flat, but we still have some old data to use to forecast with and predict with. And so, now,

could you do 52? Yeah. Could you do 45? Yeah yeah the likelihood of you doing 30 is almost zero as long as you work every day right true and the likelihood of you doing 90 is almost zero true you're going to be some range plus or minus off of that trend line from the last several years same month last year so that's how you do business forecasting on your top line. Now, your bottom line is going to be a function of your top line because you probably run a pretty standard margin on that 50. You probably know, every time I make $50,000, I net X.

And you're just going to have that X to work with. That's what you're going to take home and use. But you're not going to vary unless something happens okay now something could happen you could hire a guy and that would increase that's a change in those over those trend lines but you just say okay what's my trend line and what's different this year well i mean pandemic could be different that could be that could be what's different off Off the trend lines. I really can't predict the trend line to be that way.

I'm probably going to predict it to be less or more. If you're in a plexiglass business, you predict more. You know? The bleach business, the toilet paper business, you predict more. Should have gone into plexiglass. Should have. Should have done that early in my life. But, so that's that's how you do your predictions there you uh same month last year and you can look at last month and that's somewhat of a prediction but

it could be that you know we've got businesses here inside of ramsey that um like ed solutions our high school curriculum a lot of the decisions decisions are made in April for the whole year. And so we have this huge mountaintop experience on our P&Ls, on the gross revenues, April. April's the month. That's when the crop comes in. Right. You're a farmer.

When are you going to harvest your crop? Right. And, you know, other than that, you're planting and making nothing. Right. And you're waiting on the fall crop to come in, and then you're going to pull the cotton, you're going to pull the corn, you're going to pull the soybeans, other than that, you're planting and making nothing. Right. And you're waiting on the fall crop to come in. Then you're going to pull the cotton. You're going to pull the corn. You're going to pull the soybeans, whatever it is, right?

And, you know, you know when that's coming. We know we're going to take that to market. We don't know exactly what it's going to yield, but we know it's not going to happen in this month. We know it's going to happen in that month. So several callers today across all the shows today, Dave, have been a small business owner. I'm a salesman. And there's this common theme of, it's hard for me to predict. I can't, I don't know how to guess. I'm concerned

just as an outside guy that there's people running businesses without keeping any sort of tracking data, without asking themselves, what are year over year? Do I know what I'm making in this month? What did I make last year in this month? And how can I make more? How do we help folks pay better attention to their data? Entree leadership. Yeah. Go and start listening to the Entree Leadership Podcast.

Get online and join the Entree Leadership Elite, and we'll teach you how to run your business. Because most small businesses fail because they don't do what we're talking about. They don't predict. They don't do any budgeting they all they do is look at their pnl they drive the car looking at only three of your mirror what happened a year ago not what's going to happen next year it's almost like half for getting christmas shows up every year on the same day right yeah christmas this year who knew it was going to be in december this is the dave ramsey show This is the Dave Ramsey Show. If current times have shown us anything, it's that the least expected events can and will happen, and we have to deal with it.

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Great rates and a simple process mean there's no excuse to not get this done, people. if you feel like you should have made more progress on your debt by now i understand when it comes to paying off debt sometimes it feels like all grind and no reward here's the thing when you try to do it on your own you're more likely to fall back into bad habits that's why when ish happens you stop making progress and that's why you need ramsey plus ramsey plus is our step-by-step money plan that will give you the accountability the encouragement the practical tips that you need to pay off your debt faster than you can do on your own. When you have someone in your corner cheering you on, you make the tough choices that get you where you want to be. Ramsey Plus helps you go from ish to all in, so you can finally keep more of your money.

To start your free trial of Ramsey Plus, just text the word trial to 33789. A free trial by testing or texting trial to 33789. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. Jen is with us in Orange County, California. Hi, Jen. Welcome to the show. How can we help? Hi, Mr. Ramsey and Dr. Deloney. Thank you so much for taking my call.

Sure. Me and my husband have a life household money question for you. We have a couple different options for me potentially starting to work part-time that we're considering, and we wanted to get your opinion if we've considered all of our options and what is the best way to maybe test those options. We are on baby steps four, five, and six, and we're both working right now, and we love our careers, but more recently, I just felt a tug to want to be at home more. We have two kids, a five-year-old and a two-year-old. And we've also realized that how much work there is for managing a house and the cooking and the laundry and appointments. And so the two options we're really looking at is me going part-time when the

five-year-old goes to school next fall. And we can still pay off the house in a little less than 15 years if we do that. The other option we're looking at, because we really want the freedom in getting the house paid off, is to suck it up for like three years and pay off the house, because then I wouldn't really have to have the option to work maybe. But that would mean maybe doing more of a baby step 3B, 4-ish, and bringing the retirement down to maybe the company match. So those are the two options we're considering. What do you make?

Together we make about $165,000. No, no, no. What do you make? $165,000. You make $165,000? Yes. What does he make? About $135,000. What does he do?

He's in finance for a local restaurant company. And how old are you guys? We're 37. Okay. What do you do? I work for a medical device company in regulatory. And you can do that part-time? I think I have options, even if the company I work at currently wouldn't be willing to do it.

I think I know enough people in industry or could potentially consult if that company or another company wouldn't hire me. Okay, so if you went part-time, how much does it cut your all's income? You're from $165,000 to what? About $80,000. So about in half? Yeah. Okay. If I'm in your shoes, I'm going part-time in September when the five-year-old goes to school.

Okay. The way I decided that was, this is not a question of financial well-being. This is just a question of how fast you get rich. Yeah. You cannot have those years back. Yeah, I'll trade getting rich a little slower for you to be there with the five-year-old when she comes home making her cookies, or whatever the scenario is you want to do. Yeah, I'll trade getting rich a little slower for you to be there with the five-year-old when she comes home making her cookies or whatever the scenario is you want to do.

Yeah, yeah. That's quality of life. It's hard to hear that. Okay. That's quality of life. Well, the thing is you get tremendous satisfaction and you're tremendously good at your job. You don't hate your job. No, no, not at all.

You're a professional woman. I mean, you're killing it. And so you're really trading something that you love for something that you love more. And, Jen, you need to know, like I'm telling you, like you don't know this. There is an entire industry. There's an entire cultural ethos that is against women having peace, period. So if you are at work crushing it at 165,

you and your husband are just sailing through life, there is a part of that culture that's going to tug on you and say, why aren't you at home? They're going to shame you for not being home with the baby. What kind of mom are you? And you're going to take a half pay cut, still making double the average U.S. salary. You're going to go home, and there's going to be an industry telling you, seriously? What kind of modern woman are you?

You walked away from that career. What's wrong with you? You hate your family financially? So there's a moron out there somewhere to shame you no matter what you do. Right. And so here's what you have to do as you make this transition. And I'm speaking from somebody. We've made the same transition in my house.

You've got to get a couple of people around you that are going to be able to walk alongside you as you make this transition. You're going to have to learn new skills. And most of us don't think I have to learn skills on how to run a household. I can just quote unquote, take care of my kids. It's more complex than that. You got to learn some new things and you got to have people around you that you can reach out to and say, today sucks. And I love my kids, but I don't like them today. And that aren't going to judge you and say, you're the worst mom. And we're going to send you mean cards and pray for you, but they're going to laugh and send you funny memes and you're going to go on with your day. And then there's going to be people who are

going to pick you up on the work side of it and, and, and. But you've got to have folks who walk alongside you. I just, Dave, I know too many folks who go home to follow this call to be at home with their kids and then it just is a silent vortex there. And they get lonely and they start doubting and then they start

looking online and then everybody's telling them what a loser they are and they made the wrong decision and it's hard you gotta have people walk alongside you when you do this this is this is when you learn that facebook friends are not friends they're not your friends no no they're not real. They're not. They're not real friends. Oh, my gosh. They're not. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Jen, go home. Go home.

And it's going to be hard and worth it. Use that wonderful brain that God gave you to be a world-class mom while you're doing consulting or whatever it is you. And here's the other thing. You've done all of your projections as if your income is linear and his income is linear and it's not you're both in professional careers both of you are going to see your incomes go up even if you're working part-time and he's continuing so it's not a 15 year versus a three year it's a three year versus a eight or ten year yeah you're going to get there good for you really really good question really good question mike's in question. Mike's in Philadelphia. Hey, Mike.

Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hey, Dave. Hey, John. How are you guys doing? Great. What's up? I had a quick question just generally around motivation. My wife and I, we had our kind of never-again moment about two years ago.

Had around $250,000 in student loan debt plus a mortgage. Good Lord. And she had then lost her job, and she was about 60% of our income. So we then kind of made the decision, you know, we've got to buckle down, and we said we've got to pay off the debt once she gets back into it. We really paid off really a lot of debt over the past two years, even with her being out of work, but just having generally just trouble with motivation,

especially with the holiday season. We want to spend some money on our kids and a few other things. And just trying to give a little bit of advice. You evil guy wanting to spend money on your kids. What's wrong with you? Of course you need to spend some money on your kids. And of course you've lost, you're not having as much progress as you thought you were going to have because you lost her income. Those are realities, man.

That's not a loss of motivation. That's a loss of mathematics. That's okay. Yeah. You're not broken, brother. It's good. No, no. And luckily she'll get a new job. Yeah. Like I said No, no. And luckily, she did get a new job.

Yeah. And like I said, we paid. Yeah, she'll get a new job, and then you're going to be able to plow again because you've got a tractor again. You know what I mean? You'll get moving again. But right now, you're kind of slow, and that's just kind of your reality. It didn't mean you quit, and it doesn't mean you lost your motivation. It means you lost your income.

That's right. When you're running a marathon, sometimes you stop and you get that water station, right? And you slow down a little bit and you get the water. You're not losing your desire to finish. You've got to slow down for a minute. And then you're going to pick back up and you're going to start running again. Yeah, it's nutrition. And, you know, what you're facing is exactly the way you should be feeling.

You're going to do great. Get your kid a Christmas gift. Amen. If there's one thing 2020 has taught us about investing, it's you cannot invest alone. You need someone in your life who knows the market better than you do and teaches you so that you make smart decisions and they talk you off the ledge. Look, I love do-it-yourselfers, but DIY investors do not have the same rates of return that those of us who have pros in our corner. I don't pull my own teeth, and I don't do my own investing. I get advice just like I tell you to do. You invest in the wrong things. You get caught up in trends.

You make rookie mistakes. You build a portfolio based on what you read on Reddit. Oh, my God, what were you reading Reddit for? That's a lost day. You'll never get that time back not realizing all it takes is one freaking pandemic to knock you completely off track trust me you do not need to add any unnecessary stress to your life stop winging it a good investment pro like a smart investor pro will help you follow the right plan for your money so you understand what's going on and you invest in the right things and you never have to worry if you're making the right decision. If this is your never again moment for your retirement and your investing, don't be at the mercy of some global crisis ever again. And text INVEST to 33789. Text INVEST to 33789.

And you can create a rock-solid investment plan starting today. Bethany is with us in Scranton, Pennsylvania. Hi, Bethany. Welcome to the show. How can we help? Hi. Thank you so much for taking my call. Sure.

I have a question. So my husband and I have three very small kids, and our middle child has Down syndrome. So we are just wondering what you would advise for the future. We recognize that college may be a possibility, but it may not be. So we're just wondering what you would do different um to say for her future and then would you save the same monetary amount per kid um no equal is not fair and fair is not equal right okay and so if this child needs more money set aside than the other two

then uh to take care of them, then there's nothing wrong with that at all. As a matter of fact, that would be called being a good parent. And so you don't have some moral obligation to dole out everything equally. So, you know, what we're going to do is you're just going to save the money in your name. Okay. And you're going to do is you're just going to save the money in your name. Okay. And you're going to have life insurance on you and your husband. Okay.

And in both cases, the life insurance beneficiary is going to be named to the family trust that is formed upon your death. Okay. You need to get a lawyer and get a will built or go to mama bear legal forms and get a will built it depends on how complicated your state is but yours is getting ready to get pretty complicated so what you normally do for a special needs child there's a special needs trust which lasts their entire life and the trustee is in charge of investing the money and handling the money to take care of the child okay and they

do it according to your directions and so if this were my child i would have a special needs trust that's formed upon my death and my wife's death and it's funded with the money from the life insurance policy that's the beneficiary on the life insurance policy says x number of dollars out of this policy goes in the special needs trust. Okay. Okay. And I'm going to put it across four types of mutual funds, growth, growth and income, aggressive growth and international, and the income produced off of this fund is to take care of this child,

and that is the trustee's job. You would also name a guardian to the extent that the child as an adult is not able or is able to take care of themselves. Okay. It might be a sibling. Okay. Okay, something like that. Now, with children that are not special needs and they're minors, we always build a family trust, and the same exact thing.

The life insurance proceeds go into the trust upon your death if both of you die. Okay. And or your mutual funds and investments that you already have go into that trust in the event that both of you die. And it works exactly the same way. The only difference is that when the child reaches a certain age that the money is just released to them because they're adults and they're on their own. And you don't need a trust, you know, a family, a childhood trust surviving till that kid's 65 with special needs you may right that's the only difference is the length of time the thing survives they work exactly the same way so if you put five hundred thousand dollars in there and the thing

makes ten percent that gives fifty thousand dollars a year to take care of that kid right that's simple okay and you can put the 500,000 in there with investments over time but until you have that 500,000 you would have 500,000 worth of your life insurance allocated to that and i just made that number up but just i would just say take 10 and use that as your number it's probably not right but it's close enough okay and and say you know all right i want them to have three thousand dollars a month well that's thirty six thousand dollars a year so that's three hundred sixty thousand so let's just call that a four hundred thousand dollar policy okay and i'm going to get a million dollars on your husband and you and if something happens to you

four hundred thousand is going in a special needs kids trust and the other six hundred thousand is going over here for the other two, $300,000 each, and they've got very similar wording and so forth. Okay. Make sense? It does. I think so, yeah. So how severe is the Downs?

Well, I mean, we don't know. She's two. Oh, you don't have indication we have a long time to go so she's only two how old are your other kids my oldest is four and i have a two-year-old and a one-year-old wow oh you are in it aren't you yes and you're calling me about a will yeah oh my goodness yeah so well yeah i mean even just to set aside for college yeah like it feels i don't know what to do for her i would not set aside for college i would just keep it in your name okay because you can control it that way and you can do with it what you want if you put it into their name you might lose control of it when

they turn 21 the courts might take it and take it over to name you might lose control of it when they turn 21 the courts might take it and take it over to manage it for the kid and it's not their money it's your money yeah okay and you're not going to do anything that's not for the benefit of the kid no no we just we know for us everything's a little bit slow uh financially we're not um we're just yeah so you'll get there yeah you're gonna get there because you're thinking about it financially or not. Or just, yeah. So I just want to make the best decision. Yeah, you're going to get there because you're thinking about it and you're being intentional. All right, Brian's in Birmingham.

Hey, Brian, welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave and John, thanks for taking my call. Sure. Oh, Birmingham, UK. I thought it was Alabama. Okay, how can I help? No, a bit further away. Just a wee bit, yeah.

I live in the UK, obviously, just a little bit. So things are a little bit different here to the US, and a lot of the things that I look at, YouTube videos, blogs, that sort of thing, a lot of things say that kind of they're baby steps, and your plan don't apply to the UK, but I tend to disagree. For the last sort of year, I've gone down a rabbit hole of looking at your videos and followed your steps thus far, and it's certainly pretty well. I've got out of debt, and where my wife and I are at the moment, that's where baby steps

four, five, and six. The concern that I have, I'm 31, my wife, she's 28. Prior to looking at your videos, I didn't really know anything about finance at all. I just lived paycheck to paycheck. My concern now is whether I'm going to have enough in retirement. We're saving 15% of our total gross income. Why wouldn't you have enough? I don't know, because I keep punching numbers into the compound.

What are you investing it in? Index funds, so 100% index funds. And what's the rate of return in the last 30 years on those index funds? Well, the index fund I'm at the moment has only been up since 2011, and it's 9% every year so far. If you save 15% of your income from 32% to 62% at 9%, you're going to have plenty of money. And just so in case people don't know, math works the same in any country. Don't owe people money.

It works wherever you live. It's a cool thing about math. It's international. The baby steps work exactly the same in the UK as they do in the US, with the exception of what you put your money into in baby step four, because obviously you have a different retirement system. But he's got access to a 9% rate of return fund. You're going to be just fine saving 15% of your income for 30 years. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. Our scripture of the day, 1 Thessalonians 5, 16 and 18. Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

William James says, it is our attitude at the beginning of a difficult task, which, more than anything else, will affect its successful outcome. That's worth doing again. I'm going to do that one again. William James, which, if you've never read, by the way, might be one of the founders of the positive thinking movement just way back in the Ralph Waldo Emerson era. It is our attitude at the beginning of a difficult task, which more than anything else will affect its successful outcome.

It turns out your attitude is probably more important than your skill, your intellect, your education. That's true. I mean, I'm just adding on to Mr. William James here, but it really does matter well they've done all those since this this quote comes out they've done years and years of you know mindset and um we were just talking about do you what type of mindset are you bringing to this is it a restrictive one one? Do you think, is it a scarcity mindset? Is it an abundance mindset?

Is it how you enter in, I think I'm going to fail. You're going to fail, right? I think I'm going to approach this as a challenge. I'm the kind of person who overcomes challenges. You're going to lean in. You're going to lean in. You're not going to know what you're doing. And then all of a sudden, that attitude that you take to it is going to help you be successful in the back end. What if you approached a hard conversation with your wife as,

I'm the kind of husband that has hard conversations because I value my marriage, versus, oh, here we go again, right? You don't think that doesn't affect that conversation? Yeah. I'm the kind of guy that, to go back to... I've got to deal with her. I'm the kind of guy that's going to leave my family when I suddenly die, which I will. I'm going to leave them... You plan to be suddenly. I hope so, man. I'm the kind of guy that's going to leave my family when I suddenly die, which I will. I'm going to leave them.

You plan to be suddenly. I hope so, man. I'm hoping so. You're planning suddenly. Well, the way you live, I suspect. I want to be sudden. But I am going to be the kind of guy who leaves them in that kind of situation versus, well, I'm just going to avoid it. I love that quote, man.

That's good. Your attitude at the beginning of a difficult task is the largest indicator, he is saying, of whether or not you succeed. It is not your skill level. It's not your intellect. It's your outlook. Man, I got a lot. That'll preach right there. All right, Kyle is with us in Columbus, Ohio.

Hey, Kyle, what's up? Hey, guys, how are you doing? Better than we deserve. How can we help? Hey, so I just wanted to get your advice on the situation. My wife and I are on baby step two. We love you guys. We're kind of new.

The last couple months we're on baby step two. And my wife will be graduating in the spring with her master's degree. Right now, our household income is about $113,000, and her salary stands to double once she's graduated grad school. So my question... And that will put your income at what? About $163,000. What's she getting her master's in?

So it's an advanced healthcare degree. By now it's a new degree, but it's equivalent to like a nurse practitioner or a physician's assistant. Basically she'll be able to function like a pulmonary fellow. And yeah, it's absolutely amazing. So my question is, we've had some issues in the past with my, um, mother-in-law specifically. Um, as I've heard you say, she'd probably is kind of a travel agent for guilt trips. Um, and to where she and, um, my sisters-in-laws have reached out to my wife for financial help in the past for certain things. So my question with that is kind of as my wife is approaching this point in our life,

in our marriage, and in her career where she will be making more money, how do I help support her moving forward when I know in the back of my mind my in-laws will probably just be asking for more and more as she makes more money in her career. Does she want to give them that money? Um, she wants to help them, but she doesn't want to enable them. Um, she, she's, she's been burned in the past, um, to the point where now I'm concerned for her emotional and mental health. She's been so bad as she's had two panic attacks in the past. Yeah. So she, she, she has in the past, but in the last year or so, um, she's made the decision to, um, basically cut them off unless it's an absolute emergency. So here's the thing.

When my daughters were teenagers, we spent a lot of time discussing premarital sex. Because if you wait until you're the he, the moment, to decide about that, you're going to lose the decision. And so you have to decide ahead of time and steel your mind, S-T-E-E-L, your mind to be ready for an inevitable conflict. And you have to have already decided before the conflict occurs what's going to happen and you have to build up the courage and the muscle in your brain to be ready for that and so

i i think that's what you're asking and i think that's what you've got to do and it may involve seeing a counselor it may involve you and you guys sitting down with your pastor and releasing her from her felt obligation to these people to where she really gets very comfortable with no okay i don't know john yeah and the challenge you're gonna have is you're gonna want to do that no for her and until she gets i won't work until she comes to comes to terms with her ability to tell her family no um you're just gonna have to play a supporting role there you can as we talked about earlier you can cause a ruckus man you can say yeah i don't want using our money it's hurting them but that's this is her family and this is a brilliant woman

your wife she's getting a master's degree in the health care field she's not lacking in intellect apply that intellect to growing walk you walking with her have. Apply that intellect to growing. You walking with her, have her apply that intellect to growing in this area of emotional strength. And she loves her pulmonary patients enough to say, stop smoking. Don't go run after you just had this. She needs to love her family in that same way and say no. Right? Yep. Yep, absolutely. she needs to love her family in that same way and say no right yep yep absolutely and it's very difficult the most difficult boundary setting is between a daughter and a mother a daughter and her sister female to female is the most difficult guys can look at each other and go screw you no

a lot easier it's a lot easier for us right yeah i mean we just because we're just combative but for ladies it's like the emotional relational thing is like oh my god you know i hurt their feelings and it's like you know but she's going to reach a point where she's going to end the relationship completely if she doesn't deal with this in strength ahead of time now and it's going to reach a point where she's going to end the relationship completely if she doesn't deal with this in strength ahead of time now. And it's going to get nasty. The earlier she can draw boundaries, the better. Yeah, and just tell her to get ready for the next time. Go ahead and start working on it.

Spend some, you know, like you study. I'm going to send you a a copy of uh dr lonnie's book redefining anxiety i'm also going to send you a copy of dr henry cloud's book boundaries and this is her homework she's got to get ready for because what happens is the when you set a boundary with someone who doesn't have boundaries 100 of the time they come at you they want to know if that boundary is going to hold, right? Well, they feel entitled to you. Right.

They feel entitled to a chunk of your butt. And they keep chewing on your butt until you don't have one. And they will chew your, after they chew your butt off, they'll chew your soul out from under you? Yep. That's exactly what happens. You're going to let your family starve? You hate your mother?

Wow. What's wrong? You don't. After all I've done for you. You're just going to let your sister? You don't. After all I've done for you. You're just going to let your sister. She just needs. After all I've done. This is your own flesh and blood.

I don't know what we did. Oh, because you're fancy now. You got your masters and you're fancy. Oh, yeah. Okay. You done gone up above your raisins. You don't know. You forgot where you came from.

Man. No, I didn't. And that's why I'm not there. That's right. I forgot where you came from. Man. No, I didn't. And that's why I'm not there. That's right. I forget a bit of it. Kyle, you're a good man. Stand by that woman. Yeah, I'd help her get those muscles built.

That puts us out of the Dave Ramsey Show and the books. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus. Have a friend or family member that needs a daily dose of Ramsey advice in their life? Let them know about the Ramsey Call of the Day podcast. It's a quick hit of advice about life and money in under 10 minutes. Check out the Ramsey Call of the Day podcast wherever you listen to podcasts.